Episode 3 The Dog Ate My Homework


Episode 3

Similar Content

Browse content similar to Episode 3. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!

Transcript


LineFromTo

CHILDREN CHEER

0:00:030:00:04

BABBLING

0:00:090:00:10

Ah!

0:00:530:00:54

Oh!

0:00:580:00:59

LAUGHTER

0:00:590:01:00

We need to get that lift fixed.

0:01:000:01:02

Oh!

0:01:020:01:03

Hello, how's everyone doing?

0:01:040:01:06

AUDIENCE CHEER

0:01:060:01:11

About four people went, "Aaaargh!"

0:01:140:01:16

Everybody meet Malcolm, my twin. Say hello to Malcolm.

0:01:180:01:21

-AUDIENCE:

-Yay!

0:01:210:01:24

OK. I'm Iain Stirling. This is A Dog Ate My Homework, and after

0:01:240:01:27

a hard day at school, what could be better than a quick show about...

0:01:270:01:32

school?

0:01:320:01:33

We haven't really... We've not thought this through.

0:01:330:01:36

Anyway, let's meet our teams.

0:01:360:01:38

OK, on my right, a girl who is just like her seasonal namesake -

0:01:380:01:42

short. It's Summer, everyone.

0:01:420:01:44

-Here, sir.

-AUDIENCE CHEER

0:01:440:01:47

And on Summer's team, a man who insists on travelling first class.

0:01:470:01:51

It's great - we can stick a stamp on his head and pop him in the post.

0:01:510:01:53

It's all over the place, it's Ed Petrie.

0:01:530:01:56

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:01:560:01:57

Here, sir.

0:01:570:01:59

Also on their team, a man whose IQ score is totally off the scale -

0:01:590:02:03

unfortunately, in the wrong direction!

0:02:030:02:06

It's TV presenter Alex Riley.

0:02:060:02:07

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Here, sir.

0:02:070:02:10

OK, and on my left, a boy who's left a real mark on his school,

0:02:100:02:13

cos he writes on class walls in permanent marker -

0:02:130:02:15

it's Finley, everybody.

0:02:150:02:16

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Here, sir.

0:02:160:02:19

And on Finley's team, an actress from Horrible Histories who is

0:02:190:02:22

so lovely I once asked her on a date.

0:02:220:02:24

She said 3rd March, 1862. It's Dominique Moore.

0:02:240:02:28

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Here, sir.

0:02:280:02:31

And finally, a great friend of mine that I nicknamed Yonko,

0:02:310:02:34

but every day he has said to me, "Iain, please call me Chris."

0:02:340:02:38

So, ladies and gentlemen,

0:02:380:02:39

I'd like to introduce you all to Yonko, everybody.

0:02:390:02:42

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Here, sir.

0:02:420:02:44

Yonko, AKA Chris Johnson. Guys, give it up for today's teams.

0:02:440:02:48

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:02:480:02:52

Let's get on with the show.

0:02:520:02:53

OK, here's how the show works.

0:02:580:03:00

I set our teams questions, they give me answers.

0:03:000:03:02

If I like what I hear, then I give them a shiny golden star.

0:03:020:03:06

-AUDIENCE:

-Whoo!

0:03:060:03:09

But if they get them wrong, or accidentally set

0:03:100:03:12

the studio on fire, then I'll take them back from them.

0:03:120:03:16

-AUDIENCE:

-Ah!

0:03:170:03:18

Eh, don't question me, because it's Iain's school, so it's...

0:03:180:03:22

-ALL:

-Iain's rules!

0:03:220:03:24

At the end of the show, we'll see who's bagged the most gold stars.

0:03:240:03:27

Winners get to jump up and down with glee,

0:03:270:03:29

while the losers have to do detention with a man

0:03:290:03:32

so unpleasant, he is the only thing that flies won't land on -

0:03:320:03:35

it's Mr Smash.

0:03:350:03:37

HE BABBLES

0:03:370:03:40

-AUDIENCE:

-Boo!

0:03:400:03:42

Puh!

0:03:460:03:47

HE STRAINS

0:03:470:03:50

HE LAUGHS

0:03:510:03:54

BANG

0:04:000:04:01

CUCKOO

0:04:010:04:02

APPLAUSE

0:04:020:04:04

That made absolutely no sense. Let's get on with the show.

0:04:040:04:07

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:04:070:04:10

Time now for Stick To The Point.

0:04:150:04:18

'Stick To The Point.'

0:04:180:04:20

This round involves me asking the teams a question.

0:04:200:04:22

All they have to do is give me the answer

0:04:220:04:24

without repeating themselves, hesitating or talking gobbledygook.

0:04:240:04:28

Any errors, and I will put them in the shush position.

0:04:280:04:30

Can I see your shush positions, please?

0:04:300:04:33

Lovely shushes there.

0:04:330:04:35

But for this, we need my stick of pointiness. Now where did I...

0:04:350:04:40

LAUGHTER

0:04:400:04:41

Hold on. The dog's got it.

0:04:410:04:43

Oi! You! Come over here. Give it here!

0:04:430:04:48

Give that... Naughty dog! Get over there.

0:04:480:04:50

-AUDIENCE:

-Aww!

0:04:500:04:52

Don't pity him!

0:04:520:04:54

-AUDIENCE:

-Awww!

0:04:540:04:55

OK, here is your first topic.

0:04:550:04:56

Your first topic is things you can put in a sandwich.

0:04:560:05:00

-Chris.

-Ham.

0:05:000:05:02

-Alex?

-Lettuce.

0:05:020:05:03

-Yes, please. Dominique?

-Skit... Not skittles!

0:05:030:05:05

LAUGHTER

0:05:050:05:07

BUZZER

0:05:070:05:08

Get in the shush position.

0:05:080:05:09

-Alex?

-Peanut butter.

-Yes, please.

0:05:090:05:11

-Ed?

-Sandwich spread.

0:05:110:05:14

-Ooooh! Fin?

-Cheese.

-Cheese, yep. Alex?

0:05:140:05:18

-Banana.

-Yes, Chris?

-Margarine?

0:05:180:05:21

-Oh, OK.

-You know Chris' famous margarine sandwiches(!)

0:05:210:05:24

Yum, Yum! Oh, Mum, do I hate flavour!

0:05:240:05:28

LAUGHTER

0:05:280:05:30

-Ed?

-Fish paste.

0:05:300:05:31

Oh, and you made fun of margarine?

0:05:310:05:35

-Fin?

-Tuna.

-Tuna, yeah, that's proper fish paste. Alex?

0:05:350:05:39

-Coronation chicken.

-AUDIENCE:

-Woo!

0:05:390:05:42

All, only in Glasgow. "Oooh, Coronation chicken!"

0:05:420:05:45

I bet his telly's mounted on the wall.

0:05:470:05:49

LAUGHTER

0:05:490:05:52

Fancy pants, with his coronation chicken,

0:05:520:05:54

it's been around since the '70s.

0:05:540:05:56

What's he like?

0:05:560:05:58

Can I come back in?

0:05:580:05:59

No, shush!

0:05:590:06:01

-Chris?

-Cress.

-Cress(!)

0:06:010:06:03

With me margarine...

0:06:040:06:06

LAUGHTER

0:06:060:06:08

I like them bland.

0:06:080:06:09

Oh, it's awful plain, this margarine sandwich.

0:06:090:06:12

I'll put in this sort of grass.

0:06:120:06:14

LAUGHTER

0:06:140:06:16

-Ed?

-Er, seeds?

0:06:160:06:18

LAUGHTER

0:06:180:06:20

-Get in the shush position.

-You caught me off guard!

0:06:200:06:24

-Fin?

-Crisps?

-Yes, please. Classic.

0:06:240:06:27

-Summer?

-Potatoes.

0:06:270:06:29

LAUGHTER

0:06:290:06:31

-I put mashed potatoes in my sandwiches.

-What? Why?

0:06:310:06:34

Because my grandma makes us mashed potato and sausage and she

0:06:340:06:38

gives me a slice of bread and I make it into mashed-potato sandwich.

0:06:380:06:42

Someone loves carbs!

0:06:420:06:45

Yonko's outside going, "I've got some cress..."

0:06:450:06:47

LAUGHTER "..do you need any?"

0:06:470:06:50

-Yonk?

-Peanut butter.

-Have we had that?

-We've had that.

0:06:500:06:53

BUZZER Shush position!

0:06:530:06:55

-Oh, Fin, here we go. Summer?

-Sausages.

-Fin?

0:06:550:06:59

-I don't know.

-BUZZER

0:06:590:07:01

Oh, no!

0:07:010:07:03

I've got bored of this bit now, mate.

0:07:030:07:05

LAUGHTER

0:07:050:07:07

All right, shush position. Points go to Summer's team.

0:07:070:07:10

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:07:100:07:12

-Mashed potatoes.

-Mashed potato sandwiches all around?

0:07:140:07:16

Next one, things you find at an airport. Summer?

0:07:160:07:19

-Er, a trolley.

-It wouldn't have been my first choice...

0:07:190:07:23

LAUGHTER

0:07:230:07:24

-But well done. Dominique?

-People!

0:07:240:07:27

-Alex?

-Conveyor belt.

0:07:270:07:28

-Yes. Fin?

-Planes.

0:07:280:07:30

Well done. I'm going to give you a bonus star

0:07:300:07:32

for saying the obvious answer, about five answers in.

0:07:320:07:35

-Yeah.

-Summer?

-Bacteria.

0:07:350:07:38

LAUGHTER

0:07:380:07:40

Don't touch your hands, it's covered in bacteria. Chris?

0:07:430:07:46

Sick bags.

0:07:460:07:48

Respect that.

0:07:480:07:49

Technically, you find them on an aeroplane.

0:07:490:07:51

Ah, but where'd you get them to put them on the plane?

0:07:510:07:54

-Sick-bag shop.

-Good point.

0:07:540:07:57

Yes. Alex?

0:07:570:07:58

A man with two table tennis bats,

0:07:580:08:00

who stands in front of a plane going...

0:08:000:08:03

-Like that, like that.

-That is true.

0:08:040:08:07

-Dominique?

-What's it called? They're not trams and they're not buses.

0:08:070:08:11

Are you going to let her get away with this?

0:08:110:08:13

-LAUGHTER DOMINIQUE:

-No, but you know...

0:08:130:08:15

-Hesitation!

-You know, you have to get on them

0:08:150:08:17

to get to the next bit of the airport. What are they?

0:08:170:08:20

They're not trams...

0:08:200:08:21

-They're buses.

-Shuttle. Shuttle bus.

-Shuttles. Shuttles! Shuttles!

0:08:210:08:24

Monorails!

0:08:240:08:26

-My answer is a shuttle.

-LAUGHTER

0:08:260:08:28

Shush position.

0:08:290:08:31

You were hesitating. It's Iain's school, so it's...

0:08:310:08:35

-ALL:

-Iain's rules.

0:08:350:08:37

-OK, Summer?

-Phones.

-Fin?

0:08:370:08:39

Pilots.

0:08:390:08:41

Ah, I've got to put you in the shush position, Fin,

0:08:410:08:43

only because you hesitated a little bit and this game is taking ages.

0:08:430:08:46

-OK, Yonk?

-A tray for your electronics.

0:08:460:08:49

-Ed?

-Those little car things that go beep, beep

0:08:490:08:52

-with a granny on the back!

-LAUGHTER

0:08:520:08:54

Little fact about them - it's the granny that makes those noises!

0:08:540:08:58

-Chris?

-A tray for your belt.

-LAUGHTER

0:08:580:09:02

-It's a different tray.

-I can see where this is going. Chris.

0:09:020:09:06

A tray for your coat?

0:09:060:09:08

-Chris.

-They're different trays!

-Chris!

0:09:080:09:11

Shush position!

0:09:110:09:12

BUZZER Points go to Summer's team.

0:09:120:09:14

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:09:140:09:17

BELL RINGS

0:09:170:09:18

High-five. Don't leave me hanging there.

0:09:180:09:20

That is the end of that round and the gold stars go to...

0:09:210:09:26

Summer's team!

0:09:260:09:27

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:09:270:09:30

Time now for Pie The Supply.

0:09:360:09:39

'Pie The Supply.'

0:09:390:09:41

This is where we give our teachers a much-needed makeover -

0:09:410:09:45

or should I say cake-over?

0:09:450:09:47

Can we play the pun bell, please?

0:09:490:09:51

DING! Thank you.

0:09:510:09:53

Now, the point is, our teams will meet four people all claiming to be

0:09:530:09:57

real supply teachers, but only one of them is telling the truth.

0:09:570:10:00

Our teams must sniff out who they think that is

0:10:000:10:02

and then let the pie fly.

0:10:020:10:05

So let's meet our teachers.

0:10:050:10:08

AUDIENCE BOOS Boo, teachers.

0:10:080:10:11

Nasty, nasty teachers.

0:10:140:10:18

Right, today, all these people are claiming to be English teachers.

0:10:180:10:21

Only one of them is telling the truth.

0:10:210:10:23

And for a little heads-up, let's hear their CVs.

0:10:230:10:27

Teacher number 1 is Mrs Wood.

0:10:270:10:29

She's been an English teacher for four years.

0:10:290:10:32

In her free time, she likes taking part in battle re-enactments

0:10:320:10:36

in the countryside.

0:10:360:10:38

LAUGHTER

0:10:380:10:40

Teacher number 2 is Mrs North. She's been a teacher for three years.

0:10:400:10:43

Her favourite Shakespeare play is A Midsummer Night's Dream.

0:10:430:10:47

In her class, she always plays the part of Titania,

0:10:470:10:50

the beautiful queen of the fairies.

0:10:500:10:53

Teacher number 3 is Mrs Gillen.

0:10:530:10:55

She's been teaching English for the past 15 years.

0:10:550:10:58

Her favourite English fact is there are no words that rhyme with

0:10:580:11:01

month, orange, silver or purple.

0:11:010:11:05

She's never heard of the word "burple".

0:11:050:11:07

Teacher number 4 is Mr Thompson.

0:11:090:11:11

He's been teaching English for 12 years.

0:11:110:11:13

He thinks English is the most important subject someone can

0:11:130:11:16

study - the other subjects are just filling up the day.

0:11:160:11:19

So who do you think it is, Fin's team?

0:11:190:11:22

Have you got some questions? Let's narrow down the field.

0:11:220:11:25

-Yeah. Off the bat...

-Yeah, we've got questions.

0:11:250:11:27

..put your hand up if you like chewing gum.

0:11:270:11:30

-Oh!

-Very clever.

0:11:300:11:33

They're all the teacher.

0:11:330:11:34

-I've got a good one.

-All right.

0:11:340:11:36

Right...where do you teach?

0:11:360:11:39

Where do you teach? Number 1?

0:11:390:11:41

I teach in Rosyth.

0:11:410:11:42

-Number 2?

-Glasgow.

0:11:420:11:44

-Number 3?

-Rutherglen.

0:11:440:11:46

-Number 4?

-Falkirk.

0:11:460:11:47

They've just said where they're from.

0:11:470:11:49

LAUGHTER

0:11:490:11:51

-I've got a good one.

-Right, OK, Fin.

0:11:510:11:53

Which one do you prefer - tea or coffee?

0:11:530:11:55

-Oh, great question!

-Yes.

-Ah.

0:11:550:11:57

I want you all to answer at the same time, on the count of three.

0:11:570:12:01

One, two, three...

0:12:010:12:03

-1, 2, 4:

-Coffee.

-3:

-Tea.

0:12:030:12:05

-Ah!

-Who said coffee, who said coffee?

0:12:050:12:08

You three are lying.

0:12:080:12:10

-Teachers are not allowed to drink coffee in my school.

-Really?

-Why?

0:12:110:12:15

They're not allowed to drink coffee.

0:12:150:12:16

Why? Cos if you walked in class... "ALL RIGHT, CLASS!

0:12:160:12:19

"WELCOME!

0:12:190:12:21

"I'VE READ TEN BOOKS, I'VE NOT SLEPT IN A WEEK!"

0:12:210:12:24

Summer's team?

0:12:250:12:27

-I've got one, I've got one.

-Right.

0:12:270:12:28

I want you to tell me off for running in the corridor.

0:12:280:12:30

Right, so Ed is going to run in the corridor

0:12:300:12:32

and I'm going to pick one of you and you'll tell him off for running.

0:12:320:12:35

OK? Here we go.

0:12:350:12:37

Number 3.

0:12:370:12:38

Stop that, right now! No running in the corridor.

0:12:380:12:41

ED BLOWS RASPBERRY Don't put up with it.

0:12:410:12:43

-FIN:

-She's not it.

-Number 1, number 1.

0:12:430:12:45

Right, Ed...

0:12:450:12:47

a punishment exercise, and punishment...

0:12:470:12:49

Excuse me.

0:12:490:12:50

-Number 2.

-Ed, back to your seat NOW!

0:12:500:12:53

No, he's not having any of it.

0:12:530:12:55

And number 4?

0:12:550:12:56

Once I catch you, you're going to be a very sorry boy, Ed.

0:12:560:13:00

-ALL:

-Oh-h-h...

0:13:000:13:02

Catch me! Catch me!

0:13:020:13:05

Woo-oo-ee!

0:13:050:13:07

APPLAUSE

0:13:070:13:11

There you go. Number 4 said, if he catches you, you'll be sorry.

0:13:110:13:15

Maybe not a teacher, definitely from Glasgow.

0:13:150:13:18

Number 3 - you've been a teacher for 15 years.

0:13:190:13:22

What would you say was the major difference in teaching now

0:13:220:13:26

to 15 years ago?

0:13:260:13:27

Great question, Alex. And do you know what?

0:13:270:13:29

I'll dedicate a little bit of extra time just

0:13:290:13:31

so you can really give us the answer.

0:13:310:13:34

I think the main difference between my teaching now and my teaching

0:13:340:13:38

when I first started,

0:13:380:13:40

is now I know what I'm doing.

0:13:400:13:43

LAUGHTER

0:13:430:13:46

I'm going to give number 3 a bonus gold star.

0:13:470:13:51

TINKLING

0:13:510:13:52

Let's see what the audience think.

0:13:520:13:54

Audience, who do you think is the real teacher?

0:13:540:13:57

On the count of three, shout it out, loud and proud.

0:13:570:13:59

One, two, three...

0:13:590:14:00

THEY SHOUT

0:14:000:14:03

OK, OK. It looks like... It's tight, I think.

0:14:070:14:11

A lot of the audience think it's number 2.

0:14:110:14:13

Finley, it's time for you to...

0:14:130:14:16

'Pie the supply.'

0:14:160:14:18

Go on, Finley.

0:14:180:14:20

APPLAUSE

0:14:200:14:22

-ALL:

-Oh-h-h-h-h...

0:14:220:14:27

AUDIENCE CHEERS, LAUGHS

0:14:270:14:30

I am SO sorry.

0:14:330:14:37

I said, "pie the supply," not "drown the supply!"

0:14:370:14:40

OK...

0:14:410:14:43

Summer. Summer, Summer, Summer. Time for you to...

0:14:430:14:47

'Pie the supply.'

0:14:470:14:48

I hope it's not number 2.

0:14:480:14:50

-ALL:

-Oh-h-h-h...

0:14:510:14:56

LOUD CHEERS

0:14:560:14:58

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:14:580:15:02

Summer.

0:15:020:15:04

Summer!

0:15:040:15:06

Come over here.

0:15:060:15:07

Right, let's quickly get this over and done with.

0:15:070:15:09

Would the real supply teacher please step forward?

0:15:090:15:12

AUDIENCE JEERS, APPLAUDS

0:15:130:15:15

Oh... Well, look... Oh, my days.

0:15:170:15:21

Look, none of the you get the points, none of you get the gold stars,

0:15:210:15:24

but we've got one very smug supply teacher.

0:15:240:15:27

Give it up for the teacher.

0:15:270:15:29

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:15:290:15:32

OK, guys,

0:15:370:15:39

a bit of science now. This is Lost Words.

0:15:390:15:43

'Lost Words.'

0:15:430:15:45

This is the part of the show where I give the teams a fact with

0:15:450:15:47

some missing words. All they have to do is fill in the blanks.

0:15:470:15:50

For example, "blank" is the emptiest place on planet Earth.

0:15:500:15:56

The answer, of course, being,

0:15:560:15:57

Mr Smash's head...

0:15:570:16:00

HAMMERING ECHOES

0:16:000:16:03

..is the emptiest place on planet Earth.

0:16:030:16:05

OK, so... This is a buzzer round.

0:16:050:16:07

Fin, can I hear your buzzer, please?

0:16:070:16:10

HORN HONKS

0:16:100:16:12

Oh, bless you, Fin.

0:16:120:16:15

And, Summer, can I hear yours?

0:16:150:16:17

Bit quiet.

0:16:170:16:19

That's much better. OK, fingers on the buzzers.

0:16:190:16:22

Here is your facts. First fact...

0:16:220:16:24

'School disco.'

0:16:240:16:26

School disco!

0:16:260:16:28

MUSIC: "Easy Love" by Sigala

0:16:280:16:33

RECORD NEEDLE SCRATCHES

0:16:430:16:46

OK, back to the science round.

0:16:460:16:48

Under extreme high pressure, "blank" can be made from "blank"?

0:16:480:16:54

Dominique-ique-ique?

0:16:550:16:58

Under extreme high pressure, stress can be made from calm people.

0:16:580:17:05

Thank you.

0:17:100:17:12

Do you know what, Dominique? It's very true

0:17:120:17:14

cos, until I met you, I was a very calm person.

0:17:140:17:16

Any more for any more? Alex Riley from The Vun Show?

0:17:180:17:22

Erm, hello der.

0:17:220:17:24

Under extreme high pressure,

0:17:240:17:26

extra mature stilton can be made from Iain's socks.

0:17:260:17:31

AUDIENCE GROANS Yes.

0:17:310:17:33

Under extreme high pressure,

0:17:330:17:35

Chris Johnson can be made from yoghurt.

0:17:350:17:37

What, are you 90%?

0:17:390:17:41

95%, actually.

0:17:410:17:43

-OK.

-Yeah, fromage.

0:17:430:17:45

Chris Fromage Johnson... Yes, Chris?

0:17:450:17:47

Under extreme high pressure, farts can be made from pure fear.

0:17:470:17:51

Summer?

0:17:560:17:57

Under extreme high pressure, electricity can be made from ants.

0:17:570:18:02

-I've got a feeling you may have just made that up in your mind.

-Yeah.

0:18:040:18:08

Yes, Chris?

0:18:080:18:09

Under extreme high pressure, diamonds can be made from coal.

0:18:090:18:12

-ALL:

-Ooh!

0:18:120:18:14

-Do you know what, it is diamonds...

-Oh?

0:18:160:18:18

-..but it's not coal.

-Oh.

-But it's near enough.

0:18:180:18:22

It is, under extreme high pressure,

0:18:220:18:24

diamonds can be made from peanut butter.

0:18:240:18:27

-ALL:

-What?!

0:18:270:18:29

-No.

-The other non-renewable resource.

0:18:290:18:32

Look at the shock in the room.

0:18:320:18:34

One day in December 1955,

0:18:340:18:37

Robert Wentorf went out of his local food store, bought a jar of

0:18:370:18:40

crunchy peanut butter, spread some in the centre of a huge machine...

0:18:400:18:43

After leaving it for a while,

0:18:430:18:45

he opened it up to reveal a tiny green-tinged diamond.

0:18:450:18:49

I'm going to try that when I get home.

0:18:490:18:51

What was this machine he put it in?

0:18:510:18:53

-A high-pressure machine.

-Oh.

0:18:530:18:54

This is going to change the world. "Oh! He's proposed to me.

0:18:560:19:00

"He got down on one knee and put the peanut butter on my finger."

0:19:000:19:04

Right, here we go. Scientists...

0:19:040:19:07

They're clever, aren't they?

0:19:070:19:09

HORN HONKS Yes, Dominique-ique-ique?

0:19:140:19:18

Scientists have developed a way of charging your toothbrush using...

0:19:180:19:23

-FIN:

-Batteries.

-..batteries? No, that's not it...

0:19:230:19:27

He stitched you right up!

0:19:270:19:29

What, they've invented an electric toothbrush?

0:19:290:19:32

-That is the future.

-That's not what I was going to say.

0:19:320:19:36

Diamonds from peanut butter, now electric toothbrushes...

0:19:360:19:38

What next? A radio?

0:19:380:19:40

BELL DINGS

0:19:400:19:42

Is it scientists have developed a way of

0:19:420:19:44

charging your phone using peanut butter?

0:19:440:19:47

Ooh... "Mobile" is correct.

0:19:470:19:49

-Dominique-ique-ique?

-Charging your mobile using food?

0:19:490:19:53

No, no... Think more bodily function. We're thinking...

0:19:530:19:55

BELL DINGS Ed?

0:19:550:19:57

Wee?

0:19:570:19:59

HORN HONKS Wait. Ed, that is disgusting.

0:19:590:20:02

-Wow.

-No, it's disgusting.

0:20:030:20:05

-Absolutely vile.

-It's correct, though.

0:20:050:20:07

This is the BBC...

0:20:070:20:09

and you're right - it's correct.

0:20:090:20:11

Who put that up?

0:20:110:20:13

BELL RINGS Oh, that is all we've got time for.

0:20:130:20:16

At the end of that round, the gold star goes to...

0:20:160:20:21

Summer's team!

0:20:210:20:22

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:20:220:20:25

HE IMPERSONATES A SEAL

0:20:300:20:32

Yes, OK. Time now for Body Language...

0:20:320:20:36

'Body Language.'

0:20:360:20:38

..where the answer to every question will be tiny three-letter words,

0:20:380:20:42

mostly so Yonko can understand them.

0:20:420:20:45

However, our teams have to spell out those words using nothing more

0:20:450:20:49

than their limbs and other body bits.

0:20:490:20:51

So let's bring down the Body Language frame thingy.

0:20:510:20:56

OK.

0:21:020:21:04

Finley's team, you're up first. How do you feel?

0:21:040:21:06

Dominique, do you feel nice? Do you feel good?

0:21:060:21:08

-Well, I've been stretching, so...

-Are you limbered up?

-Yeah.

0:21:080:21:11

-Nice and limber.

-Yeah, I'd say that.

-Fin, how are you feeling?

0:21:110:21:14

-Good.

-Good?

-Yeah.

0:21:140:21:15

-Yonk?

-Yeah.

0:21:150:21:18

-It's not my name, though, is it?

-No, it's not, Yonk, it isn't.

0:21:180:21:21

OK... LAUGHTER

0:21:210:21:23

You have until the bell to say as many words as you possibly can spell.

0:21:230:21:27

OK, you ready? Your time stars when I ask the first question. Here we go...

0:21:270:21:30

This tree grows from acorns...

0:21:300:21:32

-Oak?

-Yes.

0:21:320:21:34

Which way are we going? Are you doing the "O" or am I doing the "O"?

0:21:340:21:36

-You're "O". "O-A..."

-I'm "O"?

0:21:360:21:38

You're the first letter, that's how it works.

0:21:380:21:40

I didn't know if it was that direction or...

0:21:400:21:42

No, cos it's not Arabic - it's the normal way that a word goes.

0:21:420:21:45

-Are you doing a letter or a rugby scrum, Fin? I can't tell.

-I'm "A".

0:21:450:21:48

-Are you "A"?

-Yeah.

0:21:480:21:49

You look like you're in pain, mate.

0:21:490:21:52

What are YOU doing?!

0:21:520:21:55

I'm "O".

0:21:550:21:56

You look like you're having a baby.

0:21:580:22:00

Well...

0:22:000:22:02

I'll give you that, OK. The opposite of "lose"?

0:22:020:22:04

-ALL:

-Win.

-Am I "W"?

0:22:040:22:06

Yes!

0:22:060:22:08

-It's not going to change.

-I'm allowed to talk to my team.

0:22:080:22:10

Stop talking to me! Look! What are YOU doing?

0:22:100:22:14

LAUGHTER

0:22:140:22:16

-What are you doing?

-I'm "W".

0:22:160:22:18

-"W" doesn't walk like that.

-Yeah, but I can't keep them in the air.

0:22:180:22:21

What... You look like you're going to fart on Fin.

0:22:210:22:24

You'll get the point if Chris can hold it for three seconds.

0:22:260:22:29

-One, two...

-Go on, Chris.

-One, two, three... Got a point.

0:22:290:22:33

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:22:330:22:34

Sushi is made from what fish?

0:22:340:22:36

-Fish.

-Raw.

0:22:360:22:38

Yeah. Not what sushi is - sushi's a rice roll, but let's...

0:22:380:22:41

I still don't understand how that's an "A".

0:22:430:22:45

How is that an "A"?

0:22:450:22:46

-It's an 'A'.

-How's that...? You can't just say, "It's an 'A'."

0:22:460:22:49

Cos of the circle here, and then it's...

0:22:490:22:51

Oh, you're the tick? All right, I'll give you that.

0:22:510:22:54

You might get one of these on your back for doing a good job.

0:22:540:22:57

-I'm the "P"?

-YES!

0:22:590:23:00

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

0:23:000:23:01

Why do you keep giving him "A"?

0:23:010:23:03

Do that!

0:23:050:23:06

IAIN GROANS

0:23:080:23:09

# The holly and the... # ?

0:23:090:23:11

Ivy.

0:23:110:23:13

-You're "I".

-Am I "I"?

-You're "I".

0:23:130:23:15

What are you...? "I".

0:23:150:23:18

-I'm a dancing "I".

-But why have you got your arms out like a "T"?

0:23:180:23:21

I'm a capital "I" - it's the beginning of the word.

0:23:210:23:24

Where's the bottom bit?

0:23:240:23:25

-Look.

-Turn your feet outward.

0:23:250:23:28

You need these to row a boat.

0:23:280:23:30

-BELL RINGS FIN AND CHRIS:

-Oar.

0:23:300:23:32

Aw, time's up.

0:23:320:23:34

OK, Fin's team, well done.

0:23:340:23:36

Summer's team, please make your way to whatever we're calling this today.

0:23:360:23:40

Ed, do you understand how words work?

0:23:430:23:47

Better than Dominique, I hope.

0:23:470:23:49

Good. Summer, how would you do an "A"?

0:23:490:23:51

Oh, my days. OK...

0:23:510:23:54

I wish I hadn't asked.

0:23:540:23:56

-Alex?

-Hiya.

-Are you all right, mate?

0:23:560:23:58

I feel like I'm coming into your house, but you're very showbiz.

0:23:580:24:01

Ta-da!

0:24:010:24:03

OK, your time starts when I ask the first question. Here we go...

0:24:030:24:06

Big part of an elephant's face, small part of a mouse's face.

0:24:060:24:10

-Ear?

-Yes.

0:24:100:24:11

An "A"! AUDIENCE CHEERS

0:24:140:24:17

Bonus gold star to Summer.

0:24:170:24:19

OK, one of these stopped me getting food down me onesie.

0:24:190:24:22

-Bib.

-Yes.

-I'm an "I".

0:24:240:24:26

Let's see who does the best "B"...

0:24:260:24:29

LAUGHTER

0:24:300:24:32

Correct, correct, correct.

0:24:380:24:39

# ..a deer, a female deer. # ?

0:24:390:24:42

-Doe.

-Doe. Yes.

-Doe, a deer.

0:24:420:24:44

-What am I?

-An "O"... I mean, come on. "O".

0:24:440:24:47

Looks like you're meditating and pooing at the same time.

0:24:490:24:53

The part of your jacket that has tiny little teeth.

0:24:530:24:56

-Zip!

-Zip!

0:24:560:24:57

Oh, I see a peach of a "Z".

0:24:570:24:59

Do a "Z", Ed.

0:24:590:25:02

ED GRUNTS, AUDIENCE LAUGHS

0:25:020:25:04

Keep your arm a bit lower.

0:25:040:25:05

Well done.

0:25:080:25:10

You might put an egg in this.

0:25:100:25:11

-Bap?

-Bap?!

0:25:110:25:13

Cup, cup.

0:25:130:25:14

No, the "C" is not curvy enough, Ed.

0:25:160:25:18

-Nope, still not curvy enough.

-Get down!

0:25:180:25:20

That's better. There we go, I'll give you that.

0:25:200:25:23

Opposite of her.

0:25:230:25:24

-Him!

-Him!

0:25:240:25:27

LAUGHTER

0:25:270:25:29

Put your arms like this.

0:25:310:25:33

Alex, I'll give you the point if you do it facing the other way round.

0:25:350:25:39

Just do it, just do it.

0:25:390:25:40

There we go.

0:25:420:25:44

HE GROANS

0:25:440:25:45

Oh, no-one's got to see that.

0:25:450:25:47

-Not he, but...

-Him?

0:25:470:25:49

-No, not he. "Oh, it's not 'he', that's embarrassing."

-She!

0:25:490:25:53

What...?

0:25:530:25:55

-What was the?

-She!

-She!

0:25:550:25:58

Oh, Alex missed it! Alex missed it.

0:25:580:26:00

THEY BICKER

0:26:000:26:02

All right, guys, give them a round of applause. Job well done.

0:26:020:26:05

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:050:26:07

So, at the end of that round,

0:26:100:26:13

I can tell you that the gold star goes to...

0:26:130:26:18

Summer's team!

0:26:180:26:20

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:200:26:22

And that's just about that.

0:26:280:26:30

All that remains is for me to add up the scores,

0:26:300:26:32

so let's bring down the stars.

0:26:320:26:36

STARS TINKLE, AUDIENCE GASPS So the winners today are...

0:26:360:26:41

Summer's team!

0:26:410:26:43

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:430:26:44

-Oh, my God.

-Yes!

-Yes!

0:26:440:26:47

Congratulations, you have a lifetime supply of feeling excellent.

0:26:470:26:53

Unfortunately for Fin's team, you have a fate worse than

0:26:530:26:56

gym in your pants - it's detention with Mr Smash.

0:26:560:26:59

Time for you to take the walk of shame.

0:26:590:27:02

-# La-la-la, la-la-la

-Loser!

0:27:020:27:04

-# La-la-la, la-la-la

-Loser!

0:27:040:27:06

-# La-la-la, la-la-la

-Loser!

0:27:060:27:08

# Losers. #

0:27:080:27:10

So, guys, that's your lot. Hopefully, catch you again soon.

0:27:100:27:13

As ever, we didn't learn much, but I tell you what -

0:27:130:27:15

it was fun trying.

0:27:150:27:17

See you all next time on...

0:27:170:27:19

-ALL:

-The Dog Ate My Homework.

0:27:190:27:22

HIGH-PITCHED: See ya!

0:27:220:27:25

MUSIC PLAYS

0:27:250:27:28

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:27:280:27:32

Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS