Charlotte v Harriette The Dog Ate My Homework


Charlotte v Harriette

Iain Stirling is joined by child team captains Charlotte and Harriette and special guests Sam Nixon, Mark Rhodes, Suzi Ruffell and Ray Bradshaw.


Similar Content

Browse content similar to Charlotte v Harriette. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!

Transcript


LineFromTo

AAARRRRRGH!

0:00:020:00:05

THEY BABBLE

0:00:150:00:18

Hello! I'm Iain Stirling and welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework.

0:00:540:00:58

If this is a swimming pool of comedy,

0:00:580:01:00

then stick on some armbands and jump right in.

0:01:000:01:04

Although, like any swimming pool, I will know if you've had an accident.

0:01:040:01:08

Well, Smash will.

0:01:080:01:10

Sam, I told you to go before we started.

0:01:100:01:13

CROWD LAUGHS

0:01:130:01:15

HE SNORTS

0:01:150:01:16

Let's take the register. On my right,

0:01:160:01:19

a girl whose teacher said they could do a project on any time in history.

0:01:190:01:23

Naturally, she chose lunchtime.

0:01:230:01:25

It's Charlotte, everybody!

0:01:250:01:26

-Here, sir!

-Yes.

0:01:260:01:27

APPLAUSE

0:01:270:01:29

And on Charlotte's team, the cutest guy with great big dimples.

0:01:290:01:34

He's never had a pimple, although he is quite simple.

0:01:340:01:38

From Big Friday Wind-Up, it's Sam Nixon!

0:01:380:01:41

Here, sir.

0:01:410:01:42

APPLAUSE

0:01:420:01:43

Also on Charlotte's team, a comedian who, sadly,

0:01:430:01:47

I didn't have a rhyme about.

0:01:470:01:49

Only joking, Of course I do!

0:01:490:01:50

I, like Len Goodman, am a master of rhymes.

0:01:500:01:53

So make a kerfuffle, she loves a truffle,

0:01:530:01:56

it's Suzi Ruffell!

0:01:560:01:58

Here, Sir!

0:01:580:01:59

APPLAUSE

0:01:590:02:01

Imagine if she'd worn a duffel - would've been amazing.

0:02:010:02:04

And on my left,

0:02:040:02:05

a girl who's been practising for her music exams on the maracas.

0:02:050:02:09

Apparently, she's still a bit shaky. He-he-he-he!

0:02:090:02:13

You're welcome. It's Harriette!

0:02:130:02:14

Here, Sir!

0:02:140:02:15

APPLAUSE

0:02:150:02:18

On Harriette's team,

0:02:180:02:19

a comedian who gives people jokes for their birthday,

0:02:190:02:22

although if I was you, I would keep the receipts.

0:02:220:02:25

It's Ray Bradshaw!

0:02:250:02:26

Here, sir!

0:02:260:02:28

APPLAUSE

0:02:280:02:29

Also on Harriette's team, another presenter, and, yes,

0:02:290:02:32

our Mark here is an actual model.

0:02:320:02:35

The real Mark's a lot bigger.

0:02:350:02:37

It's Mark Rhodes!

0:02:370:02:38

Here, sir.

0:02:380:02:39

APPLAUSE

0:02:390:02:41

Ladies and gentlemen, can we have applause for today's teams!

0:02:410:02:44

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:02:440:02:50

So what's with all the people behind the desks, Iain?

0:02:500:02:53

I'm glad you asked.

0:02:530:02:54

Well, as usual, our teams will be locked in a brain battle

0:02:540:02:57

to win these - my delectable golden stars.

0:02:570:03:01

CROWD: OOOOOOH!

0:03:010:03:04

Along the way, I'll award bonus stars

0:03:040:03:06

to anyone who puts an extra big smile on my face.

0:03:060:03:09

But be warned! Any cheek

0:03:090:03:11

and I can make them go away using this foul-smelling spray.

0:03:110:03:16

What? What?

0:03:180:03:19

Hee-hee-hee.

0:03:190:03:21

-That's actually quite nice.

-Well...

0:03:210:03:24

Sorry, this is a... This is a foul-smelling spray!

0:03:240:03:27

CROWD LAUGHS

0:03:270:03:29

ERGH! OH!

0:03:290:03:31

It smells of Yorkshire Tea and brass bands!

0:03:310:03:33

You're welcome.

0:03:330:03:34

But don't turn your nose up at me,

0:03:370:03:39

because it's Iain's school so it's...

0:03:390:03:42

CROWD: IAIN'S RULES!

0:03:420:03:44

# I've got a catchphrase! #

0:03:440:03:46

The teams with the most stars at the end of the show will be our winners,

0:03:460:03:49

while the losers face detention with a man so scary,

0:03:490:03:51

even his baby photos have an 18 certificate.

0:03:510:03:54

It's Mr Smash.

0:03:540:03:56

CROWD: BOOOOO!

0:03:560:03:58

You've been tending some sheep, I believe.

0:03:580:04:00

Oh, mate, you've not done a Little Bo Peep

0:04:000:04:02

and lost your sheep, have you?

0:04:020:04:03

HE SOBS

0:04:030:04:06

Mate, listen, maybe the dog's got one of those sheep collars

0:04:060:04:09

you can borrow.

0:04:090:04:10

-Ruff? Rargh, ha-ha-ha!

-There you go.

0:04:100:04:13

Give it a blow!

0:04:130:04:14

QUACK! QUACK!

0:04:150:04:16

Argh!

0:04:160:04:17

Try again.

0:04:170:04:19

QUACK! QUACK!

0:04:190:04:20

Argh, blargh!

0:04:200:04:22

Hey, give it a bit of gusto!

0:04:220:04:23

BAAAA!

0:04:250:04:27

HEE-HEE-HEE!

0:04:270:04:29

CROWD LAUGHS

0:04:290:04:31

A sheep landed on his head!

0:04:310:04:34

OK, guys, let's get on with the sho-o-o-o-ow!

0:04:340:04:37

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:04:370:04:39

General knowledge now, and Watch Your Mouth.

0:04:420:04:44

-ANNOUNCER:

-Watch Your Mouth!

0:04:440:04:46

This is where our teams have to talk

0:04:460:04:48

whilst they have one of these stuck in their mush.

0:04:480:04:52

It is...

0:04:520:04:53

..a Mr Smash growl-maker.

0:04:530:04:56

Please insert your growl-makers now.

0:04:560:04:59

Get them right in there.

0:04:590:05:01

Ray, how are you? All right?

0:05:020:05:03

I-I'm good, thank you.

0:05:030:05:05

How's it like being on the show for the first time?

0:05:050:05:07

-HE MUFFLES:

-Er, yerry dyayning.

0:05:070:05:10

What?

0:05:100:05:11

Yerry dyayning.

0:05:110:05:13

-Sorry?

-It's good.

0:05:130:05:14

Ah.

0:05:140:05:15

CROWD LAUGHS

0:05:150:05:17

Charlotte, Harriette, the twins, how yous doing?

0:05:170:05:19

Anazing.

0:05:190:05:21

You can do it!

0:05:210:05:22

I know I can!

0:05:220:05:24

-THEY MUFFLE:

-Sho can you!

-Sho can you!

0:05:240:05:27

First question. What do you call a social group of lions?

0:05:270:05:32

-BUZZER:

-Harriette.

0:05:320:05:34

-HE MUFFLES:

-Uh hryde.

0:05:340:05:37

A hryde!

0:05:370:05:39

HA-HA-HA!

0:05:390:05:40

A hryde of lions!

0:05:400:05:41

CROWD LAUGHS

0:05:410:05:42

A hryde of lions, darleng!

0:05:420:05:44

HA-HA-HA!

0:05:440:05:45

-ANNOUNCER:

-SCHOOOOOL DISCOOOOO!

0:05:460:05:48

Go, go, go!

0:05:480:05:49

# Don't you worry, don't you worry, child

0:05:510:05:55

# See heaven's got a plan for you

0:05:550:05:58

# Don't you worry, don't you worry, child

0:05:580:06:02

# See heaven's got a plan for you

0:06:020:06:05

# Don't you worry, don't you worry, child

0:06:050:06:09

# See heaven's got a plan for you

0:06:090:06:13

# Don't you worry, don't you worry, child... #

0:06:130:06:17

RECORD SCRATCHES

0:06:170:06:18

One last time?

0:06:210:06:22

-A hryde of lions!

-A pride!

0:06:220:06:24

For an extra bonus point,

0:06:240:06:26

can your entire team please roar like lions?

0:06:260:06:29

-ROAR!

-RARRRGH!

0:06:290:06:31

Hargh?

0:06:310:06:32

That's a lion that roared too loud and a little trump came out.

0:06:340:06:37

Raar...

0:06:370:06:38

Oooh.

0:06:380:06:39

OK, next one, fingers on your buzzers.

0:06:390:06:43

In Harry Potter, what is a term for someone who is not magical?

0:06:430:06:47

-BUZZER:

-Charlotte!

-Yes, Charlotte.

0:06:470:06:48

Uh huggle.

0:06:480:06:49

A muggle's correct.

0:06:490:06:51

Name three other characters from the series, Suzi,

0:06:510:06:53

-and you can't have Ron, Harry or Hermione.

-Mm...

0:06:530:06:56

Hrofessor McGonagall.

0:06:560:06:58

Yeah.

0:06:580:06:59

Dumdledore.

0:06:590:07:00

-Yeah.

-And...

0:07:000:07:02

..Rhisses Weasley.

0:07:020:07:03

Mrs Weasley, very well done.

0:07:030:07:05

OK, fingers on buzzers.

0:07:050:07:07

What is the name of the iconic monument

0:07:070:07:09

gifted by France to the US, which stands in...

0:07:090:07:11

-BUZZER:

-Harriette!

0:07:110:07:13

Stattuh Uh Liherty.

0:07:130:07:14

HA-HA-HA!

0:07:160:07:18

Hehhy teysee.

0:07:220:07:23

Glad you've done that?

0:07:240:07:26

Narh.

0:07:260:07:28

Bonus point, can you sing the American National Anthem?

0:07:280:07:33

# Hoh shay cah you hee

0:07:330:07:36

# Arh the darn's early light

0:07:360:07:41

Uh..

0:07:410:07:42

WAILING AND TUNELESS SINGING

0:07:420:07:44

Ahhh!

0:07:500:07:52

No, I can't.

0:07:520:07:53

Fingers on buzzers.

0:07:540:07:56

What is the name of the traditional Australian object

0:07:560:07:58

which is designed to come back when...

0:07:580:08:00

-BUZZER:

-Charlotte!

-Yes, Suzi.

0:08:000:08:02

-A...

-Hm?

0:08:020:08:03

A hrrang

0:08:030:08:05

What?

0:08:050:08:06

Hoorerang.

0:08:060:08:08

-It's like...

-A hoorerang!

0:08:080:08:10

-You can't...

-Oh, boomerang! Yep, that's correct.

0:08:100:08:13

For a bonus point, can you name the capital of Australia?

0:08:130:08:16

-Canberra.

-Yeah!

-Woo!

0:08:160:08:19

People normally say Sydney, but it isnae.

0:08:190:08:22

Hah, good! Good.

0:08:220:08:23

Fingers on buzzers.

0:08:230:08:24

Salt and vinegar, cheese and onion,

0:08:240:08:26

ready salted are all popular flavours of...

0:08:260:08:28

-BUZZER:

-Harriette!

-Yes.

0:08:280:08:29

-Crists.

-Yes.

0:08:290:08:30

-That's correct, and welcome to the show, Ray.

-Oh, no!

0:08:300:08:33

For a bonus point, can you eat some crisps?

0:08:330:08:36

Woohoo!

0:08:370:08:39

THEY CHANT: Ray! Ray! Ray!

0:08:390:08:44

Yay!

0:08:440:08:46

THEY ALL LAUGH

0:08:460:08:49

Go on, Ray!

0:08:490:08:51

-That is disgusting.

-Yeah.

0:08:520:08:54

Easy!

0:08:540:08:55

You've got it on your...

0:08:550:08:57

-Weyy!

-Ha-ha-ha!

0:08:570:08:59

Fingers on buzzers.

0:08:590:09:00

What kind of food does a herbivore eat?

0:09:000:09:02

-BUZZER:

-Charlotte!

0:09:030:09:05

Hedgedehuls.

0:09:050:09:06

THEY LAUGH

0:09:060:09:07

OK. Name three types of green vegetable.

0:09:090:09:12

-Ruccoli...

-Yeah.

0:09:120:09:13

..asharagus

0:09:130:09:15

and green reans.

0:09:150:09:17

-Green reans?

-Gleen reans.

0:09:170:09:19

Lean...

0:09:190:09:21

-Green...

-Green?

0:09:210:09:23

-..yeans.

-Yeans.

0:09:230:09:26

Like runner reans!

0:09:260:09:27

Green beans!

0:09:270:09:28

-Yeah, that was good!

-There, you said... Say it again?

0:09:280:09:31

-Deans!

-Deans?!

0:09:310:09:33

I can't give you the point, I'm afraid.

0:09:330:09:34

-Ahh!

-Ahh!

-Ahh!

0:09:340:09:36

Sorry, it's green beans. That's what I was looking for.

0:09:360:09:38

That's rot I rere saying!

0:09:380:09:40

Fingers on buzzers. What ferocious carnivorous dinosaur

0:09:400:09:43

is famous for having a big head and tiny little arms?

0:09:430:09:45

-BUZZER:

-Harriette!

0:09:450:09:46

Tyrannosaurus Yex.

0:09:460:09:49

Yes, correct.

0:09:490:09:50

For a bonus point. This is a big one.

0:09:500:09:53

Your best Tyrannosaurus Rex impressions.

0:09:530:09:55

RAAAARGH!

0:09:550:09:57

RAAAR!

0:09:570:09:58

Oh, no, there's not...

0:09:580:09:59

Hrrrr!

0:09:590:10:00

THEY ALL LAUGH

0:10:000:10:02

-Hoooo!

-Woooo!

-Wooo-oooh!

0:10:020:10:07

Actually, Tyrranosaurus Rex in real life are very friendly creatures.

0:10:070:10:10

They only got angry because they could never itch their belly.

0:10:100:10:14

HE WHIMPERS

0:10:140:10:17

BELL RINGS Oh, time up!

0:10:170:10:19

And at the end of that round, I can reveal the gold star goes to...

0:10:190:10:24

-..Harriette's team!

-Wheyy!

-Yeah!

0:10:260:10:28

APPLAUSE

0:10:280:10:31

It's time now for Pie the Supply.

0:10:340:10:36

-ANNOUNCER:

-Pie the Supply!

0:10:360:10:39

Over yonder are four people all claiming to be real teachers

0:10:390:10:43

but only one is telling the truth.

0:10:430:10:46

Yeah, talk out of your face and get a pie i-in your face.

0:10:460:10:52

And if both teams fail to identify the real teacher,

0:10:520:10:55

then there will be a penalty!

0:10:550:10:58

CROWD: OOOOOH!

0:10:580:11:00

You've been warned.

0:11:000:11:02

And today, our teachers are all of the mathematical variety.

0:11:020:11:07

We have got teacher one, Mr Allen.

0:11:070:11:10

Teacher two, Mr Duku.

0:11:100:11:13

Teacher three, Miss McKay.

0:11:130:11:17

Teacher four, Mr Bradley.

0:11:170:11:20

OK, so, Charlotte's team, just first impressions,

0:11:200:11:24

have a look, which one says "maths teacher" to you? Math-y.

0:11:240:11:28

Number one.

0:11:280:11:29

One? Why?

0:11:290:11:31

-Just looks a bit math-y.

-Math-y.

-Yeah.

0:11:310:11:34

Yeah? You think number one. Charlotte, what do you think?

0:11:340:11:37

You're still at school.

0:11:370:11:38

Yeah, I think number one just because he looks like

0:11:380:11:40

he's trying to hide the fact

0:11:400:11:41

that he is a supply teacher, so...

0:11:410:11:44

-Sneaky.

-Yeah.

-He's trying to hide the fact?

0:11:440:11:46

-Yeah.

-Sam?

0:11:460:11:48

Number one actually looks a little bit like a maths teacher that I had,

0:11:480:11:51

Mr Patrick.

0:11:510:11:53

That's cheating if that's Mr Patrick.

0:11:530:11:55

That's completely out of order.

0:11:550:11:57

But I don't know, there's part of me thinking number three.

0:11:570:11:59

-Don't know why, just am.

-Yeah.

0:11:590:12:01

OK. Harriette's team, one, two, three or four?

0:12:010:12:03

Just first impressions,

0:12:030:12:04

what's the first thing what pops into your mind?

0:12:040:12:06

I'm going for number three and four.

0:12:060:12:08

-You think three or four?

-Yeah.

0:12:080:12:10

I think four's got the shoes on of a man who spends a lot of time

0:12:100:12:13

standing at whiteboards...

0:12:130:12:15

-Excellent.

-..doing maths.

0:12:150:12:16

Number one doesn't look like he teaches maths, he teaches fashion,

0:12:160:12:19

-because that dickie bow is rocking.

-Yeah.

0:12:190:12:22

It's actually a tie, he just doesn't know how to tie it.

0:12:220:12:25

I like it. I like it.

0:12:250:12:27

-It's not him.

-Yeah.

0:12:270:12:29

Why do you think number three?

0:12:290:12:31

Number two and three look a bit guilty, they're like, "Mmm"...

0:12:310:12:33

-Guilty!

-Guilty!

0:12:330:12:35

-Like they don't want to be here.

-Yeah, like, "Oh, we're teachers."

0:12:350:12:38

Number three's looking at you now going,

0:12:380:12:40

"It's your own time you're wasting!"

0:12:400:12:42

OK, let's delve deeper. If you've got any questions,

0:12:420:12:45

they're maths teachers, they know their stuff.

0:12:450:12:47

Who do you want to speak to? Sam?

0:12:470:12:49

-Can I quickly go down the line of all of them, please?

-Yeah!

0:12:490:12:52

And ask, starting with number one,

0:12:520:12:54

what's the name of your school that you work in? Go!

0:12:540:12:56

Saint Mungo's High School.

0:12:560:12:57

-Two.

-Royston.

0:12:570:12:59

-Three.

-Forfar Academy.

0:12:590:13:01

St Columba's High School.

0:13:010:13:02

-Oh.

-Ooh, look at it.

0:13:020:13:04

Number four was dead smug.

0:13:040:13:06

"High school."

0:13:060:13:07

HA-HA-HA!

0:13:070:13:08

"These lot are still doing adding and sub... I'm long division."

0:13:080:13:12

-Any more questions?

-I've got, uh, number one,

0:13:130:13:17

7x7?

0:13:170:13:18

49.

0:13:180:13:19

-Oh!

-7x6?

0:13:190:13:21

42.

0:13:210:13:22

You just asked 49-7, that's what you just asked.

0:13:220:13:26

49-7?

0:13:260:13:28

42.

0:13:280:13:29

THEY ALL LAUGH

0:13:290:13:30

-Very good!

-Which is actually his

0:13:300:13:31

neck size if you want to pick up one of those dickie bows.

0:13:310:13:34

I do, I really do.

0:13:340:13:35

Charlotte, you've got to have a question?

0:13:350:13:37

If someone in your class was talking, what would you say to them?

0:13:370:13:40

We'll go with number two first.

0:13:400:13:43

That's a dead easy thing

0:13:430:13:44

because normally you're supposed to be listening

0:13:440:13:46

and when you're not listening, you get punished for it, so,

0:13:460:13:50

you get detention.

0:13:500:13:52

I mean, I've been more convinced by things in my past.

0:13:520:13:55

THEY ALL LAUGH

0:13:550:13:57

It's not number two!

0:13:570:13:59

No...

0:13:590:14:01

Uh, number four?

0:14:010:14:02

Well, do you know?

0:14:020:14:03

I think I'd invite them to come up to the front of the class

0:14:030:14:06

and just tell everybody what they're talking about.

0:14:060:14:09

Number one.

0:14:090:14:10

I think I would make a promise of the severest consequences,

0:14:100:14:14

should the talking continue.

0:14:140:14:16

I mean, that's the most Scottish thing I've ever heard.

0:14:160:14:20

And finally, number three.

0:14:200:14:22

Erm, I would probably say that you weren't disappointing me,

0:14:220:14:25

you were disappointing yourself.

0:14:250:14:27

-"I'm not angry, I'm disappointed."

-"Just disappointed."

0:14:270:14:31

-Yeah, yeah.

-The worst, the worst.

0:14:310:14:32

OK, Harriette's team, we've had some strong questions over here.

0:14:320:14:36

Number three, how long have you been a teacher for?

0:14:360:14:39

I've been a teacher now for 20 years.

0:14:390:14:42

Surely you were seven when you started, then?

0:14:420:14:44

-Absolutely.

-All right, easy!

0:14:440:14:46

I said ask them some questions, not flirt with them!

0:14:460:14:49

THEY ALL LAUGH

0:14:490:14:51

Sorry, sorry.

0:14:510:14:53

Erm, OK, number one,

0:14:530:14:54

seriously, where did you get your dickie bow from?

0:14:540:14:57

I got it as a present from some very grateful pupils.

0:14:570:15:01

-No way!

-There's no way a Scottish pupil would buy someone a bow tie.

0:15:010:15:05

"Oh, oh, Craig, it's been a great year this year,

0:15:050:15:09

"what should we get our maths teacher?

0:15:090:15:11

"Oh, I've seen these lovely dickie bows knocking about."

0:15:110:15:14

CROWD LAUGHS

0:15:140:15:15

Yeah, I know, well, I think we know who it isn't.

0:15:150:15:19

We're all in this room together.

0:15:190:15:20

The audience, I want to know - one, two, three or four?

0:15:200:15:24

Who do you think it is? Please vote now.

0:15:240:15:26

CROWD SHOUT THEIR CHOICES

0:15:260:15:28

Right, so there was a lot of fours in there,

0:15:400:15:42

there were some threes and then one guy said two

0:15:420:15:44

cos he just thinks it's funny. Right, so...

0:15:440:15:46

CROWD LAUGHS

0:15:460:15:48

..Charlotte, who do you think lied and who's about to get pied?

0:15:480:15:53

It's time to Pie the Supply!

0:15:530:15:55

-ANNOUNCER:

-Pie the Supply!

0:15:550:15:58

It's a tense time.

0:15:580:15:59

Ohhh...

0:15:590:16:01

Number two, I wouldn't worry about taking your glasses off.

0:16:010:16:04

CROWD: OHHHHHHHH...

0:16:060:16:08

Gently, gently, catchee monkey,

0:16:080:16:10

who's getting pied?

0:16:100:16:13

CROWD YELLS AND GASPS

0:16:130:16:16

-Oh! Ooh!

-Yep.

0:16:160:16:18

Oh, it's a brutal pie-ing!

0:16:180:16:20

A good pie-ing, that.

0:16:200:16:22

Don't forget, if you both get it wrong, there is a punishment.

0:16:220:16:27

Harriette, it's time for you to Pie the Supply!

0:16:270:16:29

-ANNOUNCER:

-Pie the Supply!

0:16:290:16:33

Nice and gently, but do get it right in the face.

0:16:330:16:36

CROWD: Ohhhhh...

0:16:360:16:38

CONTESTANTS: Ohhhh...

0:16:380:16:43

-Oh!

-Yes!

0:16:430:16:45

I don't know!

0:16:490:16:51

Well done.

0:16:510:16:52

You got some, uh, 3.145 in your face.

0:16:520:16:55

HA-HA-HA!

0:16:550:16:57

What is wrong with you lot?!

0:16:570:16:59

CROWD CHEERS AND WHOOPS

0:16:590:17:03

-Good, that.

-That was a great gag.

0:17:030:17:05

About time!

0:17:050:17:06

Right, so, OK, would the real supply teacher please step forward?

0:17:060:17:12

-WHISPERING:

-Come on, come on, come on...

0:17:120:17:14

-Oh!

-No!

-No!

0:17:140:17:17

-No!

-ARRRGH!

0:17:170:17:20

Because both of you failed,

0:17:230:17:24

our supply teacher now has the chance

0:17:240:17:28

to pie one of our team captains.

0:17:280:17:30

CROWD AND CONTESTANTS: Ohhh!

0:17:310:17:34

It's time for the Teacher's Revenge!

0:17:340:17:38

Now, I would like to make something clear about this wheel.

0:17:410:17:44

We designed this game before we put identical twins...

0:17:440:17:47

THEY ALL LAUGH

0:17:470:17:51

Do you know what one's you?

0:17:510:17:52

Yeah, the one with the longer - the hair down.

0:17:520:17:54

-This is you.

-Wait till it lands on it!

0:17:540:17:58

So Charlotte's blue, Harriette is red, who's getting pied in the face?

0:17:580:18:02

Here we go.

0:18:020:18:04

CROWD: Ohhhh...

0:18:040:18:09

Oh! It's Harriette!

0:18:090:18:11

It's red, it's red!

0:18:110:18:13

-It's Harriette!

-Oh, mate!

0:18:130:18:16

Harriette, it's time for you to

0:18:160:18:17

take your revenge - come down here, it's revenge time!

0:18:170:18:21

So stand down there, Harriette.

0:18:210:18:23

-Oh, no!

-Ahh!

0:18:230:18:25

-Come on, Harriette!

-Mr Allen, please make your way.

0:18:250:18:28

CROWD: Ohhhh...

0:18:280:18:34

Ready?

0:18:340:18:35

Arrrrgh!

0:18:350:18:40

I'm so glad that wasn't me!

0:18:400:18:43

And a bonus gold star for Mr Allen as well!

0:18:430:18:46

-Eyy!

-Wheyy!

-Woo!

0:18:460:18:48

Time now for Tune In!

0:18:530:18:55

-ANNOUNCER:

-Tune In!

0:18:550:18:57

This is a musical round where two members of each team

0:18:570:19:01

will be given a song to perform using one of these beauties.

0:19:010:19:06

It's a kazoo!

0:19:060:19:08

All the remaining team member has to do is guess what song is being

0:19:080:19:12

utterly slaughtered.

0:19:120:19:13

So, Charlotte, you're up first.

0:19:130:19:16

Who do you want to join you when you're playing your wee kazoo?

0:19:160:19:20

Hmm, I think I'm going to go for Sam.

0:19:200:19:22

OK, Charlotte and Sam, before you make your way up,

0:19:220:19:24

I've prepared something pretty special for your walk.

0:19:240:19:27

HE PLAYS STRICTLY COME DANCING THEME ON KAZOO

0:19:270:19:29

-STRICTLY ANNOUNCER:

-Please welcome to the floor,

0:19:290:19:31

Charlotte and her kazoo partner, Sam Nixon.

0:19:310:19:34

Yay!

0:19:370:19:38

OK, Suzi Ruffell,

0:19:400:19:41

your time starts when you flip over your first flippy thing -

0:19:410:19:44

so in your own time.

0:19:440:19:46

-No idea!

-Aw!

0:19:520:19:54

Next one.

0:19:540:19:55

-Do the hands as well!

-Easy, easy.

0:19:550:19:57

-Oh, Single Ladies!

-Yay!

0:19:580:20:00

SHE HUMS ALONG

0:20:070:20:11

Ah!

0:20:150:20:16

# You're gonna hear me roar... #

0:20:160:20:18

Yay!

0:20:180:20:20

# You can't stop the feeling... #

0:20:260:20:28

-Yay!

-Yeah!

0:20:280:20:30

-Oh, Gangnam Style!

-Yay!

0:20:340:20:37

-Very good!

-That was good!

-That was good!

0:20:370:20:40

Well done!

0:20:400:20:41

-Sit back down. Sit back down.

-Very good.

0:20:410:20:44

Right, Harriette, out of Ray and Mark,

0:20:440:20:46

who do you want to be joining you on the kazoo?

0:20:460:20:49

Hmm...

0:20:490:20:50

-Mark.

-Mark.

-Yep.

0:20:500:20:52

Guys, fear not, listen to this.

0:20:520:20:55

HE PLAYS STRICTLY THEME ON KAZOO

0:20:550:20:56

-STRICTLY ANNOUNCER:

-Please welcome to the floor,

0:20:560:20:59

Harriette and her kazoo partner, Mark Rhodes.

0:20:590:21:01

OK, Ray, your time begins when you flip over your first flippy thing.

0:21:070:21:10

In your own time, mate, take it away.

0:21:100:21:13

Firework!

0:21:160:21:17

Yes! These boys are good.

0:21:170:21:18

Er...

0:21:260:21:27

-..Let It Go.

-Yes!

0:21:270:21:28

Rolling In The Deep.

0:21:350:21:36

-Oh!

-Aw!

0:21:360:21:37

Er, nope, not a clue.

0:21:430:21:44

Get the high notes!

0:21:500:21:51

BELL RINGS

0:21:560:21:58

Oh! Ha-ha-ha!

0:21:590:22:01

Oh, i-is it Chandelier?

0:22:040:22:06

Yes!

0:22:060:22:07

APPLAUSE

0:22:070:22:08

Yes! Bonus gold star there for me.

0:22:110:22:13

THEY ALL LAUGH

0:22:130:22:15

OK, I can reveal that at the end of that round, the gold star goes to...

0:22:150:22:21

..Charlotte's team!

0:22:210:22:22

-Yes!

-Whey!

0:22:220:22:23

APPLAUSE

0:22:230:22:24

Woohoo!

0:22:240:22:26

Time now for the School Run!

0:22:290:22:32

-ANNOUNCER:

-The School Run!

0:22:320:22:34

Yes, it's a wheely race around the studio on tricycles.

0:22:340:22:37

The team's job, to drop my little brother and sister off at school.

0:22:370:22:42

You can see the family resemblance.

0:22:420:22:44

CRASH!

0:22:460:22:47

CROWD LAUGHS

0:22:470:22:49

OK, the first team to drop everyone off at school

0:22:490:22:52

and make it home first are the winners.

0:22:520:22:54

Guys, are you ready to go?

0:22:540:22:56

Eat my dust!

0:22:560:22:57

Yes, I am.

0:22:570:22:58

CROWD LAUGHS

0:22:580:23:00

Are you good to go?

0:23:000:23:01

Yep.

0:23:020:23:04

-Good trash talk.

-It's Sam versus Mark.

0:23:040:23:07

-Don't you dare!

-Then, it's twin versus twin,

0:23:070:23:10

then comedian versus comedian.

0:23:100:23:13

Who will be triumphant?

0:23:130:23:15

Your time starts in three, two, one,

0:23:150:23:18

GO!

0:23:180:23:19

CROWD CHEERS

0:23:190:23:23

Oh, no!

0:23:230:23:24

He's got an early start!

0:23:240:23:27

Yeah!

0:23:270:23:29

Yeah!

0:23:300:23:32

That's what I'm talking about!

0:23:320:23:34

Ha-ha, woo!

0:23:340:23:35

THEY ALL CHEER AND YELL

0:23:350:23:38

Woo!

0:23:380:23:40

Come on!

0:23:400:23:41

A-HA-HA-HA!

0:23:410:23:43

MR SMASH YELLS AND GRUNTS

0:23:430:23:48

Come on!

0:23:480:23:49

THEY ALL CHEER AND SHOUT

0:23:490:23:53

Is it not just the same again?

0:23:530:23:55

MR SMASH YELLS AND GRUNTS

0:23:550:23:58

Where am I going?!

0:24:030:24:05

Go on!

0:24:050:24:06

Come on!

0:24:060:24:08

We like it, we like it, we like it!

0:24:080:24:10

Go, go, go, go!

0:24:120:24:14

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

0:24:160:24:20

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

0:24:200:24:24

-MR SMASH:

-Daarrgh!

-SHE SCREAMS

0:24:330:24:35

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

0:24:350:24:37

MR SMASH YELLS AND GRUNTS

0:24:400:24:42

Oh, and here it comes round the corner.

0:24:450:24:47

CROWD CHEERS AND WHOOPS

0:24:520:24:53

No!

0:24:540:24:56

He's a cheat, Sam's a cheat!

0:24:560:24:59

Go on, Ray!

0:24:590:25:00

-Go, go, go, go, go, go!

-Go on, Ray!

0:25:000:25:03

Get the baby!

0:25:030:25:05

-Go, go, go!

-Go, go, go, go, go!

0:25:100:25:13

Give me a push!

0:25:130:25:14

CROWD CHEERS

0:25:170:25:21

Stop it!

0:25:290:25:31

Go and help, go and help them, go and help them!

0:25:310:25:34

It's so close, it's so close!

0:25:430:25:47

Who's going to win?!

0:25:510:25:52

SHE SCREAMS

0:25:540:25:56

Ah!

0:25:560:25:57

CROWD CHEERS

0:25:590:26:01

AIRHORN

0:26:010:26:02

CROWD LAUGHS

0:26:040:26:06

OK, at the end of that

0:26:060:26:07

round, the gold star goes to Charlotte's team!

0:26:070:26:10

CROWD CHEERS

0:26:100:26:13

And that's just about it, all I need to do now is add up the stars.

0:26:200:26:25

Oooooooooh...

0:26:250:26:32

CROWD: Oooooh...

0:26:320:26:34

And today's winners are...

0:26:340:26:36

..Charlotte's team! Yay!

0:26:370:26:38

CROWD CHEERS

0:26:380:26:41

Woohoo!

0:26:410:26:42

Nooo!

0:26:420:26:43

Congratulations, you get to go home

0:26:430:26:46

with at least some of your dignity intact.

0:26:460:26:48

As for Harriette's team, not only does the dog eat your homework

0:26:480:26:52

but you get detention with Mr Smash.

0:26:520:26:54

It's time to do the Walk of Shame.

0:26:540:26:57

# La la la la la la

0:26:570:26:58

Losers!

0:26:580:26:59

# La la la la la la

0:26:590:27:00

Losers!

0:27:000:27:01

# La la la la la la

0:27:010:27:02

Losers!

0:27:020:27:03

# La la la la la la

0:27:030:27:04

Losers!

0:27:040:27:05

# La la la la la la

0:27:050:27:06

Losers!

0:27:060:27:07

-# Losers. #

-Losers

0:27:070:27:09

So that's your lot.

0:27:090:27:11

As ever, we probably didn't learn much, but it was fun trying.

0:27:110:27:15

See you all next time on...

0:27:150:27:17

-CROWD:

-The Dog Ate My Homework!

0:27:170:27:21

Sees ya!

0:27:210:27:23

CROWD CHEERS

0:27:230:27:25

Two teams fight it out to dodge detention. Iain Stirling is joined by child team captains Charlotte and Harriette and special guests Sam Nixon, Mark Rhodes, Suzi Ruffell and Ray Bradshaw, who battle it out in a series of hilarious rounds and challenges.


Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS