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This is Sapphire, Johnny, Frank and Elektra.
I've dragged in a few of my old friends
-from The Dumping Ground days...
..to help me with a project I'm doing on healthy eating at my catering college.
We've all chosen our favourite recipes and shoved them into a hat
for another person to select at random and make the meal.
So, the person who suggested the recipe is going to stand
and criticise them heavily while they cook.
Although I'm cooking today, so there'll be
no criticising to be done!
Hat, hat, hat, hat, hat, hat, hat!
OK, so, it's my turn to choose. I'm going to choose...
Sapphire's Spectacular Stir Fry.
So, Saph, tell us about your recipe.
Well, pure and simple, it tastes great, fantastic textures,
delicious and savoury and the colours in it
remind me of my bedroom walls in The Dumping Ground.
Very colourful! So, you'd better do it right, that's all I'm saying.
-This will be the best stir fry you've ever tasted.
-Go for it!
Right, we're going to go away and come back and make sure
the food's all prepped so this doesn't become a show about chopping garlic.
-Though I'd watch that.
-What do you mean?!
-It'd be relaxing!
ALL TALK AT ONCE
Ta-da! Right, here it is.
So, two tablespoons of sunflower oil, four spring onions cut into
4cm lengths, we have one crushed garlic clove,
one cm of fresh ginger - that's chopped and peeled -
there's one carrot...
-What are you doing?
-Yeah, are you trying to put everyone to sleep?
Right, excuse me, this is my project
and that's how they talk on all the cookery shows, so zip it.
You should be heating the oil.
I was going to heat the oil!
OK, cos it has to be hot, but only cook it
for a minute because if it all goes brown, I am not eating it.
How about all of you take a nice big step back? Yeah? Thank you!
Wait till it's hot, though.
Now, the ginger, the spring onions and the garlic goes in
for one minute, because what will happen? It'll all go brown.
Is there an echo in here or something?
It helps if the person you're cooking for isn't a whinge bag.
-Right, it's nearly time to add the first bit.
-The oil should be hot enough now.
-Oh, thanks for that, Saph.
Do you know what? Having spent a year and a half in catering college, I wouldn't have known.
-I would not have known(!)
Right. That should be...
Stir it, then.
I'm just playing!
Do you know what, I was going to tell you how much I missed you,
but now I'm not so sure.
-Oh, no, please, don't get all emotional.
So, we're going to zip through it now, and we're going to show you
just the cookery steps so you can see how easy it is with all the prep done.
So, reduce the heat to medium
and then you add the carrots...
..the baby corn and the peppers.
And after two minutes, they're done perfectly.
-Now it's time for the courgettes and sugar snaps.
-Oh, more veg?!
-Yeah, this is crazy healthy!
-Well, what can I say? My body's a temple!
OK, so you want to keep those colours vibrant,
toss the ingredients from the centre of the wok to the side,
just keep them moving.
-I've seen better.
Hey, guys, I know what I'm doing.
Then after three minutes...
You add your water...and then you add your two tablespoons
of hoisin sauce and your two of low-salt soy sauce.
Same taste - just better for you.
And then, after you've done that,
you turn the heat back up for two minutes.
You would serve this with rice or noodles,
which are found in microwaveable packets everywhere.
And there you have it - a quick, easy, fun and fabulous healthy meal,
and even though you've done all the prep yourself,
it's made in under 30 minutes.
Let's try it.
-Bit of rice.
Mm. We'll make a cook of you yet. Mm!
Lily, you should've spent a little more time cooking
in the house and a little less time winding everyone up.
Where's the fun in that?!
Anyway, see you next time for some more awesomeness in the kitchen.
ALL TALK AT ONCE
Elektra's Fantastic Fruit Kebabs.
My kebabs are amazing and fast.
I don't have time for messing about!
Internet-based T-shirt design companies do not run themselves.
I want food to be like that - bam! Ready.
I want food to be so fast, if you put it in the microwave,
-you go back in time.
-OK, we get it. It's quick!
Well, then, why aren't we jump cutting? Come on, people! Jump cut!
Fruit, chocolate, cream, butter and...an orange for the zest.
-Please, Elektra, do the ingredients properly.
I don't have time for grams and amounts. I've already moved on.
Frank, prepare the fruit.
You'd get a really good mark-up on these if you sold them.
Are you still trying to make fast money, Frank?
I thought your business course was teaching you how to do it properly?
-No, seriously, how much do you think you would get with it?
Hands off the chocolate!
-So, take out the stalks...
..and cut in half if it's too big.
Great. Go on! No time for talking.
Keep cutting the strawberries, Frank!
-We can make...
..a mango hedgehog!
A mango hedgehog! Frank, mate, you're a genius!
A mango genius.
We're not going to bother showing you how to cut a banana.
Although, when preparing it in advance,
squeeze lemon juice over it to stop it from going brown.
-But you know this isn't actually cooking, right?
-You're just chopping up fruit.
-I'm melting chocolate, actually.
Stirring warm things together is considered cooking.
And so what, anyway?
I mean, you've got your five a day,
vitamins and minerals and fibre,
and a little bit of chocolate and cream, because we deserve
a little bit of chocolate and cream in our lives every now and again.
Don't we, Sapphire?
Fruit and veg is better for you when you haven't cooked it as much.
This fruit happens to have chocolate sauce on it,
which is considered cooking, thank you very much.
Frank, show 'em the sauce.
Um...we haven't made the sauce.
-Well, we'd better jump cut, then.
-I think so.
Kebab done, sauce on.
Slightly boiling water underneath,
and broken up chocolate bits in a bowl on top, not touching the water.
It's really important that the bowl isn't touching the water.
And only stir it occasionally,
otherwise it'll turn into something like shoe polish.
Remember that bit where Lily said that Frank was cooking?
Frank is heating up the cream, butter,
orange juice and orange zest.
You are such a control freak, like, you haven't changed a bit.
I am not! You just can't let the cream boil! Here, let me do it.
Just keep stirring it and then you pour it into the chocolate.
-Yeah, is it supposed to look like that?
Should have let me do that bit!
-Lily, can we edit this bit out?
-Um, yes. Shall we do it again?
It should be...smooth and glossy.
Well done, Elektra.
I'm just going to pour it on...
Spread it out...and then, leave it to cool.
-Yeah, looks pretty good.
But you still haven't said why you chose it.
Because I never made it for anyone at The Dumping Ground.
But if I was there now,
this is exactly the kind of thing I would make for everyone.
Everyone in the kitchen, having a laugh,
getting chocolate everywhere, basically ruining everything.
But it would be a lot of fun.
-So, here's to The Dumping Ground. Go on, Saph.
-To The Dumping Ground!
So where are we going to sell these?
Frank, we are not selling my kebabs!
-I will be doing...
-Lily's Fabulous Fishfingers.
You are going to love these. OK, everyone? Jump cut!
Yeah, very funny, guys! Shall we try this again?
One, two, three - jump cut!
All right, so I'm going to be making the breadcrumbs,
whilst my assistant is sorting out the fish.
-What's wrong with fishfingers from the shop, anyway?
I used to live on them.
I made them for my sisters and on the DG, but then I saw someone actually make them
on a cooking show and I thought I'd give them a try,
and when I did they were unreal,
so, it just...it makes me think of getting through the bad times and...
Oh! I'm sorry - I thought you were finished!
-You're still sentimental, then, Johnny.
-Oh, you know it!
-All right, who's ready for some more noise?
If you don't have a food processor, you can grate the bread.
Johnny's doing that while I'm patting the fish down
with kitchen paper to make sure it's dry,
and then cutting them into strips, 2cm by 8cm.
And make sure that you've checked for bones as well. All right.
And now we need everything lined up cos this next bit's fun.
Assembly-line jump cut!
-All right! Are you ready?
Assistant, fish strip.
Thank you very much!
Right, so, lightly coat the fish strip in flour and black pepper,
plus garlic and paprika as well if you want,
-and then shake off the extra.
-Then you've got to dunk it in the egg.
And then dunk it in the breadcrumbs and make sure it's all covered.
-That's it. Make sure you haven't missed anything.
-There you go.
-OK. Assistant, jump cut.
-Do your own jump cut!
We've just washed our hands cos we've been handling raw fish. OK.
These babies need to sit in the fridge for ten minutes.
-There you go. See you in ten, little fishes.
So, these have had time to chill for a while now,
so the breadcrumbs should be nice and set. Lily, my assistant...
You've really got to stop doing that!
..had already turned on the oven,
so it should now be preheated to 200 degrees.
OK, kitchen assistant Lily, please can you pass me the baking tray?
Now, kitchen assistant Lily, please can you pass me the cooking tongs?
-Oh, sorry, Johnny!
-No worries. All right.
Now you can transfer the fishfingers over to the baking tray
and give them a little drizzle of oil.
And then...oven gloves.
Into the oven for six minutes.
Big fat time lapse!
-All right, OK.
So after six minutes, you need to flip your fishfingers over
and then just stick them in for another six minutes.
Okey dokey! Awesome.
Right, so, you can serve them with sweet potato wedges and peas,
or just dunked in ketchup.
They are kitchen assistant Lily's Fabulous Fishfingers!
ALL TALK AT ONCE
-I'm going to try one. Ready? Are you ready for this, Johnny?
Better be good.
-Mm! Very good. Very good, although I do quit as assistant.
No, you're good at this.
-You should definitely come and cook for the Army.
-Oh, there's a job!
So, happy cooking, guys! I hope that you've all enjoyed...
Do you think that that's too much ketchup?
ALL TALK AT ONCE
Thief! Ketchup thief!
I am making...
-..Frank's Magic Meatballs with Special Sauce.
-Hey, isn't that the special sauce that you walked out of Touch the Telly for?
Yeah, we were all fighting for our right to watch
a football match over that dumb talent show,
-and you left us a man down because of that special sauce.
The special sauce that you begged Mike to tell you
-the ingredients for and he never did.
I experimented and got very close.
Yeah. And it took you how long?
-Oh. I don't know about this. Can I pick another one?
OK, so we have all the ingredients. Excellent.
Don't you think you should...
I am not pointing to an egg and saying, "Ooh, we've got an egg!"
There's a recipe card. Anyone watching can play this back.
-That being said, why do I need cream crackers?
-Don't question the master.
You let me know when he shows up. Johnny, do you want to help?
Um, so if you could just hold the tea towel
while I bash it with a rolling pin, that would be great.
Actually, I think...you do it.
I think it's dead now.
Johnny, you've gone all pale!
This is fun! OK!
So, we're going to put the dead crackers,
a pinch of herbs and an egg into the bowl.
And then with clean hands...
-Go on - get in there, Saph!
-Kind of weird!
Do you know, I work in a design studio now,
so this is giving me some crazy ideas.
OK, so, with a spoon, you just get a little spoonful,
put it in your hand and roll it up.
And you should make 16 little meatballs.
-I'll do that.
Meatballs are done.
Just going to wash my hands.
It's very important when you've been handling raw meat.
-16 meatballs in the fridge for 20 minutes.
-There you go.
20 minutes, my friend.
-So exactly how long did you manage to touch the telly for?
-About two hours.
-Two hours. Absolutely no willpower whatsoever.
You know what,
I reckon I could touch this microwave for longer than that.
-You are on.
-Excuse me! Tomato sauce?
It's already in the pan.
You add the oil to the pan and then put in the onions
and the carrots and the garlic, and you fry them for about six minutes
or until it looks soft but not brown.
I'm standing right here.
So add the tomato...the puree.
Salt and pepper, please. Thank you.
You just mix that all up,
leave it to cook on a low heat for about 15 minutes.
So, add about a tablespoon of oil to the pan.
There we go.
Put the meatballs in and leave them to cook for a few minutes
over a medium heat.
Make sure you do this every 30 seconds or so,
so then it means that they're evenly cooked and you don't end up
squishing them with the spatula.
Prepped in 20 minutes, made in half an hour, and you were nervous?
I don't know what you mean!
So, Frank, did it really take you six months to work out this recipe?
Not really. I e-mailed Mike.
Guys, how long have I been touching the microwave for now?
-Just half an hour.
-Well, can you pass me some over?
No! Have some willpower, Johnny!
ALL TALK AT ONCE
Seriously, come on, please!
And she's chosen...
-Johnny's Busting Breakfast Omelettes.
I love this omelette!
I love eggs, I love tomatoes, I love cheese and ham...
Oh, Elektra's vegetarian, so...might have to adapt it.
-Yeah, I'm vegetarian.
-Guys, do you know what time it is?
-Ooh! Lovely ingredients. Keep 'em coming, people.
So you've got to start by cutting the tomato in half.
You have to remove the seeds and juice as well.
It's the only bit of fuss in the entire recipe,
but seeds and juice have no place in my omelette.
You have to hike ten miles on this in the Army.
-They give you powdered eggs as well.
-Oh, what's that taste like?
Like you've powdered an egg.
Johnny, tell the guys watching why you chose this.
Right, so, Sapphire had just left The Dumping Ground...sorry, Saph!
But everyone else was still there, and we really wanted this new computer,
so we ended up doing this ridiculous task where we each had to look after
a raw egg, and if by the end of the day, we still had our eggs,
Mike was going to buy us the computer, but we all broke our eggs.
We tried to fool him by getting new ones.
-Did not work.
Right, so now, you need to beat the eggs into the bowl.
Now, for this, you just want to gently use the work surface.
-Er...can I have a little less eggshell in mine, please?
Now, add a pinch of salt and pepper.
-Add the milk.
Right, now, break up the yolks with the fork.
Just mix it all up, and then beat in the eggs with the milk,
make sure that it's all the same consistency, same colour.
All right, soldier boy! I know what I'm doing!
-Next, we heat up the pan, right?
-And then add in the butter.
Oh, which one is the butter, again?!
So you put that in and make sure that it's evenly spread
and it's got to be hot, and then next, pour in the mixture...
..and give it a little jiggle... so it's evenly spread out.
-Cook for two minutes.
-Frank, I need you.
Hello. While you were away,
Johnny admitted how much better I am at this than he is.
-Um..no, I didn't.
OK, so our two minutes is up,
so I'm going to add the tomatoes
and most of the cheese and parsley.
Keep working the edges.
So how about I put the ham just on this side
so that the other side is still vegetarian and you can try some?
OK, so now...we tip the omelette off slowly and tilt it
so that it folds in half.
Man, am I looking forward to this! Stand aside, civilians.
Finish it off with cheese and parsley sprinkled on top.
Oh, looking good.
Do you want me to put it on a camouflaged tablecloth
-so you feel better?
Seriously, though, nothing beats fresh eggs.
-Seriously, you should try some.
Mm. Wow! Mm!
-Elektra, you just ate ham.
-Uh-oh! Veggie expulsion!
No, it's fine!
OK. I am no longer a vegetarian.
I messed up my omelette for you!
-Does this bring it all back, Johnny? The egg challenge?
-Yeah, that was a giggle.
-Yeah, cos it feels like I missed out.
Yeah, you missed a good one.
Yeah, I really did.
Well, that was fun!
I'd like to thank my four close friends for helping me with my cooking project.
Just got to do one more thing. One more thing.
-The last lucky dip.
The person with the paper marked with the cross
has to do the washing up.
-Er, no, you're all right.
-See you later!
Guys. Guys, no... Hey, guys!