Be My Girl The Dumping Ground

-Move!

-Oi! What you doing?

-Have you seen my magazine? I really need it for my up-do.

-Up what?

-My hair - I'm doing a messy bun.

-Very on trend.

-On trend?

-Like you'd know anything about fashion.

You haven't been reading that mush, have you?

Research, bro. It's always good to know what a girl's thinking.

Er... Floss, interested in fashion, are we?

Can I have this one? Please.

Sit down.

Floss, I've just had a call from your social worker.

And that one and that one and that one.

-Do you want to come downstairs for a little chat?

-I'm busy.

Thing is, they've had a special meeting all about you

and they've decided that you can be adopted now.

-Adopted?

-Yeah. They've already matched you with a mum and dad.

She's, er... she's just on her way down.

I'm really nervous, sorry.

We've been waiting a long time.

It's a big day for everyone. Floss might be a bit...

overwhelmed, so...

Floss. This is Nerys and Doug.

-Hello, Floss.

-You're even bonnier than your photo.

THUNDER RUMBLES

I'll sort out some coffee, why don't you come through?

-Do you like it?

-Yes.

-Even the skirt?

-Honestly.

-OK.

-DOORBELL RINGS

-Can someone get the door please? >

That can't be him. He must be early.

Well, he must be keen.

He said he'd text me first.

Go. Let's go!

-Who are you?

-Who are YOU?

I asked you first.

ANGELIC CHOIR SINGS

Hi, Neil! We'd better get going, so we don't miss the film.

Wait, where are you going?

That place where they show films. The cinema.

Not the one where the human finger was found in the popcorn?

-No...way!

-Did someone get...?

You must be Neil. Carmen didn't tell us she'd invited you round.

I didn't. He just popped round.

Tee, would you do me a favour and take that to the quiet room for me?

-Thank you.

-Yeah.

Gives us a chance to get to know each other better. Shall we?

You like candy-floss... and strawberry jelly.

And your favourite colour's red.

DOOR OPENS

-Coffees.

-Thanks, Tee. Pop them there.

Right, erm... Enjoy.

I expect you've got lots of questions about us.

Dougie is a builder.

Anything you want doing. Plumbing, electrics...

But what he really likes is his fish.

-Fish?

-Tropical ones. I've got names for them all.

Do you like fish, Floss?

I like snakes.

Yes, we used to have one.

Called Mike. We know.

Apart from that, it's just Nerys and me. No kiddies, like.

Why not?

We couldn't have any.

But that's OK cos we wouldn't have found you.

So, Neil... Carmen tells us you're a bit of a sports nut, eh?

Yeah.

And, erm...what do your parents do?

My dad's a bank manager.

That's funny cos my dad's a bank robber. He's dead famous.

They're making a film about him.

-No, they're not.

-Stop being weird.

So, are you interested in... banking too?

Only in tapping the cash machines for a new guitar.

Well, there's another co-incidence.

I'm in a band, you've probably heard of us.

Our first single got a million likes.

-What first single?

-What band?

LAUGHTER

That is our house, our front garden

and that would be your bedroom.

No. It's for you.

You can see which ones you recognise when you come.

-That's lovely. Say thank you, Floss.

-Thank you, Floss.

See you tomorrow then.

Tomorrow?

Yeah. We're going to go and meet Nerys and Doug at the park.

Frank. You're a man of the world. You know about...

-birds... Chicks.

-Girls?

Yeah. Girls.

So, say, there was this person, a girl that I've got my eye on.

Carmen.

No. Not Carmen. Course not Carmen...

-Yeah...Carmen.

-It's not Carmen.

-It's Carmen.

All right, it's Carmen.

The point is, how do I make her see me like that?

Spend time with her. Do something she's interested in.

I used to dream of living in a proper house like this with Johnny.

Why don't you put this in your photo album?

With the picture Lily took.

-No, thanks.

-Look, it's here.

It's private. Go away.

How was your date with Neil?

He was banging on about riffs and chords all the way to the bus stop,

then he started doing air guitar like a complete dork.

-He was probably trying to impress you.

-Then lads are idiots.

-I am never going out with anyone so boring again.

-Yours, I believe.

-Oh... Thanks, Rick. Where'd you find it?

-Just about.

We're not all dorks. I'll take you shopping and I'll prove it to you.

Shopping, like in girlie clothes shops not record stores?

Yeah, no sweat. I'm a fashion forward kinda guy.

-Where do you get these things?

-I'll throw in a burger as well.

All right. You're on.

-I could've sworn Rick just asked you out on a date.

-Me and Rick?

Good one.

What is up with everyone today?

I can't play monsters with you tomorrow, Harry.

I am going to meet Norris and Doggie.

-Who are they?

-My new mum and dad.

-You'll keep living here though, won't you?

-Yeah.

No, you won't. Don't you know what adopted means?

Going away and never coming back.

-What, ever?

-Yep.

Hurry up, you two. Quickest out gets a story first.

Is Harry going to go before me?

Go where?

Well, he's been here longest, so won't it be his turn?

-Turn for what? I am sorry, you've lost me.

-If people want a boy,

you have to tell them they can't choose me.

You're not going to be adopted, Mo.

-Because my old mum and dad would be sad.

-Course they would.

And they wouldn't know where to write to me.

Your mum and dad are still your parents,

and they want you back very much.

-After they've had help.

-Exactly.

You're just staying here a little while, until we work stuff out.

Who's borrowed my magazine this time? Come on. I'm getting sick of this.

Every magazine I've bought in the last two weeks has gone missing.

I am not a library. So come on... who's got it? Jody?

What would I want with your lame magazine?

It hasn't gone walking about on its own, has it?

You doing another hairstyle? Do you want me to help with that, madam?

-Get off, weirdo!

-Calm down, it's not like it's a date or anything.

Yeah, it's only Rick. Who cares what you look like?

-Come on!

-Can you get on by yourself?

-Yeah.

-I'll push.

-Yeah.

-Ready?

Forwards and back with your legs, that's it. Wooohhh.

I'm not a baby.

Sorry. You've done this a lot more than we have.

What next?

"Don't text your girl back straight away.

"Real boys have always got something FAR more important to do."

"Never check your phone whilst playing football."

-What loser puts a girl before the team anyway?

-What you doing?

Bit of research for Ricardo.

From dumb websites like this? If you need that, I wouldn't bother.

It's all right. It's never going to happen anyway.

An hour with Carmen and he'll be bored out of his skull.

And there she is - the greater spotted Carmen,

rarely seen in her natural habitat.

-Oi...

-She approaches angrily, defending her territory...

Stop filming me, you div.

# I got sunshine

# On a cloudy day

# When it's cold outside

# I've got the month of May

# I guess you'd say

# What can make me feel this way?

# My girl, my girl, my girl

# Talking about my girl... #

-What's your name?

-Floss.

-Don't get sand in your ice cream.

-Floss!

-Is that your mum?

-No.

Where is she? Don't you have one?

THUNDER RUMBLES

Mum!

-What happened?

-She pushed him!

Why did you push the little boy?

That is a horrible, nasty thing to do.

-You can't go hurting other children.

-Say sorry, Floss. They're just kids.

Get him another ice cream, Dougie.

What flavour was it? Chocolate?

Are you all right, sweetheart?

Thanks...for all my stuff. Feels like it should be my birthday.

S'all right. Just cos we live in a kids' home

doesn't mean you don't deserve nice things.

That's really, erm...sweet.

Boys don't do sweet.

Sorry.

Anyway...

Yeah.

Are we going out then or what?

I suppose.

-Seriously?

-Seriously.

-You're not on the rebound from Neil?

-Neil? Who's he?

-I got a T- shirt, er, bracelet, mirror...

-Rick paid for all this?

-It wasn't that much.

-I got a new magazine. So hands off, Jody.

I've already told you. I'm not interested.

So, you two had a good time?

Yeah. Yeah, brilliant.

-Floss!

-Floss!

Floss!

Nerys, what's up?

-Floss has gone missing.

-Floss!

Floss!

Floss, didn't you hear us calling?

-Sorry.

-You never run off, OK? Let's go.

It's been 48 minutes since I've seen him. Do you think that's enough?

-What?

-My magazine said it should be an hour. Is a selfie too vain?

-What are you talking about?

-Texting Rick.

It says if I do it too soon, it'll seem like I am a clingon

but if I leave it too late, it'll seem like I don't care. Faith?

TEXT ALERT

-Who's that?

-The girlfriend.

Less is more, remember the rules.

Yeah. Good call, bro.

-How did it go?

-Not the greatest.

-LOL? LOL? And he used a smiley - that is awful.

-What's the matter?

He can't even be bothered to reply to me properly.

I think he thinks I'm really boring.

I wasn't talking to you, I'm talking to Floss.

Sorry for thinking you'd be the slightest bit interested in me.

Thanks(!) Well done(!)

-Tee, this is my relationship at stake here.

-What relationship?

-You didn't even like Rick till yesterday.

-I didn't know I did!

-You talk about boys being boring, but you are so self-obsessed.

-Me?

-Floss was so upset and you just blanked her.

-When?

-Exactly.

I pushed a little boy and everyone shouted.

And I had to say sorry.

Why did you push him, Floss?

Cos he was stupid.

OK, so maybe they shouldn't have shouted at you...

but grown-ups get it wrong too.

Like the adoption lady. Choosing Norris and Doggie.

-Nerys and Dougie.

-Next time I'm going to pick too.

What do you mean next time?

Next time I have to be adopted. Norris and Doggie won't want me now.

-Go and check on Rick.

-No.

It's been two hours and he hasn't replied to my good-morning text

and I know he's awake cos I heard him talking to Tyler.

You listened outside his door?

-How else am I supposed know what he's doing?

-Knock and ask him.

Tee, you've never had a boyfriend.

You have no idea of the pressure I'm under.

PHONE RINGS

-Guess who.

-Better take this.

You can't. It's your shot.

Mates before dates.

Unless you want to be doing makeovers and recitin' poetry.

Course not, don't be stupid.

It's all about boundaries.

-Give her some space, she'll only respect you for it.

-Chaps...

which lucky lads are going to come and help me clear out the garage?

-Is this another one of your fun jobs?

-I am not falling for it.

-Me and Rick have some time on our hands.

-Oh, great, come on!

I thought you could wear this to Nerys and Doug's today.

But I was naughty.

You didn't mean to be.

Norris said I was a horrible, nasty little girl.

She was just shocked at what you did.

They're not used to children.

But that doesn't mean they don't like you.

# Ta-dah. #

-Cool.

-See? Oh ye of little faith.

-There you go. If you clean them up, you can have them.

-Seriously?

-They've been dumped here, might as well put them to use.

-Nice.

Just needs sandpaper for the rust, oil all the parts...

Tyres are flat, we'll have to patch up the inner tubes.

Got all the kit you'll need here.

You're not ill. I think you've got butterflies in your tummy

about going to Nerys and Doug's.

I thought you two were going out?

No. Cos I'll be sick everywhere.

It's really important we keep the contact going every day.

But if she doesn't want to go...

-Tee.

-Maybe it's not right for her.

-If she keeps running away and faking being ill.

-I am ill.

Look what happened when we sent Jody back. No-one listened to her either.

That was completely different.

This is Floss's best shot at getting a proper family.

OK. Well, what if I come too?

We understand that you were testing us.

Trying to push us away so you don't get hurt.

But you won't get rid of us that easy.

Being a proper mum and dad means we stick with it, good and bad.

Like my little babies here.

We have to work out how to live together.

Sorry.

Bet you've never made play dough before.

Hey, Carmen...what's up?

You at a loose end?

Well, I thought I'd be doing something with Rick, but...

Did you arrange anything?

No. He never texted me back.

Why on earth are you texting each other?

You both live in the same house.

That's how we do it these days.

I'd just talk to him, if I were you.

Maybe you're right. Thanks, Mike.

-Do you know what that says?

-Floss.

Floss Duffy.

Guppy.

Duffy. That's our name. You could be Guffy-Duppy, er...

Duffy-Guppy...Cuppy...er...

It's a bit of a mouthful.

Food's nearly ready.

Anyway, time to get you cleaned up. Give me your hands.

Why don't we take this off as well?

-Little girls don't need nail varnish.

-No!

Not to worry, not to worry, we'll soon have this cleaned up.

Floss! What are you doing?

How can one little girl make so much mess?!

Not to worry. Not to worry. I'll clear this in no time.

-Dougie!

-It's fine, it's fine. Look, I've scooped out all the mess.

When you have finished tending to your pets,

perhaps you'd like to help me

explain to Floss why this is not acceptable behaviour!

-You can't tell me off.

-Floss.

They're not my mum and dad. I've already got a mum!

-You had a good day with your boyfriend?

-Eh?

I thought we were meant to be doing something together.

-We never arranged anything.

-We're meant to be going out.

Or can you not be bothered having a girlfriend any more?

Chill your boots, Carm. You don't own him.

I was trying to give you your space.

Space? Rick, we haven't even been on a date yet.

-It's like you don't care about my feelings at all.

-I'm sorry.

-Sorry?

It's like I'm the only one putting any work into this relationship.

-Thought it was supposed to be fun?

-Do I look like I'm having fun?

I'm exhausted, I'm starving and I've got a really bad headache.

All right. If it's such torture, what are we doing it for then?

You found him, then? Just in time to help with the clear-up.

That's not my mess!

That's a bit ungracious, isn't it?

Here, stick that lot in the recycling bin for me.

Hey, Rick, your bike looks so cool. Can I have a go?

-Jody...was this you?

-What?

You know what you did! Don't lie to me, Jody Jackson!

I've told you, I wouldn't read that rubbish for a million pounds.

-Yes, you would, cos it's mine.

-You take that back!

You're a dirty, sneaky little thief!

Hey, girls, what's going on?

Ask her! Look what she did!

I never touched it. Why does everyone blame me for everything?

Stop it! Jody didn't take it. It was me.

Floss, I don't think any of these women are your real mum.

-I know that.

-Good.

But they could be. Cos you said no-one knows who she is.

That's right.

And if she left me in the nail bar, she could come back.

If she was going to, then she would have by now, Floss.

Not if she was under a magic spell. Or captured by monsters.

No, I guess that could be a problem.

And she wouldn't know where to find me if I was with a new mum and dad.

You have to let her wait. If that's what she wants.

Suppose your mum never turns up.

And you're here for years and years.

Well, till you're as old as Frank.

Then this can be my family.

Knock knock?

What?

Look, I'm really sorry about stressing you out.

Guess all boys are idiots.

You're not an idiot.

It was me.

I know boys are rubbish at texting, that's a biological fact.

Just like all girls get over obsessed.

I just feel bad.

I didn't even realise what was going on with Floss and Tee.

It's complicated...

..you know, this relationship stuff.

I just wish things could go back to the way they were.

When they were...normal.

I do kind of miss you annoying me.

I miss you being a bossy princess.

So we're OK, then, yeah? No hard feelings.

-You're dumped.

-No, you're dumped.

I don't think so. Dumper - dumpee.

Shut up!

CHEERING

Will Floss get arrested for being a fish murderer?

I didn't murder the fish! It was an accident.

They didn't even die.

But however frustrated you get, you must never lash out.

Promise, cross my heart and hope to die.

And you still have to write a sorry letter to Nerys and Dougie, yes?

-Good girl.

-Is Floss still going to be adopted?

Don't think the pet population could stand that one.

Nope, Floss has told us loud and clear - she ain't going anywhere.

CHEERING