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-What are you doing?
-You can't come in.
I said, you can't come in.
Floss, what are you talking about?
I really like my social worker because she's friendly,
she's always there when I need her and just really good to talk to.
-I just want to watch telly.
-But you can't come in.
Don't be stupid, Floss.
-Your name's not on the list!
-Are you in the film?
-You know I'm not.
Then your name's not on the list, so you can't come in!
One of the really good things about being in care
is that there's always someone around your age to talk to.
And everyone just gets along really well.
'I'm really excited!'
I've always wanted to be in a movie.
Oh, Mike, if your idea of a movie
is a training video for social workers, you're missing out.
-Just a little bit.
Well, at least it'll bring the kids together.
Move out of the way, right now.
-I'm going to count to three,
then you will find out what "or what" means.
-You're not coming in!
-Three! Now move, or I'll thump you!
Hey! Hey! What?
It's such a waste of time.
Everyone's acting weird.
And what, you don't think social workers ought to know
-you kids can be a bit weird?
-I don't mean "Mo-weird".
OK. What's the problem?
They're being all polite! No-one's trying to cheat or thump each other.
Yeah, I know. It's great. Why don't you join in?
They're acting like they've got their brains sucked out by aliens.
Why would I want to be part of that?
I don't know, because it's fun?
I'm just going to go and get a new battery.
What's your problem?
Tyler? Tyler! What's your problem?
-What are you up to, Mr...?
-Why do you have to ruin everything?
I'd already won.
If you can't handle my pace, you'd better play a different game.
All right - come on now, calm down.
Hey, Mike, isn't it funny, when they're not being filmed,
how everything goes back to normal?
Anyone else hear that buzzing?
No? Just me! Oh, it's Jody.
I thought it was an annoying little insect ruining everything.
As per usual!
-Hey, hey, come on, you two.
-Come on, you two. No.
Have you, er, have you told them?
Um, no. Not yet.
OK, well, I need one of you to be the "face" of my film.
So I'll follow you around.
I'll try and get one person's point of view of life in care.
OK. Carmen. She put her hand up first, so...
Right, I'll just get set up and...
you know, just jeans, T-shirt, should be fine.
I don't know what you're laughing at.
I'm the star! Not you, saddos...
So. You don't want to be involved at all?
You'd rather just stand on the side and grizzle, is that it?
Yeah. What's the point of doing it? It's not going to help anyone.
What's playing cards and "name your top ten social workers"
-got to do with living in care?
-Come back here, please.
So you think this is all a waste of time?
Hmm? That everything I'm getting isn't going to help anyone?
Yeah. Pretty much.
But you look like you've got a lot to say on the subject.
So why don't you help me out, Jody?
I don't want to be filmed.
Is there any particular reason?
If you think what I'm getting is wrong, then let's work together.
Get that right.
Cos not everyone wants their face on screen, you know.
Well, maybe you can help me in another way.
Maybe you can help me...
-Why don't you have a play around with that?
I couldn't get it to work last time I had it out. And away you go.
I thought it was a better idea
-than letting him "experiment" with Sasha's kit.
-Oh, I think so, too!
Sasha wants me to make my own documentary.
With your permission, of course.
Should be fine. As long as it's what you want to do, Jody.
I don't know. I mean, me, make a film?
-I think you'd be great.
You'd really get the truth out of people.
Jody, you're never going to end up making this film.
You always give up on things.
That's not true.
Tsk! You never finish anything.
Hey, come on, you're going to be late.
-Yeah. I don't really want to do it any more.
-You're going to be late.
ECHOING AND REPEATING: I don't really want to do it any more.
-Going to be late.
-I don't want do it any more.
All right. I'll do it.
OK, right, well, you are going to need...
Thank you, guys. Come in. Settle down now, please.
Settle down, gentlemen. Thank you for joining us, young man.
Please sit down.
Hold your wheesht a while now, please. Come on, you have the floor.
I am going to make a film for social workers to watch.
Us telling them what they really need to know.
What really matters.
Well, we were already doing that.
No, you weren't.
And Sasha didn't think so either.
Sasha says the first few days of filming is just messing around.
She has to wait to get the stuff that's real.
And that's what I'm going to do.
So, Mike and May-Li have sorted it for me to use the utility room.
And I'll leave a list in the corridor for you to sign up.
OK. That's it. Thanks.
DOOR SLAMS SHUT
-Pick me, Jody.
-I want a go.
-Pick me, Jody.
-Come on, pick me!
Yeah. I guess everyone's just really busy today.
I've been waiting.
Then you're going to be waiting for a lot longer, aren't you?
-You had a lot to say to Sasha.
-Mo, do you want to get that out of my face?
-Mo, this doesn't even work.
-I'm just practising.
Do you want to be interviewed?
What happens when you walk backwards and zoom in at the same time?
Mo, it doesn't work!
-You can be my first interview! Isn't that great?
MUSIC: "Teenage Icon" by The Vaccines
# I'm no teenage icon
# I'm no Frankie Avalon
# I'm nobody's hero, oh, oh
# I'm nobody's hero, oh! #
CAMERA BLEEPS What's your name?
How long have you been in care?
No, hang on.
OK. How long have you been in care?
Jody, let's just go nuts!
Answer the question!
No, this'll be much better. We can wind people up!
Get 'em in for an interview
and then ask them really crazy questions.
-They'll love it on the internet.
-I'm trying to make a serious film.
Well, what's the point of that?
Faith, quick! Hit her with your stick.
She's trying to kill me!
Jody, I'll see you when I get back from the hospital, OK?
Any time you want.
No-one wants to be in it, anyway.
At least no-one with a brain cell does!
So, no-one's helping Jody, then?
Guess not. Maybe she should've kept her big mouth shut
and let Sasha make the film.
Oh, grow up, Carmen. What difference does it make?
What do I know?
Me? Haven't decided yet.
-Why aren't you doing it?
-I am, actually.
What about you, Floss-Floss?
Don't you want to get that gorgeous face on camera?
JODY CLEARS HER THROAT OTHERS GO SILENT
FLOSS: Hmm... Mm... No.
I liked Sasha's film.
See you later.
She's not telling me what to do.
I'm going to see Jody.
No, no, no, that's not what we talked about, is it?
So it's OK to tell ME what to do?
No, I just...
I'll tell you what you should do.
I mean, if you really want to help Jody.
Why don't you go and tell her the story about Milly and Bob.
OK. You can interview me now.
If this is a joke, Floss...
No! I really want to be in your film!
Oh, that's brilliant!
CAMERA BLEEPS Ready.
What's the first thing you remember about being in care?
Well... Once upon a time...
-Floss. Is this story really about you?
It's when I was very sad and lonely,
and needed someone to talk to.
And my friends Bob and Milly came to help me.
Floss, that sounds perfect.
OK. So let me introduce you to my friends Bob Dragon and Milly Moo.
So, Bob Dragon, would you like to finish the story?
"Yes, Floss. I would love to!"
Floss, get out!
You've ruined it! Get out!
No! I was only trying to help.
Of course you were!
I'm not EVER offering you help again!
Jody, I'll do it.
What are you going to say?
I'll just answer your questions.
OK. What's the worst thing about living in Care?
Um, I don't know. Trying to get 12 people
to decide on what to watch on TV.
No, I mean, does anything else make you really angry about living here?
Anything else wind you up?
Nothing, really. I like everyone, you know? It's nice.
-Did Carmen tell you to say that?
-No, I was just...
What you doing?
Giving the camera back. I didn't get anything to show Sasha.
It's been a complete waste of time.
We haven't even started!
I'm not going to get anything for her.
I'm just going to have to look like a complete idiot.
Look, hang on. Jody, don't give the camera back.
All you've got to do is show them how much fun we're having
and they'll be queuing up to be in the film.
How much "fun" we're having?
Yeah. Trust me. Come on!
It's not funny.
This is what happens when you give someone like Jody a camera!
What else has she got to film?
These questions are pretty smart.
For Jody's interviews.
Thought you'd want to answer some.
I haven't got anything to say.
Like I said, I just got put in care.
"Do you think your social worker listens to you?"
What's so smart about that?
Yeah, deep(!) They've got to stick around long enough to listen.
I reckon they listen to stuff THEY want to talk about.
I mean, if you want to tell them something's wrong,
they're just like, "OK, whatever, bye."
-Unless YOU'VE done something wrong.
-Oh, yeah. Then they're all over you.
What about the new ones?
They're even worse. They sit there asking us all these dumb questions
and it's like, "Why don't you just go read my file?"
I loved my first social worker.
She was really funny.
But she only stayed for a month.
I hate it when they lie to you.
Me and Tee kept on getting promised a new foster home.
And I think they just tell you what you want to hear,
so it'll shut you up for a bit.
Why don't you tell Jody that?
Yeah! I will.
Yes! Now, do you know how we're really going to make this film
really go viral?
I dunno, Tyler. Sneeze on it?
I don't care about your stupid gag reel.
I'm going to give the camera back.
Wait! We're so close to making a work of comedy genius
and then I can put it on the internet!
I wanted to make a serious documentary
about what it's like to live in care, because that matters to me.
That really matters.
I can't believe this place! I can't believe nobody would just help me.
Erm, I'll do it.
Can you wait till tomorrow, though,
so I can think about what I'm going to say?
That's cool then.
I might finally get something good.
It must be nice, being able to live with your sister.
Yeah, it's good.
But then they think we can deal with stuff, cos we've got each other.
I remember when we were younger, we got moved.
I was about ten, so Tee would have been nine.
And this place, it was really grim.
And the guy in charge didn't know anything about us.
And we were pretty upset,
cos the place we'd been before was all right, you know?
And I was trying not to show it
because I didn't want Tee to be scared.
Are you sure you don't want to stop?
So, um, yeah.
I just think that we needed someone, you know?
To tell us it was going to be all right.
Our social worker turned up.
Stayed ten minutes, then he was gone.
Just left us there.
How did you feel about that?
Like no-one cared.
There was this one time in the park that same summer.
There was a party going on
and there was this kid,
didn't want his mum to leave, so she stayed with him the whole time.
We got ten minutes.
But, hey, ah,
who wants to be that kid in the park anyway, crying his eyes out?
I mean, it's best to be tough. Strong.
Me and Tee, we're...we're strong.
What about the good stuff?
What's the best...
-It's not recording.
I don't understand. I had it all charged up.
-It wasn't recording?!
-It was ready, Johnny, I swear!
Look, just let me charge it up. We can do it again.
I don't know what happened, I swear!
Jody, look. I am sorry. I'm not doing that again. That was too hard.
No, Johnny, please! You were brilliant, Johnny, and it was...
What's wrong with it?
You didn't rewind it, did you?
Just, I got some really classic stuff last night. Did you rewind it?
You used my camera?
Yeah. You were asleep.
And what did you do afterwards, Tyler?
Did you make sure it was still charging?
Why did I even bother?!
-Johnny just told me the best stuff ever about living in care.
And it wasn't recording. And he won't do it again.
Do you want some help with the camera?
No. I need Tyler to keep his stupid hands off!
I didn't realise. And I said sorry.
No, you never.
The whole film should have been like that, Mike.
Look, you have to get the other kids to want to be involved.
Get them on your side. You still have a few hours. Yeah?
So how are you going to do that?
You mean, "How are WE going to do that?"
KNOCK ON DOOR
-HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
Can I be in your film, please?
I've got some stuff, too, now I've been thinking about it.
Me, too. I've got really good stuff.
-What's going on?
-Well, we thought about what you said.
And you're right. This is a really important film to make.
Put your name on the sign-up sheet and I'll set the camera up.
Oh! That's better.
I obviously had more influence than I thought!
You know, there's a first time for everything.
Oh, ha-ha. Very funny(!)
Oh, I see. Now you know it's going to be on telly,
you want in on the action, too?
What did you say?
It's going to be a "fly on the wall", kind of, thing.
And you never know, we might be famous.
-Who told you that?
-Well, everyone, kind of, heard Tyler telling Harry.
-And who told Tyler?
Well, I signed the paperwork on this.
This film's being made to help train social workers.
It has nothing at all to do with TV. I'm sorry.
-But why would Tyler...?
-You playing games with us, Jody?
What, so we're really going to be on TV, are we,
or is that something you said so you could get your interviews?
Give that back!
Jody, you shouldn't have misled people.
I just wanted to finish something for once.
To do a good job for Sasha.
No-one cared about that.
Her heart was in the right place, Carmen. Come on.
Give her a break, eh?
All right, guys. This needs fixing, please.
What's wrong with you lot?
Can't you see she was just acting like Miss Big Boots
-because Sasha gave her the camera to play with?
It really mattered to her.
So where's our director?
-She's just coming.
She just had some last-minute stuff to do.
Ah, perfectionist? Excellent! Can't wait to see the film!
Yeah, why don't we have a chat in the office?
KNOCK AT DOOR
I've really enjoyed filming today.
That's great, Mo.
FILM PLAYS FAINTLY
-'I loved my first social worker.'
Sorry, Mo, but I've just got to see this.
I haven't got anything to say.
-I just got put in care.
"Do you think your social worker listens to you?"
-'What's so smart about that?'
-'I reckon they only listen to stuff THEY want to talk about.'
'Yeah, when you want to tell them something that's wrong.
'they're just like, "OK, whatever, I don't really care."'
'Unless YOU'VE done something wrong.'
'Yeah, then they're all over you.'
'Today on Cooking With Care Kids!
'OK, so what you need to understand, Miss Social Worker,
'is that THIS is your average kid.
'Just a plain old cheese sandwich.
'What you need to understand is that your kid in care
'has got a bit more going on, OK?
'You might have some of this. Might even have a couple of these...'
'Yeah, and you might have a great big dollop of that!'
'A nice thick layer of some of this.'
'So now, as you see, THIS...'
'..is your Care Kid Sandwich.
'Very different to that of a normal kid.
'We don't want to be treated like plain old cheese, do we?
'Because there's so much more to us!'
'Um, are you going to eat that?'
Well done. Well done.
That's just brilliant.
Mo filmed it.
Well, yeah, obviously, but you told him to, right? For the film?
Jody. I'm so impressed.
Getting Mo to be a hidden camera like that.
You've managed to catch everybody off guard.
That's exactly what I wanted.
The film quality's not brilliant,
but I actually think that adds to the authenticity, doesn't it? Yeah.
It wasn't my idea.
I didn't have anything to do with it.
Mo got it all on his own.
I didn't even know.
I didn't get anything, all right?
I'm just a phoney.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Can I come in?
I meant what I said.
About being a phoney.
I actually think you're pretty brave.
Not taking the credit.
I know adults that wouldn't be that honest.
It's not about that.
I mean, why I didn't want to be in your film.
It wasn't because you weren't getting the truth.
So what was the reason, then?
..it's not easy when you want to be a part of something
and there's something stopping you.
Maybe you get so mad, you want to mess it up for everyone else.
I just didn't want to look like an idiot.
Jody, I'm pretty sure that you could never look like an idiot.
In my family, if you were ever the centre of attention...
..you'd soon be sorry.
Sasha! Sasha, you have to come and see this!
I just wanted you to know.
I didn't think your film was stupid.
And I'm sorry
for being such a pain.
If only you could see what we all see.
Yeah, there's no-one like me.
You should take credit for Mo's film.
He wouldn't have got that stuff without you.
Come on, Sasha! Bring Jody!
Are you coming to watch?
-OK, Jody, you have got to see this. Is it ready, Mo?
You know what she should be asking, but she's not going to,
what it's like to be a kid whose mum's just died,
or their dad's hooked on drugs
and it's not safe to live at home any more.
'Or their mum's in jail and there's no-one left to look after them.
'Is she going to ask them what it's like to be dumped in a house
'with strangers, when ten days ago you thought you had a family?
'Realising you're not normal any more.
'Cos you're that Care Kid,
'and it's always going to be like that dream at school
'where you've turned up at school in your undies.
'And everyone is staring.
'And it's just you.
'Going to ask 'em about that?
'Course she will.'
You were awesome, Jody.
That's got to be in the film, right?
You're not going to get an argument from me.
As long as you don't mind, Jody.
Yeah, why not?
-There's always air-brushing, right?
Right, now it's time for the bloopers!
MUSIC: "I Feel Love" by Donna Summer
GROANING AND LAUGHTER