Sticks and Stones The Dumping Ground

-Have you eaten already?

-No.

What are you doing?

Waiting to leave. There's too much loser-ness in that kitchen.

And I can't be having it around me today.

Well, I can't be having you fainting on the pitch,

so go and get some grub inside you. Now!

And you won't be needing those in there.

Who's taken all the raisins out of the granola again?

-Boring!

-Get a life.

No, I'm sorry, I'm getting sick of this. It happens every morning.

Ah, busted!

Carmen, there's more raisins in the cupboard.

-Yeah, right.

-Milk?

Yeah, but that isn't the point, though, is it!?

Just have something else.

No. Then she wins.

Mail for Carmen.

-Yes! It came!

-What is it?

All in good time, Tee. All in good time.

You nervous about today?

-No.

-Why would he be nervous?

There's a Premier League scout coming to his training camp.

-Awesome. Kept that quiet.

-Hitting the big time, are we?

-Yeah, right.

-Yeah, I'll see you outside, Mike.

-Hey, not so fast. You're on dishwasher duty this morning.

-Since when?

Since we made a new rota at the house meeting yesterday.

You know, the one you couldn't be bothered to turn up to.

-I still ain't doing it.

-Bailey, we have rules.

Yeah, they're your rules, not mine.

-You think you're so special.

-Sit down before I make you!

-Ooh, I'm scared(!)

-Hey! No! No! No!

I give up.

-He does my head in.

-So ignore him.

Me, I'm hard to ignore.

Hey - button it. You're not funny, all right?

In this house to go along, you got to get along.

-You listening?

-Goes for you too, Muggins.

Now, the pair of you - get out of my sight. Go on.

Go!

HE SIGHS It's like trying to talk to a brick wall.

Erm, are you sure you don't want me to take Bailey instead?

Nah, it's all right.

Maybe we should toss a coin anyway?

Can't blame a girl for trying.

Just make sure you get Viv Anderson's autograph.

-Sure.

-I mean it. This is important.

What is this, May-Li? Footballers? I mean...

You don't fancy him, do you?

Don't be an idiot. The man's a legend. Come on - league title.

Two European cups. Count them - that's two.

1979, 1980 with Nottingham Forest.

Forest? I thought you were... What do you call yourself?

-A goon?

-"er"!

-Goon-ER!

-From "Gunner"!

-Oh!

-Yeah, well, he played for Arsenal as well as Forest.

He actually played for Man U as well

but we can draw a veil over that.

Just don't come back without his autograph, yeah?

Yes, Ma'am!

If I do get it, will you start being nice to me?

Let's just say if you don't, your life won't be worth living.

Check it out!

What is that?

It's a professional nail salon kit.

-I bought it online. It's the real deal.

-Ooh!

Welcome to Carmen's world of cute cuticles and "no way!" nails.

It's got everything.

It's got extensions, fibre glass wraps, art transfers,

nail jewellery... It's got everything.

OK, I'm officially impressed.

-But you've got nails.

-We want better nails.

It's a girl thing.

MAY-LI: Rick, Frank, Johnny, Tyler - chores.

-What about them?

-What about us? We did ours yesterday.

-It's called being organised.

-It's another girl thing.

-Bailey and I are off. See you in a bit.

-Good luck, mate.

-Knock 'em dead.

-Double thumbs up.

-Cheers.

-Yeah, break a leg.

-Really?

-What? People say that.

-When are you going to grow up?

-He started it.

-I rest my case.

-I want this one.

-This one's cool.

-Careful, careful!

You can do better than that! Control it!

You're getting better now!

Now remember, ease yourself in slowly. Get a feel for things.

-Yeah, whatever.

-Do you want me to hang around?

No, I don't need no baby-sitter.

Ah, the great Bailey Wharton.

Right. OK! Stop what you're doing, gather round!

Come on in, a bit faster, please, let's go.

It's a important day, today, we've got a lot to get through.

OK, we are going to separate you into different groups today

and you are going to be assessed. So, any questions on that?

Yeah. Why are you still talking? Let's just get on with this.

Fair enough.

I will hand you over to our special guest - ex-Nottingham Forest,

Arsenal, Man United, England.

the one and only Mr Viv Anderson.

Thank you, thank you. Nice to be here.

Just remember, football's about fun and enjoyment and team spirit,

a bit of respect and team play.

Let's enjoy ourselves, have a good day.

Excellent. We'll have blues down at this end,

-greens up at this end.

-Oi! Oi! What's your name?

-Bailey.

-You need to learn some manners.

-Can I go now?

-Yeah, you just do what you want.

-Hello. Er, Mr Anderson. Would you...?

-Are you with him?

-Yeah, he's...

-I think you need to teach him some respect.

How did you get so good at this?

Teach-yourself online videos. It's pretty easy once you get into it.

Can I watch?

Please.

It's... It's not up to me, it's up to my client.

Fine by me.

All right, but not a word out of you and no touching stuff.

I mean it.

OK.

You're back early.

Yeah, Bailey didn't want me hanging around.

How was he when you left?

Himself.

Doesn't sound good.

So, did you get Viv's autograph?

-No, just a mouthful.

-Why, what happened?

Let's just say Bailey ignored my pep talk.

Have you seen the state of this bathroom?

You drew the short straw here. Can't help but notice a weird smell.

That's not funny. What are we even doing?

I don't know about you, but I'm doing as I'm told.

-No, there's got to be more to life than this.

-Than what?

Bailey might be a gob on legs,

but at least he knows what he wants from life.

-He's got direction.

-Right. Don't bite my head off for this,

but you might just sound a tiny bit jealous.

I don't know, maybe I am...

-I still hate him, though.

-Goes without saying.

Easy. He's there. He's there.

-Pass the ball!

-He's on your right. Give it to him. Give it.

Pass the ball! Pass the ball! Bailey! Pass the ball, man.

Give it him!

BAILEY LAUGHS

In case you're wondering, he is always like that, yeah.

What's this?

Fibre glass wrappings.

And what does this do?

It softens the cuticles.

-Why do you need soft cuticles?

-What happened to you not saying a word?

-There you go.

-They look amazing.

-Thank you.

-Worth every penny.

-Right, who's next?

-That would be moi.

-Well, what can I do for you?

-OK, I'm thinking Perri Shakes Drayton.

-So, long, in other words.

-Exactly.

These would look nice.

-Floss!

-Sorry.

I can't take this any more! Just go!

-What?

-Come on, Carmen, it was only an accident.

-I'm trying to run a business here.

-Please let me stay.

-No, just go!

Floss!

Whoa.

Come back here! Frank, move!

-Get her.

-Sorry, I'm kinda busy.

Floss! You are so dead!

OK, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.

Floss, you are toast! I've had enough of this! Come back!

No.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

-That's enough, young lady, come here.

-Let me go!

-Not before you tell us what's going on.

-She stole all my nail stuff.

Floss, is that true?

Hand 'em back.

And the rest.

Stay away from my stuff. Even better - stay away from me!

-Yeah, very sensitive.

-Yeah, I'm sorry, but the girl's acting weird.

-At least she's only acting.

-Well, you were born that way, weren't you?

All right, everybody, there's nothing to see here. Come on. Move along.

-Did you hear that?

-Did you see how upset little Floss was?

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

BOTH: Payback!

Hey.

-What you up to?

-Not a lot.

Can I ask you a question?

Why did you take Carmen's nail stuff?

Come on, you must know.

I don't. I really, really don't.

WHISTLE BLOWS

-What is your problem?

-I scored four goals.

-And let them score five!

-It's not my fault the defenders are rubbish.

-Nothing's ever your fault.

-Why are you always on my case?

-Because you're wasting your talent.

You've got bags of ability, but you haven't got it up here.

I've seen it with your type before, a million times.

-You OK?

-Yeah, why wouldn't I be?

-You sure?

-Yes.

Well, boys. Let's concentrate on corners and free kicks now, eh?

All right, you lads, come and help me get a ball.

-Well, that's you off the hook, Hollywood.

-What you on about?

It means you won't have to pass to anyone.

It's called a team game for a reason.

-Saying that, your type doesn't care about that.

-What's my type?

-What?

-Hmm?

I said, what's my type?!

-Hey. Calm down. Calm down.

-Bailey! Get changed.

-What?

-You heard me. You're out of here.

The thing with the cheese and ham combo is the mayo to mustard ratio.

Quantities are everything. It's almost a science in itself really.

Come on, there must be something that you want?

Like I said, I just go with the flow.

Guys, I'm sharing pearls here.

There's absolutely nothing? Zip?

All right, you want to know what I want? I want a girlfriend.

-Really? A girlfriend! That's your life ambition?

-Did I say that?

Do you know what is a good life ambition?

Learning to make mind-blowing sandwiches.

May-Li is going to be knocked out by this one.

-You and I are so different.

-What, cos you're mad and I'm not?

No, you're both mad.

You had the chance to listen,

for a true sandwich master to share his secrets, and you blew it.

No, your problem, not mine.

A girlfriend. Really?

It's getting boring, Johnny.

Just as long as it's not Tee.

-As if!

-Just checking.

I made you a sandwich.

Mmm, thanks.

Do you remember the background to Floss being in care?

Course. Why? What's up?

PHONE RINGS

Oh, just one second.

Hello, Ashdene Ridge. ..Speaking.

All right, I'm on my way.

Who was that?

Mr Jenkins. Bailey's been shown the door.

How about itching powder?

Nah, too old school.

OK, we lock Carmen in a room

and you threaten to re-design her whole wardrobe

unless she manicures my toes.

It's called a pedicure, Tyler. And how exactly is that a punishment?

My feet are really smelly.

Why do you draw those?

Well, my dad liked skyscrapers.

You remember stuff like that?

Mm-hm.

-Can I draw something?

-Yeah.

What are you trying to draw?

-Me when I'm older.

-Excellent.

-Now you can see what you look like.

-Excellent.

Older people have more wrinkles.

I'm not really old in this.

Oh. Are you going to colour it in?

Don't know.

You should. Colour suits you.

That looks tall.

Tallest in the world.

Wow.

I'm going to live in a skyscraper one day.

Everything looks better from up high.

Why won't you tell me what happened?

Eh?

Suit yourself.

-How'd it go?

-In three words, he blew it.

I can see you didn't break any legs.

Must mean you're not as good as you thought you were, eh?

KNOCK ON DOOR

Bailey.

Go away.

-Sorry, didn't catch that.

-I said go away.

Thought so.

-What you doing?

-Ignoring you.

-Faith, seriously.

-Seriously nothing. I'm not afraid of you.

After everything I've been through recently, you don't even come close.

Now tell me what happened. Tell me!

It doesn't matter.

Tell me.

Mr Jenkins...

What about Mr Jenkins? What did he do to you?

It's what he called me...

EVIL LAUGHTER

Are they still in that office?

Yep. 20 minutes and counting.

-Yeah, well, maybe they're finally getting rid of him.

-About time.

Change the record, guys.

NAILS DRUMMING

What about a spider in her handbag?

-Tee, can you stop that? That's really annoying.

-Sorry.

Honestly, though, how good are those nails? That glue's incredible.

It can stick anything.

-What?

-I've got an idea.

Mike, he shouldn't be allowed to get away with that.

I can't quite take this in. I'm going to go round there now.

Mike, calm down a minute.

We need to be sure we're right.

Bailey, are you absolutely certain

that's what Mr Jenkins said to you?

What Faith said?

There is no question.

I'm sorry, Faith, we need to hear it from Bailey.

Bailey?

Maybe I misheard Mr Jenkins.

Did you?

No.

This is all my fault. I know I let you down.

No, you didn't. I knew I shouldn't have said nothing.

-You can't run away from this.

-I'm not running.

I'm black. This stuff happens.

-I'm sure this has happened to you before.

-No. Not really.

Oh.

Well, I can wind him up sometimes...

You wind up everyone, Bailey. That does not justify what he said.

Faith's right.

-The only one with a problem here is him. Is that clear?

-I suppose.

Is that clear?

100 percent.

-Where are you going?

-Where do you think?

-It's going to be all right.

-Like you know for certain.

I'm never telling you anything ever again.

Snitch.

Still here, then?

Not now, yeah? Not now.

Mr Milligan? Did Bailey leave something behind?

He told me what you called him.

Well, whatever that lad said, it's a lie.

Bailey may be many things - obnoxious, cocky,

a right royal pain in the backside, but he's no liar.

Well, then he's obviously misunderstood me.

You can't misunderstand THAT word.

OK. OK, I lost my temper.

But you didn't hear the way Bailey spoke to me.

I hear it every day. Doesn't make it OK.

It's never OK.

OK. So what happens now?

You need to talk to the league about that. It's out of my hands.

-Can I have a word?

-Yeah, sure.

-Sorry about the way I spoke to you earlier.

-It's OK.

It happens a lot with Bailey.

Sticking up for him still, eh?

It's my job. No-one messes with my kids.

No-one!

-CARMEN:

-Floss!

Still at it?

I can't get the hair right.

-Do you want some toast, Floss?

-OK.

Looks somebody got up out of the wrong side of the bed.

Do you think this is funny?

-Hey!

-Not so funny now, is it!

-Carmen!

-What do you think you're doing?

She stole my nail stuff again and now she's glued me to my bed sheet!

Nice one.

-She didn't do it.

-We did it.

-Cos we thought you needed taking down a peg or two.

-Or sticking down!

Floss, I'm so sorry.

Floss, love, come with me. Yeah?

I will deal with you three later.

So, can you fly with that cape?

-Are you sure you're OK?

-Yeah. Wasn't a brilliant picture anyway.

Floss, I need to talk to you about something.

Something that happened to you when you were very young.

Is it about my mum?

How did you know?

When you were 18 months old, well, a baby really,

your mum took you to a nail bar.

Like Carmen's?

In a way.

-What happened?

-I'm not sure.

All I know is, one day, she said she had to make a phone call...

..and then she left you in the shop.

And never came back for me?

No.

Is that why I like Carmen's stuff?

Probably. The smells, the equipment must've brought back some memories.

Phew. I just thought I was going mad.

Thanks.

I taped it back together. Look, you can hardly see the tear.

Floss, I really am sorry for being mean to you.

-It's a good drawing, by the way. Who's it meant to be?

-No-one.

-Really? It looks a bit like you.

-I said it's no-one.

Fair enough.

-Hey, I can paint your nails for you if you want.

-OK.

-Come on.

Can I have those little diamonds?

Yeah, go on, then.

-And extensions?

-Don't push it.

Are you still mad at me?

You know yesterday when I cried? Will you keep it a secret?

I'm not even going to answer that.

Cheers.

Can I ask you something?

-Why did you tell me? Is it because I'm black as well?

-You reckon?

-I just wondered.

-Cos you're a friend.

-I guess that's a secret as well.

-I'm not even going to answer that.

THEY LAUGH

Fancy a kickabout?

Nah. I'm done with that, man.

That's a shame.

-On your feet.

-What?

-On your feet.

I thought you were done. Remember, Bailey, the moment you quit,

the bigots and the racists win. I went through this many years ago.

I think speaking out the other day, you did very well for yourself.

-Well done.

-Viv reckons you deserve another chance.

In a couple of weeks' time, he's going to come watch you play again.

Yes!

Listen, stop the big-time-Charlie. Remember, it's all about the...

The team always comes first.

I listened.

Er... Mr Anderson, do you want a cup of tea?

Or an energy drink. Or something else.

-A tea would be nice. You must be May-Li.

-Er...

You'll have to forgive her, she doesn't get out very often.

-I heard you wanted an autograph. Will this do instead?

-Aaahhh...

-Can somebody show me around?

-Sure.

Yeah, I'll catch you later.

He gave me his shirt!

Yeah, I know.

So, um, you ready to give the beautiful game another go?

Yeah, definitely.

Thanks, boss.

You're a legend.

Now, tell me that isn't better than any football shirt.

-Are you going to wear it?

-I'm going to frame it.

-You've got to wear it.