Fake It to Make It The Dumping Ground


Fake It to Make It

Drama series. Carmen gets a chance to be a TV presenter and impress a celebrity, but the catch is that she has to prove how much science she knows.


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Transcript


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This one?

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-This one?

-Carmen, is that a belt or is that a skirt?!

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You see, now you're starting to sound like Mike.

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Look, if you want to be a Face Of The Future

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-then you need to have the right look.

-OK.

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-Look striking!

-No.

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No, something...sophisticated.

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Look, with this you will totally style out the audition.

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Mm, yeah. The world is my lobster.

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Well, you're going to need to get the job first.

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I will. I can feel it, it's going to lead to things.

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Whatever. Come on it's film night.

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Shh!

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Wait for us.

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-You can't see.

-Shh!

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Maybe you need your eyes tested?

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Maybe you should get your nose tested for being too pokey.

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ALL: Shh!

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I'll see you tomorrow. It's Carmen Howle.

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-"Carmen Howle?"

-I've booked her in at the optician.

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Oh, have you told her this?

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She needs eye care. You are her carers.

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I've done the hard work.

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I'm not getting my head bitten off.

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Someone's will have to break it to Carmen.

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Break what to me?

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That smells good!

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-They are roasting hot!

-Ooh, cookies!

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No, no, no, no, no!

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Tell me that's not today's!

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Oh, my newspaper!

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Oi, oi! Back of the queue, squirts.

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'Scuse me, 'scuse me!

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-No, Mo, can you take that up to Carmen, please?

-Why me?

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Because you're the only I can trust not to nibble it on the way up.

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Go my friend, go.

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SHE SIGHS

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Join the club!

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I'm not joining the specky dork club!

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You haven't got dressed yet?

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Come on then.

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Tee, I'm not going.

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Don't be silly! The world's your lobster, remember?

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Yeah, well, not in these it isn't.

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Wow!

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-You look...different.

-What?

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Thanks!

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Carmen, I meant it in a good way!

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You're going to storm it, I know it.

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Don't be silly, you'll be fine.

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GIRL SOBS

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Carmen Howle?

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-It's you!

-OK, how do I look?

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-Brilliant.

-Promise?

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I said, Carmen Howle!

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Good luck.

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Hey, they're pretty.

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So, why the glum faces, eh?

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We're feeder bottoms.

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Bottom feeders.

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Oh, nonsense.

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You're just as important as anybody else in the house.

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And you've got something nobody else has.

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-What?

-Each other.

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Twins are very special, you know.

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How did they do that?

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They're telepathic.

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Tele what?

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They can read each other's minds.

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Finished with that? Good.

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THEY SIGH

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You do realise that if we were telepathic,

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we wouldn't be bottom feeders any more.

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Have you got a plan?

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Look into camera. Snap, snap!

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Dallas? Hi!

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Yes, it's going great. I've seen some wonderful candidates already.

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Super keen and super smart. You're going to love them.

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Yes! OK, I'll see you tomorrow.

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Ciao, ciao.

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Great! OK, come on! I haven't got all day.

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Read what's on the prompter.

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-Read?

-Well, you can read?

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Face For the Future is a government campaign to motivate young people?

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That's so cool.

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OK.

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Er...

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Hello, my name is...

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"Insert name?"

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Oh, no, no! Wait, wait! No, sorry. I see, I see.

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Really, really sorry.

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Er... Hello, my name is Carmen Howle and...

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..I like you...

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That's enough.

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No, please. Come on, I can do better.

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-Wait! She just needs these.

-I'm behind schedule as it is.

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-Please! She can do this.

-There is no point.

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It's obvious your friend hasn't got what it takes.

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Hello, my name is Carmen Howle and I, like you,

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am part of the next generation.

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The future is in our hands.

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I'm ready for that challenge, are you?

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Are...are you just going to sit around on the sofa

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and just expect things to happen for you?

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Well, guess what, they won't.

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You've got to get up and you've got to make the most of who you are

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and what you want to be.

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Maybe you do have something.

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And this geek chic you've got going on is good.

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It's going to sell the science.

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OK, your recall is tomorrow, three o'clock,

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and we'll want you to demonstrate these science experiments.

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OK?

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Yeah, thank you.

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< Do you want to go to the park or the cinema?

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< Good choice.

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< What do you want to see?

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Yeah, I've heard that's amazing in 3-D.

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No, don't ask any of the others. We'll go by ourselves.

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Who, er... Who are you talking to?

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Billie.

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How can she hear you? And she's not speaking.

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But we're talking.

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Mo! The twins are telepathic.

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What! Do you really think so?

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Seven of clubs.

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Jack of hearts.

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(Come on that's the tenth one she's guessed.)

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I didn't guess.

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She read my mind.

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-OK, here you go.

-Not that one, that's not even been cooked.

-Come on!

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I'm not being rude it needs to be cooked more.

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-Mike?

-Yes.

-What do you think?

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Um, I think it should be captured for posterity.

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-Posterity?

-What?

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A photo.

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Right are you ready? Look at me.

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-Say Everest.

-Everest.

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There we go, marvellous. Don't do that, it's hot.

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-Incapable of making a burger?

-Cheeky boy.

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Hey, hurry up, I'm getting hungry.

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Oh, 'scuse. Move, pondlife.

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Go on, girls. You go in front of me.

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-Why are you letting them in?

-Because they've got powers.

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-Right...

-Go on, girls, show him the card trick.

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Cards are boring. We can do better.

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Here you go, young ladies, sausages for you.

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-Tyler, what do you want?

-Sausage.

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There you go. Hello, you two, where've you been?

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Well, I got a re-call for Face Of The Future!

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-She totally smashed the audition.

-Whoa, back up. What audition?

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Oh, it's for this modelling agency. But it's not just modelling,

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it's like presenting videos on the internet, things like that.

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-Did you know about this?

-No.

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You should have asked. These auditions can be dodgy, you know.

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Yeah, I know but this one isn't. It's all official.

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You just need to sign the consent forms, that's it.

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Um, you don't know anything about science.

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Does it matter?

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Well, it says in the rules that it does.

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-Mike, you've got to fake it to make it.

-She's a natural.

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Right, well, I need to know this is legitimate before you carry on.

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-I'll call them tomorrow. No promises, all right?

-OK.

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I am Billie's eyes.

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She'll read my mind and know when it's Bailey.

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You should fire if it's Bailey.

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# Could it be magic? #

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-Gotcha!

-Being lucky doesn't prove anything.

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We'll do it until you believe us.

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Fire if it's Bailey.

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# Could it be magic? #

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OK, OK. I believe you.

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-What do you think?

-About what?

-Are we special?

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Well, yeah, I guess.

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Er, the vitamin C tablet, put on the lid and stand back.

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It's going to blow up like a rocket.

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Oh.

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This is a disaster. You must have done something wrong.

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Maybe this whole science thing isn't really your bag?

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Wait, you have called the agency, haven't you?

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Yes. The producer said she was very impressed with you.

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Even more so when I told her you were in care.

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You did what?

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It's nothing to be ashamed of.

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Sylvie said that it was an interesting angle.

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It might give you an edge.

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-She really said that?

-Yeah.

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She wants to film the re-call here with a celebrity this afternoon.

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DOG BARKS

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-Carmen!

-I was on a high score!

-I don't care. Get out.

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Yeah, we live in here as well, you know.

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Not today you don't. I'm going to be filming in here with a celebrity, OK?

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-Cool. Who?

-It doesn't matter. Goodbye!

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These are all over the lobby. Can you please pick them up?

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You pick 'em up.

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You can go down there and do some hoovering, please.

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-It's filthy.

-We're not your slaves.

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Who does she think she is?

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It's 2-1. She's going to score, Billie's going to score.

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-Oh, you're so close.

-You're so good.

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-Oh.

-Goal!

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That was a good goal. That was a really good goal.

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Well done, girls.

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-Hey, what's up with Mischief?

-The flea bag stays in there, OK?

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DOG WHIMPERS

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You read my mind.

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We've got to face it. Billie knew I wanted a drink.

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-How?

-Nah, they can't read our minds, come on.

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What if they can? Guys, this is serious.

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-Can you hurry it up please?

-Yes, all right, Carmen.

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Well, I've only got a small window.

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OK, so charge up the rod and pick up the tinsel!

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Wow, how cool's that?

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We need experiments with a wow factor.

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This is the internet so it's going to be viewed worldwide.

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LA, most definitely.

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It's not fair. Beyonce has people to put on her eye-liner.

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Carmen, it's a five-minute video.

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Why don't you just stop chatting

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and try and find me some more experiments, yeah?

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Snap snap.

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Do you know what? Do it yourself.

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If they can read minds then they'll know everything we're thinking.

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-All our secrets.

-All our embarrassing secrets.

-Such as?

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Well, then, there was this time when...

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Oh, nice try, bruv.

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What did we do?

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Just to let you know - I've signed those consent forms.

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Oh, OK. Thank you.

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I thought you'd be pleased?

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I want to do something special for this audition.

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But Tee won't help me and I just can't seem to find

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the right experiment.

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What if I mess it up, Mike?

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-Keep looking. You'll get there.

-HE CLICKS HIS TONGUE

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Yes!

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-We can't hide in here forever.

-Got any better ideas?

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Tyler?

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Bailey?

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-We thought you were them.

-Look, I made some thought protectors.

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They keep everything in your mind

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so the twins can't know what you're thinking.

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That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard you say.

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-Which is going some.

-Suit yourself.

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And you're as mad as him.

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Look, I keep my embarrassing secrets the way they are - secret.

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-We like...

-Your hats.

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-They keep you safe but...

-Bailey isn't...

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Wearing one.

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What's wrong with them?

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-Can we help you...

-Build your models?

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Find someone more interesting.

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THEY LAUGH HALF-HEARTEDLY

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Look, I'll tell Mike you're reading minds. Just go away.

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Go away!

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-Is everything OK?

-Everyone's being weird to us.

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We pretended to be mind benders cos

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we didn't like being feeder bottoms and it's all gone wrong.

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"Add two vitamin C tablets."

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OK, erm, why it works.

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The water and the oil don't mix together because...

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Carmen?

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-Er, what is it with the interruptions?

-Why'd you do this?

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-I didn't.

-Ryan saw you with it.

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-I didn't I just...

-Carmen used your model for an experiment.

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-I guess it went wrong.

-Why would you do that?

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It was an accident.

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I got it wet by accident and so I put it in the garden to dry.

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You just take what you want. You're so selfish.

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-Carmen, you haven't even said you're sorry.

-This has gone far enough.

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-You've caused mayhem and upset everyone.

-No, I haven't!

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You have been rude, selfish, disruptive

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and shown a complete disregarded for everybody in the house.

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DOORBELL RINGS FREQUENTLY

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OK, OK, OK, keep your...

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Lovely hair on. Hi. Hi.

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You must be May-Li? I'm Sylvie and this...

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-Dallas Campbell?

-Hi.

-Oh. Hi.

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-Um.

-Oh, yeah, sorry. Come in, come in.

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If this is the way that you're going to carry on, you can

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-forget about the audition.

-You're going to cancel my audition?

0:19:140:19:17

-No, I...

-This is, er, this is Mike, our lead care worker.

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-Er, hello, welcome.

-Hello, hi.

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-Hiya.

-Hi, Mike, how do you do? Hi.

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These are our young people. And, now, this is Carmen.

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Ah, Dallas, this is the girl I was telling you about.

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Hi, our budding young scientist? Great to meet you.

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Hi. That's me. All about the science.

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So, er, why don't you come on in and get set up?

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OK great, come on then, chaps, let's go.

0:19:430:19:46

Mike, thank you.

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We're not done.

0:19:490:19:51

So, er, once you've filled the, the...the canister with water,

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then you...you then put in, um, then when you've done that,

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you put in the vitamin C tablet and put the...the top on.

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OK, spot the deliberate mistake.

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See, obviously, that has to be that way round.

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Go, Carmen!

0:20:200:20:22

OK, er, moving swiftly on.

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Carmen will now demonstrate the magic floating tinsel. OK?

0:20:270:20:34

-Yeah. OK.

-Obviously without the instructions, sorry.

0:20:340:20:38

OK. Er, you...

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THEY STIFLE LAUGHTER

0:20:470:20:48

Um. That's a very, very good demonstration of gravity but

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what we want to try and demonstrate here is the static charge, yeah?

0:20:510:20:56

OK.

0:20:560:20:57

So, you're going to need this.

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Give it a good old charge, like this.

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Rub it really hard against the jumper. OK, that should do.

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See what happens.

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Whoo!

0:21:100:21:12

How does it do that?

0:21:140:21:16

Well, it, um, like...

0:21:160:21:19

I tell you what, shall we just park this and move on to something else?

0:21:200:21:23

How about a volcano? Oh, wait, you already destroyed that.

0:21:230:21:29

Oh, that's enough, Jody.

0:21:290:21:30

No, we've had enough. Why are you letting her do this?

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She doesn't even know anything about science.

0:21:330:21:35

Oh, do you know what? Whatever, I don't care.

0:21:350:21:37

Science is boring anyway.

0:21:370:21:39

Um. OK, well, look,

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do you want me to do a little demonstration?

0:21:480:21:51

I'll show you how interesting science can be. Yeah?

0:21:510:21:53

Yeah, whoo!

0:21:530:21:56

-CD:

-'Breathe deep, relax and repeat after me.

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'I am special,

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'I will succeed.'

0:22:080:22:10

That's easy for you to say.

0:22:100:22:12

'I will never give up.

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'I will never give up.'

0:22:140:22:16

-You weren't there!

-She knew what card she was holding without looking.

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And then they soaked me but nobody else.

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Girls?

0:22:240:22:26

We did signs for the card tricks.

0:22:260:22:28

Toni said "shoot" instead of "fire" when it was Bailey.

0:22:280:22:31

No, I don't believe you. You always finish each other's sentences.

0:22:310:22:34

You know each other's thoughts.

0:22:340:22:35

That's because they've had the same experience in life.

0:22:350:22:38

They feel the same way about the world.

0:22:380:22:40

Our last foster home was horrible.

0:22:400:22:43

They punished us if we talked at the table.

0:22:430:22:46

So we just kind of learned to talk without speaking.

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So why all the tricks?

0:22:510:22:52

-Yeah, why freak us out like that?

-I wasn't scared.

0:22:520:22:56

-Everyone ignores us.

-No, we don't.

0:22:560:22:59

Actually, we probably do.

0:22:590:23:02

We're not bottom feeders.

0:23:020:23:03

We're not freaks.

0:23:030:23:06

-We're just...

-Sisters.

0:23:060:23:09

-CD:

-'My fear is not real. The universe supports me. I am loved.

0:23:150:23:21

'I am protected. I am cherished.'

0:23:210:23:23

INTERESTED CHATTER

0:23:250:23:29

Right, does anybody know what this is?

0:23:370:23:39

-Is it really, really cool?

-It is indeed something very cool, yes.

0:23:390:23:42

-Space ship?

-Well it's quite sci-fi in a way.

0:23:420:23:45

I might need a volunteer for this.

0:23:450:23:47

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry I lied...

0:23:500:23:55

about knowing about science.

0:23:550:23:57

Is there any way that I could have a second chance?

0:23:570:23:59

Do you want a second chance?

0:23:590:24:02

Yeah. Yeah.

0:24:020:24:05

OK. Put those on.

0:24:070:24:10

Put that on.

0:24:140:24:16

OK, what I want you to do is I want you to hold your

0:24:180:24:21

-palms out like this.

-OK.

0:24:210:24:23

Put them on this big metal sphere, OK?

0:24:230:24:25

Now, guys, have a look at this, see if you can see what happens.

0:24:250:24:28

-Can you feel that?

-Yeah. I felt that.

0:24:280:24:30

Now, have a look at her hair. Can you see that?

0:24:300:24:32

Oh, yeah.

0:24:320:24:34

Why does it stand up like that?

0:24:360:24:39

OK, so, if you can step back. OK.

0:24:390:24:41

Right, a rose.

0:24:430:24:45

Now, if I put this in here.

0:24:480:24:50

-EVERYONE:

-Whoa!

0:24:500:24:52

There you go, just to say thank you.

0:24:550:24:59

-EVERYONE:

-Wow!

0:24:590:25:00

How did you do that?

0:25:010:25:03

Well, the liquid nitrogen is really, really cold

0:25:030:25:05

and it just freezes the flower and makes it brittle.

0:25:050:25:09

Could, could I have a go?

0:25:090:25:10

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:25:100:25:12

That's it just dunk it in.

0:25:130:25:16

That's it, stick it all in.

0:25:160:25:18

Sorry...

0:25:280:25:30

for being such a cow bag.

0:25:320:25:34

Right, with a little bit of washing up liquid here,

0:25:390:25:41

we put in a couple of inches of water, put a little bit

0:25:410:25:43

-of dry ice in here...

-HE SHOUTS EXCITEDLY

0:25:430:25:46

Now, look at that. Gather round, gather round.

0:25:460:25:48

Grab yourself a bubble.

0:25:480:25:49

MUSIC: Wake Me Up by Avicii

0:25:490:25:51

That's amazing.

0:25:510:25:53

We'll put these little dry ice pallets in. There we go.

0:26:000:26:03

Perfect, perfect smoke rings.

0:26:060:26:08

Come on, yeah.

0:26:080:26:11

You've got it, you've got it.

0:26:110:26:12

EVERYONE: Whoa!

0:26:230:26:25

-So cool!

-I love that smoke.

0:26:310:26:33

-It's good.

-And that's how science works, ladies and gentlemen.

0:26:360:26:39

Right, how are you guys getting on over here? Let's have a look.

0:26:390:26:41

Well done, Carmen. Now, as far as the audition goes...

0:26:430:26:48

Look, I'm sorry but I just... I think this thing's not really for me.

0:26:480:26:54

Sorry.

0:26:540:26:55

Well, that is good because I wasn't going to offer it to you anyway.

0:26:550:27:00

-Oh.

-Sorry, hun.

-Right.

0:27:000:27:04

-TV:

-'Jim's fond of a good explosion

0:27:180:27:20

'and that's exactly what you need to get an engine working.'

0:27:200:27:23

CHILDREN TALK QUIETLY

0:27:230:27:29

'If you're not convinced that icing sugar would burn...'

0:27:320:27:34

Thanks, Tyler.

0:27:340:27:37

-Carmen?

-Yeah.

0:27:380:27:41

Shh!

0:27:420:27:44

'All very impressive but sugar inside an engine?'

0:27:450:27:48

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