Perfect Match The Dumping Ground

Who put that in there? It takes 500 years for this to decompose.

Oh, yeah, how was your "Go Greener" course?

Inspirational, actually.

"House meeting after breakfast - your planet needs you."

Yeah.

-No luck, OK.

-You're only going to your mum's?

She hasn't invited me around in ages

and she says she wants to talk to me about something.

So remember the deal, if she does want you home, then...

It has got to be different this time.

Yeah, you're not just there to look after your brothers.

She's really changed.

No promises, OK?

Everything has to go to a review meeting first, yeah.

Yeah, I know, but I think she's ready for me now...

finally.

DOORBELL RINGS

Hi.

That's from a shop. I didn't nick them.

-You didn't need to buy me flowers.

-I wanted to.

Come upstairs. I've got something to show you.

Wow. Mummy explosion.

I'm pregnant.

It's a girl?

I'm getting a sister!

So you want me back now to help.

-Sasha...

-I don't mind,

but half-and-half this time, yeah. No dumping her on me.

I've got their dad to pitch in.

My new bloke, Kev.

Yeah, but he won't be sticking around now, will he?

-You know, they never do.

-He loves me.

And he gets on great with the boys.

Dexter never mentioned him.

He didn't want to make you feel left out.

I won't be now. It'll be tight, with the six of us,

-but I can help with little sis.

-I'm sorry, Sasha.

I want you to know about the baby and to be part of her life,

but...it wouldn't work.

You coming home.

So you asked me around...to dump me?

-No.

-One daughter in and another one out.

It's not like that.

This is why I didn't tell you cos I knew you'd be jealous.

Jealous?

Jealous of that poor kid for having you as a mum?

I hope she makes you very happy.

What are you doing? Ugh!

The council is giving an award for the greenest children's home.

This could really put Ashdene Ridge on the map.

-Yawn.

-Remember my suspension, though.

This could get him noticed for good reasons.

So what does the greenest children's home have to do?

All the basic stuff, like reducing waste,

but I want us to take this to another level.

Upcycling.

Up what?

You know, converting rubbish into something useful

with a few modifications, obviously.

For instance, a fly swatter.

A funky earring.

Chest wig.

-Are you serious?

-Yeah.

You always tell me off for hoarding rubbish and now you're saying it's a good thing?

You know what, Mo, you are so ahead of the game.

You're our green pioneer.

-I always knew it.

-Excellent. So, the upcycling challenge is on.

Old junk, new function.

Impress me.

-How was your mum?

-Pregnant.

New bloke. No room for me.

Sasha, I had no idea. I'm so sorry.

Don't be. And the good news is you can put me up for fostering now.

-Fostering?

-Yeah.

Time to move on. I should have done that years ago.

Yes! The leaning tower of Pisa.

Right...!

-That's rubbish.

-That's what it's supposed to be - that's the point.

No, it's not. Upcycling is supposed to be useful.

Yeah, well, I'm not making phones out of bean cans,

-that's for the infant school.

-Boring!

Fine, if you're not going to take it seriously,

I'm just going to work by myself.

They're hardly embracing the future as eco warriors, are they?

Give them time.

They just need the right motivation.

Oh, I called Sasha's social worker.

He's seeing the placement team tomorrow.

Oi!

I know.

It's what she wants, though.

-Brilliant prizes.

-You never said anything about prizes.

-Bowling.

-Picking dinners for the week.

If you don't enter, you'll never find out.

Hey, want to join forces?

Yeah.

-Me and you two, yeah?

-All right.

When I lived on the streets, we upcycled everything.

Necessity is the mother of invention.

Us three, the winning team.

No-one wants us.

You're bribing them?

More incentivising.

See?

Oh, yeah, we've got this, girls.

How about you two can be on design and I'll be project manager.

And us. We'll be...

Work experience interns.

Sorry, girls. I'm going to have to steal Sasha.

We've heard back from your social worker.

I know you're going to say - I have to wait ages.

But there's a couple that might be a match.

Yeah, they've been approved for a while.

They're just waiting for the right young person.

And it's not fostering, they're looking to adopt.

Adopt?

Me? Are you serious?

I know that it's a bigger deal, but you can say no any time.

Do they know I've been in trouble with the police?

I nearly went to a secure home?

Oh, yeah they know all this and they're keen to meet you.

Let's do it. They sound nuts, but...

I like them already.

Great.

-Hey.

-Are these rubbish?

Yeah, I'm uploading all our hard disks to the Cloud.

-Eco forward thinking.

-Cool. Bagsie any more.

They're called Lou and Ang, no other kids.

How jammy is she?

And she's got her own en suite.

I reckon it was Karma,

it's like Lou and Ang have been waiting for me.

-Good luck.

-Good luck, Sash.

-Good luck, Sash.

-Ready?

-Mm-hm.

-Come on.

Sorry, give us a minute.

-What's the matter?

-Well, they're...

What?

Little. Like me.

Yeah. They're small people.

I told you.

I thought...

I thought you meant small people than...you're small and Tee.

Oh...no.

I suppose it explains why you got a match so quickly.

Sash, it may be a factor, OK,

but it's not the only reason.

-Hey, are you here for Sasha?

-Duh!

Yeah. Cool deck.

We're upcycling it into a go-kart.

Oh.

Are you OK now?

Sorry. A bit of a communication breakdown.

Is that why we've been matched?

So we can be...small together?

We think we get being a small person better than anyone else,

but only if you're a good fit for us.

And OK, we cheated a bit.

We've watched your vlog a few times.

-You've seen my vlog?

-Yeah.

Our mate's kid's a big fan and Ang vlogs too.

-You do?

-Yeah.

All About Ang - boxercise, buying clothes,

trying to adopt.

-How many followers have you got?

-3,500.

Not bad.

I review Lou's gigs too.

Yeah. I play bass in a band.

Sort of psychedelic rock vibe. Space Whiz.

Yeah, we've got a pretty good rep on the pub circuit.

He reckons your music taste isn't bad.

Got a lot to learn though, like, where's your '90s Britpop?

I've started making you a play list.

Lou, give the girl a chance.

Sorry. I tend to rabbit on a bit when I get nervous.

SMASHING

Stop. Stop. Stop. What's going on?

Where did you find this?

The skip down the road.

Mo, what are you doing?

It's my upcycling venture.

Broken glass, you're going to cut yourself, you doughnut!

But it's for Mike's award.

-Remember? I'm a green pioneer.

-New rules -

you can only use safe rubbish.

-Safe rubbish?

-Yes.

Thank you.

There you go.

So, would you let me paint my room?

As long as it's not pink.

-I hate pink.

-Good!

And what about computer time? Oh, and curfew?

And would I get an allowance?

I don't know. I guess all those things would be up for discussion.

We'd make the house rules together, but for me and Ang too,

like, if we wanted to go out, how long we could leave you for.

I can be on my own for hours.

We're not getting a young person to dump them first chance we get.

If we were your parents, then you'd come first.

I'll give Sasha's social worker a call now

-and let them know you want to take it a stage further.

-Great.

Is nine too early?

I don't want her doing the whole grumpy teenager thing.

I think she's too excited for that.

Oh, there's Mike.

-Hi.

-Hey.

-Well?

-Listen, about what I said before,

I'm sorry, it was really dumb.

OK. It's cool. They're taking me out for the day tomorrow.

Seriously?

We're out of CDs.

Well, go and look for more in the recycling, then, minion.

Go on.

All right, lads?

-How's the mean machine?

-We're stuck.

-No, we're not.

-OK, well, it looks like you need a couple of axles,

a steering wheel and a drive shaft.

-Oh.

-I've got a few bits knocking around in the garage,

-I'll bring them in tomorrow.

-Awesome.

-Will you help us?

-Yeah, yeah, when I get back.

It's a deal.

There must be some CDs in here.

Sorry about the weather.

Are you OK?

I've never been to the seaside.

On my first day at Ashdene Ridge,

I smashed a minibus cos I wasn't allowed.

You're here now, so no smashing needed.

What do you want to do first?

Oh, I'd better get some for my little brothers. That one.

You're slaying me every time.

Mum taught me!

Well, my mum never brought us.

She thought my brother was such a fool, he'd probably drown.

There you go. Get your gob around that.

I bet you wish you hadn't eaten all that candyfloss now, don't you?

-Come on.

-My mum always made me have the kids menu.

She said, if anyone asks, I had to say I was six.

You see, that's the up side of being small.

Child prices forever!

You can only go on little kids' rides,

cos of the height restrictions,

that's why she never took us to the theme parks neither.

Did she take you anywhere?

Yeah, of course.

What an adorable little family.

Eat up. Gift shop next.

I'll treat you to a souvenir.

Yeah, I uploaded everyone's photo CDs.

Or screenies, we use Cloud storage now.

Yeah, here we are - Harry, Carmen, Finn,

I haven't had a chance to transfer yours yet, so...

So where are they?

We need our pictures for our upcycling project

and I'm trying to stay really calm here, Mike.

Are you sure that's all you want?

-Yes, thanks.

-You're a cheap day out.

She's stolen something.

But you don't think that I...

A seagull tea cosy? She's not that tragic.

If you'd just like to follow me, please, madam.

Get off me. Lou!

All right, calm down, babe.

You don't actually think we stole this?

So let me get this straight, Mo and Tee took the CDs from the recycling,

Tony took the CDs from my desk.

Carmen told her to.

We're just the interns.

Mo nicked ours?!

Er, no, I never.

Mike, I bagsied them, you heard me.

Did you steal our idea too?

You know what? Have 'em!

If you've chopped ours...

-Chill! We've got them.

-Yeah, and you'd better have...

I really hope this award is worth it, Mike.

KNOCK ON DOOR

It's half globe, half disco ball which means you can

learn about world geography whilst busting your moves.

There's certainly a gap in the market.

The papier-mache won't dry, even with three hairdryers.

You know...I think we've both been taking this a bit too seriously.

When can you be too serious about saving the planet?

Um, Sasha just called.

She wants bringing home.

Hey. Where are Lou and Ang?

Did you fall out?

They wouldn't have just left you.

Come on.

Mike, great you could join us.

Have you told him what you did?

Put a load of stuff in my bag.

The woman thought I was a shoplifter.

Until they saw Sasha on the security camera.

We explained about the adoption trial

and the manager isn't going to take it any further.

She felt sorry for us.

Oi. This was your idea.

No-one pushed you into it.

This woman said something to her

and I'm guessing she might have got self-conscious.

No.

You talked a lot about your mum and brothers today

and I have a feeling we're trying to fill a space that's already taken.

Trust yours to be right in the middle.

How long have we got left?

Three hours until judging.

We need longer than that.

Lou said he'd help.

He would have forgotten by now. He was only sucking up.

I'm not entering anyway.

Finn and Kazima finished ours.

I could help if you like.

Yeah. I'd love it.

Thanks.

She said we were an adorable little family.

Patronising nosebag!

But we look like one.

More than I ever did with my real mum and brothers.

Well, looks don't mean anything, Sasha.

She's never going to want me back,

not now that she's got the boys and the new baby...

But she's still your mum.

I thought...I could give up on her.

I suppose we could foster you instead.

We want a kid we could call our own...

..who'd come to us before anyone else

when they pass their exams or fail them,

ran out of money, get dumped for the first time.

We just want to be parents.

And you'll be brilliant.

I'm really sorry I let you down.

No. You didn't.

Come here.

I knew he wouldn't forget.

-Where's Sasha?

-Has something gone wrong?

No, she's behind us with Mike.

Come on, let's crack on with this go-kart.

Right...

OK, tools, maestro.

Let's have a look.

How come you know all this stuff?

-Well, my dad taught me.

-I haven't got a dad.

Or a mum.

If you can pass me, er... pass me those wheels over there.

That's it.

-Well?

-I can't be adopted.

Sasha?

I don't get it.

You know, you've been in care longer than anyone.

Exactly. I can't leave Mike.

You said last night, you know, when you got fostered.

I hadn't been suspended then.

He needs me to watch out for him now.

Sasha knows how it works.

We'd have to be matched to Harry.

Yeah. But you can't blame her for trying, eh?

He's probably totally wrong for us.

Yeah. A nuts idea.

-Mike?

-Yeah.

-I need you.

Oh.

Harry.

Harry...

Harry, please.

No-one's getting adopted. Not just like that.

OK.

But say the chance did come along, you know, one day,

I'd hate to think that you wouldn't take it.

Of course, I'd miss you like crazy.

My best hope for all of you is that you all find a family of your own.

If I did get adopted, it would have to be Lou and Ang.

Come on. Come on, just in time.

Do you think Mike meant what he said?

Of course, he did. He's happy if you are.

If we all are.

How come you don't want them to adopt you?

Because I've got a mum.

And... Anyhoo,

you're a free agent, I'm not.

You've got to go for it.

-They are lovely, aren't they?

-The best.

It won't go wrong this time, Harry.

I promise.

Got a minute, Mike?

Of course. Come on in.

Sit yourself down there.

Finally!

See. Told you we didn't need any help.

I'm being adopted by Lou and Ang.

-What?

-Steady on. Steady on.

It is just a possibility for the moment, OK?

They're keen to explore it further. That's all.

The DJ is cool, but having my own mum and dad, that would be awesome.

If that's what you want.

Right. The entries are as follows...

Team Enlightenment.

This is a stunning CD curtain certain to brighten up any home.

-Wow.

-Marvellous. Beautiful.

Thank you. Thank you.

-Kaz?

-Team Trashy Fashy, all weather clothing for outdoor sleepers.

Wow!

Nice!

-Wow. That's brilliant.

-That is brilliant.

-Guys.

-I didn't know we were doing team names.

-Get on with it.

-Right, so we're, erm...

Team Funky.

Shatter-proof photo frames.

-Brilliant.

-Wonderful.

Ryan, Harry? Your turn.

-Wow.

-Oh, wow.

-It's a go-kart.

-Well, I knew that you'd all rise to the challenge,

but these are outstanding.

-Well done.

-Whose is best?

And what's the big prize?

Wait!

Whoa!

That's amazing.

It's Ashdene Ridge.

No, that doesn't count because it doesn't have a use.

Yes, it has.

It's for Harry to remember us.

Right, so as far as we're concerned...

..all of you are joint winners.

Oh, Mike, that's a cop out.

Yeah, I know. There you go.

-A potato clock?

-Yeah. Here you go.

A dynamo torch.

Are we noticing a theme here?

Eh?

A windmill generator.

-What is that even?

-Wicked.

-I've always wanted one of those.

-Here.

Mike, are we going to win the award?

Are we the greenest children's home?

As long as we're the happiest, that suits me.

Aw, you cringe, Mike!

So yeah, the whole new family thing didn't exactly work out.

-Not for you anyway.

-But I've got a little sister now.

And guess what? She's a small person like me.

So I've got to teach her things like...

..how to be little, but big on the inside.

Oh, no, no, you've upcycled my best vintage shirt.

It looks way better on Finn.

I bought that in 1988 in a beach shack in Jamaica.

-I thought it smelt a bit!

-Oi!

Right, that's it. No more upcycling.

Right, from now on, it's banned.

-ALL:

-Yeah!

Give me back my shirt!