Miscreants, Robots and Bullies The Dumping Ground


Miscreants, Robots and Bullies

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Mischief! DOG BARKS

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Hey, miss me?

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HE CHUCKLES

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-Have you seen that lorry?

-Must be for Agatha's old house.

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Oh, hi, Bailey.

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Oh, Bailey, you're back.

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-How are you?

-I'm cool.

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-Have you seen Mo?

-You're not due back till tomorrow.

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Oh, and our new neighbours are moving in today.

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All right, boys?

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-Hey, Bailey.

-Hey, Bailey.

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Hey, Mo, I've got you a wicked present.

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-Are you visiting Sasha?

-No.

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Don't dob me in it.

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-Where's Mo?

-Gone back to his grandad's.

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Didn't you know?

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-You knew Mo was leaving.

-Yeah, in a couple of weeks.

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No, no, no, no, can't phone him.

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Yeah, but I'm going to say goodbye.

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-Have you got a problem with that?

-Not till he's settled in.

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His grandad has asked that we leave it a few days, yeah?

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Don't cry about it, Bailey. It's not like he's your brother.

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Yeah, like you'd know.

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Where's yours?

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Has anyone seen the twins this morning?

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It's my turn to play with Harriet first.

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You're too rough. Agatha said she was keeping her for someone special.

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-THUMPING

-Careful.

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Let's get that dresser.

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The new owners. Quick!

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Don't drop Harriet, she's really fragile.

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We'll never get out without being seen.

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Of course, the guttering needs doing.

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Hey, there! Hold it!

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Oh, Peter!

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Oh!

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Two of...

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Two of the vagabonds!

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"To the residents. We would be delighted

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"if you could join us for some light refreshment

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"at four o'clock today."

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On the day they move in? That's weird.

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We can take them a house-warming present!

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Maybe...cherry cupcakes.

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# You were the shadow to my light... #

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CREAKING

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CREAKING CONTINUES

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Oi! That's not yours.

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Get out!

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Can I hang around with you? You've got really sick trainers.

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Look, I never said you could touch them.

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Now, scram, you little brat!

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Who are you talking to?

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It's none of your business.

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Don't come in my room without knocking, yeah?

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Go.

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-Get off! It's a house-warming.

-Why is it a house-warming?

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Why isn't it house-chilling?

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-Do we have to go?

-You and Billie were friends with Agatha.

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Do you not want to know the people that she left her house to?

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It says residents, and that's all of us. Come on.

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Hey, Bailey!

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I'm not meeting any dumb neighbours.

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They've all gone.

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Wicked.

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HE SIGHS HEAVILY

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Look, if you ain't seeing Sasha, just do one, yeah?

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-No-one wants you here.

-You're only in a mood because Mo is gone.

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-Just shut it, yeah?

-Oi! Leave him alone.

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Just tell him to get out of my face.

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So it was him in your room?

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-Oh, whatever.

-You can't come here outside of contact

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or Mum'll get into trouble.

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Is that what you want?

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Or for her and Kev to be a family,

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with you and Murphy and the baby?

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And me?

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Sasha, hurry up!

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Stop playing around with Bailey and go home.

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# Once I was seven years old

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# My mamma told me

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# "Go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely"

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# Once I was seven years old... #

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BOLTS, LOCKS AND CHAINS RATTLE

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Ah...greetings.

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Peter Umbleby. My lady wife - Janet.

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-Pleased to meet you.

-Likewise. I'm Mike.

-And I'm May-Li.

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Thank you so much for inviting us. And so soon.

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Ah, well, we like to touch base with the neighbours ASAP.

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We'll be meeting each household one by one, you know?

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Really?

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Well, Janet gets nervous.

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Doesn't like crowds.

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Kids, come on.

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This is Tyler.

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Jody, Kazima.

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Archie, Sasha, Floss...

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Cupcake? Me and Joseph made them.

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Oh, lovely!

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Billie, Finn, Tony, Joseph,

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Chloe and...Ryan.

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Oh, well, come in.

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Thank you.

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Thank very much.

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Er...12 children?

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Oh, 13, actually. Yeah, one of them's not there.

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Right...

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You're so young.

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What?

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-Do you think May-Li and I are...?

-Oh...!

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No, no, no, no. They're not ours.

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You've got to be kidding me!

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Can you imagine? SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

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So, what is this?

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Oh, we're a children's home.

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Bailey!

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Bailey, wait up!

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-Shall we have a kickabout?

-The bus stop's over there, yeah?

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Come on, I know you want to.

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-You used to play loads in the old days.

-Look, just stop bugging me!

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Are you deaf?

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Did you find your cat?

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Erm...yeah. Thanks for asking.

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You haven't got a cat.

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People say random stuff like that to me all the time.

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Oh, the bus is coming.

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Ashdene Ridge Care Home.

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I'm surprised you didn't know.

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So are you all...orphans?

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We are in care.

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Some of us have parents, they just can't look after us.

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Tyler's mum's got mental problems.

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Huh?

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And Jody's was in prison for ages.

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Not any more!

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And Sasha was supposed to go to secure.

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That's for the baddest kids.

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Floss, I'm sure the Umblebys aren't interested.

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Yes, we are! We should have been told.

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There's Mischief, as well.

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He used to belong to a homeless guy,

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but he's our dog now.

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Ah! Ah! Ah! Hands off the robo-vac!

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That's Mrs Umbleby's baby.

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Wow...

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-Cherry cupcake?

-Uh-uh! Go and do your homework.

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-Go on.

-You told me I had to impress the neighbours.

-Not this rabble.

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-It'd be way over their heads.

-Won't go over Tyler's head.

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He's enormous.

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HE GASPS FOR BREATH

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Choking! Eddie!

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HE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

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You're supposed to take the stones out!

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Right, go, and never come back!

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That went well.

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Oi! You need to look after your brother.

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He's only here because of the new baby.

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-That's why he keeps hanging around.

-Yeah, I'm not talking about that.

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He's being...weird.

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Weirder than you? I doubt it.

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Well, fine. If you don't want to know...

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He's my family. Get it?

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And I've got his back until I move into Kev's house with Mum.

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That's never going to happen. Your mum's a flake.

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And your dad's a loser

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who works on a ship just so he doesn't have to see you.

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Stay away from my brother!

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I don't want him learning anything off you.

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Not again...!

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It was Bailey who suggested it. Just what he needs.

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He's only doing it to get at me.

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Hey, Dexter, on me head.

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That's an awful lot of effort, if that's the only reason.

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You're pathetic. You know that?

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Yeah, it's not my fault your bro thinks I'm the bomb.

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And watching you freak out makes it all worthwhile.

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That thing I saw.

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She's holding it.

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Mrs Dumbleby said it was her baby.

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What?

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Where?

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That round metal thing, this big.

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-Then it's obvious, it's an egg.

-An egg?

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People don't hatch from eggs.

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No, but robots do.

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"Public meeting to address residents' concerns

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"about Ashdene Ridge."

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"We are horrified to discover

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"a children's care home on our doorstep.

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"No obvious signage, deliberately hiding the miscreants within."

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Miscreants? Are they Victorian?

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Nice job, Floss. They think we're all crims.

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Right, nobody panic, right?

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One set of neighbours can't close us down.

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Bailey, the training cones need to go back in the shed, please.

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-Can't Dexter do it?

-Sasha's taking him home.

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-He's a bit of a handful, isn't he? Reminds me of someone.

-What?

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Look...

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he really looks up to you.

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And it's great that you're giving him the time.

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Message from Mum.

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She doesn't want Dexter playing football with you any more.

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Really? She seemed happy enough earlier.

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Yeah, so you've been dissing me.

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-Who's pathetic now?

-Didn't have to. He's found someone better.

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Shame.

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KNOCKS ON THE DOOR

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Bailey.

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Kev.

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Saw you around the academy. Come in.

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Got to thank you for getting Dex back into his football.

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-Big respect.

-Yeah, so are you training him now?

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Me?

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Nah.

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I'll be taking it from here.

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-Roddy...

-Hello, mate.

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How's it going? Ain't seen you since you got dropped.

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Yeah.

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-So Kev's your dad?

-He stayed on when you left.

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-Went down the coaching route.

-He's professional, nearly.

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That's the plan. He's off to America to footie college.

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I'll get the kettle on, love.

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So why did Dexter come to me, then...

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since you're so great?

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Pity?

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Once I get rid of those bad habits you taught him,

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he's going to be a tidy little player, aren't you, mate?

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How many so far?

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I've counted 12 people going into the Dumblebys'.

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-Definitely.

-I don't get it. No-one's ever complained before.

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Guys... They've added free cake to the poster.

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They're cheaters!

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If they're bad-mouthing us, we've got to know what they're saying.

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Absolutely.

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We're residents, too. I've got every right to be there.

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Go, Mike.

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Should we tell him they're robots?

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We need proof.

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I always need linos, if you want to get some experience.

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From you? That's a joke.

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Oh, you're just jealous because you didn't stick at it, mate.

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Yeah, and I know your rep.

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You're a bully. I wouldn't let you coach my dog, mate.

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What, they take dogs in your league? That figures.

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-I'm not in the league.

-Of course you're not. You're a loser.

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Dex is well out of it, mate. He needs a firm hand.

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Yeah? Well, play us.

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-Sorry?

-Let's see who's the best coach.

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My team against yours.

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I think that's a great idea, boys.

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Come on.

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-A football match?

-Yeah.

-You went to the house?

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-We've only been training a day.

-Roddy needs teaching a lesson.

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He's got nothing to do with you. Nothing!

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Cool it, you two. Look, I'm sure we can muster up a team for a friendly.

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Hey...

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-Well?

-They've got a couple of signatures on their petition.

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-There's a petition?

-Well, to be fair, there has been noise.

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Broken windows. Police visits.

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Yeah, but the Dumblebys don't have anything on us.

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It's not like we've been trespassing in the house.

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-Well, we did nearly poison them.

-Poison?

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-Our cakes were delicious.

-Cherry stones contain cyanide.

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Awkward!

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Jody's right. They can't complain if we don't give them grounds.

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It's not really trespassing,

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if Agatha let us go round.

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-You stole Harriet?!

-You wouldn't let me play with her.

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Don't you touch her, she's delicate! Get off!

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You'll break her!

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-What is this?

-It was Billie, not me.

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-It's from Agatha's attic.

-You have to take it back.

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No way! Mr Dumbleby's too scary.

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I'll do it. If you help me, Kaz.

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That's how he walks when there's nobody looking.

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Definitely a robot.

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I bet he's metal inside, too.

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Well, that's how we prove it. We see if they're magnetic.

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OK, are you ready?

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Cool.

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Floss, you'll have to be our sub.

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Where are you going?

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-There's a key?

-Agatha kept losing them, so she had loads.

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OK, quick.

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Oi!

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He's 17. You can't play him.

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-Excuse me?

-I recognised him from the Academy.

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-What's going on?

-Delaying tactics.

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-Expected as much.

-How old are you, son?

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-13.

-He's not!

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Dexy...

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Over here.

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Is that boy in your year at school?

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Yeah.

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OK, go on, quickly.

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Quick. Come on, come on.

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Forgot the measurements. Numbskull.

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Oh, and Mum said don't forget

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to put a dicky bow on for the concert later, all right?

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-Yeah, sure.

-Yeah.

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-We were just putting something back.

-OK.

-Thank you.

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Let's go.

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-Yes, here!

-Man on!

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Man on!

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Yes, well done!

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Yes! Good football. Well done.

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Yes!

0:19:390:19:40

Come on, team.

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Come on, guys, what are we doing? Focus!

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Yes!

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Team DG!

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Team, huddle up.

0:20:120:20:14

They are slaying us.

0:20:150:20:17

I don't even want to play any more.

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I'm going back to the bus.

0:20:200:20:21

-Never quit during a match, all right?

-But we're rubbish.

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You're not rubbish. For newbies, you lot are pretty sick.

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-We let in 23 goals.

-And you scored two.

0:20:270:20:30

Top volley from Joe. And, Billie, that cross was total class.

0:20:300:20:33

The right-back's a left footer, so take her on the outside.

0:20:330:20:36

We're not going to win.

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Yeah, maybe not.

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But if we only let in ten goals in the second half,

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it'll be an awesome result, yeah?

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Team DG?

0:20:440:20:45

-ALL:

-Team DG! Team DG!

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Yay!

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It's yours!

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Go on, team!

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Yes!

0:20:580:20:59

That's what I'm talking about!

0:21:040:21:07

That's it, keep it up.

0:21:110:21:12

Hey, guys, focus on your defence!

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REF BLOWS THE FINAL WHISTLE

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You've done good, guys. You've all done good.

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Well done, well done, well done, well done.

0:21:410:21:43

You lost. I don't get it.

0:21:440:21:47

All right, team, come in.

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You really pulled it around.

0:21:520:21:54

-Yeah, we're not quitters.

-Don't be so modest.

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They listen to you.

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We just do whatever works. That's all.

0:21:580:22:00

Have you ever thought about taking it up properly?

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These American colleges are always looking for talent.

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HE BLOWS A WHISTLE

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LAUGHTER

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HE SCREAMS

0:22:210:22:23

I'm done with all of that. Hey, Dexter!

0:22:260:22:28

You've got to stand up to Roddy, yeah?

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Otherwise, he's always going to push you about.

0:22:330:22:35

Come on, mate.

0:22:390:22:40

This isn't just about the footy, is it?

0:22:400:22:43

Dexter...

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Come on!

0:22:440:22:46

Then I smashed it into the net.

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I nearly took the goalie's head off!

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Yes! Look...

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Their star player, he plays for the over-17s.

0:22:550:22:58

See, I told you. Roddy's a cheat.

0:22:580:23:00

He's no good for your brother.

0:23:000:23:02

Don't pretend this has anything to do with Dexter.

0:23:020:23:04

That's enough, you two. Mischief needs walking.

0:23:040:23:07

Hello?

0:23:310:23:33

You've left your door open!

0:23:380:23:40

-Burgled?

-I called the police. The Umblebys are on their way back now.

0:23:470:23:51

-Do we know who did it?

-I don't know.

0:23:510:23:54

But the house is marked, so it's probably a professional job.

0:23:540:23:57

Yeah, Mischief still needs to be walked.

0:23:570:23:59

DIALLING TONE

0:24:110:24:13

PHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE

0:24:170:24:20

PHONE RINGS

0:24:230:24:26

Hello?

0:24:280:24:29

It was you who robbed the Dumblebys!

0:24:310:24:33

-I saw your cat poster.

-That's all I do.

0:24:330:24:36

Not the actual burgling.

0:24:360:24:38

What?!

0:24:380:24:40

I mark the houses. And I marked the Dumblebys for you.

0:24:400:24:43

Because they're nasty.

0:24:430:24:44

To make up for winning the football match.

0:24:440:24:47

So who are you working for?

0:24:490:24:51

Huh? Who are you working for?

0:24:530:24:55

Is it Roddy?

0:24:570:24:58

Roddy...

0:25:000:25:02

Shh. You can't tell anyone.

0:25:020:25:04

I'll work that out for myself, yeah?

0:25:040:25:06

-Suppose the police do?

-They can't.

0:25:060:25:08

I have to do what he says,

0:25:080:25:10

or it'll stir it up with the social workers.

0:25:100:25:13

To get the baby taken off Mum.

0:25:130:25:16

What's she doing?

0:25:360:25:37

I don't know. Must be out of battery or something.

0:25:380:25:41

Come on.

0:25:410:25:42

Argh!

0:26:040:26:05

Intruders! Help! He poked me!

0:26:080:26:10

You lot! Came back to gloat, did you?

0:26:120:26:15

Dad, wait! It wasn't them.

0:26:150:26:18

What do you mean it wasn't them?

0:26:180:26:20

Who else would it be?

0:26:210:26:22

Huh?

0:26:220:26:24

No way. They didn't burgle the Dumblebys' house.

0:26:390:26:42

It's Umbleby. Show some respect.

0:26:420:26:44

Get in.

0:26:440:26:45

No...

0:26:450:26:47

Seat belts on.

0:26:480:26:49

-Not them, they're innocent.

-Shh!

0:26:490:26:52

-Are they going to get arrested?

-Yeah, not without evidence.

0:26:520:26:54

Look, just keep your head down, yeah?

0:26:540:26:57

-But I know who did it.

-You'll get done for being an accessory.

0:26:590:27:02

Get a criminal record.

0:27:020:27:04

Do I have to be in Roddy's gang for ever?

0:27:070:27:10

No.

0:27:100:27:12

Because you've got me now.

0:27:120:27:14

I'm going to fix him for good.

0:27:160:27:19

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