Episode 2 The Johnny & Inel Show

RAPS: My alarm wakes me up I'm ready to rise

I splash some water on my face to get the sleep out my eyes

-RAPS:

-The sun's out shining I'd better stop rhyming

As Mum's always telling me "Fix up your timing!"

Now we've got a show on CBBC

Sure all of my fans will be out to see me

It's sick that the time is here

Now sit back, relax and get ready to cheer

-BOTH:

-We're doing well As you can tell

-So here comes the show with Johnny.

-And Inel.

# Rah, rah, uh-uh-uh

# Roma Ro-ma-ma-a

# Ga-ga, oh, la-la... #

-No.

-No.

Wasteman, what is this marvel you are working on?

Well, it's a marvel of engineering. It's the Wastemobile!

Oh!

If you move this over here and then you take back the X...

You what? Take back my ex?! No way!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Five, six, seven, eight.

-Feel that rhythm!

-Yeah!

-Oh! Oh! Oh!

-Oh!

-Oh!

# Der-der-der... #

What are you doing?

Excuse me, you're being very rude!

-Can you please knock before you come in?

-Thank you!

Well, it's just that the show's started. We need you in the studio.

-Come on, Johnny, let's just go, man.

-No, Inel!

It's time we told everyone about...

Jynel.

-Jynel?!

-Yeah, Jynel.

Basically, the biggest thing in music and dance EVER!

Oh, preaching, brother, preaching! Ha!

-(Jynel - believe in life.)

-(Live it.)

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Ha-ha-ha!

-Ha-ha-ha!

-Ha-ha-ha!

Thank you, guys! Thank you, guys!

And welcome to the Johnny and Inel Show.

And this is a particularly special show, as well. For today, we...

Actually, it's more me.

I have decided to launch the group...Jynel.

-Woo!

-Woo!

-Now, obviously, it's in its early stages of development,

but by the end of this show, we are going to be superstars.

Oh, yeah, international superstars.

I mean, imagine the swagger of Jay-Z and Kanye West.

Mixed in with the dancing of Diversity - yes!

With a bit of Bieber popularity.

Yeah, and that's just a smidgen, a SMIDGEN of what Jynel is all about.

Sounds exciting.

So, we're going to start by showing you the official,

-the OFFICIAL, Jynel greet!

-Oh, yeah.

-You ready, guys? All you need is my left hand.

-And my right hand.

And you're going to go and make a J with your left hand.

Then you're going to make a , by adding in your other arm.

And what we do is we cross arms...like that.

-And then we just say, "Jynel - believe in life.

-(Live it.)"

Right, now, guys, your turn.

-Right, so it's my left hand.

-And my right hand.

And then we cross...

"Jynel - believe in life. Live it."

-Now, you should really be feeling this in your calves, guys.

-Mm-hm.

-Really feel it in your calves.

-Why are we feeling it in our calves?

It's just a greet, innit?

It's more than a greet, Inel, it's a statement.

My legs are starting to tingle! Oh, no, oh, I can't feel me legs.

-I can't move!

-Come to think of it, I've got pins and needles, ah!

-I'm cramping up!

-Oh, this greet is dangerous! Oh, help! Cut to a sketch!

Cuts to a sketch!

Kids, teachers' bad beverage breath getting you down?

Eugh!

Killer coffee breath that you just can't face?

Eugh!

Well, let us help with our super-duper new product - Whiffguard.

Whiffguard is clinically proven to help repel teacher breath.

Just attach to your nose and you will never have to face the stink again.

Order now!

Hi, I'm Boris Horace.

And I'm Norris Gloris.

And welcome to the J&I News Network.

Our top story today, TV hosts Johnny Cochrane

and Inel Tomlinson have started their own group known as Jynel.

Jynel's debut single will be released on Monday

and it's called Believe In Life.

-(Jynel - believe in life.

-Live it.)

Believe in life!

Do you know, Boris, I used to be in a pop group.

-Oh, yeah?

-Yeah, we were called the News Readettes.

-The News Readettes, you say?

-Oh, yeah.

We were just a small-town act with big dreams.

So, what happened?

-I'd really rather not say.

-Well, that's it for today's news.

Tune in next time for the J&I News Network, with me Boris Horace.

And me Norris Gloris.

-Ta-ta.

-I'll say bye-bye.

So, really, what happened?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Now, I've been thinking, Inel.

-Yeah?

-I should be the lead singer on Jynel.

Ha, how did you come to that conclusion?

Because I'm the better singer.

Yeah, don't worry, you can do, like, backing vocals and all that but...

I'm naturally gifted.

But I've been taking singing lessons since I was eight years old.

I think I'm pretty good.

Listen, bless your heart, it's great that you try, it really is,

-but I am seriously talented. I'm going to cover this one.

-Oh, yeah?

Just listen to this.

# I don't believe in death but I believe in life. #

Powerful.

It was all right, yeah, but, you know,

I mean, I've been working on my range, you know?

I can do a lot of different styles.

I'm all about giving everyone a shot at the big time, so...

-Let's see it, eh? Can you do any Mariah?

-Of course.

Ahem.

# When a hero comes along

# With the strength to carry on. #

It was all right. Can you do anything else?

Er, yeah, I can do a bit of Scatman.

# Ski-ba-bop-ba-dop-bop

# Ba-bop-ba-dop-bop Ba-ba-ba-ba-ski-ba-bop-ba-dop-bop. #

You know.

How old do you have to be to remember that one?

-Do something more recent! Do some pop.

-All right.

# It's all about the money, money, money. #

And that's your problem, Inel, you're too money driven. It was all right.

Well, I can do lots of different songs. What about you?

What else can you do?

Oh, come on, Inel, these prized assets need to be properly warmed up

before I can really deliver.

They can't just be banged out willy-nilly!

I'll help you out. Repeat after me.

Ahem.

# La-la-la-la-la-la-la

# La-la la-la la

# La la la. #

Now, it's your turn.

Yeah? All right then, I can do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

# La-ah-ah-ah-ahh!

-Whoa! Whoa!

-Yeah, I did sing that a bit out of key.

Let me go again, I'll do it in A minor this time.

# LA-ah-ah-argh-ah!

I mean, the thing is, I really need to sing something in my range.

Something that really connects with me, emotionally, like my song.

You know, there might be a spot for another vocalist on there.

You reckon? For real?

# I don't believe in death but I believe in life. #

'Have I gone too far this time?

'Is this too much for them?

'Am I overloading their brains?

'No, I'm getting through to them.

'This is something that will really stand them

'in good stead for later life.

'I'll push on!'

Right, so, if you move this over here and then you take back the X...

You what? Take back my ex?! No way!

No, not that ex, this one, with the two in front of it.

-Er, Sir, what are you trying to say? I've only had one ex.

-That's it!

But if you were to multiply your X by two you get...?

No end of trouble, do you know what I mean?

Ha, one ex is bad enough!

Oh, my gosh, the last one was so feisty!

Right, OK, let's just forget about the X.

-Totally with you, I've moved on.

-Right, and we'll think about the Y.

-Good question! Why did I bother?

-No, not that, "why," this Y.

-Why, what?

-Why?!

I'll tell you why, because he never texted me, never Tweeted me

and he spent all his time with his mates. # Took bad liberties! #

Sir, I suggest you get rid of the X and the Y

and you go for a P.

Good idea!

-I'll be back in five.

-# I swear down! #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Now, being the amazingly talented,

but also generous, stars that Jynel are,

we thought we'd try and give something back to the little man.

That's right, we're going to give you guys the opportunity

to star in the brand-new Jynel music video.

CHEERING

So, first up we've got three girls from Doncaster.

Very talented city, that.

-Yeah.

-Really love the place.

Take it away, girls.

MUSIC: "Wings" by Little Mix

# Mama told me not to waste my life

# She said, "Spread your wings my little butterfly."

# Don't let what they say keep you up at night

# And they can't detain you

# Cos wings are made to fly

# And we don't let nobody bring us down

# No matter what you say It won't hurt me

# Don't matter if I fall from the sky

# These wings are made to fly. #

OK, we're going to hold it there.

-Fantastic.

-What can I say? Three words, girls -

wow, wow and wow.

CHEERING

You know what, girls, you remind me much of myself at your age.

Obviously, I was a bit more talented

but great effort, great effort, girls.

-Thanks very much, girls, cheers.

-Cheers.

CHEERING

Right so, who's next?

Right, so, what's your name and where are you from?

My name's Caitlin and I'm from Middleton.

Why do you think you have what it takes

to appear on the debut Jynel single?

I'll show you.

# I want to sing and I want to shout

# And I want to scream till the words dry out

# So put it in all of the papers I'm not afraid

# They can read all about it

# Read all about it

# Oh, oh, oh. #

Thank you, thank you.

CHEERING

So, Johnny, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Yeah, she's good. In fact they've all been too good,

I think we'll keep it to just the two of us.

Yeah, you're probably right.

Don't call us, we'll call you.

See you later, love.

-AUDIENCE:

-Aww.

-Ah, do you know what, Inel?

-Yeah?

After seeing so much talent,

it makes me really want to showcase my own talent.

# I don't believe in death

-TOGETHER:

-# But I believe in life. #

FUNKY COP SHOW MUSIC

The target is at one o'clock.

Right.

Not that one o'clock. ONE o'clock.

Gotcha!

That's eight o'clock. ONE o'clock!

AM or PM?

-It doesn't matter.

-Right.

So it's a 24-hour clock then, yeah?

It's the same.

The target - the only other man in this area - is at one o'clock.

Gotcha.

Oh, no! My watch has stopped.

Oi, you. What time is it?

It's one o'clock.

Nice.

It's one o'clock.

Dinner time.

You've blown it, Carter.

Nice one, fella.

Oh, wait, hold up, I've got a bit of a nose issue.

Can you just pass me some tissue?

Oh, crazy rhymes, man!

It's like a dragon spitting fire!

Ohh!

See you later.

CHEERING

Welcome back to the singing sensation that is Jynel.

Right, next up we're going to teach you the official Jynel dance.

-Oh, yeah.

-You ready?

-Yeah!

OK, right, first thing we're going to do, guys,

is we're going to go straight into leaning to our right and going,

-"Be cool."

-That's it, that's it.

Then straight away we're going to turn to the left and say,

"Stay in school."

# We ain't got to be quiet

# We ain't got to be quiet

# But, please, don't riot

# So, please, don't riot. #

-That's right.

-OK.

The next thing we're doing is, we're wondering,

-"Is it a bird or is it a plane?"

-What is it?

Right, so.

# Is that a bird? Is that a plane?

# No, it's Jynel driving me insane. #

Really spin your head on that one, guys, you know,

cos you're going insane.

The next part is the chicken part, OK. Now, myself and Inel,

we always like to go for the orthodox chicken dance, you know.

Oh, yeah, but you can really make it your own, guys. Have fun with this.

So here it comes.

# I want some chicken from the shop

# And I won't stop eating until my stomach makes me stop. #

Really, really stop on that stop.

Make it pointed, you know. Stop, sharp, stop.

Now, at this stage, you know, myself and Inel, part of Jynel,

-we always like to pay respect to our mums.

-We do.

Cos they're who got us here. So it's...

# Help your mums

# With the shopping

# And if you do that

# Then we going to get it poppin' Poppin', poppin'. #

You know what, I think they've got it.

Let's take it from the top, from the start.

-From the top, let's go.

-Yeah. OK, I'll count you guys in.

Oh, this is it.

Must bounce, must bounce.

From the shoulders.

You know, let's get some attitude in there, you know, attitude. Cool.

I'm going to count you guys in.

Five, six, seven, eight...

# Be cool, stay in school

# Ain't gotta be quiet So, please, don't riot

# Is that a bird? Is that a plane?

# No, it's Jynel driving me insane.

# I want some chicken from the shop

# And I won't stop eating until my stomach makes me stop

# Help your mums

# With the shopping

# And if you do that

# Then we going to get it poppin' Poppin', poppin', poppin' poppin! #

Oh, look, they got it, they got it.

You guys know the official Jynel dance.

-I was on fire.

-You were. Phew!

Once upon a time,

a kid got dumped in the trash.

That kid discovered he had powers -

powers of the waste!

The thrilling adventures of Wasteman!

Hi, there. Liam Pain from the J and I News Network,

I have been looking for you, yes, you, Wasteman.

I want to make a new story on the new breed of superhero.

How did you find me?

This is a secret location. Did you use satellites?

Oh, no! I looked at your address in the phonebook. No secret, really.

Hm, well,

it's a secret from everyone else, so don't tell anyone, all right?

Right.

Wasteman, what is this marvel you are working on?

Well, this marvel of engineering is the Wastemobile.

Made from only the strongest and most durable waste products.

It's virtually indestructible.

If you rode about town in this, the police would think

you're crazy and arrest you before you could save the day.

-How did you get round here, Liam Piam?

-I walked.

Well, unfortunately, most super-villains don't walk,

they have getaway cars, so how am I meant to catch them

if I haven't got a vehicle?

Ha! I don't think you'll be catching any cars in this, Wasteman.

You'll get two feet down the road, the dustbin lids will roll off

and you'll go flying over the handlebars.

Ha! In fact, maybe then you'll be able to fly, Wasteman!

I could catch a car...

if I was going down a hill...

and it was braking.

Maybe I couldn't catch a car, but I could catch a guy on a scooter.

When have you ever seen a villain use a scooter?

Oh, I'm going to rob a bank. Now watch me escape on my scooter(!)

Until my flying powers come back, I need the Wastemobile,

so I'd appreciate it if you stopped having a go at me

and stopped having a go at the Wastemobile.

Ooooh!

Watch this.

Wastemobile, activate!

Wastemobile, turn on!

Wastemobile, wake up!

It must have thought you said, "Break up," Wasteman. Ha-ha!

CHEERING

Welcome back, guys, welcome back.

Yeah, so, we sorted out their singing,

now we're going to sort out their Jynel style.

Yeah, now, this is really important, as well, Inel.

Maybe we can get our guest of the week to help us

find our unique style, cos she always manages to look stylish.

-Sure.

-Shall we get her on the show?

Guys, please give it up for Tanya Lacey.

CHEERING

-Good to see you, Tanya.

-Hey.

-Nice to see you.

-Hey, how are you doing?

-Grab a seat.

-Hey, guys.

-Hi.

Right, let's take a look at your video, shall we?

MUSIC: "Too Many Cooks" by Tanya Lacey

# Too many, too many, too many

# Too many, too many, too many

# Too many, too many, too many

# Too many cooks in the kitchen

# There's too many Too many, too many

# Too many, too many, too many

# Too many, too many, too many

# Too many cooks in the kitchen.

# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

# Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yes. #

CHEERING

Now, Tanya, from that video, might I say, you're looking pretty cool?

Thank you very much.

How did you come up with your style? What would you describe it as?

It's all about being bold and colourful and making a statement

and just, you know, just daring to be different.

Johnny takes forever to get ready in the mornings,

whereas I take a couple of minutes.

How long does it take you to come up with the special Tanya Lacey style?

Honestly, it can take anywhere between one hour and a half

to two hours.

Yeah, a long time.

Well, Tanya, you've proved to us that you're very stylish and

obviously you've probably heard about the smash sensation that is Jynel.

-Obviously.

-Of course.

We're looking for our own unique kind of style.

-Could you help us find it?

-Most definitely. Let's do this.

-Well, let's do it.

-Right. Hey, hey.

No!

TOGETHER: No.

No.

No!

TOGETHER: No.

No!

No. No way!

You know what? We have to be more original.

-We've got to think of a style that's bigger, bolder, brighter.

-Yeah.

-I think Jynel really have to change direction.

-Hm.

It's amazing how I keep coming up with all this stuff.

It's like I'm permanently inspired.

Leave it with me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Johnny, where are you going?

We've still got our official Jynel music video to do.

Put a sketch on. >

All right.

Well, guys, give it up for Tanya Lacey.

CHEERING

Let's cut to a sketch.

SNORING

Hello!

Oh, hello and welcome.

Ever been sat in the park feeding the ducks

when a chit-chat from some youngsters nearby grabs your attention?

Not long after, you realise

you haven't the foggiest idea what they're actually saying.

Well, welcome to The Dictionary of What Kids Say.

Here, we'll be unveiling the hidden meanings

behind what your friends are saying.

This week's phrase is "I swear down."

Now, "I swear down" is a phrase used when one is serious

and telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Rather like, "I swear on my mother's life."

It is not to be used lightly.

Let's see it in action, shall we?

I swear down, Michelle. Oh, my gosh, Richie is lying.

Uh-huh. I swear down, I saw him going to the cinemas.

Mm-hm. I swear down!

Swear down.

"I swear down."

It's most useful when telling a story which is rather hard to believe.

And if you don't believe me, I swear down, it's the truth.

Join me next time, will you,

on The Dictionary of What Kids Say?

Is that it? We're just going to let him fall asleep, yeah?

Some of us have got homework to do.

I swear down!

COUGHING

# Be cool

-# Stay in school

-Yeah!

-# Ain't gotta be quiet

-No

-# But, please, don't riot

-That's what I said

-# Is that a bird?

-It isn't

-# Is that a plane?

-It isn't

# No, it's Jynel driving me insane.

# I want some chicken

# From the shop

-# And I won't stop eating

-Nope

# Until my stomach makes me stop

-# Help your mums

-Yeah!

# With the shopping

# And if you do that

# Then we going to get it poppin' Poppin', poppin', poppin'

# Jynel, Jynel Believe it fine, well

# Believe in life, believe in life

# Jynel, Jynel Believe it fine, well

# Believe in life, believe in life

# Believe in me, believe in you

# I don't believe you

-# But I believe in us

-Gotta believe!

# I believe in you, I believe in me

# I believe in us, I believe in we

# Believe that, believe me Believe you, believe us

# On a mad one, on a mad one On a mad one, oh

# On a mad one, on a mad one On a mad one

-# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

-He's on a mad one

-# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

-He's on a mad one

-# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

-He's on a mad one. #

-That was amazing.

-That was awesome.

-We could NOT look any cooler.

-We couldn't.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd