Episode 4 The Johnny & Inel Show

# My alarm wakes me up I'm ready to rise

# I splash water on my face to get the sleep out my eyes

# The sun's out shining I better stop rhyming

# Mum's always telling me "Fix up your timing!"

# Now we got a show on CBBC

# Sure all of my fans will be happy to see me

# It's sick cos the time is here

# Now sit back, relax and get ready to cheer

# We're doing well, as you can tell

-# So here comes the show with Johnny

-# And Inel. #

# Here's the birthday remix! It's the birthday remix!

# It's the birthday... Ricky, Ricky, Ricky!

# Ricky, r-r-remix! #

Sir's getting so feisty! Hee-hee, ho-ho!

He's taken the matter out of the classroom

and he's involving your family. Oh, my go-o-o-o-o-o-o-osh!

# Don't you leave me in the darkness Eh, eh, eh!

# How can you be so heartless?

# Woo! You've got my heart running faster than Usain, boy

# You've got this hold that I just can't get out my brain, boy... #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Ha-ha! And welcome to The Johnny And Inel Show!

-Yoo-yoo, woo-woo! Woo-woo-woo-woo! Ha-ha!

-Hmm...

Right, I guess it's time for that part of the day,

it's Greet of the Week!

Oh, I'm really excited, I've got a really good one as well.

Watch, watch, watch...

-BOTH:

-Ah! Ah! Ah! Boom!

Right, guys, now it's time for you to try as well, so are you ready?

Stand up, let's do this, let's do this!

Are you ready? So it's paper, scissors, rock. Ready, go!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Boom! Ha-ha!

Oh, they got it, they got it!

-Awesome! Cheers, guys! Thank you. I like that, I like that.

-Ha-ha!

Why are you so excited today?

I'm always excited, man.

Yeah, but you're more excited than usual.

You're just bouncing around like a crazed hyena

that's just won the lottery! You haven't won the lottery, have you?

Cos if you have, I am pretty sure

I'm entitled to at least 50% of that.

Don't pretend like you don't know...

(It's my birthday today.)

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Yeah, of course I knew it was your birthday (!)

Yeah, I was just checking if you forgot in your old age!

Ha-ha! I knew you hadn't forgotten,

because you must've been planning my birthday for months.

Eh, remember when you said you was going to plan my birthday

at YOUR birthday party?

Yeah, how could I forget...

This party was awesome, Inel.

Next year, I'm going to organise the most amazing,

spectacular birthday party ever for you!

Ho-ho! The birthday cake was massive!

And delicious...

And those balloon animals were wicked.

The balloon baboon was my favourite.

AND Rihanna sang you Happy Birthday.

Yes, she did.

Ha-ha! Yeah, AND I found your long-lost cousin

from the North Pole, Eskimo Bob!

Ha-ha! Oh, yeah, Eski-Bob!

Oh, do you remember when he nearly wet himself?

Yeah, yeah! Because he couldn't find where the...ig-LOO was!

LAUGHTER

-Ha-ha! Just ig-LOO!

-Yeah, I got it.

-Toilet.

-I got it.

-Loo...

-Yeah.

But don't worry about it anyway. Your birthday's going

to surpass that in every way! This is going to be the best party ever!

It's going to be more spectacular, bigger, bolder, amazing!

-Oh! I can't wait!

-You should just go and get ready for it.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, go, go.

-Just go off now, yeah?

-You go, go now...

-Get ready?

-Please, go.

-Get ready for the show.

-Straightaway, mate.

-Oh, I can't wait for this.

-See you later.

-It's going to be good, innit?!

-Toodle-pip, cheerio. Peace out.

-Yep.

-Toot?

-Yep. See ya.

Oh, no! I forgot his birthday!

AUDIENCE GASPS

No, no. I've got enough time, I can pull this around, yeah.

Just go to a sketch, to a sketch.

Kids, tired of sharing your hard-earned sweets?

Yum-yum-yum!

Tired of your mates blagging the best of your pick-and-mix?

Well, you need Scabbyfingers.

Scabbyfingers - one size fits all.

Scabbyfingers - when you just don't feel like sharing!

Order your Scabbyfingers today!

Mmm! De-licious!

'I can't believe I got myself into this.

'Why didn't I get a safer job than teacher?

'Like, lion-tamer!

'Them lions ain't so bad.'

Oi, sir! You stink!

Oh, my go-o-osh! Did you hear that, did you hear that, you hear that?!

I swe-e-ear down, he just said Sir stinks! Did you hear that?

He said Sir stinks! He said Sir stinks!

Oh, my days, sir! You're going to have to do something.

You're going to have to do something! Sir, sir, sir, sir, sir!

Do something!

Oh, no disrespect to you, yeah, sir,

but if I was you in this situation,

I wouldn't take that, I wouldn't take that, nah!

'The boy's right.

'You must say something or they won't respect you.'

Your mum stinks!

CLASS GASPS

Of...

carrots.

Oh-my-go-o-o-o-o-o-osh!

Sir's getting so feisty!

Hee-hee, ho-ho!

He's taken the matter out of the classroom

and he's involving your family. Oh, my go-o-o-o-o-sh!

I mean, what does a carrot even smell like?

Have you ever smelt a good carrot?

ALL: No!

Well, then.

WHISPERS RIPPLE ACROSS CLASS

CHEERING

Music, invitations, sandwiches!

I've got so much stuff to do for Inel's birthday

and I'm running out of time! Argh!

LAUGHTER

-INEL:

-# Da-da-da, da-da-da! Da-da, dah! # >

Oh, no, he's coming!

INEL APPROACHES SINGING

Inel! It's Inel, everybody!

CHEERING

Ha-ha! What's happening? What's happening, everybody? Ha-ha!

So, er...what's all this, eh?

What's, er... What's this?

Oh, just a few surprises for your birthday,

-but, go on, ruin everything, yeah.

-Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

-That's not really good enough, but...whatever.

-So, erm...

(Hey, er...)

How's all the prep going?

Prep?!

Yeah. Well, the prep for my er...birthday party, yeah.

Oh, the preparation! Yeah, it's going real well.

Consider it prepped to the max! Prep-a-rooned! prep-a-manger!

Ha-ha! That's cool, cos, er, deep down, I was thinking,

"Uh! Johnny's going to forget your birthday.

"Johnny ain't going to remember your birthday,

"he ain't going to plan nothing!"

A-And you didn't, so I just wanted to say sorry, man.

Thanks. You're a good friend, man.

Uh... Don't mention it...

Honestly.

EXPLOSION

Oh, whoa, whoa! What was that?

That? It's pyrotechnics! Don't worry about that. Yeah...!

-Smells like chocolate.

-No, no, don't worry.

-Told you I'm going all out for your birthday.

-Oh, right.

Yeah. Look, mate, seriously, I've got a lot of stuff to do

for your birthday, OK? And I can't be entertaining you

at the same time. yeah. One miracle at a time. I'm not Mary Poppins!

-That's cool...

-You've got to go out, mate.

-OK.

-Listen, I've organised a day for you at a beauty salon.

They promised they could even make YOU look handsome.

-Yeah, you just go.

-You sure?

-Keep going through those doors.

-OK, but...

-Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

-Do I need anything?

-You keep going, then. You keep going.

-How do I know where to find...?

-Outside... Don't worry about...

My cake! Argh! It's on fire!

My cake's on fire!

Did someone say fire?

Yeah, I did.

LAUGHTER

Once upon a time, a kid got dumped in the trash.

That kid discovered he had powers!

Powers of the Waste!

The Thrilling Adventures Of...

..Wasteman!

Somebody help me, please!

HEROIC MUSIC

You all right, mate?

Do you think that'll be all right there?

Er, I reckon so, yeah.

Anyway, you called?

No, I don't think I did.

So what seems to be the problem?

Car's broke down - it's a piece of junk.

Well, I guess it's lucky for you that the Master of Junk has arrived.

Y-You reckon you can fix it?

Oh, yeah. One of my waste powers is being able to talk to the junk

and get it working again.

Step back.

Rrrraaaaargh!

I command you to move!

Yeah, that's done it. Jump in, mate, give it a spin.

ENGINE TURNS AND DIES

-Are you turning it all the way?

-Yes!

I'll have to push you, mate.

HE GRUNTS WITH THE STRAIN

-You can take the handbrake off now.

-I have!

Sorry, I don't wish to complain, but...are you meant to be a hero?

You say you can help me by touching my car and saying something weird,

but you haven't even got the strength to get it moving!

It is pretty heavy, to be fair. Even my waste strength

can't get it moving. It's these weak wrists, you see.

And who are you now?!

Is this a fancy-dress party?

Yeah! Who are you?!

I am...

Bearman! I'm here to give you a hand.

To be fair, mate, it's pretty heavy.

Even my waste strength couldn't get it moving,

so doubt you'd be able to help.

That's where you're wrong, for I have the strength of a bear.

Not just one bear...but bear bears.

All right. Give us a hand, then. Jump in, mate.

HE GRUNTS WITH THE STRAINS

-Come on, then. You going to help or what?!

-Yeah.

I've just got to summon up my powers. Powers of the bear.

Rrraaaarrrghhh!

Rrraaaarrrghhh!

Ready.

THEY STRAIN

Ah, come on!

ENGINE STARTS UP

THEY STRAIN

-Wow, you were right. You WERE strong.

-Well, you know.

Maybe we could work together again in the future.

Yeah? Well that's if you can... "bear" me.

HE LAUGHS

-Yes, all right. I'll do the jokes.

-All right.

HEROIC MUSIC

Forgot.

MUSIC RESUMES

NEWS JINGLE

Hi, I'm Boris Horace.

And I'm Noris Gloris.

And welcome to the J & I News Network.

Our top story today, it's Inel's birthday.

-POP!

-Happy days.

Indeed.

And TV host Johnny Cochrane

has promised to organise Inel's birthday.

Only problem is, he's forgotten.

Oh, what a tragedy.

It is indeed, Boris.

Will Johnny Cochrane be able to organise the birthday party in time?

Stay tuned for the latest developments.

Hey, Noris, remember when we went out for your birthday?

Oh, my bowling party.

Yes, we had such fun we forgot to get our shoes back.

Ha, ha, ha! Such nincompoops we were.

Such nincompoops.

Ah...

Still got them on to this day.

INEL LAUGHS

-Look at that red stripe.

-I look rather fetching.

-Mmm.

-Although this position is kind of awkward.

-Mmm.

-Mmm.

-That's yoga.

-Oh, right.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

What do you mean your flight's been delayed?

What are you doing in Russia in the first place?

I've booked you to perform at Inel's birthday -

I know you're his favourite artist. What am I supposed to do now?

I've got to pick up the pieces.

Listen, after all I've done for you...

What do you mean I haven't done anything for you?

I bought your last two albums, Jay-Z!

GENTLE LAUGHTER

Look, I have not got time for this. I've got to go.

Great(!) Now I've got no artist to perform at Inel's birthday

and I've got no time to send these invitations.

PHONE RINGS

-Hello.

-'Hey, Johnny.'

-You all right, Inel?

-'Yeah, listen,

'I know you're going all out for my party and that...'

You can say that again.

'Well, it's this beauty parlour, Johnny,

'they keep waxing my legs.

'They just stepped out to get more wax. That's why I'm calling.'

Listen, Inel, don't be so ungrateful -

there are plenty of people

that would love to change places with you.

'Yes, but... Oh, no. Oh no, they're back. Argh!

'Please no! Not again. Not again!'

'Someone hold him down!'

-See you later, Inel.

-'Argh!'

Ah, he sounds like he's having fun. Let's cut to a sketch.

We can't find these diamonds anywhere.

I've used a pickaxe and everything - nothing there.

-The whole level was empty.

-We're ready for you now, please.

Oh, cool. Cheers, Mel.

Oh, wicked. These pictures are cool.

I used to do paintings like this when I was in school.

Ohhh! Mad rhymes, mad rhymes!

Lyrical genius.

BELL RINGS

See you later.

You're going to have to go. You're needed on set, go.

Go, shorty. It's your birthday,

we're going to party like it's my birthday,

everybody knows it's my birthday. Yeah, boy, yeah, boy, yeah!

-Agh!

-Happy birthday!

# It's the birthday remix It's the birthday remix

# It's the birthday remix Ricky, Ricky

# Ricky, re-re-re-remix! #

-Look at this.

-MUSIC PLAYS

HE LAUGHS

What do you think, Inel? Not too shabby, eh?

What are you doing?

And, Johnny, why's there Rastamouse decorations hanging up?

Well, you're half Jamaican.

I thought you might appreciate a bit of Rasta in the party.

Party, man!

GENTLE LAUGHTER

Oh, bread and butter sandwiches?!

You told me you used to eat them as a kid.

I used to sat them. Didn't like them, though.

-I used to start crying.

-Oh, right.

Oh, look at this...

This cake is burnt.

It's not burnt - it's just well done. Look.

Mmm!

That is delicious.

Well done? That's steak, not cake.

Same thing.

I got that recipe off Mary Berry. Top gateau, that.

I'm being silly. I mean, sorry, I should appreciate it.

Birthday's aren't about food and presents -

it's about celebrating with family and friends.

So, er, where are they, then? Eh?

Are they...they around here?

Yeah, about that, Inel.

Are they around there?

-No, must be hiding.

-Inel, I meant to tell you,

I kind of thought this party should be a bit more exclusive,

-you know, VIP only.

-Oh, right!

-Yeah.

Just only close friends and family.

But there's no-one here.

Don't be silly.

Look, our mums are over there.

-Happy birthday, Inel!

-Happy birthday, Inel!

See? I think it's time for a song.

# Head, shoulders Knees and toes, knees and toes!

-# Head, shoulders, knees and toes Knees and toes... #

-Johnny...

-# And eyes and ears and mouth and nose... #

-Johnny!

Stop trying to convince me that this is a good party.

Now, let me get this straight.

You're playing guitar because you forgot to book an act,

this isn't chocolate cake, this is a burnt cake,

and you've organised it so poorly that the only people

you managed to get here on short notice are our mums.

And did you guys know about all of this?

Yeah!

You know what the worst thing is?

Deep down inside, I knew this was going to happen.

AUDIENCE: Aw!

Inel, wait!

Inel! Come back. Inel, come on.

Johnny! Johnny!

Not now. I've got to make it up to Inel somehow.

But it's a really important phone call about Inel's birthday.

Look, I'd take it if I were you.

I hope this is good news.

-Right, welcome back.

-Whoa! Hold on,

let me do the intro. You always get to do the intro.

Hi, everybody. It's manjimbo28 here,

and you might know me for having the fastest speed run

on Super Builder Brothers.

And I'm shotcaller007,

record point scorer on Dance Dance Rebellion - Banjo Edition.

And welcome to another episode of...

BOTH: Super Game Reviewers!

A lot of people don't know this,

but last week, they released a new update for Productive Teenager 2.

-Version 2.1 in the change log.

-Ha!

-Game on!

-Game on!

Right, now, these levels aren't compulsory,

and you can actually skip past these,

but we reckon it's worth taking the time to do,

and you can earn valuable respect points.

-Set me up.

-Right.

Have you done your homework?

Yes, Mum.

Did you take out the rubbish?

Yes, Mum.

What's up, losers?

Viewers, this is Nasty Arthur.

He's a well-known gaming nuisance in the community.

He cheats on his speed runs

and he trolls on numerous gaming forums. Do not engage with him.

Nigel, are you up there?

Go away, Mum!

Leave the game now, Nasty Arthur.

-You're spoiling our review.

-Yeah!

Oh, no! I'm spoiling your review(!)

And you're breaking guild rules.

Thou shall not enter one's game without a personal invite.

Who else is up there with you, Nigel?

-Hiya, Mrs Bond!

-Hiya, Cyril!

Nigel? Cyril? Ha-ha! this keeps getting better and better.

This is going to make an epic thread on the forums.

Internet safety cannot be taken lightly, Nasty Arthur.

You are crossing the line.

Nigel, stop being a bad host and make Cyril a snack or summat.

Mum, go away!

Yeah, Nigel!

Oh, I can't take this any more!

I'm sick of this guy joining games when he's not been invited

and ruining the gaming community for everyone!

We've got crisps. Does he like crisps?

Ask him if he wants some crisps.

Do you want some crisps?

Yeah.

What flavours have you got?

Cheese and onion.

Nah, they don't settle with me. You got prawn cocktail?

MUSIC: "Un-Break My Heart" by Toni Braxton

# La-la-la-la-la-la-la!

# Oh-whoa, oh-whoa

# Woo-woo, woo-woo oo-oo, woo-oo!

# Woo-woo

# Woo

-#

-(HIGH-PITCHED)

-Don't leave me in all this pain

# Don't leave me without presents to play-ay-ay-ay

# Bring back them Bring back my smile

# Come and take these tears away

# I need my friends I need them now

# This night is so unki-i-ind

# Bring back the nights when we partied for three days

-#

-(DEEPER)

-Un-break my heart!

# Say it's all my friends

# Undo this hurt that you caused when you walked out the door

# And didn't plan my party

# Un-cry these tears

# I cried so many, many Many, many times

# Un-break my hear-ear-eart

# Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... #

KNOCKING

Erm... Johnny wants to see you.

Well, tell him he can't see me!

But he says it's important.

What does he want to do now, blow the candles off my cake?

Come on. Don't know why I bother with him.

ALL: Surprise!

Wow! This is incredible.

Yeah, a top-class birthday for a top-class mate.

Oh, cheers, man.

Hey, thanks for sorting out this for me,

and I'm sorry for shouting at you as well.

Yeah, and I'm sorry for leaving everything till the last minute.

You deserve better than that.

Hey, hey.

-Uh.

-Uh.

-Ah.

-Ah.

BOTH: Boom!

No. That's enough emotions for one day.

-Let's just enjoy the party, eh? Oh, and Inel...

-Yeah?

I've got your favourite singer, yeah,

and someone I've done a tremendous amount for,

and she'd better not forget it,

so, guys, please welcome...

A.M.E.

CHEERING

Happy birthday, Inel.

All right, kids, let's party. Hands in the air and clap.

MUSIC: "Heartless"

Go as high as you can.

# I can hear the beat of your bass

# Hear the beat of your bass Got me running excited

# Come on over, give me a taste

# Come on, give me a taste

# Yeah, you set me on fire

# Turn the lights down low

# Won't you find me in the darkness

# Be my Romeo

# Baby, don't you be so heartless

# Cos I been counting down the hours on the clock, waiting for you tonight

# Boy, don't leave me lying here Slowly going out of my mind

# You don't know what you do, what you do when you turn out the lights

# Don't you leave me in the darkness Hey, hey, hey

# No, don't you be so heartless. #

Everybody, jump!

Woo!

# How could you be so heartless?

# Don't you leave me in the darkness Hey, hey, hey

# How could you be so heartless?

# You've got my heart running faster than Usain, boy

# You got this hold that I just can't get out my brain, boy

# You seem to light me up With you, I always feel on top

# Yeah, you've got my heart running faster than Usain

# Got me all excited

# Boy, you got me

# Won't you find in the darkness

# You elevate me higher You elevate me

# Baby, don't you be so heartless

# Cos I been counting down the hours on the clock, waiting for you tonight

# Boy, don't leave me lying here Slowly going out of my mind

# You don't know what you do, what you do when you turn out the lights

# Don't you leave me in the darkness

# Hey, hey, hey

# No, don't you be so heartless. #

Get ready. Jump!

# How could you be so heartless?

# Don't you leave me in the darkness

# Hey, hey, hey

# How could you be so heartless?

# I know what I want and you seem right

# Playing hard to get No, it's not right

# All these girls, yeah They're after you

# All these girls, yeah Including me too

# Uh-huh, you're above the rest

# Can't compare you You are the best

# Be mine and forget them all Me and you, unforgettable

# You don't know what you do, what you do when you turn out the lights

# Don't you leave me in the darkness Hey, hey, hey

# No, don't you be so heartless. #

Hey, hey, jump!

All right, guys, till next time,

we're going to keep making it look good...

The only way Johnny and Inel could!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd