Episode 8 The Johnny & Inel Show


Episode 8

Comedy series. Inel decides to throw a party episode and Johnny is keen to put a stop to it, until prizes are mentioned. MKS pop in for some Bants in the Booth.


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Transcript


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Hello and welcome to The Johnny And Inel Show, guys.

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ALARM RINGS

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# My alarm wakes me up I'm ready to rise

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# I splash some water on my face to get the sleep out of my eyes

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# The sun's out shining I better stop rhyming

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# As Mum's always telling me fix up your timing

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# Now we got a show on CBBC

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# Sure all of my fans will be happy to see me

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# It's sick cos the time is here

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# Now sit back, relax and get ready to cheer

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# We're doing well as you can tell

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-# So here comes the show with Johnny

-And Inel. #

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Coming up on today's show.

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MKS.

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I've been waiting for this day.

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Who's the biggest diva out of you three?

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Keisha?

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I was about to say we're not.

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The Only Way Is Blondie.

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Like she'd marry you!

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You're like old, and like your hair's like proper dodge,

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and don't even get me started about your suit cos like the threads are like terrible.

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And we take a trip to the Rampz.

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This can't go on, Darryl.

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One of us is going to have to leave the Rampz.

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So let's get started and get to the studio.

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Hello and welcome to The Johnny And Inel Show.

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First up, let's meet the crew.

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There's Dinah the producer,

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she's in charge.

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Brennan the director,

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I'm not sure what he does though.

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Driving the decks in the studio,

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we have Gayle the DJ

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and driving me mad

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-is Mo the runner.

-Thanks.

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Now today, Johnny has kindly let me take charge of the show.

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So I've decided to throw a party!

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CHEERING

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Oh, yeah. Johnny, why don't you give us a drum roll to get it started?

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DRUM ROLL

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That was nice, that was nice. Do it again.

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SAME DRUM ROLL Why am I even on drums?

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That was amazing. Coming up on my awesome party episode,

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we've got some amazing games.

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DRUM ROLL

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And the biggest and best tunes which are going to make this

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the most incredible Johnny And Inel Show episode ever!

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I think Inel might be getting a bit carried away.

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So let's get this party started!

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Hold up, I haven't said a thing!

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Now it's time for world wrestling, Johnny and Inel style.

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You've never seen anything like this.

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This weekend, one of the most hotly anticipated line-ups.

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It's the Dentist

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versus the Waiter.

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If there is one thing in this world, Dentist, that I cannot stand

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it's when people don't say please and thank you.

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Please.

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You, Dentist, look like someone who has bad manners.

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Someone who puts their elbows on the table.

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Or you eat with your mouth open.

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And someone who never leaves a tip.

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Here's a tip for you.

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Why don't you brush twice a day and floss regularly?

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Good advice.

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What kind of a tip is that? I'm going to make your life a living nightmare.

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I'm going to drink loads of fizzy drinks.

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I'm going to eat so many sherbet fountains that they come out

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of my nose and I'm never, ever going to brush my teeth before I go to bed!

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Well, if that's the case, I'm looking forward to tipping you

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back into my chair, poking you with my descaler

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and telling you you're going to get gum disease within six months.

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You'd better take a card.

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I would.

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Now get ready to rinse and spit.

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Tune in this Saturday to find out the resolution of this battle,

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only on WWJI.

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I like this Norris fellow.

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I've definitely struck gold with Norris.

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-Is this guy ever going to leave?

-Will you marry me?

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Oh, my golly-golly-go-o-o-o-o-osh.

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PHONE RINGS

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Sorry, I really have to take this.

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Hugo, talk to me.

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You're taking a phone call mid-proposal?

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It's my agent. OK, yeah. Go on.

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Go on.

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Hugo, talk to me about when. And how long for?

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How much money will I earn, Hugo?

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I could not take that, Hugo, I'd rather eat my own toenails.

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OK, I'll eat my own toenails. I'll take it.

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I'll just finish up here and get a taxi to the airport.

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Denise, what can I say?

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"I'm a vain and shallow person and you're far too good for me."

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You put it so well.

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I can see where your daughter gets her way with words from.

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Oh, my golly-golly-gosh, like she'd marry you!

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You're like old, and like your hair's like proper dodge,

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and don't even get me started about your suit cos like the threads are like terrible.

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Yeah.

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Shall we say au revoir?

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I can't do any more.

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You could do so much better than him anyway, Mum.

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I was happy with him.

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Oh, my dizzy, dizzy days.

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Are you kidding me? Happy with him?

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"Hi, I'm Norris Glorris, and I can barely remember

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"my girlfriend's name without an autocue."

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-Way to pick them, Mum.

-You didn't even try with him.

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It's all right for you, everybody loves Blondie.

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"Oh, my golly-golly-gosh."

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-What? You think it's my fault?

-Everything is not about you.

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-The world does not revolve around you.

-What's that supposed to mean?

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It means step out of your bubble

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and focus on someone else for a change.

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-Are you trying to say I'm selfish?

-Yes, I am, young lady.

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I'm sorry for coming along and ruining your life, Denise.

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Stepton High's Got Talent. Oh, my gosh. First prize VIP tickets,

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backstage, access all areas, go where you want to, no restrictions,

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super special tickets to the best concert to date!

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Then I guess this challenge is officially on.

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Oh, it's on.

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It couldn't be any more on.

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Now let's check in on Grumpy Beanie and Cheeky Fro Fro.

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Beanie. Beanie. Beanie!

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Fine. If you're going to just ignore me,

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I'll have to amuse myself by telling some jokes.

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No, no. It's fine, don't tell no jokes.

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So you were ignoring me?

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-Wagwan anyway, Fro Fro?

-I just wanted to ask you something.

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What? What you want to know?

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I just wanted to know

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if you knew what the difference between guffing and singing was?

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What kind of stupid question is that?

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Beanie, the difference between guffing and singing

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is I'm not about to start singing.

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FRO FRO BREAKS WIND

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BEANIE SNIFFS

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FRO FRO LAUGHS

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Argh, that's disgusting, Fro Fro!

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That's low even for you!

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That was a good one!

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What did you eat?

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Come on, Beanie. It's just jokes.

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Chill out!

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Let's go back to the party in the studio.

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Johnny, did I mention it was fancy dress?

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Welcome back to the show, guys.

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We've got to crack on with some general admin.

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Let's get on with greet of the week, shall we?

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APPLAUSE

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Greet of the week's not so easy in this suit.

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-Don't worry about it, you look good, man.

-Do I?

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I think I look pretty ridiculous. Don't you think, guys?

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Cheers.

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Are you sure they didn't have any of these silly suits in your size?

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They only had Super Slick Man left.

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Don't worry. It wouldn't be an Inel party without a bunch of crazy costumes.

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How long is this Inel party episode going to last for?

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-Ask him.

-Please don't.

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Forget about greet of the week anyway. We want more glitter, don't we, guys?

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No, no!

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Quick, cut to a sketch.

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Let's go to the Rampz.

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We are here at the Rampz and today I'm joined by Darryl and his friend.

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I'm Darryl. You already know me,

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aka, Ghost Rider, aka Big Biker Boss! Boom!

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And that's Leon, innit.

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-Our motto is "We like to bike."

-You like to bike.

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So where's your brother?

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Let me put it like this, make it real simple for you.

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Imagine, yeah, there's a rat, and that rat has two kids.

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One of them kids turned out to be an elephant - wicked -

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and one of them kids turned out to be a rat just like his dad.

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Does that make them half-brothers?

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So are you the rat or the elephant?

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What are you trying to say? Obviously I'm the elephant.

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Chad is the rat cos he's spoilt like a brat. Spoilt brat rat.

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What is it that makes you say he's spoiled?

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-Just take a look.

-Oh, hi, guys.

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-So is that a new board I see there, Chad?

-Yeah, my dad got it for me.

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It's electric.

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I realised I was wasting too much energy pushing my other

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-one along with my leg.

-Right. Was it a birthday present or something?

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No, no. He just got it for me. It's because my old one was looking old.

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It's not as good as my one I had last year, though.

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That was worth, like, 700 or something. Wasn't it, Glenn?

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I don't know. I wasn't there.

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OK, well, Glenn wasn't there, but, like, I did have that board.

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-It was, like, worth 750...

-Obviously, there is

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a lot of tension between the bikers and the skaters.

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Is there any hope of any peace between you guys?

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I can't stand that loser Darryl. I'm never going to get along with him.

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Where is my locally-sourced piccalilli?

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This lunch is just so uncool!

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Is there nothing that can bring you guys together?

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-Wow! Who's that?

-Wait here, guys.

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Hey, yo!

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Hey, yo!

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We ain't got time, yeah, for people coming round here on two wheels.

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-Yeah, get out of here.

-Whatever.

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Oh, come on, guys.

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And you as well, Chad, bring your board out of here, man.

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Look, this can't go on, Darryl.

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-One of us is going to have to leave the Rampz.

-Yeah?

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Well, go on, then.

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See you later.

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No, Darryl, that competition, I'll face you one on one,

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and the loser needs to get out the Rampz for good.

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That's fine by me, yeah - it's a quick way of me getting you

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and your loser skate crew off my ramps. I'm up for that.

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Darryl, you're about to see a skater in complete control

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and at the top of his game.

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Yeah, you tell him, Chad.

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What is going on with this thing? Help, guys! Stop it!

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-Yo, Chad, go home, man.

-Are you all right there, Chad?

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Go home, Chad, man, go home.

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So Chad and Darryl will be battling it out for top spot in the Rampz.

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Who is it going to be?

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This is an emergency.

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We need School Room Solutions.

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Kids, football playtime is fun, but accidents can happen.

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That ball could end up on the roof, under a car or even down a drain.

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We at the Recreation Accident Club can help.

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Our personnel are trained to retrieve footballs,

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basketballs, tennis balls and even Frisbees stuck up a tree.

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Just relax and let us do all the work.

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And also take advantage of our bonus package.

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Our neighbour negotiation for next-door garden retrieval,

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pond retrieval and our superduper stinging nettle retrieval.

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We are the Recreation Accident Club for you.

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It's Bants In The Booth time. Who will be in the booth today?

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Let's find out.

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-Who's that?

-Is that MKS?

-No! No! I been waiting for this day.

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-What's going on, girls?

-Wait, wait. Spud me.

-Hello!

-Hello.

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Me too.

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-Hello!

-Hello!

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# Stay gone, darling, I won't hang on

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# I can feel the flatline

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# That oughta be a wave... #

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-So we got to ask them something, ask them something.

-Me first, obviously.

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I'm the biggest fan. So, MKS, how did you girls come about?

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Well, we started over ten years ago,

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-and we named ourselves Sugababes.

-Hey-hey!

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And we're now reformed again and we call ourselves MKS,

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which is short for Mutya, Keisha, Siobhan.

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Oh, yeah, they've copied us for inspiration.

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-J and I.

-I see you've got a new album coming out. What's it called?

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-We do, but we're not allowed to say. Sorry!

-Is it MKS?

-No.

-Now.

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-Is it Sugar And Spice And All Things Nice?

-No.

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-Put that on the list, though.

-That sounds good, though.

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It should be that, if it isn't.

0:14:530:14:55

When we break the news, we'll call you first.

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Everybody who watches the show knows that Johnny is a bit of a diva.

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Who is the biggest diva out of you three?

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-Keisha.

-Keisha.

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-I was about to say, we're not.

-Keisha, I should've known.

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So, girls, you been in the business ten years.

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Who's been the coolest person you've met so far?

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Just recently I got to meet Brandy and she was, like, my ultimate,

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since I was young, I love Brandy. She was everything I thought.

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-Jay-Z was pretty cool.

-Oh, you met Jay-Z?

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Yeah, I got to hang out with him, actually.

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We were in this VIP area, I felt very cool.

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All right, ladies, all that is left to be said is thank

0:15:330:15:36

you very much for coming into the booth.

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We might as well crack on with taking these photos. One, two, three.

0:15:390:15:42

-Hold it there.

-Hold it.

-Hold it.

-Hold it.

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-Hold that.

-Hold it.

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-Hold it, I'm about to take it.

-Keep it there.

-Hold it.

-Keep it.

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Hold it. Ho-o-o-o-old it.

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Oh, my God!

0:15:590:16:01

-Stop it!

-Just go ahead and wait outside for them photos.

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-We'll print them out now.

-Five minutes, just wait outside.

0:16:060:16:09

Let's get back to the studio.

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Right, unfortunately, we've had to end the party early,

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because I've had an allergic reaction to the fat suit.

0:16:240:16:27

AUDIENCE: Aw!

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That's a shame, as well, right before the competition.

0:16:280:16:30

-What competition?

-The competition to win my amazing prizes.

0:16:300:16:35

What amazing prizes, Inel?

0:16:350:16:36

Well, there was quite a few amazing prizes,

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but the main one is this games console.

0:16:390:16:41

Not THE games console?

0:16:410:16:43

The games console I have been going on about for ever.

0:16:430:16:46

-Yep, that games console. Plus games.

-Let's not be too hasty!

0:16:460:16:52

Don't want to completely kill the party atmosphere.

0:16:520:16:56

-Is the competition musical statues?

-No, it's pass the parcel, mate.

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Musical statues it is. I'd better go and get ready.

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While we get ready for musical statues,

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let's go and check out Rudy and Boyyer in the supermarket. Baggit!

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Family pack of toilet roll, baggit! Family bag of crisps, baggit!

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-Family bag of cola, baggit! Family pack of beans...

-Baggit!

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-You got family everything up in here.

-Family man, you get me?

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That will be £15.26. Let me go ahead

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-and take your loyalty card as well.

-No, I don't have one.

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-What was that?

-I said I don't have a loyalty card.

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The man has got all family items and no loyalty card to back it up.

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-I can't see the point in having one.

-What is it?

0:17:470:17:51

The loyalty or the card that you have a problem with, bruv?

0:17:510:17:54

Both.

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-We's gonna go off!

-That's the problem.

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Too many people want to go around buying family items

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and not have the loyalty card to back it up, bruv.

0:18:040:18:07

Boyyer, take over this transaction, bruv.

0:18:070:18:10

To be fair, man, he had to raise himself, you get me?

0:18:120:18:14

But on another note, though, you could have earned 22 points

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on this transaction today if you did have a loyalty card.

0:18:190:18:22

Just makes economical sense.

0:18:220:18:25

Yeah, OK.

0:18:250:18:27

I must sign you up, then. There you go.

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Just when you thought it was safe,

0:18:300:18:32

let's head back to some more Beenie and Fro Fro.

0:18:320:18:36

-How are you, Beenie?

-Oh, not today, Fro Fro.

0:18:360:18:41

Me feeling kind of sheepish.

0:18:410:18:43

-That's funny, that is.

-Funny? Why that funny?

0:18:430:18:47

Well, I've got a joke to tell that reminds me of a sheep as well.

0:18:470:18:52

-Oh, why, oh, why, oh, why?

-What do you...?

0:18:520:18:56

-Stop. Stop right there, Fro Fro.

-OK.

0:18:560:19:00

-Keep your beanie on, Beenie.

-Thank you.

0:19:010:19:05

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

0:19:050:19:09

A cloud! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!

0:19:090:19:11

-Animals without limbs isn't funny, Fro Fro!

-A cloud is just a cloud.

0:19:110:19:18

It's just a joke!

0:19:180:19:21

HE SIGHS

0:19:210:19:23

Have you ever found yourself rhyming accidentally?

0:19:230:19:25

Let me show what happens if I'm around when you do.

0:19:250:19:27

I was showing Johnny and Inel these moves and then Inel comes out

0:19:270:19:31

-and does it and he whacks his leg.

-Hi, girls.

0:19:310:19:35

Loving the costumes, they look pretty cool.

0:19:350:19:37

Not sure about you, Darce, you look like a fool.

0:19:370:19:40

INCREDIBLE!

0:19:400:19:43

Wait, check it, check it. Rewind, rewind.

0:19:430:19:47

Loving the costumes, girls, you look pretty cool.

0:19:470:19:51

Not sure about you, Darce, you look like a fool.

0:19:510:19:54

A-a-a-ah!

0:19:540:19:55

See you later.

0:19:550:19:58

-I look like a fool, yeah?

-I didn't mean what I said, man.

0:20:000:20:03

Back to the wrestling ring, WWJI style.

0:20:030:20:06

Finally, we get to see Dr Grammer.

0:20:080:20:11

Versus...

0:20:130:20:15

the Mime!

0:20:150:20:17

I'm going to cut and paste your semi-colon.

0:20:190:20:24

I'm going to split your infinitive.

0:20:250:20:29

You're going to be so confused that you're not going to use

0:20:290:20:33

the correct form of your.

0:20:330:20:36

You won't even know I am there, I am like the letter G in "gnome".

0:20:380:20:43

MIME MUSIC

0:20:430:20:47

Silent.

0:20:470:20:50

Blue cheese and garlic?!

0:20:580:20:59

That's fighting talk.

0:21:040:21:07

BELL RINGS

0:21:070:21:08

MUSIC STOPS

0:21:080:21:09

You do not want to miss this.

0:21:120:21:14

Tickets go on sale midnight tonight, book now to avoid disappointment.

0:21:140:21:18

CHEERING

0:21:220:21:23

Get ready, guys, it's time to play musical statues.

0:21:250:21:28

DISCO MUSIC

0:21:280:21:30

MUSIC STOPS

0:21:310:21:33

Oh, you're out for starters. You're out.

0:21:330:21:35

Ah, you're out, I'm afraid.

0:21:350:21:37

MUSIC BEGINS

0:21:370:21:38

MUSIC STOPS

0:21:400:21:41

Oh, you did really well. You can have the mouse mat.

0:21:410:21:44

Ah, you moved! You're out!

0:21:440:21:46

LAUGHTER You're out. You're out.

0:21:460:21:49

You're out.

0:21:490:21:51

Oh, you're definitely out.

0:21:510:21:52

You dropped your pencil, pick it up for me, please.

0:21:540:21:57

Ah, you're out!

0:21:570:21:58

MUSIC BEGINS

0:21:580:21:59

MUSIC STOPS

0:22:010:22:02

Johnny, you're out.

0:22:030:22:05

What do you mean, he's been moving since the start!

0:22:050:22:08

He's still moving now, look at him. Look, still moving!

0:22:080:22:12

Listen, if you want this party to continue then say I've won.

0:22:120:22:16

-SIGHS

-Fine. Johnny, you win.

0:22:160:22:18

BOOING

0:22:180:22:19

Yes! I've won! Yes!

0:22:190:22:21

Get in there! So, where's my prize?

0:22:210:22:24

-There you are, then.

-Yes!

0:22:240:22:28

BOOING

0:22:300:22:31

Hard luck, Nigel. Maybe next time, eh?

0:22:310:22:34

SMASHING

0:22:340:22:35

LAUGHTER

0:22:350:22:38

Oops.

0:22:380:22:40

I'd better wrap up this party, Inel-style.

0:22:400:22:43

Everybody jump aboard Inel's Inner City Soul Train.

0:22:430:22:47

Choo-choo!

0:22:470:22:49

FUNKY SOUL MUSIC

0:22:490:22:51

All aboard!

0:22:530:22:55

It's the Inel Soul Train.

0:22:550:22:58

Destination: Party Central.

0:22:580:23:01

Yeah!

0:23:010:23:03

Ha-ha, come on! Cos guess what?

0:23:030:23:06

# We're walking down the aisle

0:23:060:23:09

# Yeah, we're walking down the aisle

0:23:090:23:11

# We're walking down the aisle

0:23:110:23:12

# That's right we're walking down the aisle

0:23:120:23:14

# Cos you've got to find your seat

0:23:140:23:16

# Cos you've got to find your seat

0:23:160:23:18

# Cos you've got to find your seat That's right

0:23:180:23:21

# Uh-oh, the ride is getting a little bumpy

0:23:210:23:24

# The ride is getting a little bumpy

0:23:240:23:26

# The ride is getting a little bumpy

0:23:260:23:28

# Watch out! Watch out! Can I see your tickets, please?

0:23:280:23:33

# Can I see your tickets, please?

0:23:330:23:35

# Can I see your tickets, please? Thank you, let me stamp that

0:23:350:23:39

# The lady hasn't got a ticket You ain't got a ticket

0:23:390:23:43

# What? You ain't got a ticket She's looking kind of pregnant

0:23:430:23:48

# Back in your seat

0:23:480:23:50

# It's the pregnant woman

0:23:500:23:52

# You've got your seat

0:23:520:23:53

# Inner-city Soul Train

0:23:530:23:55

# It's all about manners. #

0:23:550:23:57

Inel decides to throw a party episode and Johnny is keen to put a stop to it, until prizes are mentioned. MKS pop in for some Bants in the Booth.


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