Episode 11 The Joke Machine
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Transcript
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|---|---|---|---|
Across the UK, sightings have been reported | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
of a mysterious object in the sky. | 0:00:04 | 0:00:05 | |
What does it want from us? | 0:00:05 | 0:00:07 | |
Thousands of children hoping they will be chosen. | 0:00:07 | 0:00:10 | |
One man is on a mission to find the funniest jokes. | 0:00:10 | 0:00:15 | |
He is... | 0:00:15 | 0:00:16 | |
..The Joke Master. | 0:00:18 | 0:00:19 | |
That's my name, don't wear it out! | 0:00:19 | 0:00:22 | |
And this is The Joke Machine. | 0:00:23 | 0:00:26 | |
Joke Machine, activate! | 0:00:29 | 0:00:31 | |
MACHINE RUMBLES | 0:00:31 | 0:00:33 | |
Joke Machine, activate! | 0:00:36 | 0:00:38 | |
MACHINE RUMBLES | 0:00:38 | 0:00:40 | |
Where are we going? | 0:00:40 | 0:00:42 | |
Let's get cracking, jokers! | 0:00:50 | 0:00:54 | |
Jokes, jokes, jokes, jokes, jokes! | 0:00:54 | 0:00:57 | |
I want more! | 0:00:57 | 0:00:58 | |
-What do you get if you sit under a cow? -What? | 0:00:58 | 0:01:00 | |
A pat on the head. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:02 | |
-BUZZER -Crikey, that is a bad joke. | 0:01:02 | 0:01:05 | |
And what would your mother say about that? | 0:01:05 | 0:01:08 | |
Do not bring my joke mother into this. | 0:01:08 | 0:01:10 | |
Ha-ha-ha! Yes! | 0:01:15 | 0:01:18 | |
I was walking down the street | 0:01:18 | 0:01:20 | |
and then this lady started throwing cheese at me and I said, | 0:01:20 | 0:01:23 | |
"Yeah, that's real mature." | 0:01:23 | 0:01:25 | |
That joke is Gouda! | 0:01:25 | 0:01:27 | |
That is how it is done. | 0:01:27 | 0:01:30 | |
Now we're cooking with laughs. Next one... | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
How many letters are in the alphabet? | 0:01:32 | 0:01:35 | |
A, b, c...g, h, i... | 0:01:35 | 0:01:38 | |
25. I don't know Y. BUZZER | 0:01:38 | 0:01:40 | |
I don't know "why" you thought that was funny. | 0:01:40 | 0:01:42 | |
Don't like you. | 0:01:42 | 0:01:44 | |
The feeling is mutual. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:46 | |
Doctor, Doctor, I swallowed the phone from my camera. | 0:01:51 | 0:01:54 | |
Oh, dear, let's hope nothing develops. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:58 | |
-Oh, yes! -Yes! | 0:01:58 | 0:02:01 | |
Come on, I want some jokes. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:03 | |
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? | 0:02:03 | 0:02:06 | |
Cos he had a very big bill. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:07 | |
-BUZZER -Ew, ew. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:10 | |
Rude. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
Ah! | 0:02:12 | 0:02:13 | |
Next batter. | 0:02:14 | 0:02:16 | |
Why did the fish jump out of the sea? | 0:02:16 | 0:02:18 | |
Cos of the sea weed. | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
BUZZER | 0:02:20 | 0:02:22 | |
ALARM | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
My wish is for no joke featuring fish. | 0:02:24 | 0:02:28 | |
Cupcake's wish is for you to be a tasty dish. | 0:02:28 | 0:02:32 | |
Ah! | 0:02:33 | 0:02:35 | |
Yum, yum, yum. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:36 | |
Bring in the next victims! I mean, jokers. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:41 | |
ALL: Rainbow Forge! | 0:02:47 | 0:02:49 | |
OK, class two, am I buying what you are selling? Hm? | 0:02:52 | 0:02:57 | |
Hiya. | 0:02:59 | 0:03:00 | |
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards. | 0:03:00 | 0:03:03 | |
Sit down, I'll deal with you later. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:06 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:03:06 | 0:03:08 | |
Yay! | 0:03:09 | 0:03:11 | |
Let's keep it going. | 0:03:11 | 0:03:13 | |
How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? | 0:03:13 | 0:03:16 | |
"Rocket." | 0:03:16 | 0:03:17 | |
-BUZZER -I'm disappointed in you. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:19 | |
Whatever. | 0:03:19 | 0:03:20 | |
Ahhhh! | 0:03:20 | 0:03:23 | |
Next joke. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:24 | |
Why was the computer cold? | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
It didn't shut its Windows. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
Great! | 0:03:28 | 0:03:29 | |
Oh, what have you got? | 0:03:32 | 0:03:33 | |
What you call a fly with no wings? | 0:03:33 | 0:03:36 | |
A walk. | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
-BUZZER -That is bad. | 0:03:38 | 0:03:40 | |
And what do you now about jokes? | 0:03:40 | 0:03:42 | |
I'm the Joke Master. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:44 | |
Prove it, then. | 0:03:44 | 0:03:45 | |
All right, I will. A dinosaur walks into a... | 0:03:45 | 0:03:48 | |
Whoa, is that the time? Got to go, bye. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:50 | |
This better not be a bad one. | 0:03:55 | 0:03:56 | |
What's a frog's favourite drink? | 0:03:56 | 0:03:58 | |
What? | 0:03:58 | 0:03:59 | |
Croaka-Cola. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:00 | |
Fee-fi-fo-funny! | 0:04:00 | 0:04:04 | |
-Ho-ho-ho. -I love what you've done with this Joke Machine. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:09 | |
Send in the next one. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:11 | |
YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are coming together as a joke website. | 0:04:11 | 0:04:14 | |
What's it going to be called? | 0:04:14 | 0:04:16 | |
You twit face. BUZZER | 0:04:16 | 0:04:18 | |
I don't know what any of those things you've smashed together are. | 0:04:18 | 0:04:21 | |
Well, at least I know what they mean. | 0:04:21 | 0:04:23 | |
Yeah, I'm sure you do, Mr Smuggy-Smug. | 0:04:23 | 0:04:25 | |
Why don't you go... and play with your... | 0:04:25 | 0:04:28 | |
face...twit...page. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
I can do what I want. | 0:04:31 | 0:04:32 | |
Get out of the Joke Machine! | 0:04:32 | 0:04:34 | |
I wonder who won that one. Hm? | 0:04:38 | 0:04:41 | |
It was... | 0:04:41 | 0:04:42 | |
Bingo! | 0:04:42 | 0:04:45 | |
Rainbow Forge. | 0:04:45 | 0:04:46 | |
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:50 | |
Sniff, sniff. You guys smell like losers. | 0:04:50 | 0:04:52 | |
Some good jokes there, but not enough! | 0:04:53 | 0:04:55 | |
So, I'll have to see you later. Joke you next time. | 0:04:57 | 0:05:00 |