Episode 23 The Joke Machine
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
-FEMALE REPORTER: -Sightings have been reported | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
of a mysterious object in the sky. | 0:00:04 | 0:00:05 | |
-MALE REPORTER: -What does it want from us? | 0:00:05 | 0:00:07 | |
Thousands of children... | 0:00:07 | 0:00:09 | |
Hoping they will be chosen. | 0:00:09 | 0:00:11 | |
One man is one a mission to find the funniest jokes. | 0:00:11 | 0:00:15 | |
He is... | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
..The Joke Master. | 0:00:18 | 0:00:20 | |
Did someone say my name? | 0:00:20 | 0:00:22 | |
And THIS is The Joke Machine! | 0:00:22 | 0:00:24 | |
Joke Machine, activate! | 0:00:27 | 0:00:30 | |
HE COUGHS | 0:00:32 | 0:00:34 | |
Joke Machine! Activate! | 0:00:34 | 0:00:36 | |
MECHANICAL WHIRRING | 0:00:36 | 0:00:37 | |
Where are we going? | 0:00:38 | 0:00:40 | |
CHEERING | 0:00:42 | 0:00:44 | |
Make me crack up, you Jokesters! | 0:00:48 | 0:00:50 | |
Good, good, good. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
Joke me up, hotshot. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:55 | |
In the morning I could murder a bowl of cereal. | 0:00:55 | 0:00:58 | |
Does that make me a cereal killer? | 0:00:58 | 0:01:00 | |
That joke was jolly! Whimsical! Jocular! | 0:01:00 | 0:01:04 | |
Good! Mwah-ha-ha-ha! | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
I've been reading a thesaurus! | 0:01:06 | 0:01:09 | |
What do you get if King Kong steps on Batman and Robin? | 0:01:09 | 0:01:12 | |
What? | 0:01:12 | 0:01:13 | |
Flatman and Ribbon. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:15 | |
This hand, this hand, together. | 0:01:15 | 0:01:18 | |
Applause! | 0:01:18 | 0:01:19 | |
Yay! | 0:01:19 | 0:01:21 | |
Next joke. | 0:01:21 | 0:01:23 | |
How did the ant cross the road? | 0:01:23 | 0:01:24 | |
-How? -He beeped his antennae. | 0:01:24 | 0:01:27 | |
That joke was terrible! | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
But I'll let you off if you say, "The Joke Master is the best." | 0:01:29 | 0:01:34 | |
No. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:35 | |
OK, say, "The Joke Master is in my top ten best people." | 0:01:35 | 0:01:39 | |
-No! -Urgh! | 0:01:39 | 0:01:40 | |
BOING! | 0:01:42 | 0:01:43 | |
This better not be a bad one. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:46 | |
What music do balloons hate? | 0:01:46 | 0:01:48 | |
What? | 0:01:48 | 0:01:50 | |
Pop music. | 0:01:50 | 0:01:51 | |
Why don't you pop off out of here? | 0:01:51 | 0:01:53 | |
HE CACKLES GLEEFULLY | 0:01:56 | 0:01:58 | |
POP! | 0:01:58 | 0:01:59 | |
What did the biscuit say when it got run over? | 0:02:00 | 0:02:03 | |
"Oh, crumbs!" | 0:02:03 | 0:02:05 | |
Wow, that joke stunk the room out. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
You stink! | 0:02:07 | 0:02:08 | |
HE SNIFFS | 0:02:08 | 0:02:10 | |
I do not stink! | 0:02:10 | 0:02:11 | |
Ugh! What is that smell?! | 0:02:13 | 0:02:15 | |
HE CHUCKLES | 0:02:15 | 0:02:17 | |
-Ugh! -THUD | 0:02:17 | 0:02:19 | |
Next! | 0:02:19 | 0:02:20 | |
-What computer can sing? -Don't know. | 0:02:20 | 0:02:22 | |
A Dell. | 0:02:22 | 0:02:23 | |
You know what that joke did? It made me smile. | 0:02:23 | 0:02:27 | |
Yes, I'm the queen of jokes! | 0:02:27 | 0:02:30 | |
Class one, done. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:31 | |
Class two, what have you got? | 0:02:34 | 0:02:36 | |
-CHILDREN: -Spring Bank Primary! | 0:02:42 | 0:02:44 | |
All joke systems are go! | 0:02:48 | 0:02:51 | |
# Hit me with your joke, yeah! # | 0:02:53 | 0:02:55 | |
-Why did the seagull fly over the sea? -Why? | 0:02:55 | 0:02:58 | |
Cos if it flew over the bay it'd be called a bay-gull. | 0:02:58 | 0:03:01 | |
Boo-woop! Not funny! | 0:03:01 | 0:03:03 | |
I'm not the girl you want to be messing with. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:05 | |
I ain't the kind of girl you want to be messing with, either. | 0:03:05 | 0:03:08 | |
I mean, man. I'm not... I'm not a man. I am a man. Gah! | 0:03:08 | 0:03:12 | |
SHE SCREAMS | 0:03:12 | 0:03:13 | |
ANIMAL GROWLS | 0:03:13 | 0:03:14 | |
GIRL YELPS | 0:03:14 | 0:03:16 | |
Who's a good boy? | 0:03:16 | 0:03:17 | |
Why did the Roman chicken cross the road? | 0:03:17 | 0:03:20 | |
She was afraid someone would seize 'er. | 0:03:20 | 0:03:22 | |
I love a joke with a historical reference! | 0:03:22 | 0:03:25 | |
Thank you, thank you, thank you! | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
HE GIGGLES | 0:03:27 | 0:03:29 | |
-What happens when you cross a duck with a firework? -What? | 0:03:30 | 0:03:35 | |
A fire quacker. | 0:03:35 | 0:03:37 | |
I don't want to hear you ever tell a joke again! | 0:03:37 | 0:03:40 | |
You suck! | 0:03:40 | 0:03:42 | |
HE SCREAMS | 0:03:42 | 0:03:43 | |
BOY SIZZLES ON THE SUN | 0:03:45 | 0:03:46 | |
Come on, come on, come on! I want some jokes! | 0:03:46 | 0:03:49 | |
What cheese isn't yours? | 0:03:49 | 0:03:51 | |
Nacho cheese. | 0:03:51 | 0:03:52 | |
Aye-yi-yi! | 0:03:52 | 0:03:54 | |
SMALL EXPLOSION | 0:04:02 | 0:04:04 | |
No, Joke Machine! | 0:04:04 | 0:04:05 | |
LASER BLASTS | 0:04:05 | 0:04:06 | |
Ugh! Thank God we ran out of guacamole! | 0:04:06 | 0:04:10 | |
DING! | 0:04:10 | 0:04:11 | |
Yay! | 0:04:11 | 0:04:12 | |
Hmm. Who was the victor? | 0:04:12 | 0:04:16 | |
It was... | 0:04:16 | 0:04:17 | |
DRUM ROLL | 0:04:17 | 0:04:18 | |
You. | 0:04:18 | 0:04:19 | |
CHEERING | 0:04:19 | 0:04:21 | |
You should be proud, Meadowlane. | 0:04:21 | 0:04:23 | |
Ooh, thumbs down. Ooh, I'm scared! | 0:04:24 | 0:04:27 | |
Woo! We got some funny stuff in the bag. But I want more! | 0:04:28 | 0:04:34 | |
So I'll see you again. Joke you later, jokey Jokers. | 0:04:35 | 0:04:39 | |
MECHANICAL WHIRRING | 0:04:42 | 0:04:43 |