Episode 24 The Joke Machine


Episode 24

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Transcript


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-FEMALE REPORTER:

-Sightings have been reported

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of a mysterious object in the sky.

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-MALE REPORTER:

-What does it want from us?

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Thousands of children...

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Hoping they will be chosen.

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One man is one a mission to find the funniest jokes.

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He is...

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..The Joke Master.

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That's me!

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And THIS is The Joke Machine!

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Joke Machine, activate!

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Hup!

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THUD

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Joke Machine, activate?

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MECHANICAL WHIRRING

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Where are we going?

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CHEERING

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Let's get cracking, Jokers!

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One, two, three, jokes!

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What did the hippie say to the Stone Age man who arrived three

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-hours late at the party?

-What?

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"You're early, man!".

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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO... Hello!

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That's a funny joke.

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Yay!

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Next joke.

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What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

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What?

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A labra-cadabra-dor.

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KLAXON No. No!

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SHE SCREAMS

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What has eyes that cannot see, a soul that cannot die

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and tongues that cannot taste?

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-I don't know.

-A shoe.

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Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad joke.

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Please, may I speak to your manager?

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Yeah, I'll just get him. Hello, Mr Manager. Shall I get rid of this guy?

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Yes, get rid of him! The joke was bad! OK!

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LASER BLASTS

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Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

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What do you call two rows of vegetables?

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Dual cabbage way.

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Whoop, whoop, whoop!

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Health and Safety never takes a day off,

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because that joke was so funny, it was dangerous!

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Yes!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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-What game to zombie kids like to play?

-What?

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Corpse and robbers.

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HE GROWLS LIKE A ZOMBIE

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IN GROWLY VOICE: I've come to tell you that I really like that joke.

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Really?

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HE GIGGLES

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HE GURGLES AND GROWLS

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What's the purpose of a child's middle name?

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So they can tell how much trouble they're in.

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I've been in a lot of trouble in my life,

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and because I don't have a middle name, my parents just go...

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You couldn't tell a joke that good.

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Yes, I could.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Dutchman all get along.

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Go for it, maestro.

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-Why was the potato embarrassed when he opened the fridge?

-Why?

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Because he saw the salad dressing.

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Woo-hoo!

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YES!!!

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It wasn't that funny.

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New class, new jokes.

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CHEERING

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Welcome to The Joke Machine. Now, get joking.

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Hello, little lady.

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Last night, I dreamt of eating a giant marshmallow,

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and when I woke up, my pillow was gone.

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It is good!

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YES!!!

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Let's keep it going!

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a dog.

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The doctor said, "Don't worry just sit down on the couch."

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He said, "Don't mind my plaid." I can't, cos I'm a dog.

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The three biggest disasters I've experienced, volcano,

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asteroid and that joke.

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Bring in the next one.

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What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle.

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Denied!

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Make it good.

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This teacher pointed at a boy with a ruler and said,

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"There's an idiot at the end of this stick."

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The boy got a detention for asking, "Which end?".

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You can't tell jokes at all!

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HE SCREAMS

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What's green, oblong, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

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-What?

-A snooker table.

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Whoo! That's a knee slapper!

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There you go.

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YAY!!!

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Whooo! Now we're cooking!

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What did Santa say to Ms Claus when it was raining in the North Pole?

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"Looks like rain, dear."

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That joke was so bad, Santa's not going to give it any presents.

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Hmm. Who should win? Er...

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DRUM ROLL

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You!

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Dunblane!

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CHEERING

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So that's what losing feels like? I wouldn't know.

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Whoo! Got some good jokes there, didn't we?

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IN CAVEMAN VOICE: But me need more, ha, ha.

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HE GRUNTS

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Joke you later!

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MECHANICAL WHIRRING

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