Episode 26 The Joke Machine
Similar Content
Browse content similar to Episode 26. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
-Across the UK... -Sightings have been reported of a mysterious | 0:00:00 | 0:00:02 | |
object in the sky. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:03 | |
What does it want from us? | 0:00:03 | 0:00:05 | |
Thousands of children... | 0:00:05 | 0:00:06 | |
Hoping they will be chosen. | 0:00:06 | 0:00:09 | |
One man is on a mission to find the funniest jokes. | 0:00:09 | 0:00:13 | |
He is... | 0:00:13 | 0:00:14 | |
The Joke Master. | 0:00:16 | 0:00:18 | |
That's me. | 0:00:18 | 0:00:20 | |
This is The Joke Machine. | 0:00:20 | 0:00:22 | |
Joke Machine, activate! | 0:00:26 | 0:00:28 | |
Aww! | 0:00:28 | 0:00:30 | |
Joke Machine, activate! | 0:00:30 | 0:00:32 | |
Where are we going? | 0:00:35 | 0:00:37 | |
ALL: Yeah! | 0:00:38 | 0:00:40 | |
Make me crack up, you jokesters. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:47 | |
Joke away, but do not disappoint me. | 0:00:48 | 0:00:51 | |
Would you like to hear my builder's joke? | 0:00:51 | 0:00:53 | |
I would love to hear your builder's joke. | 0:00:53 | 0:00:54 | |
Oh, wait. Sorry, I'm still working on it. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:57 | |
So funny. | 0:00:58 | 0:00:59 | |
You are the best joke master I've ever seen. | 0:00:59 | 0:01:02 | |
Thank you. But, wait. What other Joke Master's have you seen? | 0:01:02 | 0:01:06 | |
Hey! Come back! Come back! I need a... | 0:01:06 | 0:01:08 | |
Which room has no walls? | 0:01:10 | 0:01:12 | |
I don't know. Which room? | 0:01:12 | 0:01:13 | |
A mushroom. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:14 | |
No! | 0:01:16 | 0:01:17 | |
You should look up joke in a dictionary. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:20 | |
Argh! | 0:01:20 | 0:01:22 | |
CRASH! | 0:01:24 | 0:01:26 | |
Joke it up. | 0:01:26 | 0:01:27 | |
What's the difference between a dog and painter? | 0:01:27 | 0:01:30 | |
One coats its shed and the other sheds its coat. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:33 | |
Put the paintbrush in its little paws. It doesn't work! | 0:01:33 | 0:01:36 | |
Make it good. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:40 | |
-Why are ghosts bad liars? -Why? | 0:01:40 | 0:01:42 | |
Because you can see right through them! | 0:01:42 | 0:01:45 | |
I have no words for how bad that joke was. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:48 | |
La la la la la. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:49 | |
Hey! Listen to me! Oi! | 0:01:49 | 0:01:50 | |
Listen to me! | 0:01:50 | 0:01:52 | |
Joke me up, hotshot. | 0:01:56 | 0:01:57 | |
I'm going to tell you a story about three holes in the ground. | 0:01:57 | 0:01:59 | |
You haven't heard it? Well, well, well. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:02 | |
Have you told the joke? Well? Well? Where is it? | 0:02:04 | 0:02:08 | |
Next! | 0:02:12 | 0:02:13 | |
A man saw a spooky house, | 0:02:13 | 0:02:14 | |
so he went inside and he looked up | 0:02:14 | 0:02:16 | |
the chimney and he saw a skeleton. | 0:02:16 | 0:02:19 | |
And the skeleton had a medal on it, | 0:02:19 | 0:02:20 | |
and it said "Hide and Seek Champion, 1922." | 0:02:20 | 0:02:23 | |
He's a winner, and you're a winner. | 0:02:23 | 0:02:26 | |
Yes! | 0:02:26 | 0:02:27 | |
Win win! | 0:02:28 | 0:02:30 | |
What do you call a spider with no legs? | 0:02:30 | 0:02:32 | |
I don't know. | 0:02:32 | 0:02:33 | |
A raisin. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:34 | |
Don't eat it, though. | 0:02:34 | 0:02:36 | |
This is the best day of my life! | 0:02:37 | 0:02:39 | |
Come to me, Class Two, for I need jokes. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:47 | |
ALL: Ashcombe Primary! Awesome! | 0:02:52 | 0:02:56 | |
Joke time! | 0:02:58 | 0:02:59 | |
Hello, little lady. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:03 | |
What do you call a cheese that's not yours? | 0:03:03 | 0:03:05 | |
Tell me. | 0:03:05 | 0:03:06 | |
Nacho cheese. | 0:03:06 | 0:03:08 | |
Ai, ai, ai! | 0:03:08 | 0:03:09 | |
Yay! | 0:03:19 | 0:03:21 | |
Arriba, arriba! | 0:03:21 | 0:03:23 | |
Hit me with it. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:26 | |
Doctor, doctor, I've got a sore throat. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:29 | |
So, go over to the window and stick your tongue out. | 0:03:29 | 0:03:32 | |
How will that help? | 0:03:32 | 0:03:33 | |
It won't. I just don't like my neighbours. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:36 | |
Congratulations. Hilarious! | 0:03:37 | 0:03:39 | |
Yay! | 0:03:39 | 0:03:41 | |
Send in the next one. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
Dad asked me if I like going to school. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:45 | |
I said I like going to school and I like coming home from school. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:48 | |
It's the bit in the middle I don't like! | 0:03:48 | 0:03:50 | |
There's probably a lot of people who do. But not you! | 0:03:50 | 0:03:53 | |
Whoo! | 0:03:53 | 0:03:54 | |
Not me. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:56 | |
I don't go to school. It'd be weird if I showed up. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:59 | |
What invention allows people to walk through walls? | 0:03:59 | 0:04:01 | |
What? | 0:04:01 | 0:04:02 | |
Doors. | 0:04:02 | 0:04:03 | |
Meh(!) | 0:04:03 | 0:04:04 | |
Funnier than you. | 0:04:04 | 0:04:06 | |
Oh, come on. Give me a good one. | 0:04:07 | 0:04:10 | |
What do you call a piglet rolled down a hill? Sausage roll. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:13 | |
I heard that when I was five and it wasn't funny then | 0:04:13 | 0:04:15 | |
and it's still not funny now, and I'm only seven. | 0:04:15 | 0:04:18 | |
You loser! | 0:04:18 | 0:04:20 | |
Who's the loser now? | 0:04:20 | 0:04:21 | |
Not me. | 0:04:24 | 0:04:25 | |
What do you call a stupid flea? | 0:04:25 | 0:04:27 | |
What? | 0:04:27 | 0:04:28 | |
A loony tick. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:30 | |
Well done, well done. | 0:04:30 | 0:04:31 | |
Yay! | 0:04:31 | 0:04:33 | |
I wonder who won that one. Hmm? | 0:04:34 | 0:04:36 | |
It was... | 0:04:37 | 0:04:38 | |
Bingo! | 0:04:38 | 0:04:41 | |
Ashcombe. | 0:04:41 | 0:04:42 | |
You need to ask Santa for a new joke book this Christmas. | 0:04:44 | 0:04:47 | |
Some good jokes there, team. But not enough! | 0:04:49 | 0:04:52 | |
So we're going to have to do this again. | 0:04:52 | 0:04:55 | |
Joke you later! | 0:04:55 | 0:04:56 |