Episode 27 The Joke Machine
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
Sightings have been reported of a mysterious object in the sky. | 0:00:00 | 0:00:05 | |
What does it want from us? | 0:00:05 | 0:00:07 | |
..thousands of children... | 0:00:07 | 0:00:09 | |
..hoping they will be chosen... | 0:00:09 | 0:00:11 | |
One man is on a mission to find the funniest jokes. | 0:00:11 | 0:00:14 | |
He is... | 0:00:16 | 0:00:17 | |
..the Joke Master! | 0:00:18 | 0:00:19 | |
-That's... ME! -THUMP! | 0:00:19 | 0:00:21 | |
And this is the Joke Machine. | 0:00:21 | 0:00:25 | |
Joke Machine, activate! | 0:00:28 | 0:00:30 | |
FARTING NOISE | 0:00:30 | 0:00:32 | |
I've not been well. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:34 | |
-SULKILY: -Joke Machine, activate. | 0:00:34 | 0:00:37 | |
FARTING NOISE | 0:00:37 | 0:00:38 | |
Where are we going? | 0:00:40 | 0:00:42 | |
ALL: Gabalfa Primary - we rock! | 0:00:45 | 0:00:49 | |
WHIRRING | 0:00:49 | 0:00:53 | |
Let's get these jokers cracking up! | 0:00:53 | 0:00:57 | |
-Go! Go! Go! -What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? | 0:00:58 | 0:01:02 | |
-I don't know. -Philippe de Flop. | 0:01:02 | 0:01:04 | |
As the French would say... "Eh-eh-eh...!" | 0:01:04 | 0:01:07 | |
Une baguette. | 0:01:08 | 0:01:09 | |
Fly don't northern foxes eat penguins? | 0:01:09 | 0:01:12 | |
They can't get the wrappers off. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:14 | |
Dreadful! Dreadful! | 0:01:14 | 0:01:16 | |
Dreadful! | 0:01:16 | 0:01:18 | |
WHIRR-CLUNK! | 0:01:18 | 0:01:20 | |
Joke it up. | 0:01:22 | 0:01:23 | |
Why did the teacher go to the beach? | 0:01:23 | 0:01:26 | |
-Why? -To test out the water. | 0:01:26 | 0:01:28 | |
What...? | 0:01:28 | 0:01:30 | |
Arrrhhh...! I'll get you! | 0:01:30 | 0:01:33 | |
Next! | 0:01:33 | 0:01:34 | |
What do you call a man that sells a tape? | 0:01:34 | 0:01:37 | |
-What? -Sell-a-tape. | 0:01:37 | 0:01:39 | |
At last! Victory! | 0:01:39 | 0:01:42 | |
Yay! | 0:01:42 | 0:01:44 | |
Let's keep it going! | 0:01:44 | 0:01:45 | |
What do you call a prehistoric monster who sleeps? | 0:01:45 | 0:01:48 | |
Dino-snore. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:50 | |
HE SNORES | 0:01:50 | 0:01:51 | |
No, I don't want to go to school, Mum. | 0:01:51 | 0:01:54 | |
Huh? | 0:01:54 | 0:01:56 | |
Go for it. Good luck. | 0:01:58 | 0:02:00 | |
What are grams scared of? | 0:02:00 | 0:02:02 | |
Killer grams. | 0:02:02 | 0:02:03 | |
Winning. Right now. Winning! | 0:02:03 | 0:02:06 | |
I want some more! I want some MORE! | 0:02:07 | 0:02:10 | |
What's sharks' favourite food? | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
Fish and ships. | 0:02:12 | 0:02:14 | |
If only I could put my hands inside my head | 0:02:16 | 0:02:19 | |
and remove the thoughts of fish! | 0:02:19 | 0:02:21 | |
Class One, done. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:26 | |
Class Two, what have you got? | 0:02:29 | 0:02:32 | |
ALL: Hamstel Junior - we roll! | 0:02:37 | 0:02:40 | |
Join the joke battle! | 0:02:43 | 0:02:45 | |
Hello. What joke have you got? | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
How do you get Pikachu on an aeroplane? | 0:02:48 | 0:02:51 | |
-How? -Poke him on. | 0:02:51 | 0:02:53 | |
Stop it...! It's too funny...! | 0:02:53 | 0:02:55 | |
Thank you, you're the best in the world. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:58 | |
You've got a point, stop sucking up! | 0:02:58 | 0:03:01 | |
Although, I do enjoy a good compliment. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:03 | |
One man says to the other man, "I like your dog. What breed is it?" | 0:03:03 | 0:03:07 | |
The other man says, "It's a miniature poodle." | 0:03:07 | 0:03:10 | |
So the man says, "A miniature poodle?" | 0:03:10 | 0:03:13 | |
So the other man says, "Yeah - | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
the MINUTE'YER turn your back he does a POO-DLE." | 0:03:15 | 0:03:19 | |
Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad joke. | 0:03:19 | 0:03:22 | |
Who spends their time in a weird joke machine, anyway?! | 0:03:22 | 0:03:26 | |
Not you! | 0:03:26 | 0:03:27 | |
Huh? | 0:03:29 | 0:03:30 | |
A peanut walked into a bar. The man said, | 0:03:30 | 0:03:33 | |
"You're not allowed in here." He said, "You 'SULTED me." | 0:03:33 | 0:03:36 | |
You're nuts if you think that's funny! | 0:03:36 | 0:03:39 | |
Boo! | 0:03:39 | 0:03:40 | |
Aaaarrrggggghhhh...! | 0:03:42 | 0:03:43 | |
LAUGHS MANIACALLY | 0:03:43 | 0:03:45 | |
-What did Darth Vader say to Luke Skywalker on his birthday? -What? | 0:03:45 | 0:03:50 | |
-I can feel your PRESENTS. -Joke tell, good you are, mmm?! | 0:03:50 | 0:03:54 | |
# I'm the champ! | 0:03:54 | 0:03:55 | |
# I'm always the champ... # | 0:03:55 | 0:03:58 | |
Send the next jokester in, please. | 0:03:58 | 0:04:00 | |
Whoa...! | 0:04:00 | 0:04:02 | |
Hit me with your joke, yeah. | 0:04:02 | 0:04:04 | |
What is the king of all school supplies? | 0:04:04 | 0:04:07 | |
-What? -The ruler! | 0:04:07 | 0:04:10 | |
MAKES DRAIN NOISE | 0:04:10 | 0:04:12 | |
Boo! | 0:04:12 | 0:04:14 | |
Oh, cheer up, it's only a joke! | 0:04:14 | 0:04:16 | |
Only a joke? | 0:04:16 | 0:04:17 | |
This...is my LIFE! | 0:04:17 | 0:04:20 | |
Cupcake! | 0:04:20 | 0:04:21 | |
BLOODCURDLING ROAR | 0:04:21 | 0:04:24 | |
That's what I'm talking about. | 0:04:24 | 0:04:27 | |
Hmm... Who should win? | 0:04:27 | 0:04:29 | |
Errrhhhh... | 0:04:29 | 0:04:32 | |
You - Gabalfa! | 0:04:32 | 0:04:35 | |
CHEERING | 0:04:35 | 0:04:37 | |
You are fired, Hamstel Junior! | 0:04:37 | 0:04:41 | |
Whoo...! Got some good jokes there, didn't we? | 0:04:41 | 0:04:44 | |
-But we need more ha-ha! -CAVEMAN NOISES | 0:04:44 | 0:04:47 | |
Joke you later! | 0:04:47 | 0:04:51 | |
RUMBLING | 0:04:51 | 0:04:52 |