Episode 33 The Joke Machine


Episode 33

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-Across the UK...

-..sightings have been reported

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of a mysterious object in the sky.

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What does it want from us?

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Thousands of children...

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..hoping they will be chosen.

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One man is on a mission

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to find the funniest jokes.

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He is...

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..the Joke Master...

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Did someone say...

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..my name?

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..and this is The Joke Machine.

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Joke machine, activate!

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Argh! SIREN WAILS/ELECTRICAL CRACKLING

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Oooh! Ooh!

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Joke machine, activate?

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Where are we going?

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-ALL:

-Westborough Primary! We rule the world!

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Joke systems are go.

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Is this joke going to be funny?

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We'll have to wait and see.

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Hit me with it.

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Which painting is never happy?

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I don't know, which one?

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The Moaning Lisa.

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Whoo!

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What can you say? I'm a natural.

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Next.

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Why was the computer cold?

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Why was the computer cold?

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It left all its Windows open.

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Yeah, that is two thumbs up, from you and from me.

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Yeah!

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Send the next jokester in, please.

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Why do elephants have big ears?

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Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom.

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That is a triple, triple funny.

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Boom! Yeah!

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Boom! Yeah!

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-What do you call an adult balloon?

-What?

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-A blown-up.

-BUZZER

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Well, I don't like that joke.

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-You do.

-I don't.

-Yes, you do.

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Wait, do I? Do I?

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Stop playing these Jedi mind tricks.

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Joke me up, hotshot.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

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Because KFC was on the other side.

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BUZZER Ehhhh! No.

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You have no sense of humour.

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Pull a funnier face than me, then.

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Can you make a funnier noise than me? Mwaaarp!

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Myeh-myeh-MYEH!

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You've won a prize. It's right behind you.

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SHE SHRIEKS

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The house always wins.

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HE GURGLES GIBBERISH

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Hello?

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Is it me you're looking for?

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Kind of.

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OK, then. Tell me a joke.

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Well, I chopped down my dad's

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cherry tree. He didn't punish me.

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Do you know why?

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Why?

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Cos I still had the chain saw in my hand.

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BUZZER What your dad needs is a new pet.

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Oh, Cupcake!

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What have you done? Oh, my..!

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SNARLING

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New class, new jokes. Let's go.

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-ALL:

-Roscoe Primary! We're the best!

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Jokers are a-go-go. Yo.

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Jokey, jokey, jokes.

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-What do you call butter that can fly?

-What?

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A butterfly.

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BUZZER That literally means nothing to me.

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You're not a real Joke Master.

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I am and I've got the certificate to prove it.

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It's somewhere around here.

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ALARM BLARES

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Hit me with it.

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Why can't you trust someone in bed?

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Because they're lying.

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Wheeew! That was the jet plane of funny and you were on board.

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Thank you. You're amazing.

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It's these little moments that just keep me going, so thank you.

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What's an insect's favourite sport?

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Cricket.

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Cos it's an insect and it's a sport!

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Yay.

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It's a half-hour of action jam-packed into a day.

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Joke it up.

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What's the best way to kill a circus?

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I don't know. How?

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Go straight for the juggler.

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BUZZER Oh, no, you don't.

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SHE SCREAMS

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FIZZING

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Huh?

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"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a cowboy."

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"How long have you been feeling like that for?"

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"About a year-ha!"

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Yee-ha!

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I'm going to lasso me some funny! Woo-hoo!

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Yes!

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It's the last one from your class. Make it count.

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What does a vampire eat for breakfast?

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Ready-neck.

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V-F. Very funny.

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Yeah!

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Oh! Who could possibly have won that one?

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It was...

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Bingo.

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THEY CHEER

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Really good stuff, Roscoe.

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Don't blame me, blame the person that told you those jokes.

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Ooh! Thanks, guys, we got some good jokes.

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But me need more, ah-ha! Urgh!

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Joke you later!

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