Episode 35 The Joke Machine


Episode 35

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Across the UK...

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Sightings have been reported of a mysterious object in the sky.

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What does it want from us? Thousands of children...

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..Hoping they will be chosen.

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One man is on a mission to find the funniest jokes. He is...

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The Joke Master.

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That's me!

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And this is The Joke Machine.

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Joke Machine activate.

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Joke Machine activate?

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Where are we going?

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Let's get cracking, jokers!

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Welcome to The Joke Machine. Now, get joking.

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Why do potatoes make good spies?

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Why?

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Because they always keep their eyes peeled.

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Hot dog, that's funny!

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Yah!

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Whoa, you all right?

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-Knock, knock.

-Who's there?

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I done up.

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-I done up who?

-Eww, you done a poo!

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What? No, I haven't!

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D'oh!

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How dare you pull me into your web of trickery!

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-Why did the spider go on the computer?

-Why?

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Because it wanted to search the web.

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That's a waste of my time.

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What a waste of your time? What a waste of my time, as well.

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Ah!

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Bring in the next one.

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Ah, a double act. Are you funny?

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Erm, very. 100%.

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And what about you?

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Erm, the same, but maybe.

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At least one of you has got the confidence. Joke, please!

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Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a bin.

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Don't talk rubbish!

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Double trouble, double bubble, double funny.

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Yes!

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Ha-ha!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

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I don't know, what?

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-No i-deer.

-Not funny.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

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What are you doing to this deer?

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Still no i-deer.

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Stop hurting this deer!

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Ah!

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What do you call a man with no underpants?

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Nicho-las.

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Oh, just going to...

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No, even the gremlins in the machine are saying that's not funny.

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Ah!

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New class, new jokes.

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Cracking up time, jokesters.

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Think you can do better than those guys?

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Hit me!

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The child said to the optician, "I don't like my glasses."

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"But they're spectacular," said the optician.

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I think you've just told me a conversation

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you had with your optician.

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Oh, no, you didn't!

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Oh, yes, I did!

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Ah!

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What do you call cheese that's not yours?

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Please, say it.

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Nacho cheese.

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Ay-yi-yi!

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You know what? I don't think I like this joke any more.

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How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?

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Tut-an-kham-en.

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Oh, you're still here?

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Aw, you don't have any sense of humour.

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Next.

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How can you get two whales in a car?

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I don't know.

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Drive, silly!

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Somebody call the doctor, because my sides are splitting.

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Yay!

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"Waiter, this egg is bad."

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"Well, don't blame me, I only laid the table."

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Tell me more.

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I knew I was funny, I really did.

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Well, it's all about believing in yourself.

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Hmm, who won that one?

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It was...

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Boom!

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St Edmund's!

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Yay!

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Boo!

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Try harder next time, Marlborough.

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Whoo, we got some funny stuff.

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Fun-ny stuff.

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But I need more!

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So I'll joke you later, jokesters.

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