The E-Factor The Large Family

Oh, dear! The breakfast!

I thought we were having omelette, Mum!

Um...Slight change of plan.

There's been some great music on Mammoth Radio this morning.

'All budding radio stars!'

'This weekend, there'll be a talent competition in the town hall,'

'It doesn't matter what your talent is, so get practising!'

-'The winner will be broadcast on a special Mammoth Radio show.'

-Yeah!

So, what do you think, kids?

Do you want to enter?

You could get together for a family band!

Actually, Mum, I'd rather do

my new super-cool rapping whilst skateboarding routine.

I could sing, I know every Loud Girls song.

No-one will be as good as me rapping on my skateboard.

# Yo, yo, yo I'm Lester Large! #

You sound really great, Lester.

Can I try?

# Yo, yo, yo I'm Luke and I'm large. #

You're quite small, Luke. But it was a really good try.

Maybe with a bit of practice.

# When you're feeling down No more frowns

# Don't get your trunk in a twist. #

Amazing dancing, Lucy!

With more practice, you'll be as good as me!

# Don't get your trunk in a twist No, no, no, no. #

I can't concentrate with Laura's music playing!

They should be called the Too Loud Girls!

HE DRUMS ON THE BOX

Luke, you're a really good drummer.

Do a drum solo for the contest.

Really? Maybe I could be even louder than those two loud girls next door.

HE DRUMS LOUDLY

LOUD SINGING AND DRUMMING

What a lot of noise!

ALL: Sorry, Mum!

We've been having so much fun.

Hi, Lester. Hi, everyone. What are you all doing?

Are you forming a band? Can I join in?

We're not really a band. We have our own solo acts.

-I'm rapping.

-Aren't you entering, Sebastian?

Entering what?

The talent contest!

Didn't you hear about it on Mammoth Radio?

But you're not over 18!

-What do you mean, Sebastian?

-The competition's for over 18s only.

Didn't you hear it on the radio? My mum's entering.

She's reading a poem. The Elephant's Lament.

She won a poetry reading prize last year.

What are we going to do now?

And after all that practising!

You sound like you've had lots of fun, even if you can't enter.

I'm sure your acts would have been great.

How can a competition be cool if only grown-ups can enter?

-Children, I've just had an excellent idea.

-And what's that?

Well, if you can't win and get on the radio,

your dad and I will enter!

We've got many secret talents, you know.

Don't worry. We'll come up with something extra special.

That's what I'm worried about.

Sometimes, Mum's ideas are a little TOO special!

All right, children.

What are you going to do, Dad?

Well, I thought I'd put all my jokes together into a comedy routine.

Oh!

Yes! And I'm going to sing one of my songs.

I have a catchy new one.

Listen.

Oh...

# If you're worried that your house is a mess

# Do not worry Do not stress! #

Mum, you can't sing about housework.

You haven't heard the best bit yet. Just wait for the chorus!

I think they've heard enough of me, dear.

-Why don't you tell one of your jokes?

-OK!

Knock knock...

Oh oh, Dad! Knock-knock jokes are so not cool any more!

Really? Your mum thinks they're very funny.

Lester doesn't mean you're not funny.

Just that there's something better you could do.

Well, I'm sure we'll be as good as Mrs Smart.

-Of course you will, because we're going to help you!

-We are?

You bet!

Mum, I'm going to teach you a Loud Girls song.

Don't Get Your Trunk In A Twist!

Everyone will sing along.

I'll teach you to rap, Dad, but maybe not skateboarding.

That might be one way of making him funny!

# Don't...get your...trunk in...a twist...#

# Yo, yo, yo I'm Mr Large

# I like sitting in the garden And hanging with my kids. #

That doesn't rhyme! And you can't rap about sitting in the garden.

Why not? You said rappers rap about their lives.

Wait a second, Dad. Lester, I've had an idea.

What's that, Luke?

You know how you always tell us, "Two trunks are better than one"?

Of course.

I was thinking, maybe your acts on their own

still need quite a bit of practising,

but maybe if you put them together then you'd be unbeatable!

Why, that's a great idea, Luke.

They'll still need a lot of practice.

Don't forget, the contest is tonight.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

welcome to the Mammoth Radio talent contest.

So, without further ado, let the contest begin!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And now I'd like to present Mrs Sheena Smart,

who's going to recite some poetry.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

The sun came up The moon fell down

A solitary elephant...

Uh-oh.

Only a few sounds could be heard That of the elephant's lament

And a sad, solitary bird.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And now, please give a huge round of applause

for Larry and Linda Large!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# Don't get your...trunk in a twist No, no...no, no

# Don't get your trunk in a twist...#

# Yo, yo, yo We're the Large family

# We're super cool Just you wait and see! #

No, they're dying out there!

What shall we do?

I've got a plan.

It's a bit risky, but it might be the only chance of saving it.

Follow me!

# When you're feeling down No more frowns

# Don't get your trunk in a twist

# When you're feeling down No more frowns

# Don't get your trunk in a twist

# If it's all gone wrong You need to sing this song

# Don't get your trunk in a twist

# Don't get your trunk in a twist No, no, no, no

# Don't get your trunk in a twist

# Don't get your trunk in a twist No, no, no, no

# Don't get your trunk in a twist. #

Oh!

ALL: # Don't get your trunk in a twist, no , no, no no

# Don't get your trunk in a twist

# Don't get your trunk in a twist No, no, no, no

# Don't get your trunk in a twist! #

# Yo, yo, yo Large family time

# Listen to us And you'll be just fine

# There's Dad, that's me And Mum just there

# Lester with his board and his super-cool hair

# Luke plays drums And Laura can sing

# And Lucy-Lou Can dance and swing

# With a Loud Girls song Large family style

# Don't get your trunk in a twist

# Just go wild! #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, now it's time for the results.

They said over 18s only, Larry.

I hope we won't get disqualified for the children joining in.

I'm afraid that while we thought they were fantastic,

we've had to disqualify our final act, Larry and Linda Large,

because their great backing band was under 18.

CROWD: Aww!

I am thrilled to announce

the winner of the Mammoth Radio talent contest is...

Mrs Sheena Smart!

APPLAUSE

Oh, thank you, thank you!

I am so pleased that the right person won in the end.

Cheating is cheating!

Hello! Great contest! Thank you!

I could say the same to you!

Your family version of Don't Get Your Trunk In a Twist

was the perfect grand finale.

-Really?

-Yes, it was brilliant! I think it could even be a hit.

I was wondering, would you like to come in

to the Mammoth Radio studio and record it?

We can call ourselves the Large Family band!

We're going to be the best band ever!

You know what, Luke? I think you've got that absolutely right.

Grr!

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