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Many years ago, a terrible plague | 0:00:05 | 0:00:08 | |
consumed the mighty kingdom of Fyredor. | 0:00:08 | 0:00:10 | |
The only hope of a cure rested with one young wizard, sent out to scour | 0:00:12 | 0:00:16 | |
the Earth for precious ingredients. | 0:00:16 | 0:00:19 | |
After many years, he returned with an antidote. | 0:00:20 | 0:00:23 | |
The king's sons, Princes Dick and Dom, were the first to be cured. | 0:00:26 | 0:00:30 | |
And the last to be cured. They were banished from the kingdom, along | 0:00:31 | 0:00:37 | |
with their trusty mage, Mannitol, and light-fingered servant, Lutin. | 0:00:37 | 0:00:41 | |
All never to return until they had collected the ingredients to | 0:00:41 | 0:00:46 | |
remake the antidote. | 0:00:46 | 0:00:49 | |
And so, | 0:00:49 | 0:00:50 | |
the Legend of Dick and Dom | 0:00:50 | 0:00:52 | |
had begun. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
After many long days on the road, one day realising the | 0:00:56 | 0:01:00 | |
map was upside down, and even more days going back the way they came, | 0:01:00 | 0:01:04 | |
Princes Dick and Dom pitched camp with their valiant band. | 0:01:04 | 0:01:08 | |
They awoke, refreshed and ready to breakfast like kings. | 0:01:08 | 0:01:12 | |
Are you sure kings eat porridge? | 0:01:12 | 0:01:15 | |
-Oh, yeah. All the time. -So where do you want this cauldron? | 0:01:15 | 0:01:18 | |
Good news, your princelinesses! The next item you seek on your quest. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:24 | |
Great(!) What have I got to trudge around looking for this time, then? | 0:01:24 | 0:01:28 | |
The pit of despair? | 0:01:28 | 0:01:30 | |
The end of the Earth? | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
The stench of a monkey's bum? | 0:01:32 | 0:01:34 | |
You've smelt Dom's sleeping bag, then. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:36 | |
Yes. Very funny. | 0:01:36 | 0:01:37 | |
You're a comedy genius, aren't you? | 0:01:37 | 0:01:40 | |
Yup. Watch this. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:42 | |
-(MUFFLED:) -The porridge has gone up my nose! | 0:01:46 | 0:01:49 | |
Save some for us! | 0:01:49 | 0:01:51 | |
Hey! You're pulling my face. No! Not the face! | 0:01:51 | 0:01:55 | |
Look, it's fine. I'M fine. Just leave it alone, OK? | 0:01:55 | 0:01:59 | |
-Everything's fine. -Right. So, what rare and mystical thing do we need? | 0:01:59 | 0:02:03 | |
Well, the new message on the scroll says | 0:02:03 | 0:02:07 | |
the next item you seek is... | 0:02:07 | 0:02:10 | |
..a pint of milk. | 0:02:11 | 0:02:13 | |
Finally, something simple! | 0:02:13 | 0:02:15 | |
Brilliant! There's a whole flask of it inside that tent. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:18 | |
Oh, no. Um, we haven't. | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
The milk elves must have pinched it. | 0:02:20 | 0:02:23 | |
Not the milk elves again! | 0:02:23 | 0:02:25 | |
That's the third time this week. Typical! ..Mannitol, got any milk? | 0:02:25 | 0:02:29 | |
No, but I could always magic this twig into a pint of milk. | 0:02:29 | 0:02:34 | |
-No! -Who else round here would have any milk? | 0:02:34 | 0:02:38 | |
-What about cows! -Don't be ridiculous. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:40 | |
-Cows don't drink milk. -No, I mean we could milk a cow. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:43 | |
There must be a cow round here somewhere. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:46 | |
Mmm. Porridge? | 0:02:49 | 0:02:51 | |
Anyone? | 0:02:51 | 0:02:53 | |
'And so, our gallant princes set about their task in Earnest. | 0:02:53 | 0:02:59 | |
'But Earnest was deserted, so they tried the next town.' | 0:02:59 | 0:03:03 | |
You've all forgotten, then? | 0:03:04 | 0:03:07 | |
-Forgotten what? -What day it is. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:09 | |
Of course! The sale starts at Dwarf World! | 0:03:09 | 0:03:13 | |
We-hey! | 0:03:13 | 0:03:14 | |
We-hey! | 0:03:14 | 0:03:16 | |
We-hey! | 0:03:16 | 0:03:18 | |
We-hey! | 0:03:18 | 0:03:20 | |
Yes, that's as may be. | 0:03:21 | 0:03:24 | |
But today's also my birthday. | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
I never ask for much, but all I hope is that my only friends in the whole | 0:03:26 | 0:03:31 | |
land maybe spare me a thought. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:33 | |
And buy me a massive present. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:36 | |
-I mean, you really think we'd forget something like that? -Yes. | 0:03:36 | 0:03:39 | |
-Er... -Oh, look, look, look, look what I got you. | 0:03:39 | 0:03:42 | |
See, Mannitol's got you a card. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:45 | |
-The ink's still wet. -And I got you this present. Look, a belt. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:48 | |
Well, it's from us all, really. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:50 | |
Isn't that YOUR belt? | 0:03:50 | 0:03:52 | |
Not good enough. It's my birthday! | 0:03:54 | 0:03:57 | |
OK, look, we weren't going to tell you, but we've got you | 0:03:57 | 0:04:01 | |
a lovely surprise and we're going to give it to you...later. | 0:04:01 | 0:04:05 | |
Good! What? | 0:04:05 | 0:04:07 | |
Oh, look. The town gate! | 0:04:11 | 0:04:14 | |
Hello. I'm t' gatekeeper. How can I help you? | 0:04:14 | 0:04:18 | |
Can you open the gate? | 0:04:18 | 0:04:21 | |
Yes, I can. I'm very good at that. That's why I'm town gatekeeper. | 0:04:21 | 0:04:25 | |
No, no, no. We'd like to stay here. | 0:04:25 | 0:04:27 | |
-Stay there, then! -No, what he means... | 0:04:27 | 0:04:31 | |
Hello. Can I help? I'm Tom, the innkeeper. | 0:04:31 | 0:04:34 | |
Yes, it's the gatekeeper. He's a bit, er... | 0:04:34 | 0:04:38 | |
-He's... -What? Thick? | 0:04:38 | 0:04:41 | |
-Yes. -No, not exactly thick... -No, I AM thick! | 0:04:41 | 0:04:44 | |
Oh, yes. He IS...thick. And so am I! | 0:04:44 | 0:04:47 | |
We're all thick here! Welcome to Thick. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:51 | |
Everybody here is thick and proud of it. My father was thick. | 0:05:04 | 0:05:09 | |
HIS father was thick. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:10 | |
And HIS father was...was... | 0:05:10 | 0:05:14 | |
-Thick? -Ginger. AND thick. | 0:05:14 | 0:05:16 | |
So what brings you here, then? | 0:05:16 | 0:05:18 | |
Well, we're after a pint of a milk. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:21 | |
GASPS AND SCREAMS | 0:05:21 | 0:05:23 | |
You ought not to be saying things like that round here. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:26 | |
What? Milk?! | 0:05:26 | 0:05:28 | |
GASPS AND SCREAMS | 0:05:28 | 0:05:30 | |
Let me tell you. | 0:05:30 | 0:05:32 | |
It's a tragic tale. Thick used to be such a prosperous town. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:36 | |
We were famous for two things - being thick and having great milk. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:39 | |
We had rolling hills, lush green p... | 0:05:39 | 0:05:43 | |
Oh... P-P-P... | 0:05:43 | 0:05:45 | |
-Parents? -No. P... | 0:05:45 | 0:05:46 | |
-Porcupines? -No. P... | 0:05:46 | 0:05:49 | |
Pastures! And cows - hundreds of beautiful cows. | 0:05:49 | 0:05:52 | |
About a year ago, all that changed. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:54 | |
Something started happening to the cows. | 0:05:54 | 0:05:57 | |
They started to go m...m... | 0:05:57 | 0:06:00 | |
Mental? | 0:06:00 | 0:06:02 | |
-No. M-M-M... -Morris dancing? | 0:06:02 | 0:06:04 | |
No. Missing, missing! One by one, all of our cows disappeared. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:09 | |
Luckily the witch doctor who lives on the hill - thank heavens | 0:06:09 | 0:06:12 | |
for him - he'd only just moved here, but he spotted it. | 0:06:12 | 0:06:15 | |
Said we'd angered the milk gods. We were so thick we didn't even | 0:06:15 | 0:06:18 | |
know there WERE any milk gods! But it was too late. Thick had run dry. | 0:06:18 | 0:06:22 | |
-The schools have no milk, the babies have no b...b...b... -Beards? | 0:06:22 | 0:06:27 | |
Bottles. And it was a lucky man who could lay his hands on a yoghurt. | 0:06:27 | 0:06:31 | |
It's a terrible thing. The whole town's suffering. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:34 | |
The only person who has any milk is the good witch doctor. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:37 | |
But he has to make that by magic. | 0:06:37 | 0:06:39 | |
Right, then. This is my inn. This is my wife and this is my son. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:43 | |
-Hello. -Hello. -You all right? I'm Prince Dick. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:46 | |
-I'm Prince Dom. -Tom? -Dom. -Tom? | 0:06:46 | 0:06:49 | |
-What? -Dom. -What? | 0:06:49 | 0:06:51 | |
-Eh? -And these are our trusty servants. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:55 | |
-ALL: -All right. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:57 | |
-So what brings you to Thick? -We're looking for some milk. | 0:06:57 | 0:07:00 | |
GASPS AND SCREAMS AND GLASS SMASHES | 0:07:00 | 0:07:03 | |
-Sorry. -You won't find milk for a thousand miles in any direction. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:07 | |
Perhaps we'd better stay HERE tonight...? | 0:07:07 | 0:07:10 | |
Well, stay there, then. | 0:07:11 | 0:07:13 | |
In. | 0:07:13 | 0:07:15 | |
-Right, one milkshake? -That's mine. | 0:07:20 | 0:07:22 | |
There's no milk. So, just the shake. | 0:07:22 | 0:07:25 | |
Ah! Yeah! | 0:07:25 | 0:07:26 | |
Ah! | 0:07:26 | 0:07:28 | |
Here's your cheese and biscuits. Obviously, no cheese. | 0:07:28 | 0:07:31 | |
Oh, and we've run out of biscuits. SNORING | 0:07:31 | 0:07:34 | |
What a great birthday I'M having(!) | 0:07:34 | 0:07:38 | |
At least I've got my surprise to look forward to. Can't wait! | 0:07:38 | 0:07:43 | |
We'll come back to that later. | 0:07:43 | 0:07:44 | |
Now, listen, we need to think of a plan. | 0:07:44 | 0:07:47 | |
If we're gonna continue this quest and get back home, | 0:07:47 | 0:07:50 | |
we need to think of a way to... | 0:07:50 | 0:07:52 | |
make milk. | 0:07:52 | 0:07:54 | |
-Why don't we milk a dog? -Don't be so stupid! | 0:08:03 | 0:08:05 | |
We can do better than that! | 0:08:05 | 0:08:07 | |
Like mother always said, "You can milk anything with nipples." | 0:08:11 | 0:08:15 | |
-Are you sure it's even a girl dog? -DOG WHINES | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
It'll be fine! | 0:08:21 | 0:08:23 | |
DOG YELPS | 0:08:26 | 0:08:28 | |
DICK SCREAMS | 0:08:28 | 0:08:30 | |
Stupid dog! | 0:08:30 | 0:08:32 | |
So that's one plan down - what else have we come up with? | 0:08:32 | 0:08:36 | |
This is the milk spell of King Semi of Skimmedon. | 0:08:36 | 0:08:39 | |
It is passed down from one wizard to the next. | 0:08:39 | 0:08:43 | |
-How did YOU get it, then? -And is it going to work? | 0:08:43 | 0:08:46 | |
Shh! You must never question the ancient art of wizardry. | 0:08:46 | 0:08:50 | |
It's about 50-50, then. | 0:08:50 | 0:08:52 | |
What is that strange man doing, Mummy? | 0:08:54 | 0:08:57 | |
He's going to turn that bucket of manure into milk and save us | 0:08:57 | 0:09:00 | |
-with his heroic magic. -Get in! | 0:09:00 | 0:09:02 | |
Honda...Masala... | 0:09:02 | 0:09:05 | |
Vectra... | 0:09:05 | 0:09:07 | |
Harpic! | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
FLY BUZZES | 0:09:15 | 0:09:16 | |
HE SNIFFS THEN RETCHES | 0:09:16 | 0:09:18 | |
Oh...! | 0:09:21 | 0:09:23 | |
So, basically, it's like a rain dance, | 0:09:25 | 0:09:27 | |
but instead of water, we get milk. | 0:09:27 | 0:09:29 | |
I feel like a proper idiot. | 0:09:29 | 0:09:30 | |
-Somebody call? -Not you. -Oh. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:33 | |
-Go on, then. -Right, just follow me. -Right. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:38 | |
DOM GRUNTS AND DICK REPEATS | 0:09:38 | 0:09:40 | |
THEY SCAT | 0:10:02 | 0:10:05 | |
Milky! Milky! | 0:10:21 | 0:10:25 | |
-So you think that'll work, then? -THUNDER CRACKS | 0:10:27 | 0:10:30 | |
-Of course. -HEAVENLY CHOIR SINGS | 0:10:30 | 0:10:31 | |
-Milk! -Yeah! | 0:10:36 | 0:10:37 | |
Milk! | 0:10:37 | 0:10:38 | |
CROW CAWS | 0:10:38 | 0:10:41 | |
-Not milk! -DOM RETCHES | 0:10:43 | 0:10:44 | |
Definitely not milk! | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
Not milk! | 0:10:48 | 0:10:49 | |
This better not be my birthday surprise. | 0:10:49 | 0:10:53 | |
This is beneath the dignity of a talented wizard. | 0:10:53 | 0:10:55 | |
Well, YOU shouldn't have any problems, should you? | 0:10:55 | 0:10:57 | |
We're running out of ideas. | 0:10:57 | 0:10:59 | |
We never had any ideas. | 0:10:59 | 0:11:01 | |
-Put it on. Put it on! -Come on. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:04 | |
What's the one thing that'll attract cows back to a town? Bulls! | 0:11:04 | 0:11:08 | |
And this is one handsome bull! | 0:11:08 | 0:11:10 | |
Now, run around these fields and you'll have cows following you back | 0:11:11 | 0:11:15 | |
-before you can say... -Moo? -Moo. | 0:11:15 | 0:11:18 | |
-(MUFFLED:) -I suppose it is rather an adventure. | 0:11:18 | 0:11:20 | |
Shut up. | 0:11:20 | 0:11:22 | |
See you later! It'll be fine! | 0:11:22 | 0:11:23 | |
And so Lutin and Mannitol set out to find and entice | 0:11:25 | 0:11:29 | |
back the missing cows of Thick... | 0:11:29 | 0:11:31 | |
..helped on by some of the local children. | 0:11:33 | 0:11:36 | |
CHILDREN SHOUT | 0:11:36 | 0:11:38 | |
-Milk-divining sticks? -Yep. | 0:11:41 | 0:11:45 | |
Got them for thruppence on Ye-bay. They're the latest thing. | 0:11:45 | 0:11:48 | |
You've heard of water-divining sticks that find water? | 0:11:48 | 0:11:51 | |
These are milk-divining sticks to find milk. | 0:11:51 | 0:11:53 | |
And you didn't think to mention these before the others dressed up | 0:11:53 | 0:11:55 | |
and made idiots of themselves?! | 0:11:55 | 0:11:57 | |
No. | 0:11:57 | 0:11:59 | |
All right, let's give them a go. | 0:11:59 | 0:12:00 | |
WHOOSHING | 0:12:04 | 0:12:05 | |
Oh. | 0:12:05 | 0:12:06 | |
-WHOOSHING -Ooh. | 0:12:06 | 0:12:07 | |
-WHOOSHING -Ooh! | 0:12:07 | 0:12:10 | |
ZAPPING | 0:12:10 | 0:12:12 | |
Ah...! | 0:12:13 | 0:12:15 | |
Doesn't seem to be... Ah! | 0:12:15 | 0:12:17 | |
THEY SCREAM | 0:12:17 | 0:12:19 | |
We must be near a cow soon. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:30 | |
I wonder where we are. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:33 | |
TINKLING Wait. | 0:12:33 | 0:12:34 | |
I can hear running water! | 0:12:34 | 0:12:36 | |
Yes, my apologies. I was desperate. | 0:12:36 | 0:12:38 | |
Oh! They'd better get me TWO birthday presents for this. | 0:12:38 | 0:12:42 | |
And a huge cake...made of gold. RUSTLING | 0:12:42 | 0:12:45 | |
-Did you hear that? -Eh? It's probably just your dodgy hip. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:49 | |
I told you, I know a doctor - he'll do you a great deal. | 0:12:49 | 0:12:52 | |
RUSTLING | 0:12:52 | 0:12:53 | |
There it is again. I think someone's coming. | 0:12:53 | 0:12:55 | |
Hello? Who's there? I know magic! | 0:12:55 | 0:13:00 | |
-Ooh! -Oh! | 0:13:00 | 0:13:02 | |
I've got grazes all over my body! | 0:13:07 | 0:13:11 | |
Really? I haven't got a scratch on me! | 0:13:11 | 0:13:13 | |
Oh, hang on a minute - there's a speed control after all. | 0:13:13 | 0:13:18 | |
They don't work anyway! There's no milk anywhere! | 0:13:18 | 0:13:21 | |
-Don't get angry. -Well, don't do that. | 0:13:21 | 0:13:24 | |
-What, this? -Yes. Don't do that! | 0:13:24 | 0:13:25 | |
One more time, I'm telling you, one more time! | 0:13:25 | 0:13:28 | |
Right! | 0:13:28 | 0:13:31 | |
CRASH! | 0:13:31 | 0:13:32 | |
I'm better now. | 0:13:36 | 0:13:38 | |
Anyway, where in this evil milk-forgotten land are we? | 0:13:38 | 0:13:41 | |
Oh! | 0:13:42 | 0:13:43 | |
Oh. | 0:13:43 | 0:13:45 | |
Oh. | 0:13:45 | 0:13:47 | |
BOTH: Oh...! | 0:13:47 | 0:13:49 | |
DOOR CREAKS | 0:13:52 | 0:13:54 | |
Ah! You must be Dick and Dom. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:56 | |
How did you know that? | 0:13:58 | 0:13:59 | |
I am the witch doctor. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
I know everything. | 0:14:01 | 0:14:02 | |
-Ooh... -Pah! Right(!) | 0:14:02 | 0:14:03 | |
You are princes. You are on a quest. YOU don't like walnuts. | 0:14:03 | 0:14:09 | |
-YOU haven't changed your pants for six days. -Now I believe you. | 0:14:09 | 0:14:14 | |
So, you must come in. To find the milk that you seek, follow me. | 0:14:14 | 0:14:19 | |
Yes, master, my milky, witchy man. | 0:14:19 | 0:14:23 | |
Yes, come, come, come. | 0:14:23 | 0:14:25 | |
EVIL LAUGH | 0:14:25 | 0:14:28 | |
DOOR CREAKS | 0:14:28 | 0:14:31 | |
Michael here was just leaving. | 0:14:31 | 0:14:34 | |
There you go, Michael - the milk for your poor, sick children. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:38 | |
Oh, thank you, kind witch doctor! | 0:14:38 | 0:14:42 | |
-Thank you. -I ask for no thanks, | 0:14:42 | 0:14:45 | |
save a small donation to the milk gods, of course. | 0:14:45 | 0:14:49 | |
Yes, of course, good doctor. | 0:14:49 | 0:14:52 | |
That will make the milk gods very angry! | 0:15:02 | 0:15:05 | |
Arrivan... | 0:15:15 | 0:15:16 | |
HE CLICKS HIS TONGUE Eduit... | 0:15:18 | 0:15:20 | |
Eboombah. | 0:15:22 | 0:15:25 | |
EVIL LAUGH | 0:15:37 | 0:15:38 | |
Ah! | 0:15:41 | 0:15:44 | |
EVIL LAUGH | 0:15:44 | 0:15:49 | |
I am so lucky I can help the people of this unfortunate barren kingdom. | 0:15:49 | 0:15:54 | |
Those poor cows. | 0:15:54 | 0:15:58 | |
Nobody knows what happened to them, OK? | 0:15:58 | 0:16:00 | |
MOOING | 0:16:00 | 0:16:02 | |
Hang on a minute! Was that a...? | 0:16:02 | 0:16:04 | |
Chicken, yes. With a sore throat. | 0:16:04 | 0:16:06 | |
Oh. So, oh, great witch doctor, | 0:16:06 | 0:16:10 | |
can we have a pint of milk? | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
Of course, my poor, tired travellers! | 0:16:12 | 0:16:14 | |
I shall go and cast the milk enchantment, | 0:16:14 | 0:16:18 | |
using dark, secret, terrible magic no man should ever set his eyes upon. | 0:16:18 | 0:16:24 | |
-Can we watch? -No. -Can I watch? -No. | 0:16:24 | 0:16:26 | |
-I think we best just leave him to it. -Yes, listen to your sister. | 0:16:26 | 0:16:30 | |
We-hey! Squirt it, baby! MOOING | 0:16:37 | 0:16:41 | |
Give it to me! Big sausages! Fill me up with milk! I love it! | 0:16:41 | 0:16:45 | |
BUCKET CRASHES Ooh, my foot! Ah, come on! | 0:16:45 | 0:16:47 | |
MOOING | 0:16:47 | 0:16:49 | |
BUCKET CRASHES | 0:16:49 | 0:16:51 | |
The dark art is complete. | 0:16:54 | 0:16:57 | |
-Here is your milk. -Brilliant. Right, let's get out of here. -Wait! | 0:16:57 | 0:17:01 | |
MOOING | 0:17:01 | 0:17:02 | |
I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry, but... | 0:17:02 | 0:17:04 | |
-haven't you just got a cow? -There are no cows. It is made by magic. | 0:17:04 | 0:17:08 | |
Yeah, cow-shaped magic! | 0:17:08 | 0:17:10 | |
It comes from my special apparatus. | 0:17:10 | 0:17:12 | |
-Which is actually a cow! -There are no cows here! Certain people | 0:17:12 | 0:17:15 | |
ought to be very careful. | 0:17:15 | 0:17:17 | |
Certain people are interfering in things they know nothing about. | 0:17:17 | 0:17:21 | |
-Certain people might get hurt. -Sounds terrible. | 0:17:21 | 0:17:24 | |
-Who are these people? We should tell them. -I think he means us. | 0:17:24 | 0:17:28 | |
We should take that milk and get out of here. We've completed our quest. | 0:17:28 | 0:17:31 | |
No! Your quest is finished! | 0:17:31 | 0:17:33 | |
-No! -Don't! -Whoopsie! | 0:17:33 | 0:17:36 | |
The only thing you'll get from me now | 0:17:36 | 0:17:39 | |
is the other stuff that comes out of a cow! | 0:17:39 | 0:17:41 | |
Whatever you think you've seen here today, forget it! | 0:17:41 | 0:17:44 | |
That's not what the people of Thick will say when they find out! | 0:17:44 | 0:17:47 | |
The people of Thick are thick! They think clouds are fat sheep | 0:17:47 | 0:17:50 | |
that can fly in the sky! Nobody will believe you. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:53 | |
You're dealing with something you don't understand. | 0:17:53 | 0:17:56 | |
Get out of Thick! Get out of this kingdom and never come back! | 0:17:56 | 0:17:59 | |
Argh! | 0:17:59 | 0:18:01 | |
Oh... | 0:18:04 | 0:18:05 | |
So, it's pretty obvious who's got all the cows, then? | 0:18:05 | 0:18:09 | |
Yeah! ..Oh, it's him, isn't it? | 0:18:09 | 0:18:11 | |
Yeah. That guy gives me the hoobies anyway. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:14 | |
-He's nothing more than a freaky... -Freaky. -..messed-up... -Messed-up. | 0:18:14 | 0:18:18 | |
..cow-killing, utter, utter... | 0:18:18 | 0:18:21 | |
Still here? SCREAMING | 0:18:21 | 0:18:24 | |
Lutin, where are we? | 0:18:27 | 0:18:30 | |
It smells dank and musty. | 0:18:30 | 0:18:33 | |
That's me again. | 0:18:33 | 0:18:35 | |
I wish you'd stop doing that! Hello! | 0:18:35 | 0:18:38 | |
Is this my birthday surprise? Help! | 0:18:38 | 0:18:42 | |
Come, come, Lutin. What's the worst that could happen? | 0:18:42 | 0:18:45 | |
DOOR CREAKS SPOOKILY | 0:18:45 | 0:18:48 | |
FOOTSTEPS | 0:18:48 | 0:18:50 | |
So, what exactly happened a year ago? | 0:18:55 | 0:18:59 | |
-All the cows went missing. -Aha! | 0:18:59 | 0:19:01 | |
And what else happened a year ago? | 0:19:01 | 0:19:04 | |
Eh...the witch doctor arrived. | 0:19:04 | 0:19:07 | |
Ah! So, what does this tell us? | 0:19:07 | 0:19:11 | |
I've got it! > | 0:19:11 | 0:19:13 | |
The witch doctor's actually a cow! | 0:19:13 | 0:19:14 | |
No, the witch doctor's a thief! | 0:19:14 | 0:19:17 | |
He's captured your cows and is selling you back your milk! | 0:19:17 | 0:19:20 | |
That's pretty clever! No, no - bad, bad. Evil, naughty witch doctor. | 0:19:20 | 0:19:24 | |
But how can he sell us our milk when we haven't got any? | 0:19:24 | 0:19:27 | |
Argh! You're all so thick! | 0:19:27 | 0:19:29 | |
Thank you! Thank you! | 0:19:29 | 0:19:31 | |
It's no good. They've all got brains the size of a peanut. | 0:19:31 | 0:19:35 | |
I find that comment deeply offensive! | 0:19:35 | 0:19:37 | |
Look, this is hopeless. Come on. Let's get out of here. | 0:19:37 | 0:19:41 | |
Thank you, kind thickos. We'll leave and carry on our quest. | 0:19:41 | 0:19:44 | |
Have you seen our companions, by the way, Mannitol, Lutin? | 0:19:44 | 0:19:47 | |
-Last seen dressed as a bull, should have been here hours ago. -Oh, no. | 0:19:47 | 0:19:51 | |
But my boy here did find these | 0:19:51 | 0:19:53 | |
up on the moors. | 0:19:53 | 0:19:56 | |
Said there'd been a struggle. But no sign of your friends. | 0:19:56 | 0:20:00 | |
You know what this means! | 0:20:00 | 0:20:01 | |
They've been...kidnapped! | 0:20:01 | 0:20:03 | |
# DUM-DUM-DUM! # | 0:20:03 | 0:20:06 | |
-Hang on a minute. -Hmm? | 0:20:06 | 0:20:08 | |
A kid's a goat, isn't it? | 0:20:08 | 0:20:09 | |
Oh, yeah! You know what this means! | 0:20:09 | 0:20:12 | |
They've been...bull-napped! | 0:20:12 | 0:20:14 | |
# DUM-DUM-DUM! # | 0:20:14 | 0:20:19 | |
It's got to be the witch doctor. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:21 | |
He's taken their cows and now our friends. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:23 | |
We must go back there and rescue them. But we need... | 0:20:23 | 0:20:26 | |
a disguise. | 0:20:26 | 0:20:28 | |
CREAKING | 0:20:28 | 0:20:30 | |
These are the worst disguises ever. | 0:20:46 | 0:20:49 | |
They're the best I could do. And they were cheap. | 0:20:49 | 0:20:51 | |
Yeah, but no-one's going to fall for this! | 0:20:51 | 0:20:54 | |
Evening, ladies. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:56 | |
Well, no-one that's not thick anyway. | 0:20:56 | 0:20:59 | |
Where would an evil witch doctor hide a load of cows? | 0:20:59 | 0:21:02 | |
How about the cow barn? | 0:21:02 | 0:21:04 | |
Nah. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:06 | |
How about...the cow barn? | 0:21:06 | 0:21:07 | |
Yeah. | 0:21:07 | 0:21:09 | |
-Is it safe? -I can't tell. | 0:21:13 | 0:21:16 | |
-You CAN tell me, I'm your brother. -No, I can't tell, it's a bit dark. | 0:21:16 | 0:21:20 | |
WHINNYING AND MOOING | 0:21:23 | 0:21:25 | |
WHINNYING AND MOOING | 0:21:25 | 0:21:26 | |
-Knew it! -Impressive cows, aren't they? | 0:21:26 | 0:21:28 | |
-Yeah, they are. Why are you speaking like that, Dom? -It wasn't me. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:32 | |
So, you couldn't resist it, huh? Needed your precious milk. | 0:21:32 | 0:21:35 | |
Well, now you've found it. Lots of it. | 0:21:35 | 0:21:38 | |
My little milk factory, OK? | 0:21:38 | 0:21:41 | |
There's only a dozen cows. What have you done with the rest? | 0:21:41 | 0:21:45 | |
-I'm feeding them. -Oh, at least you're treating them nicely. | 0:21:45 | 0:21:48 | |
I'm feeding them... | 0:21:48 | 0:21:50 | |
to Daisy. | 0:21:50 | 0:21:52 | |
MOOING | 0:21:52 | 0:21:53 | |
LOUD MOOING | 0:21:57 | 0:22:00 | |
Oh! | 0:22:00 | 0:22:02 | |
LOUD MOOING | 0:22:02 | 0:22:03 | |
-BOTH: -Blimey! | 0:22:03 | 0:22:04 | |
This is where the cows have been going, | 0:22:04 | 0:22:06 | |
my little princes - to feed Daisy, | 0:22:06 | 0:22:09 | |
my monster cow. LOUD MOOING | 0:22:09 | 0:22:11 | |
Soon there will be no other cows left, | 0:22:11 | 0:22:13 | |
and all the milk will be mine! EVIL LAUGH | 0:22:13 | 0:22:16 | |
Those thickos will pay for their stupidity. | 0:22:16 | 0:22:19 | |
And nobody's going to stop me, | 0:22:19 | 0:22:21 | |
especially not two snivelling little cowards like you! | 0:22:21 | 0:22:24 | |
Actually, we are witch inspectors. | 0:22:24 | 0:22:27 | |
Yes, throw down your weapons and remove your horny hat. | 0:22:27 | 0:22:31 | |
I think it's a bit late for that. | 0:22:31 | 0:22:33 | |
You know what, you're right. | 0:22:33 | 0:22:35 | |
No-one's going to stop you. Jolly good. Well done. Good plan. | 0:22:35 | 0:22:38 | |
So we'll just turn round and... | 0:22:38 | 0:22:41 | |
I think not. You know too much. | 0:22:41 | 0:22:44 | |
It's time for you and Daisy to get better acquainted, OK? | 0:22:44 | 0:22:47 | |
-I've a different meal planned for her today. -Muesli? | 0:22:47 | 0:22:50 | |
No! You-sli. | 0:22:50 | 0:22:54 | |
Ha-ha! "You-sli"! | 0:22:54 | 0:22:56 | |
LOUD MOOING | 0:22:56 | 0:22:57 | |
LOUD MOOING | 0:22:57 | 0:23:01 | |
-< -Hello? | 0:23:01 | 0:23:03 | |
-Mannitol! -Thank heavens! | 0:23:03 | 0:23:05 | |
-Lutin! -Worst birthday ever! | 0:23:05 | 0:23:09 | |
LOUD MOOING | 0:23:09 | 0:23:10 | |
Enjoy your final moments, OK? | 0:23:10 | 0:23:13 | |
You two will be next. | 0:23:13 | 0:23:16 | |
Farewell, valiant princes! | 0:23:16 | 0:23:18 | |
HE GIBBERS SPELL | 0:23:18 | 0:23:21 | |
EVIL LAUGH | 0:23:22 | 0:23:24 | |
Now you cannot escape! LOUD MOOING | 0:23:24 | 0:23:27 | |
Please do something. | 0:23:28 | 0:23:30 | |
Help! Help! | 0:23:30 | 0:23:32 | |
ALL: It's going to eat us! | 0:23:32 | 0:23:34 | |
SCREAMING | 0:23:34 | 0:23:39 | |
EVIL LAUGH | 0:23:39 | 0:23:41 | |
-MANNITOL: -It's going to eat us! | 0:23:44 | 0:23:47 | |
Argh...! | 0:23:47 | 0:23:49 | |
-DICK: -I know. Let's milk them! | 0:23:49 | 0:23:52 | |
What? Mannitol and Lutin? | 0:23:52 | 0:23:54 | |
No, the big udders. | 0:23:54 | 0:23:55 | |
Help! Help! | 0:23:55 | 0:23:58 | |
-All right, Daisy? -LOUD MOOING | 0:24:01 | 0:24:03 | |
Ah...! | 0:24:03 | 0:24:05 | |
No, no good, nothing. | 0:24:05 | 0:24:07 | |
LOUD MOOING | 0:24:07 | 0:24:09 | |
Oh! Hang on a minute. | 0:24:09 | 0:24:10 | |
I think it's working. | 0:24:10 | 0:24:12 | |
LOUD MOOING | 0:24:17 | 0:24:19 | |
LOUD MOOING | 0:24:35 | 0:24:36 | |
Argh! | 0:24:42 | 0:24:44 | |
My milk! Argh! | 0:24:44 | 0:24:46 | |
-Tom? -Huh? -What's that? | 0:24:46 | 0:24:50 | |
Well, it can't be! | 0:24:51 | 0:24:53 | |
Milk?! | 0:24:53 | 0:24:55 | |
Oh! | 0:24:55 | 0:24:58 | |
My precious milk! | 0:25:02 | 0:25:04 | |
Argh! | 0:25:04 | 0:25:05 | |
And, Daisy, what have they done to you? | 0:25:05 | 0:25:08 | |
Why am standing here talking to myself? | 0:25:08 | 0:25:12 | |
I must flee! | 0:25:12 | 0:25:13 | |
Ah! I did it! | 0:25:17 | 0:25:20 | |
-WE did it! -Whatever. | 0:25:20 | 0:25:22 | |
Our friends are safe, and Daisy is... | 0:25:22 | 0:25:26 | |
HIGH-PITCHED MOO | 0:25:26 | 0:25:27 | |
-..condensed milk. -MOO THEN NEIGHING | 0:25:27 | 0:25:31 | |
-It's the witch doctor. -Yes! Come on! | 0:25:31 | 0:25:34 | |
He's getting away! | 0:25:35 | 0:25:37 | |
-Oh, Tom, you big thick idiot! -Now, now, come on, don't flatter me. | 0:25:43 | 0:25:48 | |
-So what happened? -Well, after you'd gone, we saw all the milk running | 0:25:48 | 0:25:52 | |
down from here and we started to put two and...two together. | 0:25:52 | 0:25:56 | |
My cows! There are my cows! | 0:25:56 | 0:25:58 | |
We know our cows had been stolen, we knew about the barn. | 0:25:58 | 0:26:02 | |
We knew about the on and off switch for the force field. | 0:26:02 | 0:26:05 | |
We knew about you. | 0:26:05 | 0:26:07 | |
-And you stopped the witch doctor getting away! -What? | 0:26:07 | 0:26:11 | |
The witch doctor. You did stop him? | 0:26:11 | 0:26:14 | |
-You stopped the witch doctor getting away? -Why would I do that? | 0:26:14 | 0:26:17 | |
I've just helped him onto his horse. | 0:26:17 | 0:26:19 | |
He's a good bloke, that witch doctor. It's nothing to do with him. | 0:26:19 | 0:26:23 | |
So, how do you think the cows got into the barn?! | 0:26:23 | 0:26:27 | |
Well, just one of those things, I suppose. | 0:26:27 | 0:26:30 | |
Strange things happen in the country. You're not from round here. | 0:26:30 | 0:26:33 | |
Right, there you go. What you came for. One pint of fresh milk. | 0:26:36 | 0:26:40 | |
You know what? I never thought I'd be so pleased to see a pint of milk. | 0:26:40 | 0:26:44 | |
-Eh, Dick? -What? | 0:26:44 | 0:26:46 | |
Oh, sorry. | 0:26:46 | 0:26:48 | |
There you go. | 0:26:50 | 0:26:51 | |
MOOING | 0:26:54 | 0:26:57 | |
CHEERING | 0:27:00 | 0:27:03 | |
A-hem! > | 0:27:05 | 0:27:07 | |
Oh! What a day it's been. | 0:27:08 | 0:27:11 | |
< Today. | 0:27:11 | 0:27:12 | |
This special day... | 0:27:12 | 0:27:15 | |
Oh, yes! | 0:27:16 | 0:27:18 | |
-It's time for your big surprise. -With fresh cream. | 0:27:18 | 0:27:23 | |
Oh! | 0:27:23 | 0:27:25 | |
-Ooh! Very fresh. -Happy birthday! | 0:27:25 | 0:27:28 | |
Actually, it's a bit weird. | 0:27:28 | 0:27:30 | |
It seems like only yesterday that you celebrated your last birthday. | 0:27:30 | 0:27:34 | |
Yeah. | 0:27:34 | 0:27:35 | |
Hang on a minute. It WAS yesterday. And the day before and the... | 0:27:35 | 0:27:40 | |
-She's done it again! -That cost us a month's savings! | 0:27:40 | 0:27:42 | |
Fear not, princes. Lutin may think she's had the last laugh, | 0:27:42 | 0:27:46 | |
but I know something that'll wipe the smile off her face. | 0:27:46 | 0:27:49 | |
Look, someone's taken rather a fancy to her. | 0:27:49 | 0:27:52 | |
MOOING THEN LAUGHTER | 0:27:52 | 0:27:54 | |
And so, the town of Thick at last had tea with milk. | 0:27:57 | 0:28:02 | |
Lutin's birthday was a runaway success. | 0:28:02 | 0:28:05 | |
And Princes Dick and Dom were one step closer to home. | 0:28:05 | 0:28:10 | |
THUNDER OF HOOVES AND LOUD MOOING | 0:28:10 | 0:28:12 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:28:21 | 0:28:24 | |
E-mail [email protected] | 0:28:24 | 0:28:27 |