Land of the Luvvies The Legend of Dick and Dom

Many, many, MANY years ago, a terrible plague

was brought up on the citizens of Fyredor by the wicked Beastmaster.

This dark disease had almost turned the whole kingdom into beasts.

Fortunately, an antidote had been made by the King's only two sons,

Princes Dick and Dom, their trusty mage, Mannitol,

and light-fingered servant, Lutin.

Unfortunately, they were still many miles away,

with the Beastmaster determined to stop them from getting home.

With time running out, our heroes must get back to Fyredor

with the antidote before it's too late.

The Legend Of Dick And Dom

continues!

North-west of Flanbase and just above Creamy Top

lies a forgotten little forest, rarely marked on maps.

It looks like any other forest.

Its trees are normal,

its flowers unremarkable.

Its weather moderate or good.

But a tribe live within it.

A tribe unlike any other in the whole of Bottom World.

A tribe with flair! Sparkle!

Pizzazz!

And a highly infectious love of musical theatre.

Few have ever seen this tribe because, frankly,

their forest isn't on the way to anywhere.

So the fact that our heroes

find themselves in the middle of it can only mean one thing.

We're lost.

Rubbish! I remember this.

What do you remember?

I remember that tree.

I remember this bush. And, oh, yeah,

I remember this twig.

I knew it.

Listen, I think we should retrace our steps.

All right.

Oh, brilliant!

Pathetic little amateurs.

Your bumbling antics are no match for the all-powerful Beastmaster,

commander of the animal kingdom, destroyer of all that is "nice".

With these highly-trained wasps,

the phial of antidote will finally be mine.

Soon, the plague will spread from Fyredor,

to Bottom World, to infinity!

Fly! Fly, my little... Ooh! Ooh, you little... Ow! Ow!

This is ridiculous! Right, you lot stay here.

I'm going to find out where we are. Hm!

Ooooh!

Now, this wasn't the first time Dom had got annoyed recently.

Argh! Argh!

Well, give me some blanket, then!

AHHHH!

The Quest had finally got to him.

The months of travelling, the harsh weather, the gnat bites.

Eventually, the whole thing had just become too much.

ARGH!

What's that?

Do you think he's all right?

# Luvvies!

# We're Luvvies

# Showbusiness beast

# Theatrical artistes

# We're Luvvies

# We're Luvvies!

Well, darlings, what have we here?

Come to join our fabulous little tribe, have you, sweetie?

# Hidden from society We are hooked on variety

# A merry band live a life of play

# You can drag us through the mud We've got the theatre in our blood

# We just pirouette our troubles away. #

That's when a rather odd thing happened.

Something deep inside Dom changed.

A long-held question about himself was finally answered.

# The world is our stage Every day is a page

# In a musical of life that's revealing

# So if you're enthusiastic # Come trip the light fantastic

# Go on Admit it's quite appealing. #

And he had to admit it WAS appealing.

What if he's really in trouble?

-We'd know if he was really in trouble.

-How?

He'd scream or something.

OK. Let's have a look.

All right, my loves?

Oh, you're all right, then?

Yeah, I'm wonderful, darling. Everything's absolutely marvellous.

Just met some lovely people.

-Absolute sweethearts.

-Right...

Yeah, they recommended this fabulous route through the forests.

Come on, Sugar Plum. Chop-chop.

All right? Don't dawdle, dear.

-Is it sunstroke?

-Not with the weather we've been having.

- Did he eat something? - Same as us.

Then what is it?

-Prince Dom, are you all right?

-Hm?

-Need a little lie down?

Lie down? Whatever for?

The show must go on, darling!

Luvvies!

-They look clean.

-Don't you fall for it.

-What do you mean? It's a trick?

-They're faking it.

No, we just need somewhere to rest, freshen up and all that.

Some of us are very...tired.

Make way.

-Did you meet anyone along the way?

-No.

Any... How can I put this?

-Flamboyant characters?

-No, no, no. Absolutely not.

You're the first people we've seen in seven days.

Well, there's only one way to be sure. You, come here.

HE PLAYS A TUNE

-What?

-Not tempted to a tango, are we?

Perhaps a quick paso doble?

No, not really.

He's clean, let him in. ..You.

A little jig, perhaps? Soft-shoe shuffle?

I honestly don't know what you mean.

Next?

Step ball change mean anything to you?

He's clean. Right, you.

Luvvies!

# Try to resist but truth can't escape you

# You may persist but the feeling will take you

# Something inside, just wait and see

# Something inside, finally free. #

Boo!

THEY JEER

# You want to dance! You want to swing!

# You want to prance!

# You want to sing!

# You want to dance, swing, prance, sing!

# Dance and swing, prance and sing Everybody will do their thing! #

Very shocking! Poor!

# Today, you resist But the truth can't escape you

# There's gore and a twist We're going to break you

# Something inside A passion that's burning

# A lifelong theatrical yearning. #

You're wasting your time, Lottie.

We'll have to see, Norman, dear.

You'll never spread your vile theatrics in this village.

Something tells me that your

sad little island of dullness will disappear sooner than you think.

Toodle-oo, darling.

You can see why we have to be so careful.

If just one Luvvie gets in here, it's all over.

What do you mean?

Luvviness is highly contagious.

A quick jazz hands in the face and, before you know it, you'll

all be doing high kicks and thinking everything's marvellous.

Is there a cure?

Not as far as we know.

But we are trying.

We seem to have traced the source of Luvviness to this.

Prosopocoilus theatricalus.

Or the acting bug, as it's more commonly known.

It's extremely rare.

We think Lottie, the leader of the Luvvies, was accidentally bitten on

an orienteering holiday last July.

WOMAN SCREAMS

You're all so wonderful.

That was over a year ago, now.

So far, all our attempts to find a cure have proved

completely unsuccessful.

# You can tie me up in chains You can trap me in a cage

# No matter where you hold me I'll find my own stage! #

We live in hope.

So, you can stay here tonight, collect whatever supplies you need.

But, in the morning, I will have to ask you to...

No, that's fine. We don't want to cause you any trouble.

Oi! Don't let your peas mix with your carrots.

We can't have that. And keep this queue straight.

-20cms between each person, come on.

-Sorry.

Everyone stay exactly where they are.

And what, may I ask,

is that?

It's, erm...

It's, erm...

I don't know how it got there, Norman, sir. It just landed there.

I'm not a Luvvie.

Honest, I'm not. I hate show tunes.

Look, that's my best jazz hands.

Guards, take him away for testing.

Right. Anyone else?

Be vigilant, my friends. Trust no-one.

This disease is everywhere.

Dom's one of them, it's obvious.

-I'm not so sure.

-What do you mean?

-How many times can he call us Sugar Plum?

-Just look at him!

-He looks completely normal.

-That's cos he knows we're on to him.

We need to find out for certain.

-All right?

-Fine.

How about you, "darling"?

Yeah, fine.

Thanks for asking.

Anything you'd like to tell us?

Or maybe sing?

What about this?

Getting excited?

I've no idea what you mean.

I know!

What?

HE SNORES

Oh...!

MUSIC PLAYS

-Oi! What are you doing?

-I'm...

Why have you got that xylophone?

-It's not a....

-He's one of them!

-No, no, no!

-Oi!

Come here, you Luvvie!

Whoo!

-He's one of them!

-Whoo!

-He's a Luvvie!

Wait, let me through.

Dom?

# I tried to suppress it Deny it and hide

# But however you dress it There's music inside. #

-Dom, it's Dick, listen.

-Go away, darling. I just want to...

# Sing from the tree tops Dance on a cloud

# Scream to the heavens

# I'm a Luvvie and I'm proud! #

-We're going to have to go in.

-No, he'll infect you.

But we need him for the quest. We can't just leave him.

It's too late for that now.

We'll have to lure him into a cage.

-Use something as bait.

-I have just the thing.

Just take it easy, Dom.

-We're not going to hurt you.

-Stay away from me, sugar plum.

Just relax. Everything's going to be fine.

I'm not like you any more.

It doesn't matter.

-We're just here to give you a nice little treat.

-Ooh.

Come on, Dom. Lovely colours.

Nice fluffy colours.

There you go, you see?

-Look out, jazz hands.

-Oh. Argh!

Ah!

BOOING

Open the gates, open the gates.

Relax, everyone. We're safe again.

Is that it? Is that the last we'll ever see of Prince Dom?

-I'm afraid it is.

-Oh, well.

# You thought you were alone Ashamed to shake, ashamed to giggle

# But now you're home Allowed to jump, allowed to wiggle

# Welcome to the land of the Luvvies

# Together all Luvvies will be strong

# Welcome to the land of the Luvvies

# You finally found the place where you belong. #

Oh, darling.

You know, darling, you must have been marvellous in there.

Deceiving your friends,

pretending to be dull.

You know, I think you would make a wonderful actor.

No, don't.

-You're so sweet.

-No seriously, love,

it really has been an absolute pleasure working with you.

Oh!

And you know, your talents are about to come in very, very handy.

When you're ready, these guards will escort you out of forest.

-I'm sorry about your friend.

-Thank you.

Yes, thanks for everything, for the hut, the water,

-the food.

-Yes, I loved the food.

-Absolutely marvellous.

-Yeah.

Everyone's been so nice.

-Don't you think?

-Yes, you have all been complete darlings.

-Guards, grab him!

-He's turned. He's turned luvvie.

What? What do you mean?

-He called us all darlings.

-What's wrong with that?

It's true you have all been wonderful.

My lab, now.

-What?

-I hear you've been having a bit of a luvvie problem.

-Too right.

Flouncing about are they?

Flouncing? That's only the half of it!

Flouncing, fluffing, high-kicking.

Oh dear, oh dear! Well your troubles are over.

-We are here to inoculate the whole area.

-No.

Yes. You'll never even have the slightest luvvie thought.

In that case you'd better come on in. Ah!

-What?

-Don't I know you?

-You sure?

Your face, very familiar.

Oh well maybe it's because of this!

Whoo!

Of course you can, come on in! Come on in!

Dancy, dancy, dancy! Ha ha ha!

Oh, this is ridiculous, it really is.

Then you won't mind taking the test, will you?

Of course I don't mind I just think it's a total waste of time.

Well we'll see about that.

What did I tell you?

Argh!

Argh.

I just don't understand.

Doesn't make sense.

Hey Dick you give it a go.

-Don't resist it, my dears.

-It's him!

The acting bug.

Whoo!

Could I just say I really would rather not spend the rest of the day

tied to this chair!

Come on my loves, let's not make them feel left out.

-Quickly, my place.

-Oh!

Oh!

In here.

-Here use this chair.

-Don't.

Sorry. Please be careful. Everything is just how I like it.

You like to keep things tidy, don't you?

# No place to hide

# Just free your luvvie side. #

Must lock every exit.

# Luvvies

# We're luvvies

# Show business beast

# Theatrical artiste

# We're luvvies. #

Can I just say before we go any further,

it's an absolute thrill working with all of you on this.

Darling!

Ow!

Oh! Oh, that's it then.

-Sorry about the mess.

-No, no it's fine.

Absolutely fine.

That's weird. I'm not a luvvie.

I'm the last one left now, you know, the only villager without a bit

of salsa in his step, without vibrato in his voice.

Without everything being marvellous, wonderful and super.

-Quick! They're breaking through.

-We've got to do something.

-What?

-I don't know, but we can't let them win.

# Luvvies

# We're luvvies... #

I have got an idea.

# Hidden from society, we're hooked on variety

# Our merry band live a life of play

# You can drag us through the mud

# We've got theatre in our blood

# We'll just pirouette our troubles away. #

It's working! Come on, Norman, your turn.

# The world is our stage

# Every day is a page in a musical

# Of life that is free really... #

GASPS

Quick. Run!

Coming through!

Open the gates!

It seems like our friend has a little explaining to do.

-There isn't time.

-Turns out there's no such thing as

-prospercoilus theatricalus.

-What?

-Please, just open the gate.

Yeah, more about it.

What all the feather boas and stage clothes in your hut, huh?

-I can't. I won't.

-What?

All right. I admit it!

-I'm a luvvie.

-Oh!

# For years I tried to hide it

# Push it deep inside

# For years I denied it and all that it implied

# You see I tried to be a luvvie

# Tried to join the dance

# With left feet beneath me

# I never stood a chance

# A luvvie has to dance in time

# A luvvie cannot fall

# A luvvie without rhythm is no luvvie at all. #

# Stop your complaining, stop your misery

# It make things turning those simple goods are free

# A luvvie shouldn't be ashamed, a luvvie shouldn't hide

# A luvvie shouldn't be afraid to sing and dance with pride

# Sing and dance with pride

# Sing and dance with pride

# Sing and dance with pride

# Sing and dance with pride. #

# So, Norman, please tell us, let's have some answers, please

# Is luvvieness just made up or a medical disease?

# These instincts are normal

# Everybody has them

# We all have hands for routine stuff

# It's your choice how you jazz them

# These instincts are normal, everybody has them

# We all have hands for routine stuff

# It's your choice how much to jazz them. #

Mwah! Mwah! Lovely working with you.

Darling, I will never forget you.

Take care, be a good girl.

So nobody everybody ever had it?

You don't understand. There's nothing in the first place.

-Everyone's a bit luvvie, you see?

-Oh, so we're all infected?

-No.

Norman tricked them into thinking it is was a disease,

so whenever they got jazz hands, they thought they had caught it.

And started displaying the symptoms.

So they haven't got it?

-We've all got it.

-So when did we get infected?

-We didn't.

-Oh, so we're clean?

No.

And so our heroes left the land of the luvvies, with everyone now free

to celebrate their theatrical side

and with Prince Dom completely confused.

So I am actually a luvvie?

-Partly, yes.

-But I'm not infected?

-Correct.

-I've got it.

So it's actually part of all of us, but they thought it was an illness

and they were convinced it was being passed on.

Finally!

-Is there a cure?

-No!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd