Forget Me Nuts The Legend of Dick and Dom

Many, many, MANY years ago, a terrible plague was

brought on the citizens of Fyredor by the wicked Beastmaster.

This dark disease had almost turned the whole kingdom into beasts.

Fortunately, an antidote had been made by the king's

only two sons, Princes Dick and Dom, their trusty mage Mannitol

and light-fingered servant Lutin.

Unfortunately, they were still many miles away,

with the Beastmaster determined to stop them from getting home.

With time running out, our heroes must get back to Fyredor

with the antidote before it's too late.

The Legend of Dick and Dom continues!

SNORING

It seems that our heroes are asleep on the job.

But when they wake up, they're going to find that their heads

are even more empty than usual.

-Morning.

-How do?

Um... You are?

I haven't got the faintest idea. How about you, Mr...?

-Not a clue.

-Mr Nottacloo?

No, I mean I've not a clue who I am.

Does anyone know who they are?

Hello. I am Mannitol.

# Hi, my name is... #

-Prince Dick.

-# My name is... #

Lutin. # My name is... #

Prince Dom. Don't you know who we are?

Yeah! Uh, who are we?

I am Winston Fiddle.

How about a chunk of...

-Wendy?

-Dick loves it.

-Name?

# Hi, my name is... # Prince Dom.

-# My name is... #

-Mannitol!

# My name is... # Lutin.

We are princes Dick and Dom.

I'm Morris. Hello.

I'm Farty Whiffers.

-I am Mr William Payment.

-Prince Dick, please.

Then you must be...

Or you could be...

Or who could forget about...

-# Hi, my name is... #

-Dom!

-# My name is... #

-Prince Dick.

# My name is... # Mannitol?

We are princes Dick and Dom.

-Well, I'm Prince Dick.

-Prince Dick?

This is Prince Dom, my brother.

-Brother...

-This is our servant, Lutin.

-Servant, Lutin...

-And our mage, Mannitol.

-And Maid Marion.

Right. You're Dick, you're Dom. You're both princes from Fyredor.

Princes Dick and Dom?

-Prince Dom.

-Dick, give me a hand.

Brrr! Dick-a-dick-a, ooh! Wack-a-paw!

I am Prince Dom

and this is my brother, Dick.

Princes? How impressive!

Yes. It is impressive, isn't it?

This is brilliant! We're princes!

Prince Dick and Prince Dom!

That means you must be our slave.

I'll have a ham sandwich, without any crusts.

No, I don't remember it being like that.

Mannitol, you were travelling with us. You were carrying this staff.

Ooh! I must be a very powerful wizard.

-I knew I was important.

-Ah!

There was a girl. A girl with us, as well.

Lutin! I wonder where she's got to.

Probably off buying shoes. Girls like doing that.

Yeah, yeah.

Maybe if we can work out where we've been,

we can work out where we're going as well.

Or where we are now, for that matter.

Let's have a look.

ARGH! Not the face! Or the body!

Or anything!

-Look at their heads!

-Ma commatedge, ma commatedge, me commata?

Chakka makka tah?

Chakka makka tey?

Chakka makka wooby?

They must be using some form of advanced communication.

Greetings, travellers. It's evident your intellect

is far inferior to ours.

Therefore, we will converse with you in a more...

rudimentary tongue.

-Uh, you what?

-It's obvious, Fry, that even that is too tricky.

Leave it to me. YOU...

SPEAKIE...

-THE DUMBO LANGUAGE?

-Oh, yes.

We are the Bigheads.

-I wonder why they call them that.

-Shut up!

I am Fry, IQ 251.

And I am Bragg. IQ 2...6...9.

We control the Brainwave Tollgate.

You must contribute a levy before you penetrate.

What he means it is, pay us the toll

or you're not going through, spongebrains!

# You thought you were alone

# Ashamed to shake, ashamed to giggle

# But now you are home

# Allowed to jump, allowed to wiggle

# Welcome to the Land of the Luvvies!

# Together all Luvvies will be strong

Welcome to the Land of the Luvvies!

# You've finally found the place where you belong. #

Ow!

Ow...

I'm beginning to agree with that boatman. I hate the sss...

-Sea!

-Yes, thank you.

Fear not, Lutin. I know everything there is to know about sailing.

Yeah, you look like to do.

Thanks. Port, starboard.

Hoist the mainbrace. Ease behind you.

"Oh no he isn't!" Oh, yes he is.

Pass me the futtock shrouds.

Oh, bum. PHRRRT, PHRRRT

Oh, Prince Dick, can you please stop doing that?

That is not the purpose of a poop deck.

Really?

WOMAN SINGING

-Oh!

-Ah!

-Ahh! Ah!

Mannitol. Please tell me, what is that wondrous singing?

I know not, Prince Dom.

But it truly is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.

GRINDING

What are you talking about? It's awful!

It sounds just like that time you dared Dick to

put that sabre-toothed ferret down his trousers.

SNARLING

All right, then.

-MUNCH

-AHHHHHH!

HAAAAA!

It's coming from that island, over there.

In that case,

-weigh the anchor and bare hand with the back wind!

-What?!

Row! Row! Row! Come on, get rowing.

Come on!

-Isn't this brilliant?

-What is going on?

I think they think I'm some kind of God.

-They keep calling me The Daft One. Look!

-Oh, Dickie-Dickie!

Oh, Dickie-Dickie! Oh, Dickie-Dickie!

Oh, Dickie-Dickie!

Oh, Dickie-Dickie! Oh, Dickie-Dickie!

It's finally happened.

We've arrived

in hell.

Here we are, at last.

The Grove of the Forget Me Nuts.

About time. Maybe now we can get rid of this thing.

Ow!

This is the Grove of Forget Me Nuts!

Of course, the Grove of Forget Me Nuts.

-The gas from which can cause temporary forgetfulness.

-Temporary.

That's cos our memories are starting to come back.

Yours might be, but mine aren't.

Hang on,

that girl, Lutin, we were trying to remember.

We remember her being here.

Where?

-Here!

-It's a girl.

I'm a girl!

Of course!

SHE SCREAMS

Lutin, ey? I wonder who that is.

# Unforgettable

# In every way

# And for ever more

# That's how you'll stay

SHE SCREAMS

# That's why, darling

# It's incredible

# That someone so unforgettable

# Thinks that I am

# Unforgettable, too. #

-Are you with me?

-I'm with you!

-Then I'm with you, too.

I'm with you, pending a more lengthy explanation.

Good.

Brilliant! I remember who I am. Lutin!

Light-fingered larcenist, devious deceptionist and good-looking girl.

Two out of three, not bad.

It's a shame nobody seems to know who I am.

We all know what the problem is, don't we?

You're wearing a false moustache.

Will you stop doing that?

-It really smarts.

-Hang on,

this is starting to remind me of something.

Yeah... This definitely rings a bell.

Ah, greetings, travellers.

And welcome. I am the Guardian of the Sacred Grove of Forget Me Nuts.

-What a big moustache!

-What are you doing? Ow!

That really smarts!

Stop that, will you?

At least we know who you are now, Your Guardianship.

-You idiot!

-It was a mistake anyone could have made.

No, I seem to remember it was just you.

Hmm!

No, no, no! You're missing the bucket!

Oh, OK.

No, no! Put the soil in the bucket.

Oh, so don't do it like this?

No! No!

So, definitely don't do it like this?

I said no, don't! Right, that's it!

Worms! Worms in your face!

Woodlouse! Woodlouse!

Come here!

I was sure the vial was in this one.

He must have moved it, keep looking.

OK.

-You've taken your time.

-What do you mean?

Whilst you've been riding around on a pig in a village,

-we've been stuck here!

-I got here when I could.

Those trifles don't throw themselves.

-Will you let us out?

-Give me the salute, I'll give the order.

-What?

-Give me the salute and I'll let you out. You know?

No, no, no.

I'm not saluting you.

I think perhaps we should.

No, no, no. I'm the eldest and I am not saluting my younger brother.

Tweason! Despwicable tweason!

Look, you've made them angry.

Give me the salute, Dom. Then I can smooth things over.

-Embrace your daft side.

-Embrace the Daftside!

-Never!

-I think perhaps you should reconsider, Prince Dom.

He's a god to these people and not to honour him is a grave insult.

Never! This is stupid.

And anyone that thinks that he is a god is even more stupid than he is!

Heresy! Treason!

You best give me the salute or I think we'll drown.

I'll never embrace my daft side.

Oh go on, just give it a little cuddle.

No! Never! Not ever! Not under any circumstances.

Actually, I rather enjoyed that.

Now you embrace the daft side.

-Yes, why not.

-Never!

Right, I've no choice, bring out the warm cream.

Wait, OK, you've won.

-We'll join.

-Fantastic.

Happy days.

-So, you're the Guardian of the Grove?

-Hmm.

Have you any idea why we might want to come here?

-No.

-What happens if we pull this rope?

Why have we brought this stupid lobster along?

Now, that rings a bell.

I think it's payment for something.

Of course, it's payment for passing through the Sacred Grove.

And why would we want to pass through the Grove?

A map. We were trying to get somewhere.

Yes, quickly, because we were being chased by...someone.

-You?

-You?

-You?

-Who? Oh him.

-And you are?

-Some call me Lord of Nature.

Others call me Master of Creation, some call me Cuddly Pops

but I prefer to be known as the Beastmaster.

You must have a real name.

I mean you must have been christened something. What is it?

Keith?

Sylvester?

Ron. It's Ron, isn't it?

Dom? John?

Johnny, Tommy, Bobby, Dobbie, Nobby?

-Ah, Noddy.

-Silence! I have no other name, just the Beastmaster.

I am lord of all that is beastly, all that is furry, fetid,

squelchy and horrid.

Technically, then, he should be in charge of your sleeping bag.

So, you can talk to animals, then, can you?

I don't know about that. What do you think, snaky? What?

Not right now, it's not a good time.

What? You should have gone before we came out.

Have a minty treat to take your mind off it.

Minty treat, minty treaty! Forget it.

If you continue to hold us here against our will,

there will be big trouble.

I demand you release us immediately.

GROANS

LAUGHS

Don't laugh, I'm angry.

So! Princes Dick and Dom. We meet again.

-No, I'm a God now.

-Silence!

Nobody outwits the Beastmaster.

All right, I mean to destroy that potion, that cure of yours.

You cannot stop me,

for I have taken on the powers of a most fearsome foe -

the mighty BADGER!

Ahem... That's actually not very scary.

You have failed me.

Have you anything to say?

Then you leave me no choice.

I'm bringing in a special operative, the Jackal.

QUACK!

Jackal, find those princes and lead me to them.

Hunt them like dogs.

Sorry, Martin.

WHIMPERS

As for you two,

you're toast!

WICKED LAUGH

CHOKES

Sorry.

Now, look here, you, I've had just about enough of this.

You're going to tell us where you put the vial and you're

-going to tell us now!

-Or what?

Or...

Or going to keep pointing at you like this.

-And like this.

-And if this helps.

Bum cakes.

There is another way we can do it.

ALL: No.

The spell is guaranteed to work. It'll take us right into his brain.

We're not doing any more of your stupid spells.

You're not, but what's to stop me, hey?

Stand close.

Oh, you pathetic fools, there's

no way you'll ever discover what goes on inside the mind of an evil genius.

Ahem... Shwarma, rumbalo, telethon!

THEY GABBLE

Uh?

VARIOUS POPULAR SONGS PLAY

# Sunshine, sunshine reggae... #

Shwarma, rumbalo, telethon!

Ha ha ha ha!

HE RANTS AND RAVES

I don't remember this one at all.

That's because it's happening now, you twonk!

HE GARBLES

-ALL:

-What?

I said, behold the awesome might of the Beastmaster.

Prepare to die.

-ALL:

-Oh!

What are we going to do?

He's taken all the powers of a squirrel. Squirrels love nuts.

I say we use the Forget Me Nuts.

You can't do that, take your hand off those nuts.

Er... Uh... Ah!

Er... Ah... Ah!

Oh! Nutty, nutty, nutty!

Why, you little hooligans. You've gone and broken one of my nuts.

We, we're saving lives.

What could be more important than that?

Give me a moment, I'm thinking.

Uh... Where am I? Where am I?

What's going on?

Your name is Marjorie Pinkwhistle. You're a travelling

shoe saleswoman specialising in open-toed sandals.

You're 15 minutes late for a very important sales meeting

-with a tribe of ten-legged peasants.

-Oh! Thank you very much.

Ten-legged peasants, think of all those sandals.

Marjorie smells a sale. Must dash. Toodle-oo!

No problem.

No problem?

I remember now.

This is what I have to put up with all of the flipping time.

People trampling all over my Sacred Grove just because it's a short cut

-back to Fyredor.

-Fyredor?

-Fyredor!

-Of course! I remember everything.

You stupid idiots.

Oh, dear.

MAN: Oh, here they come.

You bungling nincompoops.

Oh, my arm, Dennis, it's come off.

Look what you've done to us.

It seems the plague might have got a little bit worse.

COUGHING

Oh, Dennis, your head's come orf.

OK, maybe a lot worse. Let's go.

Sorry.

-Hi, Dad.

-All right, Dad?

-Don't call me Dad.

I've told you before, it's "King".

-What about King Dad?

-Big Daddy King? Daddy Cuddle King.

Do-wah Daddy Waddy.

-Call me "King"!

-Sorry, Dad.

-He means "King".

-Yeah.

So, you've come back.

Shut up!

You took 15 months, you wasted all our gold,

and instead of bringing us a cure,

you brought us a balm for scabby feet.

Now, listen to me, this plague has taken a terrible turn for the worse.

It's started turning us all into beasts.

Yes, yes, yes.

Look what it's done to your mother.

WHIMPERS

Mummy?

-Is that really you?

-Yes, same floppy face.

We don't know why, but this plague is turning us all into animals.

I mean, your Uncle Mick grew a tail and is turning into a donkey.

Your Aunt Maureen's got hair all over her face.

What, what is she turning into?

Actually, our Maureen's always had hair all over her face. Bad example.

This is serious.

Nobody knows how long we've got left. It's up to you.

You are our last, last, last,

last, last, last, L-A-S-T, last hope! Woof!

HE HOWLS

So, get out there and make a proper antidote before it's too late.

Yes, Dad - King! Daddy Waddy!

Princes, you've been away for months.

Aren't you going to kiss your mother goodbye?

Our quest is to return to Fyredor.

And thanks to you, kind sir, you've remembered where we're heading.

Well, I've remembered something too.

I've remembered what happened when you first turned up here.

And so we seek safe passage through the Sacred Grove.

Here's your payment. I'll be glad to see the back of it.

The only way I've kept it off my nose is by putting on this tache.

Ah, the sacred lobster.

I wonder what happens if you pull this rope.

So, will you give us permission to pass through?

Pass through with my blessing.

One of the nuts is bigger than the others.

The Master Nut, the most sacred of all Forget Me Nuts.

Oh, no, you mustn't do that!

The Master Nut.

You broke the Master Nut.

Does the permission thing still stand here?

Hmmm!

Quick, let's get out of here before he recovers.

So, we know who we are, what we're doing and

where we're going, but there's one thing I don't understand.

-What happens if you pull this rope?

-No!

What happens? What happens is you set off the Sacred Nut Bush's

automated liquid organic fertiliser spraying system.

Oh, bum cakes.

Come back here, you little hooligans! Come back!

'So our team set off back towards Fyredor with great speed.

'If only to avoid being slapped with a lobster.

'Yes, for them it had been truly a day to remember

'and for the Guardian of the Grove,

'a day he'd much rather try to forget.

'And so another chapter in the saga of...

'Hello, what's this funny-looking gas doing in here?

'Smells like hazelnuts.

YAWNING: 'I rather like it.

'I... THUMP

CLATTERING

Where am I? Who am I? What's my name?

'Hello, what am I doing in here?

'Can somebody let me out, please?

'Hello, I've just been handed this piece of paper.

'Apparently my name is Marjorie Pinkwhistle,

'travelling shoe saleslady extraordinaire.

'Can I interest you in a new pair of sandals?

'We have some very exciting models in this season.

'This pair's made from the finest pigskin.

'Very good, make your feet smell like bacon.'

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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