Part 1 The Sarah Jane Adventures


Part 1

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'My name's Maria Jackson, and this is Bannerman Road.

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'I've just moved in with my dad after he and my mum got divorced.'

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Oh, right, on the brush.

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You've got some on your face. There, just there.

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Then, in this big old house over the road,

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I met Sarah Jane Smith.

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She's a journalist...

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who investigates aliens.

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That's Luke. Born yesterday, near enough.

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Sarah Jane's adopted him, and together, we saved the world.

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I discovered that life was so much bigger and stranger and better

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than I ever thought possible.

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Oi! Thank you. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

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But when school began, I thought things might go back to normal.

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I was wrong.

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They just got weirder...

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..and weirder...

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..and weirder.

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Wahhhh!

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Now, you take care. OK?

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-Goodbye, Mum.

-Oh, I don't think so.

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No, Sarah Jane's just fine.

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Oh, hi Maria.

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CHILDREN LAUGH

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Why were they laughing?

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-First day, and your mum's kissing you goodbye?

-Is that bad?

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Bit embarrassing. Plus, she so wants you to call her Mum.

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-She said she didn't.

-It's not what she said.

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-That's a bit flashy.

-It's a brand new building.

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-There was an article about it in the paper.

-Wonder what's inside it?

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Not them. Scan along.

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Where is he?

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There! Him.

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He's not that big. How will I fit?

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He'll do. Get yourself ready.

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I'll go fetch.

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-What can I do for you?

-Stand right there, Tim.

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Any particular reason?

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Very particular. HE BREAKS WIND Oops!

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Happens to us all.

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-And I'll need those.

-Sorry?

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Waaaaahhhhh!

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-I'm feeling anxious.

-So am I.

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But you've been to school before.

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-Not this one.

-Budge up.

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-You new today?

-Yeah. Maria.

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Clyde. New too. Probably hang around with you

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-till I meet some cooler people.

-How do you do? I'm Luke Smith.

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OK, that was a joke. Now I mean it.

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-Good morning everybody.

-ALL: Good morning, Mr Blakeman.

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HE BREAKS WIND, EVERYONE LAUGHS

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What's funny? The wife gave me cabbage and bean tartlets last night.

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Yet another reason to despise Jamie Oliver.

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Right, assembly, yada-ya.

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Welcome back everybody, it's a new year, hope you all do well.

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Don't run in the courtyard, don't even think of wearing make-up, and study hard,

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because I guarantee none of you are gonna be pop stars.

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What's his problem?

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So.... What else? HE BREAKS WIND

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Oh, yeah.

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What a bright future you've all got, children of the world!

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Etcetera. Right...

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as you've seen, we have a new technology block.

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I'll be taking you over in groups to look at our amazing new facilities,

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starting with...Form 10B.

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There are 16 classrooms with broadband connections,

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but anything dubious your adolescent minds may be drawn to,

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I've locked out.

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I've signed us up for this. First meeting's tomorrow.

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Lunchtime science club? And now I'm backing away.

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HE BREAKS WIND Shut up!

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Why is farting funny?

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-It just is.

-But it's a normal process of the human bowel.

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Are you for real?

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-Smells weird in here.

-Farts?

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Dunno...metal, electric.

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Like batteries.

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-Can I sit here?

-Only if I'm not gonna shame you.

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Well, I either sit here with you or sit there with that.

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-What, there's someone worse than me?

-Just.

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-So where are you from?

-Hounslow. My parents split up,

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-so I moved here with Mum.

-Like me. Only I moved with my dad.

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-Yeah, how's that?

-Better than them rowing all the time.

-Yeah.

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Ow!

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What's wrong with that? It's mouldy!

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What kind of slop are they serving here?

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Is it leftovers from last term or something?

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-Sir? Sir?

-What?

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How am I meant to eat that?

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Just pick the bad bits off.

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Great. That leaves me with a pea.

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-Mine's off too! That is disgusting!

-What's wrong with this place?

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It stinks, the food's rotten. Something weird's going on here.

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Goodbye, repellent pubescents.

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-Until tomorrow.

-This skin... it's killing me round the legs.

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Right. Time for a test run.

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Now? What about the caretaker?

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I've taken care of the caretaker.

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Everything's ready. Come on!

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Oh, I see, you've cadged a lift, have you?

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-I offered.

-I dunno, Lady Muck, getting the neighbours

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-to chauffeur her around.

-Shut up, Dad.

-How was the first day, then?

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OK. A bit weird, though. The headmaster keeps farting.

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-Really? What, noisy smelly ones or silent but deadlies?

-Eugh!

-What?

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Place stinks like batteries. And the food was off.

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I'll make you a proper tea.

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-You go and get changed.

-Bye. See you, Maria.

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I want a proper tea too!

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Make it yourself! I'm not your cook.

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-Whatever.

-No, forget it, it's all right. We'll phone out for a curry.

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Can't have you straining yourself after your long voyage home, can we?

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-You think you're so funny!

-Yeah.

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How do you get like that, you and Maria?

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Always been like that, don't really think about it.

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Anyway, the school can't be that bad, they've just built this.

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Someone donated the money and this technology block was put up.

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-Looks incredible.

-Hold on. I did an IT job in a school, in a new block

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-that looks like that.

-Was it built by Coldfire Construction?

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-Yeah.

-Where?

-On the other side of town. St Sheldon's, in Upminster.

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That place smelt odd. Sort of metallic.

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Anyway, better go.

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Stop her ordering the entire menu. Bye!

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Systems online.

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-That's it. Now, synchronise the mega-wattage.

-Synchronizing mega...

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watty...er...

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That one!

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-Kept making social mistakes today.

-I think I made one too.

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Driving to school when it's round the corner, kissing you goodbye.

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Oh, we're both new hands at this.

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I don't know anyone except Maria and Clyde.

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Maria's in different classes to me most of the time.

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-And Clyde thinks I'm uncool.

-Clyde's not the only kid in the school.

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-What if I make more mistakes?

-Never make the same ones again.

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Listen, anyone is nervous starting a new school, a new job.

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-I've never been a mum before.

-Do I have to go?

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I could take you out, teach you here. I considered it.

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But you, Luke Smith, you're going to live a normal life,

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as normal a life as I can give you.

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What if I get it wrong again? It makes me feel...stupid.

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Remember, you saved the world the day you were born.

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Not many people can say that.

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No-one else can say that. That's the problem. Nobody else is like me.

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-What are you doing?

-Checking up on the firm who built your new block.

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Coldfire Construction.

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They started expanding 18 months ago, contracts all round the world.

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Some odd things cropping up.

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Now they're putting up school buildings all round London.

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Makes a change for me.

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Not aliens, is it?

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Stabilising...

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There!

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Aaah!

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Only me, come for a gawp.

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Alan, this is really kind of all right!

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-Thanks, Chrissie, I really value your opinion.

-Don't be sarky.

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-Is Maria upstairs?

-I think it went OK for her today.

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-What went OK for her today?

-Her first day at the new school.

-Today?

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My mind's just been all over the place,

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stress like you would not believe.

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-So why did you come round?

-To see my daughter. Do I need another reason?

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Oh, while I think about it,

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you were gonna give me that 13.5 tog double duvet?

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Only you don't need it, you've got the single.

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Maria, love, it's your mum!

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Lights out, London!

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School can't be that bad.

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I mean, like I said, it's a much better catchment area.

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Ooh, got to go, love. Ivan's taking me to the pub, it's opera night.

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The waiters sing while you're eating.

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Oh, great(!)

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There's a torch.

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With a flat battery. I'm not saying anything

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I'll get the candles.

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-Power cut?

-Yes, Mr Smith's not responding.

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The computer just went pffft, and guess who forgot to save her work?

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I'll just see how long it'll be, I can check the local power grid.

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That's impossible. It never loses power. Can't lose power.

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-There we go.

-Goes as far as I can see.

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Happened all the time when I was a kid.

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It once went off right in the middle of Manimal, I was distraught.

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Weird. Why's that happening?

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-Give them to me!

-I can do it.

-No, I'll do it.

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-What was that?

-It's destabilising hell!

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-Turn it off, turn it off!

-Turn it off!

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What?

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-Weird.

-Must be faulty.

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Or the same thing that cut the electric off cut this off.

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Fantastic(!) Every station in the loop is working,

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but the stabiliser cuts out!

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-I'll fix it.

-You bought those plans off that Wallarian,

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-you took his word it worked!

-I'll sort out the storage problem,

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-then it'll stabilise, OK?

-Until then I'm stuck here, in this.

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Teaching science on the planet Thick

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where they still haven't worked out string theory! Ooh, it chafes!

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Oh, shut up! Don't you get it?

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We're nearly there! One more step...

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and we destroy this planet!

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Science is my first class today.

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Lab 2A, with Mr Jeffrey.

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You'll be fine!

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See you, then.

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Oh, hi.

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-Oh, not interrupting?

-No, no, no.

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Just making a start. Had a bigger garden in the old house.

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-Do you miss it?

-Yeah, well, needs must and all that.

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Shame, I had a lot of plans for that old garden.

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Just didn't plan on my wife running off with a judo instructor.

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-You ever been married?

-No. Never found time.

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-Wise move. Anyway...sorry?

-Oh, I was just wondering,

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that school you mentioned in Upminster. St Sheldon's?

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I'm sure I've still got the plans here somewhere.

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Yeah, there we go.

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Cost a fortune. They had broadband installed, the works.

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-Where did the money come from?

-I dunno, private funding.

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-What sort of journalist are you?

-Oh, local stories, nothing exciting.

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-Maria was saying you'd travelled a fair bit?

-Could say that, yeah.

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What's that bit? It's blank.

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Never went in. Coldfire kept that to themselves, it was sealed off.

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-There's no door.

-You reckon they're hiding something, do you?

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Ooh, something mysterious inside a school.

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-That would be ridiculous!

-A bit.

-Do you mind if I keep this?

-No.

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A transformer is an electrical device

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that changes the voltage of the AC supply.

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Such as your...

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our mains electrical supply.

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Anybody know who invented the first transformer? ..You.

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-Faraday.

-Correct.

-Though he didn't know what to use it for.

-What?

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I've thought about it too. You could get rid of the transformers,

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get a better system and induct power instead.

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-Just pointing out, I'm nothing to do with him.

-Quiet!

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-Name.

-Clyde Langer.

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Troublemaker. Noted.

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OK.

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You're cool because you make trouble. Should I make trouble?

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I hear talking!

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-What are you doing?

-My pen's run out, I'm getting a new one.

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Let me see that.

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-Oh! What is it?

-Cold chip sandwich.

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Made it this morning. Not chancing my life in that canteen again.

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Oi, you can't do that!

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You can wait until lunchtime and use the canteen like everybody else.

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-I'll report you for that!

-Go on, try it.

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HE BREAKS WIND

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PUPILS LAUGH, BELL RINGS

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-Right. For tomorrow, 1,000 words on transformers!

-Oh!

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2,000!

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Hopeless, Miss Smith! Even worse this term.

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I believe you had the wiring in your new block re-installed.

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Didn't do any good. The computers keep crashing. And look.

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Look at this.

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Fresh this morning. Everything goes off.

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And there's that smell. Like batteries.

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And it started when you got your new technology block?

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Hasn't anyone tried to work out what's wrong?

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-a parent governor raised it at our meeting.

-And?

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Fell off his bike the next morning, three months in traction.

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Can't you feel it, Miss Smith?

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Like...a thunderstorm's coming.

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Hello, Miss Smith. SHE LAUGHS

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Incredible knowledge!

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-This child, Luke Smith, is a freak.

-You really think he can help us?

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Yes! We'll use him to solve the storage problem.

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-A 14-year-old human?

-Something's strange about him. These kids stink.

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Acne and grease and coats and crisps. But he smells...fresh.

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-When can you get to him?

-Very soon.

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We have a rendezvous.

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Welcome to lunchtime science club.

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I had hoped for a slightly higher turnout, but never mind.

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There's only me.

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And me. Carl.

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Luke. Pleased to meet you.

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-Hi.

-Carl's the science star of the school, supposedly.

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Though I imagine he's probably pretty rubbish compared to you.

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Take a look at this. Now, over the summer I've been having tons of fun

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working on a new project.

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What do you make of this?

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-Um...

-It's a model for a giant capacitor system.

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Purely theoretical.

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Nobody could possibly build this for real.

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-You designed this?

-Yes, I'm wasted here.

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-Do you like it?

-It's amazing. Let me see.

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Now, I have a problem.

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My purely theoretical problem is...

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-anyone?

-Don't tell me.

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Oh, yeah. With this, you could store huge amounts of electrical energy.

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But there's a loophole.

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Here in the storage, it wouldn't stabilise.

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That's my problem, well done. Gold star.

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-No star.

-You went wrong here.

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You need to add an equation into the computer control.

0:17:420:17:46

Yeah?

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I'll take your word for it.

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-The power stabilises, your problems are over.

-Yes. All my problems are...

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I don't know about yours, though.

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And that school has exactly the same problem as yours.

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So I'm off to Coldfire Construction.

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-Do you want me to do anything?

-Yeah,

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have a look round, see if you can find where that smell's coming from.

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OK, see you later. Good luck!

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-Who was that, then?

-Nobody.

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Result!

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Yes! That's it!

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And he just handed it over!

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Hilarious! Humans...

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even the clever ones are stupid!

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At last! We will be avenged!

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We'll finish this planet tonight!

0:18:420:18:44

Someone looks happy! I had double maths this afternoon.

0:18:490:18:53

Science club was brilliant. Mr Jeffrey's really nice.

0:18:530:18:56

-I think we'll be friends.

-You don't make friends with a teacher.

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-Why not?

-You just don't. Anyway, Sarah Jane phoned,

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she wants us to look inside the new block.

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-What are you doing?

-Investigating the new block.

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-I left something in the new block.

-What is it with you and her?

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I've seen weird people, I know weird people.

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-But you two, you're beyond weird.

-Go find some normal people then.

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Can I help you?

0:19:300:19:32

That's not right.

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I want answers. Where are you from?

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London. The layout of this building doesn't make any sense.

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But where've you been all your life? You don't know farting's funny,

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you let your mum kiss you in public. Where was your last school?

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-I've never been to school.

-Your mum taught you at home?

-No.

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-And she isn't my mum. There are 16 classrooms in this building.

-Hold on.

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-What's Sarah Jane to you?

-She adopted me.

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-Why don't you call her Mum?

-She doesn't want me to.

0:19:560:20:00

-What about your real mum and dad?

-I haven't got a mum or dad.

0:20:030:20:07

Everybody's got a mum and dad. I have a dad...somewhere.

0:20:070:20:10

This block measures about 1,539 metres squared,

0:20:100:20:14

so double that for both floors...

0:20:140:20:16

The area of each room doesn't add up to that.

0:20:160:20:18

So there's an empty space... through there!

0:20:180:20:22

I think you should go home.

0:20:220:20:25

-So what are you saying about our company then?

-Miss...?

0:20:260:20:30

Oh, you can call me Janine.

0:20:300:20:32

Janine.

0:20:320:20:34

I've been reading up. It's not just these school projects in London.

0:20:340:20:38

You've moved from country to country, hiring cheap local labour.

0:20:380:20:44

-Yes?

-At your building in Santiago, workers refuse to go in.

0:20:440:20:49

Food goes off. Endless technical problems.

0:20:490:20:51

Valencia, Paris, the same story. And another thing.

0:20:510:20:54

The plans for each building have a large empty area behind a wall.

0:20:540:20:59

Why is that?

0:20:590:21:00

There's another room, a secret room. Behind there!

0:21:000:21:03

-I'll tell you this...

-But how do you get inside?

-I'm not getting through.

0:21:030:21:07

Stop...being...strange.

0:21:070:21:09

Who's that?

0:21:240:21:27

Hello?

0:21:270:21:29

I know you're in here...

0:21:310:21:33

I can smell you.

0:21:330:21:36

HE SNIFFS

0:21:360:21:38

Ah, a little girl.

0:21:380:21:40

Fresh as a daisy.

0:21:400:21:43

Sugar and spice and all things nice.

0:21:430:21:47

She really shouldn't be hanging around school after home time.

0:21:470:21:52

Not when I've got no reason to hide in this stupid skin any longer.

0:21:530:22:00

SQUEAKING

0:22:000:22:02

because these projects are so far apart, nobody connects them.

0:22:020:22:07

I strongly advise you to leave right now.

0:22:070:22:10

If you know what's good for you.

0:22:100:22:12

-Is that a threat?

-Yes.

0:22:120:22:15

What?

0:22:150:22:16

After all...

0:22:160:22:18

why should I hide?

0:22:180:22:21

That was your last chance, Miss Smith. Be fair.

0:22:310:22:34

I did give you fair warning...

0:22:340:22:36

I am Slitheen!

0:23:000:23:02

Oh, I love it when they run!

0:23:050:23:09

Your Luke Smith's too clever by half.

0:23:190:23:21

-He's right outside!

-There's another one. I'm after her now.

0:23:210:23:26

Oh, it feels good, after so long.

0:23:260:23:30

Rejoice in your hunt, brother!

0:23:300:23:32

I know you're in here, I can smell you.

0:23:340:23:38

Mmm, what lovely perfume you're wearing, Miss Smith!

0:23:400:23:46

You're positively fragrant!

0:23:470:23:50

We're out of here, now, come on!

0:23:550:23:57

-What?

-Where's Luke?

-I know you're out there, girl...

0:23:570:24:01

-That's only Mr Jeffrey.

-And another one! A boy!

-You are sad.

0:24:010:24:05

-Hiding from a teacher. What can he do? Give you a detention?

-Come on!

0:24:050:24:09

Oh, no!

0:24:090:24:11

Run! It's no fun if you don't run!

0:24:110:24:15

The smell of human fear...

0:24:150:24:19

love it!

0:24:190:24:20

Kiddies!

0:24:220:24:25

Kiddywinks!

0:24:250:24:28

Run as fast as you can, I'm coming to find you.

0:24:280:24:33

Raarghh!!

0:24:330:24:35

It's a door. And every door must have a door handle.

0:24:450:24:48

About here?

0:24:500:24:51

Children, children, come to me.

0:24:560:25:01

-We've gotta get out of here!

-We can't. We need to fight them.

0:25:010:25:04

Quick, in here!

0:25:040:25:06

So, Luke, how d'you like our little science project?

0:25:260:25:31

So where's Jeffrey? I heard him.

0:25:330:25:36

-That's Jeffrey, that thing chasing us.

-Oh, I'll believe it, why not?

0:25:360:25:39

Thanks. Is there a way out through here?

0:25:390:25:42

-No. There's no way out.

-HE BREAKS WIND

0:25:420:25:45

Oh, no.

0:25:460:25:47

Ha-ha-ha!

0:25:520:25:55

I am a child of the Slitheen and this is my hunt!

0:25:550:26:00

-Get it open!

-It's locked, that thing's real, isn't it?

0:26:050:26:08

I was wrong, it is aliens.

0:26:080:26:09

-Aaarghh!!

-The outcasts of the Slitheen family are scavengers

0:26:100:26:14

who infiltrate low-tech planets

0:26:140:26:16

by hiding in the skins of the native species.

0:26:160:26:18

-Mr Smith, I need you.

-Is that a computer?

0:26:180:26:22

Turn out the sun.

0:26:220:26:24

-They've switched off the sun!

-We're going to stop them.

0:26:240:26:26

What, the four of us? With vinegar in plastic squeezies?

0:26:260:26:30

Daddy, you promised I could do it.

0:26:300:26:32

I think an adult better deal with them this time.

0:26:320:26:35

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:26:400:26:43

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0:26:430:26:46

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