Part 1 The Sarah Jane Adventures

Tony!

Sorry.

Get a move on, Tony!

I can't find it!

Who's there?

Tony?

LAUGHTER ECHOING

Tony?

Tony?

Tony?

Tony?

Stu? Finney? Is that you?

Woo-hoo!

'Hi Luke, how are you?

'How's everything back home? It seems like only yesterday I was saying

'goodbye, but time flies when you're having fun. I miss you all so much!'

There are worse things than aliens.

These children going missing, it's terrible.

-How is she? Does she like Washington?

-She says it's awesome.

-It sounds like Maria's going to fit in perfectly.

-Sounds like it.

Luke, I know it's hard when a really good friend,

someone you really care about, moves out of your life.

But you'll see Maria again.

Well, she's coming back for her mum's wedding, isn't she?

-I'm sure we'll all meet up then.

-It won't be the same.

Maybe not, but, you know, that's not always so bad.

One of the best things about life is it's always surprising us.

Morning people. This is Clyde Langer reporting live from Bannerman Road

where, at this precise moment there's a new family moving in at number 36.

Boy, they have no idea what they're moving in over the road from!

No, and they're never going to find out, do you hear?

Both of you. Promise me you'll never breathe a word about what we do,

-Mr Smith, any of it.

-Why would we? It's not like it's Maria, is it?

Come on, we're going to be late.

Yeah, sure.

Don't worry, we won't say anything.

We'd better hope Maria never left anything lying around when she went.

What do you mean?

Well, you know, we've been hanging with some pretty random

intergalactic sorts.

Who knows what might have rubbed off and still be over there?

I did not fancy Maria.

Boy, I taught you well, didn't I?

Clyde's Cool Rule Number Two,

deny all emotion, especially when involving girls.

I just miss her, OK?

-Don't you?

-Course I miss her.

But people move on, Luke. Ask my mum and dad.

I've never lost anyone before.

Well, it's not going to be the same without her, that's for sure.

I mean, who am I going to have to save from Sontarans, the Slitheen

and Gorgons now?

Hey! Watch where you're...

Don't...don't mention it.

-It's no problem.

-Sorry. I'm looking for Mr Cunningham's form.

-That's our class.

-I start today.

And you run into me. Now that's what I call a start!

Yeah. Like starting the 100m in the Olympics and

tripping over your laces.

-This is Clyde. He thinks he's cool. I'm Luke.

-Who isn't.

-Rani. My family just moved in to Bannerman Road.

-Bannerman Road?

Of course. Where else?

Sarah Jane's right, the universe never stops weirding you out.

-Sarah who?

-Never mind. Come on, I'll take you to class.

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

Did you just see that?

See what?

Never mind. Come on, I'd better not be late.

So the football team has been knocked out

of the Inter-Schools Challenge, by West Hill

after a 4-0 mauling last night.

-ALL: Boooooo!

-Yeah, all right, settle down, settle down.

So we'll be looking for better news

in the National Schools Science Challenge.

Anybody who wants to sign up for the team should see Miss Webster.

I'll be expecting to see your name on the list, Luke.

Lukey! ALL: Lukey! Lukey!

-You a bit of a brain-box then, Luke?

-They haven't got a box big enough.

LAUGHTER

That's enough!

Silence, the lot of you. This is a classroom,

not the home end at Stamford Bridge!

Class, this is Mr Chandra, our new Head.

This is a school,

my school.

And you come here to learn, not to play about.

You, boy! Sit up straight and pay attention!

And that goes for all of you!

I know it's been a while since your last head teacher,

Mr Blakeman, disappeared, and it looks like standards

around here vanished with him.

But, listen up,

Park Vale has a new captain on the bridge, now.

I'm getting a very serious sinking feeling.

I'm a fair captain but, believe me, I run a very tight ship.

Aye aye, Skipper.

NERVOUS LAUGHTER

Ah, the joker in the pack.

I do my best.

Well, Clyde Langer, I hope your classwork is as sharp as your wit.

It takes brains to be this funny.

No, Langer. It takes brains to know when to shut up and listen!

Now, a third child has gone missing.

I'm speaking to all classes today, reminding you all to be careful,

and just as importantly, telling you all that if you see

anything or anyone suspicious, to tell the police immediately.

-Yes? Hello?

-Hello. I live over the road. I saw you were moving in.

Thought maybe you hadn't had time to find the kettle yet.

Oh, tell me, do you save the world every day, or is it just on Mondays?

Come on in, come in. Sorry it's such a state.

I had a plan...a list, you know, what was what and where it was going.

But then you have to go and use removal men, don't you?

And frankly my darling, you might as well give in to chaos.

-Ooh, I'm Gita by the way.

-Sarah Jane.

-Well, I'm very pleased to meet you, Sarah.

-Jane.

Lovely. Shall I see if I can find some cups?

Perfect.

So, that's your house, is it?

The big one right opposite? WATCH WHIRRS

-Yes.

-Do you have kids, Sarah?

-Sarah Jane.

-All clear.

-Sorry?

Oh, just my son, Luke. There's just the two of us.

Aaah. We've got a girl.

Rani. She's very clever.

So what were the last people like that lived in our house?

Mr Jackson and his daughter?

-Nice. I miss Maria.

-Oh, yeah?

I mean, we were friends.

-Maria, Clyde and me.

-We can be friends.

Yeah. But it wouldn't be the same.

Oh. Sorry I suggested it.

No, I didn't mean it like that.

I can't explain.

Inter-personal relationships is something I haven't mastered yet.

You know, I hope you don't mind me telling you,

but you do know you're a bit weird, don't you?

I mean, I think you're all right. Just a bit strange.

I'm not strange, I'm just different.

-There's a difference.

-Yeah. I suppose.

These kids going missing, though, that is weird.

Three in two weeks. And the police just don't have a clue.

Don't worry, statistically the chances of you being abducted

-are extremely remote.

-I'm not worried. I'm interested, that's all.

It's weird. I'm into weird.

-Have you ever seen anything strange? I mean around the school?

-Like what?

CHILDREN LAUGH Langer! My office, now!

So what do you do for a living, Sarah?

I'm a freelance journalist.

A journalist?

My Rani wants to be a journalist. What a coincidence.

Perhaps she should come round? You could give her some tips.

Well, my work tends to be rather specialised. And I'm very busy.

-In fact, I really should be getting on now.

-She'll be so excited.

And she and your Luke are bound to be friends. Oh, you'll love her.

She's very curious, wants to know everything about everybody.

Does she? Oh, good.

He still got you here?

But it was an accident.

Yeah, well we didn't exactly hit it off from the start.

I think Mr Chandra's jealous of my popularity.

Your trouble is you don't know when to lay off.

Yeah? Being funny is a curse.

It's like me and the Wolfman...

Life's just one big shaggy dog story.

I need some stuff for art club.

EERIE LAUGHTER

Dave?

Finney, are you in there?

DEEP LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER

Finney, are you messing me around?

Hey!

LAUGHTER

DOOR CLOSES

LAUGHTER

What are you?

All I want to do...

is give you...

a balloon.

Langer! I've been looking for you. Why aren't you outside my office?

A clown?

That's what I saw.

Look, if I'm making this up, tell me, where is Finney...I mean Dave?

He's been kidnapped by a clown from the stationery cupboard.

Langer, I don't know what sort of game you're playing,

but this is not the way to make an impression on me.

Yeah, I should've kept my mouth shut.

Children are disappearing

and you think that's something to joke about?

But you said, you told us, if we see anything suspicious to sing out.

Well, I am.

Look, I tell jokes, not lies sir.

David Finn has probably just bunked off school early.

He wouldn't. Ask anyone.

So how come no-one else has seen this clown?

Not even our CCTV cameras?

Oh, what's the use? I knew I was wasting my time even talking to you.

You're never going to believe me.

It's a good thing there's someone else who will.

-So you think we should tell Mum?

-What do you think?

Mr Chandra's called the police, but they're not exactly going to

be looking for a clown that comes at you out of a mirror, are they?

-You didn't tell him that part, did you?

-What am I?

Mr Thicko from Thicksville? Course I didn't.

But we know aliens have nabbed kids before. Do you remember Kudlak?

Yes. Aliens.

That was a clown.

Why would an alien be dressed as a clown?

So you don't believe me, either. Thanks a lot, mate.

I do believe you. I just don't understand.

Well, there's a first.

There it is!

Where?

Oh, come on!

He's there...

Come on!

Where is he?

Search me.

But he was here.

Look.

-Don't touch it!

-Why?

I don't know why, just don't.

CLOWN LAUGHS

But you didn't tell anyone?

What am I supposed to say?

"Look Mum and Dad, I don't want to worry you, but I'm seeing clowns

-"that no-one else can see"?

-Why not?

-Do you want them to get me locked up?

-Why would they do that?

What planet is he from?

Oh, Earth. Mostly.

Yeah. You're so funny, Clyde. No wonder...the head teacher loves you.

Look, Rani, whatever this clown thing is,

I think we should leave it to the police, don't you?

They don't even believe it exists.

-You know that.

-He's right. It's nothing to do with us.

There's something happening here that doesn't make everyday sense.

Maybe you can ignore it because it doesn't go with your MP3 player or

your designer trainers, but I can't. I've got to know what's going on.

Sarah Jane's going to love this one.

Look, there's something I've got to tell you.

-Something about me you ought to know.

-You're from another planet.

-I already guessed.

-Actually, Clyde, it's worse than that...

Oh, no.

Rani, please tell me there's a good reason why our new head

just pulled up outside your house that doesn't involve the word "dad".

He's all right, really. It's just his job.

Yeah, that's what they said about Dr Frankenstein.

-MR CHANDRA: Rani.

-Hi, Dad.

Haresh! Don't worry, there's still plenty of boxes for you to open.

Rani, how was your first day at school?

Did your dad go all Captain Bligh again?

I do not go Captain Bligh.

Yeah, just a bit. This is Luke and Clyde.

Luke Smith. Pleased to meet you.

Luke Smith?

He's my son. I'm Sarah Jane Smith.

I've been looking at his results for the past year.

Very, very impressive. Remarkable, in fact.

Yes, well, he's very gifted.

Sarah's a journalist.

For real? I'm really interested in becoming a reporter.

-Maybe I can come over some time?

-Oh, well, I really am rather busy.

Clyde Langer, the joker in the pack, apparently.

Oh, and I see clowns that don't exist.

Of course your head teacher was never going to believe you.

Nor would the police. Children don't vanish out of closed rooms.

It's impossible as far as they are concerned.

But what about the clown?

If it's an alien taking these kids,

a clown disguise isn't exactly low-profile, is it?

But it might know that kids are supposed to like clowns.

Personally, they always gave me nightmares.

Coulrophobia. It's the fear of clowns. Johnny Depp has it.

-What encyclopaedia did you find that in?

-Heat.

Now we need to talk to someone close to the boy that went missing today.

His parents will be too busy with the police by now.

What about any of his other friends?

-It's Monday. So they'll be at football training.

-What about Rani?

-She's seen the clown too.

-I don't want her involved.

But she seemed determined to find out what's going on.

And she might be in danger.

You're right. Someone should keep an eye on her.

Yeah, yeah, I'll do that.

I don't think her dad would let you go anywhere near her.

HE PATS HIM ON THE BACK

So, it looks as if the boy disappeared like the others.

His poor parents, must be going out of their minds.

Makes me ill, just thinking about it.

You watch yourself, won't you, Rani?

She'll be fine, as long as she stays away from that Langer boy.

David Finn is one of Clyde's best friends, Dad.

He wasn't making it up.

Clyde saw a clown.

-Why would he lie?

-I don't know.

But a clown, it's ridiculous.

I was thinking the police should take a look at Finn's school books.

There's still a chance that something was worrying him

and he ran away. If so, there may be a clue there.

Before that, you can help me move the bed.

Those removal men didn't listen to a word I said.

-And they got out alive?

-Come on, I'll show you.

No.

You're not there.

HE LAUGHS

Rani, you've got a visitor.

Thought you might need a hand unpacking.

My dad says journalists are scum.

They're like crows picking at road-kill.

Well, I guess he only buys a newspaper

to look at the pictures then.

Oh, come on, Steve. Sarah Jane's trying to help find Finney.

-I don't know anything.

-Had he been acting strangely recently?

No, not that I saw.

What about clowns? Did he ever say anything about clowns?

No!

Hang on.

'There was this clown...

'handing out tickets by the station.'

CLOWN LAUGHS

Take a hike, Krusty!

So Tony Warner, the boy that went missing in the park,

he took a ticket as well?

Yeah. But they were just tickets from a clown.

-It doesn't mean anything, does it?

-What were the tickets for?

Just a minute. I'd forgotten all about this.

My mum picked it up for me at the shops.

Spellman's Magical Museum of the Circus.

Like...like I'd want to go.

It was in the kitchen, Luke.

It's getting closer to me.

Don't worry, it's gone now.

There's more. Look at this.

Dad's taking Finney's books to the police.

They're looking for clues, but I don't think they'll be

looking for size 20 footprints.

If they do take this seriously,

there might not be anything they can do.

You see! This isn't natural. None of it. It's... it's supernatural!

-I doubt it's supernatural.

-You've got such a closed mind!

The supernatural is only science we don't know yet, like...

-life on other planets.

-That's different.

I've got to do something.

Look at those pictures. Finney was seeing the clown the same as I am.

Spellman's Magical Museum of the Circus?

People were handing these out by the Tube.

-I think you should talk to my mum.

-I can't talk to anyone, Luke.

Don't you get it? You haven't seen the clown.

I think only kids that get one of these can see it.

-Then they disappear!

-Clyde saw it.

-Then he must have a ticket.

Believe me, Mum understands things like this.

Luke, whatever's going on here, no-one understands things like this.

But this ticket, it's got to be a clue. You coming?

Welcome to the Circus of Horrors.

You know, Clyde, occasionally your sense of humour really leaves

-something to be desired.

-Who said I was joking?

-Are you all right?

-Clowns make my skin crawl.

Come on.

DEEP LAUGHTER

Like, museums don't normally creep me out.

All those stuffed animals,

old bones and mummies.

But this place doesn't just take the biscuit,

this place gets the whole Christmas tin.

Welcome, welcome...

to Spellman's Magical Museum of the Circus

and the story of the most wondrous family entertainment in the world.

From the tumblers and jugglers of Ancient Rome

to the father of the modern circus, believe it or not,

a Sergeant Major in the 15th Light Dragoons.

Mr Spellman, I presume.

Elijah Spellman at your service.

My name is Sarah Jane Smith. I'm a journalist.

This is my friend, Clyde.

We're here to talk to you about clowns.

Ah, the princes of the sawdust ring!

This way, please.

Mankind has always needed someone to make them laugh,

slave or king.

Can you do me a favour and drop a note to my head teacher?

The Pharaohs had fools,

so did the Native Americans.

We had harlequins,

and, in the Middle Ages, the jester.

It's not so much the clown's showbiz history that I'm interested in,

as their reputation for scaring people.

The fear...

of the painted smile.

It's not as simple as that, Mr Spellman. They used to paint clowns

on the walls of children's wards, but when they were asked, every

child said the pictures scared them. Children sense things.

I know.

-Come on!

-I really don't think we should be doing this.

OK. WE won't. I'll go in on my own.

Sarah Jane, look at this. These are the same colours as the clown I saw.

Red, yellow and blue.

This isn't a clown. This is the Pied Piper.

The story goes he rid Hamelin of its plague of rats,

then when the town refused to pay him

he came back and took all their children.

The oldest, and most accurate picture of the Pied Piper.

The colours of his costume signify he was a travelling entertainer.

But, I'm afraid,

even clowns have their dark days.

And that's exactly the sort of clown I'm interested in, Mr Spellman.

-One that makes children disappear.

-But the Pied Piper was a fairy tale.

Myths, legends, fairy tales... Every story has its inspiration, Clyde.

LAUGHTER

-Mr Spellman?

-Where did he go?

I don't know, but something tells me we should get out of here, too.

Quickly, come on!

-Luke?

-Mum?

-What are you doing here?

-What are WE doing here?!

-What are YOU doing here?

-You told me to stay with her.

Am I missing something?

-Yeah, and keep her out of the action.

-What action?

SHE SCREAMS What's happening?

They're moving!

Something's animating the clowns.

Look out, all of you.

They're alive!

Run!

-What happened to Spellman?

-He's controlling them.

I think they're like puppets,

-probably under telekinetic control.

-Walking puppets?

Telekinetic control?

He's controlling them with his mind.

I know what it means, Luke.

-Who's Spellman?

-Probably...an alien.

Stand back.

-What was that?

-Sonic lipstick. Never leave home without it.

I've seized up their joints.

Should hold them up while we get out of here.

Aliens. Luke said aliens.

Actually, he said alien.

And it will still be around here somewhere. Come on.

There's no time for explanations.

She's right. And from what I've seen,

one alien can be as much trouble as a whole invasion.

Come on.

ZAP!

He's sealed the doors.

Telekinesis. The same way he animated the clown mannequins.

Whatever we're dealing with here, it is extremely powerful.

-What did I tell you?

-And it's got us trapped!

No, Rani. It just thinks it has.

Oh, no, Miss Smith.

I'm convinced of it.

-Are you really an alien?

-Stay back, Rani. Leave this to me.

Who are you? And what do you want?

Who am I?

I am the Pied Piper,

who conjured away a whole town's infants,

and has chilled the hearts of parents for more than seven centuries.

And now I am Odd Bob the Clown, who snatches children

in the heartbeat their mother's back is turned.

I am the thing that lives in the darkest corners.

I am all these things and more.

I am all that you fear the most.

And you are mine to feed on!

Mum, you have to tell her everything.

I want to know the truth.

This is a Vorgatt defence field emitter.

Morning.

I'm going to find out what you are, Odd Bob.

We're only scared of what we don't understand.

I will chill the blood of a nation.

And millions will shudder, sleepless with a bone...

gnawing...fear.

DEEP LAUGHTER

Help me!

LUKE!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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