Part 1 The Sarah Jane Adventures


Part 1

Children's science fiction drama. Everyone wants the new SerfBoard - and why not? What could be so dangerous about a computer?


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Transcript


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13 Bannerman Road is where Sarah Jane Smith lives. It's home to things way beyond your imagination.

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There's an extraterrestrial supercomputer in the wall,

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her son, a genetically-engineered boy genius.

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A schoolgirl investigator across the road,

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her adopted daughter from another world,

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and a whole universe of adventure right here on the doorstep.

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-Ready?

-Always.

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BELL TINGS

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Hi, I'm Joseph Serf.

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I'm here to introduce the SerfBoard, from Serf Systems.

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The world's newest and best portable computer.

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The 15th at 5pm, put it in your diary.

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The day the SerfBoard arrives and the revolution begins.

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Billions of dollars of research and development...

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Where's my billion dollars, Mr Serf?

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Excuse me, did I say device? I mean friend.

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From the 15th, the world will have another question to ask...

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STRANGE GIBBERING

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Hello?

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GIGGLING

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Hello?

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BANGING

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LIFT BELL RINGS

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Idiot!

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GIBBERING

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Ah!

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Do you want to see tomorrow today?

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-Morning, Sky.

-Well, I think I've got everything he wants.

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"Oh, it doesn't matter, Mum." He says and then, when he turns up,

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straight to the fridge and "Why haven't we got bacon?"

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Let him starve. When I went up to Oxford, the cupboards were bare.

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-Are you all right, Sky?

-Just a little nervous.

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I'm meeting Luke face-to-face, not just on the screen.

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You couldn't have a better brother.

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Right.

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Yeah.

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Not my room anymore.

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-Luke! Oh, welcome home!

-Hi, Mum.

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-Hi, Clani. Don't call us that.

-Clani? Who's Clani?

-Clyde, Rani - Clani.

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-It's meant to be funny.

-You can't keep away.

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-Luke, meet Sky. In person.

-Sky.

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Hi. Hi, Sky.

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You're taller than you look on webcam.

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Yes. Yes, I am.

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Sorry, I just went in your room. Forgot it wasn't mine anymore.

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-It's the best room and you don't live here anymore.

-It's fine.

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It's really fine.

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Hey! Finally, face-to-face.

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It's the clash of the nerds.

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Sky, behold my greatest success.

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Frankenbane's monster, now a normal human student,

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living off Pot Noodles and rising at 12 sharp

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-to watch Loose Women.

-Yeah, shut up.

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-Sky, I really hope we can be friends.

-Of course we'll be friends.

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I suppose we're sort of brother and sister.

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-Tea?

-Yeah.

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Oh, I had to leave K-9 back at uni. But look,

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I made this.

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-Dog whistle, cos you never know.

-What's he doing up there?

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He's backing up the Bodleian Library, the whole lot.

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-He wouldn't come back with me.

-Oh, good...ness me.

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-What a terrible shame(!)

-Oi, Mr Smith. Don't be nasty.

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We could always swap you for another computer, like the SerfBoard.

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-I hardly think

-that

-would be a good exchange.

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It's the launch this afternoon, at 5.

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'..affordable device. Excuse me, did I say device?

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-'I mean...'

-Nobody knows what it does when you switch it on.

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The rumours say everything.

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There's a rehearsal this morning. Just three of the country's

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very top journalists have been invited to watch.

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Do you know any of them? Could you blag us in?

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Er, I said just the top journalists have been invited.

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Yeah, so what if we swap a ticket?

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I mean me. Me! What do you think pays for all this?

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Taking in washing?

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Sorry, I just didn't think it was your kind of a story.

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-Yeah, almost good enough, Rani.

-I am not going to miss that!

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Who said you're going to miss it? Homecoming treat.

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-I'm not missing it either.

-You can come too, Sky.

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And?

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Oh, I'm sorry. That's all I could manage.

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I shouldn't really be taking anyone. Highly unprofessional.

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So unfair.

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Sorry, Clani. Family outing.

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Basically, we blab anything about the SerfBoard before the actual release,

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and they'll sue us to death.

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-But what if I disagree with the terms and conditions?

-They're fine.

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-Just sign.

-Believe me, if he says they're fine, they're fine.

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Whatever you say.

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Sarah Jane Smith!

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Let me drink you in, as lovely as ever!

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Oh, Luke, Sky? Lionel Carson.

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-An old, old fried.

-I could have been so much more. Now I am a ruin.

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You remain a paragon.

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Lionel was my editor when I first started on the nationals,

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-then he moved on to food and wine.

-Why are you covering the SerfBoard?

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I pulled rank to impress my grandchildren.

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I've met the great Mr Serf.

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I leave the technical stuff to you young people.

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I can't abide computers.

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Nothing wrong with a typewriter, says I.

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-What's a typewriter?

-Goodness me!

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Make me feel even more old-fashioned, why don't you?

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Oh, you were already old-fashioned when I was new-fangled.

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My son and my daughter.

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Sorry to keep you waiting. Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

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I'm John Harrison. Serf Systems public relations.

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The rehearsal's about to begin, so if you'd like to follow me up.

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Well, that's us. Would you care to accompany me,

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oh radiant one, in memory of what might have been?

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Oh, go on then!

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LOW THRUMMING

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-Luke, can you feel that?

-Feel what?

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Like electricity building up.

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-It's strong.

-Probably just a storm on the way.

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No, this is different. Strange.

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And I shall say, "Please say hi to Joseph Serf."

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And cue Mr Serf.

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-Not half bad in the flesh.

-He's like you, Sarah Jane.

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He's got charisma.

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Thank you, John. Then I'll say, "Pleased to meet you."

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And then I'll do this.

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Woah, who's that beautiful guy?

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Yes, very good, sir. Very spontaneous.

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-What next?

-You stand there, sir,

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and your close-ups will be in camera three.

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-Is the teleprompter in the right position?

-Yeah, it looks good to me.

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-And then straight into the spiel?

-Straight into the spiel.

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The SerfBoard will revolutionise the way we work, the way we play.

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Every home should have one. Soon, every home will have one.

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That's perfect, sir.

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And then the attendees will each be given a SerfBoard, like so.

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The SerfBoard. Take it home,

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press go, play and learn.

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It's a phenomenon and you're going to love it.

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-You're going to love it.

-"Why wait?" Is my motto.

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Download, browse, photos, books, anything.

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You're going to love it.

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It's the future. It's tomorrow. And you love it.

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You want one, you need one.

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Everybody wants one, Everybody's got to get one.

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-Did you see that?

-Yeah.

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-That's impossible.

-Er, excuse me?

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Can we have a little bit of hush, please?

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-But, Sarah Jane...

-Quiet, Sky.

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-But you did see that?

-Yes, but no-one else did.

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It's tomorrow and you love it.

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It's so easy to use. He was right.

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It's revolution, it's beautiful.

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-I love it.

-Well, it must be good to impress you.

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I never saw the point of computers,

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but this is so easy to use.

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-I'll see you at the launch.

-Bye.

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Oh, look what you've got! Hurrah for Mum!

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Hurrah...for Mum.

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Something weird happened in there, to Mr Serf.

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-What are you talking about?

-Mum, he glitched.

-He what?

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Just for a moment, he flickered.

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Right, back home. We need to check this out.

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What if I stay, look for more glitches?

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There could be others like Serf, whatever he is.

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-Good idea. Where to start?

-Oh, no.

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-Luke is old enough to look after himself.

-And I'm not?

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-No, you're not. Sorry.

-You be careful.

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Come on, Sky. Home.

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Right. Let's have look at you, my beauty.

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No, Clyde. Wait. We should check it out first.

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Only Luke and me saw it happen.

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Well, Luke's got superior senses

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and Sky's sensitive to electrical fluctuations, however tiny.

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Mr Smith, tap into the digital database. The rehearsal was recorded,

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so somebody at Serf must have sent the movie file. Get us a copy.

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That may take some considerable time, Sarah Jane. Here you are.

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Hey! You're doing that on purpose now.

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It was when Serf was saying everybody will want a SerfBoard.

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'Everybody wants one. Everybody's got one...'

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Freeze it between frame 4:34:21 and 23.

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-There's nothing there. You imagined it.

-I did not!

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-Roll back a tenth of a frame, Mr Smith.

-Time flexing applied.

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-That's impossible.

-Enhancing.

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That's not the recording, that's him. The picture didn't move.

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That's what I've been telling you.

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I'm getting just a bit suspicious and preparing to say the A-word.

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-What A-word?

-Aliens.

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Mr Smith, give us all you've got on Joseph Serf. What is he?

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Joseph Samuel Serf.

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Born Dayton, Ohio, 25th May 1972.

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Graduated Harvard 1993.

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Founded Serf Systems, then completely disappeared from public view

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after a near fatal skiing accident

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in Val d'Isere in 2007.

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Following this, he became famously reclusive. No interviews or pictures.

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The only images available after this date

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are these publicity photographs.

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Look. In all these photographs,

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he never once holds anything He never touches anybody.

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-So what, he's a hologram?

-No, more than that.

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He walks, talks, interacts with people. He's amazing.

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This technology, it's fantastic.

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But he sits down, he gets into cars.

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It's like a photo, you can fold it up and move it around.

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Oi-oi, who's that guy that's always right next to him? Who's he?

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John Harrison. PR for Serf Systems.

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The skiing accident. The real Serf died. He was replaced.

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And shortly afterwards, Serf Systems began the development of the SerfBoard.

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Oh, wait. Lionel.

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He hates computers.

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The moment he switched that on, he raved about it.

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What if it's got some sort of hypnotic power?

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Well, they replaced Serf and took over his company. But why?

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-What's this all for?

-And today's the launch.

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A SerfBoard in every home. You can count me out.

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Mr Smith, deep scan.

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Full spectrum analysis. Let's see what Luke finds out.

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While we wait, I want an interview with Mr Serf.

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-But he doesn't give interviews.

-Watch and learn, Rani.

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Mr Serf does not give interviews, Miss Smith.

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Oh, but the SerfBoard is just amazing.

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I have to do a personal follow-up with Mr Serf.

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You are invited to the launch later.

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Oh, what if I could just speak to Mr Serf?

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Just to tell him there are no glitches.

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Go on, Miss Smith.

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Well, Mr Serf seems so warm, so real, so...natural.

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I'm sure my readers would like to get to know

0:13:470:13:51

such a genuine human being.

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Well, that's different, Miss Smith. Please come right over.

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That's marvellous. I'll see you soon.

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-One of the country's top journalists.

-Wow, Sarah Jane.

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-Just wow.

-Isn't it a bit dangerous though? They know you know.

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Oh, I know they know I know. That's the only way to get in.

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And they know you know they know you know.

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Sometimes, that's best. I need to bring Serf Systems into the open.

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Find out what they're planning.

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And you need me. I saw the glitch and I might see something else.

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-What, another family outing?

-Yeah, OK. No, no, you wait here.

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Find out what Mr Smith makes of that. Come on, let's go.

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What's up?

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Oh, it's daft, but I feel like it's watching us.

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-How's the spying?

-I checked the car park, the reception,

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got a coffee from the machine, but nothing. No glitching, nothing weird.

0:14:500:14:53

It's time for your interview.

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OK. Meet you both back here in half an hour.

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Miss Smith, I hear you're a fan of the Board.

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-I certainly am, Mr Serf. Call me Sarah Jane.

-Joseph.

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-I'm sorry. I can't shake your hand.

-Oh, really?

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-Why ever not?

-Mr Serf suffers from an acute peanut allergy.

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I haven't been eating nuts.

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But you might have been in a nutty environment.

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Can't be too careful.

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Oh, I'm so sorry. How very convenient.

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Of course, I mean inconvenient.

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Does Mr Harrison need to be here, Joseph?

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Erm, actually, I'd prefer to stay.

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After all, I'd hate there to be any more glitches.

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Oh, with you around, Mr Harrison,

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I'm sure everything will run like clockwork.

0:15:480:15:50

I pride myself I can deal with any old spanners

0:15:500:15:53

that get into those works.

0:15:530:15:56

Erm, before we start, could I get something to drink?

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I'm parched.

0:15:590:16:01

Certainly, Miss Smith. Tea, coffee, anthrax?

0:16:010:16:05

-What was that?

-Nothing.

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HE LAUGHS

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No, I'll just have water, please.

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Nice, clear water

0:16:150:16:16

-that I can see right through.

-Coming right up.

0:16:160:16:20

Wouldn't you like some, Joseph? It's hot in here.

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I'm fine, thank you. Now, let's talk about the SerfBoard.

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Yes, let's.

0:16:270:16:30

MR SMITH: Deep scan complete.

0:16:300:16:33

Ooh, tell us the worst.

0:16:330:16:35

The SerfBoard is a standard, low specification laptop computer.

0:16:350:16:39

-And?

-That is all.

-Well, it can't be.

0:16:390:16:42

The hologram, the big launch tonight.

0:16:420:16:44

-One in every home.

-Hold on.

0:16:440:16:46

(What if it's got him?)

0:16:510:16:55

I can hear you, Clyde, and no, it hasn't got me.

0:16:550:17:00

It's not the first time you've said something was OK

0:17:000:17:03

and it turned out to be deadly.

0:17:030:17:05

Eh, leave it alone!

0:17:050:17:07

-We wait for the others to get back.

-But there's not much time.

0:17:070:17:11

How are you going to feel when everyone's going,

0:17:110:17:14

-"Serve the computer".

-Clyde.

0:17:140:17:17

-No.

-Oh, come on, the clock's ticking.

0:17:170:17:20

-Let's switch it on, see what it does.

-OK, but we do it my way.

0:17:200:17:23

We take precautions.

0:17:230:17:26

The implication for global communications...

0:17:260:17:31

Ooh, butter fingers!

0:17:310:17:34

Would you mind picking that up for me, Joseph?

0:17:340:17:37

Oh, please, Miss Smith.

0:17:370:17:40

Do use mine.

0:17:400:17:41

An electrical surge?

0:17:480:17:49

No, it feels strange. Coming from down below.

0:17:490:17:53

We'll tell Mum when she gets back.

0:17:530:17:57

Let's take a look.

0:17:570:17:59

Come on, it's what you always do.

0:17:590:18:01

-I'll go. You go back to the car.

-Not a chance.

-Sky!

0:18:010:18:05

Going down.

0:18:070:18:09

-How's the liking each other thing going now?

-I'll let you know.

0:18:090:18:12

COMPUTER PLAYS A TUNE

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-Hey, it was my idea!

-Yeah, but it needs a delicate touch.

0:18:210:18:24

Well, I'm delicate. In a very manly way.

0:18:240:18:28

I've got artists fingers.

0:18:280:18:30

SHE LAUGHS

0:18:300:18:33

Just like the old days. You and me. Having a laugh.

0:18:330:18:37

-Yeah, I meant to say, all that stuff with Ellie...

-It's OK.

0:18:370:18:42

Right, let's do this.

0:18:440:18:46

COMPUTER PLAYS A TUNE

0:18:480:18:50

SCREECHING

0:18:580:19:00

OK, I can't sense the electrical surge,

0:19:000:19:03

but I can hear that.

0:19:030:19:04

-Coming from further down.

-But this is the bottom floor.

0:19:040:19:08

Unless there's an override command. I can reverse the code.

0:19:080:19:13

LIFT BEEPS

0:19:170:19:18

Knew it.

0:19:180:19:20

-There's nothing. Really, nothing. I'm going to take these off.

-Careful!

0:19:240:19:30

In fact, it's more than a bit rubbish.

0:19:330:19:35

It's bog standard. What's so special about this?

0:19:350:19:38

It's not the Board itself. That's normal.

0:19:380:19:41

-It looks cool, that's all.

-What did I tell you?

0:19:410:19:44

Then, what is going on?

0:19:440:19:47

Down here.

0:19:570:19:59

SCREECHING

0:20:190:20:24

Whatever it is, it's through there.

0:20:290:20:32

-It is the functionality...

-That's Mum.

0:20:340:20:37

I mean, you've revolutionised the entire company.

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Our team of specialists made improving the functionality

0:20:420:20:45

their number one priority.

0:20:450:20:47

So, you must have been amazed, Joseph,

0:20:480:20:50

when you got your hand on the keyboard for the first time.

0:20:500:20:54

I mean, to see your dreams made into a solid reality.

0:20:540:20:57

I'd love to tell my readers how that felt.

0:20:570:20:59

From your unique point of view.

0:20:590:21:02

It was a great moment. I always had faith in my tech guys.

0:21:020:21:06

Keep up! Keep up!

0:21:150:21:18

Well, ideas can be so intangible, can't they?

0:21:250:21:29

Oh, dear, what am I saying?

0:21:290:21:30

That's OK, Miss Smith.

0:21:300:21:33

Smile!

0:21:330:21:34

Joseph, are you all right?

0:21:410:21:43

Keep up! Keep up!

0:21:430:21:45

Oh! Keep up, keep up!

0:21:490:21:53

We all say thongs we don't moan.

0:21:540:21:58

Spelling! Spelling!

0:22:000:22:02

Forgove me. Things we don't mean.

0:22:040:22:07

Keep trying and smile again!

0:22:100:22:12

Thoughtful smile, not sexy smile!

0:22:170:22:20

-It's incredible.

-They're controlling him.

0:22:260:22:30

Everything he says and does, it's them.

0:22:300:22:32

What else do you want to know?

0:22:410:22:42

Ooh!

0:22:420:22:44

Emergency stand!

0:22:440:22:46

Steady on, bum!

0:22:470:22:49

And one, two, three and up!

0:22:500:22:55

Quick, fabric!

0:22:590:23:01

I'm so sorry.

0:23:040:23:06

What a clumsy clot you are, Miss Smith.

0:23:060:23:09

One of our country's most famously shrewd journalists

0:23:090:23:14

is apparently such a loveable scatterbrain.

0:23:140:23:18

Well, Miss Moss...

0:23:180:23:20

Miss Smith, what else do you want to know?

0:23:230:23:26

-I just hope I can stop embarrassing myself for a start.

-Hypno to ten.

0:23:260:23:32

Hypno power to ten! Hypno power to ten!

0:23:320:23:35

She must trust! She must trust!

0:23:350:23:37

You love the SerfBoard, Sarah Jane.

0:23:420:23:45

It's the most amazing computer you've ever seen.

0:23:450:23:49

Stronger, hypno! Stronger, hypno!

0:23:490:23:50

And I am the most amazing man you've ever seen.

0:23:550:24:00

Yes, yes, you're such a handsome man, Mr Serf.

0:24:000:24:04

But I'm an old hand at hypnotism and when it comes to men,

0:24:060:24:10

I actually prefer something I can grab hold of.

0:24:100:24:13

Got you!

0:24:130:24:14

Failure! Legs failed!

0:24:140:24:17

Failed! Stand down. Await orders.

0:24:170:24:21

This is alien technology.

0:24:230:24:26

And it's pretty erratic.

0:24:280:24:32

Alien technology?

0:24:320:24:34

You mean, something that's not made on this planet. Like this?

0:24:340:24:38

-One false move, Miss Smith, and you are dead.

-Mum! No!

0:24:420:24:48

Intruders!

0:24:480:24:50

-You!

-Please, let her go!

0:25:020:25:04

She's my sister. She's just a child, please!

0:25:040:25:08

You! You!

0:25:080:25:10

-Sky, get out of there!

-They're going to kill us!

0:25:130:25:15

ALARM SOUNDS

0:25:150:25:18

We're in! Trevor and Janet Sharpe.

0:25:180:25:22

Escaped? Well, then, find her.

0:25:230:25:26

The cavalry's coming and it's me and the missus.

0:25:280:25:30

This time, you are working for your lives.

0:25:300:25:34

You've got to work Serf.

0:25:340:25:36

No!

0:25:370:25:39

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:25:520:25:56

E-mail [email protected]

0:25:560:25:59

Joseph Serf has launched his new SerfBoard, the must-have computer that no one can resist owning. Intrigued, Sarah Jane takes Luke and Sky to investigate what is so compelling about Serf and his business. Meanwhile Clyde and Rani take a SerfBoard to pieces, suspecting alien technology may be the answer. Everyone wants the new SerfBoard - and why not? What could be so dangerous about a computer?


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