Browse content similar to Episode 15. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
Line | From | To | |
---|---|---|---|
# You've been found guilty Of a howling showbiz crime | 0:00:04 | 0:00:08 | |
# So welcome to The Slammer Where you're gonna serve your time | 0:00:08 | 0:00:12 | |
# With every type of minstrel Entertainer and artiste | 0:00:12 | 0:00:17 | |
# Performing to the limit To try and get released | 0:00:17 | 0:00:21 | |
# So go fetch the audience | 0:00:21 | 0:00:24 | |
# And bring them to The Slammer | 0:00:24 | 0:00:26 | |
# And polish up your act | 0:00:26 | 0:00:28 | |
# With a bit of glitz and glamour | 0:00:28 | 0:00:30 | |
# Your fate is in their hands | 0:00:30 | 0:00:32 | |
# So make 'em cheer and clamour | 0:00:32 | 0:00:35 | |
# It's the only way You'll ever leave The Slammer | 0:00:35 | 0:00:39 | |
# It's the only way You'll ever leave The Slammer. # | 0:00:39 | 0:00:42 | |
Hello my little jailer and jailbirds. | 0:00:46 | 0:00:48 | |
I'm the Governor and welcome to a very special edition of The Slammer. | 0:00:48 | 0:00:52 | |
Let's face it, the break between Christmas and New Year can be, | 0:00:52 | 0:00:56 | |
well, a little bit boring once the presents have been opened and broken | 0:00:56 | 0:01:00 | |
and the choccies have been scoffed. Well, for the next half hour | 0:01:00 | 0:01:03 | |
all that's about to change | 0:01:03 | 0:01:05 | |
as I present for you, as a Christmas bonus, | 0:01:05 | 0:01:07 | |
a special selection box of some of the cleverest convict acts | 0:01:07 | 0:01:12 | |
we've had through the doors of The Slammer this year. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:15 | |
First an act that were flexible and funny | 0:01:15 | 0:01:18 | |
as we relive the incredible acrobatic antics of the Acromaniacs. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:22 | |
CHEERING | 0:01:34 | 0:01:36 | |
CRUNCH! | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
PA-A-ARP! | 0:02:34 | 0:02:37 | |
CHEERING | 0:03:45 | 0:03:47 | |
I don't know about you, but seeing them again there | 0:03:47 | 0:03:51 | |
makes me feel dead proud. | 0:03:51 | 0:03:53 | |
After that performance they got released from The Slammer | 0:03:53 | 0:03:55 | |
but they sent me a Christmas card. | 0:03:55 | 0:03:57 | |
It says, " Happy Christmas to the Governor. Love from the Acromaniacs. | 0:03:57 | 0:04:01 | |
"PS - tell Melvin we still want that 20 quid he owes us." | 0:04:01 | 0:04:05 | |
-BURP! -Sorry about that. Mince pies. | 0:04:05 | 0:04:08 | |
Now, prepare to be amazed | 0:04:08 | 0:04:11 | |
as we present a prisoner who got on his bike quite literally. | 0:04:11 | 0:04:14 | |
The cycling skills of Rob Alton - BMX master. | 0:04:14 | 0:04:18 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:04:30 | 0:04:33 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:04:48 | 0:04:50 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:05:24 | 0:05:26 | |
CHEERING | 0:05:43 | 0:05:46 | |
Rob Alton, the BMX master there. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
Before he left The Slammer, he asked me join his act | 0:06:31 | 0:06:35 | |
after seeing me pull some impressive wheelies on my own tricycle. | 0:06:35 | 0:06:39 | |
But I had to say, "Rob, I am a man of many talents, | 0:06:39 | 0:06:42 | |
"but it would be unfair to leave the other prisoners to Mr Burgess." | 0:06:42 | 0:06:46 | |
So I had to turn him down | 0:06:46 | 0:06:48 | |
but hey, that's showbiz, folks! | 0:06:48 | 0:06:51 | |
Sorry, anyway...where was I? | 0:06:51 | 0:06:53 | |
Time for some dancing of the Bollywood kind | 0:06:53 | 0:06:56 | |
as we prepare to present to you the bewitching, brilliant Bavini. | 0:06:56 | 0:07:01 | |
BOLLYWOOD TUNE PLAYS | 0:07:01 | 0:07:04 | |
TEMPO SPEEDS UP | 0:07:41 | 0:07:43 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:08:46 | 0:08:48 | |
The former prisoner you're about to see | 0:08:48 | 0:08:51 | |
is one of the most amazing talents we've ever seen in The Slammer - | 0:08:51 | 0:08:55 | |
a juggler with lightning fast fingers. I taught him all he knows. | 0:08:55 | 0:08:59 | |
-CRASH -So it gives me great pleasure | 0:08:59 | 0:09:01 | |
to introduce to you the supreme skills of Chris Creamo. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:05 | |
Missed! | 0:09:06 | 0:09:07 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:09:49 | 0:09:52 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:10:06 | 0:10:08 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:10:42 | 0:10:44 | |
FUNKY DANCE MUSIC PLAYS | 0:10:44 | 0:10:47 | |
Well, it goes without saying that I've got twinkle toes. | 0:10:52 | 0:10:55 | |
At The Slammer Christmas party, there was a stampede of people | 0:10:55 | 0:10:59 | |
trying to catch me on the dancefloor throwing a few shapes. | 0:10:59 | 0:11:02 | |
Most of them were heading back to the cells begging to be locked in | 0:11:02 | 0:11:06 | |
but I knew they liked me. Uh, who am I trying to kid? | 0:11:06 | 0:11:09 | |
The only thing I've got in common with this lot of dancing delinquents | 0:11:09 | 0:11:12 | |
is a love of fine tailoring. Check out Flawless. | 0:11:12 | 0:11:16 | |
Oh, I think I've pulled a fat. | 0:11:16 | 0:11:18 | |
This is the situation now. | 0:11:18 | 0:11:19 | |
# Absolutely flawless | 0:11:19 | 0:11:21 | |
# Better watch | 0:12:12 | 0:12:14 | |
# Listen up | 0:12:14 | 0:12:16 | |
CHEERING | 0:12:19 | 0:12:22 | |
# So...so...so electric... # | 0:12:22 | 0:12:26 | |
DISCO TEMPO PLAYS | 0:12:26 | 0:12:29 | |
ELECTRONIC DANCE BEAT PLAYS | 0:12:43 | 0:12:46 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:13:09 | 0:13:11 | |
Cheers to the fabulous Flawless lads | 0:13:11 | 0:13:14 | |
who rocked their way out of The Slammer with that routine. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:17 | |
Now it's time for a song. Our next act wasn't an actual inmate, | 0:13:17 | 0:13:21 | |
he was a young visitor who helped us out when Melvin got stage fright. | 0:13:21 | 0:13:26 | |
His name was Mr Sean Walsh | 0:13:26 | 0:13:28 | |
who's only 11 years of age, but he certainly got us rocking. | 0:13:28 | 0:13:32 | |
He was Rocking Robin, in fact. Enjoy. | 0:13:32 | 0:13:35 | |
# He rocks in the tree tops all day long | 0:13:35 | 0:13:38 | |
# Hoppin' and a-boppin' Just singing that song | 0:13:38 | 0:13:40 | |
# All the little birdies on Jaybird Street | 0:13:40 | 0:13:43 | |
# Love to hear the robin Go tweet tweet tweet | 0:13:43 | 0:13:45 | |
-# Rockin' robin -Tweet Tweet -rock rock | 0:13:45 | 0:13:48 | |
-# Rockin' robin -Tweet Tweetdl-tweet | 0:13:48 | 0:13:51 | |
# Blow Rockin' Robin Cos we really got to rock tonight | 0:13:51 | 0:13:55 | |
# Tweetdl-tweet | 0:13:55 | 0:13:57 | |
# Pretty little raven at the bird-band stand | 0:14:13 | 0:14:16 | |
# Told them how to do the bop And it was grand | 0:14:16 | 0:14:19 | |
# They started going steady And-a bless my soul | 0:14:19 | 0:14:21 | |
# He out-bopped the buzzard and the oriol | 0:14:21 | 0:14:24 | |
# He rocked in the treetops All day long | 0:14:24 | 0:14:27 | |
# Hoppin' and a-boppin' Just singin' that song | 0:14:27 | 0:14:29 | |
# All the little birdies on Jailbird Street | 0:14:29 | 0:14:32 | |
# Love to hear the robin Go tweet tweet tweet | 0:14:32 | 0:14:35 | |
-# Rockin' Robin -Tweet tweet -rock rock | 0:14:35 | 0:14:38 | |
-# Rockin' Robin -Tweet Tweetdl-tweet | 0:14:38 | 0:14:40 | |
# Blow Rockin' Robin Cos we really got to rock tonight | 0:14:40 | 0:14:44 | |
# Tweet tweet, tweetdl-tweet | 0:14:44 | 0:14:46 | |
# Tweetdl-tweetdl-tweet Tweetdl-tweetdl-tweet | 0:14:46 | 0:14:49 | |
# Tweetdl-tweetdl-tweet Tweetdl-tweetdl-tweet | 0:14:49 | 0:14:52 | |
# Tweetdl-tweetdl-tweet Tweetdl-tweetdl-tweet, tweet | 0:14:52 | 0:14:55 | |
# Tweet, tweet, tweet-tweet. # | 0:14:55 | 0:14:57 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:14:57 | 0:14:59 | |
Hello, little rockin' robin there. Fly free little bird. | 0:14:59 | 0:15:05 | |
-SPLAT! -Thank you. | 0:15:05 | 0:15:08 | |
As it's Christmas, I'll introduce this next act through charades. | 0:15:08 | 0:15:13 | |
So, three words. Sounds like... | 0:15:13 | 0:15:17 | |
Oh! ..Obviously they're tight. Loose, yeah. | 0:15:17 | 0:15:21 | |
OK, second word. Hair. Loose hair. | 0:15:21 | 0:15:25 | |
Third word. Head. Loose hair head. | 0:15:25 | 0:15:28 | |
Which is a ridiculous name for an act. | 0:15:28 | 0:15:32 | |
So I'll pass you to a man who has more hot air than me. Bruce Airhead. | 0:15:32 | 0:15:37 | |
Do you have some paper? | 0:15:37 | 0:15:39 | |
You're right, that bird will be miles away by now. | 0:15:39 | 0:15:43 | |
MUSIC: "Mambo No.5" by Lou Bega | 0:15:43 | 0:15:46 | |
# One, two, three, four, five | 0:15:53 | 0:15:56 | |
# Everybody in the car, so come on let's ride | 0:15:56 | 0:15:58 | |
# To the liquor store around the corner | 0:15:58 | 0:16:01 | |
# The boys say they want some gin and juice but I really don't wanna | 0:16:01 | 0:16:05 | |
# Beerbust like I had last week | 0:16:05 | 0:16:07 | |
# I must stay deep cos talk is cheap | 0:16:07 | 0:16:10 | |
# I like Angela, Pamela, Sandra and Rita | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
# And as I continue, you know they're getting sweeter | 0:16:12 | 0:16:16 | |
# So what can I do? I really beg you, my Lord | 0:16:16 | 0:16:18 | |
# To me flirting is just like a sport | 0:16:18 | 0:16:21 | |
# Anything fly It's all good, let me dump it | 0:16:21 | 0:16:24 | |
# Please send in the trumpet | 0:16:24 | 0:16:26 | |
# A little bit of Monica in my life | 0:16:26 | 0:16:28 | |
# A little bit of Erica by my side | 0:16:28 | 0:16:31 | |
# A little bit of Rita's all I need | 0:16:31 | 0:16:34 | |
# A little bit of Tina's what I see | 0:16:34 | 0:16:36 | |
# Jump up and down and move it all around | 0:16:47 | 0:16:50 | |
# Shake your head to the sound Put your hands on the ground | 0:16:50 | 0:16:53 | |
# Take one step left and one step right | 0:16:53 | 0:16:55 | |
# One to the front and one to the side | 0:16:55 | 0:16:58 | |
# Clap your hands once and clap your hands twice | 0:16:58 | 0:17:01 | |
# And if it looks like this then you're doing it right | 0:17:01 | 0:17:03 | |
# A little bit of Monica in my life | 0:17:03 | 0:17:06 | |
# A little bit of Erica by my side | 0:17:06 | 0:17:09 | |
# A little bit of Rita's all I need | 0:17:09 | 0:17:11 | |
# A little bit of Tina's what I see | 0:17:11 | 0:17:14 | |
# A little bit of Sandra in the sun | 0:17:14 | 0:17:17 | |
# A little bit of Mary all night long | 0:17:17 | 0:17:20 | |
# A little bit of Jessica, here I am | 0:17:20 | 0:17:22 | |
# A little bit of you makes me your man. # | 0:17:22 | 0:17:25 | |
THUNDERBIRDS THEME TUNE | 0:17:31 | 0:17:35 | |
'..four...three...two... | 0:17:35 | 0:17:39 | |
'one.' | 0:17:39 | 0:17:41 | |
SUPERMAN THEME TUNE | 0:17:43 | 0:17:47 | |
We have some remarkable talents residing at Her Majesty's pleasure | 0:17:54 | 0:18:00 | |
here in the Slammer. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:02 | |
If you were left breathless by Bruce Airhead, make sure you sit down. | 0:18:02 | 0:18:07 | |
This next act will amuse and amaze. | 0:18:07 | 0:18:10 | |
It's the superb and surprising Human Slinky. | 0:18:10 | 0:18:15 | |
MUSIC: "Beware of the Dog" by Jamelia | 0:18:20 | 0:18:24 | |
# Oh, oh, uh, uh, yeah | 0:18:28 | 0:18:31 | |
# Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah | 0:18:31 | 0:18:35 | |
# Oh, oh Uh, uh | 0:18:35 | 0:18:38 | |
# Oh, oh, uh, uh | 0:18:38 | 0:18:42 | |
# D'you know how much you want him You're trying to be cool about it | 0:18:42 | 0:18:46 | |
# You're trying to be big about it | 0:18:46 | 0:18:48 | |
# You're constantly just denying | 0:18:48 | 0:18:52 | |
# You're like a moth to a flame | 0:18:52 | 0:18:54 | |
# You hardly wait But listen cos I know what I'm saying | 0:18:54 | 0:18:59 | |
# He's trying to catch you in And then he will back you in | 0:18:59 | 0:19:03 | |
# Cos he's just another girl addict | 0:19:03 | 0:19:06 | |
# And if you give it away | 0:19:06 | 0:19:09 | |
# You better be crazy, crazy | 0:19:09 | 0:19:11 | |
# Stop, you better shake him off | 0:19:11 | 0:19:14 | |
# Before he gets ya | 0:19:14 | 0:19:16 | |
# He's gonna get ya He's coming to get ya | 0:19:16 | 0:19:19 | |
# Stop, he'll only build you up And then forget ya | 0:19:19 | 0:19:23 | |
# He's dirty to the bone Beware of the dog | 0:19:23 | 0:19:27 | |
# You better shake him off | 0:19:27 | 0:19:29 | |
# Before he gets ya | 0:19:29 | 0:19:30 | |
# He's gonna get ya He's coming to get ya | 0:19:30 | 0:19:34 | |
# Stop, he'll only build you up And then forget ya | 0:19:34 | 0:19:38 | |
# He's dirty to the bone Beware of the dog | 0:19:38 | 0:19:42 | |
# Oh, stop, you better shake him off Before he gets ya | 0:19:42 | 0:19:45 | |
# He's gonna get ya He's coming to get ya | 0:19:45 | 0:19:49 | |
# Stop, he'll only build you up And then forget ya | 0:19:49 | 0:19:53 | |
# He's dirty to the bone Beware of the dog | 0:19:53 | 0:19:56 | |
# Beware of the dog | 0:19:58 | 0:20:00 | |
# Beware of the dog. # | 0:20:02 | 0:20:04 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:20:05 | 0:20:07 | |
Occasionally, we look after inmates who need extra warden security. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:12 | |
This next act fell into this high-risk category. | 0:20:12 | 0:20:16 | |
Not cos we though they'd escape but because my nephew is such a big fan, | 0:20:16 | 0:20:21 | |
he wanted to join the band and started stalking them day and night | 0:20:21 | 0:20:26 | |
which was very embarrassing. | 0:20:26 | 0:20:28 | |
Anyway, after this performance of Star Girl, they were released. | 0:20:28 | 0:20:32 | |
Here they are - the one and only McFly. Hit it! | 0:20:32 | 0:20:36 | |
-HE DRUMS A BEAT -Stick that up your jumper, Harry! | 0:20:36 | 0:20:41 | |
# Hey | 0:20:42 | 0:20:43 | |
# I'm looking up for my star girl | 0:20:43 | 0:20:46 | |
# I guess I'm stuck in this mad world | 0:20:46 | 0:20:49 | |
# With things that I wanna say | 0:20:49 | 0:20:52 | |
# But you're a million miles away | 0:20:52 | 0:20:55 | |
# And I was afraid when you kissed me | 0:20:55 | 0:20:58 | |
# On your intergalactical frisbee | 0:20:58 | 0:21:02 | |
# I wonder why, I wonder why | 0:21:02 | 0:21:04 | |
# You never asked me to stay | 0:21:04 | 0:21:08 | |
# Ooo-oo-ooo-oo | 0:21:08 | 0:21:11 | |
# So wouldn't you like to come with me? | 0:21:11 | 0:21:14 | |
# Ooo-oo-ooo-oo | 0:21:14 | 0:21:17 | |
# Surfin' the sun As it starts to rise | 0:21:17 | 0:21:21 | |
# Ooo-oo-ooo-oo | 0:21:21 | 0:21:22 | |
# Whoa, your gravity's makin' me dizzy | 0:21:22 | 0:21:28 | |
# Girl, I gotta tell ya I'm feelin' much better | 0:21:28 | 0:21:31 | |
# Make a little love in the moonlight | 0:21:31 | 0:21:35 | |
# Hey | 0:21:37 | 0:21:38 | |
# There's nothin' on Earth that could save us | 0:21:38 | 0:21:41 | |
# When I fell in love with Uranus I don't wanna give you away | 0:21:41 | 0:21:48 | |
# Cos it makes no sense at all | 0:21:48 | 0:21:51 | |
# Houston we got a problem | 0:21:51 | 0:21:54 | |
# Ground control couldn't stop them | 0:21:54 | 0:21:57 | |
# I wonder why, I wonder why | 0:21:57 | 0:22:00 | |
# You never asked me to stay, yeah | 0:22:00 | 0:22:03 | |
# Ooo-oo-ooo-oo | 0:22:03 | 0:22:06 | |
# Wouldn't you like to come with me? | 0:22:06 | 0:22:09 | |
# Ooo-oo-ooo-oo | 0:22:09 | 0:22:12 | |
# Surfin' the sun as it starts to rise | 0:22:12 | 0:22:16 | |
# Ooo-oo-ooo-oo | 0:22:16 | 0:22:18 | |
# Whoa, your gravity's makin' me dizzy | 0:22:18 | 0:22:23 | |
# Girl, I gotta tell ya I feel much better | 0:22:23 | 0:22:26 | |
# Make a little love in the moonlight | 0:22:26 | 0:22:30 | |
# Fly awaaaaay | 0:22:31 | 0:22:34 | |
# Watch the night turn into day | 0:22:34 | 0:22:37 | |
# Dance on the Milky Way | 0:22:38 | 0:22:40 | |
# Melt me with your eyes | 0:22:41 | 0:22:44 | |
# My star girl rules the skies | 0:22:44 | 0:22:54 | |
# One, two, one, two, three, four | 0:22:57 | 0:23:00 | |
# Ooo-oo-ooo-oo | 0:23:16 | 0:23:19 | |
# Wouldn't you like to come with me? | 0:23:19 | 0:23:22 | |
# Ooo-oo-ooo-oo | 0:23:22 | 0:23:25 | |
# Go surfin' the sun as it starts to rise | 0:23:25 | 0:23:28 | |
# Ooo-oo-ooo-oo | 0:23:28 | 0:23:31 | |
# Woah, wouldn't you like to go with me? | 0:23:31 | 0:23:33 | |
# Yeah | 0:23:33 | 0:23:36 | |
# Girl, I gotta tell ya I feel much better | 0:23:36 | 0:23:38 | |
# I can't get enough of you | 0:23:38 | 0:23:41 | |
# Galaxy defender, stay forever | 0:23:42 | 0:23:45 | |
# Never get enough of you. # | 0:23:45 | 0:23:49 | |
Listen, jailers and jailbirds, | 0:23:54 | 0:23:56 | |
we've almost reached the end of our trip down memory lane. | 0:23:56 | 0:24:00 | |
But before I head home for another triple decker turkey sandwich, | 0:24:00 | 0:24:05 | |
and one final bucket of Christmas pud, I've one last surprise for you. | 0:24:05 | 0:24:10 | |
It's a favourite of mine from the Slammer this year. | 0:24:10 | 0:24:13 | |
It's the quick-change artists, David and Dania. | 0:24:13 | 0:24:17 | |
David and Dania there - what professionalism. | 0:26:17 | 0:26:21 | |
And what a truly unique act - which reminds me... | 0:26:21 | 0:26:26 | |
I asked Mr Burgess, Gimbert, Melvin, and Pete to meet me in my office | 0:26:26 | 0:26:30 | |
round about now for an important announcement. | 0:26:30 | 0:26:33 | |
Left, right, left, right, left, right... | 0:26:33 | 0:26:38 | |
Stand up nicely for the Governor. | 0:26:38 | 0:26:39 | |
You have lots of time on your hands but I have a date with a Yule log | 0:26:39 | 0:26:44 | |
and the very best of Strictly Come Dancing on DVD. | 0:26:44 | 0:26:48 | |
-ALL: Hang on. Melvin? What are you doing back? -I missed ya. | 0:26:48 | 0:26:53 | |
Yes, well, we missed you. Anyway, I have something serious to say. | 0:26:53 | 0:26:59 | |
-What I have to say is... -POP! | 0:26:59 | 0:27:02 | |
Happy new year! Hurray! | 0:27:02 | 0:27:05 | |
ALL: Happy new year! | 0:27:05 | 0:27:08 | |
# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime | 0:27:08 | 0:27:11 | |
# So welcome to The Slammer, where you're gonna serve your time | 0:27:11 | 0:27:15 | |
# With every type of minstrel, entertainer and artiste | 0:27:15 | 0:27:20 | |
# Performing to the limit to try and get released | 0:27:20 | 0:27:24 | |
# So go fetch the audience, bring them to The Slammer | 0:27:33 | 0:27:38 | |
# And polish up your act with a bit of glitz and glamour | 0:27:38 | 0:27:42 | |
# Your fate is in their hands, so make them cheer and clamour | 0:27:42 | 0:27:46 | |
-# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer -The Slammer | 0:27:48 | 0:27:53 | |
# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! # | 0:27:53 | 0:27:56 |