Episode 7 The Slammer
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
# You've been found guilty Of a howling showbiz crime | 0:00:03 | 0:00:08 | |
# So welcome to the slammer Where you're gonna serve your time | 0:00:08 | 0:00:13 | |
# With every type of minstrel Entertainer and artiste | 0:00:13 | 0:00:17 | |
# Performing to the limit To try and get released | 0:00:17 | 0:00:21 | |
# So go fetch the audience Bring 'em to the slammer | 0:00:21 | 0:00:25 | |
# And polish up your act With a bit of glitz and glamour | 0:00:25 | 0:00:30 | |
# Your fate is in their hands So make 'em cheer and holler | 0:00:30 | 0:00:34 | |
# It's the only way you'll ever leave the slammer | 0:00:34 | 0:00:39 | |
# It's the only way you'll ever leave the slammer. # | 0:00:39 | 0:00:44 | |
Ah, breakfast. The most important meal of the day. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:48 | |
Order from the Ministry, sir. Marked "important". | 0:00:48 | 0:00:52 | |
Nothing's more important than breakfast! | 0:00:52 | 0:00:55 | |
-Another one. Marked "More Important Than Breakfast". -All right... | 0:00:55 | 0:01:00 | |
Order one - all prisoners must watch the Weakest Link. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:04 | |
Order two - special fried rice...? | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
Order three - there must be a roller-skating act | 0:01:06 | 0:01:10 | |
in the Freedom Show! Are they mad?! | 0:01:10 | 0:01:12 | |
Yes, Uncle. I prefer Deal Or No Deal! | 0:01:12 | 0:01:15 | |
-Don't have a roller-skating act. -Orders are orders. | 0:01:15 | 0:01:18 | |
We'll hold auditions to find the best roller skate act. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:23 | |
The winner gets a place on the Freedom Show... | 0:01:23 | 0:01:26 | |
along with the amazing Christopher, | 0:01:26 | 0:01:28 | |
Duo Veslovski... | 0:01:28 | 0:01:30 | |
Grim Baldy and the Bear. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:34 | |
Now, I'm late for a meeting... | 0:01:34 | 0:01:36 | |
..with this cream cake. | 0:01:36 | 0:01:37 | |
BUZZING | 0:01:37 | 0:01:38 | |
Order four, sir. "No more cream cakes, Chunky Bum." | 0:01:38 | 0:01:42 | |
Gimme that... | 0:01:43 | 0:01:44 | |
-The slammer's gone roller skate mad. -Including me! Look at my skates! | 0:01:46 | 0:01:51 | |
-Super-speedy boom-booms! -OK, I'm the only one without any. | 0:01:51 | 0:01:55 | |
Hey, Pete. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:56 | |
The roller skate auditions are today. So guess what's in these? | 0:01:56 | 0:02:00 | |
No way! That 37inch plasma TV we ordered! | 0:02:00 | 0:02:03 | |
No. Roller skates. I swapped them for a few things we didn't need... | 0:02:03 | 0:02:09 | |
We can enter the competition, win it, enter the Freedom Show, | 0:02:09 | 0:02:13 | |
win that, get out the Slammer, then both get home! | 0:02:13 | 0:02:16 | |
Wow, you make it sound easy! | 0:02:16 | 0:02:19 | |
-Auditions are at three. What time is it? -Six minutes past. | 0:02:19 | 0:02:22 | |
We'll blag it. You've skated before, right? | 0:02:22 | 0:02:26 | |
Not standing up... | 0:02:26 | 0:02:27 | |
'It's day one on Britain's Got Wheels | 0:02:27 | 0:02:30 | |
'and the auditions are about to start.' | 0:02:30 | 0:02:34 | |
Excuse me, do you mind? We're trying to audition here! | 0:02:34 | 0:02:38 | |
-Clear off. -'Sorry.' | 0:02:38 | 0:02:40 | |
-Honestly. -Cheek. -Now, are we ready? Let's start. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:43 | |
What I'm looking for is a really sensational, | 0:02:44 | 0:02:47 | |
exciting, roller-skating act. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:49 | |
Someone to light up the Freedom Show. | 0:02:49 | 0:02:51 | |
Yes, what I'm looking for is the very worst of roller skaters. | 0:02:51 | 0:02:56 | |
Someone I can be nasty to. | 0:02:56 | 0:02:57 | |
Well, what the, erm... Oh! | 0:02:57 | 0:03:00 | |
What the...what the... | 0:03:00 | 0:03:02 | |
What is that furry thing? | 0:03:02 | 0:03:04 | |
We're looking for a star! We've found a lot of black holes. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:08 | |
It's all part of the prison service. | 0:03:09 | 0:03:12 | |
Right, well, let the auditions commence! | 0:03:14 | 0:03:17 | |
Next... | 0:03:21 | 0:03:23 | |
Next. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:26 | |
Yeah... Yeah... No. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
Ha ha, yes. "Good" is not the word. "Rubbish" is the word! | 0:03:28 | 0:03:34 | |
Next! | 0:03:35 | 0:03:36 | |
Yes, I'd say I definitely, definitely... | 0:03:36 | 0:03:39 | |
..need the loo. | 0:03:39 | 0:03:40 | |
ALL: Next. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:43 | |
Every single entrant, not one who could even stay upright. | 0:03:56 | 0:04:00 | |
No roller skate act. The Ministry will sack us all! | 0:04:00 | 0:04:04 | |
And look at the clock! Almost showtime! | 0:04:04 | 0:04:07 | |
All we need is any idiot under the age of 90 who can skate! | 0:04:07 | 0:04:11 | |
SIREN WAILS | 0:04:11 | 0:04:12 | |
-Whoa! -Whoa! -Argh! | 0:04:12 | 0:04:16 | |
-We're here for the auditions! -Are we too late? -Can you skate? | 0:04:16 | 0:04:21 | |
-Of course! -Well, it's yes from me. | 0:04:21 | 0:04:23 | |
-Gimbert? -Yes? -Mr Burgess? -World class. -OK, you're in! | 0:04:23 | 0:04:27 | |
BOTH: Yay... argh! | 0:04:27 | 0:04:28 | |
-In that case, how do I look? -ALL: Fine. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
Thank you. It's show time! | 0:04:31 | 0:04:33 | |
'Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HM Slammer | 0:04:34 | 0:04:38 | |
'where you decide which prisoner is to be released. | 0:04:38 | 0:04:41 | |
'Please welcome your host, keeping locked up once they're caught, | 0:04:41 | 0:04:46 | |
'all the acts that have been naught...y | 0:04:46 | 0:04:49 | |
'It's the Guv'nor!' | 0:04:49 | 0:04:50 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:04:50 | 0:04:53 | |
Who's the guv'nor? | 0:05:06 | 0:05:08 | |
AUDIENCE: You're the guv'nor! | 0:05:08 | 0:05:10 | |
What jailers and jailbirds! What a fantastic audience! | 0:05:10 | 0:05:13 | |
Remember, you'll decide who's going free. | 0:05:13 | 0:05:18 | |
We've got a cracking good act, cowboy whip act Duo Veslovsky! | 0:05:18 | 0:05:23 | |
AUDIENCE: Wooh! | 0:05:23 | 0:05:25 | |
We've got an unusual act called Grim Baldy And The Bear. | 0:05:25 | 0:05:29 | |
AUDIENCE: Oooh! | 0:05:29 | 0:05:32 | |
And two prisoners on roller skates! | 0:05:32 | 0:05:34 | |
AUDIENCE: Oooh! | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
Now, convict connoisseurs, a sensational act for you. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:41 | |
A puppet act with a difference, life-size. | 0:05:41 | 0:05:44 | |
Serving nine months in the Noel Edmunds wing | 0:05:44 | 0:05:47 | |
for impersonating a police officer, a fire chief and a Red Indian. | 0:05:47 | 0:05:52 | |
Make some noise and give a warm welcome, jailers and jailbirds, | 0:05:52 | 0:05:56 | |
to the Amazing Christopher! | 0:05:56 | 0:05:59 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:05:59 | 0:06:01 | |
DISCO BEAT PLAYS | 0:06:04 | 0:06:06 | |
# Body Wanna feel my Body | 0:06:12 | 0:06:16 | |
# Body Such a thrill, my body | 0:06:16 | 0:06:20 | |
# Body Wanna touch my body | 0:06:20 | 0:06:24 | |
# Body Check it out, my body. # | 0:06:24 | 0:06:27 | |
# Every man wants to be A macho, macho man | 0:06:27 | 0:06:31 | |
# To have the kinda body Always in demand. # | 0:06:31 | 0:06:35 | |
Hey! Hey! | 0:06:35 | 0:06:36 | |
Hey! Hey! Hey! | 0:06:36 | 0:06:39 | |
-# Macho, macho man -Macho man | 0:06:39 | 0:06:42 | |
# I've got to be A macho man | 0:06:42 | 0:06:46 | |
# Macho, macho man | 0:06:46 | 0:06:50 | |
# I've got to be A macho... # | 0:06:50 | 0:06:52 | |
Ow! | 0:06:52 | 0:06:54 | |
-# Macho, macho man -Yeah | 0:06:54 | 0:06:57 | |
# I've got to be a macho man | 0:06:57 | 0:07:01 | |
-# Macho, macho man -Hey, hey | 0:07:01 | 0:07:05 | |
# I've got to be a macho... # | 0:07:05 | 0:07:07 | |
NEW SONG BEGINS | 0:07:09 | 0:07:12 | |
AUDIENCE CLAPS ALONG | 0:07:12 | 0:07:14 | |
# Young man There's no need to feel down | 0:07:20 | 0:07:23 | |
# I said young man Pick yourself off the ground | 0:07:23 | 0:07:27 | |
# I said young man Cos you're in a new town | 0:07:27 | 0:07:31 | |
# There's no need to be unhappy | 0:07:31 | 0:07:35 | |
# It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A | 0:07:37 | 0:07:41 | |
# It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A | 0:07:41 | 0:07:46 | |
# They have everything for young men to enjoy | 0:07:46 | 0:07:50 | |
# You can hang out with all the boys | 0:07:50 | 0:07:52 | |
# It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A | 0:07:52 | 0:07:56 | |
# It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A | 0:07:56 | 0:08:01 | |
# You can get yourself cleaned You can have a good meal | 0:08:01 | 0:08:05 | |
# You can do whatever you feel | 0:08:05 | 0:08:09 | |
# It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A | 0:08:12 | 0:08:15 | |
# It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A | 0:08:15 | 0:08:19 | |
# Young man, young man There's no need to feel down | 0:08:20 | 0:08:24 | |
# Young man, young man Pick yourself off the ground | 0:08:24 | 0:08:28 | |
# Y-M-C-A! # | 0:08:28 | 0:08:31 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:08:31 | 0:08:32 | |
OK, give him a big hand, jailers and jailbirds! | 0:08:36 | 0:08:39 | |
The Amazing Christopher! | 0:08:39 | 0:08:41 | |
Which one was he?! | 0:08:41 | 0:08:43 | |
It's fun to stay at the YMCA but will he be staying here for longer? | 0:08:43 | 0:08:47 | |
Let's find out. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:49 | |
My wife Marjorie goes in for that sort of thing. I don't. | 0:08:49 | 0:08:52 | |
-What about you? -It was funny and very doolally. -Doolally? | 0:08:52 | 0:08:57 | |
-Like that word, doolally? -Yeah. Tripped off the tongue rather nicely. | 0:08:57 | 0:09:02 | |
-Say it again for me. -Doolally. | 0:09:02 | 0:09:04 | |
-And again. -Doolally. -Again. -Doolally. | 0:09:04 | 0:09:07 | |
-Think you're doolally? -No! -Am I? -Yes! -Thank you. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:10 | |
The Amazing Christopher. Was he amazing? | 0:09:10 | 0:09:14 | |
-It was awesome. He should go free. -He should go free? | 0:09:14 | 0:09:17 | |
-Should we let the other fellows free too? -Yeah, OK. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:21 | |
-Who's your favourite? -The middle one. | 0:09:21 | 0:09:24 | |
Yeah, he was a bit more animated. | 0:09:24 | 0:09:26 | |
-Miss, Y...? -It was... -..M-C-A! Oh! | 0:09:26 | 0:09:29 | |
It was really hilarious cos it was, like, outrageous. | 0:09:29 | 0:09:33 | |
The costumes were great and the puppets were lifelike. | 0:09:33 | 0:09:37 | |
When he moved they all moved in time. | 0:09:37 | 0:09:39 | |
One word. That's all I'm looking for. Miss? | 0:09:39 | 0:09:42 | |
-I enjoyed the music... -That's not one word, is it? | 0:09:42 | 0:09:46 | |
One word every week. You know the rules. | 0:09:46 | 0:09:48 | |
-Music. -Music, sir! | 0:09:48 | 0:09:51 | |
Will the Amazing Christopher dance out of the Slammer? | 0:09:51 | 0:09:56 | |
On to a cracking good act now. | 0:09:56 | 0:09:58 | |
They're serving three and a half years in the Shane Richie section | 0:09:58 | 0:10:02 | |
and are doing it for WHIPPING other people's acts. | 0:10:02 | 0:10:06 | |
Please welcome Duo Veslovsky! | 0:10:06 | 0:10:09 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:10:09 | 0:10:11 | |
MUSIC: "Cotton Eye Joe" by Rednex | 0:11:06 | 0:11:09 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:13:00 | 0:13:03 | |
Let's hear it for them! Take them away. My word! | 0:13:03 | 0:13:07 | |
Do not even think of trying that very dangerous act. | 0:13:07 | 0:13:11 | |
They've years of practice. | 0:13:11 | 0:13:13 | |
But will they spend years in the Slammer? | 0:13:13 | 0:13:16 | |
Let's have a WHIP round and see. | 0:13:16 | 0:13:18 | |
In the words of Annie Oakley, "Whip crack away, whip crack...away." | 0:13:18 | 0:13:23 | |
I like how they used the whips in different ways. | 0:13:23 | 0:13:27 | |
Like the other act, perfectly executed. | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
-Were they a CRACKING good act? -That was probably the best act I've seen, | 0:13:29 | 0:13:35 | |
because it was so dangerous and accurate. | 0:13:35 | 0:13:40 | |
-I think it's important to be accurate, don't you? -Yeah. | 0:13:40 | 0:13:43 | |
Or you'd end with a shorter nose than you started. | 0:13:43 | 0:13:47 | |
-Miss? -It was loud and exciting. | 0:13:47 | 0:13:50 | |
I liked it when she stood on his shoulders spinning the whip round. | 0:13:50 | 0:13:55 | |
-Have they paid their debt to society? -Yeah. | 0:13:55 | 0:13:57 | |
Tell us all about them. | 0:13:57 | 0:13:59 | |
It was entertaining cos the outfit was funky and funny. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:03 | |
One final word? | 0:14:03 | 0:14:04 | |
-Amazing. -Amazing, sir! | 0:14:04 | 0:14:06 | |
Whoa, will the whip crack aways be cracking away? | 0:14:06 | 0:14:10 | |
You will decide later on with the clap-o-meter. | 0:14:10 | 0:14:13 | |
On to a very unusual act. | 0:14:13 | 0:14:16 | |
-Whoa...! -I've never skated before, Melvin. What we gonna do? | 0:14:16 | 0:14:22 | |
-We'll have to make up some moves, we're on in a minute. -Like what?! | 0:14:22 | 0:14:26 | |
-Erm... I'll spin you around. -Spin, right. Spin. good. | 0:14:26 | 0:14:30 | |
-Oh, yeah. Great(!) Then I'll chuck up on your skates! -Oh, shut up! | 0:14:30 | 0:14:34 | |
Right, come on. Spin. Go. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:37 | |
Whoa... No, Melvin! | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
-Argh! -Argh! | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
Normally we don't have animal acts in the Slammer. | 0:14:41 | 0:14:44 | |
We make an exception for Gimbert. | 0:14:44 | 0:14:46 | |
We have a very unusual double act now... | 0:14:46 | 0:14:49 | |
BOTH: Argh...! | 0:14:49 | 0:14:50 | |
A gentleman back to the old circus days, | 0:14:50 | 0:14:53 | |
and a bear but not a normal bear, | 0:14:53 | 0:14:55 | |
called Grim Baldy and the Bear. | 0:14:55 | 0:14:57 | |
ALARM BELLS RING | 0:14:57 | 0:14:59 | |
BOTH: Whoa! Argh! | 0:14:59 | 0:15:02 | |
CLANG! | 0:15:02 | 0:15:04 | |
BIRDS TWEET | 0:15:04 | 0:15:06 | |
That's one way. | 0:15:06 | 0:15:08 | |
They're serving four and a half years in the Les Dawson section | 0:15:08 | 0:15:12 | |
and they're doing it, jailers and jailbirds, | 0:15:12 | 0:15:16 | |
as Grim Baldy and the Bear! | 0:15:16 | 0:15:18 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:15:18 | 0:15:21 | |
Rargh! Grrr! | 0:15:27 | 0:15:30 | |
Rargh! Rargh! | 0:15:33 | 0:15:36 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, I am the great Grim Baldy. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:42 | |
Trapped within this cage lies Bruin The Brutal, | 0:15:44 | 0:15:48 | |
the amazing performing bear. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:51 | |
See as the savage beast is tamed by the sweet power of music. | 0:15:51 | 0:15:56 | |
Forth, Bruin, forth! | 0:15:56 | 0:15:58 | |
Rargh! Rargh! Grrr! | 0:15:58 | 0:16:02 | |
Pick a card, any card. | 0:16:02 | 0:16:04 | |
Don't show me. That's it. Lovely. | 0:16:06 | 0:16:09 | |
Now look at it and show it to people but don't show Bruin. | 0:16:09 | 0:16:13 | |
What are you doing?! | 0:16:13 | 0:16:16 | |
I'm a performing bear. | 0:16:16 | 0:16:17 | |
Now just put it back in the pack... | 0:16:17 | 0:16:20 | |
-Don't show me. Anywhere you like. Put it back. -But... But... | 0:16:20 | 0:16:24 | |
They want to see a dancing bear! Dance for them! | 0:16:24 | 0:16:27 | |
I just thought it could be better. You know, Freedom Show day... | 0:16:27 | 0:16:32 | |
Your card will magically appear! | 0:16:32 | 0:16:34 | |
-Back in the box! -It'll be brilliant, you'll love it! | 0:16:34 | 0:16:38 | |
..or no more honey! | 0:16:38 | 0:16:39 | |
No more honey? | 0:16:43 | 0:16:44 | |
GIGGLING | 0:16:44 | 0:16:46 | |
-AUDIENCE: Aw! | 0:16:46 | 0:16:48 | |
-Don't pander to him! -I'm not a panda! I'm a bear! -Get in there! | 0:16:49 | 0:16:54 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, Bruin the dancing bear. | 0:16:54 | 0:16:58 | |
Rargh! Rargh! | 0:16:58 | 0:17:02 | |
Grrr! | 0:17:02 | 0:17:03 | |
What?! What?! | 0:17:03 | 0:17:05 | |
Oh, yes, you've got the idea now! | 0:17:05 | 0:17:08 | |
Oh, you're cutting some funky shapes, yes! | 0:17:08 | 0:17:11 | |
Show them your stuff! Oooh! | 0:17:11 | 0:17:13 | |
Oh, yes! MC Bruin takes it to the max. | 0:17:13 | 0:17:17 | |
Show them your bare chest. | 0:17:17 | 0:17:19 | |
-That's my BEAR chest! -One for the ladies there! | 0:17:19 | 0:17:23 | |
Fantastic, you great clumsy oaf! | 0:17:23 | 0:17:25 | |
-You look ridiculous! -May I have this dance? -Of course! | 0:17:25 | 0:17:29 | |
Whoa! Ooh... | 0:17:29 | 0:17:30 | |
Argh! | 0:17:30 | 0:17:31 | |
CLANG! | 0:17:31 | 0:17:32 | |
-Oh, I'm stuck! -Yeah? How do you like it? | 0:17:32 | 0:17:35 | |
Now, where was I? | 0:17:35 | 0:17:37 | |
Do you remember your card? Don't tell me! Don't tell me! | 0:17:37 | 0:17:42 | |
Was that your card? | 0:17:42 | 0:17:44 | |
The two of pants...bums....clubs! Two of clubs! | 0:17:44 | 0:17:47 | |
Argh! POP! | 0:17:47 | 0:17:49 | |
Now, pull your pants up! You look ridiculous. | 0:17:49 | 0:17:53 | |
You're embarrassing us. | 0:17:53 | 0:17:55 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, I be Bruin, the amazing performing bear. | 0:17:55 | 0:17:59 | |
This has been Grim Baldy. Good night! | 0:17:59 | 0:18:02 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:18:02 | 0:18:04 | |
Just thought I'd get in a jail cell to see what it's like. | 0:18:04 | 0:18:09 | |
Ooh. I don't know, what did you think? | 0:18:09 | 0:18:12 | |
We should give them six months for being BEAR in a public place! | 0:18:12 | 0:18:16 | |
Mr Burgess, over to you. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:18 | |
Was that quality comedy entertainment or just two grown men mucking about? | 0:18:18 | 0:18:24 | |
The performance was unusual. | 0:18:24 | 0:18:26 | |
-In what way, sir? Unusual unfunny? -Yes. -So, keep 'em in? -Yes. | 0:18:26 | 0:18:31 | |
-Extend their sentence, sir? -Yes, to 300 years. | 0:18:31 | 0:18:34 | |
-300 years?! -Yes. -A bit harsh but I like your style, sir! | 0:18:34 | 0:18:38 | |
Did you like Grim Baldy and the Bear? | 0:18:38 | 0:18:41 | |
I liked when he got his head stuck in the bars. | 0:18:41 | 0:18:45 | |
-Did you find that hilarious and entertaining, miss? -Yes. | 0:18:45 | 0:18:49 | |
I liked when he showed his pants at the end. It was funny. | 0:18:49 | 0:18:52 | |
Sum that act up in one final word, miss. | 0:18:52 | 0:18:55 | |
-Fantastic! -Fantastic, sir. | 0:18:55 | 0:18:58 | |
Will Grim Baldy and the Bear be going free, who knows? | 0:18:58 | 0:19:02 | |
Now a change to the programme here. | 0:19:02 | 0:19:04 | |
Something a bit unusual here in the Slammer. | 0:19:04 | 0:19:07 | |
You know we've got some marvellous performing prisoners... | 0:19:07 | 0:19:11 | |
A prob... A problem? | 0:19:11 | 0:19:13 | |
We've got a small technical problem, jailers and jailbirds. | 0:19:13 | 0:19:17 | |
While I sort things out, a little musical interlude now. | 0:19:17 | 0:19:21 | |
At the organ, yes, there we are. The magical genius of Gimbert. | 0:19:21 | 0:19:26 | |
Play something they like. Right... | 0:19:26 | 0:19:28 | |
GIMBERT PLAYS ORGAN | 0:19:28 | 0:19:31 | |
Keep playing! | 0:19:31 | 0:19:33 | |
Attention everyone...whoa, stairs... | 0:19:37 | 0:19:39 | |
We've had a slight problem with one of the acts. | 0:19:39 | 0:19:43 | |
Can any of you do an eye-popping, death defying roller-skating act? | 0:19:43 | 0:19:48 | |
You? Again?! All right. Get your skates on! | 0:19:48 | 0:19:52 | |
Skates on, haha! | 0:19:52 | 0:19:53 | |
All right. Gimbert...yeah. | 0:19:56 | 0:19:58 | |
You can stop now. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:00 | |
Gimbert...shut up and get off! | 0:20:00 | 0:20:02 | |
Go on, take that with you! Clear off! | 0:20:02 | 0:20:04 | |
Thank you very much! | 0:20:04 | 0:20:07 | |
Now for the first time, a very special event, | 0:20:07 | 0:20:10 | |
a chance for a performing prisoner to appear twice. | 0:20:10 | 0:20:13 | |
You saw them cracking the whip, | 0:20:13 | 0:20:16 | |
this time they're getting on their skates. | 0:20:16 | 0:20:19 | |
Please welcome the roller-skating Veslovskis! | 0:20:19 | 0:20:22 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:20:22 | 0:20:24 | |
DANCE MUSIC PLAYS | 0:20:27 | 0:20:30 | |
CHEERING | 0:21:15 | 0:21:16 | |
CHEERING | 0:21:33 | 0:21:34 | |
CHEERING | 0:21:58 | 0:21:59 | |
CHEERING | 0:22:40 | 0:22:42 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:22:45 | 0:22:47 | |
Oh, wonderful! | 0:22:47 | 0:22:49 | |
There we are! Give 'em a chance there! | 0:22:49 | 0:22:53 | |
Give 'em a big round of applause, jailers and jailbirds! | 0:22:53 | 0:22:57 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:22:57 | 0:22:59 | |
Most importantly, do not try that even if you've got your own skates! | 0:22:59 | 0:23:04 | |
They've practised for years. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:06 | |
After that wonderful performance, will it be a case of, | 0:23:06 | 0:23:09 | |
from the Slammer, clear off-ski to Veslovski | 0:23:09 | 0:23:13 | |
or will it be "Sorry, mate. You weren't that great!" | 0:23:13 | 0:23:16 | |
We'll find out with Mr Burgess. | 0:23:16 | 0:23:18 | |
Right then, miss. Your thoughts on that act? | 0:23:18 | 0:23:22 | |
It was amazing! I liked the lifts cos they were daring and good. | 0:23:22 | 0:23:26 | |
-Enough danger for you, miss? -Yeah. | 0:23:26 | 0:23:29 | |
-Would you like to see more danger? -No, I think it was good as it was. | 0:23:29 | 0:23:34 | |
-They got the danger just right? -Yeah. | 0:23:34 | 0:23:36 | |
-I got dizzy just watching that act, did you? -Amazing, the best one yet. | 0:23:36 | 0:23:41 | |
It's great how they skate so fast swinging round at the same time. | 0:23:41 | 0:23:46 | |
-You gave it a score? -Ten out of ten. | 0:23:46 | 0:23:47 | |
-They're skating free? -Yeah. | 0:23:47 | 0:23:49 | |
What about you, miss? | 0:23:49 | 0:23:51 | |
To do just one act and execute it perfectly is brill | 0:23:51 | 0:23:56 | |
but to do two and make them both amazing is really hard. | 0:23:56 | 0:24:00 | |
They are performing twice. They'll get your vote? | 0:24:00 | 0:24:04 | |
-Definitely. -For the roller-skating, not the whipping? -Yes. | 0:24:04 | 0:24:08 | |
Right. | 0:24:08 | 0:24:10 | |
Just the one... | 0:24:10 | 0:24:12 | |
..on my say so... | 0:24:12 | 0:24:14 | |
Eyes front and centre. | 0:24:14 | 0:24:16 | |
Are you ready? | 0:24:17 | 0:24:19 | |
-Go! -Immense. | 0:24:19 | 0:24:21 | |
Immense, sir! | 0:24:21 | 0:24:24 | |
Ooh. Weren't they all good? Marvellous. | 0:24:24 | 0:24:27 | |
Now, jailers and jailbirds, it's time welcome them back... | 0:24:27 | 0:24:32 | |
all the performing prisoners! | 0:24:32 | 0:24:34 | |
CHEERING | 0:24:34 | 0:24:35 | |
The Amazing Christopher... | 0:24:35 | 0:24:38 | |
Duo Veslovski... | 0:24:38 | 0:24:39 | |
Grim Baldy and the Bear... | 0:24:39 | 0:24:42 | |
and the roller-skating stars. Well! | 0:24:42 | 0:24:45 | |
Ooh. A little unusual this week | 0:24:45 | 0:24:47 | |
but only one act can go free from the Slammer, | 0:24:47 | 0:24:50 | |
their debt to society and showbusiness paid. | 0:24:50 | 0:24:54 | |
But who will it be? We will find out with the aid of this. | 0:24:54 | 0:24:58 | |
The Clap-o-meter. | 0:24:58 | 0:25:00 | |
The louder the noise you make, the higher the score. | 0:25:00 | 0:25:04 | |
The highest score goes free. | 0:25:04 | 0:25:06 | |
Who will it be? First you saw him and his friends. | 0:25:06 | 0:25:09 | |
I'm sure you'll give him a great, big welcome | 0:25:09 | 0:25:13 | |
as you make some noise for the Amazing Christopher! | 0:25:13 | 0:25:17 | |
CHEERING | 0:25:17 | 0:25:18 | |
Ooh, look at that score! 83.6 | 0:25:23 | 0:25:25 | |
Wonderful. You didn't have many reservations about him, did you? | 0:25:25 | 0:25:31 | |
Anyway, we move on now to a sensational whip-cracking act. | 0:25:31 | 0:25:35 | |
They were wonderful. Do you think so? | 0:25:35 | 0:25:38 | |
Give it up and make some noise for the Duo Veslovski! | 0:25:38 | 0:25:42 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:25:42 | 0:25:45 | |
Oh! Look at the score... Great scoring here! | 0:25:47 | 0:25:50 | |
Cracking good stuff. 86...oh, they're in the lead! | 0:25:50 | 0:25:54 | |
They're in the lead, 86.3 | 0:25:54 | 0:25:56 | |
Right. At the moment they'll be going free. | 0:25:56 | 0:25:59 | |
But who will it be next? | 0:25:59 | 0:26:01 | |
I've never seen an act quite as nutty as this. Did you enjoy them? | 0:26:01 | 0:26:05 | |
Grim Baldy and the Bear! | 0:26:05 | 0:26:07 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:26:07 | 0:26:09 | |
Oh, it's just 76.4 | 0:26:13 | 0:26:15 | |
Well, you can have some honey on your porridge when you stay with us. | 0:26:15 | 0:26:20 | |
For the first time we allowed someone to have another go | 0:26:20 | 0:26:24 | |
because of problems with Melvin and Peter. | 0:26:24 | 0:26:27 | |
They were sensational, they stepped in at the last minute. | 0:26:27 | 0:26:31 | |
What did you think of the Veslovski Rollerskaters? | 0:26:31 | 0:26:35 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:26:35 | 0:26:36 | |
Oh, wow! They've blown us away! | 0:26:36 | 0:26:39 | |
Whoa, it's blown us away there! Sensational score. Look at that! | 0:26:39 | 0:26:43 | |
92.8. That means, they're going free! They're going free! | 0:26:43 | 0:26:48 | |
Give them a big cheer! Off you go then, you're free to go! | 0:26:48 | 0:26:52 | |
Give them a big round of applause jailers and jailbirds! Yes. | 0:26:52 | 0:26:57 | |
It means the rest of them are staying with us | 0:26:57 | 0:27:00 | |
but the good news is, you can have supper. | 0:27:00 | 0:27:03 | |
-Oh, Mr Burgess. What's for supper? -Chef's written it down for me, sir. | 0:27:03 | 0:27:07 | |
-Sloppy, ploppy porridge, sir! -Not again! | 0:27:07 | 0:27:11 | |
We'll see you again soon for more fun on the Slammer. | 0:27:11 | 0:27:14 | |
From all the gang, bye-bye, everybody. Bye! | 0:27:14 | 0:27:18 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:27:18 | 0:27:20 | |
Subtitles by Ross Mills Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:27:26 | 0:27:29 | |
E-mail [email protected] | 0:27:29 | 0:27:32 | |
WHIP! | 0:27:49 | 0:27:51 | |
Now that's what I call WHIPPED cream! | 0:27:51 | 0:27:54 |