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'Dear Mum, there were some brilliant acts on The Freedom Show today. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:06 | |
'The audience were amazed.' | 0:00:06 | 0:00:09 | |
AUDIENCE: Oh! | 0:00:09 | 0:00:11 | |
'The acts were spectacular... | 0:00:11 | 0:00:13 | |
'..and like nothing I've ever seen before. | 0:00:13 | 0:00:18 | |
'Wish you were here but then you're not a showbiz criminal, | 0:00:18 | 0:00:22 | |
'so you're not here... Love Pete.' | 0:00:22 | 0:00:25 | |
SOMEONE ELSE RETCHING | 0:00:25 | 0:00:27 | |
Shut up, Melv. | 0:00:27 | 0:00:29 | |
'PS, Melv is really annoying me. | 0:00:29 | 0:00:32 | |
'Something well weird has happened to him. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:35 | |
MELV YOWLS | 0:00:35 | 0:00:37 | |
# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime | 0:00:40 | 0:00:45 | |
# So welcome to The Slammer where you're going to serve your time | 0:00:45 | 0:00:50 | |
# With every type of minstrel, entertainer and artiste | 0:00:50 | 0:00:54 | |
# Performing to the limit to try and get released | 0:00:54 | 0:00:59 | |
# So go and fetch the audience, bring them to the Slammer | 0:00:59 | 0:01:03 | |
# And polish up your act, with a bit of glitz and glamour | 0:01:03 | 0:01:07 | |
# Your fate is in their hands, so make them cheer and clamour | 0:01:07 | 0:01:11 | |
# It's the only way you'll ever leave the Slammer | 0:01:11 | 0:01:16 | |
# It's the only way you'll ever leave the Slammer! # | 0:01:16 | 0:01:21 | |
Wayne was dressed as a giant sausage - then I woke up. Hee-hee! | 0:01:21 | 0:01:26 | |
What did you dream about, Melv? | 0:01:26 | 0:01:29 | |
Melv? | 0:01:29 | 0:01:30 | |
Um... Pete? | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
Yes, Melv. | 0:01:32 | 0:01:34 | |
Could you come up here for a minute please? | 0:01:34 | 0:01:36 | |
Arghhh! | 0:01:38 | 0:01:40 | |
BOTH SCREAM | 0:01:40 | 0:01:43 | |
I tell you what, Frank. With acts like this | 0:01:49 | 0:01:52 | |
today's Freedom Show will be a cracker. | 0:01:52 | 0:01:54 | |
I'll take your word for it. | 0:01:54 | 0:01:56 | |
We've got Flaming Fun. Can you say that? | 0:01:56 | 0:01:58 | |
Duelling Sabres. | 0:02:00 | 0:02:01 | |
Christian Lee. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:05 | |
AUDIENCE: Oh! | 0:02:07 | 0:02:09 | |
And Betty Brawn, the strong lady. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:11 | |
Huh! Strong lady, sir? | 0:02:11 | 0:02:13 | |
All right. I take it back. Put me down. | 0:02:14 | 0:02:16 | |
(Where did she come from?) | 0:02:16 | 0:02:19 | |
Guv, Guv, something terrible has happened. | 0:02:19 | 0:02:22 | |
I've turned into a puppet! | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
Do you really expect us to believe that that thing is Melvin Odoom? | 0:02:28 | 0:02:32 | |
A likely story, lad! | 0:02:32 | 0:02:34 | |
It's true, Mr Burgess. Just look at this. | 0:02:34 | 0:02:37 | |
# Don't stop till you get enough. # | 0:02:37 | 0:02:39 | |
Blimey, it is him, sir. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:41 | |
Course it is. Even as a puppet I've still got the moves, right Mr B? | 0:02:41 | 0:02:45 | |
Oh dear, not another one! Gimbert, open the stationery cupboard. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:48 | |
Guv, did you hear what I just said? Melvin's turned into a puppet. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:54 | |
Yes, yes, yes. It happens. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:56 | |
What do you mean, "It happens"? | 0:02:56 | 0:02:58 | |
VOICES CLAMOUR | 0:02:58 | 0:03:00 | |
-Melvin! -Throw 'em a pasty! | 0:03:00 | 0:03:03 | |
VOICES SILENCED | 0:03:05 | 0:03:06 | |
Seeing as it's you he doesn't have to go in there. | 0:03:06 | 0:03:09 | |
You can take Melvin back to your cell, | 0:03:09 | 0:03:12 | |
but you must look after him. | 0:03:12 | 0:03:14 | |
Don't worry, I will. | 0:03:14 | 0:03:15 | |
-Come on, Melv. -MELVIN WHIMPERS | 0:03:15 | 0:03:18 | |
-COMPUTER BEEPS -An e-mail coming through. | 0:03:18 | 0:03:20 | |
Third one this week. Must be a rush on. | 0:03:20 | 0:03:22 | |
Ooh! "The Ministry of Prisons Entertainment Division," | 0:03:22 | 0:03:27 | |
-that's us... -Sir! | 0:03:27 | 0:03:29 | |
"..demand that one more act be added to The Freedom Show | 0:03:29 | 0:03:34 | |
"with immediate effect." | 0:03:34 | 0:03:36 | |
Oh, Frank! It can't be done! | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
All right, now just calm down, sir. Deep breaths. | 0:03:38 | 0:03:41 | |
The paperwork. W-W-We'll never find another actor at such short notice! | 0:03:41 | 0:03:45 | |
-Deal Or No Deal's on in a minute! -You've got a lot on your plate. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:49 | |
Never mind about that now. Let's focus on the problem in hand. | 0:03:51 | 0:03:56 | |
It's almost showtime. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:57 | |
Well there... is one other option, sir. | 0:03:57 | 0:04:02 | |
Oh, no, don't say it, Frank. | 0:04:02 | 0:04:05 | |
Well, we could give one of those prisoners a chance, sir. | 0:04:05 | 0:04:09 | |
No, no. I will not have one of those prisoners | 0:04:09 | 0:04:12 | |
on one of my Freedom Shows. I will not have it. | 0:04:12 | 0:04:14 | |
-I'll say it again, SIR! -Yes! -SIR! | 0:04:14 | 0:04:16 | |
Think about it, sir. What would Noel Edmonds do in this situation? | 0:04:16 | 0:04:20 | |
-You're right, Frank. Make the necessary arrangements. -Sir! | 0:04:20 | 0:04:24 | |
And prepare to backcomb my hair. | 0:04:24 | 0:04:27 | |
It's no good, Pete. I can't stand it. I'm meant to be cool, | 0:04:29 | 0:04:32 | |
-not a cross between Pinocchio and a rubber glove! -Melv. | 0:04:32 | 0:04:35 | |
Sorry, Pete, but I've got to break out of here. | 0:04:35 | 0:04:39 | |
I've got to find a cure for this. | 0:04:39 | 0:04:41 | |
You're my best mate and there's nothing wrong with being a puppet. | 0:04:41 | 0:04:45 | |
Absolutely right! | 0:04:45 | 0:04:47 | |
But I'll help in any way I can. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:49 | |
Thanks, mate. In that case I've got a plan. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:52 | |
We've got to wait until showtime, when everyone's distracted. | 0:04:52 | 0:04:56 | |
HE WHISPERS | 0:04:56 | 0:04:58 | |
Fifth act! It's ridiculous. | 0:05:01 | 0:05:03 | |
It'll ruin the whole show. | 0:05:03 | 0:05:05 | |
DISTANT CHEERING | 0:05:05 | 0:05:07 | |
-Sir. -Oh, is it done. Frank? | 0:05:07 | 0:05:09 | |
Yes, sir. It wasn't pleasant though, sir. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:12 | |
-Some of those acts - eugh! -I know, Frank, but we had no choice. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:17 | |
Anyway, it's almost showtime. How do I look? | 0:05:17 | 0:05:20 | |
BOTH: Divine, sir! | 0:05:20 | 0:05:21 | |
Thank you very much. In that case it's Deal Or No... | 0:05:21 | 0:05:24 | |
-Ah! -Yep. It's showtime! | 0:05:24 | 0:05:28 | |
It's showtime. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:33 | |
'Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HMP Slammer | 0:05:33 | 0:05:38 | |
'where you decide which prisoner is to be released. | 0:05:38 | 0:05:42 | |
'Now please welcome your host. He's the keeper of the keys, | 0:05:42 | 0:05:46 | |
'so put your hands together please for the Governor.' | 0:05:46 | 0:05:51 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:05:51 | 0:05:53 | |
Who's the Governor? | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
ALL: You are! | 0:06:08 | 0:06:10 | |
Are we going to have fun today on the Slammer? Yes? | 0:06:10 | 0:06:13 | |
ALL: Yes! | 0:06:13 | 0:06:14 | |
Remember, little jailers and jailbirds, | 0:06:14 | 0:06:17 | |
you are the ones who decide which of the acts go free. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:19 | |
Four performing prisoners to see and and a very special bonus act as well | 0:06:19 | 0:06:24 | |
here on the Freedom Show. So, on with our first act. | 0:06:24 | 0:06:29 | |
I thought Mr Burgess had started the Slammer barbeque | 0:06:29 | 0:06:32 | |
a bit earlier on there, cos this first act are hot stuff. | 0:06:32 | 0:06:35 | |
Jailers and jailbirds, will you please welcome your first act. | 0:06:35 | 0:06:39 | |
It is Flaming Fun. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:42 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:06:42 | 0:06:44 | |
TECHNO STYLE MUSIC | 0:06:52 | 0:06:55 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:07:42 | 0:07:44 | |
LATIN STYLE DANCE MUSIC | 0:07:54 | 0:07:58 | |
# Happiness and joy | 0:08:13 | 0:08:15 | |
# Happiness and joy | 0:08:16 | 0:08:18 | |
# Happiness and joy | 0:08:21 | 0:08:23 | |
# Happiness and joy | 0:08:24 | 0:08:26 | |
# Happiness and joy | 0:08:28 | 0:08:30 | |
# Happiness and joy. # | 0:08:32 | 0:08:34 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:08:34 | 0:08:36 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:08:36 | 0:08:38 | |
Oh, there they are. | 0:08:40 | 0:08:42 | |
Wonderful. Flaming Fun, weren't they good? | 0:08:42 | 0:08:45 | |
Don't let me catch any of you playing with fire. | 0:08:45 | 0:08:48 | |
I remember Gimbert went out with a fire eater once. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:51 | |
He kissed her goodnight, she burnt all his eyebrows off. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:55 | |
You'll be deciding at the end of the show who goes free, | 0:08:55 | 0:08:59 | |
which prisoners go free from The Slammer. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:01 | |
It's up to you to decide. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:03 | |
What did you think of our first performing prisoners? | 0:09:03 | 0:09:07 | |
Let's find out with Mr Burgess. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
Well, Flaming Fun there. | 0:09:09 | 0:09:11 | |
But were they heart-stopping or heartburns? | 0:09:11 | 0:09:15 | |
They were flame-tastic! | 0:09:15 | 0:09:17 | |
And they used their skill very well | 0:09:17 | 0:09:20 | |
and they impressed the crowd. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:22 | |
What did you think of them? | 0:09:22 | 0:09:23 | |
Er...it was OK. | 0:09:23 | 0:09:26 | |
But I haven't seen the other acts yet, so I don't know. | 0:09:26 | 0:09:30 | |
Ooh, you're cautious, aren't you? | 0:09:30 | 0:09:32 | |
What about you, sir? | 0:09:32 | 0:09:33 | |
I think they were flaming hot, like, wow! | 0:09:33 | 0:09:36 | |
"Flaming hot, like, wow"? | 0:09:36 | 0:09:38 | |
Yes. | 0:09:38 | 0:09:39 | |
I thought it was really amazing and basically perfect. | 0:09:39 | 0:09:43 | |
-Sum that act up for me, sir, with one word. -Spectacular! | 0:09:43 | 0:09:47 | |
Spectacular, sir! Thank you, sir. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:50 | |
I can't leave without the others. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
Look! He's got a picture of Noel Edmonds. | 0:09:55 | 0:09:58 | |
Wow! Sorry. | 0:09:58 | 0:10:01 | |
MOANING AND HOWLING | 0:10:01 | 0:10:04 | |
SHOUTING AND ROARING | 0:10:07 | 0:10:10 | |
Shhhhh! | 0:10:10 | 0:10:12 | |
What's that noise? Sorry about this. | 0:10:12 | 0:10:14 | |
-Gimbert, go and see what's going on. -OK, uncle. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:17 | |
As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
our next prisoner is a marvellous strong lady, | 0:10:20 | 0:10:23 | |
please welcome Betty Brawn! | 0:10:23 | 0:10:26 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:10:26 | 0:10:31 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:11:23 | 0:11:25 | |
My word, what an experience to see Mr Burgess picked... | 0:13:10 | 0:13:14 | |
He hasn't been picked up by anyone in a long time. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:17 | |
That's right, sir. | 0:13:17 | 0:13:19 | |
Hello! Hello? | 0:13:21 | 0:13:23 | |
What did you think of Betty Brawn? | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
Mr Burgess, have you recovered? | 0:13:29 | 0:13:32 | |
Well, Betty Brawn there. Where do you stand on strong women, sir? | 0:13:32 | 0:13:36 | |
It's the first time in my life I've seen a woman pick up a man. | 0:13:36 | 0:13:41 | |
Really? There are places you can see that all over the country. | 0:13:41 | 0:13:45 | |
But that's another story. | 0:13:45 | 0:13:47 | |
What was the best part of her act? | 0:13:47 | 0:13:49 | |
Tearing the book in half. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:50 | |
I could tear a book in half, as long as I do each page one by one. | 0:13:50 | 0:13:54 | |
I think I could probably do that as well. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:57 | |
Sum that act up for us in one word, sir. | 0:13:57 | 0:14:00 | |
-Strong! -Strong, sir. | 0:14:00 | 0:14:02 | |
Yes, the department of prisons, entertainment section, | 0:14:09 | 0:14:13 | |
have decided in their wisdom that we've got to have a new act. | 0:14:13 | 0:14:17 | |
It's the solitary confinement act. | 0:14:17 | 0:14:19 | |
Solitary confinement, that's where we keep the prisoners | 0:14:19 | 0:14:23 | |
who are too awful to be seen and kept with other prisoners, | 0:14:23 | 0:14:27 | |
and they stay in solitary confinement. | 0:14:27 | 0:14:30 | |
But they have the chance to perform. | 0:14:30 | 0:14:32 | |
If they get the thumbs up, they go into a nice cell | 0:14:32 | 0:14:35 | |
with cocoa every night and real toilet paper. | 0:14:35 | 0:14:38 | |
But if they get thumbs down, it's back to solitary confinement | 0:14:38 | 0:14:42 | |
and a cruel and unusual punishment. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:45 | |
Mr Burgess, what is today's cruel and unusual punishment? | 0:14:45 | 0:14:48 | |
-Today, sir, it's being tickled until their heads drop off. -Fair enough! | 0:14:50 | 0:14:55 | |
Right, so that's solitary confinement. | 0:14:55 | 0:14:58 | |
But we need a judge. Who would like to be the judge? | 0:14:58 | 0:15:01 | |
Lots of hands going up. Mr Burgess? | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
What about you, young lady? Would you like to be the judge for us? | 0:15:03 | 0:15:07 | |
Give her a hand! | 0:15:07 | 0:15:08 | |
Here comes the judge. Hello, judge. | 0:15:08 | 0:15:11 | |
-What's your name? -Rachel. | 0:15:11 | 0:15:13 | |
Rachel, you've got to decide. Can you do that with your thumb? | 0:15:13 | 0:15:17 | |
Start in the middle. If you like them, up. | 0:15:17 | 0:15:20 | |
If you don't, down. | 0:15:20 | 0:15:22 | |
Well, we're ready to do it. | 0:15:22 | 0:15:24 | |
Please bring on today's act from solitary confinement. | 0:15:24 | 0:15:28 | |
# Keep young and beautiful | 0:15:36 | 0:15:39 | |
# It's your duty to be beautiful | 0:15:39 | 0:15:42 | |
# Keep out of the winter storm | 0:15:42 | 0:15:45 | |
# If you want to be loved... # | 0:15:45 | 0:15:48 | |
FARTING NOISES | 0:15:52 | 0:15:57 | |
FARTING NOISES CONTINUE | 0:16:00 | 0:16:04 | |
NOISES CONTINUE AND GET LOUDER | 0:16:15 | 0:16:20 | |
Come on then, can we have some applause? | 0:16:25 | 0:16:28 | |
Well, I don't know about you, | 0:16:28 | 0:16:31 | |
it's no wonder they're in solitary confinement. | 0:16:31 | 0:16:34 | |
Thumbs up, and it's living like a toff. | 0:16:34 | 0:16:37 | |
Thumbs down, their heads drop off. | 0:16:37 | 0:16:39 | |
Rachel, it's all up to you. Get that thumb out. | 0:16:39 | 0:16:42 | |
You've got five seconds to decide. Here we go. | 0:16:42 | 0:16:45 | |
It's up, yes! | 0:16:47 | 0:16:49 | |
Take them back to the nice cell! | 0:16:49 | 0:16:52 | |
Give them a round of applause, and Rachel as well. | 0:16:52 | 0:16:55 | |
Marvellous. | 0:16:55 | 0:16:57 | |
Wonderful. | 0:16:57 | 0:16:59 | |
Right, on to our next performing prisoner, he's a magician. | 0:16:59 | 0:17:03 | |
He's mystical, he's magical, he's hoping to go free. | 0:17:03 | 0:17:06 | |
Will he be? It's up to you to decide. | 0:17:06 | 0:17:09 | |
After you've experienced the mystical magic of Christian Lee! | 0:17:09 | 0:17:13 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:17:18 | 0:17:20 | |
AUDIENCE: Ah! | 0:18:13 | 0:18:14 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:18:14 | 0:18:17 | |
AUDIENCE: Ah! | 0:19:27 | 0:19:29 | |
How do they do that? Let's ask Mr Burgess. | 0:19:39 | 0:19:42 | |
Well, we've got a breakfast cereal that can turn the milk chocolatey | 0:19:42 | 0:19:47 | |
but how did he do that? | 0:19:47 | 0:19:49 | |
I'm not quite sure really. | 0:19:49 | 0:19:51 | |
-You don't know. Do you know, Miss? -No. | 0:19:51 | 0:19:53 | |
-You haven't got a clue? Do you know? -No. -Do you know? -No. | 0:19:53 | 0:19:56 | |
What was the best bit about it? | 0:19:56 | 0:19:57 | |
When he drew the bowling ball | 0:19:57 | 0:20:00 | |
and then the page opened a little bit and out came it. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:05 | |
Looks like I've got a bowling ball stuffed down my shirt, doesn't it? | 0:20:05 | 0:20:09 | |
One final word, sum that act up. Sir! | 0:20:09 | 0:20:12 | |
-Fablemo. -Fablemo, sir! | 0:20:12 | 0:20:15 | |
Friends, puppets, countrymen... | 0:20:16 | 0:20:20 | |
I have a dream, that one day all puppets will escape | 0:20:20 | 0:20:23 | |
from HMP Slammer and search for a cure for their puppety-ness. | 0:20:23 | 0:20:29 | |
And that day is today. I invite each and every one of you to join me. | 0:20:29 | 0:20:34 | |
I may have the body of a weak and feeble puppet | 0:20:34 | 0:20:37 | |
but I have the heart and stomach of a relatively normal-sized man! | 0:20:37 | 0:20:42 | |
ALL: Yeah! | 0:20:42 | 0:20:44 | |
Let's do this! | 0:20:44 | 0:20:45 | |
-Go on. -Bye bye. -Good luck. | 0:20:46 | 0:20:49 | |
Bye bye, Mrs Eggs. | 0:20:49 | 0:20:51 | |
Bye, Nurse Ratchet. Look! | 0:20:53 | 0:20:55 | |
Just one more performing prisoner act to see. | 0:20:55 | 0:20:58 | |
-Have you enjoyed them so far? Yes? -AUDIENCE: Yes! | 0:20:58 | 0:21:01 | |
Will this be the act that goes free? Well, they're Duelling Sabres. | 0:21:01 | 0:21:06 | |
May the force be with you. | 0:21:06 | 0:21:08 | |
The force was with them, the police force. They nicked them sabres | 0:21:08 | 0:21:11 | |
but they're a marvellous performing prisoner act. | 0:21:11 | 0:21:14 | |
Please show your appreciation for the Duelling Sabres. | 0:21:14 | 0:21:18 | |
AUDIENCE: Ah! | 0:22:02 | 0:22:04 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:23:18 | 0:23:20 | |
That Darth Vader chap, where has he gone? | 0:23:23 | 0:23:26 | |
Give them a round of applause! | 0:23:26 | 0:23:29 | |
Ooh, he's there? He's everywhere. | 0:23:29 | 0:23:31 | |
I'm nervous now. | 0:23:31 | 0:23:32 | |
Ooh, he's there. He's creeping up on me. | 0:23:32 | 0:23:35 | |
Looks like Mr Burgess on a bad day. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:37 | |
But what did you think of the Duelling Sabres? | 0:23:38 | 0:23:41 | |
Let's find out, with Mr Burgess. | 0:23:41 | 0:23:44 | |
Right, well, bringing the excitement of Star Wars to us there. | 0:23:44 | 0:23:49 | |
-What did you think of that, sir? -Fighting, I live fighting. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:53 | |
-You like fighting. -Yeah. -Do you go out on a Friday night | 0:23:53 | 0:23:56 | |
-looking for it, sir? -Yeah! | 0:23:56 | 0:23:57 | |
-Did you enjoy it? -I actually think it was quite amazing | 0:23:57 | 0:24:01 | |
because of the way their swords were flinging | 0:24:01 | 0:24:04 | |
and little stuff was coming apart, kind of, from the thing. | 0:24:04 | 0:24:07 | |
-And you like Darth Vader? -Yeah. | 0:24:07 | 0:24:09 | |
-Can you do an impression of him? -HE BREATHS DEEPLY | 0:24:09 | 0:24:13 | |
That's a bad chest you've got there, Darth, very good. | 0:24:13 | 0:24:16 | |
And for one final word - face your front, sir - | 0:24:16 | 0:24:19 | |
sum that act up! | 0:24:19 | 0:24:22 | |
-Sabretastic! -Sabretastic, sir! | 0:24:22 | 0:24:26 | |
I'll catch you up. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:28 | |
And now me, old buddy. | 0:24:29 | 0:24:31 | |
I'm going to miss you, Mel. | 0:24:32 | 0:24:34 | |
Remember, there's no face like foam. | 0:24:34 | 0:24:38 | |
There we go. | 0:24:40 | 0:24:42 | |
I can't watch. | 0:24:43 | 0:24:45 | |
Pete... Pete! | 0:24:45 | 0:24:48 | |
I'm stuck. | 0:24:48 | 0:24:50 | |
Well, there's all our performing prisoners. So let's bring them back | 0:24:50 | 0:24:54 | |
and see who's going to take the walk to freedom. | 0:24:54 | 0:24:57 | |
Please welcome Flaming Fun, Betty Brawn, Christian Lee | 0:24:57 | 0:25:01 | |
and the Duelling Sabres. Let's hear it. | 0:25:01 | 0:25:05 | |
Yes! | 0:25:05 | 0:25:06 | |
Well, four marvellous performing prisoners but only one act | 0:25:06 | 0:25:10 | |
can go free from the Slammer, their debt to society paid. | 0:25:10 | 0:25:14 | |
With the aid of this, yes, Gimbert's all-new clap-o-meter. | 0:25:14 | 0:25:18 | |
With lots of clapping and cheering, the clap-o-meter turns it | 0:25:18 | 0:25:21 | |
into a score. The higher score, that act goes free. | 0:25:21 | 0:25:25 | |
It's simple. A bit like Gimbert! | 0:25:25 | 0:25:26 | |
Right, well, the first act up was marvellous. They were hot stuff. | 0:25:26 | 0:25:30 | |
Did you think that? | 0:25:30 | 0:25:31 | |
Let's hear it, please, for Flaming Fun! | 0:25:31 | 0:25:34 | |
LOUD APPLAUSE | 0:25:34 | 0:25:36 | |
Let's have a look. | 0:25:36 | 0:25:38 | |
Oh! A good score. 89.4 for Flaming Fun. That's good, that's good. | 0:25:40 | 0:25:45 | |
Right, that's a very good score but Betty Brawn was next. | 0:25:45 | 0:25:49 | |
My word, she swept the boys of their feet. | 0:25:49 | 0:25:51 | |
She swept Mr Burgess of his feet and you can't say fairer than that. | 0:25:51 | 0:25:55 | |
Would you please give some noise | 0:25:55 | 0:25:57 | |
and applause to the wonderful Betty Brawn? | 0:25:57 | 0:25:59 | |
LOUD APPLAUSE | 0:25:59 | 0:26:01 | |
Oh, she goes into the lead with 91.5! | 0:26:06 | 0:26:09 | |
Betty Brawn at the moment is going free. | 0:26:11 | 0:26:13 | |
Well, he was the man of mystery. Will you see him going free? | 0:26:13 | 0:26:17 | |
It's Christian Lee. | 0:26:17 | 0:26:19 | |
He goes into the lead with 92.9! | 0:26:26 | 0:26:29 | |
What a noise! | 0:26:29 | 0:26:31 | |
Wow! At the moment, as you can see there, 92.9 is Christian Lee. | 0:26:31 | 0:26:36 | |
Just one more marvellous act to see. | 0:26:36 | 0:26:39 | |
Yes, they had the force. Will they force their way out of the Slammer? | 0:26:39 | 0:26:42 | |
It's the Duelling Sabres! | 0:26:42 | 0:26:44 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:26:44 | 0:26:46 | |
Oh! 90... | 0:26:49 | 0:26:51 | |
Oh! It's close. No, the winner and going free from the Slammer, | 0:26:51 | 0:26:55 | |
it's Christian Lee! | 0:26:55 | 0:26:58 | |
Take it away, off you go. | 0:26:58 | 0:27:00 | |
Go on, away you go. | 0:27:00 | 0:27:02 | |
He's free to go. Give him a round of applause, ladies and gentlemen. | 0:27:02 | 0:27:05 | |
The rest of you, back to your cells. | 0:27:05 | 0:27:10 | |
The good news is, it's for tea. What's for tea, Mr Burgess? | 0:27:10 | 0:27:13 | |
It's a French classic tonight, sir. Sloppy ploppy porridge. | 0:27:13 | 0:27:16 | |
-That's not French! -It is if you drop a snail in it, sir. | 0:27:16 | 0:27:19 | |
AUDIENCE GROANS | 0:27:19 | 0:27:21 | |
Look after yourselves. Give them a round of applause. Here they go. | 0:27:22 | 0:27:26 | |
Back to their cells. | 0:27:26 | 0:27:28 | |
Well, that's it jailers and jailbirds. | 0:27:28 | 0:27:30 | |
From all the gang here at the Slammer, | 0:27:30 | 0:27:33 | |
if you can't sing, dance or rhyme, don't do the crime! | 0:27:33 | 0:27:38 | |
Take care, everybody. Bye bye jailers and jailbirds. Bye bye! | 0:27:38 | 0:27:41 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:27:42 | 0:27:44 | |
Email [email protected] | 0:27:44 | 0:27:46 | |
That really hurt. I think I need a glass of water. Oooh! Ow! | 0:27:53 | 0:28:00 | |
Shut up! | 0:28:00 | 0:28:02 |