Sleepy Ted The Slammer


Sleepy Ted

Similar Content

Browse content similar to Sleepy Ted. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!

Transcript


LineFromTo

'Dear Mum, I thought I'd let Mr Hungry, write a few words to say hello.'

0:00:020:00:05

GNARLING

0:00:050:00:07

"I eated it!" You stupid... Right.

0:00:100:00:13

'This week's show was the best Freedom Show since last week.

0:00:130:00:16

'There were some astonishing feats.

0:00:160:00:18

CHEERING

0:00:180:00:20

-'Some astonishing feet.

-CHEERING

0:00:200:00:23

'And someone astonishing Pete. That's me.'

0:00:230:00:26

Stop mucking about!

0:00:260:00:28

'Oh, and it was nearly the end for the Gov. Basically, what happened was...'

0:00:280:00:31

GNARLING

0:00:310:00:33

"I eat a pencil again!"

0:00:330:00:36

# You've been found guilty of a howling showbiz crime

0:00:390:00:44

# So welcome to The Slammer where you're gonna serve your time

0:00:440:00:48

# With every type of minstrel, entertainer and artiste.

0:00:480:00:53

# Performing to the limit to try and get released

0:00:530:00:58

# So go and fetch the audience, bring them to The Slammer

0:00:580:01:03

# And polish up your act with a bit of glitz and glamour

0:01:030:01:07

# Your fate is in their hands so make them cheer and clamour

0:01:070:01:11

# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer

0:01:110:01:14

# It's the only way you'll ever leave The Slammer! #

0:01:140:01:20

Sir?

0:01:210:01:22

Are you in there, Sir? Sir, are you alright?

0:01:220:01:26

Aaaaaaaargh!

0:01:270:01:36

Oh, shut up.

0:01:360:01:38

-Sir!

-Is that you, Frank?

0:01:380:01:39

Yes, Sir. What's happened, Sir? You better sit down, Sir.

0:01:390:01:42

Not yet, Sir.

0:01:440:01:46

-Oh, Frank, Frank. Oh!

-Are you alright?

0:01:460:01:49

-I haven't slept a week for days. I've been so worried.

-Me, too, Sir.

0:01:490:01:54

But then I discovered this.

0:01:540:01:57

"Its unique formula of pro anti-ceramides

0:01:570:02:00

"visibly reduce the signs of aging,

0:02:000:02:01

"thus leaving the skin as smooth as a baby's bottom, Sir.

0:02:010:02:04

No! I've been worried because there's an inspector coming from the Ministry of Merriment.

0:02:040:02:09

Of course, Sir.

0:02:090:02:10

If they find something wrong with The Slammer we'll be out of a job.

0:02:100:02:14

-What are we going to do, Frank?

-All right. Calm down, Sir.

0:02:140:02:17

Let's take this one step at a time, shall we?

0:02:170:02:20

Let's confirm today's Freedom Show... SNORING

0:02:200:02:23

He's gone. Emergency percussion, Gimbert.

0:02:230:02:26

Well done. LOUD CRASH

0:02:290:02:31

-Stay with us, Sir. Right, act one?

-Micro Jackson.

0:02:320:02:37

Check.

0:02:370:02:39

LOUD CRASH Act two?

0:02:400:02:42

-Er, Voodoo Unicycles.

-Check.

0:02:420:02:46

LOUD CRASH Act three, Sir?

0:02:480:02:50

-Sir Wheel.

-Check.

0:02:500:02:53

LOUD CRASH Act four, Sir?

0:02:550:02:57

Szechuan chicken and a spring roll.

0:02:570:02:59

No, no, no. Stay with us, Sir. Hang in there. Freedom Show act four, Sir?

0:02:590:03:04

-Urban Edge MCs.

-Check.

0:03:040:03:09

Right, well, that's all the acts for today's Freedom Show.

0:03:090:03:12

All you've got to do is get a bit of shut eye before the show

0:03:120:03:15

and there'll be nothing to worry about

0:03:150:03:17

from the inspector shutting us down, Sir.

0:03:170:03:19

I'm so tired, I think I'm starting to hallucinate.

0:03:190:03:22

Whatever gives you that idea, Sir?

0:03:220:03:25

Everything will be fine if I can just get some sleep.

0:03:280:03:32

Governor, it's me. Peter. Governor?

0:03:320:03:34

-That's weird. Somebody's lent your light bulb.

-Go away, Peter!

0:03:340:03:38

-Don't worry. I happen to have my giant torch with me.

-Aaaargh!

0:03:380:03:43

What are you doing down there? Stop mucking about.

0:03:430:03:46

I brought my new puppet to meet you. Meet Mr Foggy!

0:03:460:03:50

-Go away!

-That's not very nice, is it, Mr Foggy?

0:03:500:03:54

Right, that's it, I'm going! I've had enough. I'll get no sleep here.

0:03:540:03:58

-I think he likes you.

-SQUEALING

0:03:580:04:01

Naughty!

0:04:010:04:03

Now this is perfect.

0:04:060:04:08

The room's dark, the cell's quiet, a scary man in the corner...

0:04:080:04:13

Oh, it's you, Peregrin Pogo. Do us a favour, Pogo. Hop it!

0:04:140:04:18

Finally, sweet dreams.

0:04:220:04:25

-Attention, prisoner. Time for daily punishment.

-Frank, it's me.

0:04:250:04:29

-Hello, Sir.

-No, it's me, Frank.

-Indeed it is, Sir.

-Frank, stop it!

0:04:290:04:34

I can't do that, Sir. Regulation 16.

0:04:340:04:36

"Prisoners in solitary confinement are subject to a daily punishment."

0:04:360:04:40

Rules is rules, Sir! Besides, it's my favourite bit of the day.

0:04:400:04:44

-The quicker it's done, the quicker it's over.

-The quicker what's done?!

0:04:440:04:48

Move it!

0:04:480:04:49

-But, Frank, it's raining. I'll get wet.

-You'll get wet all right, Sir.

0:04:500:04:54

-Frank, there must be some other way.

-I'm afraid not, Sir.

0:04:540:04:57

I can't take any chances with this inspector coming, can I?

0:04:570:05:01

-But, Frank, I'm wearing my pam-jams.

-All right, Sir, seeing as it's you.

0:05:010:05:06

-Oh, thanks, Frank.

-You can leave them on.

0:05:060:05:09

Leave them on? What do you mean?!

0:05:090:05:11

No! No! Get off! Get off, Frank!

0:05:110:05:15

-All right, Sir, that's the test phase over with.

-The test phase?!

0:05:180:05:22

Right, Gimbert, crank it up to full pressure and let's see what this bad boy can do.

0:05:220:05:26

Noooo!

0:05:260:05:29

No, not that way, Sir. Turn around, Sir. One arm in there.

0:05:310:05:34

Straight through the tunnel, Sir. Now the shoes, Sir.

0:05:340:05:38

Jolly good. SNORING

0:05:380:05:40

He's gone again. Emergency percussion, Gimbert.

0:05:400:05:43

-Improvise, then. Improvise!

-Tssshhh!

0:05:430:05:45

It's just a case of mind over matter, Sir.

0:05:450:05:48

-But I don't mind and it doesn't matter.

-Oh, it does matter, Sir.

0:05:480:05:51

The inspector has arrived from the Ministry of Merriment.

0:05:510:05:54

-She's sitting now, Sir.

-Look nice?

0:05:540:05:56

SINISTER MUSIC

0:05:560:05:58

It's hard to tell, but you're due on stage any minute now.

0:05:580:06:01

But, Frank, how am I going to stay awake during the show?

0:06:010:06:04

We'll think of something, Sir. Right, how do you look?

0:06:040:06:07

-Sleepy.

-No, no, no.

0:06:070:06:09

-Just pull the lever, Sir.

-Very well. It's bedtime, er, showtime.

0:06:090:06:14

'Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to HMP Slammer,

0:06:160:06:20

'where you decide which prisoner is to be released.

0:06:200:06:25

'Now, please welcome your host...' SNORING

0:06:250:06:29

It's the Governor!

0:06:330:06:35

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:06:350:06:38

-Who's the Governor?

-ALL: You are!

0:06:510:06:55

Sorry, jailers and jailbirds, I'm a little bit tired today.

0:06:550:07:00

-What's that?

-Coffee.

-Never mind that. I'll have the lot.

0:07:000:07:05

LAUGHTER

0:07:060:07:08

-That's better.

-BURP

0:07:090:07:13

Well, we've got some marvellous performing prisoners for you today.

0:07:130:07:17

We've got an act on unicycles. They're called Voodoo Unicycles.

0:07:170:07:21

ALL: Ooooh!

0:07:210:07:23

We've got a wheelie good act called Sir Wheel.

0:07:230:07:27

ALL: Ooooh!

0:07:270:07:29

We've got some happening DJs in the house called Urban Edge MCs.

0:07:290:07:34

ALL: Ooooh!

0:07:340:07:36

Now, my little wide-awake jailers and jailbirds,

0:07:360:07:39

prisoner appreciators, will you please make some noise

0:07:390:07:43

for an act that's hoping to go free from The Slammer?

0:07:430:07:46

Remember, only one act can go free, before I drop off.

0:07:460:07:50

Yes, he is Micro Jackson!

0:07:500:07:54

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:07:540:07:56

Yee hee!

0:08:000:08:03

Dee-de-da-da!

0:08:050:08:07

Aw!

0:08:070:08:09

Yee hee! Da!

0:08:090:08:12

LAUGHTER

0:08:120:08:13

# You have to show them that you're really not scared

0:08:180:08:22

# You're playing with your life, this ain't no truth or dare

0:08:220:08:26

# They'll get you, they'll beat you, they'll tell you it's fair

0:08:260:08:29

# So beat it, but you want to be bad

0:08:290:08:32

# So beat it (Beat it)

0:08:320:08:34

# Beat it (Beat it)

0:08:340:08:36

# No-one wants to be defeated

0:08:360:08:39

# Show them how funky and strong is your fight

0:08:390:08:43

# It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

0:08:430:08:46

# Just beat it, just beat it

0:08:460:08:49

# Just beat it, just beat it... #

0:08:490:08:52

Aw!

0:08:550:08:57

LAUGHTER

0:08:570:08:59

# Beat it (Beat it)

0:09:030:09:05

# Beat it (Beat it)

0:09:050:09:07

# No-one wants to be defeated

0:09:070:09:10

# Show them how funky and strong is your fight

0:09:100:09:13

# It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

0:09:130:09:16

# Just beat it! #

0:09:160:09:19

Aw!

0:09:190:09:20

LAUGHTER

0:09:250:09:28

# As he came into the window it was the sound of a crescendo

0:09:280:09:32

# He came into her apartment there were bloodstains on the carpet

0:09:320:09:35

# Annie, are you OK?

0:09:350:09:37

# Annie, are you OK? Are you OK, Annie?

0:09:370:09:39

# Annie, are you OK?

0:09:390:09:40

# Annie, are you OK? Are you OK, Annie?

0:09:400:09:44

# Annie, are you OK? There were bloodstains on the carpet

0:09:440:09:48

# Then you ran into the bedroom

0:09:480:09:49

# You were struck down, it was your doom

0:09:490:09:52

# Annie, are you OK?

0:09:520:09:53

# Annie, are you OK? Are you OK, Annie?

0:09:530:09:55

# Annie, are you OK?

0:09:550:09:57

# Annie, are you OK? Are you OK, Annie?

0:09:570:09:59

# You've been hit by You've been touched by

0:09:590:10:02

# A smooth criminal. #

0:10:020:10:03

Aw!

0:10:030:10:05

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:10:060:10:08

Micro Jackson. They were fabulous, weren't they?

0:10:140:10:17

But, at the end, were they the top banana or did they make monkeys out of themselves?

0:10:170:10:22

Let's see with Mr Burgess.

0:10:220:10:24

Micro Jackson, there. Big enough to walk free?

0:10:240:10:27

I liked the bit where the monkey threw bananas a lot.

0:10:270:10:31

-Do you think putting a monkey in an act adds comedy value?

-Yes, rather.

0:10:310:10:37

-Rather?

-Mm-hm.

-Rather so.

0:10:370:10:39

Governor. Governor!

0:10:390:10:41

What? Oh! Hello.

0:10:410:10:44

-So, this Micro Jackson, shall we let him go?

-Yes.

0:10:440:10:48

-Don't let anyone know I was asleep, will you?

-No.

-The inspector will find out.

0:10:480:10:52

And for one final word, sum that act up for me, chimpy.

0:10:520:10:57

Enthusiastic.

0:10:570:11:00

Enthusiastic, Sir! Just like you, Sir, obviously(!)

0:11:000:11:03

Well, it's on with the next performing prisoner act.

0:11:030:11:06

-They're so excited...

-SNORING

0:11:060:11:08

LAUGHTER

0:11:080:11:09

Sorry, jailers and jailbirds. Who is it? Oh, yes!

0:11:090:11:12

It's voodoo, hoodoo-voodoo, you-do-voodoo, with Voodoo Unicycles!

0:11:120:11:16

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:11:160:11:19

MUSIC

0:11:280:11:30

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:11:440:11:47

CHEERING

0:11:580:12:01

CHEERING

0:12:140:12:16

CHEERING

0:12:200:12:22

RHYTHMIC CLAPPING

0:12:330:12:36

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:12:570:13:00

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:13:050:13:07

Let's find out what you thought of them, with Mr Burgess. Yeah!

0:13:110:13:15

Voodoo Unicycles, there. One wheel better than two, Sir?

0:13:150:13:19

Well, I liked the high jumps and the tricks. I thought it was awesome.

0:13:190:13:23

What made it awesome for you?

0:13:230:13:25

Well, I liked when they jumped from that high platform and jumped all the way down.

0:13:250:13:31

-Daredevil stuff?

-Yeah.

0:13:310:13:34

What did you think of Voodoo Unicycles?

0:13:340:13:36

I think it was really good and fantastic.

0:13:360:13:39

Aah.

0:13:390:13:41

-Boo!

-Aargh!

0:13:410:13:43

-Don't go to sleep.

-I'm not going to sleep.

-You better not.

0:13:430:13:46

I'm not. I wouldn't dare.

0:13:460:13:49

-Right, fill me in.

-Well, I thought they were quite good,

0:13:490:13:52

but they could have used a little bit more work.

0:13:520:13:55

Also, um, when that one over there, I don't know his name...

0:13:550:13:59

I don't know his name either. That one.

0:13:590:14:02

..when he was up there,

0:14:020:14:04

he was quite nervous and you could see him shaking.

0:14:040:14:07

Maybe he can work on that.

0:14:070:14:09

You know, it actually needed a lot more work, I would say, personally.

0:14:090:14:15

-Maybe they could put some bungee jumping in.

-You get all that?

0:14:150:14:21

Can you get some bungee jumping into it?

0:14:210:14:24

If you'd like to sum that act up for me in one word, Sir?

0:14:240:14:27

Slow-tastic.

0:14:270:14:28

Slow-tastic, Sir. Interesting!

0:14:280:14:31

Oh, I'm staying awake, just!

0:14:310:14:33

Right, it's time for the act we call Solitary Confinement.

0:14:330:14:37

CHEERING

0:14:390:14:41

These are the acts we keep down in the cell.

0:14:410:14:43

If they do well, we allow them a little treat.

0:14:430:14:45

If they don't perform well, it's back in their cell.

0:14:450:14:49

Today, the treat is, we've got them a lovely bowl of fresh, juicy plums.

0:14:490:14:54

Lovely plums. Mmm!

0:14:540:14:56

But, if they don't do well, they have a cruel and unusual punishment.

0:14:560:15:00

Mr Burgess!

0:15:000:15:01

-Sir!

-What is today's cruel and unusual punishment?

0:15:010:15:05

Today's is being dangled over a pit of snapping crocodiles,

0:15:050:15:10

whilst doing their eight times table until they get it right, sir.

0:15:100:15:13

-Oh! We need a judge, Mr Burgess.

-What about you, sir?

0:15:130:15:17

-Step this way, sir.

-Give him a round of applause.

0:15:170:15:19

APPLAUSE

0:15:190:15:21

-What's your name?

-Connor.

-You're the judge, Connor.

0:15:210:15:23

It's time now for Solitary Confinement.

0:15:230:15:27

MUSIC

0:15:270:15:29

THUNDERCLAP

0:15:320:15:34

This is X-Ray Ray!

0:15:390:15:42

WHOOPING

0:15:420:15:43

Using only the power of his mind juice,

0:15:450:15:48

Ray will complete this wooden puzzle totally blindfolded.

0:15:480:15:53

DANCE MUSIC

0:15:530:15:55

You said you could do it!

0:16:240:16:26

BOOING

0:16:300:16:32

Oh dear, oh dear.

0:16:320:16:34

It's for you to decide. Remember, thumbs up, nice, juicy plums.

0:16:360:16:40

Thumbs down, snappy old sums.

0:16:400:16:43

Your time starts now.

0:16:430:16:46

What's it going to be? Show me, show me! Oh, it's down!

0:16:460:16:49

Oh! Take him back! I don't know!

0:16:490:16:51

BOOING

0:16:510:16:54

Connor, give him a round of applause for being the judge. Thank you.

0:16:540:16:58

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:16:580:17:00

'Two eights sixteen, then three... Ow! Sorry! Two! Ah! Whoo! Ah!'

0:17:010:17:05

SNAPPING AND SHRIEKING

0:17:050:17:07

BURP

0:17:080:17:10

Jailers and jailbirds, it's time for our next performing prisoner,

0:17:100:17:14

if I can stay awake long enough.

0:17:140:17:16

He's called Sir Wheel. Yeah!

0:17:160:17:19

APPLAUSE

0:17:190:17:22

TECHNO MUSIC

0:17:260:17:28

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:17:320:17:34

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:19:140:19:15

Uncle!

0:19:190:19:21

HE GAGS

0:19:220:19:24

Sir Wheel, there.

0:19:240:19:27

The Governor's just doing something, so...

0:19:270:19:31

So let's see what you thought with Mr Burgess.

0:19:310:19:34

Oh, that's me. I'll go over here.

0:19:350:19:38

Right. Sir Wheel. Was it wheely good?

0:19:380:19:43

I thought it was amazing and fantastic when he was so close to the ground and how he stayed on.

0:19:430:19:48

On a more important point, of course,

0:19:480:19:50

should he be released back into showbiz society?

0:19:500:19:53

-Yeah.

-Why?

0:19:530:19:54

Because, um, it was so good.

0:19:540:19:56

What did you make of that, Miss?

0:19:570:19:59

I think the things he done with the hoop was really excellent.

0:19:590:20:03

I can't even do hula-hooping.

0:20:030:20:05

You can't even do hula-hooping?

0:20:050:20:07

Have you got something to say, madam?

0:20:070:20:10

What's with the shades?

0:20:100:20:11

LAUGHTER

0:20:110:20:13

Yeah! What's with the shades? Why do you wear them sunglasses, lad?

0:20:130:20:17

Blinded by the lights, are we?

0:20:170:20:19

-Sum that act up in one word, sir.

-Anti-gravitational.

0:20:200:20:23

Anti-gravitational, sir!

0:20:230:20:26

Now have we got an act for you! Have we? Yes. Oh.

0:20:300:20:33

It's Urban Edge MCs!

0:20:330:20:35

We're going to do some freestyle rapping for you.

0:20:460:20:49

Nothing has been prepared whatsoever.

0:20:490:20:51

We're going to make everything up on the spot and put it into this rap, OK?

0:20:510:20:55

Give us a random word to use in this rap,

0:20:550:20:57

stick your hand up. We're going to start over here.

0:20:570:21:00

-What random word have you got?

-Macaroni.

-OK. That's a deep word.

0:21:000:21:04

-OK. Give us a word.

-Chicken.

-Chicken.

-Macaroni, chicken.

0:21:040:21:09

-What word have you got?

-Potato.

-Potato that's a great word.

0:21:090:21:12

-R2-D2.

-R2-D2.

-Cheese.

-Cheese.

-Terrific.

-Terrific.

0:21:130:21:20

-Wise.

-Wise. Excellent.

0:21:200:21:22

-OK, everyone. Here we go.

-Tomato.

-Tomato. That's the last word.

0:21:220:21:26

OK. All right, you ready for the freestyle? CHEERING

0:21:260:21:31

Let's do this! Whoo!

0:21:310:21:33

-BOTH: When we say free, you say style. Free.

-Style!

-Free.

-Style!

0:21:330:21:39

Nice to meet you. Testament. You don't know me.

0:21:390:21:42

This is Jack Flash and D, the one and only.

0:21:420:21:44

Of course we have the flows team, yo.

0:21:440:21:46

It's kind of funky like hungry macaroni.

0:21:460:21:49

Yo! Boys and girls, men and women.

0:21:490:21:51

This is where we start and it's right at the beginning.

0:21:510:21:54

You can guarantee when I'm on stage I am winning.

0:21:540:21:57

And I eat my competition like it was chicken.

0:21:570:21:59

Yo, I have to go. I've got the hardest flow. Yo, right to the top, like a potato.

0:21:590:22:04

Competition, I don't see you. Rise to the occasion, I guess I need to.

0:22:040:22:10

Believe me, because I believe you.

0:22:100:22:13

I could even bust the robot, R2-D2.

0:22:130:22:15

I'm R2-D2 and I know the robotics.

0:22:150:22:18

This is freestyle, I'm not an apologist.

0:22:180:22:21

Pay attention to my knowledge. Freestyle with D.

0:22:210:22:24

Urban MCs yes, believe, I am the big cheese.

0:22:240:22:26

Yes, and I know, and I've got to bust the lyric.

0:22:260:22:28

You said all the words so it has to be specific.

0:22:280:22:31

I know that you want it so I had to come and give it.

0:22:310:22:33

And after this you say that my rhyming style's terrific.

0:22:330:22:36

We never do crime. Yes indeed, we are the funkiest guys.

0:22:360:22:41

Use some knowledge, hopefully I'm wise.

0:22:410:22:44

Whether you're a northerner or you're a southerner,

0:22:440:22:47

check him, he's asleep - wake up, Governor!

0:22:470:22:50

Stop right now, I've got a hard flow and I squash rappers like a tomato.

0:22:500:22:55

-BOTH: When we say free, you say style. Free.

-Style!

-Free.

-Style!

0:22:550:23:00

Of course we spitting, yo, we living it large.

0:23:000:23:03

Be quiet for the Governor. Touch it, mister guard.

0:23:030:23:05

Of course a freestyle, higher to the treetops, hold on for a second,

0:23:050:23:08

I might just beatbox.

0:23:080:23:11

BEATBOXING

0:23:110:23:13

Yo, my name is Jack Flash, we are about to finish here.

0:23:130:23:16

When we step off the stage we disappear.

0:23:170:23:20

Testament the beatbox, he break it down.

0:23:200:23:22

We about to finish there, so we take a bow.

0:23:220:23:25

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:23:250:23:27

That's my cue!

0:23:330:23:34

I'm now getting the urges to find out what you think with Mr Burgess.

0:23:340:23:38

Oh yeah!

0:23:380:23:40

Urban Edge MCs, there. What did you think of that?

0:23:400:23:44

Fascinating and intriguing. They would definitely get my vote.

0:23:440:23:48

What did you think of that performance?

0:23:480:23:52

I think it was cool and extremely talented.

0:23:520:23:57

-Is it the kind of thing you can do, madam? Rapping there?

-No!

0:23:570:24:00

I'm not asking you any more. What about you, Miss? What did you make of Urban Edge MCs, there?

0:24:000:24:06

-I thought it was brilliant.

-Do you want a rewind?

0:24:060:24:09

Do you get me? LAUGHTER

0:24:100:24:12

Did you like that act? Urban Edge MCs?

0:24:120:24:14

I think it was quite good because we gave them some words

0:24:140:24:17

and they managed to put it in a rap.

0:24:170:24:19

-Yeah. Could you put a word in a rap?

-No.

0:24:190:24:22

-I like to put chicken and peppers and some nice sauce in a wrap.

-LAUGHTER

0:24:220:24:27

-One final word. Sum that act up for me, sir.

-Rappertalento.

0:24:280:24:31

Rappertalento, sir!

0:24:310:24:33

It's time to decide who goes free. Let's welcome them all back on stage.

0:24:330:24:37

Yes! Micro Jackson and his monkey. The Voodoo Unicycles, they're there.

0:24:370:24:43

Sir Wheel and Urban Edge MCs.

0:24:450:24:47

It will be decided with this, Gimbert's all-patented clapometer.

0:24:470:24:52

You make the noise, it turns it into points. The highest points go free.

0:24:520:24:56

Who's it going to be? First out, never seen an act like this before.

0:24:560:25:00

Would you please make some noise for Micro Jackson and his monkey!

0:25:000:25:04

SCREAMING AND APPLAUSE

0:25:040:25:06

What a fabulous score. Well done. 93.8.

0:25:120:25:14

He could be going free.

0:25:150:25:17

The next performing prisoners were very jumpy, very bouncy. They were the Voodoo Unicycles.

0:25:170:25:22

SCREAMING AND APPLAUSE

0:25:230:25:25

Oh, lads! Lads, you're going to be staying in for supper.

0:25:290:25:32

It's a great score. To get in the nineties is really good.

0:25:330:25:36

I've never seen an act like this one before. So original.

0:25:360:25:40

Round and round he went. It was Sir Wheel.

0:25:400:25:44

SCREAMING AND APPLAUSE

0:25:440:25:45

Another ninety. You're right there, Gimbert. 90.6.

0:25:500:25:52

Still in the lead, ahead of Voodoo Unicycles, it's Micro Jackson.

0:25:520:25:56

Just one performing prisoner act can go free.

0:25:560:25:59

Jailers and jailbirds, make your noise known for the Urban Edge MCs.

0:25:590:26:05

SCREAMING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:050:26:08

It's close. It's so close I don't believe. 93.2. Just in the lead.

0:26:120:26:17

Oh, lads. Micro Jackson, you're going free.

0:26:170:26:20

Off you go, lads.

0:26:220:26:24

-Give him a big cheer, jailers and jailbirds. Give them a big cheer.

-SCREAMING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:240:26:30

It was very close, lads, but it means you are staying with us.

0:26:300:26:35

The good news is you're just in time for tea.

0:26:350:26:37

-Mr Burgess.

-Yes, I'm just on the phone to the kitchen now.

0:26:370:26:41

I'm with chef now.

0:26:410:26:43

Sounds delicious, chef. I can smell it from here. Lovely.

0:26:430:26:47

-Thank you.

-What is it?

-Sloppy ploppy porridge, sir.

-Oh!

0:26:470:26:51

Take them to the cells. Give them a big cheer.

0:26:510:26:53

And a round of applause.

0:26:530:26:55

Off you go. Great competition. Well done, lads.

0:26:550:26:58

There they are. Remember those very important words.

0:27:000:27:03

If you can't sing, dance or rhyme...

0:27:030:27:06

AUDIENCE: Don't do the crime!

0:27:060:27:09

Tatty-bye, everybody! Tatty-bye!

0:27:090:27:13

# That's the only way you'll ever leave the Slammer! #

0:27:170:27:21

-So, did we pass the inspection?

-With flying colours, sir.

0:27:220:27:25

-Fantastic!

-You were awarded Governor of the Century, sir.

0:27:250:27:29

-Wow!

-And Gimbert won a lifetime achievement prize.

0:27:290:27:33

-Gimbert?

-Hm.

0:27:330:27:37

Oh, hang on a minute.

0:27:370:27:39

-This is a dream, isn't it?

-Indeed it is, sir.

0:27:390:27:42

Aah! So, did we pass the inspection?

0:27:420:27:46

EVIL LAUGH

0:27:480:27:51

Aaah! Oh! Uh!

0:27:510:27:53

Oh. Ah!

0:27:550:27:56

It was just a dream.

0:27:560:27:58

KLAXON SOUNDS

0:27:580:27:59

HE SCREAMS

0:27:590:28:01

Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS