The Bygraves/Down With School The Story of Tracy Beaker

# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through

-# It doesn't matter What may come my way...

-No! No!

# Believe me now I will win some day. #

MUSIC: Theme from "Captain Pugwash"

AA-RRR!

Say hello to the sharks. DOLLY SCREAMS

Anything to say before I feed you to the fish?

-Yeah, you're a big pathetic creep.

-DOLLY SCREAMS

BOTH: Look what he's doing to Dolly!

Coward!

-Are you all right?

-Yeah. He said did I want to feed the fishes!

-I didn't know he meant ME!

-Come on, let's play.

AA-RRR-RR!

DOLLY SCREAMS

Bullying, I'm afraid.

-I don't like to tell, but...

-You did the right thing.

Tracy Beaker, Justine Littlewood, can I have a word, please?

Can you believe that?! She thinks WE'RE picking on the tiddlers.

-He's got to go.

-The sooner he gets fostered, the better.

-But who'd have him?!

-You promised.

-I said I'd try and sort something.

-I want to see my grandpa.

-I'd like someone to go with you.

-I

-could go with her. No, you're right. Bad idea. Never mind.

Satisfied? Now there's two of us. SHE SNEEZES

Watch my lips.

It was Michael who was bullying Dolly.

-Right, I give up.

-Good.

This nice couple have been in touch...again.

They don't discourage easily. If you'd like to meet them, I could...

Nobody in their right minds would live with these people.

They're a total nightmare. Not to mention desperate. They'd foster anybody.

-Tracy...

-On second thoughts, could you set up at a meeting?

-Who have you got?

-What are you on about?

Elaine's set us up with mystery families. It's like Blind Date -

"Number 3, does your house ming of cabbage?"

-"Michael - Barbara and Dave Crenshaw."

-Ooh!

-What, you know them?

-I hope you like ballroom dancing.

-Why?

-She'll teach you. Just don't stare at her warts!

-I don't wanna dance.

You'll be happy just to get out of the car. They smoke - it reeks.

-Of cigarettes?

-No, cat sick(!)

I could switch with you.

-What do you want?

-You'd better leave Dolly alone from now on.

-Yes, all right.

It's not too bad. Nice house, a good-sized garden.

-It's the pits.

-That's a bit harsh.

-He shouldn't be in a nursing home.

-There's nothing wrong with him.

-Jackie? Jackie!

-Grandpa!

Hello, my love! They said you wasn't coming.

They lied, then, didn't they? Grandpa, this is Crash.

-Hi, nice to meet you.

-Hello.

-Oh, hi. Are you the...?

-Bygraves, that's right.

-You must be Tracy.

-Let me look at you.

-Tracy's not feeling very well.

-Oh, dear.

-That is a shame.

-There's someone else.

-He was meant to go out with another family, but they let him down.

-Oh!

You don't think he'd like to meet us, do you?

I'd say there's quite a good chance. Follow me.

Come and sit here, Michael.

We're sorry the other lot let you down. Their loss.

It must be so difficult.

Yeah, well...

I nearly forgot.

Here.

-It's a rhyming dictionary.

-I bet you've not got one already.

Um, no. Thanks.

-Indispensable when you're writing a song.

-Or poetry.

I write the odd poem myself, Michael.

Read him the one about the kittens.

Um, could you excuse me a minute, please?

(Michael!)

Two people - loud.

-Tell her that I'm sick.

-Tracy said I don't have to do what you say.

-Want to taste my cat o' nine tails?

-Your what?!

-You don't want to know.

-How was I supposed to know?

-Just how much are they?

They just won the lottery. How much does that make you?

-What if you didn't get on?

-So what? I could go to boarding school,

-have my own swimming pool and a pony.

-Yeah. But what about Michael?

He doesn't know yet.

I will have to get them back off him before he twigs.

-I'm afraid he's sick. Very, very sick.

-And now,

I'm much, much better. ..There. Now, beat it.

Now then, where are we going?

Bad luck, Beaker. Ker-ching!

A hearse?!

A funeral director, called Bygrave!

HORN HONKS "The Funeral March"

So, there I was, everyone in the stadium on their feet,

and this Belgian and me neck-and-neck.

Carry on, I'll just get some drinks.

My legs were like rubber. He gets in front,

then keels over, so I crawl across the line on my knees!

-You should have heard that crowd roar.

-Wow! You're fitter than me.

Oh, by the way, you didn't tell me,

who's your young lady friend? She seems very nice.

This is fantastic. You shouldn't have gone to this trouble for me.

-Oh, it was no trouble.

-That's right.

Poor Tracey, to be missing this.

Shame.

It's so nice sitting here with you.

-If you only knew how much we'd wanted...

-Nelly...

So, your lives are really going to change. Have you thought about what is going to be like?

Oh, Michael, all the time.

I just think we should be a bit careful.

Very wise.

-You don't want to go and blow it all now, do you?

-We certainly don't.

Would you care to try one of these, Michael?

-What are they?

-They're my wife's speciality.

Liver rissoles.

Delicious.

Do you like singing? I bet you do.

We're in a choir.

-Maybe you could join if...

-Nelly!

I'm sure you know this one. Join in if you like.

# Kumbaya, my Lord... #

CHILDREN GIGGLE # Kumbaya

# Kumbaya, my Lord

# Kumbaya

# Kumbaya, my Lord... #

-Hi.

-Hi.

-This is a nice place.

-You've been at the Dumping Ground too long!

Look, it might not be such a bad idea for your grandpa to stay.

Don't be stupid.

No, really. He, er, asked me who you were.

What do you mean?

If he can't remember who you were, maybe he needs some looking after.

Does that look like someone who needs looking after?!

-We've so enjoyed today, Michael.

-Me too.

We'd like to have a word with Elaine about you, if it's OK.

Start the ball rolling.

Really? That's great. I mean, if you haven't got too much to think about.

-With the big win, and everything.

-Win?

-Yeah.

-We haven't won anything.

-But...

-What about the Lottery?

-Lottery?

We don't do that. It's a mug's game.

What were you two thinking?!

We were just trying to help.

-Help?!

-Him get fostered.

You wish. Michael!

The one day I was hoping for a break.

-So you mean, he's not leaving?

-No, Justine.

So that's it, then.

Er, not quite. There's something that I want both of you to do.

-So that's the story.

-It was just a bit of fun. Sorry.

We can't have children, you see.

Silly...to get our hopes up.

But...it's everything, don't you think?

Having your own family.

-Yeah, you're right.

-It is.

Look, we're really, really sorry.

-Honestly.

-If there's anything we can do...

-Anything.

That's the end of visiting time.

Oh, hello! Can I introduce my granddaughter, little Jackie Hopper?

Not so little now, eh?

Well, time to move along.

You've got a very nice place here. Which is your room?

This is where YOU live.

Is it?

Oh, that's right.

Miss you, love.

I'll be back soon.

-I could slip him out, if you stall the nurses for a minute.

-Jackie!

I don't think this is a good idea. Sorry.

Don't worry. I'll get him out one way or another.

Morning!

Ah! Girls, we'll put yesterday behind us, shall we?

-I've got new foster parents to show you.

-I don't think so.

-Too much of a minefield.

-Who knew adults have feelings?

-Besides, we've got a visit.

-Oh?

With who? CAR HORN BLARES

You've got to admit this is miles better than doing your homework.

I hate Mondays. Double mussel sprocket - yuk!

-Hey, Crash, don't forget you've got a spelling test today.

-Oh, no.

Run away again, Jackie?

Just cos your grandpa's a champion runner, it doesn't mean you are too!

-That is enough, Michael.

-You ought to lock her up, Shelley,

now the school have chucked her out.

-They didn't chuck me out!

-Michael, enough!

I just had better places to go, OK?

ALARM SOUNDS

They chucked you out so you have to do all your work here on your own...

-in between running away.

-Which part of "enough" don't you understand(?)

At least Jackie didn't spend every lunchtime ALONE.

Just drop it. Once Michael settles in he'll make lots of new friends.

-ALL: No!

-Jackie, I'm away today...

-Great, I'll go and see Grandpa.

-Your home tutor's left you lots of work.

-Nathan will supervise you.

-Nathan?!

I'll see you later. And no more running away, OK?

I'm not promising anything.

-I wish I was staying home.

-Me too, even if it is with Nathan.

Tracey, you're not going to bunk off, are you? It's football today.

-And treacle sponge.

-And history with Miss Penwellyn.

Oo-ooh(!) Big deal. I'd much rather spend the day with Jackie.

-Why can't

-I

-have a bit of home tutoring too,

-especially as Nathan's in charge?

-Blah-blah-blah-blah...

-You'd never pull it off.

-Just watch.

-Have a nice day at school, Michael.

Have a good day at school, dudes.

Hurry up, Bounce. You're going to be late for Miss Penwellyn.

Layla, your physio's coming round today, remember?

But I'll miss my play rehearsal.

-It's all arranged.

-But I'm the Psychopathic Fairy!

I get to zap everyone into a coma!

We're doing Sleeping Beauty.

-Ah. Sorry, Pumpkin.

-I don't want to miss school, Nathan.

-It's not fair.

-I know.

Aaargh!

-AAARGH! AAARGH!

-Michael, what's happened?!

-I fell down the stairs! My foot hurts!

-Let's see.

-AARGH!

-I'll ring an ambulance.

-No! I'd better get to school.

-Whoa, dude! You're not going anywhere!

-Oh. Have a nice day at school, Tracey.

-Come on, you'll be late.

Don't worry, Nathan. We're not going anywhere.

-What?!

-School stinks...big time.

-Today, we're into home education.

-You can't do that!

-Jackie does.

You've got to go to school! Think of the things you've got to learn,

like who invented the bicycle and who discovered the potato.

We're not going and there's nothing you can do about it.

-You all right, Nathan?

-Aargh!

-Yeah, everything's fine.

Come on. Quick, off you go.

-Keep your wig on!

-We're going.

-Aargh!

Jackie, it's about time you did some work now.

Don't be a spoilsport, Nathan. I'm winning.

-Chill out, Nathan.

-Chill out? Me? Chill out?! Right, that's it!

-What is?

-You want to stay home? Fine. Meet your new tutor, dudes.

So...two-thirds is bigger than three-quarters.

No... It's gotta be the other way round. Or was it three-fifths?

-Pass me that bit of cake, Tracey.

-What, this one?

-Mmm. This is yummy.

-Stop eating the maths equipment!

OK.

-Want a fight?

-Come on, then!

-Pack it in now! Come on!

-This isn't fractions! Come on!

-Have another fifth!

Nathan, try a sixth!

-What on earth is going on?!

-Eighth of cake, Elaine?

Elaine, you got my message.

No. I popped in to see Jackie. Why aren't you two at school, Tracey?

We want to be home tutored too.

Jackie's special. The school will take her back when she calms down.

Blah-blah-blah. You can't force me to go!

-And you can't force us!

-I've tried everything.

-They won't budge.

-Right.

Well, there's only one thing to do.

-Phone Shelley, tell her to come back?

-No, Nathan.

Allow them to experiment with home education.

-You're not serious...

-Perfectly.

I can't take it. There's this lot,

Michael's fallen down stairs and hurt his foot,

Layla's complaining about physio!

Deep breath, Nathan.

Exhale... Exhale now!

Why don't you take a break? Go and make yourself a nice cup of tea.

-I'll take over here.

-You?!

Right...fractions.

Now, supposing I had a large pie and I cut it into pieces and...

-What kind of pie?

-I don't know. Um...

-You don't know the flavour?!

-It could be dodgy meat passed off as apple!

Or snot and bogey.

-The point is...

-The point is, Elaine, this is very, very boring.

-What do you WANT to learn about?

-How about why we're here on Earth?

The secrets of the universe? Or the solar system?

Hi, Layla. Want a game of cards?

Or something else? You choose.

-Go away.

-That's not very nice. You should be happy.

-A day off school...

-I didn't have a choice...unlike SOME people.

How's the ankle?

Yeah, funny, that, isn't it?

One minute it's fine, the next it's not.

-Shall I test you?

-No! Go away!

-I only asked!

Hey, look, I can fly! I can fly!

Michael, stop it! Give me them back! Michael!

OK. Pay attention, everyone.

I present to you...the solar system!

I will demonstrate how a black hole operates.

A black hole sucks in all matter... like this.

-MOTOR WHINES

-I'm not sure that's a good idea.

Nothing can survive - planets, stars...

-Elaine, Michael's got my costume wings!

-I have not!

-Layla, what would a big boy like Michael want with those?

-Aargh!

-Aargh!

-Oh, you poor thing!

How could you chase him like that, Layla?!

-But...!

-If you've got nothing better to do, you'd better join us.

Right, we'll give the room a tidy,

and then start some nice geography work.

-Do you like geography, Michael?

-Yes. It's my favourite subject.

-Everything all right, Elaine?

-Fine.

-Layla, your physio cancelled, so you'll make your rehearsal.

-How?!

SOMEONE'S hidden my script and costume!

..and little by little over hundreds and hundreds of years,

slowly the river makes a new course.

Taking a short cut, but doing it very slowly -

so slowly that you wouldn't even notice it.

Carving itself a new path,

but still leaving the old route, which...

-Where are you all going?

-It's lunchtime, Elaine.

I didn't think anything could be more tedious than school.

But this has been my best day ever. It's so boring here on my own.

Why are Nathan's sandwiches soggy?

I'd swap them all for some treacle sponge.

-Me too. It's the cross-country race this afternoon.

-Is it?

-I wish you'd come back to school, Jackie.

-Me too.

-They're giving away a silver cup for first prize.

-You'd win easily.

Layla?

GLASS BREAKS Who said you could come in my room?!

Think it's funny, do you?! My brother got me this!

Well, see how funny you find this!

Michael! No, I didn't mean...!

-Give Layla her stuff back!

-No way! I'm going to rip them to pieces!

-Don't!

-Michael, I thought you'd hurt your ankle.

-Aargh!

-That really is very naughty to pretend like that!

He HAS hurt it, Elaine.

One minute it's fine and the next it's not.

-Sorry I broke your picture, Michael.

-It's OK.

Oh, I thought you were just pulling our leg.

Let me help you.

-Come on.

-Aagh!

Elaine, Nathan... I want to go back to school.

School?! Yeah... Yeah, great! What an absolutely great idea!

OK. I'll give the headteacher a call.

Come on, let's go!

My play rehearsal starts any minute.

-Let me help you, Michael.

-Aagh!

We'll do some nice geography this afternoon.

Are you sure about this, Jackie?

110% sure. Aren't you, Jackie?

I'm ready for school. I don't know if it's ready for me,

but there's only one way to find out.

# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through

-# And the fight won't get me down

-No! No!

# My dreams will turn things All around

# With a smile upon my face I can see a better place

-# It doesn't matter What may come my way...

-No! No!

# Believe me now I will win some day. #

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