Crash & Trashed/There's No-One Quite Like Granpa The Story of Tracy Beaker

# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through

-# It doesn't matter What may come my way...

-No! No!

# Believe me now I will win some day. #

-Oi! What did you do that for?

-It was an accident. Keep your wig on.

-There might be something from Cam.

-She's been in New York for ages.

Thinking of Tracy Beaker all the time she's there... As if!

Duke, he won't give me the milk.

Give Tracy the milk.

-He got milk all over me!

-Crash, for goodness sake!

You should take it out his pocket money when he smashes things.

Eugh! Sugar...

Ready now? Come on, boys, here we go.

Nathan...

-There's tonnes of washing to be done.

-I know.

-You'll get it done?

-Yeah.

-Good.

OK, Marco the wonder dog, drop the ball!

Marco! Bad dog! Bad dog!

PO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OST!

Ah-ah-ah!

It's from New York!

Molly, why have you sent away for a free voucher for toilet cleaner?

-It's for your birthday.

-Thank you. It's very kind of you.

-You can't have it yet. It's for your birthday.

-Anything from Grandpa?

Not today. Sorry.

-Is there anything there for me?

-As if!

Look what Cam sent me!

Don't even THINK of asking to borrow it.

-I wouldn't be seen dead in it.

-Did I forget to mention it's from Cam,

-who is in New York...

-Tracy!

-..thinking of Tracy Beaker always?

New York, New York...

Boy germs! Yuk!

-We must do something about Crash.

-I must do something about this.

Nathan!

-There's hardly a dish left in one piece.

-What?

-Crash!

Oh...

-This pile isn't getting smaller.

-I think it's breeding.

-From Cam.

The wrinkles are from the post.

Nathan will iron it for you.

Aw, thanks!

-Is Elaine working with Crash and anger-management techniques?

-Yes.

Well, they're not very effective.

I mean...I could have a word with him, if you'd like.

-He's a reasonable dude when he's not blowing his top.

-Or you could...

YOU'RE BURNING THE IRONING!

I don't suppose that either one of you wants to tell Tracy...

Idiot!

-I'll buy you a new top. I'll buy you two!

-You can't buy one like that!

-It was special.

-I'm trying to watch something.

-It says "cool iron"!

-Shut up about your stupid, boring T-shirt.

-You just butt out!

-"I've got a 2 T-shirt from NY. I'm special"(!)

-What would you know?

Nobody ever sent YOU anything in the mail. Not even a postcard.

That's how special you are.

What happened to those visualisation techniques we worked on?

To help you with your anger?

Remember?

Every time we feel anger, we make beautiful pictures in our head

and we calm down.

Shall we give it a try?

Hm?

Deep breath.

And we're walking through a grassy meadow full of lovely flowers

towards the beautiful mountain...

-It's a waste of time.

-Perhaps we're not trying hard enough.

-I do try.

-Things got really out of hand today.

Someone might have got hurt.

We wondered if you might be happier somewhere else.

< No!

How could you be so dumb?

-Nathan, haven't you got the washing to do?

-This is more important.

Think of a beautiful scene. The blue...sky...and...

BANGING

I don't want to hurt people.

I know.

I get angry. Just like him.

You're not like your dad.

I wanted to hurt Tracy.

But you didn't.

You only damage things, not people.

You're not like him.

He's got to go.

-That's a bit harsh.

-He's defiant, irresponsible...

-He's just a kid.

That's the problem - he's one of the kids.

He can't help being a kid.

He's supposed to be a care worker.

-I thought you were talking about Crash!

-Keep up, Duke.

"Keep up, Duke"(!)

I've already said I'm sorry.

It was just a stupid T-shirt.

That goes with the coloureds.

-Will you help me with something?

-I've really got to do this.

It's really, really important.

-MARCO BARKS

-What are you doing? Get off, Marco!

-Nath, what did you want?

-It's time for a big clean-out of your rooms.

The squirrel's in the garden eating all your vegetables!

Get out of it, squirrels! Waaargh! Waaargh!

Chipped.

Not chipped.

Cracked.

Get out.

Throw it at me.

I won't duck.

Look, I'm a show-off and a pain

and I'm really, really sorry I made you mad.

OK, I'm the biggest pain in the world.

Worse than Shelley with the nit comb. Worse than Elaine the Pain.

-Nobody's worse than Elaine the Pain.

-Agreed.

Now, come with me.

NA-A-A-A-ATHA-A-A-AN!

DA-DA!

-It's for you.

-Is this a joke or something?

-Crash!

It's a Crash cupboard.

It's good, isn't it?

-Wow!

-Wait...

Come on, everyone. Behind the door. Come on.

Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash!

-<

-NATHAN!

You've been making playhouses when I told you to do the chores!

-It's not a playhouse.

-Not now, Crash. Nathan, I'm sick...

-Try it.

Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley!

Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley!

Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley! Go, Shelley!

HURRAY!

It's, um, an anger-management room.

-This is what you've done instead of the washing?

-It wasn't his fault.

-It was my idea.

-Was it now?

-I'll...do it now.

-No, no. It's too late.

You keep up the good work - I'LL do the washing.

After I've phoned Cam in New York and asked her to get a new T-shirt,

-the cost of which...

-Comes out my wages.

Well? What are you waiting for?

Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash!

Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash! Go, Crash!

HURRAY!

Don't even think of switching off.

I know where you live.

No! You listen to me. I want my grandpa home now!

-Jackie?

-Run a nursing home? You people couldn't run a bath!

Jackie, we need to have a talk about your grandpa.

What do you know about it?

He's never gonna leave that place.

He's got Old-timer's disease.

-Yeah? How'd you like fist-in- your-face disease?

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYS

-Hi, Michael!

-She remembered my name.

I shouted at 'em like you suggested but they just kept being reasonable.

I hate it when they do that.

It's rubbish about him being ill! It's so unfair.

-Your poor grandpa.

-I've had just about enough.

It's time for action.

Ah! I trust you'll be in need of some expert assistance?

DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

MUSIC: "Favourite Things" by Big Brovaz

-Hi, Louise. Do you want a drink?

-Thanks, Michael.

-Where's mine?

-Don't let me interrupt you.

-Carry on dancing and just pretend I'm not here.

-Why pretend,

when we can have the real thing?

If you need anything else, I'll get it for you.

Michael's quite...interesting, isn't he?

Yeah, so are cockroaches.

Dumping Ground, down to the lake...

-KNOCK AT DOOR

-Tracy, have you seen Jackie?

In here.

Oh, good, you've calmed down a bit. I just...

-What are you two up to?

-Shelley!

-Honestly, this place!

-Sorry.

I'll talk to you later, Jackie, OK?

I, um...

-must get this damp looked at.

-Yeah.

MUSIC: "Favourite Things" by Big Brovaz

-Doing a spot of spying, are we?

-Sh!

Ah, Louise! It's a pity she only goes for good-looking boys, really.

-Hmm...is that why she turned you down?

-I... Well, she, I...

Well, um...knowing her so well, we could give you a few tips.

-Tips?

-Oh, yeah. How to woo the fair lady.

If you were to ask nicely.

-# ..What you want?

-I'd like a man who would take care of business

# And still have the time to take me on a shopping spree... #

Lol...Bouncer?

I reckon she'd be really impressed.

But...writing a love song?

-Well, I don't know how.

-Oh.

Easy. All you need are feelings,

a little help from your friends and a...musical instrument.

So, you in?

-Binoculars?

-Check.

-Tins of food?

-Check.

Can opener?

Check.

-Lemon-scented baby wipes?

-Lemon-scented what?

Trust me, they're great.

-Let's roll.

-Go! Go! Go!

DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

-Norma, what are you doing here?

-Sh! SHE MOUTHS

-I'm taking you home.

-About time!

-What's happening?

-Lol's in there with Michael.

He's torturing him.

My brother's far more subtle than that.

Look, if you're interested, come back at 1.30 - seats at all prices.

-Now go. Go on!

-WAILING COMES FROM BEHIND DOOR

Yes, we made it!

Ah!

Sh! There's...

there's somebody here.

VOICES COME FROM TV

Who are you?

-The worst burglar in the world, that's who!

-I'm no criminal!

-I'm an estate agent.

-A what?

Jackie, they sell houses.

Selling the house? But you can't. Where will we live?

JIG PLAYS

-He signed the papers.

-I most certainly did not!

..Did I?

Look, I'll call my office.

Yeah, they'd be very interested

to find out how cosy you've been!

-Well, I can explain that.

-Get out of my house, go on.

Go on, get out!

-Hi, Lou! Come to get your surprise.

-Surprise, what's he on about?

Don't know, probably an idiotic...

HE WHISPERS

Louise, what you waiting for? Go to the lounge and get your surprise.

Justine?

This will do.

Is...

is something burning?

Grandpa!

-Hello, Norma, just getting a blaze going.

-What, the entire house?

Why does he keep calling you Norma?

MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYS

Michael?

-SAY SOMETHING!

-Wait, wait, wait!

Hi, Louise.

Um... I wanted you to hear something.

He's gonna do it! He's gonna do it!

# Lou...Lou...Lou

# Lou...ise

# Please don't tease I'm begging you, please

# I'm down on my knees You're holding the keys

# To my heart

# Please, don't tease I'm begging you please

# I'm down on my knees You're holding the keys

# To my heart. #

-Come on!

-Voice of an angel!

FEEDBACK WHISTLES

-What have you done?

-What have you done?

Ahem!

# Michael, Michael

# Lend me a cycle. #

Mmm! Mince and beans!

Just like the old days, eh, Norma?

For the last time! Her name isn't...

KNOCK AT DOOR

-It's Shelley.

-What are you doing?

-Letting her in.

-I don't think so!

-But your grandpa, he's...

-He's not very well.

-He's fine.

He's just...tired.

You open that door and I'll never talk to you again.

Less earache for me, then!

Hiya, Shelley. Come to join in our little sit-in?

Whoa!

Jackie!

-Jackie.

-Jackie!

He's not going back to that home, OK? It's making him ill!

-He was ill before, Jackie, you KNOW that.

-He's all right.

-He just gets...confused.

-He thinks she's someone called Norma.

Jackie's mum.

My dad was the same way.

-Your dad?

-He had Alzheimer's disease - same as Jackie's grandpa.

I looked after him for a long time until...

-I couldn't cope any more.

-Couldn't cope? You?

-There's no need to be sarcastic.

-I-I'm not.

Oh.

You had to look after your dad?

JACKIE UNBOLTS THE DOOR

KNOCK AT DOOR

Come to laugh at me again?

I didn't laugh. Listen, I've got to go.

I'm meeting my boyfriend.

Oh...right.

Hey, Lou. Was that top comedy or what?

Actually, it was really sweet. Thanks, Michael.

MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYS

I don't regret a second of the time I spent looking after my dad.

It's just...

I missed out on being young.

I don't want to be young.

I want things how they used to be.

Your grandpa can't look after you any more.

He needs looking after, by people who really know what they're doing.

Hayfever...creeps up on you when you least expect it.

# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through

-# And the fight won't get me down

-No! No!

# My dreams will turn things All around

# With a smile upon my face I can see a better place

-# It doesn't matter What may come my way...

-No! No!

# Believe me now I will win some day. #

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