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# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through
# Doesn't matter What may come my way
# Believe me now I will win some day. #
I'd love to but I'm up to my neck.
RUMBLING FROM ABOVE
Hold on. I'll have to call you back.
ALL ARGUE THEN ARGUING SUBSIDES
How did this happen? ALL: Accident.
-We were playing football and...
-I knew you were too big.
-He fouled me!
-It was a good tackle.
You were playing football on the pool table?
You gotta be more responsible, you got everything here, the telly,
you have this lovely big garden if you wanna play football.
You're really lucky, even I'm lucky.
Who am I kidding? Lucky? Me?
Saturday afternoon and I'm in here...
talking to furniture.
-Who are you?
My references should explain everything.
Constance Carlton, winner of the Care Worker of the Year Award.
-Five years running.
-Why are you here?
-Everybody has their problems.
-Our kids are all right.
They're not monsters.
-I was talking about you.
If you don't take time out, you'll be talking to the furniture.
-How did you know?
-Time to meet our young persons!
Hiya! You know that thing you wanted me to do, but couldn't? Well, I can!
This is Constance Carlton and she's joining us for a while.
Constance is a care-working legend.
Look who's talking. I've heard you're the best chef!
Can't wait to try your chocolate souffle!
They're quite tricky...
Don't you mean challenging?
I'm sure a duke could rise to the challenge.
You're right, I'll make one tomorrow.
Now, let me guess.
Jackie Hopper - our running star.
Bouncer - the budding chef.
Lol - the footballer.
And you must be Crash -
What about us?
Chantal - yes... I know all about you.
Course we can manage without you. Have a good time!
Well, good luck...you'll need it!
-Good afternoon, Sid.
Sorry. All visitors must be approved.
-I'm not a visitor - I practically live here, don't I?
-Sad but true.
-You're Tracy Beaker.
-Yeah. That's right. Excuse me.
I believe some youngsters formed a Beaker Club, inspired by you.
Well, I AM pretty inspiring.
They made flour bombs and put care worker's underwear on their heads.
-All leaders get misinterpreted.
-We can do without your influence.
-GENERAL HUBBUB You're on this side now?
We ought to talk about your care plans.
-Our care plans?
-Elaine and I made a few revisions.
What?! Anger-management counselling every day?
I think you've just proved you DO.
YOU want to send US to separate foster homes?
Well, we think it'll really give you a chance to blossom.
They're only a three-hour train journey apart.
-You can't do this!
-Let's talk to Sid.
-Sid's not here.
-But care plans can change...
-What do you want from us?
if you can prove that you can function well together...
with good behaviour, I might rethink.
But that's enough serious talk. Time to relax and watch telly.
Just in time for Celebrities Go Nuts In The Zoo.
-I thought we'd watch a documentary on potatoes.
-I'm out of here.
I hope you're not being antisocial. Perhaps counselling would help.
Oi! 'Prisoner escaping!'
You won't believe what happened.
-What is HE doing here?
-What, Boring Care Workers.
The Young Rebels, a drama set in the '50s.
Sid's Danny T, the leader of a motorcycle gang.
One of the members dropped out. I'm sure Constance can manage.
She just chucked me out!
I'm sure she was just being cautious. When she gets to know you...
..She'll put bars on the windows to keep you out.
-Where's the telly?
-And the games console...?
-I don't believe this.
You know...I've always believed that only boring people get bored.
-Right! And we're not boring, so...we're fine, aren't we?
-We've got nothing to do.
-Oh, really? Don't look so gloomy!
-We're here to have fun!
-What sort of fun?
The best kind - mathematical fun!
Welcome to Cliffside Matholympics!
I've got to run through a few rules.
No calculators, no mobile phones, no talking...
Rules...you can take your rules and you can shove 'em up yer...
-I haven't got this, have I?
-Maybe it's the outfit.
-Yeah, that shirt's minging.
'50s clothes might help.
I've got stuff from the theatre group.
She is taking this too seriously.
She's a writer. This play's her baby.
Why does she need a baby? She's got ME. This '50s stuff is so lame!
-Have you imagined anything so it felt real?
-I might have, once.
-Duke, you have to help us.
-Only if you help me with me souffles.
-I can't get 'em to rise!
-You have to get Constance sacked.
-She made us do maths.
-Is that all?
-Why? What else has she done?
-Glad to hear it.
So...how do we get rid of Constance?
-We've gotta call Tracy.
-Running to the Beaker(!)
-Let's hear your ideas, then.
-We're going straight.
She's beaten the Wellards. We haven't got a chance.
-You don't HAVE to fight!
-Hey, no chick tells ME what to do!
I'm not saying that! PHONE RINGS
Hello, National Theatre of Sad-land! Oh, Crash. What's wrong?
No, it sounds great - carry on.
I do what I wanna do, and if you don't like it, you can stick it!
-You're not wrong!
Here - my permission form.
-When did Sid write this?
-He was dressed like a reject from Grease.
-A likely story(!)
Goodbye, Miss Beaker.
-Thanks for distracting her.
-No problem. Come on!
What part of "evil dictator" don't you understand(?)
-Constance has done good work.
She turned it around.
-Know what? You're so right.
-But that outfit is so wrong.
The kitchen has a sprinkler system, which is triggered by smoke...
for example...burnt toast. It's the most genius plan ever invented,
because it's all based on science - the force of magnetism and gravity.
-Always keep it simple...
-..And it can't go wrong.
Constance will be baffled by the laws of physics and chemistry.
The ancient power of toast.
-We'll only let her out if she agrees to leave.
-Don't you know it's dangerous to set booby traps?
It's just a snack. I like my toast...crunchy.
Well, you'd better eat it up, then.
-Shut up! It's Crash and the Beaker. What do YOU want?
Haven't seen you Traverse House lot for a while.
-We had this evil care worker.
-Was that...Constance Carlton?
-Constance COW, we called her.
-Want to get your own back?
-If we knew where she'd gone.
-Oh, come on, Sid. You can do this.
I can't do it. I can't get angry.
-We're gonna have to cancel the show.
-Cancel? It took months to write.
Just say the lines. What kind of wuss can't do that?!
And what would YOU know?
You don't know what it's like in front of an audience!
I think you've got it! That documentary was so...inspiring,
I just had to buy enough potatoes.
We can all keep a potato diary and chart the progress.
Great. What are we waiting for? Let's get out there.
-Come on, then, everybody! Come on, come on!
Did YOU do this? Sian!
-You got a problem?
-You should be doing your homework,
-Homework's for losers.
-We don't need to worry about vegetables.
You've stopped eating vegetables?!
But I only left three days ago! A whole year's work ruined!
Duke! I got your text messages. What's up? Where's Constance?
Said she had to go back to Traverse House.
She never even tasted my souffle.
Right, you lot! What have you been doing to poor old Constance?
What's all this in aid of?
-We realised how lucky we are to have you.
-Yeah? What do you want?
-Seriously, never, never go away again.
Unbeatable, unbelievable, unmissable Beaker!
-What's the Brownhurst Academy?
-It's Jackie's letter!
-It's a sports academy Jackie applied to.
-No, Jackie doesn't read YOUR stuff!
-Give it here!
What? Leave me alone!
Bin, bin, bin, bin!
-I've got it! I've actually got it!
-Can I have your room?!
You are happy, aren't you? You are going to take it?
-It's none of your business!
-You're already packing my bags!
On your marks, get set, go!
And Jackie Hopper is off to a slow start!
Will she make up her pace and get back in the race?
Jackie, calm down! You don't have to decide now.
-I don't wannna think about it at all!
-Look, it's all mine!
-It's from Penelope, my foster grandma.
She loves me very much, so she gave me £100.
-I'm going to spend, spend, spend. Anyone coming?
-OK, let's run for the bus.
-No way! I'm not doing any running all day.
We'll get a taxi, or better still...
-£100?! Unfair, or what?
-WE need grandparents. Then we'd have money!
-And maybe they'll foster us!
-Where do you find grandparents?
-In old folks' homes?
-Yes, they get dumped there!
-We invite them over and wait for the cash!
We don't want old people here. They sleep all the time.
You want money, don't you?
So you're just gonna leave, just move out?
-Tracy, did YOU mind leaving the Dumping Ground?
-It wasn't easy.
But you're happier now?
You know what the hard thing is? There was always people around.
-Cam's place is pretty quiet.
-I can't imagine leaving.
-Are you gonna turn them down?
-I wanna go, but I don't know if I can move again.
-I'm not gonna think about it today.
-OK, let's talk about my £100.
D'you think it's enough to buy a new bike?
And it looks like Jackie Hopper may not be up for this race!
Will she be defeated so soon?!
Yeah, I'm phoning from the Du... Cliffside.
-We wondered if any old people...
-RICH old people!
..nice old people could visit us.
..Because we're lonely. We've all just been dumped here.
-Old people must get lonely. Nothing to do but...
-Count their money!
(No!) ..er, watch Countdown!
We thought we could invite them over for a bit of fun.
The paperwork's not a problem. Sid deals with that.
Yeah? ..Of course. Um...
Sid, they want to talk to you about Form 21C Subsection A.
-Could you lend me 55 quid?
-I've only got 25. It's for new trainers.
You're always buying sports stuff!
Maybe I should look for some more funky shoes today.
Oh, there's some! ..Those there.
-What're you doing?
-I don't have to buy those trainers.
-I can be normal!
-It's not normal to be hypnotised by trainers!
-Will training be much better there?
-Let's talk about something else!
Hopper is first at the finishing line!
-It's like there's some weird force at work here!
-It's like someone is saying...
-Let's get some lunch.
Hello. This is Layla and I'm Lol.
-I like reading.
-I'm into board games.
-I love board games, too.
-You know, I really hate them!
-I do, too!
-Henry, can I take your coat?
-Oh, yes. I'll just take my wallet.
-Lots of money in it?
-Not a bean Just my bus pass!
(I dunno. This seems kinda mean.)
- Let's have a tour. - I'll help! This way! Through here.
(You can't back out now. C'mon.)
Here - make the most of it. It'll be all salady stuff at the Academy.
You'd be better off hanging round people with normal appetites - me.
-This is how much NORMAL people eat?
-It's how much
And what has happened to junior track champion Hopper?!
She has certainly, er...grown in stature since we last saw her.
-Hello. Can I help you?
-Could I have another cup of tea, please?
Or more cake? A nice slice of Battenburg?
-Can I recite you my poem?
-If you must(!)
Poor orphan child, no proper home
Lies in the gutter, lies there alone...
-OK, I give up. Who ARE they?
-They just turned up on the step.
-They'd lost their...
She shivers, she weeps So lonely, so cold...
I said I'd seen it, so they should come in for a cup of tea
while I told them what the dog looked like.
-Surely they know what their own dog looks like?
-Old people can be forgetful, sir. ..Cuckoo!
-I'll cuckoo YOU!
And as the sun rises The cold light of morn
Shows poor little orphan Quite dead in the dawn.
OK, they can stay, but not for long.
- Would you like me to sing a song? - I'd rather you didn't.
-That second shake was a mistake.
-That third one was a REAL mistake.
-I shouldn't have finished off yours.
-Let's jog it off.
-I can't move!
-And I thought we weren't...!
-You're right. No running.
I think I need some chocolate. ..What? Always room for chocolate!
And this is mine and Roxie's room. Nice, huh?
-Are you sure you don't want to hear my song?
-I drew you a picture.
Hold this. ..And this!
Did you hear when we came in - "Lots of money in it?"
-No! Is that why they're...?!
-I say, Dora, shall we have a bit of fun?
-Oh, yes. I think we should.
Oh, here it is.
-Who are these people?
-Me, my sister Roxie, and my brother.
-Your family fell out of the ugly tree!
-And hit all the branches!
-It's no good - I have to go!
-But people will miss you!
-Layla thinks you're wicked.
-But my training!
-It's not like friends.
What would YOU do if it was you?
-I'd stay where people cared about me.
-They did at the Dumping Ground,
but you still left to live with Cam.
Now, I think Jackie Hopper is determined to give up.
Will she go off on the wrong track?
Or will she return to the race?
What's the big deal? If you love running more than us, just leave!
-Or stay. It's not complicated.
-I suppose, but...
It'd be like leaving Grandpa again. I was so miserable.
And the only person who could make it better wasn't there.
It took ages before I felt at home.
I don't wanna go through that again, not if I've got a choice.
-There's nothing interesting in there.
Dance mats! Our Jody's got one of these! I'm ever so good!
Let's go back to the lounge.
-You've got no rhythm!
-You're not like grandparents!
-We don't want to be your grandparents!
Maybe some money will fall out of my pockets while I'm dancing(!)
-I want another go! You're hogging it!
-I beat you, so it's my go!
-(We have to make them go.
-But the plan!
-The plan failed.)
Tea's up! I thought our guests might like...
No, I think we've outstayed our welcome!
Come along, dear. ..I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
-And I'm certainly not deaf!
-I suggest if you want pocket money,
you earn it! ..Thank you!
I wish they'd liked us. I really want a grandparent.
You've got me. I'm like your grand-brother.
I'm better than both of those two put together.
-So have our friends departed?
-And this was your idea?
Good. Since you liked them so much, you're going to work at their home
-during half term. A couple of hours a day.
-Great idea, Lol(!)
-You agreed to it.
-"We'll make big money!"
This race is definitely giving young Hopper some problems.
Will she stay the course?
-So it'll be too hard to leave?
Friends are more important than running.
I'll miss running.
I was wrong. You should go to the Academy.
You don't have to choose between running and friends.
We'll still be here for you.
Even if some of us are a bit unhelpful!
-I'll miss you.
-I'll come and visit.
I'll get Cam to drive me and I'll write every day.
-OK, every week.
You're gonna be a great runner.
-You're gonna make loads of new friends, just as good as us.
And Jackie Hopper finishes the race!
This girl has got a great athletics career ahead of her!
Bet they're not as cool as us!
Are you all right?
Subtitles by BBC Broadcast - 2005
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