Cash Cows/Telling Tales The Story of Tracy Beaker

# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through

-# It doesn't matter What may come my way...

-No! No!

# Believe me now I will win some day. #

-ALL CHANT: Celebrities falling over! Celebrities falling over!

-All right, keep your wigs on!

-Celebrities falling over!

-Lol, saved you a seat.

Sorry mate, I promised I'd sit with Bouncer.

ALL CHANT: Celebrities falling over! Celebrities falling over!

And we're away.

-Hurry up, we're missing the show.

-Someone's deleted all the settings.

Justine's always messing with the remote.

-I'll mess with your head if you don't watch it.

-Can you fix it, Bounce?

-I'll try.

-You're a genius.

-Er...it may take a while.

-But we'll miss the programme.

You know, if we had a digital plasma screen...

-ALL: Get you!

-Used to something a bit more bling?

I was just saying.

Bit of a loner, ain't he?

HE ROARS

We should be doing homework, not messing about.

You're becoming a right Goody Two-shoes, Rio Wellard.

No, I'm not, but if Mike catches us playing with this, we'll be grounded till we're 50.

Quick, put it in reverse.

It's stuck. Go in and get it.

Why me? This was your idea.

Fine, I'll go in. At least I'll be away from the smell of chicken!

Chick chick chick chicken!

< Wolfie, can you come to the office for a moment, please?

Roxy!

Quick! Hide!

Right, I thought you should know, another one of these came for you today.

-I don't want it.

-There's plenty of kids in here would give their right arm for something like this.

Just put it in the drawer with the others.

OK, your call.

Boy, that was close. What you doing?

-Looking through the drawer, stupid.

-Roxy! That's private.

-So?

-They might come back.

-Laid an egg yet, chicken boy?

What is it?

Over £1,000, all in cheques made out to Wolfie. His parents must be loaded.

And he obviously doesn't want it. All the more for us.

You're not going to steal it?

There's more than one way to skin a wolf. We're gonna be his new best friends.

-You mean, make him like us so much that he gives us the money?

-Exactly.

But pretending to be mates with him just to get something, isn't that a bit mean?

Over £1,000, Rio! Think about it.

We could take a holiday - you, me and Chantal.

The Wellards, back together again!

HE WHISTLES

SHE BURPS

Finally, the Wellards are in the money.

-What money?

-Mind your own business.

Oh, Mike!

Rio and Roxy are plotting something.

Lol, fancy a game of footie?

Sure, if I can be Michael Owen.

Bouncer! Where d'you come from?

I've found a wobbly banister.

Someone could have an accident.

Never noticed that.

How about we fix it, together?

-Well, can't Mike do it?

-Cutbacks. He's rushed off his feet.

Come on, Barry. It's dead simple.

Don't call me simple, Paul.

Not you, Barry, the banister! Come on, let's go and get a screwdriver.

-Screwdriver, come on then. Let's go. Screwdriver.

-Come on.

Maybe we can have that game of footie later?

DOOR CLOSES

Right, time to move in for the kill.

Wait. None of us have really been that friendly with Wolfie before, he might get suspicious.

What do YOU suggest, Einstein?

-We need a beard.

-A beard?

-I'm only ten!

-No, idiot!

A person who acts as a disguise for us.

Someone sweet and friendly.

We're already splitting the cash three ways.

Don't want anyone else muscling in.

So we don't tell them the real reason.

We just need to find the right person.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Hey, anyone fancy making some sock puppets?

Seen Wolfie?

He's in the games room, I think.

-Why?

-Got a present for him.

Ain't his birthday, is it?

No, his aura's been quite dark lately.

We just wanted to cheer him up.

Who's "we"?

Me, Rebecca and the Wellards. Those guys are so thoughtful, aren't they?

But I don't understand.

-It's nothing.

-Just a gesture to show how much we care.

And that we want to be friends.

I don't know what to say. No-one's ever done this for me before.

-Coffee cream's my favourite.

-We want to know all your favourite things, Wolfie.

Well, I love the Harlem Globetrotters,

building dens, hunting for toads.

That's our favourite thing too.

Yeah, totally.

Come on, let's go make a nice padded box for the toads.

I'll go get my wellies.

-Talk about a piece of cake!

-In a week he'll like us so much, he'll beg us to take his money.

£1,000!

We'll be rolling in it!

How come Wolfie never said he was rich?

Cos he knew slime balls would take advantage.

He'll be gutted when he finds out that's why that lot are sucking up to him.

-We need to tell him.

-Yeah. If he wants to hide his cash away, that's his business.

Mmm, seems like an awful waste, though.

Imagine what you could buy with that kind of cash.

Justine's right. We can't let Wolfie waste that dosh.

-What do we do?

-Play those snakes at their own game.

-Suck up to Wolfie too?

More like doing him a favour, protecting him.

Showing him who his real mates are.

If he wants to thank us with cash, that's up to him.

Exactly. We've got work to do.

And remember, this isn't for us, it's for Wolfie.

I can't believe it. A whole hour searching, and not one toad.

We still had fun, didn't we?

Best day of my life.

Me too. Thanks, guys.

Wolfie, just the person. We heard you like the Harlem Globetrotters.

So why don't we go shoot some hoops?

-What, me and you guys?

-Who else? Come on!

I do believe we have a contest on our hands.

I suppose I'd better be getting back then.

-What is that?

-"Mike loves Elaine"?

Mike, I think a letter would have been more personal.

Oh, ha ha.

This is somebody's idea of a joke.

Probably kids from the village.

We'll clean it up for you.

Oh, thanks, lads.

Oh, we will, will we?

Oh, come on, bruv. Another job for the Chuckle Brothers, eh? Eh?

I don't do cleaning.

All hail to King Wolfie.

You've won the Dumping Ground competition, King For A Day.

Since when has there been a...

Since this morning, Brainiac.

You get to do whatever you like.

Borrow people's stuff, wear people's clothes, eat whatever you want.

But...why me?

We didn't pick you, Wolfie, the universe did.

It knows when you need a friend.

King for a day, can't top that.

ALL: Surprise!

For me?

-We knew how much you liked building dens.

-Cheers, guys,

you're the best mates ever!

I think it's time we had a little chat. Don't you?

I know your game. Well, we saw Wolfie first and he's ours!

You can't own people, Roxy.

-You can't pretend to like them cos you want their money.

-YOU never bothered with Wolfie before.

What? So, you've lied to me!

You said this was to cheer him up, not to take his money.

Am I hearing right?

You've been competing for Wolfie's friendship, cos you heard he's got a few quid?

Cos if you have...

You're like my parents.

They try to buy me off with presents to make up for what they did to me.

I thought you cared about me, but it turns out you're just the same.

Wolfie!

Wolfie.

Wolfie, wait!

Wolfie, not in there, it's not safe!

Quick, get him out!

Wolfie!

-You all right there, mate?

-Yeah, I think so.

Give him some air. No harm done.

-You scared us to death.

-We were really worried.

-Honestly?

-Honestly.

-Someone's taken the screws out.

-What idiot would do that?

-Me.

-What?!

I don't understand.

When I fixed the TV for everyone, it felt like I was home again.

And I figured, as long as there was things for me to fix then...

You had reason to stay.

So, the banister, the graffiti, that was you too?

Wolfie could have been really hurt.

I know. It was stupid. I'm so sorry.

The show's over. Bouncer, looks like you have a real job to do now.

-Reckon you can fix that?

-Sure can.

Wolfie, I'm so sorry. We thought we did this for you, but it was partly about the cash.

But it's you we really care about. Money's not important.

Money in itself isn't bad, guys, depends what you do with it.

I know, and I've been thinking.

It's time I spent my cash wisely.

You know, Barry, I reckon this is the best pinball machine in t'country.

You're right there, brother. Lucky our mate had a few bob to pay for it.

Someone mention my name?

Oi, you! Stick around, there's more Beaker to come.

SCREAMING

This is so unfair.

-We were only having a laugh!

-Elaine, where's your sense of humour?

I am sick of being the target of your practical jokes.

You? A target?

Whatever gave you that idea?

Left a bit. No, no, no, right a bit.

This way. Whooosh. Steady.

Fire!

Chill, Elaine. Egg yolk is good for your hair.

This is not on. I've had enough of you and I...

SHE SNIFFS

Mike! What happened?

-Rio was being "helpful".

-You asked me to put the bins out.

Out the bedroom window?!

CRASH, FLY BUZZES

You kids have no respect for us.

Mike's right. You stay here for an hour and reflect on your behaviour.

-ALL: Oooooohhh(!)

-You're so strict Elaine!

Which is good. Strictness is necessary in your work.

Pity we can't hang around to admire it.

-Where are you going?

-We'd love to stay, but we've made plans.

Shelley! What a nice surprise.

All the usual suspects, I see.

Plus a new face. You must be Rio Wellard.

And you are?

-I'm Shelley Appleton. I'm your temporary head care worker.

-Hi, Shelley.

Sorry. Mike Milligan. I'm your temporary care worker, cook and general Mr Fix-it.

Well, Mr... Fix this!

Are you two responsible for this?

Who, us?

WATER DRIPS

WATER GUSHES

Right, I'm in charge now and I'm gonna start by upping punishment times.

Excellent idea!

Let's see, there are five of you, so five hours sounds about right.

-That's all day!

-Yep!

-What are we supposed to do?

Amuse yourselves(!)

That shouldn't be too hard.

Easy!

I'm something beginning with "B".

Bored.

Give me a "B".

ALL: B.

-Give me an "O".

-Forget it. I can't believe you idiots soaked Shelley.

Stop moaning, it could be worse.

-Like how, exactly?

-Shelley could have made us taste her cooking.

-What's so bad about that?

-Trust me.

You never want to go near her spaghetti Bolognese. Eugh!

I realised as soon as I saw it, her sauce was part of an evil plot.

That stuff was dangerous in the wrong hands, and something told me Shelley's were the wrong hands.

This sauce would spell disaster for kids everywhere.

One drop of the stuff and your childhood was gone.

It was an age accelerator.

The whole planet had just 15 minutes left

at gas mark four.

We were up against an evil genius that planned to make the universe an adult-only zone.

All adults were beamed up to Shelley's space ship before they turned grey and wrinkly.

The kids of planet earth were doomed.

There was only one chance.

Build their own space ship and fight back.

A few tweaks...and it was ready.

OK, time to lock and load.

Everyone wanted to pilot the beast,

but there was only one guy up to the job.

Fasten your seat belts.

Operation Spag Bol is...

..gooooooooo!

Shelley thought her plan was foolproof. Yeah, right.

SHE GASPS AND SCREAMS

They sent their best fighters,

but with the fate of the world's children at stake, nothing stopped us.

It looked like an impossible task...

for a normal kid, that is!

Time was running out, but he listened to the inner voice.

-Lol, let the sauce be with you!

-Oh, no!

-NO!

-Shelley's sauce was about to explode.

He had just seconds to escape.

Bags of time!

Mission Spag Bol is complete.

THEY CHEER

And the staff never bothered us again.

What do you want, Grandad?

Charming(!)

-I'll keep these for myself then.

-No!

-Wait!

Enjoy! But...don't tell Shelley.

You're a star.

"What a star"(!)

You think he's Mr Nice Guy, don't you?

Think again.

Mr Nice Guy is just a front.

Really he's Mad Mike.

He's secretly out to destroy everything we kids love.

Can no-one save the Dumping Ground kids from the invincible...

..Mad Mike?

Wait! What's this? Is it a boy or is it a spider?

# Tarantula Boy!... #

No, it's Tarantula Boy.

There was a time when he was just an average care-home kid.

He was forced to work 30 hours a day, nine days a week.

But no matter how spotless he made the place, Mad Mike always found dirt somewhere.

The poor little boy looked doomed.

Tarantula Boy, one. Big Hairy Monsters, nil.

Life was never quite the same after that.

He'd found his true destiny.

Tarantula Boy was born.

Oi! No-one grows extra limbs and threatens me and my mates.

Take this, and that.

Take this, you big hairy monster.

Oops.

Tarantula Boy, one.

Big Hairy Monsters, one. He needed help, but who?

Who could he turn to?

They knew exactly what to do.

Was time running out for Tarantula Boy?

Of course not.

Take that!

Poor Mad Mike, not a leg to stand on.

Tarantula Gang, two.

Big Hairy Monsters, one. Finished!

Someone get the straitjacket.

Only easing the boredom. Beats looking at your ugly mug.

It was you and your dustbin gag got us here in the first place.

-And your stupid water fight didn't?

-Don't go blaming me!

Quiet! Will you keep the noise down?

Why should we? This is barbaric! Social Services will hear about this.

I AM Social Services.

"I AM Social Services"(!)

-Oh, she's such a pain.

-She's harmless.

She's stupid, but she's harmless.

She's not as stupid as she makes out.

Once she ruled over an entire kingdom,

a land where kids were locked up just for being kids.

The evil child-catching beast that lived there hated all children.

The streets weren't safe and everyone hid.

This was a creature so hideous, no-one dared to look at its face.

The child catcher could smell a victim several miles away.

Don't be scared, my lovelies!

Come and get your presents!

These two poor, unfortunate souls didn't stand a chance.

SHE LAUGHS MANIACALLY

They were locked up and the key thrown away.

They needed a hero to rescue them but Tracy was fed up of always saving the day.

And so she left.

No! Come back, Tracy! We need you. Help us!

So with Tracy gone, the inmates settled down to a lifetime of chore-and-housework horror.

But being the unselfish, wonderful, superhero she is,

Tracy decided to drop some presents off to her old mates.

But these weren't soft, cuddly teddy bears.

These were Dumping Ground kids!

The child catcher didn't give up easily,

but I soon had her dancing to a different tune.

MUSICAL BOX PLAYS

ALL: Go, Tracy!

CHEERING

Sorted. Everyone rescued!

CLOCK TICKS

Five hours are up. I think that lot will have definitely got in line by now.

BOTH: Definitely.

< LAUGHTER

-What are you doing?

-We're amusing ourselves.

-Like you said.

-We found something that makes us laugh.

-Barking.

-Stupid!

-Mad!

-Oh, what's that?

-ALL: You!

ALL: Freedom!

Oh, it's good to be back!

# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through

-# And the fight won't get me down

-No! No!

# My dreams will turn things All around

# With a smile upon my face I can see a better place

-# It doesn't matter What may come my way...

-No! No!

# Believe me now I will win some day. #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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