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# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through
-# It doesn't matter What may come my way...
# Believe me now I will win some day. #
Must be an easier way to earn pocket money!
Mike! The new girl's here!
I tried... >
Don't worry, Elaine. We'll help you.
For a small fee.
Elaine, you OK? Thank you. Oh, dear.
-Hi. I'm Layla.
-You two will be sharing a room.
Oh, good. My crystal says you're really nice.
I am going to like it here.
I can feel really positive vibes!
-What's up, Marco?
-Someone nicked your spaceship?
It's Mother's Day tomorrow.
-I know. But at least you've got us.
-Thanks, but I need a mum.
-No, I really need a mum.
-"A Mother's Day special.
"A free plant for every mum who visits our shop." You want a plant?
"..and a free inflatable alien for any child with her".
-I've wanted an alien for ages.
-Can't Mrs Boxer take you?
No, she's looking for the Loch Ness monster.
I'll have to forget it. Mums don't exactly grow on trees.
So, what did you think of Elaine?
My crystal says she's really nice.
Really? We all think she's a pain!
Maybe it just needs polishing.
Guess what? I've got a really wobbly tooth.
-Do you think my tooth fairy will find me now I've moved?
-Mike always gives us a pound.
-That's really nice of him,
but I'm not sure Willow Heather would like that.
Chocolate biscuit? Oh, lovely. Um...
what have I forgotten?
Oh, my! I've lost the new girl!
Chill out. She's with Mike.
You really need help, Elaine.
I know. Everything seems to be getting on top of me.
I'm on a roller coaster of mayhem and disaster.
-Even simple things go pear-shaped...
Get a grip and sort your life out, before you completely crack up!
Elaine, stop moaning and sort yourself out!
You're right. I have to do something.
-Thank you, Justine. I'm going to change my life.
-Go for it!
Say goodbye to the old Elaine and hello to the ne...
Where's my coat?
-Don't panic, it's us.
-Happy Mother's Day.
-Today is your lucky day.
-Which mum d'you want?
-Don't choose him. He's got a big bum.
-don't have hairy legs.
-Choose me, and get a supply of chocolate cakes.
-It's up to you,
Pick your mum, and get your alien.
-I can't remember what my mum looks like.
-We're better than nothing.
You're too small.
Your clothes are horrible.
You're too scary.
-It'll have to be you. Even though you need a shave.
-Yes! Oh, yes!
Well, he didn't choose you lot, did he?
-This mirror will balance out the Yin and the Yang.
-Oh, is that good?
Now let's put the tooth in.
Oh, no, don't put it there! It's really bad feng shui!
Can we put it right in the middle, so the energy flows smoothly around it?
I want everything to be perfect.
Oi! New girl!
Hi, I'm Alice.
What's that pile of junk?
A fairy palace.
-Oh, great. Another weirdo.
-Only babies believe in rubbish like that.
-Don't be so mean, Roxy.
Oooh, I'm scared.
Don't set the fairies on me! They might bite my kneecaps!
Don't worry about her.
She's all right.
She seems quite nice, really. Maybe she just needs her aura cleansed.
Go under the stairs! Go, go, go!
It's sorted. Goodbye.
-Is that Elaine?
It can't be.
-Good morning, everyone!
-The new, improved Elaine.
Well, thank you. After speaking to Justine,
I saw a life coach, which will benefit us all.
Now, as it's Mother's Day, inevitably a difficult day for children in care,
I've prepared a few treats.
-Mmm, my favourite!
-Hey, Alice, no fairy cakes.
-Nice one, Justine!
-Thanks. I'm a miracle worker. I've transformed her.
-It'll end in tears.
I don't know if this is such a good idea. I don't feel very...mumsy.
But, Bouncer, you promised.
OK, but you lot got to stay outside. And no peeping.
Mum's the word...Mum!
-And no taking the mickey.
-HE BREATHES DEEPLY
Listen carefully. I've some changes to announce.
-Firstly, I'm introducing compulsory fitness sessions.
In your dreams!
-A healthy body makes a healthy mind.
-She'll have to catch me first.
And secondly, I shall be inspecting your bedrooms this afternoon.
Cluttered, untidy rooms reflect cluttered, untidy lives.
Unfortunately, pocket money will have to be withheld
until the right attitude is attained.
There you are, sir.
Can I have an alien, please?
Not you again!
Look, I told you yesterday.
It's a Mother's Day promotion. For that, you need to bring your mother.
But I have.
-How about a nice romantic dinner, sweetheart?
-I'm on a diet.
-I know a place where they do great salads.
-I'm allergic to lettuce.
One leaf and I go all puffy, like a big puffy puffball...
It's not a pretty sight, really.
-And then there's the 50% chance of me exploding.
-You're funny, too.
I like that in a woman.
You wouldn't like my little monkeys. They come with me wherever I go.
-Mummy, we're hungry.
-Can we have some crisps?
-What lovely children! Go on, give us your number.
-We must be leaving now.
Don't be shy. I think you're a lovely lady.
-IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:
-You're not a woman!
-I don't have time for silly games!
-Wait! Please don't be angry.
-He's only dressed up because I haven't got a mum.
-What do you mean?
-We live in a care home.
-Oh, I see.
Well, you should've just told me in the first place.
Can I still have the alien?
Go on, then.
We don't have mums either.
Neither do I.
I'll have a potted plant, though, if it's all the same.
Recycle...rubbish... recycle...don't need.
-This is so empowering, isn't it, Alice?
-Clearing out unnecessary baggage.
-You're the only unnecessary baggage!
How extremely immature.
-You don't mind me inspecting your room first, do you, Alice?
-This is well spooky.
-Where is everything?
I think I might know where they've gone.
-Take me to your leader, Marco.
This is all your fault, Justine Littlewood.
-What have I done now?
-The new Elaine threw away Alice's fairy palace.
Look, I don't want any fuss.
It's OK. Here, look, I managed to save my tooth.
Oh, no. I've created a monster.
Now, doesn't this look better, more efficient and smoother-running?
It's called streamlining.
No, it isn't.
It's messing with people's dreams. This is Alice's fairy palace.
You threw it out while you were clearing out the clutter.
The old Elaine might have been a total muppet,
but she'd never do something like that.
There you go Alice.
Thanks, Elaine. Thanks, Justine.
Good as new.
Don't worry, I'll do that.
-Shall I be Mum? Would you like a cup of tea, Elaine?
Bouncer, you can stop now. Please?
Don't go changing channels. I know where you live.
How could you do this to me?!
-Tracy, will you...calm down?
-What's going on?
-Say what you just said to me.
I want someone to witness what you said.
-Tracy, would you like to go away for the weekend?
-Can you believe this?!
-Cam, what were you thinking?
-It's not funny.
-It's with me and Gary.
-Oh. Is that so bad?
I just want the three of us to go away and have a lovely time.
But I can't have a lovely time if he's there!
Fine. Haven't you got some packing to do?
So, you've upset Cam, and you've done yourself out of a weekend away.
Not a bad morning's work, Tracy.
-Aren't you being unreasonable?
-Go after her and say you were wrong.
-Why should I?
-It's about time you started thinking of others.
You're just being childish.
Childish?! Who do they think they are? It's Cam's fault.
-How can she go away with Gary?
The minute monkey-features turns up, it's "I'll do what I want, you please yourself."
I can't believe she'd choose him over me.
He's not that funny, and I've seen better-looking camels.
I can't believe she'd choose him over me!
-I mean, why should I apologise? Are you two listening?
-Er, yeah, course.
If they think I'm being childish, I'll give them what they want.
They're about to be Beakered like they've never been Beakered before.
Glad we could help(!)
-Everything all right, Elaine?
All right, who did this?
Typical. Anything bad happens, blame a Wellard. It wasn't me, right?
What about you, Tracy?
Mike, I can honestly say with my hand on my heart,
it had absolutely nothing to do with me.
ALL: Come on, Tracy!
Come back here, Tracy Beaker!
Since when do I wear tweed?
What do you want?
What's going on?
Don't start on me, I didn't do nothing!
I mean, what are you wearing?
-You can't tell me what to wear cos you're in charge.
-Talk to the hand.
-What are you doing here?
-You being funny?
-I live here.
-Where are you going?
-Anywhere away from here, away from you.
-Don't go, I need to talk to you.
-I don't wanna talk to you!
The world's gone mad.
-Oh, hi, Tracy.
-Oh, Mike, thank goodness you're normal.
-I like to think so.
-This whole place has gone topsy-turvy.
Some things never change.
This is awful.
That is totally uncalled for.
-You're supposed to be supporting me, Tracy Beaker!
All I want to be when I grow up is a chef,
and all you ever give me is criticism.
Well, if that's the case, there's only one place for it.
Is anyone gonna get that?
Tracy, these kids have been driving me mad.
OK, I give up. Who are you supposed to be?
Latest gimmick from head office.
-Come on, you better start getting your act together.
-Do I have to spell it out?
-That might help.
Well, you are head care worker...
-I'm head care worker?!
It's time you pulled your weight.
-These kids have been running me ragged, especially Marco.
-Bonkers, but sweet.
-He's a teenager from hell.
-NOTES PLAYED ON PIANO
Come on, I need back-up this time.
Right! That is enough!
-Did you two hear me?
-Tracy Beaker, shut your big, fat gob!
-But, Milly, you don't even speak!
-She's the gobbiest kid in the house.
You got that right, munchkin.
As I'm in charge, apparently, I want this place tidied up.
So, you two, clean the windows until I can see my face in them.
What for? You'll only crack 'em! CHILDREN LAUGH
You think that's funny? After that, you can sort the mess in the kitchen
-and then do the upstairs bathrooms.
Yes way! Or you'll have no dinner and TV will be banned for life,
and that's just me getting started!
You can't do that!
I'm sorry. Hands up all head care workers in the room.
Oh, just me, then.
Good, get on with it!
-Er, this includes you.
-I don't think so. I'm going out with my mates.
No, you're not. Privileges are cancelled.
I'm so gonna get you back for this.
Well, I've got the power and I'm enjoying it.
I'm living the dream, Roxy. This a piece of cake.
Just wanted you to take a look at the kids' menus for this week.
I need an increase on the budget. I don't know where the food goes.
Your, erm, size.
Yeah, I have lost a few pounds. I've cut out snacks in between meals.
-What are you doing?
-Collecting my stuff, I've been sacked.
-What in the name of McFly are you?
-The home inspector - your boss.
No! Not you! Anyone but you.
And this is my fellow inspector.
-That's Mr Crash to you.
-Could I borrow a pen, please, darling?
A customary greeting for a fiance.
You're getting married? To her?!
Tomorrow. Not that it's any of your business, Miss Beaker.
You've got to be joking. You can't marry her.
Right, I think it's time for my inspection now.
-Where are the children?
-In the lounge, tidying up.
I run a tight ship here.
CAR HORN, SCREAMING They've just gone overboard.
CAR HORN TOOTS
This looks more like a sinking ship to me, Miss Beaker.
It's not my fault - they're out of control.
Now, it's a poor social worker who blames their children.
-Will somebody please tell me what's going on?
That minger made me clean the toilets with my toothbrush.
That's a lie!
We wouldn't act up at all if she didn't lock us in.
It's just a cry for help.
-Is this true?
-No! Cam, tell Crash the truth.
-Do you mean about starving us as well?
-You don't believe this rubbish?
'You'll have no dinner...for life.'
I did not say that. She's doctored the tape, badly. Isn't that right?
If I say yes, can we have some food? We're all so hungry.
-That's all I need to hear. You are sacked!
Think yourself lucky we don't involve the police.
I can't let Justine Littlewood sack me and walk away with Crash.
-Just go and tell them you made it up.
-You're being unreasonable!
You can't treat people like this.
-Just go and tell them you were wrong.
-Don't want to.
-You're being childish.
-'It's time you started thinking of others.'
It's time you started thinking of others.
-Please don't marry Justine.
Take it easy, that's quite a bump you've had.
It's so good to be back.
-You all right, Tracy?
-Cam, I am so sorry.
-For being me, I suppose, and for being unreasonable.
You ought to run into doors more often.
-What's up with you?
How are you feeling?
Yeah, a lot better, thanks.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I was totally out of order earlier.
Tracy Beaker apologised!
Yeah, and all it took was a crack to the head.
This could rewrite all those child-care books.
That's enough excitement for today.
You're gonna have to leave her alone now and give her some rest.
-You all right, Tracy?
-Yeah, thanks to you, Marco, and you, Milly.
Everything's back to normal.
MILLY: 'Tracy Beaker, shut your big, fat gob!'
# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see my through
-# And the fight won't get me down
# My dreams will turn things All around
# With a smile upon my face I can see a better place
-# It doesn't matter What may come my way...
# Believe me now I will win some day. #