Bouncer's Kitchen/Love All The Story of Tracy Beaker

# I can make my world come true

# All my dreams will see me through

# Doesn't matter what may come my way

# Believe me now I will win some day. #

Oh! Oh, bother! Oh!

It's OK. Just click "Undo".

There you go.

I knew that.

-Of course I knew that.

-Sure you did.

Typical careworker.

That's typical Head Careworker to you! A very busy Head Careworker.

Whatever.

So, is this just a social visit?

No, I had something to tell you, um...

Oh, yeah.

-There's load of smoke pouring out of the kitchen.

-What?!

SMOKE ALARM BLEEPS Oh, no! Oh, no.

Maybe we could pick out the burnt bits?

We'd have an empty dish. What's your point?

It's not working, is it?

I can't be Head Careworker and cook.

D'you want me to take care of lunch?

-You know what to do.

-Hello, Krazy Fried Chicken? Yes, me again!

Can I have two super-sized Megabuckets and six bottles of cola.

Yeah, can you charge it to Elm Tree House as usual?

-Cheer up, Mike. You're doing a great job.

-Really?

-Yes.

Get extra chips and garlic bread!

So, I've decided that we need a full-time cook at Elm Tree.

-I was doing fine!

-Ordering fried chicken's not exactly cooking.

-I ordered pizzas and curries too!

-Anyway, I've found a new cook.

He's doing a course in Catering and Nutrition Technology.

He's got great ideas for the Elm Tree menu.

Tracy's got great ideas!

-Yeah, we're having kebabs on Wednesday!

-Kebabs! We want kebabs!

-We want kebabs!

-Shut up, you lot!

-Just give the new chef a chance!

-Why?

-All right, bro?

-Bouncer!

Bounce, this is great. The Plakovas are finally running this joint!

Well, it had to happen one day.

-Milly wants to know what's for tea?

-Wouldn't you like to know?

-Yes, that's why we're asking.

Well, I can't tell you.

It's a surprise. But I will tell you this, it's very special.

What is this?

It's your first macrobiotic meal.

Steamed cabbage, brown rice and - special treat - mung beans.

-These beans never came out of a tin!

-None of this is out of a tin!

-It's all unprocessed, whole and natural.

-I love natural food.

But that's just me. I have to keep away from additives. They make me go a bit loopy-loo.

No worries with my food! It's perfectly balanced.

Ying and yang in perfect harmony.

Mmmm. You can really taste the yang.

Can't you just cook normal food?

This is what Hollywood stars eat!

Yeah, Shrek's donkey!

Please don't fight. The tension's bad for your digestion!

-So's this food!

-Your brother seems to like it.

-Don't get excited. He'll eat any old crud.

-I can't eat this.

Sure you can.

Just use your imagination, OK!?

Mmm, nice, juicy flies.

I think I'll just eat toothpaste instead.

Good idea!

Come on, Rio!

-I'm not finished.

-NOW!

It's just the first day. I'm sure they'll come round. Won't they, Lol?

You were right! They're shovelling down my oatmeal with soya milk.

You'll eat anything when you're starving. It was this or eat my own hair. Believe me, it was close.

-Stop! You won't even taste my food!

-That's the point.

-Right that is it.

I'm banning all junk from now on.

No sauces, pop, crisps or biscuits.

-They make you hyperactive and manic.

-My best qualities!

Oh, how we'll miss them(!)

What are you doing, bruv?

It's for their own good. You have to break your addiction to additives.

-It's out of control.

-I'll show you out-of-control!

-No! We need more love in this room.

-Yeah, stop the hate, man!

-What's wrong with you?

-It's the food.

It's been Bouncered!

Becky!

What is that sound - could it be Charlotte Church singing(?)

-Shut it, Beaker.

-You called?

-How dare you touch my stuff.

I only tidied our room. I thought it would be a surprise.

Well, I hate surprises. Put it back like it was.

Of course I will. But first, I got you a present.

It's your favourite top.

It'll look loads better on you.

Did that just happen?

OK, this is just getting creepy.

All the tension, all the anger.

Just breathe it out and push it away.

What are you doing? I thought it was you and me against the world!

-Why do we have to be against anything?

-Cos we DO.

House meeting, now! Agenda - get rid of Bouncer and his manky meals!

Sorry, Tracy but we like Bouncer's food.

-You're welcome to join our yoga circle, though.

-Yeah, right(!) Om!

That's the spirit! Let's all follow Tracy's mantra. Om!

Om!

-Bouncer was right!

-Yeah, I suppose we were eating too much rubbish.

No! He said additives make you hyperactive and out of control.

Without them, the Dumping Ground will never be the same. We have to get them back. Who's with me?

-Me.

-Jackie, what about you?

-There's no need to take sides.

-Crash?

-Just chill, Beaker.

Justine?

Can't. I'm buying Rebecca a present.

-Don't tell her, though, it's a surprise.

-You are kidding me?

No, it's like I'm finally at peace with myself.

-Me and Milly say we'll help you, Tracy.

-Thanks, you two.

OK, guys, and, uh, spider.

Let's get our additives back before we all turn...

nice.

So you wind me up for weeks and weeks about my cooking,

and now you want me to take it over again?

Yep. Can't wait for Mike's Special Fish Surprise!

-You said it smelt like sewage worker's wellies.

-In a good way.

-You said it tasted like bin juice.

We like bin juice!

See? It's a compliment!

You are not gonna get around me that easily. Things have been nice and quiet here since Bouncer took over,

and that's the way... # Uh-huh, uh-huh I like it, uh-huh... #

What? It's a joke!

Come on, lighten up!

I am the tree of the universe.

The winds of love blow through my every leaf.

What are you doing?

Isn't it beautiful? Rio's written a poem, and we're exploring our emotions through movement!

-Come on guys, join in!

-Join us.

-Join us.

-No, Milly!

-Marco, we have to get out of here!

-I can't leave her!

Join us...join us...join us....

join us...join us...

All right, I give up.

-Where's the taste?

-Sorry.

Taste would destroy the natural balance of ming and mank.

Ying and yang.

You guys actually LIKE this?

Course they do! It's about time they had some healthy food.

Oh, as opposed to mine, I suppose?

-No offence, like.

-Please don't fight!

-We're not!

OK, I know how to solve this once and for all.

-How?

-A cooking contest.

-The loser never cooks at the Dumping Ground ever again.

-And who judges this contest?

-Isn't it obvious? Me!

-You?

-No way!

-I think we should find a neutral judge.

Can't we make it a contest where everyone wins?

Yeah!

Competition really misaligns your...

Chakras.

OK...those two.

You're on.

-Want a bite?

-I don't eat bread any more.

Shame.

Dried tofu?

Bulgur wheat? Bruv, you don't actually like this stuff?

Of course I do. It's natural...and it's healthy,

and then there's the ying... and the yang.

-For the love of Billie Piper, give me that cheese sandwich!

-Bounce...

who are you trying to impress, mate?

There's this girl on my course.

Women?

Your second greatest weakness.

What's her name?

Eh, Forest Rain Mountain Blossom.

Her real name.

Lucy Jones. She only goes out with macrobiotic vegans. I was trying to prove I'm good enough for her.

Of course you are. But cook healthy NORMAL food for the kids - don't turn them into robot aliens.

-Macrobiotic vegans.

-Exactly.

You're right.

I should do some real cooking.

That's mine.

We can't rely on the hippy twins to pick the winner. It's sabotage time.

I need you to distract Bouncer while I chuck a load of chilli powder in his food.

-What's wrong?

-It seems so mean. Poor Bouncer, he's worked so hard.

Oh, Roxy, not you too!

Sorry, Tracy. I can't fight it any more. I've got to give Rio a hug.

Ladies and gentlemen, steamed broccoli, Brussels sprouts, organic cuscus

and...

bancha twig tea.

Mmmm, delicious.

-Yes!

-OK, well you've tried the rest, now try the best!

Pasta a la Bouncer.

Chicken in a tomato sauce.

And to drink...

for a special treat only, fizzy pop.

Better not. Additives and me, not a pretty sight.

-You were supposed to cook your usual splodge!

-He should be disqualified!

Judges, take your forks!

-Water!

-Here you go.

-Aaarrgh!

-Alice!

It's the additives! I told you, they make me loopy.

Food fight!

Stop it! Stop...!

Sorry, I don't know what's got into me!

-50 different E-numbers and a bit of chilli!

-I can't believe I started this!

Nor can I. Nice work. And that's coming from a professional.

I can SEE you! So don't even think of going anywhere.

-Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.

-Happy Valentine's Day, Mike.

I can't believe it! 14 Valentine cards, all for me!

-Yeah, and in your own handwriting!

-You're just jealous.

-At least I don't send myself fake ones, psycho!

-Justine, enough!

Today's supposed to be a happy day. Right, everyone, downstairs in the lounge, house meeting.

Elaine has something really exciting to tell you.

No, really, she has.

-A party?

-In here?

-Tonight?

-A Valentine's party!

-Crash, can you make a banner?

-Sure, no worries.

Just one more thing.

-I'd like you all to pair up for this evening.

-We have to ask someone?

A little courtesy is good practice for later in life.

Bouncer, would you do me the honour of...?

Bro, I'd be delighted.

It's a stupid idea. I'm not pairing up with anyone.

Roxy, you're already on gardening duty today for shaving Alice's teddy.

-How about a more positive attitude?

-How about we go together? It'll be fun!

Me, go with you?

What colour is the sky in your world?

Thank you very much, then.

You're right, this party does need a push in the right direction.

Oh, Justine, you must be so worried.

-About what?

-That no-one's will take you to the party.

-You know,

-you're starting to get on my nerves!

-Think about it,

-even your dad prefers your cousin and his mangy dog to you.

-That's it!

-Hey! What's all this about?

I just offered her one of my cards cos she didn't get any, and she went ballistic!

-She started it!

-Justine, you've been picking on Rebecca all morning.

Now get out in that garden. You're on weeding duty with Roxy! Go!

Now we've finished our chart, we can put our plan into action.

But how will we communicate with each other?

Milly, you're a genius.

Hear you've been winding Rebecca up again?

She's such an evil witch! Why am I the only one who can see that?

Forget about her.

I just came to ask...

I mean, if Elaine's really making us pair up for this party.

-What I'm saying is...

-Will I go with you?

As mates, yeah?

As mates? I mean, yeah, course.

All right, then.

Was there something else?

No, nothing else.

-See you later, then.

-Yeah.

-You're WHO?

-Cupid, the messenger of love.

And my message is Elaine wants you to collect greenery from the garden to decorate the lounge.

What sort of greenery?

Um, the green sort.

Anything from the garden. And hurry.

-Cos Elaine wants it really quick.

-So why aren't you out there?

Um, cos I'd pick the wrong stuff.

Come on, there's no time to lose.

-Elaine got you doing this as well?

-Looks like it.

Good to be doing something different for a change.

This party might be a laugh, if it wasn't for the pairing-up thing.

-I've been worrying about asking someone.

-Why don't you come with me?

-At least we'd have fun.

-Deal?

-Deal!

Come in, Red Admiral.

Mission Love Boat accomplished!

Oh, so many choices, I'll just have to disappoint some of them.

Well, you can take him off your list for a start.

-Why?

-Cos he's just asked me to the party. So I guess you'll have to beg someone else to take you.

We'll see about that.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Hello?

Ha-ha, very funny.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Hey, Layla, are you following the hearts too?

-Wonder what's inside.

-Open it.

"The very next person in your sight, that's the one you'll ask tonight."

But that's you.

-Suppose it is.

-Is that OK? Only, if you don't want to...

Don't be daft! It'll be fun.

Brilliant!

Come in, Red Rose.

Mission Love Bug accomplished!

Rebecca! What's wrong?

I made you a Valentine's card, but look what Justine did to it!

Justine did this?

I just wanted you to feel appreciated for once.

But I don't think Justine wanted you to like anyone but her.

I don't know what got into her.

Look, don't let it get to you. You can help me if you like.

Thanks, Crash, you're a real mate.

Come in, Red Tomato?

I think we may have a problem.

-Oh, look, it's Stig of the Dump!

-Have you found a partner or are you going with Rio's pet woodlouse?

Even a woodlouse would look better than you. Look at your hair. Looks like a witch's broomstick.

You know it's not all about hair and lip-gloss and fluttering your stupid eyelashes, you loser.

-Justine, why are you being so cruel to me?

-You can cut the "poor little me" act.

-Get out of my face before I...

-Justine! Stop picking on Rebecca!

What? Referee, are you blind as well as stupid?

Stupid? I guess you won't want to go to the party with Mr Stupid, will you?

Fine.

-I'll go with Rebecca instead.

-Fine!

-Fine!

# ..I feel sorry for mistakes we've made... #

And now a little luuurve song for all you Valentine groovers out there.

Yeah.

MUSIC: "The Birdie Song" by The Tweets

Sorry, it's the wrong track.

Isn't it wonderful?

We look just like twins!

How is that a good thing?

Don't be a spoilsport.

Come on, let's do the fairy waltz!

My life is over.

-You sure Justine wasn't provoked?

-Yeah, she was giving Rebecca a really hard time.

Don't sound right to me.

SHE TAPS MICROPHONE

'Why bother to get dressed up, Justine? Your so-called mates won't notice you're not there.'

-What exactly is your problem?

-You. I'm fed up with you swanning around thinking you're so special.

It's my turn to be Miss Popular.

Your stupid mates haven't a clue what's going on.

'Don't underestimate them, Becky.'

-Sooner or later, they'll see through you.

-I doubt it, I'm a bit too smart for that.

Must dash, got a party to go to.

Don't worry, I'll make sure Crash has a great time

'without you.'

Ciao!

-What are you doing in here?

-Cupid is here to bring love and happiness to all.

Marco, you're a genius!

Just doing my job.

Justinerella, you SHALL go the ball!

Hi, everyone! Isn't this great?

What? Is there something wrong with my dress?

No, your dress is fine. We're just...

-seeing you in a new light.

-Oh, you're so sweet!

Would you like some of Bouncer's passion-fruit pavlova?

Mmm, sounds delicious!

-A big slice?

-Or a small one?

How about the whole thing?

-Someone help me!

-Aren't we too "stupid" to help?

-Mike?

-Sorry, Rebecca, it's our policy not to get involved.

I guess my mates aren't such losers after all.

Guess not.

Sorry, I've been an idiot.

Forget it, it doesn't matter.

For you. I was going to give it to you earlier.

Thanks.

It's lovely.

I'm only giving it to you as a mate.

Course you are.

Besides, we're still young.

Don't want to get tied down with all that romantic slush, do we?

Course we don't.

# I can make my world come true

# All my dreams will see me through

# And the fight won't get me down

# My dreams will turn things all around

# With a smile upon my face

# I can see a better place

# Doesn't matter what may come my way

# Believe me now I will win some day. #