Toddler in Town/Two's a Crowd The Story of Tracy Beaker

What do you think's in there?

-I haven't a clue.

-I've never noticed it before.

-We could open it with a crowbar.

-Yeah!

-There's got to be a key somewhere. I'll have a look.

It could be full of cash.

Maybe it's full of bones

and some poor, tortured soul will haunt the Dumping Ground...

-forever!

-Don't be daft.

There's no such thing as ghosts.

THEY SCREAM

Are you sure you're OK?

I love tomatoes.

-You should sit down.

-Half past two.

-You need to take him to the doctor's, Elaine.

You know what the rules say - two members of staff present at all times.

-This place doesn't run itself, you know.

-Chill out, Elaine.

It's not rocket science. I could run this dump with my eyes closed.

And what's in it for you?

A week of late passes.

Deal?

It doesn't look like we've got much choice.

Bouncer counts as an adult, doesn't he?

Oh, thanks for the vote of confidence, Elaine!

Look, Elaine, you'll only be gone for one or two hours.

What's the worst that can happen?

Listen up, everyone. Thanks to Marco and Milly, we're officially a Mike and Elaine-free zone.

-Whoo-hoo!

-Yeah!

Cool. No-one to tell us what to do, right?

I've got late passes resting on this. So you lot need to get busy.

-Jackie, dusting.

-But...

-Crash, your room seriously needs fumigating.

-What?!

I've known camel houses that smell better.

And Becks, I've left you in charge of the toilet.

Great, I'll use your head as a loo brush.

-You've gotta be joking?

-I'm not.

We need to show Mike and Elaine that we can look after ourselves.

-It's the first step to freedom.

-And what are you going to do?

Supervise.

-DOORBELL

-If you'll excuse me...

Knock and run? Oh, please, is that the best you can do?

Kids.

BURBLING

-So where did he come from?

-I don't know.

Maybe there's a clue in here.

Shouldn't you be getting lunch ready, Sherlock?

Well? What does it say?

"My name's Charlie. Please look after me."

Listen, Charlie, lesson number one in life, parents are rubbish.

Don't worry, I'll look after you.

-Yeah, we'll help you, Justine.

-Beats cleaning up, I suppose.

I don't need anybody's help. He's a toddler. It'll be a doddle.

-How come Justine hasn't got you lot cleaning as well?

-Let her try.

We have more important things to do.

Like trying to open this chest and getting our hands on the treasure.

One...two...three!

Rio, come here.

I don't believe it. Not even a crack.

So what do you think's in there?

-Well, whatever it is, it's ours, right?

-Yeah.

Unless it's something creepy.

Maybe it's something magical, like a time machine.

HE LAUGHS

Can't you play something a little less noisy?

I'm trying to encourage his creative side.

Alice could read his aura. It may help us...

I don't need any hippy-dippy help.

I can tell you lots of things. What he's been through,

-how he's feeling...

-SQUELCH

Ugh!

What he had for breakfast...

-Better change his nappy.

-Why me? You said you wanted to help!

You don't want any hippy-dippy help, remember?

No, it's just that I'm boss and it's my duty to delegate.

What? Too chicken to change a nappy?

I've changed hundreds of Billy's nappies. It's no big deal.

-See?

-Well, go on then. You'd better do it quickly before he...

Move over. You couldn't take care of a potted plant.

Where did you learn to do that?

It's just a nappy.

No big deal.

HE BLOWS RASPBERRY

HE BABBLES

Come on, Picasso. What are you going to draw?

-That's it.

-What's he doing?

He's using my paints.

I think it's what you'd call an...

-Impressionist piece.

-It's what I'd call a mess.

Lesson number two in life, don't listen to your critics.

-He's a bit too close.

-Watch it! He's going to...

Justine! Oh, no!

-He didn't mean it. It was an accident.

-It's all over the place!

He's wrecked my homework! I spent days on that.

-Oh, I can't believe this. It's ruined!

-Oh, now look what you've done.

-Me? You've got a nerve.

-Look, just help me tidy up.

-No chance.

-Please?

-You said you don't want our help, remember?

What's going on? Charlie's crying.

He's fine, aren't you, Charlie?

Charlie? Charlie!

Charlie!

Charlie!

Rio!

-Aaaargh! I've busted my thumb!

-Have you heard of knocking?

-Ever heard of using a key?

It's missing, clever clogs.

-Yeah, well, so's Charlie. Have you seen him?

-Who?

Cute, snotty nose, about this high.

-No.

-Oh, forget it!

-Have you seen Charlie?

-Yeah.

-No.

What have you done?

-He isn't a toy.

-But he was crying.

We just wanted to cheer him up.

By dressing him up in a pink tutu?

Er, Justine...

No, listen, Alice, I'm in charge here today and I've got to look after Charlie.

That's the thing.

He's...gone.

Charlie?

-Charlie? Charlie!

-Have you found him yet?

Well, I did, but I lost him again.

You idiot. I can't believe you lost him twice.

-Just shut up and start looking, will you?

-He could have really hurt himself.

You can't let him out of your sight.

Stop talking like you're an expert. I do have a brother his age.

-Well, you're not the only one.

-What?

I've got a half-brother called Jake. Dad's girlfriend had a baby.

I practically brought him up myself while they went out partying. So I am quite an expert actually.

-Sorry.

-Forget it. I'm going to check downstairs.

Charlie? Charlie?

Charlie?

Oh, Charlie, there you are.

I thought I'd lost you.

You're so cheeky, do you know that?

Just like my brother Billy.

Seeing you kind of makes me want to go back home.

But that's our secret.

Lesson number three in life, never admit defeat.

Oh, please let this be what I think it is.

This is it, Charlie.

Whatever's in this box is ours forever.

No way!

-Yeah, butt out. We saw it first.

-But we found the key.

Lesson number four in life - finders, keepers.

-What is it?

-I don't know.

Maybe it's a giant tarantula.

Or a shrunken head from 100 years ago.

At least it was nothing serious.

-I just hope they've survived without us.

-Seems nice and quiet.

-I can't bear it. Just open it!

-You lot ready?

THEY SCREAM

-You saddo - you screamed like an old lady.

-No, I never.

You thought it was a ghost. Whoooo!

So much for hidden treasure.

Yeah, like that's going to happen in the Dumping Ground.

Lesson number five in life, expect to be disappointed.

I heard screaming!

Blow to your head, does funny things to the senses.

BOTH: Justine?

Mummy.

Justine Littlewood can be very surprising sometimes.

Yeah, she did OK, didn't she?

-So, is Charlie going to stay with us?

-Please?

Sorry, guys, he's just too young.

I've made a few phone calls and I've already arranged temporary foster care for him.

-Don't just stand there. Come and join us.

-Why?

-Well, he's cute.

But he ain't no Michael Schumacher.

What's this, then?

Charlie...

-He'll be OK, won't he?

-Course he will.

Babies are big business.

Last lesson for today, the best time to get dumped is when you're young and cute.

Bye!

-Bye!

-See you.

-Don't tell me, hay fever?

-Yeah.

It's a killer, this time of year.

'Oi, you, stick around. There's more Beaker to come.'

Special Guest Day.

What genius come up with that idea?

Er, hello? We're here cos nobody wants us, remember?

Your dad'll be here soon.

Yeah, where have I heard that before?

Freddie's not here yet either.

You don't think they've forgotten, do you?

Traffic must be bad. That's all.

You're meant to be late for parties.

-It's fashionable.

-Where did you come from?

I'm practising my secret-agent sneaking.

-You're getting good.

-Have you got a guest coming?

The CIA are sending a tough-talking super-agent to help on my mission.

-KNOCK AT DOOR

-That'll be her now.

Milly, tough-talking?

-You better believe it.

-Oh, no. No, I can't believe this is happening!

Must've been something you said.

What did you have to bring dog-face here for?

-Nice to see you too!

-All I wanted was some time with you on my own.

Justine, we have to get this sorted out.

What's to sort? He moved in. I hated him. And I moved out. Sorted.

-Stop it!

-Would anyone like some lemonade?

-Or peanuts?

-No, ta, I'm allergic.

-To lemonade?

-No, to nuts.

They make my throat close up.

-You could die.

-No, it's OK, see, cos I carry this pen.

If I accidentally eat anything with nuts in it, I inject myself.

-It's dead simple.

-Just like you.

You two have a nice day - together!

Justine, wait!

You know, you should really give your cousin a chance.

He's got a lovely aura... all purple and sparkly.

Makes me glad I've got second sight.

If you've got second sight, it needs glasses.

SIREN

Go on! Shoot!

-Oh, Lol!

-# There's only one Rio Wellard!

# There's only one Rio Wellard! #

THEY LAUGH

# Goal! #

-# Ain't we lucky there ain't two... #

-Can I join in?

Sure.

-Would you like some help with that?

-Thank you. I'd love some help.

Would you mind taking these coats inside for me?

No problem. Glad to be of assistance.

-I didn't know you had a guest, Alice.

-I don't.

-Oh. So, whose guest are you, then?

-Roxy's.

-Roxy?

-This is Emily. She's my best mate.

-Any friend of Roxy's is a friend of mine.

Come on, Roxy.

Course. You know me, I love to lend a hand.

Roxy, have you been in the sun too long?

I'm so pleased you came.

It's days like this I really miss Grandpa.

You're doing really well.

And I'm glad to be here.

-Are you tired?

-Tired? Me?

I'm a long-distance runner.

Don't even know the... meaning of the...word.

HE SNORES

-Jackie...

-Shh!

-Where's Justine?

-I thought she was outside with her dad.

No, he's playing footie. With her cousin.

-That can't be good. Come on, let's go look for her.

-Yeah. Hi.

Justine? What you doing in here?

-Teaching my dad a lesson.

-I think he's a slow learner.

You don't have to talk to him. You can hang out with us.

-And give your dad the evils from the sidelines.

-All right, then.

Hi!

Ah, Marco. A word in the office, if I may?

They're taking me in for torture.

Don't worry, Agent Milly, I'll never talk.

After you...

-Greetings, Marco, how's it hanging?

-Sorry, Mr Boxer, that's classified.

Ah, a secret agent, eh?

There's nothing for it, Mrs Boxer.

We'll have to administer the truth drug.

-Ze green vons are ze most powerful.

-Oh, no, not the green ones!

We've got some very exciting news for you, Marco.

The panel have assessed your form F, and...

it's been accepted!

We've finished the paperwork on your fostering.

Your mission is to come and live with us!

Mission accepted.

-I'll just have to brief Agent Milly first.

-Is Milly your friend who never speaks?

Oh, yes. It's all very sad.

Milly's not sad. She's the best friend I've ever had.

Those two are inseparable.

Well, run along then, Marco, and go and brief "agent" Milly.

Good man. Shot!

It's yours, take it on.

-All the way down.

-HE BLOWS WHISTLE Right, game over. Time for tea.

Don't blow the whistle yet, ref, the super-sub's on!

-Er, I think the super-sub's off.

-What's that, lad?

Your hair.

Oh, no, I've gone mouldy!

No. It's green paint.

I'll find out who did this.

- It was her! - Me?

Typical. Something goes wrong, just blame a Wellard's friend.

Her hands were covered in green.

-Yeah.

-You must be confusing me with someone else.

There's no green paint now, Jackie.

-But...I saw her.

-Emily's been with us all afternoon.

Show's over, go on, tea, go.

-Freddie, do you want some help cleaning up?

-Don't worry about it.

I've always wanted to be a punk rocker.

Milly, please don't be angry with me.

I'll visit you all the time.

Every week. Every day.

I'll buy you loads of presents.

I won't forget you.

Milly!

Agent Milly! Do you read me?

OK, then, party people, get ready for Murder By Mocha.

Come on, Justine, cake makes it better.

-Bruv, they're minging.

-What have you put in it?

I didn't make these.

Someone's messed with my mocha.

Cayenne pepper, tomato sauce, cod liver oil and...

-Pickled gherkins. Any chance of seconds?

-John! What's the matter?

You forgot one crucial ingredient. Nuts!

OK, just relax. Everything's going to be fine.

Just breathe as deeply as you can, John. You're going to be fine.

Just relax, yeah?

Coming through!

Step back, everyone.

He just needs an injection.

I thought you'd done a runner.

-Well done, love.

-It's nothing.

So tell me, vot are your problems?

I want to be fostered by the Boxers. They're perfect.

Zen why aren't you happy?

I don't want to leave Milly behind.

You can't be in two places at once.

Tell me something I don't know, Doc!

I can't believe someone sneaked into the kitchen and spiked my brownies.

Right after they'd done Freddie's head. Look!

You know what this is? Sabotage.

Someone's trying to ruin guest day? Yep. And they can't get away with it.

Nobody greens my friends.

-How are you feeling now?

-I'm OK.

-But you nearly had your dad to yourself again there.

-Typical.

-Thanks, Justine.

-It's OK.

-Besides, I've always wanted to stick a needle in you.

-I noticed.

I never meant to come between you and your dad.

If you want your old room back, I'll be fine on the sofa.

Thanks, I'll think about it.

-All right, you two?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Wait!

Someone's booby-trapped the doors.

Er, look what I've found!

I knew it! You are so busted.

-Come out of there!

-Do you think I'm stupid?

You guard the door, I'll get Mike.

He's making it up. Emily hasn't done anything.

OK. Emily, come out with your green hands up!

What's wrong?

You've got to believe me, she was covered in green paint!

-How do you do that?

-Never mind, Emily. They're always making up lies about me, too.

Come on, guys, what's going on here, huh?

-Twins!

-And both evil.

Leg it!

What's all the noise?

What's going on?

Don't worry, Special Agent Marco.

We were attacked but we've got it under control.

Meester and Meesus Boxer, I have invented a machine zat vill turn me into a zuper-bionic foster-child.

But somesing vent wrong.

Ze machine turned me into...

a two-headed monster!

And now you have to foster me and my other head.

Please?

Um...Elaine, I assume a two-headed monster requires more paperwork?

-Yes!

-That's not the point, Mr Boxer.

A child-centric approach is pivotal to my strategy.

-What's that in English?

-I need informed consent from Milly herself.

Oh, Milly...

..do you understand what's going on?

Do you want to go home with these nice people?

Of course I do. Are you mad?!

Let's file form F immediately, I've got some packing to do.

What?

# I can make my world come true

# All my dreams will see me through

# And this life won't get me down

# My dreams will turn things all around

# With a smile upon my face

# I can see a better place

# Doesn't matter what may come my way

# Believe me now, I will win some day. #