The First Witch The Worst Witch

EXCITED CHATTER

So crafty!

Just woke up like this.

(Whatever you do, don't look at Ethel's face.)

Wow.

(Maud!)

(What? It's not as if I can miss it.)

I know. Poor Ethel.

Do you want something?

Erm...you've got something kind of growing on your face.

You mean my wart?

Erm...

Maybe you should see the nurse. She might be able to get rid of it.

-LAUGHTER

-Actually, Mildred,

warts are special for us.

-It's a witch thing.

-Gosh.

Being you must be exhausting.

All this time and you still know absolutely nothing.

You get a lump on your face and suddenly you're the bat's pyjamas.

Not quite.

The last wart I saw was my great, great grandma's.

Smack bang on the end of her nose.

Ethel looks like an old lady and she's glad?

Well, it's a sign of a really powerful witch.

They're crazy rare nowadays, though.

I wish I had a great, great grandma witch to teach me all this stuff.

Ethel's right, isn't she?

I'll never catch up with you lot.

Tell us how you got it, Ethel? Please?

Was it special soap?

Face yoga?

Ooh! Toad-infused moisturiser?

No. No. No.

You're learning loads.

Yeah, take today -

I've learned that warts are old-fashioned and trendy

at the same time.

I suppose our world can be quite confusing.

No kidding! You're doing your hair.

To me, that means you want your bunches extra curly.

-But in witch world...

-I want my bunches extra curly.

Bad example.

But if I was a proper witch, I'd already know all these things.

You ARE a proper witch.

Fact.

A present from my auntie.

-SIZZLING

-Borrow it if you like.

So, as a witch, someone, somewhere in your mum's family

must have been one too.

A Brief Witchory Of The World.

If you have any witching ancestors...

..this is where you're going to find them.

If you get magic from your mum and my mum hasn't got any...

Maybe it skipped her somehow.

Magic can do that?

Magic can do whatever it wants.

Foot skin scrub? Fungus facemask?

I told you, I didn't do anything.

Try not to be jealous.

You can't all be perfect like me.

But we could be.

I found an ancient book and made this

when Ethel showed me her wart before breakfast.

"Wart encouraging potion."

Apparently, it sucks them right up out of your face.

Oi! Give that back.

You can share it.

Share what exactly?

Spill!

Ethel has a wart and everyone else wants one too.

This is going to take forever.

Don't suppose you know a speed-reading spell, do you?

TABBY MEOWS

Can you smell burning?

SIZZLING

Better get a move on. Ow!

TABBY MEOWS

Oh, Tabby.

Prepare to be astounded, girls.

For today, we will be diving in to the fascinating physics

-of flying!

-HE CHUCKLES

Try saying that three times, fast!

Mildred, you're late.

And a tad overdressed.

I think better with a warm brain, sir.

Well, I'm going to have to give you and your cosy cranium a late mark.

Page 47, copy the paragraph Flying In Inclement Weather.

Sorry, I got caught up.

Not having the best morning.

Ah.

Feeling a bit green, are we?

Froggy.

Not quite as bad as that, but close.

Well, I'll let you off this time.

If you feel the urge,

I've got an emergency bottle of flies in my drawer.

Thanks.

When did you become electric?

When my own hair turned against me.

I'm sorry if I upset you before.

Congrats on the wart and everything.

Thanks.

I wanted to apologise too, actually, for making fun of you.

It's not your fault you don't know much.

Thanks. I think...

Did wart power make you nicer or something?

It will make me fix that tangle quicker.

We were about to go to the library for a removal spell anyway.

Removal? She'll end up bald.

You need something gentle.

I know just the thing.

Oh, wow, I feel so much better.

My hair!

Ethel Hallow, you are the cruellest, nastiest, most horrible.

Silence!

Who can quote me the Witch's Code section 97, clause 4?

Never put a cat in a cauldron.

Never feed dragons after midnight.

Ethel?

Never remove any part of another witch's anatomy,

be it arm, leg, or hair of head.

Precisely.

Miss Cackle's office, both of you.

Now.

She begged me to help her.

Ethel, the last time you attempted to help Mildred,

we had a most dreadful kerfuffle.

And two very confused cats.

Let's not forget Mildred's catalogue of misdemeanours.

Indeed.

The two of you seem to be stuck in something of a vicious circle.

It's time you put a stop to it.

You are to keep away from each other for the time being.

Ethel, I'll be needing those scissors.

Go back to your lessons while Miss Hardbroom and I

decide upon the best course of action.

Could I please make a suggestion, Miss Cackle?

That we let off your sister lightly?

No, not at all.

She's getting far too big for her broomstick.

And the other first years aren't far behind.

It's every girl for herself.

A touch of friendly competition never hurt anyone,

you know that, Esmeralda.

I'm not sure this could be described as friendly.

I had an idea of how to make things better.

It's a little drastic, though.

Remember, if you cannot control yourself, you cannot control magic.

And if you cannot control magic...

..magic will control you.

Lizard's tail.

Feather of crow.

Take my hair and make it grow.

Be back to normal in no time.

Still, you shouldn't be in trouble for something that Ethel did.

I wonder what the punishment's going to be.

SIZZLING

I swear, I didn't do anything!

No need to panic, girls, they're quite harmless.

Class dismissed.

Yes!

The first year coven wants you.

What's a coven?

I am everywhere and nowhere, many and few

Find my door high or low, it's really up to you.

Sounds tricky!

Yeah, but what is it?

My mum was in the Flaming Broomsticks.

-So was mine!

-Is it a flying club?

More like a secret society.

A witching tradition.

The Flaming Broomsticks launched the space shuttle.

And invented ice cream.

Your mums did all that?

Not them personally.

It goes back generations.

Of course.

Feels like it's ready.

We have to solve the riddle.

To find the meeting point.

It's like an initiation before you can join.

So not everyone gets in.

It'll be fun, don't worry.

You'll love it, I promise.

FLUTTERING

TABBY MEOWS

No, it hasn't worked, Tabby.

TABBY MEOWS

MILDRED SIGHS

I know you want to tell me.

Yes, you do!

Come on. Tell me where it is.

Oh! Catch you later.

You're still spiky.

The potion didn't work.

Well, we'll find a better one.

Any luck on cracking the riddle?

Nope.

Us neither.

We'd better start searching!

I reckon I'll sit this one out.

I know it's your tradition or whatever,

but it's not really mine.

Of course it is!

It's not.

I'll always be the odd one out.

But it's OK. I'm getting used to it.

I really hope you both get in.

SHE SNORES

MILDRED CLEARS HER THROAT

All lessons are postponed till after the first coven meeting.

You should get your skates on.

They'll start without you.

I'd rather stay here, if it's all the same.

You're most welcome.

Won't be much of a lesson, though.

With just the one of you!

Should I go back to my hutch, then?

Any homework you could do?

Well, it's not exactly work,

but I've been looking for Hubble ancestors.

I could fetch my book?

If you insist on doing it the long way.

What's the short way?

We magic them up and have a chat over tea?

Good idea! I'm parched!

What were you going to suggest?

Consulting Cackle's records.

I think I might have been at school with a Hubble.

Really?

What was she called?

Was she definitely a witch?

Or perhaps that was a Tubble.

Or a Bubble!

Oh, my memory's not what it was.

But there's a way of checking?

Why are the school records kept in a dungeon?

Technically, it was only a dungeon for a century or two.

It's storage now.

Unless you rub Miss Hardbroom up the wrong way!

It's a bit small.

There are no small filing cabinets, my dear.

Only small witches.

All Hubbles present and past, schools and academies first to last!

RUMBLING

Go on, then. It won't bite.

Previous students.

None.

Just me.

Mildred Hubble.

Well, not every witch attends an academy.

How far do these records go back?

Oh, not that far.

Only the odd millennia.

So if I was from a witching family, we would have found them.

Why don't we get you back upstairs, start sniffing out this coven?

I can't try to join it now.

This is proof I don't belong.

It doesn't matter how many stuffy old witches

you've got in your family.

A coven is about coming together in the here and now,

and doing incredible things with others.

It would be impossible on your own.

Like ice cream and moon landings.

Exactly, although putting the two together isn't advisable.

You went into space?

One great leap for man, one mere skip for witchkind.

How?

Oh, a smidge of rocket fuel and a lot of chanting.

I'll never know enough to do something like that.

Forget about what you know for a minute.

Think about what you feel.

Can you feel your magic, Mildred?

More and more each day.

Then you belong, dear, and you always will.

Thanks for helping, Miss Bat.

-Oh!

-Ugh...

-Oh, dear. A spot of bat drool.

There's a rather large colony below stairs, I'm afraid.

Mil! What are you doing down here?

Getting slobbered on by bats, mostly. You?

The riddle says, "Search high and low".

We thought low might mean the cellar.

I've already checked it out.

No sign of any secret doors.

You've been looking?

I might have had second thoughts.

It's not too late, is it?

Of course not!

Did Miss Bat help you with a regrowth spell?

Why?

Your hair's coming back.

Ah.

-Must have been a slow-acting potion.

-Like us finding this coven.

Where to next?

High, I suppose?

-Top of the school?

-To the roof!

Everywhere and nowhere.

Everywhere and nowhere.

Everywhere and nowhere.

This is taking too long!

Er...I feel funny.

Like my wart's trying to tell me something.

What?

I can see a secret door!

I can smell something. Baking bread and boiled turnips.

It must be in the kitchen!

Why would you do that?

First witch there is founding member!

Founding member chooses magical missions and who goes on them.

It's a huge responsibility.

We can't just let anyone do it.

But if you didn't get there first fairly...

Then you won't get picked for anything!

If that doesn't bother you,

then I'm more than happy to find it on my own.

Wait for me!

Look, Mildred!

Your hair, it's growing.

When Esmeralda used the word drastic,

I have to say I was expecting a more uncompromising approach.

Ethel's desperate to stand out, Mildred to blend in.

Polar opposites.

The sooner they make friends, the better.

Pushing them together will only cause more chaos!

What would life be without a little chaos now and then?

We must have gone wrong somewhere.

But we've searched the entire school.

Be careful, Milly.

We really have gone wrong if she is here.

We're heading for the roof.

We'll be out of your hair... Whoa!

Get me out, get me out!

It's going everywhere!

Your hair's out of control!

What have you turned me into now?!

Nothing, I didn't do anything!

Get me out! I can't see!

Well, it's not mine!

It must be something up with the potion.

Was there an antidote spell in the book?

-I can't remember.

-Try a general one.

A potion born of witch's plot, I bid you cease, I bid you stop!

Ethel...

Mildred...

Nice work, Mildred!

Miss Cackle! Miss Cackle.

You were saying?

Come on, this way!

Keep her back.

If her hair explodes again, we might never get out.

I'm trying my best to keep it in.

It's everywhere.

What happened? It's taking over the whole school!

SCREAMING

It appears to be distinctly Hubble coloured.

And there's a few burnt bits.

I made a regrowth potion.

It must have been too strong.

Or someone messed with it.

Added something to send it out of control.

I did no such thing.

Well, if we don't know what it is, we can't reverse it.

I got slobbered on, that added something!

Bat drool!

Bat drool's an amplifier, toad brain!

What's an amplifier?

It makes a spell more powerful.

It's live.

OK, does anyone know a good bat drool antidote

before we get smooshed into a giant hairball?

We don't need one.

We really, really do.

Any antidote spell should work as long as Ethel says it.

She's got wart power, remember?

I think that's quite enough chaos for one day.

Wait.

We set them a test, didn't we?

And this will be a far tougher challenge

than the one we came up with.

Let's see if they can rise to it.

Potion born of witch's plot,

I bid you cease, I bid you stop!

Why isn't it working?

SCREAMING

Try saying it with your finger on the wart and really concentrate.

It won't make any difference.

-ALL: Please, Ethel!

-I can't!

We can barely breathe, try it again!

It won't work, it's not real!

What?

I don't have wart power.

I don't have a wart.

I made it up.

Just out of interest,

how much longer are you prepared to wait?

Might hang on to eyebrow height.

MISS HARDBROOM SQUEAKS

It's only a spot of hair.

What's the worst that can happen?

My parents are obsessed with Esme and Sybil.

I faked it so they'd notice me for once.

You didn't have to lie to us.

I didn't ask you to get so excited about it.

I'm trying to stop it.

It's too strong. I can't do it on my own.

Which is why I need you all to help.

Hold hands, quick!

If it can launch witches into space, it can tame my hair.

A chant to break the spell. That's how covens work, right?

Everyone together. Which chant?

Cauldron blister, cauldron shake.

Break the spell and make it quick.

Rising moon and setting sun,

we aren't many, we are one!

-ALL:

-Cauldron blister, cauldron shake.

Break the spell and make it quick.

Rising moon and setting sun, we aren't many, we are one!

We did it.

WE did it.

'Come in! Come in.'

Top thinking, Esme.

Your plan worked a treat.

The mutant hair was the plan.

The coven was the plan, to encourage teamwork.

The hair was a Mildred-shaped spanner in the works.

I am everywhere...

and nowhere.

Many and few.

Find my door high or low.

It's really up to you.

Did we pass the test?

Er, only this group.

The others will have to try again next time.

You cracked the code by working together.

The chants unlocked the coven door.

Congratulations.

Very great things await such a brave bunch.

Well done, Milly.

I'm glad to see you're missing something.

We frown on fakery here.

I'm awfully sorry, Miss Cackle.

I trust you've learned your lesson.

Warts are a thing of the past.

We're much more subtle these days.

You'd do well to remember that, Ethel Hallow.

I'm so glad you've changed your mind.

Still swamped everyone with hair, though.

Your hair solved the riddle.

Maybe.

But it still doesn't make me a witch.

-Mil...

-Miss Bat helped me search for my ancestors.

There weren't any.

So? You're officially the first witch of your entire family.

That's amazing!

You think?

The potion went wrong, but you knew what to do.

That makes you ten times witchier than the lot of us.

So without further ado, we will begin the ceremony.

As members of your new coven, you'll be more than just classmates.

You'll be sisters.

It doesn't matter who's the best or the worst.

All that matters is joining together with your fellow witches

and being stronger and better together.

Mildred Hubble.

I-I'm really, really sorry about the hair.

It was the bat drool...

Toss your invitation into the cauldron.

But I'm not in trouble?

No, dear. You're being sworn in as founder member.

-Me?

-You were the first witch to reveal the door.

That also means you get to choose a name.

How about the Hair Raisers?!

LAUGHTER

The first and founding member of the Hair Raisers.

Mildred Hubble!