Maud's Big Mistake The Worst Witch

EXPLOSION

THEY COUGH

'Enid Nightshade.'

Maud Spellbody.

Mildred Hubble.

How fortunate that tonight is parents' evening.

I shall be speaking to all of your parents

personally.

Well, at least she didn't make us clean this up.

And clean this up!

I'll just have to ask my dad to make a bigger donation than usual now.

It won't make any difference.

My mum's already expecting it to be terrible.

Well, my parents aren't.

And they're not rich, either.

They can't just buy their way out of a bad report.

Loving the new look, girls.

THEY GIGGLE

You're year head.

You're giving the closing address later.

They won't be upset over one little mistake.

One? What about the time I failed my flying test?

That was my fault, really.

The time I got you turned into a frog?

I got me turned into a frog.

Now I've blown up the potions lab.

I mixed up my wool of bat with my eye of newt.

Every teacher's going to have it in for me tonight.

Even if they do, so what?

Your parents'll get over it.

You really don't know them.

-Hello!

-Hello!

-Hello!

You've got the mirror the wrong way round.

I told you.

You told me that way.

No, the other way.

Honestly, Maud, he's hopeless with magic.

I can't be brilliant at everything, can I?

Unlike my daughter!

HE LAUGHS

We're all set for tonight.

Your mother can't wait to see Cackle's again.

It's the first time she's been there since she was a pupil.

THEY LAUGH

Oh, which reminds me,

cleared a space for your Year 1 Witching Certificate.

Yeah, about that, Mum...

We can't WAIT to find out what you've been getting up to.

-Bye.

-Bye.

-Love you!

-Love you!

-Bye!

-Sending you a cake!

-Bye!

HE LAUGHS

I feel bad for Maud.

She'd never have been in trouble if she hadn't made friends with me.

She'd never have had any good times, either.

I should go and watch the door.

My mum will be the only one not arriving by broomstick.

She's walking up the mountain?!

Don't you think she's trying a little too hard not to be a witch?

OK, I know I said she might have had some secret witchy past,

but it doesn't make sense.

I'd know.

Witches are very good at hiding their magic, Millie.

My mum isn't even good at hiding my birthday presents.

Top of the wardrobe, every single year.

Better go and see if she's here.

What's up, Maud?

MAUD SIGHS

I can't do it to them.

I can't let my parents find out

what a boil and bubble I've made of everything.

Well, you'll have to.

Unless you're going to use some serious pirated magic

to fix everything.

And that's not very you, is it?

MAUD SIGHS

You don't approve of pirated magic.

But, if I did...

Forgetting powder.

Forgetting powder?

When it works, it can get you out of very sticky situations.

I was glad I had it when you caught me copying out all of your homework.

I don't remember that!

Exactly.

Forgetting powder is very unpredictable.

Are you sure you want to do this?

She's here! My mother's here.

You sound surprised.

I'm not surprised. I never had any doubt.

Are you saying my mother's only interested in Esmerelda's education?

No?

-No.

-Good.

-Well met, Mother.

-Well met, Ethel.

How delightful to be here.

I saved you this.

I'll pass, thank you.

I've got to fit into the ceremonial robes

for Esme's prizegiving, after all.

Shall we go, darling?

Miss Drill?

Miss Drill?

You haven't seen my mum, have you?

Oh, yes, she's...she's over there, speaking to...

..to Mr Nightshade.

My PA just booked us into a volcano cave.

They are THE next big witch holiday destination.

Would you mind signing this for me?

Caves are so expensive during the school holidays, though.

We may have to stay at home this year.

What about you, Joy?

Well, I'm thinking of investing in a mobile cave.

I mean, your familiars can come with you,

so you don't have to pay for a magic-friendly cattery or anything,

which is a bonus. And...

-Mum?

-Oh, Mildred, didn't see you there.

-All right?

-Hi, Dad.

Enid!

Your mum's stuck at the manicurist.

But don't worry, I am pumped to defend you

of whatever you've done wrong this time.

We have to see Miss Hardbroom.

I feel an expensive night coming on.

Right, who have we got first?

This way, is it?

What is keeping Maud?

Yes!

Flying certificate.

Frog transformation homework.

What else do I need to add, Midnight?

Oh, let's just say...

..everything I've done since I've got here.

Every potion I mixed wrong, every daft thing I said in class.

Every test I didn't come top of.

MIDNIGHT MEOWS

When this powder you intake,

forget my every witch mistake.

MIDNIGHT MEOWS

CHIMES TINKLE

From HB?

"See me."

It hasn't worked, Midnight.

Oh, there she is!

-Hey!

-Hi, Mum, Dad.

Hey, this was my corridor, you know?

I mean, obviously, it's changed a lot since then.

It's... It's so modern now!

Oh, if I'd had the opportunities that young witches have today,

I might have got a lot farther.

Can you tell how much your mother's been looking forward to this?

Come here.

No biggie. All we have to do is buy new potion-lab equipment.

Miss Hardbroom thinks she's a big deal, but she doesn't scare me.

-I'm out of here.

-Dad!

The Spellbodys.

Enter.

What's the spell for ground opening up below you, again?

Oh, you'll be all right.

SHE SIGHS

The forgetting powder didn't work.

What forgetting powder?

Very funny, I don't think.

It was necessary to see you this evening,

not only as your daughter's potions teacher

but as deputy head.

This is because...

Strange.

I...

..can't remember why it was necessary.

I can't think of a time when she's been on the losing side.

She really is an exemplary sports witch.

But right now,

I can't recall...

Not one occasion did I have to correct her chanting

or remark on her tempo.

She has been note-perfect all term.

A flawless understanding of animal physiognomy.

I only wish the other girls were more like Maud.

So...

Maud must be doing very well?

Very well indeed?

So, if we survive HB,

we have spell science next.

Then flying.

Then advanced chanting.

I thought advanced chanting was Year 2?

It is.

But how would you know that?

Millie!

Excuse us one moment.

It's like a dream!

The teachers didn't even mention the flying test, the frog.

Not even the explosion.

Sorry, what are you talking about?

I got hold of some forgetting powder

to make everyone forget my mistakes.

Please don't get mad. It worked.

It really, really worked.

OK, but I don't know why you're telling me this.

I can't remember you ever speaking to me before.

You can't remember?

I'm pleased you're having a good parents' evening.

Mildred Hubble.

She's forgotten me.

Of course she has!

What does everyone think my biggest mistake at Cackle's is?

Making friends with Mildred Hubble.

Week four, transformed fellow pupil into pig.

Week five, embarrassed entire school in front of the great wizard.

In several ways.

Week six...

I'm sorry. This is all very well,

but I don't really see the relevance...

Miss Hubble, as an... ordinary person...

I realise you are not acquainted with the Witches' Code.

-However...

-Oh, section 2, subsection C, perhaps?

The bit about senior witches having a duty of care for junior witches?

Doesn't sound as though that's what's happened here.

We are talking about a complete lack of magical control.

You see, the way I read it,

the Code is mainly about not deliberately harming others,

using magic for personal gain or publicly exposing other witches.

So, which rule has Mildred actually broken?

Right, well, if there's nothing else,

I think we have other appointments to get to.

Mum, since when did you know about the Witches' Code?

Sorry. I like to be invisible on parents' evening.

Keep a discreet eye on things, you know?

I'll take it from here.

I realise Miss Hardbroom can be a little brusque.

-You could say that.

-However,

I'm forced to admit that she may have a point.

Sorry?

I have been in two minds about this,

but blowing up the potion lab today was the final straw.

I also feel that Mildred Hubble has not really found her feet.

Perhaps, if she had a friend to guide her...

-She's got Enid.

-The right kind of friend, a steadying influence,

things might be different.

But she hasn't connected with anyone like that.

I'm afraid everything she's touched has turned to disaster.

Now, I've been through this once.

No, Mum.

She's right.

I don't belong here.

-Sorry, Dad.

-Second-worst witch.

Wait till I tell your mother.

Enid, it's terrible!

Mildred's forgotten that we're friends.

You're telling me this why?

Don't say you've forgotten, too?

This is a little bit weird, so...

You gave me some pirated forgetting powder

so that I'd have a perfect parents' evening.

Sounds like something I'd do.

Look.

My handwriting.

How do I reverse the magic?

I don't know.

I'm not losing my best friend.

You're going to help.

I'll get you a magic tutor.

We'll apply to a different academy.

Why didn't you tell me you were a witch?

What makes you think I'm a witch?

I heard you with the other parents.

And only witches know the Witches' Code.

All this time, you've been hiding it from me. Why?

Mildred...

If I'd have had the same start in life as the rest of the girls,

maybe I wouldn't be leaving.

-MAUD AND ENID:

-Millie!

I don't have time for this nonsense right now.

I need to have one last look around before I go forever.

-What?

-Forever?

Miss Cackle said it herself.

I don't fit in, and I don't have a role model, and she...

-She's right.

-What does she mean?

You have me!

A POSITIVE role model, Enid.

Oh.

Oh, no, this is all my fault!

How can it be? I hardly know you.

But you do. We're...

best friends.

The girl who's never made a mistake, best friends with the worst witch?

Tell her.

I may have given her a forgetting powder.

The explosion at lunchtime.

We were all there.

No, that was just me and Enid.

OK. How did you get to Cackle's in the first place?

Well, I...

I'm blanking on it at the moment.

I crash-landed onto your balcony. How can you not even remember that?

What does it matter how I arrived here, anyway?

I'm not a pupil here any more.

There's only one thing for it.

I've got to tell the truth.

That'll get you thrown out!

I don't care what happens to me if it saves Mildred.

It'll also get ME thrown out.

I'd be banned from every witching academy in the land.

Every witching academy?

You didn't tell me it was THAT big of an offence.

There's got to be some other way.

Yes, Ethel continues to perform impressively in every subject.

What about extracurricular activities, Miss Cackle?

You must tell Mother about those.

Oh, yes. Ethel takes part in many out-of-hours activities.

Invisible netball, instrumentless orchestra, hat-making club.

In fact, she's the only member of that one.

Get back to your room, Sybil.

That... That is wonderful news.

Mother, why are you talking to my little sister?

My little sister who is at home?

Don't fret about it, darling.

Now, who are we seeing next?

Miss Bat, is it?

You're not here, are you, Mother?

Oh, of course I'm here.

We're looking at each other, aren't we?

OK. No.

I'm not here.

A projection spell, Mother?

How could you? You couldn't even be bothered making the trip.

Oh, come now, darling. I will be here next month...

For Esmerelda's prizegiving.

We know that. You wouldn't miss Esmerelda's night for the world!

Maud Spellbody, do you mind?

What do you want, Miss Perfect?

I suppose YOUR mother's super proud of you.

Thank you, Miss Cackle.

What is the meaning of bursting in?

Miss Cackle, I heard that Mildred Hubble is leaving.

Sadly, she has chosen that path.

I'd like to volunteer to help her.

You, help Mildred Hubble?

To keep her on the straight and narrow.

I'm just what she needs.

Well, thank you for that kind offer.

It's no less than I'd expect from you.

However, I can't remember ever seeing the two of you together.

I can't imagine how you'd get on.

We'd make great friends.

Honestly.

We wouldn't want to mar your impressive academic record

with Mildred Hubble's penchant for disaster, would we?

Mildred Hubble has quit?

It didn't work.

Mildred's still leaving?

It's obvious what you do.

The same thing I did when

I had forgetting-powder accidents at school.

-Dad!

-Raid the first-aid cupboard for remembering powder.

This is our last chance to save Millie.

-Come on!

-DOOR CREAKS

SOMEONE HUMS

HE STOPS HUMMING

Mm! That's what I love about this school. The snacks.

HE BURPS

I will never get used to that.

Quick. Like your dad said, first-aid cupboard.

CLATTERING

Quietly!

GLASS SMASHES

Go, go, go!

There's only a tiny bit.

Just enough for one go.

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

To this powder all will surrender...

Can you make my mum remember?

Millie, no!

Mildred, I've looked everywhere for you.

Oh, I remember where the car keys are,

I remember the code for the alarm...

I remember where I put those fishcakes!

Oh, the car boot's going to stink a bit.

But what about being a witch?

Oh, I've told you, Mildred. I'm not a witch.

But the chat with the other parents, the Witches' Code?

Yeah...

As for the small talk, well,

I just wanted to fit in with the other parents.

And the Code?

Well, this school might be different in lots of ways,

but it's exactly the same as all the others

with all the stuff it sends out to parents.

Diary dates, school-uniform lists, dinner menus.

And the Witches' Code.

You're always telling me to be proud of who I am,

not to pretend to be someone that I'm not.

Yes. I know.

Sorry.

I just didn't want to embarrass you.

Didn't want to be the worst mum.

-MR NIGHTSHADE:

-I'm not seeing smiles.

I blew it. Well, she blew it.

You realise that this girl is responsible

for your daughter leaving the school?

All because she didn't want to disappoint her parents.

I know.

I have to admit to what I've done.

Whatever the consequences.

That won't make people remember.

They'll know you used forgetting powder,

but the memories won't suddenly come back.

How do I get them to remember?

Don't worry, Maud.

We all make mistakes.

No-one's made a mistake as big as this.

Hey, I've made plenty bigger.

That's it!

The mistakes you've made, Maud, they're just not big enough.

They're not?

Surely, if you were to do something truly disastrous,

then no-one would be able to forget it.

Even with forgetting powder.

It would break the spell.

But how am I going to make a huge mistake that everyone knows about

before the end of the day?

SHE GASPS

Whether it's been good or bad,

I'm sure we will all be working to improve our performance next term.

Maud!

Where did you go?

I'm really sorry for what's about to happen, Mum, Dad.

All that's left now

is for me to hand over to our wonderful year head,

Maud Spellbody.

APPLAUSE

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

Er... Well met.

Um, to start, I'd like to...

..thank a few people.

But I can't do that because I do not deserve to be up here.

I messed up.

I used forgetting powder on all of you

to make sure I got good reports tonight.

Yes! Year head is mine!

And I did get them.

But I lost a friend.

And now, I need you to remember.

I need all of you to remember that...

..Mildred Hubble and I are friends,

and that is not a mistake.

This...

on the other hand, is a mistake.

What's she doing?

A very, very big...

Oh, no!

..mistake.

Oh, no!

Tell me that's not the potion we mixed at lunchtime.

It's the potion we mixed at lunchtime.

CAT MEOWS

EXPLOSION

THEY COUGH

Did it work?

Did it... Did it lift the spell?

Maud Spellbody.

Miss Cackle's office, now.

And Mildred Hubble, and Enid Nightshade.

Always in it together.

You remember! It worked!

Failed flying tests, accidental frog transformations,

blown-up potions labs.

And now...

Could I check, my daughter is the SECOND-worst witch again, isn't she?

She won't be a witch at all!

After today's outrage, they should all be thrown out.

I find it hard to disagree.

Your money won't help this time, Mr Nightshade.

Did you not hear me, Mr Spellbody?

Ah.

Thing is, Miss Hardbroom,

I don't have that much spare cash,

so I wasn't actually offering.

Though this may not all delight,

you lot forget about tonight.

Why are you all still here?

Oh... Did I offer you tea?

THEY LAUGH

-Yay!

-Yes!

I always carry some of that stuff with me.

You never know when you're going to need it.

Dad, you fixed everything.

I rather think I did.

Anyone want an autograph?

HE LAUGHS

-I'm staying!

-We're all staying!

I'm sorry, Mum.

I would never hide anything from you.

Well, maybe your birthday presents.

You still don't know where they're kept, do you?

SHE CHUCKLES

Mum, if my magic doesn't come from you, where does it come from?

Well, I'm sure you'll work that out for yourself some day.

Till then, you've just got to believe

that you are good enough to be here.

And so do you, Mum.

The best mum.

I know you've seen a different side of me this evening.

Yes.

We have.

And we are more proud of you than ever.

Standing up in front of everyone to admit what you'd done?

That takes real guts, Maud.

But aren't you massively disappointed in me?

What about all the stupid mistakes I've made since I've come here?

Maud, why do you think I carry that powder?

THEY LAUGH

Mistakes are how you learn.

Mistakes are a sign that you tried.

And you never stop trying.

That's what makes you...

..you.

Hey, you know what this calls for, don't you?

-A family shot for the wall!

-Shot for the wall!

THEY LAUGH