Selection Day Part 2 The Worst Witch

-A school for witches?

-Of course.

I've got a good feeling about this year.

You said that last year.

Good stick control.

Ethel Hallow.

-Girl incoming!

-THEY SCREAM

And who are you?

Mildred. Mildred Hubble.

Didn't your mother teach you anything?

Didn't your mother teach you not to be a bossy old toad?

-Begin.

-I can't pass a witch exam, I'm not...

-Shh!

I will give you 1%.

Ethel Hallow, perfect 100%.

-Page 20.

-Just pick an easy spell.

-Going for a level eight?

-"And these ingredients you must find."

Did you add the pond weed gathered at midnight?

SHE COUGHS WITH A ROAR

-HIGH-PITCHED:

-What just happened? This does not feel right!

-Ethie?

Someone has interfered with my potion. I know how to...

Miss Cackle?

Oh, dear. What is it?

Lumbricus terrestris.

A distant and rather vulgar relation of the noble dragon.

Well, it's a common beginner's error.

Let's get you back on your feet, shall we?

-HIGH-PITCHED:

-..has done this to me.

Somebody's trying to destroy my perfect record.

It's sabotage.

That's what it is. Someone messed with my potion.

I demand an enquiry.

There's no mystery about it.

I've seen this many times before.

You simply didn't add enough pond weed.

I did. I measured out the exact amount.

She's right.

It was me.

I did it.

She deliberately wrecked my spell.

No, it was a mistake.

She shouldn't even be here.

She's not even from a witching family.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

-What do you want?

-Um, hi.

I just wanted to say...

please don't blame Mildred.

I told her to take the pond weed.

It's all my fault.

No, it was me.

The point is it wasn't my fault.

I'll do the test again. I'll get it right this time.

Sorry, Ethel. You really should have double-checked your ingredients.

A good witch leaves nothing to chance.

But don't worry.

With your wonderful marks in the written exam,

I'm sure you've scored enough to scrape a pass.

A pass?

And you. You really have no craft in your family at all?

But my potion worked. I actually flew!

You interfered with another witch in the course of lawful spell-casting.

That's an automatic fail.

0%.

0%?

At least it makes your written result look good.

That's not fair!

Are you questioning the Code?

Yes.

Mildred's family may not be magical...

..but she is.

You can't turn her down just because of one mistake.

-MISS CACKLE:

-I know it seems harsh.

But witches work with the fundamental forces of nature.

Our magic must be used with utmost caution.

I'm afraid that a real witch would know that.

Congratulations to our new first years.

You've all done splendidly.

I shall see you all later for our celebratory feast.

Failed applicants this way.

Your parents and guardians will collect you.

THEY CHATTER

I'm glad you got in, anyway.

I just wish you were coming too.

-I really let you down.

-No, you didn't.

Mildred Hubble.

Are you still here?

I was just leaving, Miss Hardbroom.

CROW CAWING

-Are you all right, dear?

-Huh? I'm sorry.

It's just I'm not really very good with the dark.

A witch who's afraid of the dark?

I'm not a witch.

I made a fool of myself in front of everyone, twice.

My poor dear.

How dreadfully humiliating for you.

You must be so disappointed.

But that's not the worst of it.

You didn't just let yourself down.

You hurt everyone who cares about you.

Maud really wanted me to get in.

There, there.

She'll get over it.

She'll make lots of other friends.

Good friends.

Who won't fail her, like you did.

Oh! There, there.

It's all right.

Let it all out.

Feeling better?

Not really, no.

Can I have a lemon drop, please?

Lemon drop?

But... But I...

Miss Tapioca.

The successful candidates are ready for the feast.

Yes, Miss Cackle.

-Do you mind if I...?

-Oh.

Mmm, it's delicious.

Thank you, Miss Cackle.

Just needs a teeny, tiny bit more ground snail shell

to make it even more yummy.

I've been using this recipe for 30 years.

Who's Headmistress?

Ground snail shell, you say.

-What? Oh!

-SHE GROWLS

That's better.

Before the clock doth strike the hour,

this school shall be within my power.

Nettles, picked by full moon's beam.

Scum, skimmed from a stagnant stream.

Mandrake root.

-Hear it scream!

-SCREAMING

And...

..tears of a young witch...

..who lost her dream.

We have never been a fee-paying school.

We believe that every witch deserves a free education.

Miss Cackle!

Miss Cackle is speaking.

Maintaining our high standards does not come cheap...

-Please, you have to listen!

-Not now.

-Yes, now.

-You're all in danger!

-Mildred? What's wrong?

-Sit down, Maud.

As for you, I've had quite enough of your lying.

-But this is true!

-Time to leave!

-Many of your mothers...

But Agatha...!

Miss Cackle! Miss Hardbroom! Hello?!

Miss Hardbroom? Miss Cackle! Maud!

And they would appreciate the importance

of passing on our high standards to the next generation.

I tried to save them. They wouldn't listen.

Whatever Agatha's got planned, they deserve it.

They're just a bunch of evil old witches.

Ribbit!

Not like there's anything I can do, anyway.

-Ribbit!

-The common cat-trap flower?

From the levitation spell.

-But I can't do magic.

-Ribbit!

For millennia, witches have been learning their craft

upon this site of ancient power.

The school itself was formally founded in the Dark Centuries,

before the coming of Arthur.

And now, you yourselves will become part of the history of the craft.

Nobody may eat until Miss Cackle has been served.

As Cackle's Girls, you will be carrying on our traditions

as your mothers and grandmothers did before you.

Not to mention your great-grandmothers

and your great-great-grandmothers.

-SHE SNORTS

-Is it dinner time?

In this school, we respect the past and the present of witchcraft.

But I've rambled on quite enough.

Time to enjoy our selection day feast.

-Does that look right to you?

-Ribbit!

-Wish me luck!

-Ribbit!

-Well, I tried.

-Ribbit!

Agh!

Agh! SHE SCREAMS

I'm getting higher! SHE SCREAMS

SCREAMING

CAT MEOWS

PEPPER MILL GRINDS

SCREAMING CONTINUES

Ahhh!

Sorry! Ah!

Sorry! Ah! Don't eat the soup!

I had to warn you, she put a spell on the soup.

Who did?

I did.

Why?

Because I should be Headmistress here.

You know it makes sense.

If you want this school to be great again, stand up and follow me.

-Agatha is our leader.

-Miss Drill!

She's the greatest witch who ever lived.

She is under the influence of a total obedience spell.

Oh, a very powerful one, too.

Which means she'll be loyal to the first person who gave her orders.

Who did this? How did this happen?

Because she tried the soup. Just like Mildred said.

I invoke Section 7 of the Witches' Code.

Yes, I thought you might.

Girls?

To me, girls! I'll teach you a protective charm!

There's no time for that, just look after them.

Never seen a Section 7 before.

What's a Section 7?

A magical duel between witches. The loser will forfeit their powers.

Oh, dear. Come on, now! Come on, come on.

I really don't want to have to hurt you, Agatha.

You won't.

Because you're my sister.

And you're weak!

Don't confuse kindness...

..with weakness.

Hold it.

Mildred Hubble. Come here, you wretched girl!

This is really bad.

You're all perfectly safe so long as you do what you're told.

Carry on.

You've always been weak!

Mother only gave you the school because you're 13 minutes older!

Those 13 minutes have saved this school from disaster.

We can do this all day if you like, Agatha.

Had enough yet, sister?

It's over.

Agatha wins.

All hail Agatha.

Help her!

The Code forbids it.

Prepare to be mollusced.

She's turning her into a snail.

-Fascinating.

-No!

-Mildred!

-Mildred Hubble!

Please, don't hurt her.

This is all my fault.

I'm sorry I spoiled your plans.

That's all right, dear.

You've just put them right back on track.

Oh, Mildred.

Ada. It's you or this girl.

One of you is leaving here in a shell.

Don't make me choose both.

Let Mildred go.

You know my price. The school.

Free her and I will lower my protective spells.

You had protective spells?

Of course she did, you foolish girl.

So, you weren't about to lose the duel?

No, Mildred.

Stay back, or the girl gets it.

Release the child.

And then you may do as you will with me.

-No!

-How do I know I can trust you?

I swear by the Witches' Code.

All right. Go.

-Go, Mildred.

-Mildred!

Who's on the naughty step now, big sis?

The school is mine!

May I be the first to offer my congratulations?

Headmistress.

Hecate Hardbroom! After all Ada did for you.

She was a satisfactory Headmistress.

But you were right.

We need a forceful leader to promote higher standards.

-Miss Cackle was strong!

-Not strong enough, it seems.

-She only lost because of me.

-And Agatha's really evil.

That is not for us to judge.

No witch may interfere in a Section 7 duel.

For once accepted to this school,

you are all bound by the Witches' Code.

Miss Hardbroom.

I knew I could depend on you.

No member of staff or any pupil will raise their hand against you.

WE are all bound by the Witches' Code.

CAT MEOWS

Perhaps, Agatha, you would like to take possession...

-Psst!

-..of the keys to your school.

The keys to MY school, at last!

Now!

Agh!

-Now, get her! Come on!

-We can't, it's against the Code!

We have to stop her! Somebody help me, please!

I'll help you, Mistress Mildred.

What should I do?

-What?

-The total obedience spell.

Quick, give her orders!

I order you to lose the duel

and turn that snail back into Miss Cackle.

I obey.

Ada.

It's all right, Hecate. I'm fine.

Of course you are.

Thank you, Mildred. That was very clever.

-Was it?

-Oh, yes.

It was the perfect way to deal with Agatha.

Agatha. Agatha is our leader.

Oh, do stop doing that!

Sorry, everyone. Bit embarrassing.

So, what will happen to Agatha?

I've confiscated her magical knowledge and ability.

As for you,

I think we should summon

your parent or guardian.

Mum!

-Mildred!

-SHE GASPS

I was just cleaning the toilet.

Agatha Cackle. You were always a bad girl.

But this time, you've gone too far.

I was trying to save this school from mediocrity.

It's time to go home.

-Home?

-Your mother is coming to collect you.

I don't think so.

My powers!

Magic is real?

That is correct.

I can't...

-I just can't...

-It's OK, Mum.

If you need more proof, I'll happily turn you into a pumpkin.

Hecate?

So, you're magic, and all the teachers are magic,

and the girls learn...magic?

I see where Mildred gets her quick wits, Mistress Hubble.

All right, Mrs I'm So Magical!

If you think you're so much better than me,

how about conjuring up some manners?

Did you even realise that Mildred had applied for a place here?

No.

I had no idea.

Could we talk in private, please?

Of course.

How could you do this?

Without even asking.

Well, I didn't mean to.

It just sort of happened.

St Joseph's is just down the road.

They've got a big new computer lab.

Yeah, but they haven't got magic, or Maud.

But how would you get here every day?

There's no buses up the mountain.

Erm, no.

It's a boarding school.

I'm sorry, Mum.

This was a stupid idea.

I'll come home.

I'll go to St Joseph's, whatever you want.

All I want is for you to be happy.

Do you think you'd be happy coming here?

I don't know, but I think I have to try, if they'll let me.

If they'll let you?

You saved their whole school.

I did, didn't I?

Absolutely. Don't you forget it.

They're lucky to have you.

So am I.

They've been ages. What's going on?

I bet they're going to let her in.

But if they do, I'm dropping out.

-Can we get that in writing?

-THEY LAUGH

So, what did they say?

I'm in!

Yay!

But just on a trial basis.

I wouldn't bother getting too friendly.

I've a feeling that this is going to be a very short trial.

-Oh, shut up, worm face!

-THEY LAUGH

Come on, Millie!

Prospectus, reading list, uniform requirements.

Right.

Ooh, what a lot of black!

Witches don't really do pink. Shall I transport you home?

Yes.

Oh, no, wait. No, no, no. No, but...!

Still got a good feeling about this year?

-Yay!

-See you next time!