Bat Girl The Worst Witch


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Bat Girl

Drama series. Enid takes a practical joke too far and is threatened with expulsion. Mildred turns herself into a bat but can't remember how to turn herself back.


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Show me my relatives on this family tree.

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Yours is more of a family twig.

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Yours is more like a... family argument.

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Mother?!

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Ethel!

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Sybil!

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Ethels... Ethels everywhere.

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I think I need to speak to my girls. Urgently.

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This...is my worst nightmare.

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Now, can we please be enemies again?

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Ugh, with pleasure!

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Wouldn't it be great to be a police witch?

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I can see you in the flying squad.

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And how would you describe your mum's celebrity lifestyle?

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It's fabulous, exciting...

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Trashy.

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I still can't believe

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the famous Narcissus Nightshade's going to be here -

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at OUR careers evening!

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You shouldn't confuse fame with success.

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Enid's mother has one, mine the other...

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Oh, put a cork in it, Ethel!

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Is that everything, Felicity?

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Only I promised I'd give my mum a call.

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That's fantastic. Thanks, Enid.

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I'll post this on the Daily Bubble straight away.

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You should interview me, Fliss.

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My mother's got the most impressive CV -

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education minister at the Magic Council,

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wife, mother, Hallow.

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I thought she wasn't speaking to you

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after what happened with Esmerelda...

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Yes, well, that's about to change.

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I'll introduce her on stage tomorrow,

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say how proud I am,

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how I can't wait to follow in her bootsteps.

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Then it's time for phase two.

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Eenie! It's great to see you.

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Where are you?

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Backstage, preparing for tomorrow night's show.

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Tomorrow night?

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"Narcissus and Nathaniel Nightshade -

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"Everyone's Preferred Poison."

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But it's my careers evening...

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No, that's not tomorrow, sweetheart, that's next week.

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Then why've I been decorating the school,

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getting everything ready?

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SHE SIGHS

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I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on.

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I'm so, so sorry.

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So your mum's definitely coming?

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Yep.

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She took a lot of persuading -

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she's convinced no-one's interested in her non-magical career.

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That's daft - she's brilliant at her job.

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I know.

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I can't wait to show her off.

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Enid?

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What's the matter?

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My Mum's got a show booked for tomorrow night.

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She can't come.

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She's always busy working.

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Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be in trouble again soon,

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then she'll have to come and visit.

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Yeah.

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She never misses an opportunity to tell me off.

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BATS CHITTER

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GLASS SHATTERS

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MISS TAPIOCA SCREAMS

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-Hurry up, girls.

-ALARM RINGS

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That includes you, Maud Spellbody.

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-Is it breakfast time already?

-Nowhere near.

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Another fire drill then?

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No fire without smoke.

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There's Enid - maybe she knows something.

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Single file, ladies.

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I've brought you all here today

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because I wanted you to see

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this vile and despicable act for yourselves.

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Not only was this a childish and pointless prank,

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but Miss Tapioca was so shocked

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that she dropped her prized porridge-making pot.

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Alas, poor Percy.

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I knew him well.

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SHE GIGGLES

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Is there something funny, Beatrice?

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-N-No, Miss Tapioca.

-No.

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Indeed.

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Perhaps the guilty party would care to step forward

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and take responsibility for their...

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Enid Nightshade.

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I might've known you'd be behind this half-witted jape.

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Do you have anything to say for yourself?

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No, Miss Hardbroom.

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No excuses?

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No grovelling apology?

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Nope.

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All second years get dressed and return to clear up this mess.

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And you are to report to Miss Cackle's office

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the moment you're finished.

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Prepare for the worst.

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Enid Nightshade's so brave, so daring, so...

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Stupidly silly.

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-What? How can you say that?

-She's not in the slightest bit silly.

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What's the point of toilet papering the Great Hall?

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It's a prank. A trick. A practical joke.

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It's hardly practical.

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Haven't you ever pulled a prank before? It's funny.

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I'd rather do something constructive with my time.

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You mean boring?

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Only boring people get bored.

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-I hope you're pleased with yourself.

-Yes, thanks.

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This has got to be the dumbest prank ever.

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Completely pointless.

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Touchy, or what?!

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I don't know. I sort of agree.

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Come on, Millie. It was your idea.

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Was it?

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I...don't remember...

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You said I'd be in trouble again soon, and mum would have to visit.

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Right, but...

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So I got in trouble just in time for careers night,

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and now she has to come.

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Do you really think so?

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Absolutely.

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Everything's going totally to plan.

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The girl thinks she can coast through life

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on a silver broomstick -

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she makes no effort, she's selfish, irresponsible...

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KNOCK AT DOOR

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Be firm, Ada.

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I intend to be.

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Enid.

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Have a seat.

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We've just been speaking to your mother and father.

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They were very disappointed when they heard what you'd done.

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Are they coming?

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They are not.

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The same applies to your classmates' parents.

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As a result of your actions,

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tonight's careers event has been cancelled.

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Oh, no, Miss Hardbroom, please - please don't do that.

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Everyone will be so disappointed.

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It's been decided.

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If you could make the necessary calls and announcements,

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Miss Hardbroom?

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Every choice you make has a consequence.

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Today you've shown a lack of respect for me,

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for the school,

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for your fellow witches...

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I'm so sorry, Miss Cackle.

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I can do better, I know I can.

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I'm making today an assessment day,

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and I'll be asking the teachers

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to pay particular attention to your performance.

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If you fail to impress...

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..then I'll have to consider your future here.

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Mum was bringing home-made shortbread.

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I'd cleared my tuck box already.

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I should probably speak to my mum.

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She's so paranoid she'll think it's just her they're disinviting.

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Did Miss Hardbroom speak to you?

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No careers evening, and an assessment day.

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With no time to revise.

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Does everybody hate me?

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I really wanted Mum to shine.

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Some witches are so selfish.

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I didn't mean for this to happen.

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It's so unfair!

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Why are we being punished for something you did?

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If it helps, I'm being punished more.

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Yeah? How?

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Miss Cackle said she'll expel me if I don't pass today's assessments.

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Good. I'm glad.

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I hope you don't.

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Come on, Felicity.

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I'd better go and talk to Mum.

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She's really upset, isn't she?

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We all are.

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I once gave my brother a toffee onion

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instead of a toffee apple.

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Eurgh!

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How completely absurd.

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My friend, Tempest,

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taught her parrot to say, "Help, I've been turned into a parrot."

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THEY LAUGH

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How utterly featherbrained.

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What am I missing?

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A sense of humour?

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Sorry, Clarice, you just don't get it.

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That's not possible, I get everything.

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Even fractions.

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So, no Narcissus Nightshade interview.

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Your readers will be disappointed.

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They'll probably think you made it all up.

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I'd better not lose any followers over this!

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And what about your mum's introduction?

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Enid's ruined everything for both of us.

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She deserves to be punished.

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What can we do?

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We can make sure she fails all her assessments.

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I've got the perfect potions for a pitiful performance.

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FLOORBOARD SQUEAKS

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Did you hear that?

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It came from up there.

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Mildred Hubble!

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You weren't earwigging, were you?

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Not on purpose,

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but I heard everything you said - and you'd better leave Enid alone!

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I'm sorry, I can't do that -

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and I can't have you warning her about our little plan, either, so...

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Door hinges, obey this spell - stick fast, stick well.

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MILDRED RATTLES THE DOOR

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Let me out!

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Ethel! Felicity!!

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If you can't stir with the big girls,

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stay away from the cauldron.

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Don't do this!

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Stop! Wait!

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In my opinion, creativity should never be graded or assessed, but...

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Let's make today Inspiration Day -

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I want you to paint or draw or sketch or etch

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something important to you.

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Something that inspires you -

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but before you mini maestros begin, we're missing Mildred Hubble.

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Oh, she's on her way.

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Oh.

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Better late than never - but never late is better.

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Would it be OK if I drew my mother, Miss Mould?

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She's my biggest inspiration, you see.

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Of course.

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Good idea, Ethel.

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We all thought we'd be seeing our parents this evening...

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Yes, indeed.

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Such a pity.

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Now, if you want to impress me, Think bold, think bright, think big!

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Well, let's begin.

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What should I draw?

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That's up to you.

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Just do the best you can.

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Help! Somebody!

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Anybody?

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TABBY MEWS

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Oh, Tabby, I've got to get out and warn Enid about their plan.

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WIND WHISTLES

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Of course!

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That's it, painters, time to put down your brushes.

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Gosh.

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Is it the end of class already?

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Time flies when you're having fun.

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I hope Mildred's OK.

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I suppose you'll have to report her absence to Miss Cackle...

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Oh, right...

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Yes, I suppose so.

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Perhaps you could a little more colour next time, Ethel.

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If she thinks that's bad,

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wait till she sees Enid's abomination.

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Glorious, Maud. Regal.

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Eye of newt and guppy's gill. Paint tumble, paint spill.

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Now, then...Miss Nightshade.

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I'm so sorry, Miss Mould.

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My goodness me.

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I, I... It's...

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That is completely and utterly...

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..original!

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The sunset here at Cackle's is so wonderfully inspiring, isn't it?!

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Wings like a bird, body of a rat...

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No longer human, now a bat!

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No, no, that's not right.

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Come on, Mildred. Think.

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Think!

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Body of a...mouse...wings of a gnat.

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No longer human, now a bat!

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I can fly!

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Whoops! I can fly!

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Shh!

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The others are sleeping.

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Sorry!

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What part of "Shh" don't you understand?

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I've got to go.

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Come on!

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Why are we going outside? It's daytime.

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Oh - wait for me!

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Now, where was I going?

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Milly!

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-Mildred!

-Milly!

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-Mildred!

-Milly!

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Where is she? We've looked everywhere.

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She said she had to talk to her mum, maybe she meant face-to-face?

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Millie wouldn't do that.

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She was really looking forward to seeing her.

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She might have sneaked out and gone home.

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-Ember Toadflax?

-Here, miss.

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We're still one witch wanting. Where's Mildred Hubble?

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-She's got a cold.

-She's got a cough.

-Right, I see.

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We'll just mark her as absent for now, shall we?

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I want you front and centre today, Miss Nightshade.

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Let's kick off with a protection chant.

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Exactly what we need if the flu is flying around.

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I'll just find my music.

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Puerile prankster, the class clown, remember this chant upside down.

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ALL: Skies and birds, Above my head.

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-ENID:

-Birds and skies, Head my above.

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Let's try that again.

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ALL: Skies and birds, Above my head.

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-ENID:

-Birds and skies, Head my above.

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-On your own, Enid Nightshade.

-Birds and skies, Head my above.

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-Why do you insist on chanting it back to front?

-I'm sorry, Miss Bat.

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-I can't help it.

-Is that so?

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In that case, I can't help but fail you.

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Bea, she's over here.

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-Do you want to play bat's cradle with us?

-Can't. I'm busy.

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With what?

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-Just homework and stuff.

-We've been looking for you for ages.

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Don't you want to hang out with us?

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I do, it's just I'm busy.

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Busy, busy bee, that's me.

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Woohoo! Whoops!

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You should go back inside. You're supposed to be asleep.

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-Sleep is for sissies! Wheeee!

-You're right.

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We can always nap later.

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-Wait! Was I going somewhere?

-Upside down...

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There was definitely something I needed to remember.

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-Remembering isn't what we do.

-Why not?

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Because we're batty!

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We rock and we ramble, our minds are a shamble.

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We're bat brained, and our brains are scrambled.

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I thought you'd be up here feeling sorry for yourself.

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-Can you blame me?

-I can, actually.

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I don't know what happened in chanting,

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-but I promise...

-Mildred's heartbroken

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because of what you did - now you could both end up getting expelled!

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-What?

-If Miss Cackle finds out she left the grounds.

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I recognise that sound.

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What if I don't see her again? What if I don't get to say goodbye?

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That's not going to happen, because you're not going anywhere.

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But I failed chanting.

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And got away with it in art, so you're 50/50.

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-See you.

-What about Mildred?

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Don't worry, Mildred works in mysterious ways.

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I'm not a bat.

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I'm Mildred Hubble and I need to transform back to stop Ethel -

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but I'm already too bat-brained to remember how.

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-What were you doing in there?

-Nothing.

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We did the candle, the cat's eye, fish in a dish.

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-And the tangled mess?

-We've been having a laugh.

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Me too. Or I will be.

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I do hope Mildred gets better soon.

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Right.

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Today I am going to test your grasp on the physics of flying.

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Where do I begin?

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Felicity Foxglove, can you tell me why witches ride broomsticks?

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Because it's easier than walking.

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HE LAUGHS

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Because it's easier than walking. I couldn't resist that.

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Oh, no, you don't, Ethel Hallow!

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Aaaagh! Stray bat!

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Shouldn't it be asleep? It's probably got rabies or something.

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Well, that got me noticed, but not in a good way.

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Eek! Now look what you've done.

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Whoops! Sorry.

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Although that does give me another idea.

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So that's a minimum witch-power of six for take-off.

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Excellent, Miss Spellbody.

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Now, last but not least... Enid Nightshade.

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Can you give me three reasons

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why the broomstick's the best way to travel?

0:19:090:19:13

It can be controlled.

0:19:200:19:21

-It has no fuel consumption.

-Good, very good.

0:19:250:19:28

And...?

0:19:280:19:29

-And it can furnish a familiar.

-Correct.

0:19:330:19:35

Keep up the good work, everybody.

0:19:370:19:40

-You're on track, what's up next?

-Potions.

-You'll be fine, just...

0:19:410:19:46

Help. Not Hat. What does that mean?

0:19:500:19:53

I think it says Bat. Speaking of which...

0:19:550:20:01

BAT SQUEAKS

0:20:030:20:04

-No Enid Nightshade, I see.

-No, Miss Hardbroom.

0:20:110:20:18

And Mildred and Maud are missing too.

0:20:180:20:20

I do hope they won't all get expelled.

0:20:210:20:24

Let's play a quick round of the yes or no game.

0:20:290:20:31

That's one squeak for yes, two for no.

0:20:310:20:34

You say you're not a bat. Are you a witch?

0:20:340:20:37

ONE SQUEAK

0:20:370:20:38

Wait, you don't think...?

0:20:380:20:40

Are you Mildred?

0:20:400:20:42

ONE SQUEAK

0:20:420:20:44

So, did somebody do this to you?

0:20:440:20:46

ONE SQUEAK

0:20:460:20:48

-What's the matter?

-Bats are notoriously short on brain cells.

0:20:490:20:53

She won't be able to remember the reversal spell.

0:20:530:20:55

-Then we'll teach it to her.

-If it's not already too late.

0:20:550:20:58

Come on then, quick!

0:20:580:21:00

You've got to get to potions.

0:21:000:21:02

I'm not going anywhere until I know Millie's OK.

0:21:020:21:04

BAT SQUEAKS

0:21:040:21:05

A disguise potion is important

0:21:070:21:09

for when a witch wishes to travel incognito,

0:21:090:21:12

to be camouflaged amongst the hoi-polloi.

0:21:120:21:16

A little gaudy, Felicity.

0:21:160:21:18

Nicely done, Ethel. Very twirly.

0:21:190:21:23

FAINT VOICES SPEAK

0:21:320:21:34

-Let's try this again. Fingers and toes.

-Hair black as pitch.

0:21:350:21:40

-You're going too fast.

-It won't work if it's any slower.

0:21:410:21:44

-Having a little party, are we?

-I'm so sorry, Miss Hardbroom.

0:21:440:21:48

We just need a minute.

0:21:480:21:49

THEY REPEAT SPELL

0:21:490:21:51

No wonder Miss Cackle reprimanded you, with insolence like this.

0:21:510:21:54

Millie!

0:21:560:21:58

-I didn't think I'd get to say goodbye. I'm so sorry.

-Silence.

0:21:580:22:01

Save your apologies for Miss Cackle.

0:22:010:22:06

Wait...right...here.

0:22:090:22:13

What happened, Millie? Why were you a bat?

0:22:200:22:22

Ethel and Felicity trapped me in my room

0:22:220:22:24

when I heard them planning to sabotage Enid.

0:22:240:22:26

What? How?

0:22:260:22:28

Something about perfect potions for a pitiful performance.

0:22:280:22:32

The paint, the chanting.

0:22:320:22:35

And they were about to do something in spell science.

0:22:350:22:37

-Until bat-you stopped them!

-It was those two all along.

0:22:370:22:41

We should tell Miss Cackle.

0:22:410:22:42

What's the point? I failed potions, so I'm going home, anyway.

0:22:420:22:46

Yeah, but I let Felicity down and Ethel is angry

0:22:460:22:48

because she didn't get to see her mum.

0:22:480:22:50

I know how that feels. I shouldn't have done what I did.

0:22:510:22:55

Miss Cackle would like to see Enid on her own.

0:22:590:23:03

Thanks for everything.

0:23:060:23:08

Both of you.

0:23:130:23:15

It's time, Miss Nightshade.

0:23:190:23:21

Whatever happens, you'll always be my very best friends.

0:23:270:23:30

You two, follow me.

0:23:380:23:40

One thing I cannot abide is an eavesdropper.

0:23:450:23:51

-There's something I want to show you.

-What is it?

0:23:510:23:53

You'll see. It's just through this door.

0:23:530:23:56

-Watch it!

-Move! Get out of the way!

0:23:560:23:58

Wait! No!

0:23:580:24:00

What is the meaning of this?

0:24:130:24:17

Revenge is best served covered in slime.

0:24:170:24:19

Right, Enid, I've spoken to your teachers and the feedback was mixed.

0:24:260:24:32

-I'm so sorry I let you down, Miss Cackle.

-Can you tell me why?

0:24:320:24:36

There was something I had to do.

0:24:370:24:39

You mean helping a certain Mildred Hubble

0:24:400:24:42

out of a spot of bother?

0:24:420:24:44

Please, Miss Cackle, she shouldn't get any of the blame for this.

0:24:440:24:47

She became a bat because of me. I just...

0:24:470:24:51

I had to make sure she was all right.

0:24:510:24:54

So you sacrificed your place here to help her?

0:24:540:24:57

I'm impressed.

0:25:020:25:04

You've shown you can be selfless, make an effort, be responsible.

0:25:040:25:08

-I have?

-Indeed, you have.

0:25:080:25:10

I told you earlier that every choice you make has a consequence...

0:25:120:25:16

..and loyalty and kindness do not go unnoticed, not at Cackle's Academy.

0:25:170:25:23

I must try very hard not to be so silly. I must try very hard...

0:25:270:25:33

-What was all that about?

-You were supposed to be my targets.

0:25:350:25:38

I was trying to show you I do have a sense of humour.

0:25:380:25:42

I'm not sure my sister and Felicity would agree.

0:25:420:25:45

Although they did look pretty funny.

0:25:450:25:47

I really messed up, didn't I?

0:25:490:25:51

You don't have to be good at everything, you know.

0:25:510:25:55

-Don't I?

-Nope.

0:25:550:25:56

We think you're brilliant just the way you are.

0:25:560:25:58

Come on, give us some paper and we'll help.

0:25:580:26:01

Miss Cackle said you wanted to speak to me?

0:26:110:26:14

I was so disappointed by your behaviour this morning.

0:26:140:26:17

I'm glad you managed to turn things around.

0:26:190:26:21

I'm sorry about careers night...

0:26:210:26:23

..but the truth is, it's hard being a working witch.

0:26:250:26:28

I miss out on so much, including watching my daughter growing up

0:26:280:26:34

and turning into the great witch I know she will be.

0:26:340:26:36

I'd better go. I'm proud of you, Enid.

0:26:400:26:43

Thanks, Mum. Break a broom.

0:26:430:26:46

-Miss Cackle told us the news!

-It's so fantastic!

-Isn't it?

0:26:540:26:58

Look what Mum sent - her shortbread.

0:26:580:26:59

-Did you speak to your mum?

-She's fine.

0:27:020:27:04

Glad to have more time to practise her speech for next time.

0:27:040:27:07

I'm so happy I'm staying.

0:27:070:27:09

I've learned my lesson.

0:27:090:27:10

I'll be steering clear of trouble from now on.

0:27:100:27:12

I don't know about that.

0:27:120:27:14

Yeah, I thought trouble was your middle name?

0:27:140:27:16

-Actually, it's Elvira.

-Elvira? Seriously?

0:27:160:27:19

-Hollow Wood?

-Sounded like a monster.

0:27:230:27:24

-I've got an idea.

-Oh, brilliant.

0:27:300:27:31

-What are you doing here?

-Looking for my daughter.

0:27:310:27:34

-There she is.

-You've not heard the last of this. Not by a long shot.

0:27:360:27:40

Enid takes a practical joke too far and is threatened with expulsion. Mildred turns herself into a bat but can't remember how to turn herself back. Clarice struggles to understand the appeal of practical jokes.