Bat Girl The Worst Witch

Show me my relatives on this family tree.

Yours is more of a family twig.

Yours is more like a... family argument.

Mother?!

Ethel!

Sybil!

Ethels... Ethels everywhere.

I think I need to speak to my girls. Urgently.

This...is my worst nightmare.

Now, can we please be enemies again?

Ugh, with pleasure!

Wouldn't it be great to be a police witch?

I can see you in the flying squad.

And how would you describe your mum's celebrity lifestyle?

It's fabulous, exciting...

Trashy.

I still can't believe

the famous Narcissus Nightshade's going to be here -

at OUR careers evening!

You shouldn't confuse fame with success.

Enid's mother has one, mine the other...

Oh, put a cork in it, Ethel!

Is that everything, Felicity?

Only I promised I'd give my mum a call.

That's fantastic. Thanks, Enid.

I'll post this on the Daily Bubble straight away.

You should interview me, Fliss.

My mother's got the most impressive CV -

education minister at the Magic Council,

wife, mother, Hallow.

I thought she wasn't speaking to you

after what happened with Esmerelda...

Yes, well, that's about to change.

I'll introduce her on stage tomorrow,

say how proud I am,

how I can't wait to follow in her bootsteps.

Then it's time for phase two.

Eenie! It's great to see you.

Where are you?

Backstage, preparing for tomorrow night's show.

Tomorrow night?

"Narcissus and Nathaniel Nightshade -

"Everyone's Preferred Poison."

But it's my careers evening...

No, that's not tomorrow, sweetheart, that's next week.

Then why've I been decorating the school,

getting everything ready?

SHE SIGHS

I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on.

I'm so, so sorry.

So your mum's definitely coming?

Yep.

She took a lot of persuading -

she's convinced no-one's interested in her non-magical career.

That's daft - she's brilliant at her job.

I know.

I can't wait to show her off.

Enid?

What's the matter?

My Mum's got a show booked for tomorrow night.

She can't come.

She's always busy working.

Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be in trouble again soon,

then she'll have to come and visit.

Yeah.

She never misses an opportunity to tell me off.

BATS CHITTER

GLASS SHATTERS

MISS TAPIOCA SCREAMS

-Hurry up, girls.

-ALARM RINGS

That includes you, Maud Spellbody.

-Is it breakfast time already?

-Nowhere near.

Another fire drill then?

No fire without smoke.

There's Enid - maybe she knows something.

Single file, ladies.

I've brought you all here today

because I wanted you to see

this vile and despicable act for yourselves.

Not only was this a childish and pointless prank,

but Miss Tapioca was so shocked

that she dropped her prized porridge-making pot.

Alas, poor Percy.

I knew him well.

SHE GIGGLES

Is there something funny, Beatrice?

-N-No, Miss Tapioca.

-No.

Indeed.

Perhaps the guilty party would care to step forward

and take responsibility for their...

Enid Nightshade.

I might've known you'd be behind this half-witted jape.

Do you have anything to say for yourself?

No, Miss Hardbroom.

No excuses?

No grovelling apology?

Nope.

All second years get dressed and return to clear up this mess.

And you are to report to Miss Cackle's office

the moment you're finished.

Prepare for the worst.

Enid Nightshade's so brave, so daring, so...

Stupidly silly.

-What? How can you say that?

-She's not in the slightest bit silly.

What's the point of toilet papering the Great Hall?

It's a prank. A trick. A practical joke.

It's hardly practical.

Haven't you ever pulled a prank before? It's funny.

I'd rather do something constructive with my time.

You mean boring?

Only boring people get bored.

-I hope you're pleased with yourself.

-Yes, thanks.

This has got to be the dumbest prank ever.

Completely pointless.

Touchy, or what?!

I don't know. I sort of agree.

Come on, Millie. It was your idea.

Was it?

I...don't remember...

You said I'd be in trouble again soon, and mum would have to visit.

Right, but...

So I got in trouble just in time for careers night,

and now she has to come.

Do you really think so?

Absolutely.

Everything's going totally to plan.

The girl thinks she can coast through life

on a silver broomstick -

she makes no effort, she's selfish, irresponsible...

KNOCK AT DOOR

Be firm, Ada.

I intend to be.

Enid.

Have a seat.

We've just been speaking to your mother and father.

They were very disappointed when they heard what you'd done.

Are they coming?

They are not.

The same applies to your classmates' parents.

As a result of your actions,

tonight's careers event has been cancelled.

Oh, no, Miss Hardbroom, please - please don't do that.

Everyone will be so disappointed.

It's been decided.

If you could make the necessary calls and announcements,

Miss Hardbroom?

Every choice you make has a consequence.

Today you've shown a lack of respect for me,

for the school,

for your fellow witches...

I'm so sorry, Miss Cackle.

I can do better, I know I can.

I'm making today an assessment day,

and I'll be asking the teachers

to pay particular attention to your performance.

If you fail to impress...

..then I'll have to consider your future here.

Mum was bringing home-made shortbread.

I'd cleared my tuck box already.

I should probably speak to my mum.

She's so paranoid she'll think it's just her they're disinviting.

Did Miss Hardbroom speak to you?

No careers evening, and an assessment day.

With no time to revise.

Does everybody hate me?

I really wanted Mum to shine.

Some witches are so selfish.

I didn't mean for this to happen.

It's so unfair!

Why are we being punished for something you did?

If it helps, I'm being punished more.

Yeah? How?

Miss Cackle said she'll expel me if I don't pass today's assessments.

Good. I'm glad.

I hope you don't.

Come on, Felicity.

I'd better go and talk to Mum.

She's really upset, isn't she?

We all are.

I once gave my brother a toffee onion

instead of a toffee apple.

Eurgh!

How completely absurd.

My friend, Tempest,

taught her parrot to say, "Help, I've been turned into a parrot."

THEY LAUGH

How utterly featherbrained.

What am I missing?

A sense of humour?

Sorry, Clarice, you just don't get it.

That's not possible, I get everything.

Even fractions.

So, no Narcissus Nightshade interview.

Your readers will be disappointed.

They'll probably think you made it all up.

I'd better not lose any followers over this!

And what about your mum's introduction?

Enid's ruined everything for both of us.

She deserves to be punished.

What can we do?

We can make sure she fails all her assessments.

I've got the perfect potions for a pitiful performance.

FLOORBOARD SQUEAKS

Did you hear that?

It came from up there.

Mildred Hubble!

You weren't earwigging, were you?

Not on purpose,

but I heard everything you said - and you'd better leave Enid alone!

I'm sorry, I can't do that -

and I can't have you warning her about our little plan, either, so...

Door hinges, obey this spell - stick fast, stick well.

MILDRED RATTLES THE DOOR

Let me out!

Ethel! Felicity!!

If you can't stir with the big girls,

stay away from the cauldron.

Don't do this!

Stop! Wait!

In my opinion, creativity should never be graded or assessed, but...

Let's make today Inspiration Day -

I want you to paint or draw or sketch or etch

something important to you.

Something that inspires you -

but before you mini maestros begin, we're missing Mildred Hubble.

Oh, she's on her way.

Oh.

Better late than never - but never late is better.

Would it be OK if I drew my mother, Miss Mould?

She's my biggest inspiration, you see.

Of course.

Good idea, Ethel.

We all thought we'd be seeing our parents this evening...

Yes, indeed.

Such a pity.

Now, if you want to impress me, Think bold, think bright, think big!

Well, let's begin.

What should I draw?

That's up to you.

Just do the best you can.

Help! Somebody!

Anybody?

TABBY MEWS

Oh, Tabby, I've got to get out and warn Enid about their plan.

WIND WHISTLES

Of course!

That's it, painters, time to put down your brushes.

Gosh.

Is it the end of class already?

Time flies when you're having fun.

I hope Mildred's OK.

I suppose you'll have to report her absence to Miss Cackle...

Oh, right...

Yes, I suppose so.

Perhaps you could a little more colour next time, Ethel.

If she thinks that's bad,

wait till she sees Enid's abomination.

Glorious, Maud. Regal.

Eye of newt and guppy's gill. Paint tumble, paint spill.

Now, then...Miss Nightshade.

I'm so sorry, Miss Mould.

My goodness me.

I, I... It's...

That is completely and utterly...

..original!

The sunset here at Cackle's is so wonderfully inspiring, isn't it?!

Wings like a bird, body of a rat...

No longer human, now a bat!

No, no, that's not right.

Come on, Mildred. Think.

Think!

Body of a...mouse...wings of a gnat.

No longer human, now a bat!

I can fly!

Whoops! I can fly!

Shh!

The others are sleeping.

Sorry!

What part of "Shh" don't you understand?

I've got to go.

Come on!

Why are we going outside? It's daytime.

Oh - wait for me!

Now, where was I going?

Milly!

-Mildred!

-Milly!

-Mildred!

-Milly!

Where is she? We've looked everywhere.

She said she had to talk to her mum, maybe she meant face-to-face?

Millie wouldn't do that.

She was really looking forward to seeing her.

She might have sneaked out and gone home.

-Ember Toadflax?

-Here, miss.

We're still one witch wanting. Where's Mildred Hubble?

-She's got a cold.

-She's got a cough.

-Right, I see.

We'll just mark her as absent for now, shall we?

I want you front and centre today, Miss Nightshade.

Let's kick off with a protection chant.

Exactly what we need if the flu is flying around.

I'll just find my music.

Puerile prankster, the class clown, remember this chant upside down.

ALL: Skies and birds, Above my head.

-ENID:

-Birds and skies, Head my above.

Let's try that again.

ALL: Skies and birds, Above my head.

-ENID:

-Birds and skies, Head my above.

-On your own, Enid Nightshade.

-Birds and skies, Head my above.

-Why do you insist on chanting it back to front?

-I'm sorry, Miss Bat.

-I can't help it.

-Is that so?

In that case, I can't help but fail you.

Bea, she's over here.

-Do you want to play bat's cradle with us?

-Can't. I'm busy.

With what?

-Just homework and stuff.

-We've been looking for you for ages.

Don't you want to hang out with us?

I do, it's just I'm busy.

Busy, busy bee, that's me.

Woohoo! Whoops!

You should go back inside. You're supposed to be asleep.

-Sleep is for sissies! Wheeee!

-You're right.

We can always nap later.

-Wait! Was I going somewhere?

-Upside down...

There was definitely something I needed to remember.

-Remembering isn't what we do.

-Why not?

Because we're batty!

We rock and we ramble, our minds are a shamble.

We're bat brained, and our brains are scrambled.

I thought you'd be up here feeling sorry for yourself.

-Can you blame me?

-I can, actually.

I don't know what happened in chanting,

-but I promise...

-Mildred's heartbroken

because of what you did - now you could both end up getting expelled!

-What?

-If Miss Cackle finds out she left the grounds.

I recognise that sound.

What if I don't see her again? What if I don't get to say goodbye?

That's not going to happen, because you're not going anywhere.

But I failed chanting.

And got away with it in art, so you're 50/50.

-See you.

-What about Mildred?

Don't worry, Mildred works in mysterious ways.

I'm not a bat.

I'm Mildred Hubble and I need to transform back to stop Ethel -

but I'm already too bat-brained to remember how.

-What were you doing in there?

-Nothing.

We did the candle, the cat's eye, fish in a dish.

-And the tangled mess?

-We've been having a laugh.

Me too. Or I will be.

I do hope Mildred gets better soon.

Right.

Today I am going to test your grasp on the physics of flying.

Where do I begin?

Felicity Foxglove, can you tell me why witches ride broomsticks?

Because it's easier than walking.

HE LAUGHS

Because it's easier than walking. I couldn't resist that.

Oh, no, you don't, Ethel Hallow!

Aaaagh! Stray bat!

Shouldn't it be asleep? It's probably got rabies or something.

Well, that got me noticed, but not in a good way.

Eek! Now look what you've done.

Whoops! Sorry.

Although that does give me another idea.

So that's a minimum witch-power of six for take-off.

Excellent, Miss Spellbody.

Now, last but not least... Enid Nightshade.

Can you give me three reasons

why the broomstick's the best way to travel?

It can be controlled.

-It has no fuel consumption.

-Good, very good.

And...?

-And it can furnish a familiar.

-Correct.

Keep up the good work, everybody.

-You're on track, what's up next?

-Potions.

-You'll be fine, just...

Help. Not Hat. What does that mean?

I think it says Bat. Speaking of which...

BAT SQUEAKS

-No Enid Nightshade, I see.

-No, Miss Hardbroom.

And Mildred and Maud are missing too.

I do hope they won't all get expelled.

Let's play a quick round of the yes or no game.

That's one squeak for yes, two for no.

You say you're not a bat. Are you a witch?

ONE SQUEAK

Wait, you don't think...?

Are you Mildred?

ONE SQUEAK

So, did somebody do this to you?

ONE SQUEAK

-What's the matter?

-Bats are notoriously short on brain cells.

She won't be able to remember the reversal spell.

-Then we'll teach it to her.

-If it's not already too late.

Come on then, quick!

You've got to get to potions.

I'm not going anywhere until I know Millie's OK.

BAT SQUEAKS

A disguise potion is important

for when a witch wishes to travel incognito,

to be camouflaged amongst the hoi-polloi.

A little gaudy, Felicity.

Nicely done, Ethel. Very twirly.

FAINT VOICES SPEAK

-Let's try this again. Fingers and toes.

-Hair black as pitch.

-You're going too fast.

-It won't work if it's any slower.

-Having a little party, are we?

-I'm so sorry, Miss Hardbroom.

We just need a minute.

THEY REPEAT SPELL

No wonder Miss Cackle reprimanded you, with insolence like this.

Millie!

-I didn't think I'd get to say goodbye. I'm so sorry.

-Silence.

Save your apologies for Miss Cackle.

Wait...right...here.

What happened, Millie? Why were you a bat?

Ethel and Felicity trapped me in my room

when I heard them planning to sabotage Enid.

What? How?

Something about perfect potions for a pitiful performance.

The paint, the chanting.

And they were about to do something in spell science.

-Until bat-you stopped them!

-It was those two all along.

We should tell Miss Cackle.

What's the point? I failed potions, so I'm going home, anyway.

Yeah, but I let Felicity down and Ethel is angry

because she didn't get to see her mum.

I know how that feels. I shouldn't have done what I did.

Miss Cackle would like to see Enid on her own.

Thanks for everything.

Both of you.

It's time, Miss Nightshade.

Whatever happens, you'll always be my very best friends.

You two, follow me.

One thing I cannot abide is an eavesdropper.

-There's something I want to show you.

-What is it?

You'll see. It's just through this door.

-Watch it!

-Move! Get out of the way!

Wait! No!

What is the meaning of this?

Revenge is best served covered in slime.

Right, Enid, I've spoken to your teachers and the feedback was mixed.

-I'm so sorry I let you down, Miss Cackle.

-Can you tell me why?

There was something I had to do.

You mean helping a certain Mildred Hubble

out of a spot of bother?

Please, Miss Cackle, she shouldn't get any of the blame for this.

She became a bat because of me. I just...

I had to make sure she was all right.

So you sacrificed your place here to help her?

I'm impressed.

You've shown you can be selfless, make an effort, be responsible.

-I have?

-Indeed, you have.

I told you earlier that every choice you make has a consequence...

..and loyalty and kindness do not go unnoticed, not at Cackle's Academy.

I must try very hard not to be so silly. I must try very hard...

-What was all that about?

-You were supposed to be my targets.

I was trying to show you I do have a sense of humour.

I'm not sure my sister and Felicity would agree.

Although they did look pretty funny.

I really messed up, didn't I?

You don't have to be good at everything, you know.

-Don't I?

-Nope.

We think you're brilliant just the way you are.

Come on, give us some paper and we'll help.

Miss Cackle said you wanted to speak to me?

I was so disappointed by your behaviour this morning.

I'm glad you managed to turn things around.

I'm sorry about careers night...

..but the truth is, it's hard being a working witch.

I miss out on so much, including watching my daughter growing up

and turning into the great witch I know she will be.

I'd better go. I'm proud of you, Enid.

Thanks, Mum. Break a broom.

-Miss Cackle told us the news!

-It's so fantastic!

-Isn't it?

Look what Mum sent - her shortbread.

-Did you speak to your mum?

-She's fine.

Glad to have more time to practise her speech for next time.

I'm so happy I'm staying.

I've learned my lesson.

I'll be steering clear of trouble from now on.

I don't know about that.

Yeah, I thought trouble was your middle name?

-Actually, it's Elvira.

-Elvira? Seriously?

-Hollow Wood?

-Sounded like a monster.

-I've got an idea.

-Oh, brilliant.

-What are you doing here?

-Looking for my daughter.

-There she is.

-You've not heard the last of this. Not by a long shot.