Jurgen's Jungle Gym The Zoo

SCAT SINGING

Shut up.

It's Monday morning at the zoo,

and everyone's preparing for another busy week.

Wait for it, wait for it...

Ta-da! Look at me.

There are over 200 animal enclosures at the zoo.

Some big...

Oh, dude.

And some, well...even bigger.

Erm... Hello? Is there anybody there?

Hello?

And each one requires constant maintenance,

and that requires the provision of maintenance on a constant basis.

I'll help! I'll help!

Constantly.

-Thanks a lot.

-You're welcome.

-I give up.

Keeping on top of these chores is an important daily part of

daily life for all the keepers.

Oi, mate, you missed a bit.

But some chores are so big, every now and then,

even head-keeper Craig has to call in a few reinforcements.

-Say hello, Craig.

-Hello.

Who's coming to help today?

We've got the Army in today.

That's right.

Craig has arranged for a crack squad of Commandos to make a

lightning raid into the zoo.

Erm... Is there anything we can do to speed them up?

TRAIN TOOTS

Thanks.

At last, my army of minions is here.

They will build the death ray I've designed,

then my reign of terror can begin.

Today, the zoo, tomorrow, the world!

Martin? Ready the all-terrain assault vehicle.

Where is it parked, again, sire?

Martin, just do as I say.

The Army? Why was I not told about this?

If they needed some extra firepower, then they should have asked me.

I'm the one with the big guns.

But I thought you knew about everything

happening at the zoo, boss?

Ja, ja, the army.

I remember now.

-I got a memo about that.

-So, why are they here?

Well, uh... It's...

It's top-secret.

It's classified.

No way. Maybe they're finally going to build that

new luxury gymnasium you keep promising us.

Well, yeah, that's it.

Now, the hot tub and sauna can go up there,

and the weights and rowing machine down here.

Oh, dear.

No, you muscle-bound moron, they are here to build my death ray.

And then I will melt you.

No, they're going to build my gymnasium.

-Death ray.

-Gymnasium.

-Death ray!

-Gymnasium!

-Death ray!

-Gymnasium!

Excuse me!

Please could you keep the noise down?

We're trying to shout at each other here.

Actually, it looks like the Army's first job of the day

is in the Diana monkey enclosure.

Eh?!

Craig, what's going on?

They're going to help us build our Diana monkey frame.

Did you hear that, Geraldine?

They're going to build you a new climbing frame.

Eh?!

Really useful for us cos these poles are pretty heavy.

You do need a lot of manpower.

And the arrival of all this manpower has not gone unnoticed.

Oh, aren't they just dreamy?

Oh, look at the biceps on them, Sharon.

Coo-ee, Mr Soldier.

OMG.

He's looking.

Is he still looking?

I was going to be in the Army, but I failed the medical.

-What was wrong?

-They said I had two left feet.

Well, of course you have. You're a quadruped.

You've got two right feet as well.

HE GIGGLES

So I have! Will you look at that?

Yippee!

PANICKED SCREAMS

But not everyone is happy with this military intervention.

Why are they wasting their time on the monkeys?

I need my new gim-nasium to stay buff.

Don't you mean gymnasium?

Yeah, yeah, gim-nasium. That's what I said.

Look, I'm so weak.

I can barely lift this tiny tuft of grass.

Oh, and now I broke a nail.

Back at the monkey enclosure,

work is progressing with military precision.

Sergeant Mike, can you just run us through

the technical specifications of the new climbing frame?

HE SQUEAKS LIKE A MONKEY

Yeah, well, thank you for that.

What did he say, Geraldine?

Eh?!

Thank you. Never mind.

With everything bolted down, hammered in, or simply stuck up,

it's time for Geraldine to inspect the Army's handiwork.

So, what do you make of the new climbing frame, Geraldine?

Eh?!

OK.

Geraldine, if I were to grade the climbing frame

using and alphabetical system with A being the best

and Z being the worst, what would you give it?

Eh?!

A. That's what I thought.

Well done. Very good.

With their first mission accomplished,

the animals are eager to discover what the Army will be building next.

Gymnasium!

-Death ray!

-Gymnasium!

-Death ray!

-Gymnasium!

Let's not start all that again.

Why don't we just find you two an arbitrator?

Yeah, excellent idea.

An indestructible cyborg sent from the future

to destroy that little furball.

Dude, that's a Terminator, not an arbitrator.

Oh, ah. Shut up.

Why don't we ask Duchess?

She's one of the oldest and wisest animals in the zoo.

Hello, Duchess.

I don't know who you are or where you are from,

but you're very welcome.

Right. So, what do you think the Army should build next?

Oh, the Army!

Oh, there's nothing like a regiment of fine young men...

Yes. Yeah, but what do you...

Reminds me of my time as captain of a submarine, fighting Napoleon, yes.

With the Romans.

Does it? OK.

-What's the...

-Everything smelt of eggs!

I'll never forget those days.

Yeah, but do you know what the Army...?

Army? What army?

Well, the Army here at the zoo.

-You remember?

-Oh, the Army!

Oh, there's nothing like a regiment of fine young men.

Maybe Duchess isn't the best person to ask, after all.

Man, they should build something for us, bro.

Every year we ask for a skateboard ramp, and we never get it.

And they said we could have a zip wire.

-You know it. You know they did.

-Man, you're giving it all that,

you're probably too scared to go on a zip wire.

-Yo, come here and say that to my face.

-All right, bro, I will.

I'm coming. You watch yourself, because I'm coming for you.

Very slowly.

Anyway, it looks like the Army have already selected their next target.

Yeah, what is it?

Well...

Come on, come on.

..it's, erm...

Oh, just tell us, you imbecile!

..the...

He's really milking this.

..it's the gorilla enclosure!

Yeah! Get in! New gymnasium here we come!

-Dude.

-Curse that meddling meathead.

-This isn't over!

-In your face, little rodent!

Boss, he's a primate, not a rodent.

-Geoffrey...

-Yes, boss?

Shut up.

That overgrown oaf has stolen my minions.

We must strike back, Martin.

But how?

We could wee in his hot tub, sire.

Ah, disgusting, Martin!

That's utterly depraved!

I love it!

Yes. Meanwhile, it's all hands on deck for the Army.

Oh, no, wait, hang on, that's the Navy, isn't it?

-Is the camera on?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, it is.

-Are you sure?

Yeah, the red light's, erm...

I mean, obviously, I've offered my services as head Army person.

-You mean General.

-Yeah, the general army person.

But they said Craig was in charge.

Craig, what have you got planned for Jurgen and the boys, then?

Ah, just cutting down this old net.

It's starting to fray. While the Army are here,

we'll get them to cut it down and get them to carry it out

cos it's very, very heavy.

Cutting an old net down.

Yeah, I think Jurgen might be expecting a bit more than that.

I made my plans very clear.

A three-tier gymnasium with a sauna and a hot tub.

What about the hot tub, Craig?

-Sorry?

-The hot tub for Jurgen!

I can't hear you.

I'm sure it will all be fine.

As long as there's a hot tub, I'll be happy.

And a juice bar.

Straight over there, yeah.

Cheers, lads.

With the Army's...extensive work completed,

Jurgen can't wait to see his new...

gym.

Last one in the hot tub is a big, hairy ape.

What is this?!

The roof is full of holes.

No juice bar, then?

No!

And where's the sauna?

There was meant to be a sauna here.

And this hot tub tastes of...

pee-pee.

HE LAUGHS

Sorry.

Yeah, Jurgs, it all looks the same to me.

Wait a second, there's a new net.

Guys, look!

A new net. It's exactly what I asked for.

I thought you wanted a three-tier gymnasium?

Shut up.

Oh, you hulking halfwit,

my minions can't waste time building you a gymnasium.

They have a death ray to construct.

Sire, they're leaving.

What? Minions!

I command you to return!

Minions!

Never mind, sire. How about a nice cup of tea?

-Martin?

-Yes, sire.

Shut up.

That's my line, you little rodent.

Primate, boss.

-Geoffrey...

-Yes, boss?

Shut up.