Zoo's Got Talent The Zoo

-# Bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-de-bo

-Mmm?

# Za-boo-boo-be-do-boo-wah-wah-wah

# Scab-skoo-di-bap-bap-zoo-bi-do-we wow-wow-way

# Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya

# Ya-ya-ya-ya

# Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya

# Ya-ya-ya-ya

# Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya

# Ya-ya-ya-ya. #

Shut up!

It's Monday morning at the zoo

and the public are arriving for a day of thrills...

Why's everything upside down? Argh!

-..spills...

-Oh, dude!

..and, er, bills?

That's not Bill, that's Trevor.

Doesn't matter. Now, where was I? Oh, yes.

All the visitors spend their days travelling from one end of the zoo

to the other hoping to catch a glimpse of their favourite animals.

-That is me.

-Right. Be it the lions...

-Or gorillas.

-..or owls.

-Or gorillas.

-..or elephants.

-Good morning.

-Some animals are more popular than others.

-Gorillas.

Stop it, Jurgen! I'm doing my thing.

And at the end of a long day, the public can visit the gift shop

where they come to buy souvenirs of the most popular animals in the zoo.

-That's me again.

-Jurgen, shush!

-Be it a lion, owl, elephant...

-Gorilla!

Grr! Oh, my! One of the animals escaped. Oh, it's OK.

It's just a kid. A kid in a mask.

Where was I?

Being popular with the visitors

is an important daily part of daily life at the zoo.

Like I said, I am the most popular element.

-Ask anyone.

-What, that guy?

Yes, except for that guy in the yellow T-shirt.

-He's a bit tired.

-OK, well, I'll ask the keepers.

Well, maybe not actually...

Which animal is the most popular with the public?

A lot of people ask where the meerkats are,

which is surprising.

-Did she say, "Surprising?"

-Yes, she said it was surprising.

-What's surprising about liking a meerkat?

-I don't know.

-Rude.

The meerkats? Don't be ridiculous. Those scrawny little things.

They don't even look like cats, for starters.

Er, boss, you know meerkats aren't actually cats?

-They're actually from the mongoose family.

-Shut up!

Anyway, trust me, I am the most popular.

Don't listen to the ape.

The public like us giraffes best because we're the tallest.

Well, I'm the biggest, so surely I must be the most popular.

Humans adore us as much as we adore humans.

Sauteed with shallots and a dash of ketchup. Mmm, delicious.

-Ridiculous.

-No, no.

-Definitely me.

-Me.

-It's me.

-It must be me.

Can everybody just shut up?!

-That's my line.

-Yes, just... All right.

Dudes, listen, why don't we just ask the gift shop?

-Eh?!

-The gift shop?

-Yeah, dudes, the gift shop. It sells souvenirs, yeah?

-Yeah.

-Of all the animals in the zoo, yeah?

-Yeah.

So, at the end of the day,

if we count up which animal has sold the most souvenirs,

-we will know who's the most popular.

-I like it, I like it.

Wow, Dave, that's actually a really good idea.

Actually, it's a really bad idea. Not that I'm worried or anything.

Well, we'll soon find out if it's a good idea or not.

Situated between the way out and the exit, the gift shop is run,

managed and run by manager, Suzanne. So, Suzanne...

-Oh, hello.

-How are you?

-Oh, very well, thank you.

-Good.

-Who do you think is going to win the popularity...

-It's this. Follow me.

No, no, in terms of the... Hold on, where are you going?

We've got lots of different things.

-We've got little pens, we've got the jewellery.

-Right, so...

Who do you think is going to win the popularity contest?

-Oh, that's a difficult question.

-Yes.

Things for mum and dad, like photo frames...

Yeah, but what about the popularity contest, that's what...

Things to make the house look pretty, smell pretty.

Good, that sounds lovely, but the popularity...

-Candleholders, postcards...

-Suzanne?

-..to send to your family when you've been on holiday.

-OK.

I'm just going to go. OK, bye.

So, Jurgen, you think you're going to sell more stuff in the gift shop

-than anyone else?

-Of course.

Who wouldn't want this face on a tea towel?

I'm not so sure, boss.

Look, all the other animals are really working the crowds

to up their sales.

Ta-da! Remember, guys, buy one peacock, get one free.

Roll up, roll up, everything in the gift shop has to go today.

You, boss, are just sitting here picking your nose.

The other animals are going to sell way more stuff than you.

If you want to sell stuff at the gift shop,

you need to entertain the crowds.

Jurgen? Jurgen?

-Ah!

-Back in the gift shop

and the souvenirs are flying off the shelves.

And all the animals are desperate to boost their popularity.

-Argh!

-SHE SINGS

Drumming up the shop's business by doing their business.

No, not that sort of business. Oh, really?

Oh!

The orang-utans are taking on a classical approach

to their performance.

RECORDER PLAYS

The tortoises, however, are hoping to attract a younger crowd

with some of their beatboxing.

Yo, yo, yo! Gather round, people, look at my bro go.

HE BEATBOXES

That's awesome, buddy! This is in the bag.

And over on Baboon Rock, its...

Oh, no. Who gave Woody a microphone?

-Hello, everybody.

-SCREECHING

-Whoa, feedback. How's everybody feeling, huh?

-Bored.

-It's great to be here at the zoo, huh?

-Get off!

OK, OK, OK, OK. What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop!

-Do you like it?

-BOOING

Get off? Get off!

Tough crowd.

-Sorry, it's a no from me.

-And it's a no from me, pet.

Where's your sense of humour, huh? Grow a funny bone. Really.

Wait a minute, he's so bad,

the humans are throwing rotten vegetables.

No, tell him to keep going.

Hello, what is all this noise?

Like I said, boss,

all the other animals are actually trying to entertain the public.

You have no chance. I bet you're not going to sell anything.

Nonsense.

I don't need to make a monkey out of myself to sell stuff, Jeffrey.

Those other guys are idiots.

They may be idiots, Jurgen, but they're doing something right.

It's nearly closing time and the gift shop's never been busier.

Which animal is selling the most, Suzanne?

We've got pens, we've got pencils, we've got...

Yeah, actually, what I meant was... Could you...?

-We've done this already?

-What else have we got?

How about gorillas? Are they selling?

Sloths, we've got different types of animals in here.

Right, I'll check for myself, shall I?

Oh, not selling at all.

Wait, someone's interested!

Told you, this is easy.

Oh, no, that's awkward. They've changed their mind.

Looks like they're after a tortoise instead.

Boom! In your face, gorilla!

Oh, dear, Jurgen, the shop's almost shut and you've sold nothing.

What? How is that possible?

Boys, what are you doing just sitting around like that?

-Huh?

-How many times have I told you?

If I'm going to win, you guys need to entertain the crowds.

Here we go.

Dave, get up on that stage over there

-and do some of your sweetcorn juggling.

-Er, boss?

Finally, my big moment. I just need to get my sweetcorn.

Come on, Jeff. Hurry up!

-I love sweetcorn juggling.

-Hurry up!

The gift shop is about close.

Check this out, man.

Oh!

-Dave, you are a waste of space.

-OK, need more practice.

Quick, Jeffrey, play your nose flute.

-I'm a bit rusty, I haven't played it for ages.

-I don't care.

-Play!

-All right.

FLUTE PLAYS

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Oh, that's absolutely beautiful!

Fabulous. I'm close to tears.

I'm surely going to win. I love you, Jeffrey.

Yes, beautiful, but I'm sorry to burst your bubble.

It's far too late. The count's over.

I hate you, Jeffrey.

After a long day's competition, the tills are shut,

the shop is closed and the numbers are in.

Suzanne...

-Oh, hello.

-Hi. What's the verdict?

It has been one of the busiest days we've had this summer.

It's been a fantastic day.

Yeah, that's all very interesting, but who's the winner?

-Come on.

-Come on, tell her to get on with it.

-Oh, right, let's have a little look. So...

-Yes?

-If we're talking in how many we've sold...

-Yes?

Oh, the snake.

-The snake?

-The snake one.

-Oh!

-Yes.

-Huh?

-What snakes?

-Snakes, we don't have snakes in the zoo.

Yes, we do, in the Reptile House.

I just can't believe it.

I'd like to thank my mum and my daddy, my auntie Annie

and uncle Rodriguez.

Shut up. Nobody cares. Get over yourself.

SHE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

HE CRIES

-Oh, dear!

-I can't believe I didn't win.

After everything I've done for this zoo.

-Are you crying, Jurgen?

-No.

I was just rinsing my eyes with my own tears.

Don't worry, boss, you'll always be our favourite animal.

Really? Do you mean that?

Oh, yeah, sure, dude. Except for meerkats.

-Meerkats are so cool.

-And the rabbits.

Oh, and the squirrels and the guinea pigs.

-Yes, and don't forget the peacocks.

-Yes, the peacocks. They're great.

-I hate you all.

-And gibbons.

-Oh, yeah, gibbons.

-Geckos.

-Yeah, geckos and geese. I like geese as well.

-Yeah.

-And snakes, Dave.

-Snakes are cool.

-Don't forget the snakes, they're amazing.

I truly, truly hate you all.