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The Real Bad Guy Trust Me I'm a Genie

The Real Bad Guy

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I was hit by a can, opened it and out popped a genie!

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# Three wishes set me free

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# Trust me I'm a genie

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-# Wish one -

-And on that first day

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-# I got my very own cafe -

-Taa-daa!

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-# Wish two!

-That was cool

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-# I got my own swimming pool

-Hee-hee!

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# But then I dropped the magic can

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# It filled with sand

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# And the works got jammed

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-# Wish three!

-A total catastrophe

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# The genie raved and ranted

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# But no third wish was granted

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# If one more wish comes true

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# Then I'll be free from you

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# Trust me I'm a genie. #

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Ready to spend an amazingly wicked day watching films together?

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Ready!

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Our 48-hour session of continuously watching detective movies can begin.

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Hold on tight, guys.

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Relax. I've got all the ammunition we need.

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Perfect. I'll just get the movies from my small safe.

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HE PLAYS TUNE

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Er...guys? I need a bit of alone-time right now.

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Look, over there! Check them stains on the wall out!

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HE FINISHES TUNE

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Er, Tony? How do I turn this thing of yours on?

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Just press the button.

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Aargh!

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Oof.

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Aargh!

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My collection!

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Wow. So this is what you call a small safe?

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It's more like Tony's treasure trove!

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-Nah. It's the paint that makes it look big.

-Wild.

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You've got the Humpollo 16 mission gear.

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-And you even have the karate Captain Justice!

-Yeah.

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Er, I got it off a granny at a car boot sale. Heh.

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Now, move along.

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There's nothing to see here.

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I told you to press the button, not the switches.

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Fear no more.

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Sam Sahara has just arrested Freezor,

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the villainous celebrity snowballing penguin.

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Let's watch the scene IN SLO-MO!

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-PENGUIN QUACKS

-Huh! Ha!

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PENGUIN QUACKS

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Ba! Ba! Hur...yah!

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I've played so many cop roles That my reaction was a simple,

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well-honed reflex.

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Sam is simply the bravest camel in the world.

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Plus, I hate blackcurrant-flavoured ice cream.

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I can't believe it! Do you see that fluorescent bling he's wearing?

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Is it back in fashion?

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Why does Sam always get to be a hero?

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Sam's not a hero.

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A real hero would only arrest a big bad guy, a true master of crime.

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Not some silly penguin.

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With a simple wish,

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you could be that hero, Diego.

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Trust me, I'm a genie.

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Aaargh!

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Help me!

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Somebody call SOS Hero Express!

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I think this is the end,

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my furry friend!

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APE GRUNTS

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You can't teach an old camel new tricks!

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CROWD CHEER

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Yeah, Ziggy.

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I wish I could catch a real big bad guy.

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And that's me final wish!

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Here comes a new hero!

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I call upon the powers that be

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to grant this wish and set me free.

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Check these babies out, guys.

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Who's the superstar now? Er, guys?

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Where'd you go?

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Where are we? And what are these jim-jams for?

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In the name of desert law,

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get back to prison immediately!

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These aren't pyjamas!

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Run, Diego, run!

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This way!

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Are we the bad guys?

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What have you done this time, Ziggy?

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Hey, you're late, Frankie.

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I was gettin' worried. Do you like it?

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I did this as I waited.

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Well, yes, that's, erm...cosy.

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Now that we're comfy,

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tell me about your cunning plan to get rich.

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This is the bad guy you should arrest.

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Play along with him, and I'll find a plan to... Aargh!

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For heaven's sake, Raoul.

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I told ya to be careful. You were followed!

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Is that you, Frankie? Again?

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You left them in your cell.

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Of course this is you.

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Sorry, Frankie, but you do both have humps.

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We're from the same place as you...

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and we're great fans...

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of your plans. Yeah.

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We followed all of your adventures scribbled on the toilet walls!

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Oh. Thank you.

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I'm the one who drew them, you know.

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And plus, I have another new cunning plan!

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One - we go to Banco Oasis Oasiswoods Gold Resort.

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Two - we take a huge ghetto blaster with us

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to catch the guards' attention

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and make them look outside.

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Three - then we hypnotise them

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with a giant paper windmill.

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-Four - Raoul digs a tunnel with his hands.

-Hm?

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Five - we snatch the bank manager's keyring

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from his office.

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It's a priceless collector's item.

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-Erm...a keyring?

-Yeah!

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And with two more accomplices, we could even steal

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the assistant manager's keyring!

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Oh, yeah.

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Are you ready for the heist of the century?

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What?!

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You don't get the boss' plan?

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Oh, yeah, 110%.

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But we have another one.

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Less amazingly cool, but easier.

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We know a guy who has loads of fantastic collector keyrings,

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and some very rare ones too.

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-With incorporated gadgets?

-Tons!

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Whistles, rotating toothbrushes, peashooters,

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telescopic windscreen wipers...

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And a phosphorescent nail file?

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And even a phosphorescent nail file.

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HE GURGLES

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OK. Cool. Let's do it.

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But no funny business,

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or it'll really upset Raoul.

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OK. This thing is going to be a piece of cake.

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-We're not really going to steal from Tony?

-Look.

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All we've got to do is lock the two bad guys

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into the safe and call the police.

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They get arrested, the wish is fulfilled,

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and I'm free.

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-What if Tony sees us?

-What are you waiting for?

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Well, uh... according to Article 54

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of the Desert Robbers' Code of Conduct,

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we can't show our faces.

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TONY SNORES

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Let magic-fingered Diego deal with this!

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Do you remember the tune?

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HE PLAYS BADLY

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Eurgh!

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TONY WHISTLES TUNE

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DIEGO PLAYS TUNE

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Where are they? Where are they?!

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Fourth box on the right.

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-Just behind the crystal washbasin.

-Look, Raoul!

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There's so many! I'm out of my depth here.

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All right, let's do it.

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Slowly, now.

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Oh, do you see?

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Tony kept the sculpture I made for the oasis party.

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What a huge heart he has

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under that tiny shell.

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Hey! Snap out of it, Raoul.

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Can't you see it's the snoozing lobster?

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Enough is enough.

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You better tell us what's going on...or else!

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Guys, we can explain.

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Let's skedaddle!

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-TONY ON INTERCOM:

-Ha-ha! Did you really think I was asleep? Got you.

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Now, I'm going to call the cops.

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And I'll get all the credit.

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You set this whole thing up to get us caught?

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You're not going to get away with it that easily!

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TEETH CHATTER

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Ow!

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Wah!

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I'm very disappointed.

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You are a disgrace to this uniform!

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Now, Raoul,

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if you may.

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I have an infallible cunning plan to slip away unnoticed.

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No time to waste! Put this on.

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Diego!

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Go after them! You can catch them.

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-We just need to untie...

-Only Captain Justice can save us!

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Are you sure about this?

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Chill out, Zig.

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This trick always works in the comics.

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Woo-hoo!

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See?

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-There was no need to...

-Thanks, Diego.

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Live on Channel Justice, we are reaching our destination,

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a place where a brave citizen is holding

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some dangerous fugitives captive.

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Oops.

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What's going on? This can't be happening.

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I can't believe my cameras!

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Go, Diego! Let's caramelise all these cacti.

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-Aargh!

-Wait for me, Frankie!

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I'm over here.

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Frankie?

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Aaargh!

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Got him!

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I've...I've missed him.

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Hi, guys, it's been a while, hasn't it?

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Did you miss me?

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Ah! One down!

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But there's still Frankie to arrest.

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Go, Diego!

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Diego? Ziggy? There's no way they're going to steal the show!

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HE PLAYS TUNE

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Ha-ha!

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Hey! Let a professional deal with this.

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Tony!

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We have to get there before him.

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-Woo-hoo!

-Aargh!

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Wahhh!

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Wahhh!

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Aargh! I'm jinxed. I'm totally jinxed!

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Don't worry, Ziggy.

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The popcorn is delicious.

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Go to jail.

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Do not pass Go.

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Do not collect 200 nicker!

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Parachute, open.

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Oh, dear.

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Wow. How heroic and unexpected!

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I'm Have-A-Go Tony.

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We would be honoured if you would accept this basket of

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sardine and algae terrines,

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and an assortment of candied fruit

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for your loyal service to the nation.

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It's amazing to have a real hero as a friend.

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I only did my duty.

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Hey, Ziggy. Do you want me to sign you a tin of sardines?

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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E-mail [email protected]

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