Episode 1 Ultimate Brain

See our Guinea Pig wet his pants.

Floppy pink goo goes berserk!

And will Naomi, Sam and Mark

turn out to be total dunderheads?

You'll need to run your mind

at full power to win the title...

Ultimate Brain!

Welcome to Ultimate Brain!

I am on a mission

to search for true genius.

I'm looking for cunning, wit,

intelligence, intuition,

great thick noodles

working on full power!

My name...

So these people over here

think they're pretty clever.

And they will be battling it out

for the ultimate prize - honour!

So let's find out who they are!

Let's meet the teams.

This team has called themselves...

Aleena, Connor and Liz.

Let's see if their minds

are as sharp as their swords.

Yeah, right.

How you doing, Green Team?

Good.

Where are you from?

Birmingham.

Birmingham! I know Birmingham.

Isn't there, in Birmingham, a giant

road that's made out of pasta?

No.

No.

Huh?

Never heard of that.

Never heard of it?

Spaghetti Junction!

Spaghetti Junction!

That's the kind of humour you're

dealing with in this show, folks.

The Green Team!

Our next team has chosen

to be known as...

Ella, Zachariya and Gabe.

Are they as bright

as the sun's rays,

or is there something

fishy about them?

Let's find out!

Where are you from, Yellow Team?

Roath.

Roath! Now, is that in Wales?

Yes.

Yeah.

Lovely - do you know what

the Welsh is for "brain"?

No.

No? What about head?

Um...

Pen.

Oh, so I could be Doctor Pen then.

In Welsh, we'll try that.

I quite like that.

Doctor Pen! Thank you very much.

The Yellow Team!

And finally,

the Blue-min Brilliant Team,

stars of

Naomi's Nightmares Of Nature

and Sam and Mark's

Big Friday Wind-Up.

They might be great presenters,

but have they actually got

butternut squash for brains?

Now, I know that least two of you

started out as Pop Idols,

didn't you?

We did, yeah, long time ago.

Yep, Naomi.

I want you to answer the question.

Bearing in mind that I,

being an ape, am extremely strong,

who's better-looking -

me or Simon Cowell?

You.

Definitely you, in the flesh.

You've got a lower hair line

than him.

Have I?

You're not going to sing today,

are you?

BOTH:

No.

Woo-hoo!

Fantastic!

All I can say is

be brave, be brilliant, be clever

and above all...

Try your flipping best, all right?

Let's get on with the show.

Let's fire up those neurons

with a nice simple question!

Come and see what I've got

in my laboratory.

Now, what I have here,

I have this extraordinary sort

of runny pink liquid stuff here.

It's rather weird.

Can you see it moves very slowly?

Now, what we also have is a speaker

head, just an ordinary speaker,

which can make noise and music.

We're going to pour the pink goo

into the speaker,

make a noise through it

and find out what happens

to the liquid.

Does the liquid...

A - swirl around in a uniform

direction inside the speaker?

B - splash out of the speaker?

C - dance around in the speaker

like little monsters?

Or D - something else entirely?

So, now, time to think

of your answers, please.

Have a little think.

I think D.

They're all working

their brains hard.

They need to think carefully

about the unusual properties

of this strange fluid.

Let's see your answers please, now!

It's a split decision!

The Yellow Rays and Blue-Min

Brilliant Team have opted for C,

dance around like little monsters,

while the Green Musketeers have

gone for D, something else.

What is it that you think

is going to happen?

It might splash a little bit,

but it will probably move

up and down with the speaker.

It could turn into foam.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, so you think it might sort of

bubble and splutter

and sort of foam and turn into

this sort of big, bubbly goo thing.

Yeah.

Oh, I see - that could be

interesting, couldn't it?

No, you're confident, aren't you?

Why are you so confident?

We're right.

Exactly.

And they said the same

and they seem pretty brainy.

Oh!

So you're copying the Yellows.

No, just saying, just saying,

just pointing it out.

Yellow Team,

you think C as well.

Why do you think it's going to be C?

Because with the sound, it doesn't

always come out in one place.

It might come out all the other times

so then there'll be certain blasts

which would lift some things up

and the others stay down.

He's pretty good.

That's a very good answer.

We were going to say that.

You were going to say that.

But you didn't think of it, did you?

No.

No. No.

Because you was too busy thinking

about your hair, that's why.

Too busy thinking about your hair.

Let us do the experiment!

I'm pouring...ugh!

Look at that. Weird, weird, weird.

In it goes - so, we have our liquid

inside the speaker.

Let's have a little bit of music!

Whoa, what was that? Like a little

mouth going, "Blah, blah..."

Try another one.

Eugh! It's like a monster's

going "feed me!"

Ew.

Oh, that one's escaping!

Where's it going?

It's climbing out!

Get back! Get back in!

Get back in,

I command you to get back in.

Do you think you're cleverer

than Sam and Mark?

Look! This one's gone over!

He's escaped!

"I'm over the wall!"

This one's coming.

Oh, wow.

Don't come near me!

Well, there we go.

If there's one thing

we learned about that experiment,

it's that it was right weird!

The cornflour and water

forms something known as

a non-Newtonian fluid.

If we leave it alone,

it acts like a runny liquid,

but if we try to move it,

it acts like a solid.

As the loud speaker vibrates,

it pushes and pulls on the mixture

around 100 times a second!

The result is these weird

little monster-like blobs.

They're brilliant, aren't they?

So the correct answer was C,

it dances around

like little monsters.

However, you had D,

didn't you, Green Team?

Unfortunate, I liked your answer

with the foaming and the bubbling

and all that, but unfortunately,

it was wrong.

But the Blues and the Yellows

got it right.

That means you get ten points each.

Well done, Blue and Yellow!

Next up, the Creative Challenge -

The Ramp Of Doom.

So, how can we stop this car,

once it has started

freewheeling down this ramp,

from rolling, rolling down

from the precipice...

..into the Pool of Doom?

We gave our teams three days

and a budget of £50

to come up with their answers.

The object of this challenge

is to stop the car in the red zone.

The rules are...

Two - the lane cannot be altered.

Three - you can only initiate

your plan once your car reaches

the bottom of the slope.

So, who is going to be in charge

of driving this fine vehicle

down this beautiful ramp?

Well, I'm not doing it,

and Lewis Hamilton was too chicken.

Born in a test tube.

Powered by cake.

He laughs in the face

of health and safety.

Here to challenge fear in a sort of

orange tracksuit and a helmet,

and a really stupid face -

look at him.

Please welcome Mr Guinea Pig.

What's this?

Looking good, GP.

Yeah.

Are you up for this?

Not really, no.

What do you think, Dr Gabe?

Does he look good?

No.

Do you wish you were going

on that?

Yes.

Really?

Get him to do it.

No! No!

No, it's got to be you, my friend.

Only you have the kneepads

and the shorts and the helmet.

And insurance, yeah.

Yes, only you are

dumb enough to do it.

First of all, let us find out what

happens when we put the Guinea Pig

in the car down the ramp

with no plan whatsoever!

Sounds like fun, right?

How are you feeling up there?

Not very well.

Are you ready?

I have to go to the bathroom.

In fact, I think I've already gone.

Shall we count him down?

Are we ready?

No. ALL:

Three! Two!

No, no, no.

One! Go!

This is mental.

My pants are wet.

So we've discovered what happens

when you don't have a plan -

it goes wrong.

Well, let's find out now

what the Green Team's plan is.

The Green Musketeers are Aleena,

Connor and Liz from Birmingham.

Aleena wants to invent

a machine that turns pollution

into new forms of energy.

Her powers of invention may

come in very useful here.

Do you have a plan?

Yes, we do. We've got a parachute

so then the Guinea Pig

will open the parachute...

Yes.

..and the air will go into the

parachute and hopefully stop it.

Ah, so you're after a bit of

resistance?

Yeah.

And you're hoping that is going

to act as brakes.

What? Do you think a parachute

is going to stop a car?

Yes.

But when somebody

jumps out of a plane,

they deploy a parachute,

does it stop them in mid-air?

Yeah, but then it slows them down

when they go down, innit?

Yeah, it slows them down

straight into the water.

The Green Musketeers hope

that the parachute deployed during

the run

will create wind resistance

and act as a brake,

slowing the car to a stop

before it rolls into the pool.

Well, that's the theory,

but will it work?

Let us begin.

ALL:

Three! Two! One!

Blast off!

GREEN TEAM:

Now!

Did it work?

No!

Unlucky.

Didn't quite catch air, did he?

Poor Guinea Pig, he's wet again.

Oh, dear.

Oh! He's fallen over!

All in the name of science, kids.

Science.

Didn't quite work. Well done.

Good effort. Now, Green Team,

why do you think it didn't work?

When you've dried off...

Why do you think it didn't work?

What went wrong?

I think...

I think there wasn't enough air.

Do you think it was the timing?

If you'd said "now" earlier...?

If you said "now" there...

It would have had more time

to come out as well.

If I deployed the parachute

before I took off

and just stayed up there, I'd be dry.

Then it would have worked.

OK.

Sadly, the parachute

didn't fully open.

Even if it had, would there have

been enough wind resistance

to create the breaking force

required?

On this evidence,

the answer's probably no!

# Beyond the sea

# Somewhere waiting for me... #

So, now it's time

for the Blue Team.

BLUE TEAM: Yes!

We've got your back, GP.

Yeah, sure you have.

The Blue-Min Brilliant team -

what a boastful name.

Will this idea be worthy of it?

Let us first ask Dr Mark -

in your finest Hollywood

announcer voice,

what is the name of your plan?

Operation what?

Bungee Weighty Man!

Yeah? What do you think about that?

Secondly, Dr Sam...

Yeah?

..what

is this and why is he wearing it?

Well, these are like, sort of,

wing flappy situations...

Wing flappy...?

That's the technical...

I see.

Because we actually

spent our budget.

Oooh!

We didn't have

a plastic bag attached.

Yeah, that was rubbish!

What a rubbish idea!

Where's the change?

Where's the change?

We've used it.

Yeah, you could have got

a bag for life at least!

Now, we need to know the theory.

Can you tell me, please, Dr Naomi,

in your most exciting

scientist voice,

what is the theory behind the plan?

Well, what we want him to do

is drop that sand bag out

and that will act like a bungee cord

and ping him back up to the top.

I see, OK.

And then the wings

are just for extra,

if it's, like,

not helping at the end...

They're for show, ain't they?

They're for show, yeah!

Extra air resistance.

Exactly.

And a little bit of glamour.

Exactly.

We like that.

How do you feel about this,

Guinea Pig?

Well, it's obviously not

going to work.

I'm going to drop the sand bag

and then that's going to stop

the car and I'm going to go

flying out and audition for Batman,

that's what's going to happen.

Negative!

Not with that attitude,

not with that attitude.

So we're going to try.

BLUE TEAM: Let's give it a try.

Yellow and Green Teams,

is it going to work?

ALL:

No.

Why not?

It might work,

but it won't land in the red zone.

He's panicking, he's panicking.

Look at him, he's worried.

Well, I think we should find out.

There's only one way to find out -

get up that hill!

Go on, son!

BLUE TEAM:

Good luck!

Operation Bungee Weighty Man!

Now, the Blues want the Guinea Pig

to throw a sand bag out behind him

during the run.

The weight of it should anchor

the car

and the stretchy rope will cause it

to spring back,

saving the car from the precipice.

Sounds unlikely, but could it work?

Are you ready?

Never. I'm never ready.

ALL:

Three! Two! One!

Good luck.

BLUE TEAM:

NOW!

Oh, dear! He's in the water again.

It definitely slowed him.

We slowed him! Slowed him!

It slowed him down.

Definitely something happened there.

I saw something happened.

Do you think it was

the timing again?

Yes, it was, too late.

It was too late.

Zachariya got in our...our mind.

Yeah.

Dr Zachariya knocked your confidence

there, didn't he?

A lot!

He got in our mind

and our brain.

He put your timing all out

and it went wrong.

Look at his smug face as well.

You're blaming it all on him,

are you?

BLUE TEAM: Yes.

Oh, unfortunately, the sand bag

wasn't nearly heavy enough.

It didn't produce enough friction

to stop the runaway car at all.

Therefore...splash!

# Why does it always

rain on me...? #

So, let us find out now what's going

to happen with the Yellow Team.

The Yellow Rays

hail from Roath in Wales.

They are Ella, Zach and Gabe.

Gabe loves learning

about atoms and forces

and thinks his physics knowledge

will come in useful.

This challenge will certainly

put them through their paces. Ooh!

Now, what is the name of your plan?

Save The Guinea Pig!

Operation Save The Guinea Pig?

I like that, that's pretty good.

Now what does it involve, your plan?

It involves three sorts of brakes.

Three sorts?

Three different types of brakes?

Yeah. So the first one he pulls it...

Yes.

..and poles with rubber on the end

dig into the ground...

Dig into the ground.

..so that's

more friction.

OK, more friction.

Then another one is he pulls it

again and it digs into wheels

so the wheels will slow down.

Oh!

And then the other one,

he pushes with his feet

to also dig into the track

so then there's loads of

friction everywhere.

Friction everywhere!

They know what they're

talking about, right?

Well, that sounds pretty good to me.

Are you confident?

A braking system on a car?

What an innovative

and original idea(!)

Yeah, it is original.

Sounds very good, very German.

Which means it'll work.

Are you confident that their plan

is going to work?

GREEN AND BLUE TEAM:

No!

Naysayers.

So the Yellow Rays have designed

a triple braking system

for the cart.

By pulling the lever,

rubber pads meet the floor

and the wheels creating friction

to slow the wheels.

Pushing down on the foot bar

lowers additional rubber pads

helping to stop the cart in time.

That's what they think, innit?

Ready?

ALL:

Three! Two! One!

Go!

YELLOW TEAM:

Now!

Is it going to work?

Is it going to work?

So there we go,

that's the plan - brakes!

Did you know it was going to work?

Oh, yeah.

In your heart of hearts?

No.

Yeah, I definitely felt

that it was going to work.

Oh, what a fantastic runaway

success. Do you get it?

Enough friction was created

when the brakes were applied,

bringing the runaway cart

to a gentle stop just in time!

Ah, good job, Yellow Rays.

# Don't stop till you get enough. #

And how do you feel now about

the fact that you've won that round

and you get ten honour points?!

We all feel awesome!

Well done, Yellow Team!

So at the end of that round,

the Yellow Rays are in the lead

with 20 points,

followed by the Blue-Min Brilliant

Team on 10 points

and the Green Musketeers on...none.

Ah, them's the "brakes".

Now let's find out what's going

to happen in the next round!

Now it's time for our teams

to act on instinct -

it's the Brainless Challenge.

"A little nonsense now and then

is relished by the wisest men" -

Roald Dahl.

Yes! It's time to use

that silly part of the brain

known as the Hymacopulous

Skapadabula Hubadas

Everybody say

Hymacopulous Skapadabula Hubadas.

ALL: Hymacopulous

Skapadabula Hubadas.

Thank you very much, well done.

Now, what we're going to do

is we're going to create

a new university

of egghead scientists.

Each team has one member over here

with a bucket full of eggs

and they are going to throw them

through the air, to their team-mates

over here who are furnished and

equipped with arty-crafty things.

And you are going to create

little egghead scientists

and you're going to name them.

And I want to know

what's their discipline,

what they eat for breakfast,

everything!

Are you ready?

ALL:

Yes!

Then your time starts now!

Go, go, go. Lovely move, good throw!

There, you see?

They've gone already.

You've missed one,

you've missed one,

you've missed one.

There's one there.

I'll have this one.

Stop! OK, OK, OK.

SAM AND MARK:

Ahhh!

You've got glue,

you've got glue there.

You've got little things you can...

Faster, you can throw more eggs.

Why don't you throw them at them?

Ah!

Brilliant.

Five, four, three, two, one

and your time is up!

Time is up! Time is up!

Right, put it down, put it down,

put it down.

Right, well, that looked like

a pretty good effort from all teams

but let's find out

how the Green Team did.

Let's go and have a little look.

Now, let's have a look,

let's have a look.

Who've we got over here?

Let's throw away the ones

you didn't do first.

Let's throw these away

so they're gone.

Let's have a look first, hold them

up please, let's have a look.

This is Sarah Egghead.

Sarah Egghead.

She explores stars.

Oh! An astronomer, very good.

And now let's have a look

at this one, who's this?

This one's...

Dr Giggle?

Yeah.

Dr Ha Ha?

Dr Ha Ha, we like that name.

And what does he do?

He's doing chemistry.

Chemistry?

Well, I like that, you know,

you've done quite well.

Yes, QUITE well.

Let's have a look now

at the Blue Team.

So, let's see, now, here we go,

let's have a look.

Let's start with this one.

Yep, OK.

Who is this, please?

This is Phil.

Phil?

Yeah.

Phil - and what does Phil do?

Phil...he makes a mean Chicken Kiev.

Is that science?

Oh, it is!

How do you get the butter inside it?

It's true, I don't know

how you get the butter inside it.

Exactly! Phil knows. Phil knows.

Yes, Phil knows, well done.

Phil...osopher.

Let's have a look at this one,

who is this?

This is Professor Steve

and he parks the cars

for the scientists.

Parks the cars for the scientists.

Yes.

He does.

Are you feeling a little bit hot?

Yes, a little.

Yes, he's a bit tired.

He needs to go to bed, don't you?

It's past your bedtime - you haven't

had your milk yet, have you, Mark?

I've put too much glue,

he keeps falling off.

A little too much - he's slightly

falling apart, isn't he?

He's a little bit worse for wear,

shall we say?

Shall I put him back?

So, you've done QUITE well.

Thanks, mate.

So, now let's have a look

at the Yellow Team.

Now, you've done pretty well.

Now, what is the name

of this one here?

Bob.

Bob?

And what's the name of this one?

Bob.

Bob?

And this one?

Philip.

Philip! Bob, Bob and Philip.

Sounds like a team of lawyers.

Very good - and what do Bob, Bob

and Philip do?

Well, Philip collects the rubbish

which the scientists throw at him.

Oh, right. Like the Guinea Pig.

And Bob and Bob just sit there and

watch everybody else do the work.

Oh. Now then let's have a look now.

Now I've seen everything.

Two is by two is three...

But this was quite good.

It was all right.

Now, I think I'm going to award

ten points to the Yellow Team

and I'm going to give five points

to the other two teams

because you did pretty well,

I think,

and I'm feeling generous,

because I'm a nice guy.

Do you know what I mean?

Well done, Yellow Team!

The scores now stand

with Yellow Rays on 30.

Not far behind are the Blue-Min

Brilliant Team on 15.

And bringing up the rear

the Green Musketeers on 5!

And so with the Yellow Team

slightly in the lead,

it's time for the next round

which is called the...

Oh, I can't remember.

Oh, yes - it's the Memory Game!

What we have here is a maze

and a numerical code.

Now, each team has to select

one member of your team

who is going to guide our little

Guinea Pig out of the maze

using your numerical code.

1 for up, 2 for right, please,

3 for down and 4 for left,

well done.

You will each have

your own separate maze.

And only one of you can do this.

So who is going to go first?

Me!

Dr Ella - are you confident?

Yeah!

Good! I like that, Dr Ella,

that's pretty good.

Let us reveal your maze now!

We gave our teams 20 seconds

to study the maze.

Now get the blindfold on, please.

And the other team members,

you mustn't help her at all, OK?

It's all just you, Dr Ella.

Now you can start. Are you ready?

Yes.

Your 10 seconds start now.

4, 1,

4, 1,

2, 2,

1, 1.

Amazing! Absolutely amazing.

The Guinea Pig is safe.

You did very, very well there.

How do you feel?

Awesome!

Pretty good.

As always.

Do you think you've done enough

to keep your team in the lead?

Definitely!

Well done, Dr Ella! She's brainy!

Ten points for the Yellows there.

Well done, Dr Ella!

Well done, well done, well done.

Moving on to the Blues

and who is going to...?

Who is going to be doing it

for the Blues?

That would be me.

That would be Dr Naomi.

Are you feeling confident?

Dr Ella has set the bar

pretty high, but...yes!

Ooh, I like that! Feisty!

Fighting talk, why not?

Again Naomi was allowed just

20 seconds to study her maze.

Let's put your blindfold on now.

Your ten seconds to help the Guinea

Pig out of the maze begins...now!

4, 3,

3, 2,

Well done, Dr Naomi,

and no help from your team-mates.

Look at Ella.

I'm sweating.

She's seething.

We're still winning, though,

still winning.

Yes, I'm afraid the pressure's

on you now, Green Team,

you've really got to do well

at this, you know?

Because you're lagging behind

a little, I'm afraid,

and it's going to be your turn.

So we have ten points

for the Blue Team there.

Well done, Blues!

So, who's doing it for the Greens?

Connor.

Dr Connor!

Dr Connor,

how are you feeling about this?

Nervous.

Nervous?

I think you can do it, you know.

You've just got to be confident.

# You've just go to believe

in yourself... #

Would you sing that for us, please?

No, don't!

Ah!

Thank you.

Again, Dr Connor

has only 20 seconds.

Get the blindfold on!

Right, here we go.

Now, your ten seconds with

which to get the Guinea Pig

out of the maze begins now!

3, 3, 4,

4, 3, 2,

Booyakasha!

Well done, well done, Dr Connor.

You've done your team proud there,

son, well done.

Ten points for the Greens as well!

Everybody got ten points, well done!

So, now, time to move on.

And so, with all to play for,

it's the final round,

the quick fire round.

And here are my questions.

Two points per correct answer.

So, are you ready?

ALL: Yes!

Hands on brains, please.

Here we go for the first question.

How many legs does a spider have?

Blue-Min Brilliant team.

Eight.

Is the right answer.

True or false?

There are more stars in the universe

than grains of sand on the Earth.

The Green Musketeers.

True!

Is true.

What is 20 divided by 5?

Blue-Min Brilliant team.

Four.

Is right.

What is the name of the process

when a liquid changes into a gas?

The Green Musketeers.

It went off.

Yeah. Right, OK,

you've got to answer it now.

Evaporation.

Is the right answer.

Yes!

Name the only pure metal that

is a liquid at room temperature.

Blue-Min Brilliant team.

Mercury.

Mercury.

Mercury is right.

What kind of energy is associated

with movement energy?

Blue-Min Brilliant team.

Kinetic?

Kinetic is right.

Come on, Yellows,

you're getting a bit behind.

What tree do acorns come from?

Blue-Min Brilliant team.

Oak.

Is the right answer.

How many planets are there

in the solar system?

Blue-Min Brilliant team.

Nine.

No, it's wrong, it's eight,

because Pluto is no longer a planet.

Ah!

That's what I said to you, man!

There, you see? you've got to think

about these things.

Got to be clever like me,

do you know what I'm saying?

So, that was the end

of the last round,

I can't believe it's over.

And now it's time to reveal

who is the ultimate brain!

Third place, with 19 points,

it is...

The Green Team!

Unlucky, you're third.

Did you have fun though?

Did you enjoy yourselves?

ALL:

Yeah!

That's the main thing, that's great.

So in second place,

with 35 points, it's...

The Blue Team.

Did you have fun?

Yes, very good.

Did you have a nice day?

Are you going to tell your friends

at school?

Obviously.

So that means our ultimate brains,

with a massive 40 points,

are the Yellow Team!

Well done, come on down,

come on down.

Well done, Dr Ella, well done.

Well done.

Well done, the Yellow Team.

You are the victors.

You have triumphed today.

So...you are our champions

for today.

You are our ultimate brains!

How do you feel about that?

Wooo!

We feel amazing!

Great!

OK, I'm sorry to the other teams,

please come and join us.

Come and bow, bow to the victors.

And we'll see you next time

for some more brainy fun on....

Ultimate Brain!