Episode 3 Walk on the Wild Side
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Transcript
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|---|---|---|---|
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
this week's special guest host for Walk On The Wild Side, | 0:00:04 | 0:00:07 | |
Miss Tracy Squeaker! | 0:00:07 | 0:00:10 | |
Um, I don't play that part any more. | 0:00:10 | 0:00:12 | |
I just want to be known as Dani Harmster, if that's OK? | 0:00:12 | 0:00:15 | |
-OK, Tracy, that's fine. Camera's rolling, Tracy. -It's Dani. | 0:00:15 | 0:00:18 | |
-OK, Tracy. -It's Dani! Dani, Dani, Dani, Dani, Dani! | 0:00:18 | 0:00:22 | |
Dani, Dani, Dani, Dani, Dani! | 0:00:22 | 0:00:25 | |
-Sorry, Tracy. -Oh, it's Dani! Dani, Dani, Dani...! | 0:00:25 | 0:00:29 | |
Ah, here they come! BBC NEWS TITLE MUSIC PLAYS | 0:00:59 | 0:01:01 | |
Oh, I don't want to watch them. They're so boring! | 0:01:01 | 0:01:04 | |
Now, Milly, you know we like to watch the gnus. | 0:01:04 | 0:01:07 | |
'Hello, I'm Gnu Edwards, and these are the gnus.' | 0:01:07 | 0:01:12 | |
Oh, dear! | 0:01:12 | 0:01:14 | |
MUSIC: "Four Seasons: Spring" by Vivaldi | 0:01:14 | 0:01:17 | |
HE BABBLES IN A POSH VOICE | 0:01:17 | 0:01:18 | |
Hello, I'm Pontefract Dominion Padfish Chubbygills III. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:23 | |
I'm fwightfully posh, but also fwightfully clumsy. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:27 | |
HE GASPS AND GROANS | 0:01:28 | 0:01:30 | |
Fwightful! Oh, Henry, you must think I'm fwightfully clumsy. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:37 | |
Yes, you are frightfully clumsy, but you're also frightfully posh. | 0:01:37 | 0:01:41 | |
Oh, yes, yes, quite. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:43 | |
HE HUMS "FOUR SEASONS: SPRING" | 0:01:43 | 0:01:45 | |
Oh! HE LAUGHS | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
Who keeps leaving these rocks around? Fwightful. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:49 | |
-HE SCREAMS -There's a dinosaur chasing me! | 0:01:49 | 0:01:52 | |
Dad! Come back! Where are you going? | 0:01:52 | 0:01:55 | |
I just want to show you this weird growth on my neck. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:57 | |
Dad! Dad, wait! It's just me. I love you, Dad. | 0:01:57 | 0:02:00 | |
Hmm... Yes... HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY | 0:02:01 | 0:02:04 | |
So... | 0:02:04 | 0:02:06 | |
It's a bit...a bit cosy, isn't it? HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY | 0:02:06 | 0:02:09 | |
I don't suppose you could... | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
You know, I'm not being funny, but if you could... | 0:02:12 | 0:02:14 | |
Hmm?! | 0:02:14 | 0:02:16 | |
Yeah, hi, I was just saying... | 0:02:16 | 0:02:18 | |
It's not a problem, not a problem, at all, | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
and it is not, you know, just between you and the other chap there, | 0:02:20 | 0:02:25 | |
it's just... | 0:02:25 | 0:02:26 | |
You know, the whole tree has lots and lots of... | 0:02:26 | 0:02:28 | |
I mean, not just the tree. | 0:02:28 | 0:02:30 | |
The whole forest has space, so, if you could just maybe... | 0:02:30 | 0:02:34 | |
-Hmm?! -Oh, no, doesn't matter. You're fine there. | 0:02:34 | 0:02:38 | |
I got sunglasses. My brother's got sunglasses. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:47 | |
All my friends got sunglasses. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:49 | |
All the other fish wish they had sunglasses like us fish. | 0:02:49 | 0:02:53 | |
You heard of a school of fish? | 0:02:53 | 0:02:55 | |
We is a COOL of fish! | 0:02:55 | 0:02:57 | |
Yeah! | 0:03:00 | 0:03:02 | |
-Come on, where are you? Where are you? -Here I am, Barry. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:08 | |
-"Here I am, Barry." -What are you doing? | 0:03:08 | 0:03:10 | |
-"What are you doing?" -You're confusing me! | 0:03:10 | 0:03:12 | |
-"You're confusing me!" -I don't like it! | 0:03:12 | 0:03:14 | |
No, it's not very nice, is it, annoying mirror bird? | 0:03:14 | 0:03:17 | |
"No, it's not very nice, is it, annoying mirror bird?" | 0:03:17 | 0:03:19 | |
-Oh, no, don't start. -"Oh, don't start!" | 0:03:19 | 0:03:22 | |
Oh...you are so annoying! | 0:03:22 | 0:03:24 | |
Yes, I am! Annoying mirror bird! | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
What you say, I say. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
What you do, I do. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:29 | |
And where you go, I go! | 0:03:29 | 0:03:32 | |
Oh, he's gone again. | 0:03:32 | 0:03:34 | |
ROMANTIC STRING MUSIC PLAYS | 0:03:34 | 0:03:36 | |
I'm sorry, darling. I love you. I always will, but I must leave now. | 0:03:38 | 0:03:42 | |
Oh, you're just...going over there? | 0:03:42 | 0:03:45 | |
Yeah, it's not far. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:47 | |
Look into my eyes. I'm going to look into your mind's eye, | 0:03:47 | 0:03:49 | |
-and tell you your deepest thoughts. -Get off me! | 0:03:49 | 0:03:52 | |
-Kablamo! -I don't want to look into your eyes. | 0:03:52 | 0:03:54 | |
Now, I'm getting that you are angry. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:56 | |
Yes, I am angry, because you won't leave me alone. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:58 | |
If you don't want me to read your mind, I can also do hypnotism. | 0:03:58 | 0:04:02 | |
Look into my eyes. Three, two, one, kablamo! | 0:04:02 | 0:04:05 | |
-And you're a chicken. -I'm not a chicken! | 0:04:05 | 0:04:07 | |
Oh, she's always trying that hypnosis, and it never works. | 0:04:07 | 0:04:10 | |
-SHE SQUAWKS LIKE A CHICKEN -Oh, excuse me. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:13 | |
Oh, yes, this is the life. | 0:04:14 | 0:04:18 | |
Wind in my hair, nothing but me and the open sky. | 0:04:18 | 0:04:21 | |
Hang on a minute. | 0:04:23 | 0:04:25 | |
-I'm not going anywhere. -HE PANTS | 0:04:25 | 0:04:28 | |
What's going on?! Come on! | 0:04:28 | 0:04:30 | |
I'm flapping my wings, but nothing's happening. | 0:04:30 | 0:04:33 | |
Has the world speeded up, or have I slowed down? | 0:04:33 | 0:04:36 | |
Come on! Come on! | 0:04:36 | 0:04:37 | |
Come on! Oh, God! | 0:04:37 | 0:04:40 | |
I'm going to be SO late for work now. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:43 | |
Oh, come on! Come on! Come on, come on! | 0:04:43 | 0:04:46 | |
Hey, hey, hey, come on! | 0:04:46 | 0:04:48 | |
Come on, come on, come on! Come on, come on! | 0:04:48 | 0:04:52 | |
'Hang on, weren't you on the last series of The Fur Factor?' | 0:04:55 | 0:04:59 | |
No, you're thinking of Ian the Bear. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:01 | |
I'm Kian the Bear from King's Lynn. | 0:05:01 | 0:05:03 | |
So, what are you going to sing for us today? | 0:05:03 | 0:05:05 | |
I'd like to sing Someone Like You by Adele. | 0:05:05 | 0:05:09 | |
Whenever you're ready. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:11 | |
-HE CLEARS HIS THROAT -Here we go. | 0:05:11 | 0:05:13 | |
Mic's a bit high. Never mind. | 0:05:13 | 0:05:15 | |
# Never mind I'll find someone like you | 0:05:15 | 0:05:20 | |
# Ooh, ooh | 0:05:20 | 0:05:21 | |
# I wish nothing but the... # | 0:05:21 | 0:05:23 | |
-HE SCREAMS -Oh, no! | 0:05:23 | 0:05:25 | |
Next! | 0:05:25 | 0:05:27 | |
Come on, Billy, everyone's going in. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:30 | |
Look, be a big, brave boy now. | 0:05:30 | 0:05:33 | |
-No, Mum, I'm scared. -Oh, come on. | 0:05:33 | 0:05:35 | |
Your first day of term should be exciting. | 0:05:35 | 0:05:38 | |
You'll make lots of new friends. | 0:05:38 | 0:05:40 | |
I don't want any new friends. I've got you. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:42 | |
Look, love, you can't live in my mouth all your life. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:45 | |
You've got to fly the nest one day. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:47 | |
Please, Mum! | 0:05:47 | 0:05:49 | |
No, no, no. Let go! Come on, you'll be fine! | 0:05:49 | 0:05:52 | |
I won't be fine. I go to school, everybody hates me. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:55 | |
They talk about me behind my back. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:57 | |
They say I smell. And my neck wobbles when I talk! | 0:05:57 | 0:05:59 | |
You have to go in, darling. | 0:05:59 | 0:06:01 | |
Oh, but why do I? | 0:06:01 | 0:06:02 | |
Oh, because you're the headmaster! | 0:06:02 | 0:06:04 | |
Oh, so not fair! | 0:06:04 | 0:06:07 | |
EXPLOSION | 0:06:07 | 0:06:08 | |
Did anyone else hear that?! | 0:06:08 | 0:06:10 | |
Oh! What on earth...? | 0:06:10 | 0:06:12 | |
RUMBLING AND CRASHING | 0:06:12 | 0:06:14 | |
Oh! | 0:06:14 | 0:06:15 | |
OK, so if I just... | 0:06:15 | 0:06:17 | |
RUMBLING AND CRASHING | 0:06:17 | 0:06:18 | |
Ooh! | 0:06:18 | 0:06:19 | |
Oooh! | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
-METALLIC CLATTERING -Oh, that is weird! | 0:06:21 | 0:06:24 | |
MOOING | 0:06:24 | 0:06:25 | |
Oh, come on! | 0:06:25 | 0:06:27 | |
Right, OK. Well, I can't just stay like this for ever. | 0:06:27 | 0:06:32 | |
MOOING | 0:06:32 | 0:06:33 | |
Oooh! | 0:06:33 | 0:06:35 | |
# Skippedy bab-do! Skippedy bab dibbidy-doo bah! | 0:06:36 | 0:06:40 | |
# Ah-do be-do-doo! # | 0:06:40 | 0:06:41 | |
And that's jazz! | 0:06:41 | 0:06:43 | |
Here, Graham. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:48 | |
Oh, all right, Neil? | 0:06:48 | 0:06:50 | |
You haven't seen my last piece of nose bubblegum, have you? | 0:06:50 | 0:06:55 | |
No, what kind is it? | 0:06:55 | 0:06:57 | |
It's Hubba-Blubba. Are you sure you haven't seen it? | 0:06:57 | 0:07:01 | |
-Um, no. -Oh, Graham! That was my last piece. I was saving that, man! | 0:07:02 | 0:07:07 | |
Oh, sorry, mate. Yeah. Do you want it back, then? | 0:07:09 | 0:07:14 | |
Yeah, I do actually, yeah. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:16 | |
Oh, well, you're "snot" getting it! | 0:07:16 | 0:07:19 | |
Get it?! | 0:07:19 | 0:07:20 | |
Oh, yeah. | 0:07:20 | 0:07:22 | |
LAUGHS | 0:07:22 | 0:07:23 | |
Funny! | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
Oi! Petra! Psst. | 0:07:25 | 0:07:27 | |
-What? -Come here. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:28 | |
What's up? | 0:07:28 | 0:07:29 | |
WHISPERS | 0:07:29 | 0:07:31 | |
Hmm! | 0:07:31 | 0:07:32 | |
WHISPERS | 0:07:32 | 0:07:34 | |
Hmm. | 0:07:34 | 0:07:35 | |
WHISPERS | 0:07:35 | 0:07:36 | |
Hmm-hmm | 0:07:36 | 0:07:37 | |
WHISPERS | 0:07:37 | 0:07:38 | |
Oh! | 0:07:38 | 0:07:39 | |
WHISPERS Yeah. Yeah. | 0:07:39 | 0:07:41 | |
WHISPERS | 0:07:41 | 0:07:43 | |
Yeah. | 0:07:43 | 0:07:44 | |
WHISPERS | 0:07:44 | 0:07:45 | |
Hmm. | 0:07:45 | 0:07:46 | |
WHISPERS | 0:07:46 | 0:07:48 | |
Mmmm. | 0:07:48 | 0:07:50 | |
What do you think? | 0:07:50 | 0:07:51 | |
No. | 0:07:52 | 0:07:54 | |
I wonder how Chloe's getting on with her synchronised swimming routine? | 0:07:54 | 0:07:58 | |
Ah! Er, mmmm. | 0:07:58 | 0:08:01 | |
Eeeh, eeh... | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
Eh! Eh-huh. | 0:08:08 | 0:08:10 | |
Eh-eh. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:13 | |
Hah! | 0:08:14 | 0:08:15 | |
Ehh... Aaah! | 0:08:17 | 0:08:20 | |
Eh-eh. | 0:08:21 | 0:08:23 | |
Mmmm! | 0:08:27 | 0:08:29 | |
Yeah, I think it might still need some work... | 0:08:29 | 0:08:32 | |
Flowers for Miss Squeaker! Bouquet of flowers for Miss Tracy Squeaker! | 0:08:36 | 0:08:40 | |
I'm not answering him. | 0:08:40 | 0:08:42 | |
Beautiful flowers for our host, Tracy Squeaker. | 0:08:42 | 0:08:45 | |
I'm not speaking until they call me Dani. | 0:08:45 | 0:08:48 | |
Anyone seen Miss Tracy Squeaker? Posies for Miss Squeaker. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:52 | |
Is it so hard to just call me by my real name? Dani Harmster? | 0:08:52 | 0:08:55 | |
-Am I asking too much? -OK, Tracy, would you introduce the next sketch? | 0:08:55 | 0:09:00 | |
-It's Dani! -Anyone seen Miss Tracy Squeaker anywhere? | 0:09:00 | 0:09:04 | |
Stop it! Stop, stop it! | 0:09:04 | 0:09:06 | |
EXHALES DEEPLY | 0:09:06 | 0:09:07 | |
-Stop it! -Stop, stop there. Stop it. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:10 | |
-Stop it! Hey you, you. Stop it. -I can't see anything! | 0:09:10 | 0:09:13 | |
We can see anything! | 0:09:13 | 0:09:15 | |
EXHALES | 0:09:15 | 0:09:16 | |
Bill, where are you? I can't see a thing. | 0:09:16 | 0:09:18 | |
Margaret? I can't see you. Where are you? | 0:09:18 | 0:09:21 | |
Oh, I'm sorry. How about this? | 0:09:21 | 0:09:24 | |
-Yeah. -Oh! Oh. -Yeah. Yeah, a bit more. -A bit more. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:31 | |
-A bit more, a bit more. -Just a bit more! | 0:09:31 | 0:09:33 | |
INHALES | 0:09:33 | 0:09:34 | |
-Oh! -Yeah, that's much better. -Much better! Thank you. Yes. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:38 | |
-Thank you, thank you. -My pleasure. | 0:09:38 | 0:09:40 | |
Oh, no! No, not again! Not again! | 0:09:40 | 0:09:43 | |
-Oh yeah, here he is, Jumping Justin. -Good day to you, boys. | 0:09:43 | 0:09:47 | |
Oh, look at me, I'm Jumping Justin! See how I prance, what, what? | 0:09:47 | 0:09:51 | |
It's called style, Leonard. And you're a savage. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:54 | |
-Oh, I'm Jumping Justin! -No, I'm Jumping Justin! | 0:09:54 | 0:09:57 | |
-No, I'm Jumping Justin! -No, I'm Jumping Justin! | 0:09:57 | 0:10:00 | |
-No, I'm Jumping Justin! -No, I'm Jumping Justin! | 0:10:00 | 0:10:03 | |
You're all fools. Goodbye! | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
-ALL: -Oooooh! | 0:10:05 | 0:10:06 | |
-He is cool, though. -Yeah. Nice moves. | 0:10:08 | 0:10:11 | |
GROANS | 0:10:13 | 0:10:15 | |
I feel so sick! | 0:10:15 | 0:10:18 | |
Oh, I don't feel too good, either. What did you eat? | 0:10:18 | 0:10:22 | |
-Well, a green salad. -Is that all? -Well, that was my starter. | 0:10:22 | 0:10:27 | |
It had bacon in it, obviously. Then 13 pork pies, family-sized. | 0:10:27 | 0:10:32 | |
15 jumbo sausage rolls. Like there's any other kind! | 0:10:32 | 0:10:35 | |
14 pasties, a couple of pizzas and chips. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:39 | |
A roast and gravy, lots of gravy. | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
That's not too bad. We've all been there. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:44 | |
Then, there was desert. | 0:10:44 | 0:10:45 | |
Four apple crumbles, ten scoops of ice cream. 15 sponge cakes. | 0:10:45 | 0:10:49 | |
Three mini rolls. Well, chocolate logs, really. | 0:10:49 | 0:10:52 | |
Two French Fancies, a cheesecake. Oh, and 14 eclairs. With cream. | 0:10:52 | 0:10:57 | |
And ice cream. And chocolate sauce. And sprinkles. | 0:10:57 | 0:11:01 | |
And a flake. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:02 | |
Yeah, that is pretty bad. | 0:11:02 | 0:11:05 | |
-Mind you... -GROANS | 0:11:05 | 0:11:06 | |
Try and walk some of this off... | 0:11:06 | 0:11:09 | |
Mind you, Eddie had all that, plus the all-you-can-eat buffet option. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:13 | |
Haven't seen him since! | 0:11:13 | 0:11:15 | |
Ooh, why? | 0:11:15 | 0:11:18 | |
BELCHES | 0:11:18 | 0:11:20 | |
Oh, that's better. What's for lunch? | 0:11:20 | 0:11:24 | |
Friends, geckos, country lizards, lend me your ears. | 0:11:25 | 0:11:32 | |
I stand before you today, your wise, powerful leader, | 0:11:32 | 0:11:37 | |
stand here not just as your hero, king, and noble warrior, | 0:11:37 | 0:11:42 | |
but as a legend that, modest as I am, | 0:11:42 | 0:11:46 | |
is 100% to thank for every single little thing. | 0:11:46 | 0:11:51 | |
No one's listening, mate. | 0:11:51 | 0:11:53 | |
-I beg your pardon? -I said, no one's listening. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:56 | |
But I... | 0:11:56 | 0:11:57 | |
-Yeah, and you sound a bit snooty, to me. -Get off my land! | 0:11:57 | 0:12:02 | |
Already leaving. | 0:12:02 | 0:12:04 | |
Please. Don't go! | 0:12:04 | 0:12:07 | |
You had your chance, mate. | 0:12:07 | 0:12:09 | |
Stay? | 0:12:09 | 0:12:11 | |
Oi! | 0:12:12 | 0:12:14 | |
BLOWS RASPBERRY | 0:12:14 | 0:12:16 | |
Yeah. That told you! | 0:12:16 | 0:12:19 | |
Who's this? | 0:12:23 | 0:12:24 | |
Ah, just a few more feet! | 0:12:24 | 0:12:28 | |
Just a few more feet. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:33 | |
After seven long hours, I've made it, at last, to the glorious sea. | 0:12:33 | 0:12:38 | |
Oh, hang on a minute. Did I turn the oven off? | 0:12:42 | 0:12:46 | |
Oh, beanbags! | 0:12:46 | 0:12:49 | |
Oh, dear. | 0:12:49 | 0:12:52 | |
Better go back and check. Oh! | 0:12:52 | 0:12:55 | |
Never mind. I'm always doing it myself. | 0:12:56 | 0:13:01 | |
Hey! It's us again. The cool of fish. | 0:13:05 | 0:13:10 | |
We may look like whoopee cushions, but that's cool. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:14 | |
You sit on us, and you're the one that sounds like you've farted! | 0:13:14 | 0:13:18 | |
Not us! Prrrrr! | 0:13:18 | 0:13:20 | |
Oh, yeah! | 0:13:22 | 0:13:23 | |
Right-oh, you two. Oh, that's lovely. This will be a gorgeous photo. | 0:13:24 | 0:13:29 | |
Heads in close! That's it. And say, "goat's cheese!". | 0:13:29 | 0:13:32 | |
BOTH: Goat's che-e-e-e-ese! | 0:13:32 | 0:13:36 | |
CAMERA CLICKS | 0:13:36 | 0:13:38 | |
-Oh, love, you do have an awfully beautiful smile. -As do you, darling. | 0:13:38 | 0:13:42 | |
I'm sure you don't smile like your brother Henry, that's for sure. | 0:13:42 | 0:13:46 | |
Goat's cheese! | 0:13:46 | 0:13:49 | |
CAMERA CLICKS | 0:13:49 | 0:13:50 | |
-# We don't like crickets! -Oh, no. -Oh, no. | 0:14:11 | 0:14:15 | |
-# We love them! -Yeah! | 0:14:15 | 0:14:20 | |
-# We don't like crickets! -Oh, no. -Oh, no. | 0:14:20 | 0:14:25 | |
# We love 'em! | 0:14:25 | 0:14:27 | |
# Yeah. | 0:14:27 | 0:14:28 | |
# We don't like crickets... # | 0:14:28 | 0:14:30 | |
Oi! I'm not a cricket, I'm a butterfly! | 0:14:30 | 0:14:33 | |
# Oh, no. | 0:14:33 | 0:14:34 | |
-# We love 'em, yeah! -Oh! | 0:14:34 | 0:14:37 | |
CRUNCHING | 0:14:37 | 0:14:38 | |
# We don't like crickets! Oh, no. | 0:14:38 | 0:14:43 | |
# We love 'em! # Oh, that cricket's too big! | 0:14:43 | 0:14:47 | |
-What about your Auntie Maureen, though? -Oh, yeah. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:50 | |
Her smile is really strange. | 0:14:50 | 0:14:53 | |
Goat's cheese! | 0:14:53 | 0:14:55 | |
CAMERA CLICKS | 0:14:55 | 0:14:56 | |
FRENCH ACCENT: Hello and welcome. I am the greatest camouflage artiste | 0:14:57 | 0:15:02 | |
on the entire planet. Allow me to demonstrate. | 0:15:02 | 0:15:05 | |
Now you see me, now you don't. | 0:15:05 | 0:15:07 | |
Now you see me, now you don't. See me, don't. | 0:15:07 | 0:15:09 | |
Now you see me, you don't. I am an utter genius. | 0:15:09 | 0:15:13 | |
But you don't see me. | 0:15:13 | 0:15:15 | |
-Oh, look. Isn't he just a dreamboat? -Oh, he is! | 0:15:15 | 0:15:20 | |
You can just tell from the way he walks. He's such a gentleman! | 0:15:20 | 0:15:25 | |
Defo. | 0:15:25 | 0:15:27 | |
BELCHES | 0:15:27 | 0:15:29 | |
So manly! | 0:15:37 | 0:15:39 | |
Oh, what a burp! | 0:15:39 | 0:15:42 | |
I tell you what, I can't wait for this ride to start. | 0:15:42 | 0:15:46 | |
I love rollercoasters! | 0:15:46 | 0:15:48 | |
What are you staring at? | 0:15:48 | 0:15:51 | |
-You. -Why? | 0:15:51 | 0:15:52 | |
You've come as Dracula to the Woodland Halloween party again? | 0:15:52 | 0:15:56 | |
-Of course. As always. -But I wanted to go as Dracula this year. | 0:15:56 | 0:16:00 | |
-I've got the fangs and everything. -Look, I always go as Dracula. | 0:16:00 | 0:16:04 | |
-I do the best Dracula impression. -No, you don't. | 0:16:04 | 0:16:07 | |
-Come on, then, let's hear your's. We'll do a Dracula off. -Yeah, right. | 0:16:07 | 0:16:12 | |
-I vant to suck your blood! Heh-heh! Let's hear yours, then. -Fine. | 0:16:12 | 0:16:19 | |
-ECHOING: -I vant to suck your blood! | 0:16:19 | 0:16:23 | |
CRASH OF LIGHTNING | 0:16:23 | 0:16:24 | |
Ha! Ha ha ha ha hah! | 0:16:24 | 0:16:29 | |
Oh yeah. All right. I suppose I'll go as Rudolf again, then. | 0:16:31 | 0:16:34 | |
Have you seen my red nose anywhere, man? | 0:16:34 | 0:16:37 | |
OK, I think it's stopped. | 0:16:37 | 0:16:39 | |
Let's try. | 0:16:39 | 0:16:40 | |
CRASHING | 0:16:40 | 0:16:41 | |
Oh no, not again! Look, is someone on a windup? | 0:16:41 | 0:16:46 | |
Because this is not funny any more. | 0:16:46 | 0:16:48 | |
CUCKOO CLOCK CHIRRUPS | 0:16:48 | 0:16:50 | |
Seriously! I am freaking out here! Leave me alone! | 0:16:50 | 0:16:56 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:16:56 | 0:16:57 | |
No more! Someone help me! | 0:16:57 | 0:17:00 | |
HOOTER PARPS | 0:17:00 | 0:17:01 | |
-ELEPHANT TRUMPETS -Waaaah! | 0:17:01 | 0:17:03 | |
Suzy, can you hear that? | 0:17:05 | 0:17:07 | |
LOW PITCHED WHINE | 0:17:07 | 0:17:09 | |
-Hear what? -That...that weird noise. | 0:17:09 | 0:17:11 | |
No. | 0:17:11 | 0:17:13 | |
LOW WHINE | 0:17:13 | 0:17:14 | |
-Oh, yes! I can. What on earth is that? -I don't know. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:18 | |
It's getting louder, though. | 0:17:18 | 0:17:19 | |
WHINE What is it? | 0:17:19 | 0:17:21 | |
LOUD WHINING | 0:17:21 | 0:17:23 | |
-Oh! -Aha! | 0:17:23 | 0:17:26 | |
Sorry, girls! Just a spot of sky-diving! Whoooh! Great fun! | 0:17:26 | 0:17:32 | |
Nice one, Aaron(!) | 0:17:32 | 0:17:33 | |
If you think Auntie Maureen's is bad, | 0:17:33 | 0:17:36 | |
what about Cousin Martin's smile? | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
Very true. I'm not sure where he got that from. | 0:17:38 | 0:17:41 | |
Goat's che-e-e-e-ese! | 0:17:41 | 0:17:44 | |
CAMERA CLICKS | 0:17:44 | 0:17:47 | |
Yeah, yes. Yes, take over the Earth. I'll take over all the planets! | 0:17:47 | 0:17:52 | |
I'll take over Mars, I'll take over Jupiter. I'll take over Saturn! Ah! | 0:17:52 | 0:17:57 | |
Oh, uh. Ah. Oh, just a dream. | 0:17:57 | 0:18:01 | |
I was dreaming about ice cream. Yes. | 0:18:01 | 0:18:06 | |
Just ice cream. | 0:18:06 | 0:18:08 | |
MENACING MUSIC | 0:18:08 | 0:18:10 | |
Oh, here you are, back again. | 0:18:12 | 0:18:15 | |
Right. Well, that was annoying. Oven wasn't on. | 0:18:15 | 0:18:20 | |
Don't even have an oven. | 0:18:20 | 0:18:22 | |
Anyway, at last the ocean awaits, and nothing can possibly stop... | 0:18:22 | 0:18:26 | |
TELEPHONE RINGS | 0:18:26 | 0:18:29 | |
Oh, no. Hello? | 0:18:29 | 0:18:30 | |
'Bernie, did you remember you're picking up Rose from school?' | 0:18:30 | 0:18:34 | |
Oh, yes. Just, just going now. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:38 | |
Bye. | 0:18:38 | 0:18:40 | |
Oh, fishcakes! | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
Oh, dear. | 0:18:44 | 0:18:45 | |
Oh, well, off I go. | 0:18:47 | 0:18:49 | |
Yeah, I'm always doing that, as well. | 0:18:51 | 0:18:53 | |
Hello, and welcome to Bunnies on Ice! | 0:18:56 | 0:18:58 | |
On the floor is Christophe... Ah Dean, with Bolero. | 0:18:58 | 0:19:02 | |
CHEERING | 0:19:02 | 0:19:03 | |
Yeah! | 0:19:03 | 0:19:04 | |
I love you! | 0:19:07 | 0:19:09 | |
Oh, yes! | 0:19:09 | 0:19:11 | |
Yes! | 0:19:11 | 0:19:12 | |
Woooh! | 0:19:12 | 0:19:14 | |
Oh, wonderful! | 0:19:17 | 0:19:19 | |
Whoo-hoo! | 0:19:20 | 0:19:22 | |
Yeah, yeah, yeah! | 0:19:24 | 0:19:25 | |
Whooooh! | 0:19:25 | 0:19:27 | |
CHEERING | 0:19:27 | 0:19:29 | |
I don't care what people say, | 0:19:34 | 0:19:36 | |
Strictly Mouse Dancing's harder than Bunnies on Ice. | 0:19:36 | 0:19:39 | |
-OK, Tracy, that's lunch. -It's Dani! Oh, what's the point? | 0:19:39 | 0:19:43 | |
I'm never doing this show again. | 0:19:43 | 0:19:45 | |
I can't believe how they've treated me. This lunch is awful. | 0:19:45 | 0:19:48 | |
-It's just weeds. -OK, ladies and gentlemen, lunch over. | 0:19:48 | 0:19:52 | |
Special guest, Miss Tracy Squeaker, will now introduce the next sketch. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:56 | |
My name is Dani! Oh, forget it. | 0:19:56 | 0:19:58 | |
Here's another animal with name issues. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:01 | |
Tony! Tony? | 0:20:02 | 0:20:05 | |
Where are you, Tony? Tony? Here, here, pal. | 0:20:05 | 0:20:09 | |
Have you seen a guy called Tony? It's my mate, he's gone missing. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:14 | |
Ah, no, I'm sorry, mate. What's he like? | 0:20:14 | 0:20:16 | |
Only a little fellow, but excellent at swimming. | 0:20:16 | 0:20:19 | |
-Right, well, I'll poke his eye out. -What? | 0:20:19 | 0:20:22 | |
-I'll keep an eye out for him. -OK, Cheers. | 0:20:22 | 0:20:24 | |
-Bye-bye, then. -Tony? Tony! | 0:20:24 | 0:20:28 | |
Oh, he must be around here somewhere. | 0:20:28 | 0:20:32 | |
I told him I'd just be outside the cinema. What am I going to do? Tony! | 0:20:32 | 0:20:40 | |
Oh. Oh, no. | 0:20:40 | 0:20:44 | |
Desperate. Tony-y-y-y-y! | 0:20:44 | 0:20:48 | |
GURGLING | 0:20:53 | 0:20:55 | |
Oh! Tony! | 0:20:55 | 0:20:57 | |
Oh, Tony! It's so good to see you! | 0:20:57 | 0:21:01 | |
Tony, I missed you! I missed you! | 0:21:01 | 0:21:05 | |
# I will always love you... # | 0:21:05 | 0:21:07 | |
-I'm not Tony! -Oh, shut up, Tony! | 0:21:07 | 0:21:11 | |
I love you! Tony! | 0:21:11 | 0:21:14 | |
Right, I'm fed up with all the arguments. Let's sort it. | 0:21:15 | 0:21:19 | |
-Which is the best animated movie ever? -Oh, I don't know. Madagascar? | 0:21:19 | 0:21:24 | |
-No, Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! -Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! | 0:21:24 | 0:21:28 | |
-Shrek! Shrek! -Shrek! -Shrek! Shrek! -Shrek. Shrek! -Shrek! | 0:21:28 | 0:21:32 | |
-Shrek! -Shrek! Shrek! -Shrek! | 0:21:32 | 0:21:34 | |
-Shrek! -Shrek! Shrek! -Shrek! -Shrek! -Shrek! -Shrek! | 0:21:34 | 0:21:39 | |
-Sh-sh-sh! -Shrek! -Shrek! | 0:21:39 | 0:21:42 | |
Shut up! It's Toy Story III, all right? | 0:21:42 | 0:21:45 | |
Oh yeah, Toy Story III is awesome. | 0:21:45 | 0:21:47 | |
I love that bit where they escape and all that. | 0:21:47 | 0:21:51 | |
I still prefer Madagascar. Because of all the leaves. | 0:21:51 | 0:21:57 | |
Oh, I like leaves. | 0:21:57 | 0:21:59 | |
Busy life? Always in a flap? | 0:22:01 | 0:22:04 | |
Discover the look to wow the crowd. Because now, you've got it. | 0:22:04 | 0:22:09 | |
Feather Fudge. | 0:22:09 | 0:22:11 | |
Boom that plume with Feather Fudge. | 0:22:13 | 0:22:15 | |
Make other birds love you, almost as much as you love yourself. | 0:22:17 | 0:22:22 | |
Feather Fudge. | 0:22:22 | 0:22:24 | |
SNIGGERS | 0:22:24 | 0:22:26 | |
CONTINUES SNIGGERING | 0:22:34 | 0:22:35 | |
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! | 0:22:35 | 0:22:41 | |
Oh, dear me! | 0:22:41 | 0:22:43 | |
-Is it a bird? -Is it a plane? | 0:22:46 | 0:22:49 | |
No, it's the worst superhero of all time! | 0:22:49 | 0:22:53 | |
Bubble Beard! | 0:22:53 | 0:22:57 | |
BUBBLING | 0:22:57 | 0:22:59 | |
# I really, really, really, really, really love snow | 0:22:59 | 0:23:04 | |
# I really, really, really love snow. Yes, I love snow | 0:23:04 | 0:23:07 | |
# It's so good. And later I'll go sledding with Red Riding Hood | 0:23:07 | 0:23:11 | |
# I really, really, really love snow | 0:23:11 | 0:23:13 | |
# I really, really, really, love snow | 0:23:13 | 0:23:16 | |
# I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, | 0:23:16 | 0:23:20 | |
# Really, really, really,, love snow! Oh, hi again. | 0:23:20 | 0:23:23 | |
I'm still loving snow! | 0:23:23 | 0:23:25 | |
Beware! | 0:23:27 | 0:23:29 | |
Take care! | 0:23:29 | 0:23:30 | |
Hold onto your hair! | 0:23:30 | 0:23:33 | |
It's The Curse of the Zombie Toad! | 0:23:33 | 0:23:37 | |
LIGHTNING FLASHES | 0:23:38 | 0:23:40 | |
Brains! | 0:23:45 | 0:23:47 | |
Brains, I want brains! | 0:23:47 | 0:23:50 | |
I need brains! Brains! | 0:23:50 | 0:23:54 | |
Or perhaps a warm lentil salad. You've got to have your five a day. | 0:23:54 | 0:23:59 | |
-And I can't think about Granddad's smile without laughing! -Quite! | 0:23:59 | 0:24:05 | |
What on earth is going on there? | 0:24:05 | 0:24:07 | |
Goat's cheese! | 0:24:07 | 0:24:09 | |
CAMERA CLICKS | 0:24:09 | 0:24:11 | |
Tell you what, dear. He makes us look good in the family album! | 0:24:12 | 0:24:16 | |
-ALL: -Goat's cheese! | 0:24:16 | 0:24:18 | |
Right, lads. Here we go. Top of the table clash. | 0:24:20 | 0:24:23 | |
Keep it tight for the first ten minutes. | 0:24:23 | 0:24:26 | |
-If we get any penalties, I'm taking them. -What was that?! | 0:24:26 | 0:24:29 | |
-Penalties. I'm taking them. -But I'm our penalty taker! | 0:24:29 | 0:24:33 | |
-You did miss that pen last week, Kev. -That was a great save! | 0:24:33 | 0:24:36 | |
-Wayne Rooney couldn't have scored that! -Sorry, Kev. | 0:24:36 | 0:24:39 | |
-Decision's been made. -Oh, it has, has it? -Yeah. | 0:24:39 | 0:24:42 | |
-There's only one way to settle this! -Big fight? -You're on! | 0:24:42 | 0:24:46 | |
-Big fight! Big fight! Big fight! Big fight! Big fight! -Don't stop! | 0:24:46 | 0:24:50 | |
I'm going to scream, lads. I'm going to scream. I swear it! I'll scream! | 0:24:50 | 0:24:55 | |
Ya-a-a-a-a-a-h! | 0:24:55 | 0:24:58 | |
All right, Bradley, keep your beak on, mate! | 0:25:01 | 0:25:05 | |
Oh, my. Oh, there she is. The most beautiful girl in the world. | 0:25:05 | 0:25:10 | |
The girl of my dreams. She's the only one for me. | 0:25:10 | 0:25:13 | |
There's not another girl out there who could possibly compare with, | 0:25:13 | 0:25:18 | |
with that. Oh, oh hang on, hang about. Who's that?! Scratch that. | 0:25:18 | 0:25:23 | |
Yeah, this one. That one is the most beautiful girl in the world. | 0:25:23 | 0:25:26 | |
I can see our future now. Much better. Yeah! | 0:25:26 | 0:25:31 | |
# It's Maurice! Maurice, the miserable fish! # | 0:25:31 | 0:25:35 | |
I'm so miserable! | 0:25:35 | 0:25:36 | |
Why are you so miserable, Maurice? Cheer up, it might never happen! | 0:25:36 | 0:25:41 | |
-It already has! -Oh, typical Maurice. Happy as ever, I see. | 0:25:41 | 0:25:45 | |
Clear off! | 0:25:45 | 0:25:47 | |
I'm so miserable! | 0:25:47 | 0:25:49 | |
# It's Maurice! Maurice, the miserable fish! # | 0:25:49 | 0:25:52 | |
I hate that theme tune! | 0:25:52 | 0:25:54 | |
HUMS | 0:25:54 | 0:25:56 | |
-All right, girls? -What is he doing now? | 0:26:00 | 0:26:02 | |
-Don't look, you'll only encourage him. -I'm doing it! | 0:26:02 | 0:26:06 | |
Doing what, exactly? Oooh! | 0:26:06 | 0:26:08 | |
Wait... | 0:26:08 | 0:26:10 | |
# Do-do-do do-do-do-do-do-do! | 0:26:10 | 0:26:14 | |
# Do-do-do do-do-do-do-do-do-do! | 0:26:14 | 0:26:18 | |
# Do-do-do do-do-do-do-do-do-do! # | 0:26:18 | 0:26:21 | |
Oh, where have they gone? Oh. | 0:26:21 | 0:26:23 | |
# Do-do-do-do-do...# | 0:26:23 | 0:26:26 | |
All right, Hugh? | 0:26:26 | 0:26:28 | |
Why do you think that lot always walk past in the same place? | 0:26:28 | 0:26:32 | |
Well, that's simple. It's a zebra crossing. | 0:26:32 | 0:26:35 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:26:35 | 0:26:38 | |
A zebra crossing! Nice one, Hugh! What is a zebra crossing? | 0:26:39 | 0:26:44 | |
I don't know. | 0:26:44 | 0:26:45 | |
OK, let's have another go. | 0:26:45 | 0:26:47 | |
-DRUM BEAT -Oh, that's not so bad! | 0:26:47 | 0:26:49 | |
It's like a drum! Sounds like... | 0:26:49 | 0:26:52 | |
-LONGER DRUM BEAT -Oh, no! | 0:26:52 | 0:26:54 | |
EASTENDERS THEME MUSIC | 0:26:54 | 0:26:56 | |
Oh, I prefer Tracy Beaker! | 0:26:56 | 0:26:57 | |
Tracy, I'm very sorry. | 0:27:01 | 0:27:03 | |
I've been informed I should have been calling you | 0:27:03 | 0:27:06 | |
Dani Harmster during this show, not Tracy Squeaker. | 0:27:06 | 0:27:09 | |
It's fine. Just call me Tracy. Who cares? | 0:27:09 | 0:27:12 | |
-Please accept my apologies, Dani. -Call me Tracy! | 0:27:12 | 0:27:15 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished actress, Miss Dani Harmster! | 0:27:15 | 0:27:21 | |
It's Tracy! Tracy, Tracy, Tracy, Tracy, Tracy, Tracy, Tracy! | 0:27:21 | 0:27:25 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd. | 0:27:31 | 0:27:34 |
