Episode 7 Walk on the Wild Side

Good afternoon, boys and girls.

I'm Lion Blessed,

the king of actors in the jungle,

and your guest host

for today's Walk On The Wild Side.

The most vital part of my job is my big, booming voice.

Allow me to demonstrate.

SQUAWKS WEAKLY

Well, ahem, you get the general idea.

All right? You lot wouldn't last five minutes around here.

It's a dog-eat-dog world.

You've not only got to be tough, you've got to look tough as well.

When people see me coming, they know I'm the business,

and that's because I've got a proper, tough walk.

Be lucky.

Be lucky.

Be lucky.

And tickets for the Justin Bieber, Katy Perry,

and Rihanna at Miley Cyrus's house featuring The Wanted

and One Direction concert go on sale in three, two, one,

NOW!

SCREAMING

OK, class. You all have your pyjamas on. Let's practise lifesaving.

Follow my lead, and dive.

Now, once you reach the bottom, find your brick

and return to the surface, like so, thus saving a life.

Off you go.

I can't see mine. Where did it go? I can't find it.

Found mine!

Found mine!

-Oh, I still can't find mine!

-Found mine!

Wait, here it is.

Well done, everyone.

Ooh, dropped it!

Oh!

Do mine eyes deceive me?

Is that Sarah?

Sarah! It is you!

I never thought I'd see you again.

Oh! It's like the ravages of a harsh winter have given way

to the hopeful green shoots of a wondrous spring.

Sarah, my darling, I thought I'd lost you forever.

Oh, Sarah! Your blubbering beauty would make a very penguin blush.

Oh, Sarah, let us be together always.

You what?

Oh, you're not Sarah, are you? Sorry!

Mmm!

# I like to wash my frog, yeah I wash it real good

# It's the best place to wash it Is in this neighbourhood

# I dip it, I spin it And spin it some more

# Then I dip it I and spin it Nearly drop it on the shore

# I dip it in the water Then I spin that frog

# But I ain't never ever going to wash it in the dirty bog #

-Hey, what y'all doing?

-Just washing my frog, man.

-Ain't nothing better than a good frog-washing.

-Ain't that the truth.

Leslie. Leslie the Lizard. What would you like for your birthday?

A new set of scales? How about a toy car?

What about that train set you've been looking at?

Not interested?

What do you want, then? A dead insect or something?

-Yeah!

-A dead insect?!

-Yeah!

-You want a dead insect for your birthday, Leslie?

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

-You're disgusting, Leslie.

-Yeeeeeah!

CHORAL SINGING

Hello, fish!

Huh?

God back again!

Hope everything is going swimmingly down there. Ha!

HE LAUGHS

I'm sorry, but that's a good one!

Brilliant, yeah(!)

Anyway, so I went to the shops, needed to get a lottery ticket,

some milk, and top up the gas meter, and I went to pay on the card.

Soon as I hovered the card over the thingy, blip - money was deducted.

Didn't even need a pin. Brilliant.

Perhaps that's a little tricky for you to comprehend.

Eh?

Anyway, it's time for me to dash. Cheerio!

What's he on about?

CHORAL SINGING

SNUFFLING AND SNORTING

Has anyone seen my razor?

Welcome to Smell My Tail,

the game show where you must be the first

to press the Smell My Tail bell OR be forced to smell the tail.

-Today's contestants are Ian on your left...

-Hi, there.

-..And Johnny on your right.

-Hello.

Here comes the countdown.

A-three, a-two, a-one...

-BELL DINGS

-Oh, and Ian wins!

Smell his tail, Johnny.

Smell that tail.

-HE SNIFFS

-Ugh!

Help me out, lads, I've lost my watch.

What does it look like?

Swiss-made, divers can go to a depth of 200 metres,

black rubber strap, luminous hands, stainless steel, Basil.

And you definitely lost it round here?

Definitely, because I'd just come out to sea...

Hang on, hang on! I just remembered, I don't even wear a watch.

Oh, dear! What am I like? Sorry, lads, as you were.

# You know it's true Everything I do

# I do it for... I do it for... #

How does it go? I can't, I can't...

No. No, no, it's gone.

I do it for poo?

The Superglue Super-Prankster has stuck again.

Right, who smeared superglue on my back?

It wasn't big and it wasn't clever.

-I suppose I'd better go to casualty.

-Ha-ha! Shall I come with you?

Ha-ha, very funny(!)

Who is the Superglue Super-Prankster?

Is it Spider Chef?

No way! I've been cooking with my bum. Alibi!

Is it Bunny The Kid?

No.

Is it Annoying Mirror Bird?

Is it Annoying Mirror Bird?

Who is the Superglue Super-Prankster?

# I'm a bad boy for breaking her heart

# And I'm free...

# Free falliiiiiing! #

THUD Ow!

Is everyone sure they don't need the toilet? Any of you?

I need a wee.

-I need a wee, too.

-And me.

I asked if anyone wanted to go and you all said no.

Unbelievable.

What was the point in my asking? A waste of breath. Right, back we go.

-TOGETHER:

-Sorry, Mum.

Come on.

-I'm really, really sorry.

-That's OK.

Do you mind if I go first?

Oh, Mum!

ALL: Worm!

ALL: Worm!

All right, all right.

Calm down. I'll get you some worms.

Worm.

Or a hot dog.

ALL: Hot dog!

Why? Why?

Please welcome to the stage the Badabap Philharmonic Goat Orchestra.

TO THE TUNE OF LA CUCARACHA: # Ba-da-da, ba-ba, ba-da-da, ba-ba

# Ba-da, ba-da, ba-da-da

# Ba-da-da, ba-ba, ba-da-da, ba-ba

# Ba-da, ba-da, ba-da-da

CHEERING

DRILL WHIRRS

Just finished extending the bathroom.

HAMMERING

Now on to the loft conversion.

HAMMERING AND DRILLING

That's done.

Now those shelves need putting up in the kitchen.

HAMMERING AND DRILLING

Just got time to build the garage.

HAMMERING AND DRILLING

Done. Now I have me a birdhouse.

And can we see inside then?

Er, no.

Bye.

Ah, you're back. Lion Blessed here,

king of actors in the jungle.

My big, booming voice

is now back in full working order.

Ready?

HE SQUEALS

Ugh! Urgh! Ugh.

HE GURGLES

I never had this problem before.

Aaaarrgh!

Argh! Aaargh!

I think I trod on a nail.

Well, at least you heard how loud I can be.

Now, here are some birds showing off their vocal talents.

Ow! Ow!

-Tony!

-What?

Tony!

What?

I love it around here! It's so quiet!

I know! It's lovely and quiet!

Mum! Mum!

What?

-Mum!

-What?

Just said to Grandad, it's so quiet around here!

It's so what?

Quiet!

Quiet!

I'm hardly talking, Grandad!

What about Grandad?

He said it's quiet!

What?

Quiet!

All right, I was only asking!

HE SIGHS I think it's time to move out.

Keep it down, mate.

Later on CBBC, Wild Side Productions brings you the world premiere of

Not Finding Nemo.

I fear the worst.

He's probably gone for ever.

I'm over here.

Lost without a trace.

Never to be seen again.

I'm right here.

Oh, how I miss him so.

Oh, why?

Why?

Over here.

Oh, Nemo!

What?

Oh!

So, what's the plan then, boss?

Break into the abandoned building next to the bank, see?

-Bank, yeah.

-We start digging.

-Dig.

We dig as fast as our little Italian-American hands allow us,

then when we've dug enough

-we dig up and find ourselves in the vault of the bank.

-Yeah.

-Then we help ourselves to the moolah, the cash.

-Moolah.

-Then we get out fast.

-Fast.

Back through the tunnel, out of the abandoned building.

That's when you come in. You need to have the engine

of your vehicle running so we can make a quick getaway. Capiche?

Yes. No. Sorry, didn't quite catch any of that. Say it again?

Oh, it's her.

The Princess Fiona to my Shrek.

My darling, my love, my Sarah, could it really be you?

Oh, I can hear angels singing.

It's like fireworks are popping in my heart.

I have found you at last.

The world has meaning once more.

It really is you, isn't it?

My beloved?

Sarah!

Yeah, yeah, it's me, Ricky. Calm yourself down, mate.

Sarah!

Oh, I'll never let you go again.

Yeah. This is not massively comfortable, Ricky.

You are squashing me, Rick.

This is why we split up last time. Ugh!

MUSIC: "Born To Be Wild" by Steppenwolf

What about this, Rosie? Much better than that Messy J you listen to.

Hoo-hoo!

Yeah, it's not really my thing, Dad.

Come on, Rosie.

Let's see the head-banging. Whoo!

Fine.

Whoo(!)

Yeah(!)

Yeah! Dad rock!

Oh, hang on.

PFFFRRT!

Oh, that should freshen the place up.

Now, this tree may look far too slender

for a bear of my size to climb,

but I have calculated my own weight

in relation to the tensile strength and height of this tree

and the simple physics,

as you will see,

I will be able to climb to the top without any problem.

This, now, bowing of the wood is quite natural.

Ah.

It's not broken.

It's a small splinter. Give me a moment.

What about a computer game, like the other boys? A nice computer game.

A computer game about dead flies then.

Yeah!

What about a crushed ladybird?

Yeah!

What about half a wasp?

Yeah!

Oh, this is so disgusting, Leslie. What else to you want? An old toilet?

Yeah!

-I'm so disappointed.

-Yeah!

Hi, my name is Milo and I've always loved music

so we formed a band.

The greatest band in the world.

Thanks, Harmony. You should introduce yourself now.

Hi, I'm Harmony.

And I'm Lunar.

And I'm Zak and we are Feathers Forevers.

Feathers Forevers.

So, anyway, we've always wanted to be owl pop stars.

Owl pop stars.

I love Pop-Tarts.

If we could record just one song.

That'd be a dream come true.

Hi, my name is Milo and I've always loved music so we formed a band.

-AUTOTUNED:

-# The greatest band in the world. #

Thanks, Harmony. You should introduce yourself now.

-# Hi, I'm Harmony

-And I'm Lunar

# And I'm Zak

# And we are owl pop stars

# Feathers Forevers

# Believe in ourselves

# Feathers Forevers

# Owl pop stars

# Feathers Forevers

# Pop, pop, pop, owl pop stars

# Lunar has an amazing voice too

# Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, whooo!

# Pop stars!

# Owl pop stars. #

I love Pop-Tarts.

So, anyway.

# Feathers Forevers

-# Owl pop stars

-Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh

# Feathers Forevers

# Pop, pop, pop, owl pop stars

# That's always been our thing

# P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-popstars

# If we could record just one song. #

That'd be a dream come true.

# Owl pop stars. #

< Stefan! Stefan! Stefan?

I'm sure somebody said my name.

Stefan!

I knew it. Where is it coming from?

Stefan! Stefan?

Who is down there?

I can't see you. Could you speak up a bit?

Stefan? Stefan!

-Hello?

-Stefan!

-Hello, yes, it's me, Stefan.

Stefan!

-Where are you?

-Stefan!

Hello?

Stefan?

Hello? Hello?

Stefan! Stefan! Stefan!

Oh, no, I can't go out like this. I only got my feathers done yesterday.

I'm going to the aviary later on.

Dad, have you seen my feather straighteners anywhere?

Oh, no, not again. Just do it with your beak, Beth.

I can't do it with my beak. Are you kidding me?

Dad, this is an emergency.

Maybe your sister's taken them.

-Ask your sister.

-Lisa, have you got my straighteners?

Why would I have your straighteners? I need straighteners.

Have you taken my straighteners?

No, I haven't. Have you taken my straighteners?

Oh, what have I started?

-BOTH:

-Dad! Dad, I need new straighteners.

-Can I have some new straighteners?

-Dad, I can't go out like this.

-Dad! Dad! Dad!

-More straighteners. Dad!

-Dad!

-Dad!

-Dad!

-Dad!

-Dad!

Every time your mum has a night out.

-Straighteners! Dad!

-Dad!

-Honestly.

# It's Maurice Maurice the Miserable Fish. #

I'm so miserable.

Maurice, it must be exhausting being miserable.

Why are you such a misery all the time?

Leave me alone. I'm happy being miserable.

That doesn't even make sense, Maurice.

Are you happy or miserable?

Clear off.

Being miserable makes me happy and I hate being happy.

It makes me miserable.

# It's Maurice Maurice the Miserable Fish. #

Ugh. I hate that theme tune.

# I dip it and spin it and dip it some more

# I spin it, dip it on the floor. #

-Hey, still washing your frog?

-You know it, man.

-Ain't nothing better than a good frog washing.

-Ain't that the truth?

But I likes me a good frog-eating too.

Mmm, yeah, good froggy.

There. All fixed.

All that remains for me now is to climb this tree,

thus proving physics correct.

Aaargh!

Well, that was at least a marvellous demonstration of gravity, no?

Hey, Dougie, have you still got that echo-chamber botty?

Aye, Duncan. But I've upgraded it for a wee helium one.

-Och, can I give it a go?

-Aye, knock yourself out.

HIGH-PITCHED: # And it's me you need to show

# How deep is your love? #

You know I dinnae like the Bee Gees.

Sorry, Dougie. What about your man Plan B?

Oh, I'm a big fan.

# She said, "I love you, boy I love you so."

-# I love your botty Yes, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh.

-#

Stefan?

Hello?

Stefan!

I should be able to see him from here.

Hello?

If only I wasn't a little hard of hearing.

-Hello?

-Stefan? Stefan!

-Hi!

-Stefan?

-I can hear you but I...

I trod on my glasses so I can't see you. Is it you, Imran?

Stefan!

Good to see you back.

Perhaps, one day, you would like to be an actor like me.

Well, developing a big, booming voice is not easy.

It takes practice.

Start by filling your lungs with air and then let rip.

HE YAWNS

Actually, I'm a bit sleepy.

HE YAWNS

Oh, have a look at the next sketch while I take a nap.

The Superglue Super-Prankster has stuck again.

I can't take off.

Yeah, I think... I think my feet are stuck.

-They won't move.

-I don't believe it.

Someone has superglued our feet to the rock. This isn't funny.

I'm going to be late for Pilates now.

Who is the Superglue Super-Prankster?

Is it the penguin that does impressions of insects?

Bzzzzzz. Wasn't me. Bzzzzz.

Is it the slow warthog?

No...it...was...

..n't...

..me.

Is it the coughing bird?

-COUGHING

-No, it's got nothing to...

-COUGHING

-It's got nothing to do with me.

-I wasn't even...

-COUGHING

-Nothing to do with me. Honestly.

-COUGHING

Who is the Superglue Super-Prankster?

MUSIC: "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake

OK, Rosie, you must like this miles better than that One Collection

you love so much. Whoa!

Well, it's all right, I suppose. If you are a dad.

Come on, Rosie, bang that head. You'll love it. Yeah.

Yeah, it's making me a bit dizzy, Dad.

That's normal, Rosie, don't worry about it. This is dad rock!

Yeah!

So, I steamed in the box, Craig sent a ball over - beautiful.

Right on my noggin. Bosh - top corner. 1-0. Game over.

Lovely.

-ICE-CREAM VAN JINGLES

-Oh, ice cream! Wicked!

I love ice cream.

Yes, I'm going to get to the front of the queue and bag me a 99.

-Oh, ice cream.

-Yes. Ice cream!

-I love ice cream!

No! Please, no.

Coming soon,

a film unlike any you have seen before.

Take everything you have ever known about penguins

and throw it out of the window.

This year's must-see movie -

Penguins In The Jungle.

Dylan? Where has Dylan gone?

Has anyone seen Dylan?

Oh, where am I?

Oh, is this a dream?

It's not a dream. It's real.

Penguins In The Jungle.

Satnav.

I need my satnav.

Oh, this is absolutely terrible.

What is this colour?

I don't even know what these things are.

Oh, I do not like being warm, that's for sure.

Let's just wait here until it snows.

It's got to snow soon.

Penguins In The Jungle.

Oh, a flute.

MUSIC: "Music Man Pt II" by Pleasure Web

Oh, yeah.

Deep in the jungle, reigns the greatest superhero of our time

and he goes by the name of Super Lizard.

"Super" being short for "superb".

Super Lizard!

In fact, he is so good, there are no crimes left to solve.

Ha! Ants! Super Lizard here to save you.

No, you're fine, Super Lizard, we're just doing the shopping.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah, fine, thanks, Super Lizard.

Oh.

Super Lizard!

PHONE RINGS Shall I get that for you, Mark?

-Yeah, do you mind?

-Of course not.

-Oh, I can't find it.

-Oh, come on, Oscar.

It's going to go to voicemail in a minute.

It's not my fault you swallowed your phone, is it?

-Oh, I think they have hung up.

-Oh, forget it, then.

PHONE RINGS Oh, there it goes again.

Oh, come on, it's probably really important.

Mark didn't swallow his phone again, did he?

-Yeah, fourth time this month.

-Oh, what a doughnut.

It's not funny. Clear off!

MUSIC: "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen

Come on, now, Rosebud, this is a classic.

Forget about that Lady Baa-Baa, yeah? You must love this one.

Actually, I do. This is awesome.

Of course you do, it's dad-rock.

Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Dad-rock! Yeah!

-Yeah!

-Whoa!

-Whoa!

-Yeah!

-Dad-rock!

Whoo! Yeah!

Where is it? Any luck?

No. You?

No.

Oh, I think I found it. Is that it?

-No.

-Oh, where could it be?

-Shall we give up?

-Yeah, I think so.

We have pretty much torn the whole haystack apart.

Oh, well, I guess I'll just have to use my spare needle.

Yeah. You've got a spare needle?

Now you tell me!

Oh, a nice bit of calm water. Just what I needed.

GURGLING

Oh, no! Who pulled the plug out?

Aaargh!

Aargh! Aargh!

Somebody put it back in!

Oh, Gregory, it's been a perfect evening.

This is so romantic.

There's views here of the whole jungle.

Yes, I know. It's wonderful.

It's my favourite spot, Frogina.

The moonlight reflecting in your beautiful eyes

causes my heart to flutter.

Oh, this is heaven.

Frogina, I have a question to ask you.

While we are here, surrounded by these wonderful views. I...

Good views, you say?

Oh, you don't mind if I join you, do you?

Excuse me. Mind out, chief. Excuse me. Sorry, mate. Sorry.

Oh, wow. That is lovely.

That's absolutely beautiful, isn't it, that? You're right.

You are right.

Ow. That's my best eye. Gregory, do something.

I can't breathe, Frogina. I can't breathe.

Oh, yes. Beautiful.

The way the sun is glistening on the mountains there. Look at that.

You can't. You can't see, can you? That is fantastic.

Well, thanks for pointing that out. I'd never have discovered this

by myself. I could watch this for hours.

And I probably will.

Lovely. Lovely, lovely views.

-Stefan!

-Yes, Imran?

-Stefan!

-Imran! I'm here in this hole.

Oh, it's such a shame.

I saw a lovely point at the top of this tree

you would just love to perch on.

Stefan!

Imran, it's me, it's Stefan. Hello, I'm here. I'm here in the nook.

Stefan!

Whatever are you doing down there?

Imran! Imran!

Stefan!

-Hello!

-Stefan!

-Hello!

-Stefan!

-Hello!

Stefan!

Hello? Hello?

Oh, this is so frustrating.

-I'm dying to tell him about the lovely nook in this tree.

-Hello?

-He would love to hang out of it.

-Hello?

-Absolutely love it.

Stefan?

-Hello?

-There's a nook, Stefan.

Well, that was a nice nap.

And there's just time for me to bid you goodbye

before the show ends.

But first, here's my party piece.

I will demonstrate my famous roar without even moving my mouth.

Rrrrooooaaaaaarrr!

Now, that's acting! Good night.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd