Episode 10 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS


Episode 10

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Transcript


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Well, hello, there!

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This is Whoops I Missed The Bus, the show that takes you by the hand

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and whisks you across the dance floor of delight that is CBBC.

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So, have you missed a trick and forgotten to watch this?

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It's very exciting...

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Whoa, it's moving!

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-ALL:

-It's moving!

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Are you up-to-date with all the Strange Hill High adventures?

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It's mine! All mine!

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And would you like to see more of the...

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Oh!

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Oh, right on the lens.

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I can't see a thing with these on.

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If the answer to any of those questions is yes, no,

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or even maybe, then stick around,

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because our resident vloggers Lauren and Myles are ready and waiting

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to bring you up to speed on everything CBBC.

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I've got loads to tell you, so stay tuned.

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Nyyaommm!

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Ooh, that bus is fast.

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OK, and for my first trick,

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I present to you a vlogger called...

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This week saw the last episode of...

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Hello, boys and girls.

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John Archer is definitely my favourite magician on the show.

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I can't wait to see what trick he is going to do.

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I work here. I also help design new toys - you know,

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new things that need to be made.

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I love to do that, honestly, it's really exciting.

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I see what he's doing.

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What he's doing is pretending to be a toymaker -

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so, you know, he's going to give them a little bit of build-up,

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you know, make them really believe his disguise.

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So, I'm working on XXL toys - you know,

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like toys that are normal toys, but we just make them bigger.

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All right, John Archer, enough of the build-up now,

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let's get on with the trick, eh?

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But I've been working on a special range,

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like, what we call - it's my XXL range.

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Yeah, all right, John Archer, got it,

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you're a toymaker who makes toys extra big. Got it.

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So, I've worked on things like, er, I worked on toy cars,

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and I made toy cars a lot bigger, so you could sit in them, you know?

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And I worked on, like, I made a giant doll's house,

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you know, a really big doll's house - to be honest,

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it was just like a real house.

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Except it cost more. So that wasn't very popular, you know?

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It never caught on.

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Me mum always used to say,

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she used to say, "Ian, mind your Ps and Qs."

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Now, I've been working on a large-scale version...

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He's starting the trick... KLAXON

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He's starting the trick!

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John Archer is starting the trick! Yes!

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MUSIC: "Celebration" by Kool & The Gang

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# Woo-hoo! #

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Top hat, wand, magician.

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Today I'm going to be demonstrating just how magic I am

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by performing one of the tricks from this episode.

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In this trick, James shakes up a can of cola

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which you guys know will explode everywhere if you opened it -

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but this is magic, baby!

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If we do this...

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We're magically removing the fizz.

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..and then we take it to the other can,

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Hopefully, if that's worked...

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..the fizz will have transferred to the other can, and it won't explode.

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It's magic!

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Stand by, take cover!

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CAN OPENS

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ALL: Whoa!

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COLA TRICKLES

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Want to know what makes me livid?

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John Archer's terrible wigs.

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But it's not about me, you know.

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What's been making YOU livid?

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Well, do you want to know what makes ME livid about CBBC?

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They always have, like, green screens in the background,

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and it's obvious it's not even a real background.

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It's so annoying!

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Bom-ba-dum-dum...

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-HORSE WHINNIES

-Argh!

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Yonko! Yonko! Yank pips!

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Aaah!

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What makes me livid about CBBC

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is that there aren't enough people making jam.

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We have a wrap.

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That goes in there.

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We're then going to go over, we'll divide this into six.

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We're going to put it into our wrap like this.

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So, we got our rainbow wrap going on there...

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No, Jamie! Don't make wraps, make jam!

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Jam, jam, jam!

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Look, the word "jam" is in your name, J-A-M!

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I mean, what are you thinking, good sir?

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What are you thinking?! Oh, it makes me so livid!

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Oi, Jam Lady, who let you in?

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Ah, well. Tell us what makes you livid, guys.

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Go to the CBBC website and search "LIVID!" for all the info.

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OK, enough of this.

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It's time to revisit a CBBC classic,

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when Hacker visited the 4OCC.

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That's 4 O'Clock Club to you.

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I'm here at the most famous school

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in the United Kingdom of the world.

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Home of the 4 O'Clock Club, yes, it's Elmsbury High School -

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which is now Elmsbury Academy.

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Ooh, yes! Ooh!

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It's back, and as amazing as ever.

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I'm here to check out what's new, and I'm also, on the sly, trying

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to sign up some of their brilliant stars to join my very own

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celebrity agency.

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Wish me luck!

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Oh!

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Oh, right on the lens.

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I can't see a thing with these on.

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-# 4 O'Clock

-4 O'Clock. #

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Josh! Josh, where are you? Josh!

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Yo, Hacker, my dog!

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CRASH!

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-I'm over here.

-Oh...

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-Sorry, Josh.

-PING!

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These showbiz sunglasses take a bit of getting used to.

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Ahem, anyway, I would love to know if there was a method

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of you giving me an update of what's new

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in the second series of the 4 O'Clock Club,

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in a concise and musical way.

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Tell you what, how about I give you a little rap?

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Good thinking. Hit it!

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# So, as you all know, Hacks

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# The mighty 4 O'Clock Club is back

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# But Elmsbury's changed

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# The new head's a bit wrong

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# Name's Mr Bell

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# But I call him Ding-Dong

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# And Nathan's gone to Scotland to teach

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# And you'd think I'm the king with him out of reach

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# But this guy Dexter's taken his place

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# In my school, in my house

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# And in my face. #

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-# 4 O'Clock

-4 O'Clock. #

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-La, la, la, la, la...

-BELL CHIMES

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Oh, listen...

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'Could Hacker T Dog please report to Mr Bell the head teacher's office?

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'Thank you!'

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-BELL CHIMES

-Oh...

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Ah. Sit.

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I'm the new headmaster here at Elmsbury Academy.

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I'm here to improve standards.

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I want to cleanse this place of its worst students,

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and send the troublemakers off to Fowlmere Manor.

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And don't just think that you can come waltzing in here

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and try to sign up kids and staff to your agency,

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or you may be the first RUFFian that I send there.

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-Get it?

-Yeah.

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-It's a dog thing, innit?

-RUFFian.

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-Dog joke.

-Dogs, yeah.

-Right, I get it.

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Hah!

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I'm-I'm sorry, sir.

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-Beg.

-Oh... Ahem.

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Give us a tenner, would you? I'm skint!

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Now let me hear your dolphin impression.

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HE IMITATES A DOLPHIN

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BOTH IMITATE DOLPHINS

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I'm the best, get out.

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Eh, it's a good book, that. Good choice.

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It's the coolest show on CBBC - apart from Arthur, obviously.

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It's the 4 O'Clock Club!

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It's cool, it is...hip.

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There's, like, rapping and stuff -

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and boy, oh, boy, do they know how to cuss.

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Come on, guys -

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they are like the nicest insults I've ever heard in my life.

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Like anyone is ever going to be offended by that.

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'Ere, Myles!

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You're a large puddle.

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Yeah, you're a baby-faced pheasant.

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-Yep.

-You're a kumquat.

-I am.

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-You mango.

-Yes!

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-You lemon cake.

-Yeah.

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-You're a biscuit-ruiner.

-Oh, yeah, yeah.

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-You bin bag.

-Absolutely.

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-You tabard.

-Of course.

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-You snuggle-muffin.

-A snuggle... Whoa, whoa, whoa.

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So, in the 4 O'Clock Club there's always something, like,

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massive and dramatic going on in their day,

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and they always, like, break into song about it.

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They're just cool.

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# Now you know that I can't wait to go back

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# Had enough of chillin'

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# Now I'm ready and I'm willing and I'm so glad

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# I can't wait to go back. #

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Guys, you wanted cool?

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You've come to the right guy.

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Girl.

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# Walk into the shop and then I trip on my shoelace

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# Eatin' some soup but I dribble down my face

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# Throw a ball and it hits my gran... #

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Aaah!

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# Texting my mum but I send it to a friend

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# That doesn't rhyme

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# Word. #

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Ooh, what's this?

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Josh and the lads watching something funny on the internet.

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Ah, must be one of my vlogs, I bet.

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I mean, I'll give you that, lads - they are very, very funny.

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Come on, guys, share the joke! Which vlog is it?

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I bet it was one where I dressed up as Steve Backshall.

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With...the suit...

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Play Mr Belly Pop again.

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Mr Belly Pop?!

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LAUGHTER

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Five million hits...

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What is funny about a rotund man in a leotard, popping balloons

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with his big old belly, eh?

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I mean, five million hits?!

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Five million hits...

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Hello, is that Mr Belly Pop?

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Just wondering if you're free to appear in one of my vlogs.

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DISCONNECT TONE

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Hello?

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What I really like about Strange Hill High

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is that they're all puppets.

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Which I didn't notice the first time I watched it -

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I thought they were just kids running about, and then...

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Oh, no, what's going...?

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Oh, not this again. Oh, come on. Oh...

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-OK...

-BELL RINGS

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I just want a normal week at Strange Hill High.

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They go to class, get some homework, go home.

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What happened in this episode?

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Superpowers.

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OK, yeah.

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# He swings about on ropes and hooks

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# And he carries the bubonic plague... #

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Thank you, stranger!

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Normal Hill High - would that be a good show?

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"This week, they're eating lunch at lunchtime."

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Ooh! What does it mean?

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Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

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In this episode, the gang become superheroes to protect the school.

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We're going to fight for truth, protect the innocent

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and bring justice back to this school.

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I used to protect my own school, actually.

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I didn't have superpowers -

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I couldn't read people's minds or shoot lightning from my fingers...

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I just told people...not to run in the corridors,

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if they were running a bit quick.

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"Ooh, careful...careful, Johnny.

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"Slow down."

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Hallway monitor.

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Great power, great responsibility.

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I had a badge, so...

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Cos some superheroes get their powers

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by getting bitten by an animal, like a radioactive spider.

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I was thinking, what if you got bitten by a really normal animal,

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that you'd never associate with a superpower?

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You'd go to the zoo and a giraffe comes down and nibbles you.

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"Ahh...giraffe..."

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I don't know what superpower you'd get.

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Just a long neck.

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"Oh, the day's saved, it's Giraffe Man!"

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Well, no, the day isn't saved. He can literally do nothing.

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He's just got a long... He's just tall, essentially.

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Just on his neck.

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Why didn't you come in costume?

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No time to change.

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Someone needed to keep Green Scallion busy

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while my reinforcements suited up.

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There's no point having a secret identity if you're Giraffe Man.

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"Steve, your neck looks a lot longer today.

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"It's like a giraffe...

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"Are you Giraffe Man?"

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"Ohh... Yeah." "Not a very good superpower, is it?"

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"Yeah, I didn't get to choose which animal bit me, John."

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So, I'd say the superpowers in Strange Hill High

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are definitely better.

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The fabulous...

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Yee-ha!

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Up next is the quality part of the show.

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The really posh bit, where all the money is spent.

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It's time for...

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Is that your washing

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in the way of me CBBC viewing?

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Yeah, I had to wash all me smalls, I'm so sorry.

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Oh, Tracy Beaker.

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That's all CBBC show.

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I will not fall asleep.

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I will not fall asl... SNORES

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Just who designed this bedroom?!

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Pink? Pink?!

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I prefer a lovely mauve. Yes.

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Mauve... I love mauve.

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Deadly 60 on the telly.

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And I'm meant to the eat the telly, right, aren't I?

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Nom! Oh, I'll eat the telly...

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Oh, scrawny little... Mm, mmm!

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Plasma.

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Have you got a pet who loves a bit of Ludus?

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Or any other CBBC show, for that matter?

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Go to the website and search "pet".

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OK, if CBBC was a box of chocolates,

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then the next bit would be the strawberry cream.

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Oh, yes, telly fans - it's time to unwrap and devour the best bits!

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Ah!

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I know what you're thinking.

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"How did he get into that?"

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Well, plenty of practice and half a pound of butter.

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Why? Who else were you expecting?

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Aargh!

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What is going on?

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-Is this... Aah! Aah, Chris, he's got me...!

-Iggy!

-Iggy, please!

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-I'm so sorry.

-That's all right.

-She means it affectionately.

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Let's face it, she's been trying

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-to ban animals all afternoon.

-She's livid.

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Some of the biggest hits are no more complicated to sing

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than a nursery rhyme.

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They've got very few notes, and that's what makes them catchy.

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BELLS RING

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But all that was SO last week!

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Starting Monday, it's this...

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It's the actual pitch Olly played on

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when he played for Witham Town FC in 2007.

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Yo, Tony! At your head!

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LAUGHTER

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And that's your lot.

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Another week of CBBC squished, squashed and squeezed

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before your very eyes.

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If you want even more, then nil fret -

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the CBBC iPlayer is waiting to take you away.

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Otherwise, we'll see you next week.

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Ohh! I'd better get me a time table.

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