Episode 10 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS

Well, hello, there!

This is Whoops I Missed The Bus, the show that takes you by the hand

and whisks you across the dance floor of delight that is CBBC.

So, have you missed a trick and forgotten to watch this?

It's very exciting...

Whoa, it's moving!

-ALL:

-It's moving!

Are you up-to-date with all the Strange Hill High adventures?

It's mine! All mine!

And would you like to see more of the...

Oh!

Oh, right on the lens.

I can't see a thing with these on.

If the answer to any of those questions is yes, no,

or even maybe, then stick around,

because our resident vloggers Lauren and Myles are ready and waiting

to bring you up to speed on everything CBBC.

I've got loads to tell you, so stay tuned.

Nyyaommm!

Ooh, that bus is fast.

OK, and for my first trick,

I present to you a vlogger called...

This week saw the last episode of...

Hello, boys and girls.

John Archer is definitely my favourite magician on the show.

I can't wait to see what trick he is going to do.

I work here. I also help design new toys - you know,

new things that need to be made.

I love to do that, honestly, it's really exciting.

I see what he's doing.

What he's doing is pretending to be a toymaker -

so, you know, he's going to give them a little bit of build-up,

you know, make them really believe his disguise.

So, I'm working on XXL toys - you know,

like toys that are normal toys, but we just make them bigger.

All right, John Archer, enough of the build-up now,

let's get on with the trick, eh?

But I've been working on a special range,

like, what we call - it's my XXL range.

Yeah, all right, John Archer, got it,

you're a toymaker who makes toys extra big. Got it.

So, I've worked on things like, er, I worked on toy cars,

and I made toy cars a lot bigger, so you could sit in them, you know?

And I worked on, like, I made a giant doll's house,

you know, a really big doll's house - to be honest,

it was just like a real house.

Except it cost more. So that wasn't very popular, you know?

It never caught on.

Me mum always used to say,

she used to say, "Ian, mind your Ps and Qs."

Now, I've been working on a large-scale version...

He's starting the trick... KLAXON

He's starting the trick!

John Archer is starting the trick! Yes!

MUSIC: "Celebration" by Kool & The Gang

# Woo-hoo! #

Top hat, wand, magician.

Today I'm going to be demonstrating just how magic I am

by performing one of the tricks from this episode.

In this trick, James shakes up a can of cola

which you guys know will explode everywhere if you opened it -

but this is magic, baby!

If we do this...

We're magically removing the fizz.

..and then we take it to the other can,

Hopefully, if that's worked...

..the fizz will have transferred to the other can, and it won't explode.

It's magic!

Stand by, take cover!

CAN OPENS

ALL: Whoa!

COLA TRICKLES

Want to know what makes me livid?

John Archer's terrible wigs.

But it's not about me, you know.

What's been making YOU livid?

Well, do you want to know what makes ME livid about CBBC?

They always have, like, green screens in the background,

and it's obvious it's not even a real background.

It's so annoying!

Bom-ba-dum-dum...

-HORSE WHINNIES

-Argh!

Yonko! Yonko! Yank pips!

Aaah!

What makes me livid about CBBC

is that there aren't enough people making jam.

We have a wrap.

That goes in there.

We're then going to go over, we'll divide this into six.

We're going to put it into our wrap like this.

So, we got our rainbow wrap going on there...

No, Jamie! Don't make wraps, make jam!

Jam, jam, jam!

Look, the word "jam" is in your name, J-A-M!

I mean, what are you thinking, good sir?

What are you thinking?! Oh, it makes me so livid!

Oi, Jam Lady, who let you in?

Ah, well. Tell us what makes you livid, guys.

Go to the CBBC website and search "LIVID!" for all the info.

OK, enough of this.

It's time to revisit a CBBC classic,

when Hacker visited the 4OCC.

That's 4 O'Clock Club to you.

I'm here at the most famous school

in the United Kingdom of the world.

Home of the 4 O'Clock Club, yes, it's Elmsbury High School -

which is now Elmsbury Academy.

Ooh, yes! Ooh!

It's back, and as amazing as ever.

I'm here to check out what's new, and I'm also, on the sly, trying

to sign up some of their brilliant stars to join my very own

celebrity agency.

Wish me luck!

Oh!

Oh, right on the lens.

I can't see a thing with these on.

-# 4 O'Clock

-4 O'Clock. #

Josh! Josh, where are you? Josh!

Yo, Hacker, my dog!

CRASH!

-I'm over here.

-Oh...

-Sorry, Josh.

-PING!

These showbiz sunglasses take a bit of getting used to.

Ahem, anyway, I would love to know if there was a method

of you giving me an update of what's new

in the second series of the 4 O'Clock Club,

in a concise and musical way.

Tell you what, how about I give you a little rap?

Good thinking. Hit it!

# So, as you all know, Hacks

# The mighty 4 O'Clock Club is back

# But Elmsbury's changed

# The new head's a bit wrong

# Name's Mr Bell

# But I call him Ding-Dong

# And Nathan's gone to Scotland to teach

# And you'd think I'm the king with him out of reach

# But this guy Dexter's taken his place

# In my school, in my house

# And in my face. #

-# 4 O'Clock

-4 O'Clock. #

-La, la, la, la, la...

-BELL CHIMES

Oh, listen...

'Could Hacker T Dog please report to Mr Bell the head teacher's office?

'Thank you!'

-BELL CHIMES

-Oh...

Ah. Sit.

I'm the new headmaster here at Elmsbury Academy.

I'm here to improve standards.

I want to cleanse this place of its worst students,

and send the troublemakers off to Fowlmere Manor.

And don't just think that you can come waltzing in here

and try to sign up kids and staff to your agency,

or you may be the first RUFFian that I send there.

-Get it?

-Yeah.

-It's a dog thing, innit?

-RUFFian.

-Dog joke.

-Dogs, yeah.

-Right, I get it.

Hah!

I'm-I'm sorry, sir.

-Beg.

-Oh... Ahem.

Give us a tenner, would you? I'm skint!

Now let me hear your dolphin impression.

HE IMITATES A DOLPHIN

BOTH IMITATE DOLPHINS

I'm the best, get out.

Eh, it's a good book, that. Good choice.

It's the coolest show on CBBC - apart from Arthur, obviously.

It's the 4 O'Clock Club!

It's cool, it is...hip.

There's, like, rapping and stuff -

and boy, oh, boy, do they know how to cuss.

Come on, guys -

they are like the nicest insults I've ever heard in my life.

Like anyone is ever going to be offended by that.

'Ere, Myles!

You're a large puddle.

Yeah, you're a baby-faced pheasant.

-Yep.

-You're a kumquat.

-I am.

-You mango.

-Yes!

-You lemon cake.

-Yeah.

-You're a biscuit-ruiner.

-Oh, yeah, yeah.

-You bin bag.

-Absolutely.

-You tabard.

-Of course.

-You snuggle-muffin.

-A snuggle... Whoa, whoa, whoa.

So, in the 4 O'Clock Club there's always something, like,

massive and dramatic going on in their day,

and they always, like, break into song about it.

They're just cool.

# Now you know that I can't wait to go back

# Had enough of chillin'

# Now I'm ready and I'm willing and I'm so glad

# I can't wait to go back. #

Guys, you wanted cool?

You've come to the right guy.

Girl.

# Walk into the shop and then I trip on my shoelace

# Eatin' some soup but I dribble down my face

# Throw a ball and it hits my gran... #

Aaah!

# Texting my mum but I send it to a friend

# That doesn't rhyme

# Word. #

Ooh, what's this?

Josh and the lads watching something funny on the internet.

Ah, must be one of my vlogs, I bet.

I mean, I'll give you that, lads - they are very, very funny.

Come on, guys, share the joke! Which vlog is it?

I bet it was one where I dressed up as Steve Backshall.

With...the suit...

Play Mr Belly Pop again.

Mr Belly Pop?!

LAUGHTER

Five million hits...

What is funny about a rotund man in a leotard, popping balloons

with his big old belly, eh?

I mean, five million hits?!

Five million hits...

Hello, is that Mr Belly Pop?

Just wondering if you're free to appear in one of my vlogs.

DISCONNECT TONE

Hello?

What I really like about Strange Hill High

is that they're all puppets.

Which I didn't notice the first time I watched it -

I thought they were just kids running about, and then...

Oh, no, what's going...?

Oh, not this again. Oh, come on. Oh...

-OK...

-BELL RINGS

I just want a normal week at Strange Hill High.

They go to class, get some homework, go home.

What happened in this episode?

Superpowers.

OK, yeah.

# He swings about on ropes and hooks

# And he carries the bubonic plague... #

Thank you, stranger!

Normal Hill High - would that be a good show?

"This week, they're eating lunch at lunchtime."

Ooh! What does it mean?

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

In this episode, the gang become superheroes to protect the school.

We're going to fight for truth, protect the innocent

and bring justice back to this school.

I used to protect my own school, actually.

I didn't have superpowers -

I couldn't read people's minds or shoot lightning from my fingers...

I just told people...not to run in the corridors,

if they were running a bit quick.

"Ooh, careful...careful, Johnny.

"Slow down."

Hallway monitor.

Great power, great responsibility.

I had a badge, so...

Cos some superheroes get their powers

by getting bitten by an animal, like a radioactive spider.

I was thinking, what if you got bitten by a really normal animal,

that you'd never associate with a superpower?

You'd go to the zoo and a giraffe comes down and nibbles you.

"Ahh...giraffe..."

I don't know what superpower you'd get.

Just a long neck.

"Oh, the day's saved, it's Giraffe Man!"

Well, no, the day isn't saved. He can literally do nothing.

He's just got a long... He's just tall, essentially.

Just on his neck.

Why didn't you come in costume?

No time to change.

Someone needed to keep Green Scallion busy

while my reinforcements suited up.

There's no point having a secret identity if you're Giraffe Man.

"Steve, your neck looks a lot longer today.

"It's like a giraffe...

"Are you Giraffe Man?"

"Ohh... Yeah." "Not a very good superpower, is it?"

"Yeah, I didn't get to choose which animal bit me, John."

So, I'd say the superpowers in Strange Hill High

are definitely better.

The fabulous...

Yee-ha!

Up next is the quality part of the show.

The really posh bit, where all the money is spent.

It's time for...

Is that your washing

in the way of me CBBC viewing?

Yeah, I had to wash all me smalls, I'm so sorry.

Oh, Tracy Beaker.

That's all CBBC show.

I will not fall asleep.

I will not fall asl... SNORES

Just who designed this bedroom?!

Pink? Pink?!

I prefer a lovely mauve. Yes.

Mauve... I love mauve.

Deadly 60 on the telly.

And I'm meant to the eat the telly, right, aren't I?

Nom! Oh, I'll eat the telly...

Oh, scrawny little... Mm, mmm!

Plasma.

Have you got a pet who loves a bit of Ludus?

Or any other CBBC show, for that matter?

Go to the website and search "pet".

OK, if CBBC was a box of chocolates,

then the next bit would be the strawberry cream.

Oh, yes, telly fans - it's time to unwrap and devour the best bits!

Ah!

I know what you're thinking.

"How did he get into that?"

Well, plenty of practice and half a pound of butter.

Why? Who else were you expecting?

Aargh!

What is going on?

-Is this... Aah! Aah, Chris, he's got me...!

-Iggy!

-Iggy, please!

-I'm so sorry.

-That's all right.

-She means it affectionately.

Let's face it, she's been trying

-to ban animals all afternoon.

-She's livid.

Some of the biggest hits are no more complicated to sing

than a nursery rhyme.

They've got very few notes, and that's what makes them catchy.

BELLS RING

But all that was SO last week!

Starting Monday, it's this...

It's the actual pitch Olly played on

when he played for Witham Town FC in 2007.

Yo, Tony! At your head!

LAUGHTER

And that's your lot.

Another week of CBBC squished, squashed and squeezed

before your very eyes.

If you want even more, then nil fret -

the CBBC iPlayer is waiting to take you away.

Otherwise, we'll see you next week.

Ohh! I'd better get me a time table.