Episode 9 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS

I'm Ben Shires, and this is Whoops I Missed The Bus.

Prepare to be Officially Amazed - see what I did there?!

So, what do you think of The Big Performance, eh?

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Are you ready to Blow Your Mind?

HOWLING

And what's been making you livid?

I can't believe it! I am livid!

Our video bloggers Myles and Lauren have been speed-watching

CBBC for the last week, to bring you all the latest gossip.

Stick around, cos we've got loads to tell you.

Ladies and gentlemen, all aboard...

OK, sit down and strap in.

It's time for a big performance from our first blogger Myles.

The Big Performance sees a group of six young songwriters

go on a journey to create their own song about Word War I,

which, as the title suggests, is going to be a big performance!

Each of them must try to compose a song to commemorate Word War I,

a subject they know very little about.

The Big Performance songwriters weren't even born during World War I,

obviously - happened 100 years ago.

But it's still important to understand the past,

cos that's what got us here.

Not in my bedroom, I mean here, in the world.

And to appreciate the past through music is good,

and it's good to remember what people have done in the world.

At the moment,

World War I is a historical event that you might read about in a book.

I've got to bring that to life for them,

so that they can write a song that sums up the feelings

of a nation about one of our most important historical events.

There are six songwriters... Held up ten fingers!

There are six songwriters - there we go -

working towards the final performance,

and they're all quite different.

14-year-old Molly from Cardiff has only been song writing for a year.

Ben is a rocker from Sussex.

Jasmine from Dagenham is a 12-year-old.

Molly from Huddersfield has performed in front of 2,000 people.

12-year-old Sid is an ambitious songwriter.

Last but not least is Exeter lad Sam.

I wonder what they'd say about me if I was on it.

'This is Myles. He plays this instrument.'

What is it? 'Have not got a clue what that is.'

FLAT TOOT

'Oh, no, you are awful. Myles is not very good.'

All right. Like to see you have a go.

'I can't, I'm literally just a voiceover.'

A bit more practice and I could be a toot-tooting champion.

Could be the next Vamps member.

But not really...at all, whatsoever.

The team actually had to perform in front of The Vamps, which is

quite a nerve-racking experience.

Here they are - it's The Vamps.

I remember one of the biggest performances

I had to do was a Christmas nativity show.

Not quite The Vamps, but...

I didn't have to sing, I didn't have to dance

because I was playing a shepherd.

All I had to do was walk up to the stage,

carrying a sheep under my arm - not a real one.

And that's it - simple.

So I prepared myself for my performance

and I walked up to the stage, and I did it. Then I fell off.

Tripped over my coat, fell off the stage, sheep went flying -

not a real one... SHEEP BAAS

I just stood up, audience staring at me.

I fell off the stage - wasn't meant to happen,

that wasn't in the script, "Shepherd falls off stage."

So I'm just going to get back up there, pretend it didn't happen.

Can I just have my sheep back? I don't know where he is.

Anyway, thankfully, no-one drops a sheep on The Big Performance -

there isn't really any sheep in that programme.

No-one fell off the stage and The Vamps liked it, so it's all good.

-What did you think?

-That was great.

I'm going to go and practise this,

see if I can become a beautiful musician.

TOOTING No. Not yet. Nearly.

No.

Do you know what makes me livid about CBBC?

Oh, apparently I'm contractually obliged not to say!

But what's been making you reet livid?

What makes me livid is that Hacker is always banging on about meat paste.

-Meat paste.

-Oh...

Come on!

Hi, I'm Dodge from CBBC,

and the reason I'm livid is that at the end of every day,

I put out a little bowl of dog treats in this very bowl,

and then I walk in the next morning to find they are gone!

Someone has eaten them! And do you know who that is?

It's Katy! Of all people, Katy eats my dog treats.

I can't believe it - I am livid! Mm!

Thank goodness no-one mentioned Officially Amazing,

that would have been excruciatingly awkward.

Anyway, next we're off to hang out with some right clever dogs.

BRAZILIAN MUSIC

Oh, Dodge, I can't chase him any more.

Yeah, should we just stay here?

Yeah.

House band, puh-lease!

Rio 2014, it's the football World Cup!

-Ha-ha!

-Ready?

# Rio, 2014

# Rio, 2014

# Scoring goals at the World Cup

# Kick it in the goal

# Doing throw-ins and that

# Throw it on the pitch

# Do a header

# Mind the corner flag

# And the o-o-o-offside

-BOTH:

-# Rio, 2014 World Cup. #

-Are England going to win?

-They're out.

-BOTH:

-Come with us

and discover unbelievable things... that will Blow Your Mind!

Blow Your Mind, it's a brand-new CBBC show,

showing us loads of cool science stuff.

This week was all about amazing animals,

and amazing Chris Packhams too - look at him.

One of the first animals that Chris goes to visit is a cockatoo

that can pick locks!

-CHRIS:

-Muppet has done this before,

and he delivers...a masterclass.

Right! That is a bit freaky, that.

How have they learnt to do that? What are they doing?

He quickly removes the pin.

And then the screw.

Wow, so Muppet the cockatoo is a master safecracker.

If you're at home, you'd better lock your windows and doors.

DOOR CREAKS

BIRD CROWS

In another one of the episodes,

Chris went to see how chimpanzees can actually lie to each other.

A zookeeper shows a chimpanzee called Missy where a banana is hidden,

but she doesn't show it to the other chimpanzee Rita.

Missy then lies to Rita about knowing where the banana is,

so that she gets the banana and Rita doesn't!

But if they're lying about that, what else are they lying about?

Look, I'm going to ask you one more time, did you just do a trump?

No!

BELL RINGS

I do love Chris Packham though,

he is one of my favourite people on television.

I actually went out recently and bought him

a little something for his birthday.

It was nothing really, it was just a little bottle of aftershave for him.

They've got expensive taste, these animals,

so I'm just going to sneak down here...

Hang on! What's he got in his hand there?

..put some of this on the grass...

Is that my aftershave?

..see what happens.

I didn't buy it for the grass, Chris, I bought it for you - lovely gift.

Oh, spraying it everywhere now, are you?

Go on, just spray away.

Oh, there goes a tenner.

More than a tenner, Chris, I saved up for that for you!

Little present and he does that.

New Eau De Wolf. HOWL you wear it?

Hello and welcome to The Johnny And Inel Show.

Johnny and Inel have a sketch show...

No, not like drawing sketches, it's funny sketches.

That's literally just the word "funny" drawn onto a piece of paper.

That's just a cat. You've drawn a cat. You're confused.

OK, so The Johnny And Inel Show is a comedy sketch show.

No drawings, just laughs. Just a lot of good laughs.

The Johnny And Inel Show - must have been hard thinking up that name.

It's kind of a show where everything happens.

You want talking hair? You can have talking hair.

Yo, Beanie.

I wonder how they think of their ideas. "Johnny, you've got hair.

"Make it talk."

Beanie, wake up!

In-between all the funny sketches,

Johnny and Inel have famous people that pop up.

In the first episode, The Saturdays popped in for a chat.

Didn't have much going on that day.

"Should we pop in for a chat with Johnny and Inel...on the moon?"

"On the moon? Why not?"

-Is that The Saturdays?

-Hello.

-Hi!

In one episode, the whole Johnny and Inel team

go on a team-bonding exercise to crazy golf.

Crazy golf as part of our team-bonding session.

That's really imaginative.

I went to crazy golf once, and it was my turn to hit the ball.

I just hit it - and I'm not making this up -

the ball hit off some fences,

skimmed over the water and dropped straight into the hole.

It was like the ball had a mind of its own.

That's not really relevant to The Johnny And Inel Show,

but I just wanted to share with someone

the one time I was accidently good at golf.

Here's another crazy golf story.

I once swung the golf club with such passion that I forgot to grip.

Just flew straight out of my hands.

I saw it soaring off into the distance

like a beautiful golf-club-shaped bird.

Goodbye, my friend. Over the horizon, into the sunset.

It was just stuck up a tree - couldn't get it back.

Anyway, The Johnny And Inel Show, it'll make you laugh

if you like it, it'll make you cry if you don't.

The Johnny And Inel... The Johnny And Inel Sh...

The Johnny And Inel Sh... What is happening?

The Johnny And In-en... The Johnny And...

The Johnny And Inel...

Johnny And Inel. There we go.

Bloopers!

Right, from one LOL to another,

it's time to reveal what your pets are actually thinking.

And by the way, this isn't official in any way.

I don't really want to watch this.

I want to be outside chasing sticks.

Are they filming?

Am I watching?

Oh, I love it, yeah!

Just sitting here, mate, watching CBBC.

Lovely. Don't get much better than this - food, CBBC,

me little bed. Lovely, yeah!

Look! Look! I'm on Friday Download!

Let's watch it again.

There I am! I'm on the telly - I'm famous!

Oh, once more.

I love this show "furry" much.

Do you get it? Furry - sounds a bit like very!

It's all right this Officially Amazing.

I like this Ben Shires fella,

he's a good guy, I've heard.

Hey, put your hand down, mate, I'm watching telly here!

Why, thank you, Squeaky!

You're not so bad yourself.

If you want to know what your pet thinks of CBBC,

go to the website and search "pet".

OK, it's time for the creme de la creme of the past week on CBBC,

the top-notch talent, the best of the best.

# Baby, every time you love me

# In and out my life

# In, out, baby

# Tell me if you really love me

# In and out my life

# In, out, baby... #

What we'll do, boys and girls, is count him down from ten.

Going to see if he can do it in ten seconds.

Count with me down from ten. Here we go...

-ALL:

-Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,

five, four, three...

'Here he comes. Has he done it?'

..two, one.

And there he is, completely inside the hoops.

Oh, Hacker.

This says, "Dear Hacker, you are now the new big, big cheese."

Then that means...?

That means you are in charge of the CBBC channel

and all who dwell within it.

Finally! About time!

Don't worry, Chris, it's not going to change me one drop.

Thank goodness for that.

If there one last thing that I want, it's for it to change you.

Wa-woo!?

Now kiss my feet!

What?

Kiss 'em.

Kiss me feet!

Rowanna places a one-way mirror inside the observation window

to test the dolphins.

Dolphins don't behave like this if they simply meet another dolphin.

This suggests that they understand

that what they're seeing isn't another animal,

but a reflection of themselves.

-That's me done.

-Very good.

I think Iggy's OK.

Iggy's rather good, I think.

I think you've got the eyebrows that I haven't got.

I want you to be a chair so I can sit on you!

-What?

-I shall sit on you...

We've already done this, why do it again?

What possible reason would you come back to sit on my lap...?

WATER RUNS

Finish him!

Looks like there'll be no elevator action for you,

not even any elevator action too, which isn't as good.

Oh-oh!

Game over! Game over, man.

Cheer up, it's only a joke!

Only a joke? This is my life!

Cupcake!

That's what I'm talking about.

# Dee-do-de-de, dee-do-de-de

# I don't have no time for no monkey business

# Dee-do-de-de, dee-do-de-de

# I get so lonely, lonely, lonely lonely, yeah

# Got to be some good times ahead... #

And stop the clock!

That's it for this week's Whoops I Missed The Bus.

If you want more TV treats, head to CBBC IPlayer.

Adieu, my friends.

Now, where's this bus?

Oh, well, that's just marvellous, isn't it?!