Episode 9 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS


Episode 9

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Transcript


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I'm Ben Shires, and this is Whoops I Missed The Bus.

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Prepare to be Officially Amazed - see what I did there?!

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So, what do you think of The Big Performance, eh?

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If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

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Are you ready to Blow Your Mind?

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HOWLING

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And what's been making you livid?

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I can't believe it! I am livid!

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Our video bloggers Myles and Lauren have been speed-watching

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CBBC for the last week, to bring you all the latest gossip.

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Stick around, cos we've got loads to tell you.

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Ladies and gentlemen, all aboard...

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OK, sit down and strap in.

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It's time for a big performance from our first blogger Myles.

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The Big Performance sees a group of six young songwriters

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go on a journey to create their own song about Word War I,

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which, as the title suggests, is going to be a big performance!

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Each of them must try to compose a song to commemorate Word War I,

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a subject they know very little about.

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The Big Performance songwriters weren't even born during World War I,

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obviously - happened 100 years ago.

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But it's still important to understand the past,

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cos that's what got us here.

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Not in my bedroom, I mean here, in the world.

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And to appreciate the past through music is good,

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and it's good to remember what people have done in the world.

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At the moment,

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World War I is a historical event that you might read about in a book.

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I've got to bring that to life for them,

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so that they can write a song that sums up the feelings

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of a nation about one of our most important historical events.

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There are six songwriters... Held up ten fingers!

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There are six songwriters - there we go -

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working towards the final performance,

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and they're all quite different.

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14-year-old Molly from Cardiff has only been song writing for a year.

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Ben is a rocker from Sussex.

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Jasmine from Dagenham is a 12-year-old.

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Molly from Huddersfield has performed in front of 2,000 people.

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12-year-old Sid is an ambitious songwriter.

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Last but not least is Exeter lad Sam.

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I wonder what they'd say about me if I was on it.

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'This is Myles. He plays this instrument.'

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What is it? 'Have not got a clue what that is.'

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FLAT TOOT

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'Oh, no, you are awful. Myles is not very good.'

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All right. Like to see you have a go.

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'I can't, I'm literally just a voiceover.'

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A bit more practice and I could be a toot-tooting champion.

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Could be the next Vamps member.

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But not really...at all, whatsoever.

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The team actually had to perform in front of The Vamps, which is

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quite a nerve-racking experience.

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Here they are - it's The Vamps.

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I remember one of the biggest performances

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I had to do was a Christmas nativity show.

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Not quite The Vamps, but...

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I didn't have to sing, I didn't have to dance

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because I was playing a shepherd.

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All I had to do was walk up to the stage,

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carrying a sheep under my arm - not a real one.

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And that's it - simple.

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So I prepared myself for my performance

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and I walked up to the stage, and I did it. Then I fell off.

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Tripped over my coat, fell off the stage, sheep went flying -

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not a real one... SHEEP BAAS

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I just stood up, audience staring at me.

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I fell off the stage - wasn't meant to happen,

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that wasn't in the script, "Shepherd falls off stage."

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So I'm just going to get back up there, pretend it didn't happen.

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Can I just have my sheep back? I don't know where he is.

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Anyway, thankfully, no-one drops a sheep on The Big Performance -

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there isn't really any sheep in that programme.

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No-one fell off the stage and The Vamps liked it, so it's all good.

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-What did you think?

-That was great.

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I'm going to go and practise this,

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see if I can become a beautiful musician.

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TOOTING No. Not yet. Nearly.

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No.

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Do you know what makes me livid about CBBC?

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Oh, apparently I'm contractually obliged not to say!

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But what's been making you reet livid?

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What makes me livid is that Hacker is always banging on about meat paste.

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-Meat paste.

-Oh...

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Come on!

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Hi, I'm Dodge from CBBC,

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and the reason I'm livid is that at the end of every day,

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I put out a little bowl of dog treats in this very bowl,

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and then I walk in the next morning to find they are gone!

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Someone has eaten them! And do you know who that is?

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It's Katy! Of all people, Katy eats my dog treats.

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I can't believe it - I am livid! Mm!

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Thank goodness no-one mentioned Officially Amazing,

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that would have been excruciatingly awkward.

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Anyway, next we're off to hang out with some right clever dogs.

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BRAZILIAN MUSIC

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Oh, Dodge, I can't chase him any more.

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Yeah, should we just stay here?

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Yeah.

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House band, puh-lease!

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Rio 2014, it's the football World Cup!

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-Ha-ha!

-Ready?

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# Rio, 2014

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# Rio, 2014

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# Scoring goals at the World Cup

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# Kick it in the goal

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# Doing throw-ins and that

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# Throw it on the pitch

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# Do a header

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# Mind the corner flag

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# And the o-o-o-offside

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-BOTH:

-# Rio, 2014 World Cup. #

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-Are England going to win?

-They're out.

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-BOTH:

-Come with us

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and discover unbelievable things... that will Blow Your Mind!

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Blow Your Mind, it's a brand-new CBBC show,

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showing us loads of cool science stuff.

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This week was all about amazing animals,

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and amazing Chris Packhams too - look at him.

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One of the first animals that Chris goes to visit is a cockatoo

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that can pick locks!

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-CHRIS:

-Muppet has done this before,

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and he delivers...a masterclass.

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Right! That is a bit freaky, that.

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How have they learnt to do that? What are they doing?

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He quickly removes the pin.

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And then the screw.

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Wow, so Muppet the cockatoo is a master safecracker.

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If you're at home, you'd better lock your windows and doors.

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DOOR CREAKS

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BIRD CROWS

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In another one of the episodes,

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Chris went to see how chimpanzees can actually lie to each other.

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A zookeeper shows a chimpanzee called Missy where a banana is hidden,

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but she doesn't show it to the other chimpanzee Rita.

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Missy then lies to Rita about knowing where the banana is,

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so that she gets the banana and Rita doesn't!

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But if they're lying about that, what else are they lying about?

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Look, I'm going to ask you one more time, did you just do a trump?

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No!

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BELL RINGS

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I do love Chris Packham though,

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he is one of my favourite people on television.

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I actually went out recently and bought him

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a little something for his birthday.

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It was nothing really, it was just a little bottle of aftershave for him.

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They've got expensive taste, these animals,

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so I'm just going to sneak down here...

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Hang on! What's he got in his hand there?

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..put some of this on the grass...

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Is that my aftershave?

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..see what happens.

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I didn't buy it for the grass, Chris, I bought it for you - lovely gift.

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Oh, spraying it everywhere now, are you?

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Go on, just spray away.

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Oh, there goes a tenner.

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More than a tenner, Chris, I saved up for that for you!

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Little present and he does that.

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New Eau De Wolf. HOWL you wear it?

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Hello and welcome to The Johnny And Inel Show.

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Johnny and Inel have a sketch show...

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No, not like drawing sketches, it's funny sketches.

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That's literally just the word "funny" drawn onto a piece of paper.

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That's just a cat. You've drawn a cat. You're confused.

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OK, so The Johnny And Inel Show is a comedy sketch show.

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No drawings, just laughs. Just a lot of good laughs.

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The Johnny And Inel Show - must have been hard thinking up that name.

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It's kind of a show where everything happens.

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You want talking hair? You can have talking hair.

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Yo, Beanie.

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I wonder how they think of their ideas. "Johnny, you've got hair.

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"Make it talk."

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Beanie, wake up!

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In-between all the funny sketches,

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Johnny and Inel have famous people that pop up.

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In the first episode, The Saturdays popped in for a chat.

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Didn't have much going on that day.

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"Should we pop in for a chat with Johnny and Inel...on the moon?"

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"On the moon? Why not?"

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-Is that The Saturdays?

-Hello.

-Hi!

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In one episode, the whole Johnny and Inel team

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go on a team-bonding exercise to crazy golf.

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Crazy golf as part of our team-bonding session.

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That's really imaginative.

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I went to crazy golf once, and it was my turn to hit the ball.

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I just hit it - and I'm not making this up -

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the ball hit off some fences,

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skimmed over the water and dropped straight into the hole.

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It was like the ball had a mind of its own.

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That's not really relevant to The Johnny And Inel Show,

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but I just wanted to share with someone

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the one time I was accidently good at golf.

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Here's another crazy golf story.

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I once swung the golf club with such passion that I forgot to grip.

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Just flew straight out of my hands.

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I saw it soaring off into the distance

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like a beautiful golf-club-shaped bird.

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Goodbye, my friend. Over the horizon, into the sunset.

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It was just stuck up a tree - couldn't get it back.

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Anyway, The Johnny And Inel Show, it'll make you laugh

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if you like it, it'll make you cry if you don't.

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The Johnny And Inel... The Johnny And Inel Sh...

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The Johnny And Inel Sh... What is happening?

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The Johnny And In-en... The Johnny And...

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The Johnny And Inel...

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Johnny And Inel. There we go.

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Bloopers!

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Right, from one LOL to another,

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it's time to reveal what your pets are actually thinking.

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And by the way, this isn't official in any way.

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I don't really want to watch this.

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I want to be outside chasing sticks.

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Are they filming?

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Am I watching?

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Oh, I love it, yeah!

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Just sitting here, mate, watching CBBC.

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Lovely. Don't get much better than this - food, CBBC,

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me little bed. Lovely, yeah!

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Look! Look! I'm on Friday Download!

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Let's watch it again.

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There I am! I'm on the telly - I'm famous!

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Oh, once more.

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I love this show "furry" much.

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Do you get it? Furry - sounds a bit like very!

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It's all right this Officially Amazing.

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I like this Ben Shires fella,

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he's a good guy, I've heard.

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Hey, put your hand down, mate, I'm watching telly here!

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Why, thank you, Squeaky!

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You're not so bad yourself.

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If you want to know what your pet thinks of CBBC,

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go to the website and search "pet".

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OK, it's time for the creme de la creme of the past week on CBBC,

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the top-notch talent, the best of the best.

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# Baby, every time you love me

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# In and out my life

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# In, out, baby

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# Tell me if you really love me

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# In and out my life

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# In, out, baby... #

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What we'll do, boys and girls, is count him down from ten.

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Going to see if he can do it in ten seconds.

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Count with me down from ten. Here we go...

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-ALL:

-Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,

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five, four, three...

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'Here he comes. Has he done it?'

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..two, one.

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And there he is, completely inside the hoops.

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Oh, Hacker.

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This says, "Dear Hacker, you are now the new big, big cheese."

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Then that means...?

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That means you are in charge of the CBBC channel

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and all who dwell within it.

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Finally! About time!

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Don't worry, Chris, it's not going to change me one drop.

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Thank goodness for that.

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If there one last thing that I want, it's for it to change you.

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Wa-woo!?

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Now kiss my feet!

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What?

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Kiss 'em.

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Kiss me feet!

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Rowanna places a one-way mirror inside the observation window

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to test the dolphins.

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Dolphins don't behave like this if they simply meet another dolphin.

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This suggests that they understand

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that what they're seeing isn't another animal,

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but a reflection of themselves.

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-That's me done.

-Very good.

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I think Iggy's OK.

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Iggy's rather good, I think.

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I think you've got the eyebrows that I haven't got.

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I want you to be a chair so I can sit on you!

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-What?

-I shall sit on you...

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We've already done this, why do it again?

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What possible reason would you come back to sit on my lap...?

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WATER RUNS

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Finish him!

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Looks like there'll be no elevator action for you,

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not even any elevator action too, which isn't as good.

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Oh-oh!

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Game over! Game over, man.

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Cheer up, it's only a joke!

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Only a joke? This is my life!

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Cupcake!

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That's what I'm talking about.

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# Dee-do-de-de, dee-do-de-de

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# I don't have no time for no monkey business

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# Dee-do-de-de, dee-do-de-de

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# I get so lonely, lonely, lonely lonely, yeah

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# Got to be some good times ahead... #

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And stop the clock!

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That's it for this week's Whoops I Missed The Bus.

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If you want more TV treats, head to CBBC IPlayer.

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Adieu, my friends.

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Now, where's this bus?

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Oh, well, that's just marvellous, isn't it?!

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