Episode 8 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS

Welcome to Whoops, I Missed The Bus -

a whole week of CBBC mashed up until light and fluffy

and served with sausages and gravy.

So have you broken any records recently?

Kids, don't try this at home.

Are you ready for the finale of Rocket's Island?

Bethany Summer.

And what is Dodge up to?

-Your name?

-Dodge.

Dodge what? I'm faster than you think, hairy boy.

Prepare to witness the impossible,

as video bloggers Lauren and Myles

squeeze another week of CBBC into 15 minutes of non-stop fun.

We're going to be cramming it in, so keep 'em peeled.

Get on the bus!

Right, first up it's one of our wonderful vloggers - Lauren.

Now you guys know us here at CBBC

are one of the finest broadcasters in the world.

A champion of television.

Responsible for some of the most ground-breaking programmes,

such as Wolfblood.

The Dumping Ground.

Whoops, I Missed The Bus.

And most importantly, CBBC is a place where only the finest most

respectable programming is shown to you, the public.

WHOOPEE CUSHIONS SOUND EFFECT

He's flying by the seat of his tiny pants here.

HE SHOUTS

Brilliant.

Of course, this is the brilliantly weird Officially Amazing.

Kids, even if by some miracle of nature you do have a beard, don't

try this at home.

SHE GROANS

Oh, DON'T try this at home?

Oh, what? It took me ages to grow this.

Today I'm here in Kaiserslautern in Germany...

Not Brazil, then, eh, then?

..to witness a brand-new record attempt.

Brand-new football record attempt, I think you mean, Ben.

It's a sport that's so downright extreme

that you'd need nerves of steel and underpants of pure titanium

in order to even think about attempting it.

Getting a bit weird now, Ben.

But, you know what, I'm sure it's football

that you're talking about,

because it is the World Cup this week, isn't it, Ben?

I give you...

SHE MOUTHS

..extreme freestyle unicycling!

Really?!

Extreme freestyle unicycling!

You-you're kidding, right?

-Extreme...

-Freestyle unicycling. Got it.

I mean, not football. World Cup's on.

-Extreme.

-Freestyle unicycling. I know!

Well, thanks a lot, Ben Shires,

you've made me look like a right idiot.

-Extreme...

-All right. Ah.

I'll tell you what's officially amazing -

the number of you lot who are livid about CBBC.

Let's see what's been ruffling your feathers this week.

What makes me livid, Strange Hill High,

they're just like little puppets.

Why can't they just be real humans. So livid. Just livid.

Daddy. Why'd you do that, Daddy?

Why? Why?

HE SCREAMS

Hello, welcome to this newsflash.

Today I'm talking about what makes me livid about CBBC. Here it goes.

Charlie Longarms!

Charlie Longarms and his fiendishly long legs.

Look at me.

Why, Chris? Why?

Hacker and Dodge make me livid by always talking about

dustbins or meat paste.

I am livid. There's all this tennis around here.

Too much tennis and not enough meat paste.

Where's Sue Barker?

You lot are feisty.

Now it's time for a Strange Hill High special with a tiny

little tiny dog who's obsessed with the bins.

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

We have lots in store for you this year - maths, science,

a weird teacher, medieval superheroes and maybe,

if there's still time, a little bit of certain doom.

Certain doom is my favourite.

It's much better than uncertain doom,

which can hardly be called doom at all.

I can't believe I'm actually in a Strange Hill High classroom.

This is so cool.

That's how I roll, Dodge, so stick with me. I'm ice cool.

HE SCREAMS

CRASH!

HE CHUCKLES Cool trick, eh?

I call that my "falling out of chair accidentally on purpose" trick,

thingy.

-I nailed it.

-Wow.

What do you think you're doing?

-Right now, I'm standing here talking to you.

-Tight.

I see. You're one of his little friends. I'm not going to like you.

-Your name.

-Dodge.

Dodge what?

I'm faster than you think, hairy boy.

-I'm Dodge. I'm a dog.

-Of course you are.

I'm a dog too. We're all dogs. Look at me being a dog.

I'm Mitchell and I can play woof-woof. Isn't it fun?

All right, guys. I love checking out Strange Hill High.

-What are you lot up to?

-Let me handle this, I'm fluent in Wookiee.

HE SPEAKS LIKE A WOOKIEE

OK.

Hey, Dodge. I've got some CBBC Extra gossip for you.

You will not believe what's going to happen

at Strange Hill High this year.

It's huge!

Woo-hoo! Exclusive gossip is what I live for.

This year at Strange Hill High, we get to find out that...

I can't believe I'm going to tell you this,

it's the best news I've ever heard.

This year, we find out that there's actually going to be...

And cut!

-Ah, that was a really good scene, Dodge.

-Oh, thanks.

I was worried about learning the script.

-AMERICAN ACCENT:

-Tim, I'll be in my trailer. Great to meet you, Dodge.

I've got to go too, Dodge. I have to learn my script, and it's massive.

Say hi to Yonko for me.

Yeah, course I will. Wow, what can I say?

Strange Hill High is most definitely back.

It's got a great cast, it's got awesome adventures

and it is still the strangest show on CBBC.

You lot, yeah, you lot, right there, you do not want to miss it.

Rocket's Island.

First of all, it's pretty impressive he's got his own island.

I'd love an island. Myles's Island.

I imagine I'd accidentally lose the island within a couple of days.

I swear I left it here. Where's my island.

So the CBBC drama is coming to a close. That was meant to be curtains.

The show is ending, oh, it was great.

Throw some flowers, but you can't throw flowers because it's a TV show,

your flowers will be hitting the screen.

In the last few episodes of Rocket's Island,

Rocket's worried that his friend Brandon has been cursed by goblins.

It's always the way.

If you don't bow, you'll be cursed.

For ever.

A goblin curse. There's nothing worse.

So in the final episode,

we'll get to see the conclusion to Rocket's Island.

My prediction is that this sheep has a big role to play.

He's got a story there. He's got something he's not telling us.

It's behind the eyes. Mystery.

In one of the other episodes, Alli makes a wish to get a best friend.

I wish...

..for a friend...

..my own age.

I'm not sure what I'd wish for if I had the chance.

I've always wanted a sloth, a pet sloth.

Either that or world peace.

In another episode, Dibber had to make a big decision.

What's the big decision, Myles?

He had to ask a girl out.

Hey.

Is he OK?

DIBBER STUTTERS

So to overcome that, he gets lessons on how to speak to girls.

Stage one, courage under fire. Girls like a boy to be a bit of a hero.

What we need is for Bethany Summer to find herself in danger

and you to swoop in and save her.

It's going to happen this very lunchtime.

What's he going to do with a rollerblade, hit her with it?

Don't do that.

Bethany Summer.

Don't be putting girls in danger to get their attention.

Just have a chat. Step one, say, "Hello."

Step two, I never really get to step two,

so repeat step one, it worked the first time.

Say hello again. "Hello."

Now you've said hello twice and it's a bit weird.

Step three, you're nervous now, you're panicking. "Hello?"

Third time, three hellos in a row. It's risky.

Step four, she's walking away.

"All right, it was nice chatting to you. Speak to you later."

Anyway, that's Rocket's Island. Good show.

Good fun. Good work. Good. Good.

LAUREN: This is Hank Zipzer, full of crazy characters including

-human light bulb Mr Love, Mickelty saying...

-Stop.

..and Mr Rock, who has a magic hand. Did you see that?

And what about Hank's grandpa, eh? He's a character.

Eh! My little friends.

For some reason, I just can't pinpoint where he's from.

It's that simple.

OK, let's break it down. Strong accent.

I love these simple cheeks and everything that's attached to them.

Owns a salami shop and produces salami at any given moment.

Spicy salami.

-Makes references to lasagne.

-Cooking lasagne.

-And Leonardo da Vinci.

Leonardo da Vinci.

No. No, I'm stumped. Really stumped. Just where is he from?

Hank's mum and dad, not as strange and wacky as everyone else.

But they are when it comes to lunch.

Let's wrestle.

So here they are having an arm wrestle,

the loser having to make lunch for the winner.

If I won the arm wrestling match,

I'd probably ask for a fish finger sandwich or beans on toast or...

Lobster carbonara followed by gooseberry tiramisu.

How is he going to whip that up for lunch?

Who has a lobster just knocking about in a cupboard?

Oh, I'll have the lobster, please.

On to bully boy Nick Mickelty,

who seems to think it's really funny to pull trousers down.

-MUFFLED LAUGHTER

-'No!'

It's OK, Hanky, it's fine.

Just pull your trousers up and we'll just crack on.

Hank, pull your trousers up.

Hank, trousers. Trousers! Pull your trousers. Pull your trousers up!

Yeah, Hank, pull your trousers up, son. It's disgraceful.

I know what he needs to do.

Sit down and chill out with a nice bit of CBBC...

Eh, look, it's Dodge! It's Dodge T Dog!

He's my favourite, Dodge.

Look at me. Dodge, look at me. Are you watching? Dodge!

Oh!

Am I meant to be amused by this CBBC? Cos I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not amused in any way shape and or form.

Right, so I'm sat here watching CBBC for Whoops, I Missed The Bus,

and my owner Mark has only gone and forgotten to tell me

what my name is, hasn't he, eh?

Eh?! Don't they know who I am?

I'm furious, I am.

Piece of paper on my back, Sam and Mark on the telly.

Can this day get any worse?

Are you filming? Make sure you put the star filter on then.

If your pet is a fan of CBBC, then we want to know about it.

Search pet on the website for all the details.

OK, if CBBC was a tennis match,

then this next bit would be the strawberries and cream.

Oh, yes, it's time for the best bits.

I tell you what - I do love me some strawbs.

I can't believe I slept through my alarm again.

This is always happening.

I am so sorry to keep you waiting.

The traffic was murder.

Oh... Oh, I never could park.

This has got to be one of the most surreal things I have ever done -

feeding a hippo in somebody's kitchen.

HE CROWS

KIDS LAUGH

It doesn't look very real, but if I put it in this cage,

I think you'll find that it looks a lot realer.

If I just put it in here, look. Look at that.

Why don't we just walk out of Wimbledon, get in the car,

just drive off into the sunset together.

MUSIC: "At Last" by Etta James

-Nah, I think I might just watch the tennis, Sue.

-Yeah, me too.

Yes, we're here in the lovely Rio 2014 to celebrate the greatest

sport of all - shuffleboard.

He's been...you've been...

HE SOBS

OK, so final attempt to get it right for

Wimbledon World Cup shuffleboard Benny...

Back to you, John, in the studio.

ANDY LAUGHS

-Oh, dear.

-How's that?

-Impressive.

Very impressive.

Hold on a minute, he had the lens cap on for the whole thing.

You are useless.

And that's your lot for this week's Whoops, I Missed The Bus.

I tell you what - it's a good job, cos I need a lie down.

If you want more goodies, then the CBBC iPlayer awaits your eyes.

Hang on, what's that? Oh, you've got to be kidding me. Not again!